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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,864 WwW.SubYab.CoM - (RUMBLING BACKGROUND NOISE) - (CLOCK TICKS) 2 00:00:05,264 --> 00:00:07,264 I like your hair. 3 00:00:10,704 --> 00:00:12,904 This is much nicer than the other room. 4 00:00:12,905 --> 00:00:14,905 This is the better room. 5 00:00:17,665 --> 00:00:19,944 I don't think he's, um, going to come. 6 00:00:19,945 --> 00:00:22,825 I think he just wants me to have to tell you. 7 00:00:24,306 --> 00:00:26,185 Well, I know I said we should wait. 8 00:00:26,186 --> 00:00:27,585 But, perhaps, if this is... 9 00:00:27,586 --> 00:00:29,586 - (DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES) - (FOOTSTEPS APPROACH) 10 00:00:30,586 --> 00:00:32,586 - Hello, Cob. - COB: Hey. 11 00:00:34,466 --> 00:00:37,746 So sorry I'm late, Rose. Um, child care issues. 12 00:00:37,747 --> 00:00:41,906 (CLEARS THROAT) Well, I would say it's nice to see you both again. 13 00:00:41,907 --> 00:00:45,746 But I suppose I wouldn't be, unless something's happened? 14 00:00:45,747 --> 00:00:49,267 Suzie is not living at the house anymore, Rose. 15 00:00:50,668 --> 00:00:52,227 Oh? 16 00:00:52,228 --> 00:00:54,228 Because... 17 00:00:54,948 --> 00:00:56,948 Um... 18 00:00:57,908 --> 00:01:00,747 OK, so, um, someone 19 00:01:00,748 --> 00:01:05,148 somehow has... had access to my phone 20 00:01:05,149 --> 00:01:08,428 or hacked my phone 21 00:01:08,429 --> 00:01:11,908 and downloaded... downloaded photos. 22 00:01:11,909 --> 00:01:16,909 And there was a photo of me on there with someone else. Sexually. 23 00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:19,229 Very clearly someone else. 24 00:01:19,230 --> 00:01:21,509 - Right. - COB: Mm-hm. 25 00:01:21,510 --> 00:01:24,029 Gosh. That must be quite a shock. 26 00:01:24,030 --> 00:01:25,429 I'll fucking say. 27 00:01:25,430 --> 00:01:28,270 And... and Cob assumes that that means 28 00:01:28,271 --> 00:01:30,230 that I'm being unfaithful. 29 00:01:30,231 --> 00:01:32,310 Yeah. Mmm. 30 00:01:32,311 --> 00:01:35,110 Why would I... (LAUGHS) Why would I possibly... 31 00:01:35,111 --> 00:01:37,070 Oh! Of course. 32 00:01:37,071 --> 00:01:39,270 I get it, because I'm insane. 33 00:01:39,271 --> 00:01:41,911 Right, because seeing something with your own eyes 34 00:01:41,912 --> 00:01:45,151 has absolutely no meaning, right? 35 00:01:45,152 --> 00:01:47,152 That's... This is gaslighting. 36 00:01:49,432 --> 00:01:52,072 Uh, what's... what's happening with Franky? 37 00:01:53,472 --> 00:01:54,952 - (LAUGHS) - Frank. Um... 38 00:01:54,953 --> 00:01:58,712 So... he's, uh... he's fine. 39 00:01:58,713 --> 00:02:01,592 You know, I mean, I am... 40 00:02:01,593 --> 00:02:03,592 ..I am coming into the house 41 00:02:03,593 --> 00:02:05,632 at, like, 6am to wake him up 42 00:02:05,633 --> 00:02:08,953 and, um... and then leaving 43 00:02:08,954 --> 00:02:11,473 and then coming back at the end of the day. 44 00:02:11,474 --> 00:02:13,474 - I think he's fine. - (COB SNIGGERS) 45 00:02:14,274 --> 00:02:15,833 I think he's fine. 46 00:02:15,834 --> 00:02:18,193 Um, I don't think he realises, you know, 47 00:02:18,194 --> 00:02:20,764 except this weekend when we're going to the convention, but... 48 00:02:21,755 --> 00:02:23,755 COB: Whose cock is it? 49 00:02:25,355 --> 00:02:26,834 Whose cock is it? 50 00:02:26,835 --> 00:02:29,634 It's what we're here for. Let's just... 51 00:02:29,635 --> 00:02:31,394 We're here now. We're there. Whose cock is it? 52 00:02:31,395 --> 00:02:33,395 Suzie, whose cock is it? 53 00:02:33,396 --> 00:02:35,795 - Do you... I mean... - Whose cock is it? Whose cock is it? 54 00:02:35,796 --> 00:02:38,955 Whose cock is it? Whose cock is it? Whose cock is it? Yeah. 55 00:02:38,956 --> 00:02:40,835 - Do you want me to answer that? - Whose cock is it? 56 00:02:40,836 --> 00:02:42,115 - I don't... - Whose cock is it? 57 00:02:42,116 --> 00:02:43,595 Whose fucking cock is it?! 58 00:02:43,596 --> 00:02:45,756 (JAZZY PIANO MUSIC) 59 00:02:49,437 --> 00:02:51,917 (SCRAPING) 60 00:02:54,677 --> 00:02:56,677 (YAWNS) 61 00:02:57,597 --> 00:02:59,597 - WOMAN: I've got it. - Shit. 62 00:03:02,518 --> 00:03:04,317 You don't have to keep giving me your bed. 63 00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:07,277 - I know I don't have to. - It's so cold. 64 00:03:07,278 --> 00:03:09,477 - How long have you been sat there? - I've got a plan. 65 00:03:09,478 --> 00:03:11,118 We go to the convention, as booked, 66 00:03:11,119 --> 00:03:13,958 but our attitude is, "Fuck you, fake news, you lose." 67 00:03:13,959 --> 00:03:15,438 No, that just... that sounds horrific. 68 00:03:15,439 --> 00:03:17,918 But not going makes it look like it's you and you care. 69 00:03:17,919 --> 00:03:19,878 It is me. And I do care. 70 00:03:19,879 --> 00:03:21,718 Let's not dignify it with a response. 71 00:03:21,719 --> 00:03:23,919 No comment from us and it all goes away. 72 00:03:23,920 --> 00:03:26,199 - SUZIE: Hmm. - NAOMI: Mmm. 73 00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:29,239 - I really need my phone. - Yeah, the police still have it. 74 00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:30,359 But you've got this one. 75 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:33,639 It has all your same contacts and names in it. 76 00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:36,400 It just can't go online, which is good. 77 00:03:36,401 --> 00:03:37,880 Why? What are they saying? 78 00:03:37,881 --> 00:03:40,320 Yeah, you don't need to see that. 79 00:03:40,321 --> 00:03:42,560 Why, is it bad? 80 00:03:42,561 --> 00:03:44,561 - Uh... - Nay? 81 00:03:46,721 --> 00:03:48,560 (GROANS) 82 00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:51,521 But the whole convention is just gonna be sat there, you know. 83 00:03:51,522 --> 00:03:52,721 They're just gonna be sat there 84 00:03:52,722 --> 00:03:54,521 and they're just gonna be looking at my tits 85 00:03:54,522 --> 00:03:55,921 and thinking about me sucking cock. 86 00:03:55,922 --> 00:03:58,041 Yeah, but they always are, babe. 87 00:03:58,042 --> 00:04:00,082 You get dressed. 88 00:04:01,082 --> 00:04:03,802 (THEME MUSIC) 89 00:04:05,243 --> 00:04:08,082 (GLASS SMASHES) 90 00:04:08,083 --> 00:04:09,722 - NAOMI: Are you alright? - Yeah. 91 00:04:09,723 --> 00:04:12,162 Don't forget, no photos or signing anything 92 00:04:12,163 --> 00:04:13,602 until you're on the official table. 93 00:04:13,603 --> 00:04:15,443 We make no reference to the hack at all. 94 00:04:15,444 --> 00:04:18,403 - MAN: Hi, Suzie. - NAOMI: Thanks very much. 95 00:04:18,404 --> 00:04:20,163 - Also, I've cancelled the Q&A. - SUZIE: Hi. 96 00:04:20,164 --> 00:04:21,883 NAOMI: So don't answer any questions. 97 00:04:21,884 --> 00:04:23,843 Look at all these people that love you. 98 00:04:23,844 --> 00:04:25,283 - Thanks. - Hi! 99 00:04:25,284 --> 00:04:26,683 Thanks very much. 100 00:04:26,684 --> 00:04:28,564 - I love you. - Hi. 101 00:04:28,565 --> 00:04:30,684 OK, that's great. Thank you. 102 00:04:30,685 --> 00:04:32,884 - MAN: Captain Bria! - (SCI-FI SOUNDS EFFECTS PLAY) 103 00:04:32,885 --> 00:04:35,804 We don't mention the real world at all. 104 00:04:35,805 --> 00:04:37,204 Nobody cares here. 105 00:04:37,205 --> 00:04:39,124 - Nobody cares about the photos. - Right. 106 00:04:39,125 --> 00:04:41,405 - All they care about is Captain Bria. - Yeah. 107 00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:42,765 - There's not gonna be a Q&A. - Right. 108 00:04:42,766 --> 00:04:43,925 - Some water? - Oh, thank you. 109 00:04:43,926 --> 00:04:46,645 So just go out there and be a smiley, charming bad-ass 110 00:04:46,646 --> 00:04:48,445 like a bad-ass on bad-ass patrol. 111 00:04:48,446 --> 00:04:50,845 Or don't if you don't want to. Just do what you want. 112 00:04:50,846 --> 00:04:51,845 OK. 113 00:04:51,846 --> 00:04:53,086 Also, can you talk about 'AfterDeath' 114 00:04:53,087 --> 00:04:54,886 rather than the sci-fi you did 12 years ago? 115 00:04:54,887 --> 00:04:56,646 - But nobody watches 'AfterDeath'. - Yeah, they do. 116 00:04:56,647 --> 00:04:58,166 Then why do I never meet them? 117 00:04:58,167 --> 00:05:00,206 Because viewing figures don't matter anymore. 118 00:05:00,207 --> 00:05:02,166 Oh, right. It only matters who clicks on it? 119 00:05:02,167 --> 00:05:04,246 Yeah. And, well, that doesn't matter either but... 120 00:05:04,247 --> 00:05:06,727 - So what does matter? - Excuse me, they're ready for you. 121 00:05:06,728 --> 00:05:08,887 - Shh. OK. Let's go. - OK. Great. Yeah. 122 00:05:08,888 --> 00:05:09,927 Thank you. 123 00:05:09,928 --> 00:05:11,887 OK, let's welcome to the stage 124 00:05:11,888 --> 00:05:13,967 the real Captain Bria, Suzie Pickles! 125 00:05:13,968 --> 00:05:15,567 - Anything hanging out my nose? - No, you're good. 126 00:05:15,568 --> 00:05:17,327 - Are you sure? - You're good. 127 00:05:17,328 --> 00:05:20,128 (WILD CHEERING) 128 00:05:22,809 --> 00:05:24,168 Thank you! 129 00:05:24,169 --> 00:05:26,929 Shall I go this way or this way? Hi! 130 00:05:32,370 --> 00:05:34,089 Here's your mic. 131 00:05:34,090 --> 00:05:35,569 Thank you. 132 00:05:35,570 --> 00:05:38,489 - Welcome along. - Shall I just hold this like this? 133 00:05:38,490 --> 00:05:40,369 - Yeah, however you like. - Like, I think that's normal? 134 00:05:40,370 --> 00:05:42,289 Yeah. (LAUGHS) That's fine. Um, alright. 135 00:05:42,290 --> 00:05:45,770 So, you all know our Suzie from her varied career, of course. 136 00:05:45,771 --> 00:05:47,290 From 'Quo Vadis'... 137 00:05:47,291 --> 00:05:49,291 (ALL CHEER) 138 00:05:50,531 --> 00:05:52,530 ..and more recent stuff as well, 139 00:05:52,531 --> 00:05:54,130 uh, the soap stuff... 140 00:05:54,131 --> 00:05:56,090 - Yeah. But we don't mention that. - Alright. 141 00:05:56,091 --> 00:05:59,251 And, of course, 'AfterDeath', which is on streaming now. 142 00:05:59,252 --> 00:06:04,051 Yeah, that's right. And who doesn't love Nazi zombies? 143 00:06:04,052 --> 00:06:05,411 - Right. - (LAUGHTER) 144 00:06:05,412 --> 00:06:07,851 OK, so usually we do a Q&A format. 145 00:06:07,852 --> 00:06:10,292 Uh, I think, today we're just gonna have a conversation between us... 146 00:06:10,293 --> 00:06:11,892 (CROWD GRUMBLES) Aww... 147 00:06:11,893 --> 00:06:14,613 - Oh, no, the masses are revolting! - (LAUGHS) 148 00:06:15,893 --> 00:06:18,972 They've queued for hours to talk to you, Captain Bria. 149 00:06:18,973 --> 00:06:20,692 MAN: Come on, do it. You promised! 150 00:06:20,693 --> 00:06:22,733 (AUDIENCE CLAPS AND CHANTS) Do it! Do it! Do it! 151 00:06:22,734 --> 00:06:24,933 Uh, no, no, no. I love Q&A. No, I love Q&A... 152 00:06:24,934 --> 00:06:26,893 - (WHISTLING) - I wanna, you know... 153 00:06:26,894 --> 00:06:28,493 - I wanna talk directly to them. - Yeah? 154 00:06:28,494 --> 00:06:30,973 - You know, I... I love you guys. - (CHEERING) 155 00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:33,653 - Alright, great! - Whoo! 156 00:06:33,654 --> 00:06:35,574 Uh, let's go to some questions, then. 157 00:06:35,575 --> 00:06:37,894 The mic's out there somewhere. 158 00:06:37,895 --> 00:06:40,294 Uh, yeah, guy with the beard. 159 00:06:40,295 --> 00:06:42,174 Uh, no. Uh, no. 160 00:06:42,175 --> 00:06:44,094 Yeah, you. There you go. Yeah. 161 00:06:44,095 --> 00:06:46,214 (FEEDBACK WHINES) 162 00:06:46,215 --> 00:06:48,495 - Hi, Suzie. - Hello! How are you? 163 00:06:48,496 --> 00:06:50,775 - I love your top. - Oh, thank you, Suzie. 164 00:06:50,776 --> 00:06:52,215 (LAUGHS) 165 00:06:52,216 --> 00:06:57,295 In 'Quo Vadis', your character dies at the end of the series. 166 00:06:57,296 --> 00:06:59,855 But if she did that, 167 00:06:59,856 --> 00:07:01,416 Captain Bria couldn't go back 168 00:07:01,417 --> 00:07:06,416 to where we found her in the first episode on the ship. 169 00:07:06,417 --> 00:07:07,616 Um... 170 00:07:07,617 --> 00:07:11,577 Uh, it would make sense if it was in a different dimension. 171 00:07:12,777 --> 00:07:15,737 Yeah, it would. And I've never closed down that reading. 172 00:07:15,738 --> 00:07:20,017 But, you know, if I'm, um... if I'm just really honest, 173 00:07:20,018 --> 00:07:23,337 I was just thinking about getting into that bloody catsuit every week. 174 00:07:23,338 --> 00:07:24,937 - I mean jumpsuit. - Jumpsuit. Yeah. 175 00:07:24,938 --> 00:07:28,698 Um, well, it is funny you should mention the jumpsuit, Suzie, 176 00:07:28,699 --> 00:07:31,618 because we did a little research mission of our own. 177 00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:32,618 Yep. 178 00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:35,138 And we found the jumpsuit from 'Quo Vadis'. 179 00:07:35,139 --> 00:07:37,898 - (WHOOPING AND CHEERING) - Um, yeah, the real one. 180 00:07:37,899 --> 00:07:40,059 - So let's bring it out. - You're joking. 181 00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:42,619 Here we go. There it is. 182 00:07:42,620 --> 00:07:45,259 - Look at it. - Is it actually the real one? 183 00:07:45,260 --> 00:07:48,059 It's the real one from the archives, yeah. 184 00:07:48,060 --> 00:07:50,139 Oh. Do you need a moment? 185 00:07:50,140 --> 00:07:51,779 - I just remember the smell! - (AUDIENCE CALLS OUT) 186 00:07:51,780 --> 00:07:53,580 Alright, well, lots of other questions 187 00:07:53,581 --> 00:07:56,580 whilst you reacquaint yourself with the jumpsuit. 188 00:07:56,581 --> 00:08:00,340 So, uh, yes, the lady on the side. 189 00:08:00,341 --> 00:08:02,020 - Hi, Suzie. - SUZIE: Hi. 190 00:08:02,021 --> 00:08:04,941 Hi. I'm so sorry to hear about those pictures. 191 00:08:04,942 --> 00:08:07,101 It's such an invasion of privacy. 192 00:08:07,102 --> 00:08:09,421 I can't even imagine. 193 00:08:09,422 --> 00:08:11,581 But it's great to see you here today. 194 00:08:11,582 --> 00:08:13,741 Thank you so much. 195 00:08:13,742 --> 00:08:15,861 So how have you been coping? 196 00:08:15,862 --> 00:08:17,862 Yeah, um... 197 00:08:19,383 --> 00:08:20,542 - RAPTOR: Yeah. - Yeah... 198 00:08:20,543 --> 00:08:21,822 - I... I... I don't... - Can we move it along? 199 00:08:21,823 --> 00:08:24,582 I don't really think this is the venue. In fact, I... 200 00:08:24,583 --> 00:08:25,982 - Can I just take this... - Yeah. 201 00:08:25,983 --> 00:08:27,382 ..moment to... before we get started? 202 00:08:27,383 --> 00:08:29,062 - Yes, of course you can. - OK. Um... 203 00:08:29,063 --> 00:08:31,623 (CLEARS THROAT) So, um... 204 00:08:31,624 --> 00:08:34,303 Look, I just wanted to say that there are... 205 00:08:34,304 --> 00:08:41,223 ..there were some photos posted online last week, 206 00:08:41,224 --> 00:08:45,184 um... supposedly of me, 207 00:08:45,185 --> 00:08:48,464 stolen from me in some mass hack, 208 00:08:48,465 --> 00:08:50,984 and I just wanna say that even though I have no issue 209 00:08:50,985 --> 00:08:55,264 with whatever it is that person's supposed to be doing in the photo... 210 00:08:55,265 --> 00:08:58,785 (LAUGHS) Um, it's not me. No. 211 00:08:58,786 --> 00:09:01,305 I mean, I wish I was that thin. 212 00:09:01,306 --> 00:09:03,906 - WOMAN: It's not a fake. - No, it's a fake. 213 00:09:04,946 --> 00:09:06,825 You know 'Black Mirror'? 214 00:09:06,826 --> 00:09:09,666 It's very 'Black Mirror-y'. Whatever. We're all doomed. 215 00:09:09,667 --> 00:09:13,586 Anyway, I just... I just wanted to put that to bed, you know. 216 00:09:13,587 --> 00:09:17,946 And, um, I don't know, if there's anything to take away from today, 217 00:09:17,947 --> 00:09:21,667 um, don't wank to lies, kids. 218 00:09:21,668 --> 00:09:25,267 - (SCATTERED CHEERING) - RAPTOR: Yes. Uh, good advice. 219 00:09:25,268 --> 00:09:26,947 (APPLAUSE AND CHEERING) 220 00:09:26,948 --> 00:09:29,107 Yes, thank you for that. Alright, uh... 221 00:09:29,108 --> 00:09:30,907 - Sorry, that was a bit blue. - No, that's fine. 222 00:09:30,908 --> 00:09:34,427 It's completely understandable you would say it wasn't you, 223 00:09:34,428 --> 00:09:36,868 but there are other details in the pictures. 224 00:09:36,869 --> 00:09:39,548 Uh, like the necklace you were wearing, uh, for example. 225 00:09:39,549 --> 00:09:40,548 (AUDIENCE MEMBERS BOO) 226 00:09:40,549 --> 00:09:42,628 I mean, which you've worn it on other occasions. 227 00:09:42,629 --> 00:09:44,628 - Yeah, I don't think... - Can we move it along, please? 228 00:09:44,629 --> 00:09:46,748 - I'm just giving you an opportunity. - ..to be talking about this. 229 00:09:46,749 --> 00:09:47,749 This feels very... 230 00:09:47,750 --> 00:09:50,309 Because it is a penis of colour in the pictures... 231 00:09:50,310 --> 00:09:52,669 - Jesus! - You know what? I... Oh, my God. 232 00:09:52,670 --> 00:09:53,669 Yeah, OK. That's enough. 233 00:09:53,670 --> 00:09:56,109 Is that the reason why you're trying to distance yourself... 234 00:09:56,110 --> 00:09:58,629 Sorry, I was just... 235 00:09:58,630 --> 00:10:01,350 I was just wondering if I could still fit into this. 236 00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:04,430 - (CHEERING) - Yes! Are we insured for that? 237 00:10:04,431 --> 00:10:06,430 Well, I guess I'm doing it. 238 00:10:06,431 --> 00:10:09,790 Alright, off she goes to change into the jumpsuit. 239 00:10:09,791 --> 00:10:11,950 - Very shortly she'll be back. - I'll see you in a second. 240 00:10:11,951 --> 00:10:13,951 - See you in a second. - Maybe a minute. Who knows? 241 00:10:13,952 --> 00:10:15,551 - What the fuck? - That's what you came for. 242 00:10:15,552 --> 00:10:17,871 Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! 243 00:10:17,872 --> 00:10:20,271 They should just chuck her out. 244 00:10:20,272 --> 00:10:22,191 Stand up. 245 00:10:22,192 --> 00:10:24,831 - I said don't do questions. - They... they just sat there. 246 00:10:24,832 --> 00:10:26,272 They just sat there waiting. 247 00:10:26,273 --> 00:10:27,792 I can't wear this. It'll make me panic. 248 00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:29,192 - Get it off. - We'll take it off. 249 00:10:29,193 --> 00:10:30,432 Can you take this, please? 250 00:10:30,433 --> 00:10:33,433 (CHEERING AND WHISTLING) 251 00:10:34,673 --> 00:10:36,713 NAOMI: You're looking good, babe. 252 00:10:40,034 --> 00:10:41,753 RAPTOR: Here she is! 253 00:10:41,754 --> 00:10:44,273 Sorry, it's a bit... it's a bit tight. 254 00:10:44,274 --> 00:10:47,993 I actually can't breathe in this. (LAUGHS) 255 00:10:47,994 --> 00:10:52,834 I feel really self-conscious that I've got camel toe. 256 00:10:52,835 --> 00:10:55,835 (FUNKY MUSIC PLAYS) 257 00:11:02,315 --> 00:11:05,355 (PHONE BUZZES AND PLAYS RINGTONE) 258 00:11:08,076 --> 00:11:10,995 SONG: ♪ Ah, dance 259 00:11:10,996 --> 00:11:13,355 ♪ Make your body move 260 00:11:13,356 --> 00:11:15,035 ♪ Dance... ♪ 261 00:11:15,036 --> 00:11:18,036 (SONG CONTINUES PLAYING) 262 00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:21,436 - MAN: Excuse me. - Sorry. 263 00:11:21,437 --> 00:11:23,396 I'm so sorry. 264 00:11:23,397 --> 00:11:24,876 Why? What have you done? 265 00:11:24,877 --> 00:11:28,277 Are you here selling your soul too? 266 00:11:29,678 --> 00:11:32,717 What on earth is that phone? You're not a dealer, are you? 267 00:11:32,718 --> 00:11:35,557 My other phone's in police custody. 268 00:11:35,558 --> 00:11:37,717 Liquid sustenance, please! 269 00:11:37,718 --> 00:11:39,437 You made a sex tape? What happened? 270 00:11:39,438 --> 00:11:42,598 So, OK, so... so one of the girls' mums finds the tape 271 00:11:42,599 --> 00:11:45,278 hidden in the bottom of the wardrobe, she digs it out, 272 00:11:45,279 --> 00:11:48,558 she, of course, goes fucking ballistic and spare, 273 00:11:48,559 --> 00:11:52,358 and then the girls denied it and said that I forced them to do it 274 00:11:52,359 --> 00:11:54,158 and that they never wanted to do a threesome 275 00:11:54,159 --> 00:11:56,799 even though they were laughing the whole way through. 276 00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:59,879 And so the mother then wrote to my agent. 277 00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:03,119 I can't... I don't even remember hearing about that. 278 00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:05,199 Yeah, this is way pre-internet. 279 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:06,879 I bought the family a conservatory. 280 00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:09,120 A conservatory. Fuck. 281 00:12:09,121 --> 00:12:10,960 But don't you... don't you worry about that now? 282 00:12:10,961 --> 00:12:12,920 It coming out? 283 00:12:12,921 --> 00:12:15,040 Yeah. Are you kidding? Absolutely. 284 00:12:15,041 --> 00:12:16,440 Thank you. 285 00:12:16,441 --> 00:12:18,921 And that's why I live my life as a saint. 286 00:12:20,201 --> 00:12:21,681 I'm a good boy. 287 00:12:21,682 --> 00:12:24,401 Which is pretty brutal for me actually because I'm freshly divorced 288 00:12:24,402 --> 00:12:26,841 and I'm in this fantasy franchise, so it's like... 289 00:12:26,842 --> 00:12:29,121 Yeah. I'm sorry. 290 00:12:29,122 --> 00:12:30,641 You're very sweet. 291 00:12:30,642 --> 00:12:32,201 - I'm really sorry. - Cheers. 292 00:12:32,202 --> 00:12:34,402 I'm with Suzie Pickles. Naomi Jones. 293 00:12:34,403 --> 00:12:36,362 Do you mind if I, uh... 294 00:12:36,363 --> 00:12:37,962 Hello. Hi. 295 00:12:37,963 --> 00:12:40,242 - Naomi Jones. This is Suzie Pickles. - Let her in. She's with me. 296 00:12:40,243 --> 00:12:41,242 Yeah, see? 297 00:12:41,243 --> 00:12:43,842 Suz, we need to talk about what happened at the Q&A. 298 00:12:43,843 --> 00:12:45,242 - We should stay. - Hmm? 299 00:12:45,243 --> 00:12:47,723 We have to stay. It's so nice here. 300 00:12:47,724 --> 00:12:49,723 Because it's filled with people who've built shrines to you. 301 00:12:49,724 --> 00:12:52,923 - It's like a big womb. - No, I think we need to debrief, no? 302 00:12:52,924 --> 00:12:54,643 Is that, um, Benjamin Detroit? 303 00:12:54,644 --> 00:12:56,123 He plays that wizard guy... 304 00:12:56,124 --> 00:12:57,923 - Does Milo operate up here? - Who reps him? 305 00:12:57,924 --> 00:12:59,163 - Rude. - Milo? 306 00:12:59,164 --> 00:13:01,644 - Milo had a seizure in Barcelona. - OK, there's always other Milos. 307 00:13:01,645 --> 00:13:04,484 There's always alternative Milos. Please, please, let's get fucked. 308 00:13:04,485 --> 00:13:07,204 - Please. Look at my life! - Doesn't he have a coke problem? 309 00:13:07,205 --> 00:13:10,484 - Yes, in that we don't have any coke. - Ugh. 310 00:13:10,485 --> 00:13:12,485 (RAIN PATTERS) 311 00:13:16,366 --> 00:13:18,366 (EXHALES) 312 00:13:36,807 --> 00:13:39,447 - MAN: How's this fella doing? - (MAN LAUGHS) 313 00:13:51,849 --> 00:13:53,448 SUZIE: I didn't realise you already had coke. 314 00:13:53,449 --> 00:13:56,288 I should ring Naomi and tell her not to get any more. 315 00:13:56,289 --> 00:13:58,448 Yeah, because the... the thing about... the great thing about coke 316 00:13:58,449 --> 00:14:01,168 is... is it's like you never wanna do any more. 317 00:14:01,169 --> 00:14:05,329 Right, this... this... this is very special local stuff. 318 00:14:05,330 --> 00:14:07,849 Apparently you have to do it in a certain way. 319 00:14:07,850 --> 00:14:09,889 An old Mexican guy told me. 320 00:14:09,890 --> 00:14:11,769 - A Mexican man? - A Mexican man. 321 00:14:11,770 --> 00:14:13,889 - A Mexican man in Birmingham? - Yes. 322 00:14:13,890 --> 00:14:15,369 - Indian. - Yes. 323 00:14:15,370 --> 00:14:17,690 Mexican-Indian man in Birmingham. 324 00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:20,490 - So... - Yes. 325 00:14:20,491 --> 00:14:22,610 - You are going to bend over... - Yeah. 326 00:14:22,611 --> 00:14:26,970 ..and, um, I'm going to lick your ass while you do it. 327 00:14:26,971 --> 00:14:28,570 (SUZIE LAUGHS) 328 00:14:28,571 --> 00:14:30,971 That's how it has to be. That's the way to do it. 329 00:14:30,972 --> 00:14:32,251 - Really? - Yeah. 330 00:14:32,252 --> 00:14:34,251 - That's it, is it? - Yeah. I don't make the rules. 331 00:14:34,252 --> 00:14:36,051 Well, it seems like you might. 332 00:14:36,052 --> 00:14:37,771 - Ah! - OK. 333 00:14:37,772 --> 00:14:40,251 So you... so then you... That's gotta be... 334 00:14:40,252 --> 00:14:42,012 - OK, right. - Well, you have to take them. 335 00:14:42,013 --> 00:14:44,212 Let me. I'll do it, though, because I've got the tights. 336 00:14:44,213 --> 00:14:45,892 - No hands. - The tights. 337 00:14:45,893 --> 00:14:47,612 I can handle tights if you need help. 338 00:14:47,613 --> 00:14:49,532 - Just wait! (LAUGHS) - I'm not touching you. 339 00:14:49,533 --> 00:14:51,572 I won't touch you. I'm not going to do any... 340 00:14:51,573 --> 00:14:53,732 - All I'm going to do is... - OK, I'm ready. I'm ready. 341 00:14:53,733 --> 00:14:55,453 - You need to raise it up a bit. - Ahh! 342 00:14:55,454 --> 00:14:57,053 I need to see a bit more action. 343 00:14:57,054 --> 00:14:58,893 Good. Ready? You tell me when you're ready. 344 00:14:58,894 --> 00:15:00,893 Tell me when you're ready. Tell me when you're ready. 345 00:15:00,894 --> 00:15:02,813 - Tell me when you're ready. - I'm ready. I'm ready. 346 00:15:02,814 --> 00:15:04,693 - I'm putting my... - Hang on! OK, ready. 347 00:15:04,694 --> 00:15:06,693 - I have protective eyewear. - I'm ready. I'm ready. 348 00:15:06,694 --> 00:15:08,214 - Three, two, one. Go. - Go! Go! 349 00:15:08,215 --> 00:15:10,215 - (SNORTS) - (SCREAMS) 350 00:15:12,535 --> 00:15:14,454 I barely touched you. 351 00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:16,334 (TYRES SCREECH) 352 00:15:16,335 --> 00:15:17,934 SONG ON CAR STEREO: ♪ It's unnatural 353 00:15:17,935 --> 00:15:20,175 ♪ You belong to me 354 00:15:20,176 --> 00:15:21,975 ♪ I belong to you... ♪ 355 00:15:21,976 --> 00:15:24,615 - Hiya. - WOMAN: Hiya. 356 00:15:24,616 --> 00:15:26,975 I'm here to meet you? I'm Naomi. 357 00:15:26,976 --> 00:15:28,855 I thought I was picking up from Tarek. 358 00:15:28,856 --> 00:15:31,335 - (TYRES SCREECH) - OK, you're driving away. 359 00:15:31,336 --> 00:15:33,736 Yeah, yeah. What has to happen is we have to drive round. 360 00:15:33,737 --> 00:15:34,736 OK. 361 00:15:34,737 --> 00:15:37,256 I can't park or nothing, what with cameras. Better to drive round. 362 00:15:37,257 --> 00:15:38,656 - OK, where are we actually... - (HORN HONKS) 363 00:15:38,657 --> 00:15:40,897 - Fuck off! Hang on. - OK. 364 00:15:41,897 --> 00:15:43,736 Um, if there's anything you want me to... 365 00:15:43,737 --> 00:15:45,617 Can I... can I do anything? Maybe I could... 366 00:15:45,618 --> 00:15:48,257 - Yeah, count the money. - I know how much I have. 367 00:15:48,258 --> 00:15:50,057 Yeah, but count it in front of me. 368 00:15:50,058 --> 00:15:52,457 In... in front of your face? While you're driving? 369 00:15:52,458 --> 00:15:55,057 If you count it next to me, I'll know how much there is. 370 00:15:55,058 --> 00:15:59,298 Right. 20, 40, 60, 100. 371 00:15:59,299 --> 00:16:02,058 I've only got 20s. 120. 372 00:16:02,059 --> 00:16:03,578 Uh, I don't suppose you do change? 373 00:16:03,579 --> 00:16:05,858 I don't know where he's fucking put it. Ohh! 374 00:16:05,859 --> 00:16:08,458 - Where's he put the fucking gear? - OK. 375 00:16:08,459 --> 00:16:10,458 Can you just hold the wheel for a minute, babe? 376 00:16:10,459 --> 00:16:11,899 - Oh, my God, hold the... - (HORN HONKS) 377 00:16:11,900 --> 00:16:16,419 Ohh! Can you see in the back if there's, like, a... like, a wallet? 378 00:16:16,420 --> 00:16:20,139 A... a wallet. Uh, no. 379 00:16:20,140 --> 00:16:22,179 He's not fucking put it where he said he would! 380 00:16:22,180 --> 00:16:24,620 I'm gonna have to call that lying fucker now! 381 00:16:24,621 --> 00:16:26,620 Making me look like a twat again! 382 00:16:26,621 --> 00:16:28,621 Oh, wait. 383 00:16:29,941 --> 00:16:31,140 Oh, it's in me bra. 384 00:16:31,141 --> 00:16:33,260 - OK. - It's in me bra! (LAUGHS) 385 00:16:33,261 --> 00:16:36,660 - It's in your bra. Ah. - I put it there before I came out. 386 00:16:36,661 --> 00:16:40,781 - Oh, I'm a fucking idiot, man! - Ah. 387 00:16:40,782 --> 00:16:42,421 - Here it is, babe. - Yes. 388 00:16:42,422 --> 00:16:43,541 - Swap ya. - Thank you. 389 00:16:43,542 --> 00:16:45,901 - Nice. Nice. - NAOMI: Fuck me. 390 00:16:45,902 --> 00:16:47,501 - (THUD!) - (SIGHS) 391 00:16:47,502 --> 00:16:49,301 So where do you want dropping? 392 00:16:49,302 --> 00:16:51,062 Ahh... 393 00:16:51,063 --> 00:16:54,062 And it's just like, ahh! 394 00:16:54,063 --> 00:16:55,902 And there's me just holding it. 395 00:16:55,903 --> 00:16:58,062 - (BOTH LAUGH) - SONG: ♪ To the left... ♪ 396 00:16:58,063 --> 00:16:59,662 (KNOCK AT DOOR) 397 00:16:59,663 --> 00:17:02,343 - ♪ To the right... ♪ - OK, um... 398 00:17:02,344 --> 00:17:04,343 - Alright, fuck. - Wow. 399 00:17:04,344 --> 00:17:06,183 - OK, fuck! - Wow. 400 00:17:06,184 --> 00:17:09,104 Don't tell Naomi we've already done cocaine. 401 00:17:11,224 --> 00:17:13,664 - Hey! - Hey. 402 00:17:15,465 --> 00:17:16,744 BENJAMIN: Chop, chop. 403 00:17:16,745 --> 00:17:19,464 - 'Room 405'. There you go. - Oh, yes! 404 00:17:19,465 --> 00:17:22,224 - Whee! - Hey. Benjamin Detroit. 405 00:17:22,225 --> 00:17:24,984 - I'm Naomi with the drugs. - Naomi with the drugs. 406 00:17:24,985 --> 00:17:27,424 I can't believe you already had coke. 407 00:17:27,425 --> 00:17:29,305 No, hey, no worries, it's just like, you know, 408 00:17:29,306 --> 00:17:31,305 it's the good stuff, the best stuff, the greatest stuff. 409 00:17:31,306 --> 00:17:34,585 And you start with the red wine, like Jesus did, then you move onto the... 410 00:17:34,586 --> 00:17:36,425 Uh, can I have your phone to go online? 411 00:17:36,426 --> 00:17:38,385 - OK, you... you have a phone. - No, I need it. 412 00:17:38,386 --> 00:17:41,826 I want to show Ben the pictures. I just want to show him the pictures. 413 00:17:41,827 --> 00:17:43,146 - No, babe. - (MOCKINGLY) "Oh, no, babe." 414 00:17:43,147 --> 00:17:45,266 "No, babe. No, babe!" 415 00:17:45,267 --> 00:17:47,906 You know, I'm 30-fucking-5 and married with a kid. 416 00:17:47,907 --> 00:17:50,066 Uh, you're 36. And not for long. 417 00:17:50,067 --> 00:17:51,826 Oh, my God, she let reality into the room. 418 00:17:51,827 --> 00:17:53,707 We've... we've gotta... we've gotta protect the room from this woman. 419 00:17:53,708 --> 00:17:55,267 Yeah, the room is really important. 420 00:17:55,268 --> 00:17:57,827 The room's like international waters, that everything's in the room. 421 00:17:57,828 --> 00:18:00,587 - Do you wanna maybe, you know... - No, we can't go. We're staying. 422 00:18:00,588 --> 00:18:01,907 Right, well, I'm fucking freezing 423 00:18:01,908 --> 00:18:03,507 because I've been outside for, like, an hour. 424 00:18:03,508 --> 00:18:04,947 Yeah, good idea. Get into bed... 425 00:18:04,948 --> 00:18:07,588 You know, he used to be in, like, all of these romantic comedies. 426 00:18:07,589 --> 00:18:09,028 - She hates all this shit. - Does she? 427 00:18:09,029 --> 00:18:11,268 - NAOMI: No, I don't. - Rom-coms, chick flicks... 428 00:18:11,269 --> 00:18:12,708 I hate that they're called that. 429 00:18:12,709 --> 00:18:15,028 - Anyway, he gets letters from teens. - They're a legitimate art form. 430 00:18:15,029 --> 00:18:16,828 - Thank you very much. - Uh, no. 431 00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:19,349 They are male propaganda trying to convince women 432 00:18:19,350 --> 00:18:21,789 that romantic love is their responsibility and desire, 433 00:18:21,790 --> 00:18:22,989 when actually it's just straight men 434 00:18:22,990 --> 00:18:24,589 trying to convince us that we need them. 435 00:18:24,590 --> 00:18:25,629 - So, wait... - There she is. 436 00:18:25,630 --> 00:18:27,629 - I mean, can you believe it? - Wait. Wait, wait, wait! 437 00:18:27,630 --> 00:18:30,149 So, what, rom-coms are propaganda? Or love is? 438 00:18:30,150 --> 00:18:33,870 Both. Ask yourself, as Marx did, who benefits? 439 00:18:33,871 --> 00:18:35,870 I mean, she... she hasn't even had coke yet, so... 440 00:18:35,871 --> 00:18:38,670 Love is just a way of getting women to put aside their own needs. 441 00:18:38,671 --> 00:18:40,590 OK, well, that's my career fucked, then, 442 00:18:40,591 --> 00:18:44,430 because romantic comedies don't even employ white guys anymore anyway. 443 00:18:44,431 --> 00:18:46,831 Oh, my God. OK. Is this guy a bit of a dick? 444 00:18:46,832 --> 00:18:48,591 - No. No, he's fine. I like him. - What?! 445 00:18:48,592 --> 00:18:52,111 Thank you. You know, hey, hey, so Suz says that you're into girls. 446 00:18:52,112 --> 00:18:53,911 - OK. Jesus, Suz. - What? Oh, what? 447 00:18:53,912 --> 00:18:56,031 So, we're not allowed facts anymore? 448 00:18:56,032 --> 00:18:57,712 I just hate you, like, pimping my bi. 449 00:18:57,713 --> 00:18:59,672 So, Naomi lives in this great way now 450 00:18:59,673 --> 00:19:01,352 since she... since she broke up with her ex. 451 00:19:01,353 --> 00:19:03,752 - Can I call her your ex? - Call her what you fucking like. 452 00:19:03,753 --> 00:19:08,152 So, she goes from, like, Airbnb to Airbnb all over London 453 00:19:08,153 --> 00:19:10,633 like she's on this permanent fucking holiday. 454 00:19:10,634 --> 00:19:13,353 A permanent fucking holiday where I work for you all the time, babe. 455 00:19:13,354 --> 00:19:16,833 - I love London. Fucking love it. - I fucking love London! 456 00:19:16,834 --> 00:19:19,553 - It is proper. It is the real deal. - I love it. 457 00:19:19,554 --> 00:19:23,274 Thank you. Uh, so, what, you just go everywhere, fuck everyone? 458 00:19:23,275 --> 00:19:25,434 No, being bi doesn't mean you sleep with everyone. 459 00:19:25,435 --> 00:19:27,154 It just means you can be choosy. 460 00:19:27,155 --> 00:19:29,314 - I would fuck you. - Oh, no, you wouldn't, Suz. 461 00:19:29,315 --> 00:19:30,714 That's not being bi, 462 00:19:30,715 --> 00:19:32,954 that is being a straight woman who's too eager to please. 463 00:19:32,955 --> 00:19:35,194 - Cringe. - Wow! Not the vibe. 464 00:19:35,195 --> 00:19:36,475 Really not the vibe. 465 00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:39,435 It's OK 'cause what Naomi neglects to mention 466 00:19:39,436 --> 00:19:42,075 is that this whole crowdsourcing-a-home approach 467 00:19:42,076 --> 00:19:44,795 is because she still pays the mortgage, right? 468 00:19:44,796 --> 00:19:47,795 Won't ask her ex to move out even though she owns most of the house. 469 00:19:47,796 --> 00:19:51,916 Of the two of us, who is staying on whose fucking floor? Huh? 470 00:19:51,917 --> 00:19:53,836 Hey, guys, it's the womb room. It's the womb room. 471 00:19:53,837 --> 00:19:55,836 - It's like a womb. Look at the sofa. - She's right. 472 00:19:55,837 --> 00:19:57,436 - It's red, it's warm... - She's fucking right. 473 00:19:57,437 --> 00:19:59,196 I mean, what is gonna... 474 00:19:59,197 --> 00:20:01,677 - BENJAMIN: Come on, man. - Seriously, what is gonna happen? 475 00:20:01,678 --> 00:20:03,277 Suz, now is not the time. 476 00:20:03,278 --> 00:20:05,157 Hey, there's nothing you can do about this now. 477 00:20:05,158 --> 00:20:06,517 - No, at home. With Cob. - I know. 478 00:20:06,518 --> 00:20:08,757 - We'll sort it. - Yes. With Cob. 479 00:20:08,758 --> 00:20:11,877 I can't leave, can I? I can't leave because I've... 480 00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:16,038 No, Ben. Because I've got a... I've got a kid. I've got a kid. 481 00:20:16,039 --> 00:20:18,038 - I've got a fucking medicine cabinet. - Sit down. 482 00:20:18,039 --> 00:20:20,558 OK, listen. OK. This is... this is the thing. 483 00:20:20,559 --> 00:20:22,358 You cannot do anything about any of this now. 484 00:20:22,359 --> 00:20:24,598 This is very important. OK, old hand. 485 00:20:24,599 --> 00:20:27,759 So whatever you do, you do not move out of the family home. 486 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:30,159 Fucked me with my second wife. And for custody. 487 00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:32,479 Yeah, I... I agree. I know I'm a hypocrite. 488 00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:34,119 But you're the mother. You bought the house. 489 00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:35,599 - Cob has to leave. - I did buy the house. 490 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:37,279 - You know what is really important? - Yeah? 491 00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:39,759 You wait. See, what is really important is this Birmingham coke. 492 00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:43,160 And the... the very specific way that you must do it. 493 00:20:43,161 --> 00:20:44,320 There is. 494 00:20:44,321 --> 00:20:47,240 Which you, Naomi with the drugs are unaware of. 495 00:20:47,241 --> 00:20:49,560 - Way? - Oh, look, she's gonna chill there. 496 00:20:49,561 --> 00:20:53,521 Um, you... Well, first of all, you need to take your pants off. 497 00:20:53,522 --> 00:20:55,522 (NAOMI AND BEN LAUGH) 498 00:20:58,753 --> 00:21:01,432 (SLOWED-DOWN VERSION OF 'BYE-BYE BABY' BY MARILYN MONROE) 499 00:21:01,433 --> 00:21:04,952 - SONG: ♪ I'll be in my room... ♪ - I love you. 500 00:21:04,953 --> 00:21:07,433 NAOMI: Oh, it's burning. 501 00:21:08,553 --> 00:21:10,553 (SNORTS) 502 00:21:12,274 --> 00:21:15,473 SUZIE: Is this what you want?! Is it?! 503 00:21:15,474 --> 00:21:19,473 Well, have it! Have it all! 504 00:21:19,474 --> 00:21:22,953 Huh! I met my... I met my exercise goal! 505 00:21:22,954 --> 00:21:24,154 Goal! 506 00:21:24,155 --> 00:21:25,554 Well, that's a big achievement 507 00:21:25,555 --> 00:21:26,954 considering you haven't been anywhere. 508 00:21:26,955 --> 00:21:28,474 Listen, I've been thinking. 509 00:21:28,475 --> 00:21:30,874 Let's look at the pictures and everything else. 510 00:21:30,875 --> 00:21:34,074 - No. Now is not the right time. - Let it wash over me as part of life. 511 00:21:34,075 --> 00:21:35,834 - No, no. - No, it is. (GIGGLES) 512 00:21:35,835 --> 00:21:37,915 - We're in prison. - This is a fun time! 513 00:21:37,916 --> 00:21:39,315 - Ahh! - No, this is the best time. 514 00:21:39,316 --> 00:21:40,955 I'm with people that I feel safe with. 515 00:21:40,956 --> 00:21:42,635 You know, like when you do LSD... 516 00:21:42,636 --> 00:21:45,795 - Benjamin, you totally understand... - Yes. Yes. I understand all of ya. 517 00:21:45,796 --> 00:21:47,195 - And you. - NAOMI: Yeah. 518 00:21:47,196 --> 00:21:50,916 You've been friends with me since we were in the womb. 519 00:21:50,917 --> 00:21:54,916 We're now... we're now in the womb room. 520 00:21:54,917 --> 00:21:56,236 NAOMI AND BEN: Ooh! 521 00:21:56,237 --> 00:21:58,516 So, basically, I won this, like, talent competition. 522 00:21:58,517 --> 00:22:02,957 Yeah, when I was, like, 15. Yeah. And... whatever. 523 00:22:02,958 --> 00:22:05,277 Like, my parents were just, you know, were into their own... 524 00:22:05,278 --> 00:22:07,197 - (NAOMI LAUGHS) - They're into their own thing. 525 00:22:07,198 --> 00:22:11,317 And Naomi was doing her A-Levels because she's fucking smart. 526 00:22:11,318 --> 00:22:13,237 NAOMI: Yes. I'm not just a pretty face. 527 00:22:13,238 --> 00:22:16,758 It used to be my dad managing me and then Naomi was like, 528 00:22:16,759 --> 00:22:21,158 "You can't be on some fucking stranger's books." 529 00:22:21,159 --> 00:22:23,318 So, like, first it was my dad and then... 530 00:22:23,319 --> 00:22:25,598 You're not listening. In spite of my dad... 531 00:22:25,599 --> 00:22:27,598 ('BYE-BYE BABY' BY MARILYN MONROE CONTINUES) 532 00:22:27,599 --> 00:22:29,599 Are you... 533 00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:32,759 Are you touching her? 534 00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:34,599 - Yeah, could be. - (GIGGLES) 535 00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:35,719 ♪ No other... ♪ 536 00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:37,999 - This is... - (BENJAMIN LAUGHS) 537 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:43,360 ♪ Guy... ♪ 538 00:22:44,401 --> 00:22:46,880 - (BENJAMIN LAUGHS) - NAOMI: Oh, my God. 539 00:22:46,881 --> 00:22:49,360 ♪ Though I'll 540 00:22:49,361 --> 00:22:54,801 ♪ Be gone 541 00:22:54,802 --> 00:23:00,122 ♪ For a while 542 00:23:01,882 --> 00:23:06,562 ♪ I know that 543 00:23:06,563 --> 00:23:08,802 ♪ I'll be 544 00:23:08,803 --> 00:23:15,683 ♪ Smiling... ♪ 545 00:23:17,523 --> 00:23:19,523 (LIFT PINGS) 546 00:23:21,844 --> 00:23:26,403 Suzie! Suzie! Oh, I love you, Suzie. 547 00:23:26,404 --> 00:23:29,643 - (SONG SPEEDS UP) - ♪ My baby, by and by, and by 548 00:23:29,644 --> 00:23:34,084 - ♪ With my baby, by and by... ♪ - Whose cock is it, Suzie? 549 00:23:34,085 --> 00:23:35,564 ♪ I'll be gloomy... ♪ 550 00:23:35,565 --> 00:23:38,924 - Suzie! I love you, Suzie! - ♪ But send that rainbow to me... ♪ 551 00:23:38,925 --> 00:23:41,924 FAN: Suzie! 552 00:23:41,925 --> 00:23:44,084 COB: Whose cock is it, Suzie? 553 00:23:44,085 --> 00:23:45,685 ♪ Though you'll be gone for a while... ♪ 554 00:23:45,686 --> 00:23:47,325 FAN: I love you, Suzie! 555 00:23:47,326 --> 00:23:49,326 (SILENCE) 556 00:24:22,968 --> 00:24:25,608 (WATER RUNS) 557 00:24:30,049 --> 00:24:32,449 (SLOW PIANO JAZZ) 558 00:24:49,091 --> 00:24:51,291 (BOTTLE CLATTERS) 559 00:25:20,333 --> 00:25:22,373 (MUSIC DISTORTS) 560 00:25:30,374 --> 00:25:32,374 (WATER BUBBLES) 561 00:25:36,174 --> 00:25:38,693 (CHEERING) 562 00:25:38,694 --> 00:25:41,654 - MAN: Suzie! - MAN 2: Suzie! 563 00:25:41,655 --> 00:25:43,974 COB: Whose cock is it, Suzie? 564 00:25:43,975 --> 00:25:45,975 (DREAMY, UNEASY MUSIC) 565 00:25:51,615 --> 00:25:53,615 (WATER GLUGS) 566 00:26:01,496 --> 00:26:02,895 (GROANS) 567 00:26:02,896 --> 00:26:04,896 (BANGING AT DOOR) 568 00:26:13,457 --> 00:26:16,416 - Arrgh. - (BANGING AT DOOR) 569 00:26:16,417 --> 00:26:18,577 Arrgh! 570 00:26:18,578 --> 00:26:20,578 (BANGING CONTINUES) 571 00:26:21,538 --> 00:26:24,418 - (INSISTENT BANGING AT DOOR) - (GASPS) 572 00:26:43,499 --> 00:26:45,499 (COUGHS) 573 00:26:50,260 --> 00:26:52,260 (SNIFFS) 574 00:26:59,541 --> 00:27:01,541 What, are you pissed off with me? 575 00:27:03,341 --> 00:27:06,500 You took the only room key, you didn't answer your phone again. 576 00:27:06,501 --> 00:27:08,900 - Sorry. You gave him a blowjob. - It's incredibly frustrating. 577 00:27:08,901 --> 00:27:10,901 - For about six minutes. - I didn't realise you could talk. 578 00:27:10,902 --> 00:27:12,181 I'm sorry if you liked him. 579 00:27:12,182 --> 00:27:15,421 If anything, that's a testament to your terrible taste in men. 580 00:27:15,422 --> 00:27:17,741 If I could go back and anti-fuck him, I would. 581 00:27:17,742 --> 00:27:20,261 - You fucked him? - What was I supposed to do? 582 00:27:20,262 --> 00:27:22,181 Talk sci-fi? 583 00:27:22,182 --> 00:27:23,662 I couldn't give him another blowjob 584 00:27:23,663 --> 00:27:25,222 'cause I couldn't breathe through my nose 585 00:27:25,223 --> 00:27:26,622 because you'd made me buy cocaine. 586 00:27:26,623 --> 00:27:27,822 Oh, God. Sorry. 587 00:27:27,823 --> 00:27:29,862 His crotch smelled like he'd had sex with a bin. 588 00:27:29,863 --> 00:27:31,863 (COUGHS) 589 00:27:41,104 --> 00:27:43,783 Well, I took a bunch of sleeping pills last night. 590 00:27:43,784 --> 00:27:45,183 - What? - I don't... 591 00:27:45,184 --> 00:27:47,783 - What do you mean, "a bunch"? - I dunno, I... 592 00:27:47,784 --> 00:27:50,344 - Well, how many? - To get rid... Like, four. 593 00:27:50,345 --> 00:27:51,864 - Maybe five. - Four? 594 00:27:51,865 --> 00:27:54,784 - Four. - Four, OK. Wow. 595 00:27:54,785 --> 00:27:56,785 That seems like a weird amount. 596 00:27:57,945 --> 00:28:01,825 Well, I would've taken more, wouldn't I, but I fell asleep. 597 00:28:01,826 --> 00:28:03,345 Because they're sleeping pills. 598 00:28:03,346 --> 00:28:04,945 Fucking hell. What is wrong with you? 599 00:28:04,946 --> 00:28:07,145 - Oh, that's nice. - So you would have died... 600 00:28:07,146 --> 00:28:08,625 Really nice! I wouldn't have died. 601 00:28:08,626 --> 00:28:10,705 ..while I was miserably banging Benjamin Detroit 602 00:28:10,706 --> 00:28:12,825 so you wouldn't have to. 603 00:28:12,826 --> 00:28:14,946 What have we said about sleeping pills, hmm? 604 00:28:14,947 --> 00:28:16,947 They're great. 605 00:28:17,547 --> 00:28:20,306 Marilyn Monroe, Elvis Presley... 606 00:28:20,307 --> 00:28:21,706 - Oh, Elvis Presley. - Heath Ledger! 607 00:28:21,707 --> 00:28:23,946 Didn't he die on the toilet? 608 00:28:23,947 --> 00:28:25,946 He didn't die from being on the toilet, did he? 609 00:28:25,947 --> 00:28:27,027 He didn't die 'from toilet'. 610 00:28:27,028 --> 00:28:29,547 You know, I can't take you anymore. I can't take this. 611 00:28:29,548 --> 00:28:32,428 I feel like I'm having a nervous fucking breakdown. 612 00:28:39,429 --> 00:28:41,549 I'm sorry. Sorry. 613 00:28:43,349 --> 00:28:45,548 How could you not tell me you were fucking someone else? 614 00:28:45,549 --> 00:28:48,348 - I wasn't! - I just found out like everyone else! 615 00:28:48,349 --> 00:28:52,629 - I'm your best fucking friend! - Because you'd be cross like this. 616 00:28:56,110 --> 00:28:57,549 - (SNIFFS) - I know who it is, Suz. 617 00:28:57,550 --> 00:29:01,229 No, you don't know who it is. 618 00:29:01,230 --> 00:29:03,230 Do you? Is it obvious? 619 00:29:05,471 --> 00:29:07,671 God, it's obvious. Yeah. 620 00:29:08,671 --> 00:29:11,111 You know what you have to do, right? 621 00:29:12,751 --> 00:29:14,830 There's no way back from this. 622 00:29:14,831 --> 00:29:19,071 You have to tell Cob it's over. Get him out. 623 00:29:19,072 --> 00:29:22,191 You have to move back into the family home that you paid for... 624 00:29:22,192 --> 00:29:23,631 - Yeah. - ..with Frank. 625 00:29:23,632 --> 00:29:26,351 - Yeah, I know. - Really? 626 00:29:26,352 --> 00:29:28,352 OK, good. 627 00:29:35,193 --> 00:29:37,713 (FOOTSTEPS APPROACH) 628 00:29:39,513 --> 00:29:41,513 These are yours. 629 00:29:46,154 --> 00:29:48,753 So, um, I have something to say. 630 00:29:48,754 --> 00:29:51,153 (SIGHS) 631 00:29:51,154 --> 00:29:53,273 (SCOFFS) Ooh. 632 00:29:53,274 --> 00:29:56,004 No, no, no. I just think that, um... 633 00:29:57,435 --> 00:30:02,114 I... I have been thinking about things 634 00:30:02,115 --> 00:30:05,554 and I think you're right, I think you deserve an explanation. 635 00:30:05,555 --> 00:30:08,315 (SCOFFS) Mmm. 636 00:30:13,036 --> 00:30:15,676 I did sleep with someone else. 637 00:30:16,956 --> 00:30:22,036 And I have a photos of that from a long time ago. 638 00:30:22,037 --> 00:30:24,836 And it is over. 639 00:30:24,837 --> 00:30:25,836 It was over. 640 00:30:25,837 --> 00:30:28,476 But what... what I really want to say 641 00:30:28,477 --> 00:30:31,996 is that I think me being out and away from the house, 642 00:30:31,997 --> 00:30:33,396 I don't think that's right. 643 00:30:33,397 --> 00:30:35,557 I don't think that's right for Frank. 644 00:30:35,558 --> 00:30:38,637 I don't think it's right for... for me 645 00:30:38,638 --> 00:30:41,437 and I... ultimately, I don't think it's right for you. 646 00:30:41,438 --> 00:30:43,797 I think I need to be here. 647 00:30:43,798 --> 00:30:46,437 I think that is what's right. 648 00:30:46,438 --> 00:30:50,238 And so what I'm saying is that 649 00:30:50,239 --> 00:30:51,878 I want to be at home 650 00:30:51,879 --> 00:30:56,718 and I am not prepared to accept a no on that. 651 00:30:56,719 --> 00:31:01,199 And that is how I want to move forward. 100%. 652 00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:11,079 Uh, well. 653 00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:14,200 I think that's what I needed to hear. 654 00:31:15,201 --> 00:31:16,680 It's going to be difficult, you're right, you know, 655 00:31:16,681 --> 00:31:18,600 but we owe it to Frank. 656 00:31:18,601 --> 00:31:20,360 To each other. 657 00:31:20,361 --> 00:31:22,800 SUZIE: Mm-hm. 658 00:31:22,801 --> 00:31:24,961 Well, I mean, obviously, you're going to have to, uh... 659 00:31:27,282 --> 00:31:28,881 ..you're going to have to tell me everything 660 00:31:28,882 --> 00:31:30,281 and I will decide what it means. 661 00:31:30,282 --> 00:31:31,681 But, um, in the meantime, yes, 662 00:31:31,682 --> 00:31:33,682 I accept your offer to come back to the house. 663 00:31:37,362 --> 00:31:41,122 And what about... what about you? 664 00:31:41,123 --> 00:31:43,123 Well, I will, um... 665 00:31:45,043 --> 00:31:49,483 I will work towards considering forgiving you. 666 00:31:51,964 --> 00:31:54,563 - Here? - Because I... 667 00:31:54,564 --> 00:31:57,323 Yeah, I'll admit that it can't have been easy for you either. 668 00:31:57,324 --> 00:32:01,524 And, uh, well, you're gonna need my help to get through it, frankly. 669 00:32:03,124 --> 00:32:05,134 Aren't you? 670 00:32:10,205 --> 00:32:12,205 (SENTIMENTAL JAZZ MUSIC) 671 00:32:13,685 --> 00:32:15,685 COB: OK. 672 00:32:16,405 --> 00:32:18,405 I'm here. 673 00:32:40,247 --> 00:32:42,487 (PHONE BUZZES AND RINGTONE PLAYS) 674 00:32:56,529 --> 00:32:58,529 (PHONE BEEPS) 675 00:33:03,369 --> 00:33:05,369 Hey. Yeah. 676 00:33:06,649 --> 00:33:09,449 I don't know, I just... I've been trying to find the right time. 677 00:33:10,930 --> 00:33:13,610 I'm so sorry about all this. 678 00:33:15,690 --> 00:33:17,690 No-one knows it's you. 679 00:33:20,090 --> 00:33:22,690 (SENTIMENTAL FOLK SONG) 680 00:33:25,651 --> 00:33:28,210 SONG: ♪ Hey, my love 681 00:33:28,211 --> 00:33:30,530 ♪ What you doing? 682 00:33:30,531 --> 00:33:32,930 ♪ You come to watch 683 00:33:32,931 --> 00:33:35,491 ♪ The flowers blooming 684 00:33:35,492 --> 00:33:38,811 ♪ Satellite in the sky 685 00:33:38,812 --> 00:33:41,092 ♪ My, oh, my 686 00:33:45,372 --> 00:33:50,372 ♪ I never met someone like you 687 00:33:50,373 --> 00:33:52,493 ♪ You turn my world... ♪ 52723

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