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- Previously on Wynonna Earp:
- A kid is missing.
2
00:00:03,312 --> 00:00:06,194
- I'm retiring.
- To Sheriff Nicole Haught!
3
00:00:06,219 --> 00:00:08,233
- [EXCLAMATIONS]
- Charlie.
4
00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:09,547
This you flirting?
5
00:00:09,572 --> 00:00:11,813
My baby daddy is married to a vampire.
6
00:00:11,838 --> 00:00:13,008
I don't like you at all.
7
00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:14,891
- Are you sure?
- Stop pretending...
8
00:00:14,916 --> 00:00:17,694
that this isn't what you came here for.
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00:00:17,719 --> 00:00:20,555
[MICHELLE]: He was kind, honest.
His name was Julian.
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00:00:20,580 --> 00:00:23,200
- My dad was an angel.
- You were born out of love.
11
00:00:23,225 --> 00:00:26,486
- We can find Julian if you want.
- What's in it for me?
12
00:00:28,297 --> 00:00:30,583
[GROWLING]
13
00:00:35,015 --> 00:00:39,038
Okay, this is the last time
we're doing this.
14
00:00:39,063 --> 00:00:41,959
Since we both have
such stressful jobs and everything,
15
00:00:41,984 --> 00:00:44,484
we could keep doing this
to take the edge off.
16
00:00:44,509 --> 00:00:45,408
No.
17
00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:48,750
I'm all edge, Charlie. If
you can't handle that...
18
00:00:53,807 --> 00:00:56,648
You may handle me however you please.
19
00:00:57,856 --> 00:01:01,946
Good morning, guys.
I'm Deputy Nicole Haught
and I am here...
20
00:01:01,971 --> 00:01:03,781
- Shitty-shit-shit!
- Whoa, whoa.
21
00:01:03,806 --> 00:01:05,441
I thought that was going pretty good.
22
00:01:05,478 --> 00:01:07,328
How's Purgatory's finest this morning?
23
00:01:07,353 --> 00:01:08,054
Here we go.
24
00:01:08,079 --> 00:01:10,534
Thank you, sincerely,
for all that you do.
25
00:01:10,559 --> 00:01:12,140
I know it's not an easy job.
26
00:01:12,165 --> 00:01:14,784
Nedley calls us hose jockeys.
27
00:01:14,809 --> 00:01:19,164
Uh, Sheriff Nedley's sense of humour
leaves a lot to be desired.
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00:01:19,497 --> 00:01:22,199
And rest assured,
when I am Sheriff,
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00:01:22,224 --> 00:01:25,093
you will be both
respected and supported.
30
00:01:25,118 --> 00:01:27,630
I will also pre-order a
dozen of your calendars.
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00:01:28,286 --> 00:01:30,340
I'm April this year.
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00:01:31,153 --> 00:01:32,656
Happy Easter to me.
33
00:01:32,681 --> 00:01:35,914
I had no idea Officer Haught was your
sister's girlfriend. That's so weird.
34
00:01:36,175 --> 00:01:37,882
You're not one of those
"Adam and Eve,
35
00:01:37,907 --> 00:01:39,578
not Adam and Steve" people, are you?
36
00:01:39,603 --> 00:01:42,602
God, no. Purgatory Pride's
my favourite event of the year.
37
00:01:42,635 --> 00:01:44,289
[CHUCKLING] Purgatory has a Pride?
38
00:01:44,314 --> 00:01:47,692
Yeah. We painted
the fire-engine rainbow.
39
00:01:48,808 --> 00:01:50,575
Nicole warned me about you.
40
00:01:50,948 --> 00:01:53,676
- That I'm super flexible?
- No, that you're a hot mess.
41
00:01:53,701 --> 00:01:56,701
Well, it's better
than a cold... tidy.
42
00:02:01,250 --> 00:02:02,876
This was fun.
43
00:02:03,241 --> 00:02:04,841
Thanks for the, uh...
44
00:02:05,724 --> 00:02:08,098
- Pump?
- That's gross.
45
00:02:08,123 --> 00:02:10,959
- Backdraft?
- Did we do that?
46
00:02:10,984 --> 00:02:12,425
Heat?
47
00:02:13,929 --> 00:02:17,052
- [SIREN BLARING]
- Ah... Nah.
48
00:02:18,730 --> 00:02:20,516
Was that me?
49
00:02:27,908 --> 00:02:29,567
Nothing to see here.
50
00:02:29,592 --> 00:02:33,792
Just an adult woman with adult-woman
needs leaving... a fire hall.
51
00:02:33,817 --> 00:02:37,420
- Let me guess: you need a ride.
- I had a ride. I need a nap.
52
00:02:37,523 --> 00:02:39,057
And a... ride.
53
00:02:39,127 --> 00:02:42,048
So you and Doc,
not a thing anymore?
54
00:02:42,073 --> 00:02:44,007
We were never a thing.
55
00:02:44,032 --> 00:02:46,041
And I haven't seen him for a week.
56
00:02:51,217 --> 00:02:53,425
[SIZZLING]
57
00:02:55,069 --> 00:02:57,428
Burns like a mother!
58
00:02:57,453 --> 00:03:01,001
[GRUNTING] Oh...
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00:03:11,276 --> 00:03:12,910
What have I done?
60
00:03:13,556 --> 00:03:16,057
Bulshar's ring is rejecting you,
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00:03:16,082 --> 00:03:19,325
now that you're compromised.
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Don't worry, my love.
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00:03:22,103 --> 00:03:24,747
Now we're linked together forever.
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00:03:24,946 --> 00:03:27,083
Just like you wanted.
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00:03:27,660 --> 00:03:29,586
[GRUNTING]
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00:03:31,370 --> 00:03:33,756
Just like I wanted.
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00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:38,082
[THEME MUSIC]
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00:03:38,811 --> 00:03:42,765
♪ 'Cause I gave you all I got to give ♪
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00:03:42,790 --> 00:03:45,119
♪ I know that ain't no way to live ♪
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00:03:45,144 --> 00:03:49,719
♪ I told that devil to take you back ♪
71
00:03:49,744 --> 00:03:51,688
♪ I told that devil to take you back ♪
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00:03:51,713 --> 00:03:56,657
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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00:03:57,141 --> 00:03:59,757
♪ All you sexy mothers ♪
74
00:03:59,782 --> 00:04:01,133
♪ OTPSI ♪
75
00:04:01,158 --> 00:04:03,024
What's with the children's choir?
76
00:04:03,049 --> 00:04:06,124
It's a bunch of Omicron Tau Psis
slumming it from the big city.
77
00:04:06,149 --> 00:04:08,039
We confiscated their
party bus this morning.
78
00:04:08,064 --> 00:04:11,585
- Who party-buses at 10 a.m.?
- The deeply committed.
79
00:04:12,593 --> 00:04:15,774
Ah... Drink up, friends.
Drink up, brothers.
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00:04:15,799 --> 00:04:19,302
Drink up, all you sexy... mothers.
81
00:04:19,327 --> 00:04:21,422
- Maybe later.
- Mm. Sorry, I...
82
00:04:21,842 --> 00:04:23,409
I dozed off.
83
00:04:23,434 --> 00:04:25,803
- What's all this?
- Since closing down the abattoir,
84
00:04:25,828 --> 00:04:28,812
thereby rescuing my tall-n'-jazzy,
maybe-kinda boyfriend,
85
00:04:28,837 --> 00:04:31,516
I've been trying to figure out where
Bulshar could've moved his operation.
86
00:04:31,541 --> 00:04:32,908
Nice!
87
00:04:32,933 --> 00:04:35,391
Also, when was the last
time you went home?
88
00:04:35,416 --> 00:04:36,516
Or ate?
89
00:04:36,541 --> 00:04:39,298
Oh, that depends.
What day is it?
90
00:04:39,323 --> 00:04:41,016
We're gonna need to get you
a falafel.
91
00:04:41,041 --> 00:04:44,055
- [GRUNTING] Push with your legs!
- Shut up with your mouth.
92
00:04:44,292 --> 00:04:46,293
Am I finally gonna see your sex cave?
93
00:04:46,747 --> 00:04:48,712
It's more of a closet.
94
00:04:49,031 --> 00:04:51,099
Retired Nedley is kinky.
95
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:54,712
Everything in there I seized from
crime scenes that didn't feel kosher.
96
00:04:54,819 --> 00:04:56,891
Ones with supernatural element.
97
00:04:56,916 --> 00:04:58,565
Why didn't you turn them over
to Dolls?
98
00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:02,970
Well, initially, I wasn't sure
I could trust him. Now I know.
99
00:05:06,461 --> 00:05:09,184
Whoa.
[LAUGHING]
100
00:05:09,473 --> 00:05:12,205
How long have you been
hiding this stuff?
101
00:05:12,230 --> 00:05:14,165
Since I became Sheriff.
102
00:05:14,373 --> 00:05:16,908
Oh... we're gonna find
dinosaur bones.
103
00:05:16,933 --> 00:05:18,110
Ha-ha.
104
00:05:18,135 --> 00:05:20,601
It's up to you two to decide
what to keep, what to burn.
105
00:05:20,626 --> 00:05:24,362
Huh. It's like Hoarders meets Storage
Wars. And I, for one, am here for it.
106
00:05:24,421 --> 00:05:26,946
How you making out with getting
city council's stamp of approval?
107
00:05:26,971 --> 00:05:28,866
Well, Bunny Loblaw
won't return my calls.
108
00:05:28,891 --> 00:05:30,888
That stuck-up Tuesday's
still around?
109
00:05:30,913 --> 00:05:35,126
Yep. And reigning over city council
with an iron fistula.
110
00:05:35,194 --> 00:05:37,897
Bunny Loblaw's the real
king-maker here in Purgatory.
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00:05:37,922 --> 00:05:40,803
And she won't return your
calls because she's a bully.
112
00:05:40,828 --> 00:05:43,096
Bullies smell fear, they
just get more vicious.
113
00:05:43,335 --> 00:05:45,470
- Yeah, dummy, everyone knows that.
- Ow...!
114
00:05:45,495 --> 00:05:47,960
You get her on your own turf,
you look her dead in the eye
115
00:05:47,985 --> 00:05:49,882
and you tell her that you're
the only person for the job.
116
00:05:49,907 --> 00:05:55,702
You're right. I am going to call
her and I'm gonna set up a meeting.
117
00:05:55,727 --> 00:05:57,995
Bunny's gonna eat her for lunch.
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00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:01,570
- Nedley, are you looking at my ass?
- No.
119
00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:06,468
Mm. This'll have to do.
120
00:06:06,701 --> 00:06:08,469
[GUN COCKING]
121
00:06:10,262 --> 00:06:12,197
You shouldn't sneak around
122
00:06:12,319 --> 00:06:16,044
when there's a gun-toting
mental patient on the loose.
123
00:06:16,218 --> 00:06:19,087
- Well, I thought we were friends.
- [MICHELLE CHUCKLING]
124
00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:22,467
You bailed right in the middle
of my Christmas feast.
125
00:06:24,592 --> 00:06:27,471
You find my Brussels sprouts offensive?
126
00:06:28,375 --> 00:06:32,845
I do apologize, ma'am, but...
something came up.
127
00:06:32,870 --> 00:06:34,270
Oh.
128
00:06:41,618 --> 00:06:43,385
You're gonna make it up to me.
129
00:06:44,357 --> 00:06:46,447
I fear this is about to get weird.
130
00:06:46,472 --> 00:06:49,953
Don't worry.
I'll drive if you're tired.
131
00:06:50,553 --> 00:06:52,235
I do not understand.
132
00:06:52,260 --> 00:06:53,927
I need to get out of here.
133
00:06:54,546 --> 00:06:56,114
Just for a little while.
134
00:06:56,139 --> 00:06:58,814
- Cabin fever.
- You don't know the half of it.
135
00:06:58,839 --> 00:07:00,940
Oh, I just might.
136
00:07:01,882 --> 00:07:04,791
Okay... let's go,
137
00:07:04,816 --> 00:07:06,619
before I roll you for the keys.
138
00:07:06,644 --> 00:07:08,679
[CHUCKLING]
139
00:07:08,704 --> 00:07:12,340
[GRUNTING] What do you think about this?
140
00:07:13,770 --> 00:07:16,853
- Urn. Nice.
- Okay.
141
00:07:16,878 --> 00:07:19,579
But is it supernatural?
142
00:07:19,604 --> 00:07:21,393
Supernaturally oogly.
143
00:07:21,418 --> 00:07:22,971
Can you check this out? I...
144
00:07:22,996 --> 00:07:24,530
I found Nedley's old police memo.
145
00:07:24,555 --> 00:07:28,221
"November 9, 1996. Raccoon
stuck in drop ceiling."
146
00:07:28,246 --> 00:07:31,849
[LAUGHING] "Call cleared, but
now require rabies shot."
147
00:07:31,874 --> 00:07:35,351
Wynonna, can you, like,
a little help here, please?
148
00:07:35,376 --> 00:07:39,679
Oh, my God, never...
Holy shit! Baby Nedley.
149
00:07:39,704 --> 00:07:42,139
When you're done with story time,
can you do some actual work?
150
00:07:42,164 --> 00:07:43,811
Nicole,
you're a smart-ish girl.
151
00:07:43,836 --> 00:07:46,000
Surely you've figured out
by now that this whole
152
00:07:46,025 --> 00:07:47,929
"cleaning out the secret
locker" job is bullshit.
153
00:07:47,954 --> 00:07:50,155
Nedley made it up to make us
practice working together.
154
00:07:50,180 --> 00:07:52,741
- He Parent Trapped us.
- None of this stuff matters.
155
00:07:52,766 --> 00:07:55,391
And it sure as hell isn't gonna
help us with our Bulshar problem.
156
00:07:55,416 --> 00:07:58,274
Alright, well, you might be fine
to sit on your ass and do nothing,
157
00:07:58,299 --> 00:07:59,265
but I'm not.
158
00:07:59,290 --> 00:08:01,774
Especially after what he did to Dolls.
159
00:08:03,770 --> 00:08:05,258
You want my help?
160
00:08:05,283 --> 00:08:06,742
- Yes.
- Fine, Nicole.
161
00:08:06,767 --> 00:08:08,961
- Thank you.
- No problem.
162
00:08:08,986 --> 00:08:10,742
- [SIGHING]
- Crap.
163
00:08:10,767 --> 00:08:12,251
[CLATTER]
164
00:08:12,276 --> 00:08:14,856
Crap.
165
00:08:14,881 --> 00:08:17,773
Definitely crap. Not crap.
166
00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:20,132
- More crap!
- Wynonna, you're being reckless!
167
00:08:20,157 --> 00:08:21,492
- Super crap.
- Whoa!
168
00:08:21,517 --> 00:08:23,867
You know what, Deputy Dipshit,
that's kinda my brand,
169
00:08:23,892 --> 00:08:25,706
and it's been working fine so far.
170
00:08:25,731 --> 00:08:29,101
God, I am so sick
of your attitude!
171
00:08:30,948 --> 00:08:35,974
Smooth move, Ginger Spice.
You just earned yourself
seven years' bad luck.
172
00:08:39,988 --> 00:08:44,091
- [THUNDEROUS EXPLOSION]
- [ECHOING RUMBLE]
173
00:08:46,654 --> 00:08:48,755
[GRUNTING]
174
00:09:00,584 --> 00:09:02,180
Hey, Tayla, you seen Doc around lately?
175
00:09:02,205 --> 00:09:02,763
No.
176
00:09:02,797 --> 00:09:05,578
I'll have a whiskey.
Leave the bottle.
177
00:09:07,929 --> 00:09:10,256
Whatcha got there, Sheriff?
178
00:09:10,281 --> 00:09:12,820
Ginger ale.
And it's just Randy now.
179
00:09:12,845 --> 00:09:15,640
Didn't peg you
for a teetotaller, Just Randy.
180
00:09:16,207 --> 00:09:18,208
Well, I'm still on duty.
181
00:09:18,361 --> 00:09:21,492
Those drunken frat boys from the big
city got me running my ass off.
182
00:09:21,517 --> 00:09:24,653
One of the many, many jobs I
won't miss when I retire.
183
00:09:24,678 --> 00:09:27,046
Well, I won't tell if you won't.
184
00:09:29,267 --> 00:09:30,300
Oh.
185
00:09:31,651 --> 00:09:34,286
Look what I found for your
retirement party slideshow.
186
00:09:34,311 --> 00:09:35,712
[CHUCKLING]
187
00:09:38,939 --> 00:09:41,674
It's like your top lip
is wearing a skinny tie.
188
00:09:43,710 --> 00:09:45,444
How's it going
in the evidence locker?
189
00:09:45,469 --> 00:09:47,002
Ugh.
190
00:09:47,121 --> 00:09:50,081
Nicole smashed some stuff. Big surprise.
191
00:09:50,106 --> 00:09:52,875
Must hard to move around with
a giant pickle up your ass.
192
00:09:52,900 --> 00:09:57,003
- Give her some slack, Wynonna.
- You know me. I love slack.
193
00:09:57,028 --> 00:09:59,565
That chick is all work and no play.
Next thing you know,
194
00:09:59,590 --> 00:10:03,831
she's gonna be chopping people up with
an axe like... that dude in the hotel.
195
00:10:03,856 --> 00:10:05,590
Dave at the Motor Inn?
196
00:10:06,460 --> 00:10:09,706
- Him, too.
- Well, go easy on Nicole.
197
00:10:11,863 --> 00:10:14,906
You two have more in
common than you think.
198
00:10:23,282 --> 00:10:25,292
Well, it's worth a shot.
199
00:10:25,636 --> 00:10:28,376
I guess. Okay.
200
00:10:31,704 --> 00:10:33,271
Hi! Bunny.
201
00:10:33,339 --> 00:10:34,840
Uh, come on in.
202
00:10:34,868 --> 00:10:37,136
- I did.
- Can I take your c-coat?
203
00:10:37,243 --> 00:10:40,224
Why? So you can rifle
through the pockets?
204
00:10:41,430 --> 00:10:44,666
Oh! What on God's flat earth is that?
205
00:10:44,691 --> 00:10:47,821
Oh, that's just Calamity Jane.
Please don't worry.
She's super friendly.
206
00:10:47,846 --> 00:10:50,790
I-I don't care what it is.
Either she goes or I go.
207
00:10:50,815 --> 00:10:53,216
I am deathly allergic!
208
00:10:53,241 --> 00:10:54,821
Right. Okay.
209
00:10:56,047 --> 00:10:57,899
Okay. Come on, girlie.
210
00:10:57,924 --> 00:10:59,774
Calamity, you're getting fat.
211
00:10:59,799 --> 00:11:00,610
[MEOWING]
212
00:11:00,635 --> 00:11:05,314
Okay, just make yourself cozy.
One sec. I'll be right back.
213
00:11:16,594 --> 00:11:18,595
Disgusting.
214
00:11:26,232 --> 00:11:27,875
I am sorry, ma'am.
215
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,492
Willa would've been very sorry
about Willa.
216
00:11:30,517 --> 00:11:32,250
That was always her first thought.
217
00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:34,492
Willa was Ward's... pet.
218
00:11:34,517 --> 00:11:37,961
God, she was... spoiled and
she had a mean streak.
219
00:11:38,055 --> 00:11:40,601
She'd have been a terrible heir.
220
00:11:42,349 --> 00:11:44,350
She was just a child.
221
00:11:44,375 --> 00:11:46,664
Yeah, she was my baby.
222
00:11:46,689 --> 00:11:49,460
I'm so sorry I wasn't
there to protect you.
223
00:11:52,845 --> 00:11:54,891
- Hey, where you going now?
- Come on.
224
00:11:54,916 --> 00:11:56,617
I'll tell you which way to turn.
225
00:11:56,642 --> 00:11:58,922
Ms. Gibson. Michelle!
It's freezing out here.
226
00:11:58,947 --> 00:12:01,335
Oh, stop being a wiener.
Come on.
227
00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:03,125
Besides, I know you got
a bottle of tequila
228
00:12:03,150 --> 00:12:05,861
stashed under your seat, and
that's gonna get us through.
229
00:12:05,886 --> 00:12:09,855
So I have some great ideas
on how to make the town safer
230
00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:11,828
and the department run more efficiently.
231
00:12:11,853 --> 00:12:14,355
Well, that's all well and good,
Deputy Haught,
232
00:12:14,380 --> 00:12:16,314
but my main concern is this.
233
00:12:16,339 --> 00:12:18,373
Randy Nedley is full of shit.
234
00:12:18,398 --> 00:12:20,828
- Excuse me?
- I am so sick and tired
235
00:12:20,853 --> 00:12:22,400
of being kept in the dark
236
00:12:22,425 --> 00:12:25,367
about all the strange
occurrences in Purgatory.
237
00:12:25,392 --> 00:12:29,095
I won't be lied to about what's
really going on in my town,
238
00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:30,353
under my nose.
239
00:12:31,762 --> 00:12:34,297
- Which is what exactly?
- Well, you tell me.
240
00:12:34,322 --> 00:12:37,257
That's why I'm here. Unless
you don't want to be sheriff.
241
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,172
And don't give me that hooey
242
00:12:39,197 --> 00:12:44,501
about costume parties gone
awry or zoo animals escaping.
243
00:12:44,609 --> 00:12:49,468
Well, Bunny, um, Purgatory,
it's a very unique... town
244
00:12:49,493 --> 00:12:52,235
with... unique challenges.
245
00:12:52,260 --> 00:12:55,336
Sorry to interrupt. Just need to
talk to Deputy Tater Haught for a sec.
246
00:12:55,361 --> 00:12:57,141
Wynonna,
this is really not a good time.
247
00:12:57,166 --> 00:12:58,735
Actually, it's perfect timing.
248
00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:02,198
Because I'm thinking of
backing Wynonna for Sheriff.
249
00:13:02,595 --> 00:13:05,618
- [LAUGHTER]
- You can't be serious.
250
00:13:05,643 --> 00:13:07,444
I'm dead serious.
251
00:13:07,469 --> 00:13:10,287
Wynonna, you are a straight-shooter.
252
00:13:10,312 --> 00:13:12,880
- You're one tough bitch.
- Hey-o.
253
00:13:12,905 --> 00:13:16,321
And the Earps are one of
Purgatory's original families.
254
00:13:16,702 --> 00:13:18,298
This one...
255
00:13:18,323 --> 00:13:20,923
- This one?
- Sorry, what about "this one"?
256
00:13:20,948 --> 00:13:24,417
What Purgatory needs
is a homegrown hero,
257
00:13:24,442 --> 00:13:27,644
not some fly-by-night outsider,
258
00:13:27,669 --> 00:13:30,737
who, let's face it, is a little too...
259
00:13:32,109 --> 00:13:33,743
different.
260
00:13:34,620 --> 00:13:38,532
- Can I just... real quick, for a sec?
- One sec. We'll just...
261
00:13:38,557 --> 00:13:40,313
in the kitchen.
262
00:13:40,338 --> 00:13:44,142
Wait until Bunny finds out
about Purgatory Pride.
263
00:13:44,167 --> 00:13:46,798
- What are you doing here?!
- Right!
264
00:13:46,823 --> 00:13:49,196
- Uh, it's about Nedley and you...
- And me...
265
00:13:49,221 --> 00:13:53,118
[LAUGHING] Did Buns Buns
really just say I could be...?
266
00:13:53,143 --> 00:13:55,329
Oh, no, you cannot take that job.
267
00:13:55,354 --> 00:13:58,017
- I don't want that job.
- Yeah, 'cause you would be a disaster.
268
00:13:58,042 --> 00:14:01,249
- No shit, Not Sheriff.
- You have no police training,
269
00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:04,204
you're terrible with authority, you're
not even qualified to run a Chipotle!
270
00:14:04,229 --> 00:14:06,664
Guac-a-cuse me? You know what?
271
00:14:06,689 --> 00:14:10,094
Maybe I'd like to be Sheriff Nedley 2.0.
272
00:14:10,119 --> 00:14:12,805
Oh, I'm your boss after all.
273
00:14:12,830 --> 00:14:15,789
Well, excuse me, but you can't even do
one single assignment properly
274
00:14:15,814 --> 00:14:16,798
without breaking a gazillion rules
275
00:14:16,823 --> 00:14:19,142
and a creepy-ass mirror in the process!
276
00:14:19,167 --> 00:14:22,914
Oh, oh, oh, God, oh... ISIS!
277
00:14:22,939 --> 00:14:24,454
What rules?!
278
00:14:24,479 --> 00:14:27,658
Purgatory is the goddamn Thunderdome
and I'm Tina friggin' Turner!
279
00:14:27,683 --> 00:14:29,735
- What are you talking about?!
- Point is,
280
00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:31,938
you can wrap yourself up
in the rules like a...
281
00:14:31,963 --> 00:14:34,110
snug little blanket to
keep you warm at night,
282
00:14:34,135 --> 00:14:36,291
but I'm gonna go get shit done.
283
00:14:38,486 --> 00:14:40,500
Balls! Bunny's dead.
284
00:14:40,525 --> 00:14:42,188
[MEOWING]
285
00:14:42,213 --> 00:14:43,454
[GASPING] Calamity Jane! She's allergic!
286
00:14:43,479 --> 00:14:44,704
Yeah.
287
00:14:45,349 --> 00:14:46,642
Bunny? Hey.
288
00:14:46,667 --> 00:14:48,212
I know a dozen places
we can hide the body.
289
00:14:48,237 --> 00:14:50,830
Oh... oh... She's still alive.
290
00:14:50,855 --> 00:14:52,251
Fine,
I'll save them for next time.
291
00:14:52,276 --> 00:14:53,649
Uh, her purse.
Wynonna, get her purse!
292
00:14:53,674 --> 00:14:57,532
- Yeah, cash.
- No! Medication, Wynonna!
293
00:14:57,940 --> 00:14:59,874
Ah, crap.
294
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,700
[MUMBLING]
295
00:15:01,725 --> 00:15:04,823
Oh! Is this Oxy?! Ow.
296
00:15:04,848 --> 00:15:07,009
- Oh, the tea.
- Oh!
297
00:15:08,501 --> 00:15:12,023
Alright, Bunny, here we go,
here we go. Swallow.
298
00:15:12,048 --> 00:15:15,084
C'mon, c'mon, you old bat! Oh.
299
00:15:15,109 --> 00:15:17,834
Okay.
[BUNNY EXCLAIMING]
300
00:15:18,629 --> 00:15:22,031
- I don't need a doctor!
- How about an exorcist, Bun Bun?
301
00:15:22,056 --> 00:15:23,921
Okay, let's put her in my
cruiser. We'll get her faster
302
00:15:23,946 --> 00:15:25,594
to the hospital with the
lights and sirens on.
303
00:15:25,619 --> 00:15:27,558
Don't take me
to Purgatory General!
304
00:15:27,583 --> 00:15:29,110
They have too many immigrant doctors!
305
00:15:29,135 --> 00:15:31,569
- Okay, that's enough out of you.
- Ow! Jeez!
306
00:15:31,594 --> 00:15:35,142
- Go inside, get her purse.
- So you do wanna rob her?
307
00:15:35,167 --> 00:15:36,961
No, I want to get her meds.
The doctors need them to diagnose her.
308
00:15:36,986 --> 00:15:37,892
Go, go, go!
309
00:15:37,917 --> 00:15:39,040
Get her to the hospital
and get the meds after.
310
00:15:39,065 --> 00:15:39,875
What the hell?!
311
00:15:39,900 --> 00:15:41,360
I will get them. You want
something done right!
312
00:15:41,385 --> 00:15:44,100
- No, I will do it.
- [SHOUTING]
313
00:15:44,125 --> 00:15:48,243
What is going on?!
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
314
00:15:48,268 --> 00:15:50,402
[SHOUTING]
315
00:15:52,906 --> 00:15:56,082
You have gotta be freakin'
kidding me!
316
00:15:56,625 --> 00:16:00,585
- [BUNNY SHOUTING]
- Look who needs my help now.
317
00:16:02,272 --> 00:16:04,372
- What are you doing?
- Get in.
318
00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:07,114
Dude, I have her keys.
What about your truck?
319
00:16:07,139 --> 00:16:09,295
Battery's dead.
I blame your cat for that, too.
320
00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:10,193
Okay, well, I should drive,
321
00:16:10,218 --> 00:16:11,989
because then we're not
stealing Bunny's car,
322
00:16:12,014 --> 00:16:13,581
we're just commandeering
it for official police...
323
00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:16,142
- Bigger fish, Nicole.
- Okay.
324
00:16:16,638 --> 00:16:18,978
Okay, great, I'll call Waverly.
325
00:16:19,003 --> 00:16:20,370
- We're logging on now.
- [NICOLE]: Hurry.
326
00:16:20,426 --> 00:16:22,360
We need to make sure Bunny's okay.
327
00:16:22,385 --> 00:16:25,763
[SNORTING] Sorry, sorry, but it's...
it's kind of funny.
328
00:16:25,788 --> 00:16:27,665
You guys have some terrible luck today.
329
00:16:27,690 --> 00:16:29,678
Like "black fly in your
Chardonnay" kind of terrible.
330
00:16:29,703 --> 00:16:31,867
[WYNONNA]: Speed it up,
Jagged Little Nerd.
331
00:16:32,674 --> 00:16:36,420
Okay.
Pinging the cruiser's GPS,
332
00:16:36,445 --> 00:16:39,139
and... good news! It's parked.
333
00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:42,779
Bunny Nut Cheerios!
You need to hurry.
334
00:16:42,804 --> 00:16:44,357
Later.
335
00:16:44,941 --> 00:16:49,788
Ugh! Of course those two frat brats
drove your car to a biker bar!
336
00:16:49,813 --> 00:16:50,725
Yeah, well,
337
00:16:50,750 --> 00:16:53,209
maybe they're friendly bikers hosting
a Golden Girls Trivia Night.
338
00:16:53,234 --> 00:16:55,725
Well, Rose,
we are not in St. Olaf anymore.
339
00:16:55,750 --> 00:16:58,428
Get me outta here,
you white-trash tart!!
340
00:16:58,453 --> 00:17:00,834
You're feeling better.
Try your handle.
341
00:17:00,859 --> 00:17:01,881
I am!!
342
00:17:01,906 --> 00:17:03,301
It doesn't open from the inside.
343
00:17:03,326 --> 00:17:05,994
It's a safety feature. Haven't you
been arrested, like, 500 times?!
344
00:17:06,019 --> 00:17:09,318
- Not the time, Nicole!
- Luckily, I always have a spare key.
345
00:17:09,343 --> 00:17:11,111
Oh, good.
346
00:17:12,588 --> 00:17:16,920
- [GASPING]
- You are some kind of moron, Haught!
347
00:17:16,945 --> 00:17:19,580
Whoa! Bullet could ricochet
and hit Bunny.
348
00:17:19,605 --> 00:17:21,940
- I'm willing to take the risk.
- Or us.
349
00:17:22,436 --> 00:17:23,436
Okay.
350
00:17:23,461 --> 00:17:25,231
Why don't we just call
the fire department?
351
00:17:25,256 --> 00:17:26,303
- They can pop the door off.
- No!!
352
00:17:26,328 --> 00:17:27,748
- What?
- Do not do that.
353
00:17:27,781 --> 00:17:29,397
They'll never let us
sheriffs live it down.
354
00:17:29,422 --> 00:17:30,767
Okay, you got a better idea?
355
00:17:31,107 --> 00:17:33,889
Yeah. We go in and find
Tweedle Dee, Tweedle Douche,
356
00:17:33,914 --> 00:17:35,631
we're in and out five minutes, tops.
357
00:17:35,656 --> 00:17:38,732
If we get the keys, she'll never
notice, we're good to go. Let's go.
358
00:17:38,757 --> 00:17:42,240
Don't leave me in here,
you sonsofbitches!!
359
00:17:42,265 --> 00:17:44,584
You are gonna hear from my lawyer!!
360
00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:47,811
[BACKGROUND CHATTER]
Peacemaker?
361
00:17:47,836 --> 00:17:49,335
We're outnumbered.
362
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:52,238
We don't want Bunny to think
we went in guns blazing.
363
00:17:52,489 --> 00:17:54,282
[WYNONNA SCOFFING]
364
00:17:55,962 --> 00:18:01,767
I couldn't wait
to join the rodeo circuit
and flee this shithole town.
365
00:18:01,792 --> 00:18:04,061
Then I came back one...
366
00:18:04,086 --> 00:18:07,850
long August weekend and
I got drunk, pregnant.
367
00:18:07,875 --> 00:18:09,977
Ended up marrying Ward Earp.
368
00:18:10,464 --> 00:18:12,842
Well, he did give you
three beautiful daughters.
369
00:18:12,867 --> 00:18:16,603
No, he gave me two. Waverly
was Julian's, remember?
370
00:18:19,487 --> 00:18:21,537
What's it like,
being with an angel?
371
00:18:21,562 --> 00:18:23,563
What's it like being with a demon?
372
00:18:29,074 --> 00:18:31,022
No, Julian made me feel like
373
00:18:31,047 --> 00:18:34,180
I didn't have to break
my spirit to be happy.
374
00:18:35,850 --> 00:18:38,082
- I do know what that is like.
- Hmm.
375
00:18:38,107 --> 00:18:40,350
The night Waverly was born...
376
00:18:41,253 --> 00:18:45,123
Ward pushed Julian outside
of the Ghost River Triangle.
377
00:18:46,243 --> 00:18:48,217
It happened right here.
378
00:18:48,242 --> 00:18:50,677
He's been lost ever since.
379
00:18:50,702 --> 00:18:52,236
How do you know that?
380
00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:56,570
Bobo told me.
381
00:18:56,595 --> 00:18:59,064
Del Rey? You talked to him?
382
00:18:59,209 --> 00:19:01,809
I did more than talk to him.
383
00:19:01,834 --> 00:19:04,790
I gave him the Christmas
dinner that you didn't want.
384
00:19:04,815 --> 00:19:06,449
And his freedom.
385
00:19:07,729 --> 00:19:10,673
Are you out
of your godforsaken mind, woman?
386
00:19:10,698 --> 00:19:13,556
I think we've established,
yes, sometimes.
387
00:19:13,581 --> 00:19:17,868
- You have unleashed a monster.
- Bulshar has risen, sweet cheeks.
388
00:19:17,893 --> 00:19:19,560
These are end times.
389
00:19:19,585 --> 00:19:22,610
It's gonna take monsters
to fight a monster.
390
00:19:22,635 --> 00:19:27,189
Bobo Del Rey has tried to kill
your daughters multiple times.
391
00:19:27,214 --> 00:19:29,082
Nobody's perfect.
392
00:19:29,107 --> 00:19:32,509
You do not get to make those
life-or-death decisions for them!
393
00:19:32,534 --> 00:19:34,568
Who's gonna stop me?
394
00:19:34,593 --> 00:19:36,572
You, Johnny Hank?
395
00:19:36,597 --> 00:19:39,227
Mm. If necessary.
396
00:19:39,252 --> 00:19:40,697
Well, good.
397
00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:42,720
Seems like now we're finally talking.
398
00:19:42,745 --> 00:19:46,173
- So here's my terms.
- [REVENANTS]: Yeah!!!
399
00:19:46,198 --> 00:19:49,307
What should we do
with these interlopers?
400
00:19:49,332 --> 00:19:52,486
Release them to the woods and
hunt them down like dogs?
401
00:19:52,511 --> 00:19:55,150
- [ALL]: Yeah!!
- Or, or...
402
00:19:55,175 --> 00:19:59,445
we could eviscerate them
right here on the bar.
403
00:19:59,470 --> 00:20:00,947
[REVENANTS AGREEING]
404
00:20:00,972 --> 00:20:03,474
Are you gonna stay late
and clean up that mess?
405
00:20:03,499 --> 00:20:06,167
'Cause I'm not. Suggestions?
406
00:20:06,192 --> 00:20:08,960
- Anyone else?
- [REVENANTS SHOUTING]
407
00:20:08,985 --> 00:20:10,829
[GRUNTING]
408
00:20:10,854 --> 00:20:13,589
Yah-ha.
That might be a good idea.
409
00:20:13,614 --> 00:20:15,346
- Shhh-shhh.
- [REVENANT LAUGHING]
410
00:20:15,371 --> 00:20:17,973
Well, well, well.
411
00:20:17,998 --> 00:20:20,251
Looks like today is our lucky day.
412
00:20:20,276 --> 00:20:23,008
Seems the would-be sheriff and the heir
413
00:20:23,033 --> 00:20:25,338
have decided to join
us for a little drink.
414
00:20:25,363 --> 00:20:26,595
[WYNONNA CHUCKLING]
415
00:20:26,620 --> 00:20:28,986
We were dumb to think
we could pull a fast one on you.
416
00:20:29,011 --> 00:20:31,446
But I can tell you're men of sport.
417
00:20:31,471 --> 00:20:35,882
And, you know, where's the sport in
ripping Dumb and Doucher to shreds?
418
00:20:35,907 --> 00:20:37,696
What are you proposin'?
419
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:41,202
I'm proposing
that you let them go,
420
00:20:41,227 --> 00:20:42,359
and...
421
00:20:42,384 --> 00:20:46,921
you and me and, uh, Deputy
Haught to Trot here
422
00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:48,890
have ourselves a little contest.
423
00:20:49,309 --> 00:20:51,010
What are you good at?
424
00:20:51,195 --> 00:20:53,046
- Golden Girls Trivia.
- Drinking.
425
00:20:53,071 --> 00:20:56,241
You really wanna challenge me
to a drinking contest?
426
00:20:56,266 --> 00:20:58,167
Mm-hmm. I do.
427
00:20:58,192 --> 00:21:01,069
And... if we win, then you let us go.
428
00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:05,725
- What happens when I win?
- Then you...
429
00:21:05,750 --> 00:21:08,038
get to... kill us.
430
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:10,750
You could've just offered them
cash.
431
00:21:10,775 --> 00:21:13,927
I didn't work it out all the way
to the end before I pitched it.
432
00:21:13,952 --> 00:21:16,788
You must be
the stupidest heir yet.
433
00:21:16,813 --> 00:21:18,663
Definitely in the top five.
434
00:21:18,688 --> 00:21:20,972
[LAUGHTER] Okay.
435
00:21:20,997 --> 00:21:22,945
Let them Greeks go.
436
00:21:23,514 --> 00:21:25,679
You owe us. Take the
cruiser and the old bag
437
00:21:25,704 --> 00:21:27,608
in the backseat and get
to the hospital, okay?
438
00:21:27,633 --> 00:21:31,169
- Yes, ma'am.
- Now... let's get pissed!
439
00:21:31,194 --> 00:21:34,140
- [REVENANTS]: Yeah!
- [CHEERING]
440
00:21:34,788 --> 00:21:36,897
I'm worried.
Neither of them are answering.
441
00:21:36,922 --> 00:21:39,157
Okay, wait, wait.
Let's just recap.
442
00:21:39,182 --> 00:21:42,498
First, Bunny has a heart
attack at Nicole's.
443
00:21:42,523 --> 00:21:43,195
Yes.
444
00:21:43,220 --> 00:21:45,225
Then the cruiser gets
stolen with Bunny in it.
445
00:21:45,252 --> 00:21:48,523
Then it just happens to end
up at a Revenant roadhouse?
446
00:21:48,548 --> 00:21:51,854
Doesn't that sound
spectacularly unlucky to you?
447
00:21:53,612 --> 00:21:56,757
Too unlucky to be a coincidence?
448
00:21:58,078 --> 00:22:00,843
Mirror, mirror, on the floor...
449
00:22:05,959 --> 00:22:09,763
Maybe if we put it back together,
their luck will change?
450
00:22:09,788 --> 00:22:11,421
Well, it can't get any worse.
451
00:22:11,446 --> 00:22:13,522
- Okay.
- One...
452
00:22:13,547 --> 00:22:16,882
two, three, drink.
453
00:22:18,762 --> 00:22:20,608
[GROANING]
454
00:22:20,633 --> 00:22:23,210
Mm, is that all you got?
455
00:22:23,235 --> 00:22:26,371
Come on, fella, let's take this
up a notch, huh? Grab the ouzo.
456
00:22:26,396 --> 00:22:28,331
I really wish
you would stop helping.
457
00:22:28,356 --> 00:22:32,561
One, two, three, drink!
458
00:22:34,913 --> 00:22:36,447
Ah!
[WINCING]
459
00:22:37,507 --> 00:22:39,716
How you feeling there, Rolfy boy?
460
00:22:39,741 --> 00:22:41,320
- I feel good.
- Good.
461
00:22:41,345 --> 00:22:42,929
I feel strong.
462
00:22:42,954 --> 00:22:44,288
I failed college.
463
00:22:44,313 --> 00:22:48,382
How are you not bombed? You
weigh, like, eight pounds.
464
00:22:48,407 --> 00:22:51,241
I like you. Ena,
465
00:22:51,266 --> 00:22:54,179
dio, tria!
466
00:23:02,383 --> 00:23:05,851
- What's wrong?
- [BELCHING]
467
00:23:06,502 --> 00:23:09,427
- [EXCLAMATIONS]
- Game over, lightweight!
468
00:23:09,452 --> 00:23:11,147
What? I swallowed it!
469
00:23:11,172 --> 00:23:13,825
And it came back up, which means
you lose. Everybody knows that.
470
00:23:13,850 --> 00:23:16,468
It's true, man.
Everyone knows that.
471
00:23:17,257 --> 00:23:21,273
Well, we won fair and square.
Uncuff us.
472
00:23:21,298 --> 00:23:24,140
Hang on!
[SNIFFING]
473
00:23:25,406 --> 00:23:28,350
You've been spitting your
shots into this bottle.
474
00:23:28,375 --> 00:23:31,685
No, she hasn't.
You haven't, right?
475
00:23:31,710 --> 00:23:34,429
- I learned it from Coyote Ugly.
- Oh, I love that movie!
476
00:23:34,454 --> 00:23:35,854
You broke the rules.
477
00:23:36,197 --> 00:23:38,132
Now I get to break your necks.
478
00:23:38,157 --> 00:23:40,765
- Ooh, good one.
- [ROARING]
479
00:23:40,790 --> 00:23:43,147
- [SCREAMING]
- Stop!!
480
00:23:43,172 --> 00:23:44,639
- Stop quipping and run!
- Yep.
481
00:23:44,664 --> 00:23:47,374
Okay!
[GRUNTING]
482
00:23:48,195 --> 00:23:51,397
- [REVENANTS SHOUTING]
- [GRUNTING]
483
00:23:51,831 --> 00:23:53,765
Hurry up! The cuff's chafing.
484
00:23:53,790 --> 00:23:56,468
You're going too fast and I'm too drunk.
485
00:23:56,493 --> 00:23:57,243
Ugh!
486
00:23:57,268 --> 00:23:59,983
- You are literally the worst!
- Climb!
487
00:24:00,008 --> 00:24:02,663
Climb! Climb!
488
00:24:09,044 --> 00:24:11,312
You found my mementos.
489
00:24:11,762 --> 00:24:15,208
You mean the souvenirs of all
the people you have killed?
490
00:24:15,233 --> 00:24:17,853
- That's a vulgar way to put it.
- It is the truth.
491
00:24:18,184 --> 00:24:20,334
Is it Wynonna you're helping?
492
00:24:21,306 --> 00:24:23,640
In a manner of speaking.
493
00:24:23,856 --> 00:24:25,323
She must be some woman
494
00:24:25,348 --> 00:24:28,432
if you're willing to give up
one of your precious pistols.
495
00:24:28,963 --> 00:24:31,220
It's sweet you think she'd want you now.
496
00:24:32,081 --> 00:24:34,850
You know
how your jealousy bores me.
497
00:24:34,875 --> 00:24:36,213
As you really are.
498
00:24:36,238 --> 00:24:38,385
Wynonna helped make me as I am.
499
00:24:38,410 --> 00:24:40,311
[GROWLING]
500
00:24:40,637 --> 00:24:43,606
I did!
Because you asked me to!
501
00:24:46,603 --> 00:24:48,304
My Henry.
502
00:24:49,344 --> 00:24:52,182
The greatest gunslinger that ever lived.
503
00:24:52,524 --> 00:24:55,126
A filthy, rotten scoundrel.
504
00:24:56,176 --> 00:24:59,345
All this helping and sacrificing
she has you doing...
505
00:24:59,370 --> 00:25:02,506
- She thinks I can be better.
- Than what?
506
00:25:02,843 --> 00:25:04,477
It's beneath you.
507
00:25:04,544 --> 00:25:07,413
Wynonna is breaking your spirit.
508
00:25:07,481 --> 00:25:11,550
But I love you when
you're at your worst.
509
00:25:12,534 --> 00:25:13,968
Maybe even more.
510
00:25:19,287 --> 00:25:20,988
Then you'll know...
511
00:25:21,013 --> 00:25:23,281
I'm not a man that does ultimatums.
512
00:25:23,306 --> 00:25:24,907
Or likes to choose.
513
00:25:24,932 --> 00:25:27,276
[CHUCKLING] You have chosen.
514
00:25:27,645 --> 00:25:30,742
And you're mine, forever now.
515
00:25:30,767 --> 00:25:34,136
[GROWLING] So go, tell the Earp heir.
516
00:25:34,823 --> 00:25:38,325
See if she welcomes you
back into her bed.
517
00:25:41,630 --> 00:25:43,543
[SNARLING]
518
00:25:43,899 --> 00:25:47,561
We wouldn't be in this mess
if you just played by the rules!
519
00:25:47,586 --> 00:25:50,264
There are no rules
in this shit-town, Nicole!
520
00:25:50,289 --> 00:25:52,867
If you wanna be all normal and
law-abiding, do it somewhere else!
521
00:25:52,892 --> 00:25:55,140
You know what? Get your ass
out of your head, Wynonna!
522
00:25:55,165 --> 00:25:56,703
You're not the only one
who's been through stuff.
523
00:25:56,728 --> 00:26:00,890
Oh, right, I forgot.
You survived a massacre.
524
00:26:00,915 --> 00:26:04,867
- Yeah, that one is legit as F.
- You're right I did.
525
00:26:04,892 --> 00:26:08,265
Ans so I'm not about to die
here handcuffed to a criminal!
526
00:26:08,290 --> 00:26:09,429
You, by the way.
527
00:26:09,454 --> 00:26:11,489
- [WYNONNA ROARING]
- Oh! Real mature!
528
00:26:11,514 --> 00:26:14,537
You know what?
You survived some shit,
529
00:26:14,562 --> 00:26:16,547
and I cannot wait for your TED Talk,
530
00:26:16,572 --> 00:26:18,945
but get back to me when you're cursed!
531
00:26:18,970 --> 00:26:20,742
- Jesus!
- [CLICKING]
532
00:26:20,767 --> 00:26:23,135
- Mother bad-lucker, it's jammed.
- Argh!
533
00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:25,476
Not even like Space or strawberry,
534
00:26:25,501 --> 00:26:27,461
but the bad kind of jam!
535
00:26:30,983 --> 00:26:36,256
Well, aren't you two
a pair of catty little bitches?
536
00:26:36,281 --> 00:26:37,421
I like it.
537
00:26:37,446 --> 00:26:40,273
All that animosity running
through your veins...
538
00:26:40,298 --> 00:26:42,703
- [GRUNTING]
- You're basting in it.
539
00:26:42,728 --> 00:26:45,856
Oh, it'll make you taste so much better.
540
00:26:48,175 --> 00:26:51,041
- You be Scott.
- You be Tessa.
541
00:27:05,230 --> 00:27:07,813
- We make a pretty good team.
- Yeah, our chemistry's solid.
542
00:27:07,838 --> 00:27:09,081
- [CRACKING]
- Ah!
543
00:27:09,106 --> 00:27:09,798
Okay.
544
00:27:09,823 --> 00:27:12,831
- [GRUNTING] Yep.
- [SHOUTING]
545
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:18,868
[ROARING]
546
00:27:18,893 --> 00:27:22,040
As much as I love a feel-good
ending, this ain't it.
547
00:27:22,065 --> 00:27:23,338
Any last words?
548
00:27:23,363 --> 00:27:25,864
- I miss Macaulay Culkin!
- Tell Waverly I love her!
549
00:27:25,889 --> 00:27:29,253
- Sure, make me look like an asshole.
- [GRUNTING]
550
00:27:29,278 --> 00:27:31,859
[GROANING]
551
00:27:35,121 --> 00:27:38,323
You owe me a wife.
552
00:27:38,348 --> 00:27:40,651
- Is this better, or worse?
- Worse.
553
00:27:40,676 --> 00:27:42,604
Okay.
554
00:27:44,044 --> 00:27:46,251
There's... there's gotta be
one more piece!
555
00:27:46,276 --> 00:27:48,933
Ah, whoop, there it is!
Here, here.
556
00:27:48,958 --> 00:27:51,284
- Oh! Oh, my God.
- Okay, bad luck over?
557
00:27:51,309 --> 00:27:54,331
- We fixed it! Did we fix it?
- I dunno.
558
00:27:55,724 --> 00:27:58,253
- There's a mountain man!!
- A gross, scabby mountain man!!
559
00:27:58,278 --> 00:27:59,995
So not fixed, then.
560
00:28:00,679 --> 00:28:02,737
Not so fast, Gandalf!
561
00:28:02,762 --> 00:28:04,362
No!
562
00:28:04,387 --> 00:28:08,471
- [MOUNTAIN MAN SNARLING]
- You shall not pass!!!
563
00:28:08,496 --> 00:28:10,363
[ROARING]
564
00:28:12,481 --> 00:28:15,698
Yeah, on second thought,
you do you, man...
565
00:28:16,201 --> 00:28:18,347
Ah!!
566
00:28:18,372 --> 00:28:21,999
One of you will be my new wife!
567
00:28:22,024 --> 00:28:24,253
- Not it.
- Did he just say wife?
568
00:28:24,278 --> 00:28:26,046
Come on.
569
00:28:26,071 --> 00:28:28,769
- Help.
- [GROWLING]
570
00:28:31,220 --> 00:28:33,315
Shit!
571
00:28:35,794 --> 00:28:39,163
[WAVERLY]: Okay, the mirror wasn't
the only thing they broke, right?
572
00:28:39,188 --> 00:28:41,440
- Wait. What's this?
- Is that ceramic?
573
00:28:41,465 --> 00:28:44,909
It looks like a...
a lawn ornament?
574
00:28:45,976 --> 00:28:47,543
He's not an ogre.
575
00:28:47,568 --> 00:28:49,159
He's a gnome!
576
00:28:49,184 --> 00:28:54,165
- How does that help us?!
- You owe me a wife. Now choose.
577
00:28:54,190 --> 00:28:56,829
- How could we possibly...
- She'd make a great gnome wife.
578
00:28:56,854 --> 00:29:00,370
- Ooh, loving a good puzzle.
- She's beautiful and...
579
00:29:00,395 --> 00:29:02,870
annoyingly noble. And I
know she's great in bed,
580
00:29:02,902 --> 00:29:04,923
because my house has very thin walls.
581
00:29:04,948 --> 00:29:06,440
- Quick, quick, quick, quick!
- Stop!
582
00:29:06,465 --> 00:29:07,857
You should choose Wynonna.
583
00:29:07,882 --> 00:29:10,884
She is funny and irrepressible,
584
00:29:10,909 --> 00:29:13,979
and she always goes to the mat
for the people she loves.
585
00:29:14,004 --> 00:29:14,792
More tape!
586
00:29:14,817 --> 00:29:17,259
Oh, and she's super fertile!
It was one time.
587
00:29:17,284 --> 00:29:19,972
You stick to that, I will do tape.
588
00:29:19,997 --> 00:29:24,233
I think this would be a really good
time to tell you that I am a lesbian.
589
00:29:24,258 --> 00:29:26,698
Oh, like you never went through
an experimental phase.
590
00:29:26,723 --> 00:29:27,962
Not with gnomes!
591
00:29:27,987 --> 00:29:30,409
That's very narrow-minded,
Nicole! Love is love!
592
00:29:30,434 --> 00:29:32,806
Stop talking!!!
[SCREAMING]
593
00:29:32,831 --> 00:29:34,792
[GRUNTING]
594
00:29:34,817 --> 00:29:37,357
Okay. [GRUNTING]
595
00:29:37,382 --> 00:29:40,651
Ugh! You want a wife,
but you need a mint.
596
00:29:41,059 --> 00:29:43,457
- We're missing a piece!
- Okay, I got the knees!
597
00:29:43,482 --> 00:29:45,940
I got the... Oh, my God, these are...
598
00:29:45,965 --> 00:29:48,912
Boobs?! Oh, hell gnome,
it's a lady!
599
00:29:48,937 --> 00:29:51,440
They broke his gnome wife!
Quick, stick the boobs back on!
600
00:29:51,465 --> 00:29:54,570
- That is a lawsuit waiting to happen!
- Okay, fine, I'll do it!
601
00:29:54,595 --> 00:29:55,862
With the utmost respect, okay?
602
00:29:55,887 --> 00:29:57,554
Just... hand me the double-sided tape!
603
00:29:57,579 --> 00:29:59,838
Oh, God, I really wish
we had a gnome bra!
604
00:29:59,863 --> 00:30:01,596
Done!
605
00:30:01,621 --> 00:30:03,253
There.
606
00:30:07,829 --> 00:30:11,222
Monique! You're alright.
607
00:30:15,204 --> 00:30:17,138
Oh, buh-buh-buh-buh!
608
00:30:17,163 --> 00:30:18,735
Ah!
609
00:30:21,458 --> 00:30:24,493
Aw, that was kind of...
Sweet.
610
00:30:24,518 --> 00:30:26,206
And romantic.
611
00:30:26,231 --> 00:30:29,065
Exactly how
my first Grindr date ended.
612
00:30:30,457 --> 00:30:32,315
I've said too much.
613
00:30:32,340 --> 00:30:34,292
Found it at the old roadhouse.
614
00:30:34,317 --> 00:30:35,886
Doors were open, keys
were in the ignition.
615
00:30:35,911 --> 00:30:37,815
I wouldn't drive it for more than a day.
616
00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:41,253
You never know when the owner's gonna
sober up and report it stolen.
617
00:30:41,278 --> 00:30:44,739
Okay. We got some cash, an ID.
618
00:30:44,764 --> 00:30:49,473
Ooh, I knew an outlaw'd get what's needed
when I need to get out of Dodge fast.
619
00:30:49,632 --> 00:30:53,448
Oh, but... I'm not gonna
take your pistol.
620
00:30:53,473 --> 00:30:55,026
We both know you might need that.
621
00:30:55,051 --> 00:30:56,985
[SIGHING] Much obliged.
622
00:30:57,010 --> 00:31:00,120
Otherwise, nicely done,
Johnny Hank.
623
00:31:00,145 --> 00:31:02,448
Wish I could say the same.
624
00:31:02,601 --> 00:31:04,542
Is this where you beg me to stay?
625
00:31:04,567 --> 00:31:06,839
Oh, I do not beg.
626
00:31:08,704 --> 00:31:11,956
Anyways, this gives us our best
chance at keeping them safe.
627
00:31:11,981 --> 00:31:15,761
Seems to be my lot in life.
Leaving to keep other people safe.
628
00:31:15,786 --> 00:31:17,714
Am I meant to feel sorry for you?
629
00:31:17,739 --> 00:31:18,456
No.
630
00:31:18,481 --> 00:31:20,159
I would never ask you that.
631
00:31:20,184 --> 00:31:23,219
But you do recognize
this, you recognize me,
632
00:31:23,244 --> 00:31:25,127
you recognize what I'm doing.
633
00:31:25,152 --> 00:31:29,206
Setting evil free and imperilling
your own family in the process?
634
00:31:29,231 --> 00:31:32,909
Now that I know what's happened
to Julian, I have to go find him.
635
00:31:32,934 --> 00:31:34,868
He's lost out there.
636
00:31:34,893 --> 00:31:37,828
He's outside the Ghost River Triangle.
637
00:31:38,098 --> 00:31:41,434
From the second
I walked into that barn...
638
00:31:41,459 --> 00:31:44,127
you knew I'd make you leave,
639
00:31:44,244 --> 00:31:46,026
you knew I'd help you.
640
00:31:46,051 --> 00:31:48,846
Sometimes it takes a monster.
641
00:31:49,130 --> 00:31:51,830
Wynonna will be angry.
642
00:31:52,558 --> 00:31:54,872
She's not gonna be angry with you.
643
00:31:54,897 --> 00:31:57,492
She always seems to forgive you.
644
00:31:57,517 --> 00:32:00,643
Still,
you may not escape her anger,
645
00:32:00,668 --> 00:32:04,893
for you are abandoning
your family for love.
646
00:32:04,918 --> 00:32:10,078
Oh. Like I'm gonna let
a vampire lecture me on love.
647
00:32:18,898 --> 00:32:23,070
Oh. [GASPING] Shit.
648
00:32:23,843 --> 00:32:27,086
Out already? Didn't even
have time to send flowers.
649
00:32:27,111 --> 00:32:29,564
It was just a fancy faint.
650
00:32:29,589 --> 00:32:31,977
Yeah, the cat made a bed
in your ass crack.
651
00:32:32,002 --> 00:32:35,273
The doctor said I'm fine.
I'm as healthy as an ox.
652
00:32:35,298 --> 00:32:37,227
- With the cankles to match.
- Listen.
653
00:32:37,252 --> 00:32:40,047
I am just here to tell Officer Haught
654
00:32:40,072 --> 00:32:42,367
that despite the day's events,
655
00:32:42,392 --> 00:32:45,429
she will not be getting my support.
656
00:32:46,386 --> 00:32:49,968
She saved your life,
you incorrigible bitch.
657
00:32:49,993 --> 00:32:51,539
Perhaps.
658
00:32:51,740 --> 00:32:54,929
But she does not belong
here in Purgatory.
659
00:32:54,954 --> 00:32:57,655
She is not our... people.
660
00:32:57,680 --> 00:33:00,421
Are you a xenophobe,
or a homophobe?
661
00:33:00,446 --> 00:33:02,070
Why pick just one?
662
00:33:02,095 --> 00:33:04,148
Even though it was against
her best interest,
663
00:33:04,173 --> 00:33:05,248
Nicole did the right thing.
664
00:33:05,273 --> 00:33:07,742
She always does the right
thing, no matter what.
665
00:33:07,767 --> 00:33:09,898
That's the kind of person
who should be sheriff.
666
00:33:09,922 --> 00:33:11,835
- I'll keep that in mind.
- No.
667
00:33:12,026 --> 00:33:13,473
Bunny...
668
00:33:13,498 --> 00:33:16,820
shouldn't we talk about
what really happened today?
669
00:33:17,245 --> 00:33:19,742
What's really got your
pearls all twisted?
670
00:33:19,767 --> 00:33:21,281
I don't know what you're talking about.
671
00:33:21,306 --> 00:33:23,024
What you saw.
672
00:33:23,505 --> 00:33:25,898
Because you saw something,
didn't you, Bun Bun?
673
00:33:25,923 --> 00:33:29,414
It was just a dream,
a terrible dream.
674
00:33:29,439 --> 00:33:31,679
Like the one where I'm
on the cruise ship
675
00:33:31,704 --> 00:33:34,883
with all the shirtless...
Portuguese sailors.
676
00:33:34,908 --> 00:33:37,710
Okay,
there's a lot to unpack there.
677
00:33:37,735 --> 00:33:40,637
But no... you weren't dreaming.
678
00:33:40,662 --> 00:33:43,062
See, you think you want
to know the things
679
00:33:43,087 --> 00:33:45,274
Nedley's been keeping secret.
680
00:33:45,299 --> 00:33:48,508
You don't. That monster you saw today,
681
00:33:48,533 --> 00:33:51,902
it's just... the tip of the iceberg.
682
00:33:52,124 --> 00:33:53,273
Iceberg?
683
00:33:53,298 --> 00:33:55,583
If you don't back Nicole
for sheriff,
684
00:33:55,608 --> 00:33:59,874
I am sending that monster and
all of his demon friends...
685
00:34:00,218 --> 00:34:01,956
to your house.
686
00:34:01,981 --> 00:34:05,164
You can't and you won't.
687
00:34:05,189 --> 00:34:08,091
Oh, bless your cold,
withered heart.
688
00:34:08,116 --> 00:34:10,925
You think it could handle
another "fancy faint"?
689
00:34:11,967 --> 00:34:16,097
Then Nicole Haught's gonna
be the next sheriff. Okay?
690
00:34:16,122 --> 00:34:17,599
Have a lovely day.
691
00:34:17,624 --> 00:34:19,525
I need to get to church.
692
00:34:19,550 --> 00:34:22,645
You gotta book yourself
that cruise.
693
00:34:28,411 --> 00:34:30,211
How long have you been listening?
694
00:34:30,236 --> 00:34:32,044
It would've been rude
to interrupt.
695
00:34:32,069 --> 00:34:35,300
- Naughty Haughty.
- How's your head? Because...
696
00:34:35,325 --> 00:34:37,614
I feel like I can hear space and time.
697
00:34:37,639 --> 00:34:41,164
[BOTH CHUCKLING] Hair of the dog?
698
00:34:42,039 --> 00:34:44,640
Officer Haught. At work?
699
00:34:44,665 --> 00:34:47,467
Well, some rules
are made to be broken.
700
00:34:47,672 --> 00:34:49,739
Huh. Maybe
you would be a good wife.
701
00:34:49,764 --> 00:34:53,130
Ah, thank you. But you're not my type.
You cheat at drinking games.
702
00:34:53,155 --> 00:34:55,309
- [LAUGHTER]
- Mm-hmm.
703
00:34:58,089 --> 00:34:59,456
Truce?
704
00:34:59,594 --> 00:35:01,729
More than a truce. A win.
705
00:35:02,140 --> 00:35:03,741
Hm.
706
00:35:06,003 --> 00:35:08,704
You know, I used to think
you were an outsider too.
707
00:35:08,729 --> 00:35:11,898
And that things would get
too demony and you would...
708
00:35:12,271 --> 00:35:14,950
go and leave my sister
with a broken heart.
709
00:35:14,975 --> 00:35:17,684
Wynonna, I love her.
710
00:35:17,709 --> 00:35:19,472
Ew.
711
00:35:19,497 --> 00:35:21,411
Also, you'd better.
712
00:35:23,307 --> 00:35:25,341
And I love you, too.
713
00:35:25,424 --> 00:35:27,216
I mean, I know it's terribly unfair
714
00:35:27,241 --> 00:35:29,718
and sometimes I really get... jealous,
715
00:35:29,743 --> 00:35:32,169
because you get to be...
716
00:35:33,020 --> 00:35:35,051
Get to be what?
717
00:35:35,946 --> 00:35:37,761
You.
718
00:35:40,156 --> 00:35:43,142
You know, you're staked
to this land, same as me.
719
00:35:43,167 --> 00:35:45,227
You never had a choice.
720
00:35:45,252 --> 00:35:47,188
What do you mean?
721
00:35:51,702 --> 00:35:53,848
It wasn't Black Badge
who saved you
722
00:35:53,873 --> 00:35:56,778
from the Cult of Bulshar
massacre, Nicole.
723
00:35:58,579 --> 00:36:01,243
It was an idealistic local cop.
724
00:36:06,228 --> 00:36:09,763
- [GRUNTING AND SIGHING]
- [KNOCKING]
725
00:36:10,444 --> 00:36:12,296
Oh...
726
00:36:13,201 --> 00:36:17,786
That little dance battle at the
vampire ball really did my back in.
727
00:36:24,630 --> 00:36:26,294
Ah...
728
00:36:32,696 --> 00:36:35,030
You were so damn scared.
729
00:36:37,071 --> 00:36:39,645
Still so damn tough.
730
00:36:40,213 --> 00:36:42,648
I found you downriver from the massacre.
731
00:36:42,673 --> 00:36:46,042
You'd gotten yourself into a
canoe, you got away, so...
732
00:36:47,448 --> 00:36:49,182
You're the one.
733
00:36:55,985 --> 00:36:58,575
Kept an eye on you afterwards.
734
00:36:59,170 --> 00:37:01,888
You know, those folks of yours...
735
00:37:02,582 --> 00:37:04,072
Who lets their
six-year-old daughter
736
00:37:04,097 --> 00:37:06,543
go to a music
festival in the woods?
737
00:37:06,631 --> 00:37:10,036
[SCOFFING] My parents were
never anything but selfish.
738
00:37:10,061 --> 00:37:11,762
If they could see you now.
739
00:37:11,787 --> 00:37:13,900
Uh... we don't talk.
740
00:37:14,354 --> 00:37:17,783
Why?
Because of... who you are?
741
00:37:17,808 --> 00:37:19,257
Yeah.
742
00:37:19,282 --> 00:37:20,849
A cop.
743
00:37:21,135 --> 00:37:23,986
When I found out you'd enrolled
in the police academy,
744
00:37:24,011 --> 00:37:26,160
I couldn't resist offering you this job.
745
00:37:26,185 --> 00:37:28,735
When I saw the posting,
I... I knew
746
00:37:28,760 --> 00:37:30,827
that this was where I had to serve.
747
00:37:34,058 --> 00:37:36,205
Everything good that I have in my life
748
00:37:36,230 --> 00:37:39,300
is because I came back to
the Ghost River Triangle.
749
00:37:44,447 --> 00:37:48,187
You're like a daughter...
to me.
750
00:38:06,407 --> 00:38:08,995
You're wrinkling the
crease in my khakis.
751
00:38:17,031 --> 00:38:18,937
Thank you.
752
00:38:20,878 --> 00:38:23,906
You are a tough act to follow.
753
00:38:23,931 --> 00:38:26,578
I'm not going anywhere.
754
00:38:27,905 --> 00:38:30,267
Not if you really need me.
755
00:38:30,602 --> 00:38:33,396
Congratulations, Sheriff Haught.
756
00:38:34,630 --> 00:38:36,791
You earned it.
757
00:38:39,934 --> 00:38:42,869
Fill a tub with tequila
and salt the rim.
758
00:38:43,432 --> 00:38:45,700
I have had a day.
759
00:38:47,940 --> 00:38:49,474
She's gone.
760
00:38:51,827 --> 00:38:54,124
Went to find Julian.
761
00:39:01,586 --> 00:39:07,013
But we just had Christmas
together and it was so nice.
762
00:39:07,208 --> 00:39:09,576
We could spend our whole lives
trying to figure out
763
00:39:09,601 --> 00:39:12,017
why she does what she does, baby girl.
764
00:39:12,351 --> 00:39:13,894
We already have.
765
00:39:15,105 --> 00:39:17,715
At least now she really is free.
766
00:39:17,740 --> 00:39:19,044
Must be nice.
767
00:39:19,069 --> 00:39:25,067
(DRAMATIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
768
00:39:27,984 --> 00:39:30,652
♪
769
00:39:33,216 --> 00:39:34,783
Good evening.
770
00:39:36,677 --> 00:39:39,011
I come bearing gifts.
771
00:39:39,324 --> 00:39:41,922
Well, gift.
772
00:39:47,803 --> 00:39:50,372
- This is...
- Bulshar's ring.
773
00:39:50,397 --> 00:39:52,832
It may protect you in
your upcoming battle.
774
00:39:53,448 --> 00:39:56,116
How did you get it?
Nicole had it.
775
00:39:56,141 --> 00:40:00,211
Well...
the details are a little foggy.
776
00:40:00,937 --> 00:40:03,439
I do like to day drink, as you know.
777
00:40:03,464 --> 00:40:04,898
Why don't you keep it?
778
00:40:06,828 --> 00:40:10,397
Anyone ever tell you not to
look a gift horse in the mouth?
779
00:40:10,832 --> 00:40:12,929
Did you spend the day
with my mother?
780
00:40:12,954 --> 00:40:15,414
She essentially treated
me as her Ober...
781
00:40:15,439 --> 00:40:16,998
Uber.
782
00:40:22,108 --> 00:40:24,976
What she told me
may require some explanation.
783
00:40:25,001 --> 00:40:26,632
She thought so, too.
784
00:40:28,407 --> 00:40:30,116
Lemme just read it to you.
785
00:40:30,904 --> 00:40:32,973
"Dear Wynonna,
786
00:40:33,628 --> 00:40:36,364
don't trust Doc Holliday.
787
00:40:37,843 --> 00:40:40,046
He's not what he says he is."
788
00:40:40,279 --> 00:40:43,172
Did she also say
she set Bobo free from the well?
789
00:40:43,197 --> 00:40:45,867
She does love to burn a place
down before she runs.
790
00:40:45,892 --> 00:40:47,758
The recklessness
of her actions -
791
00:40:47,783 --> 00:40:50,976
I do not see how she could
remain here and keep you safe.
792
00:40:51,001 --> 00:40:53,101
Just tell me what you did.
793
00:40:56,244 --> 00:40:57,778
Who are you?
794
00:40:58,546 --> 00:41:01,398
- Who I've always been.
- Don't talk to me in riddles.
795
00:41:01,423 --> 00:41:04,132
- How should I talk to you, then?
- Like you give a shit about me.
796
00:41:04,157 --> 00:41:06,289
You refused me.
797
00:41:09,151 --> 00:41:11,945
Wynonna, I do care...
798
00:41:12,826 --> 00:41:15,648
You are runnin' out of road, woman.
799
00:41:15,752 --> 00:41:17,684
Tell me what you are.
800
00:41:18,994 --> 00:41:22,414
[ROARING]
801
00:41:24,104 --> 00:41:26,375
Kate.
802
00:41:27,340 --> 00:41:30,489
You let her do this.
803
00:41:32,170 --> 00:41:34,326
She had you.
804
00:41:34,825 --> 00:41:36,796
It was the only way.
805
00:41:36,821 --> 00:41:39,366
What about us?
[SNIFFLING]
806
00:41:39,391 --> 00:41:41,695
What about Alice?
807
00:41:42,544 --> 00:41:44,390
What would our daughter say
808
00:41:44,415 --> 00:41:47,928
if she knew her father sold his soul?!
809
00:41:47,953 --> 00:41:51,695
You of all people should understand
the sacrifices that have been made.
810
00:41:51,720 --> 00:41:55,296
You wanted your immortality
that badly, selfish asshole?!
811
00:41:55,321 --> 00:41:57,539
You watch your mouth!!
812
00:41:58,694 --> 00:42:00,617
Bite me.
813
00:42:03,262 --> 00:42:05,461
There are some...
814
00:42:06,773 --> 00:42:08,373
advantages...
815
00:42:09,636 --> 00:42:11,659
to you being a vampire.
816
00:42:12,354 --> 00:42:14,155
John Henry Holliday,
817
00:42:14,434 --> 00:42:17,332
you're not welcome in my home anymore.
818
00:42:17,357 --> 00:42:18,629
Don't you do this.
819
00:42:18,654 --> 00:42:21,332
No, you did this.
820
00:42:21,357 --> 00:42:23,535
Not me.
821
00:42:28,012 --> 00:42:34,183
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
61466
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