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1
00:00:25,199 --> 00:00:27,199
- Old man, where that money at?
- Leave me alone.
2
00:00:27,199 --> 00:00:28,899
- Give me your wallet!
- Leave me alone.
3
00:00:28,899 --> 00:00:30,699
- Come on. Give me your wallet.
- Leave me alone, man.
4
00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:32,399
Leave me alone! Leave me alone!
5
00:00:32,799 --> 00:00:33,799
Hey!
6
00:00:33,799 --> 00:00:36,299
You have the nerve to bring weapons
7
00:00:36,299 --> 00:00:38,799
inside my children's playground?
8
00:00:38,799 --> 00:00:40,299
Step off, soccer mom!
9
00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:41,600
You step off!
10
00:00:42,299 --> 00:00:45,899
What kind of human beings steal
money from a senior citizen
11
00:00:46,100 --> 00:00:47,899
10 feet from a jungle gym?
12
00:00:47,899 --> 00:00:49,600
What, you're gonna slash him
13
00:00:49,700 --> 00:00:51,100
in front of all the
toddlers so they can have
14
00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:53,700
recurring nightmares for
the rest of their lives?
15
00:00:54,500 --> 00:00:56,299
Huh, what're you gonna do, biatch?
16
00:00:56,399 --> 00:00:58,399
Gimme that money, old man! Come on.
17
00:00:58,399 --> 00:00:59,700
Where's that wallet at? Come on.
18
00:00:59,700 --> 00:01:00,799
- Leave me alone.
- Give it!
19
00:01:06,099 --> 00:01:07,200
Now you the bitch.
20
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:12,299
And you're under arrest.
21
00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:16,900
Gross!
22
00:01:19,299 --> 00:01:20,500
Five-second rule.
23
00:01:22,599 --> 00:01:27,099
24
00:01:36,599 --> 00:01:39,099
Manhattan south,
homicide squad requested.
25
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,599
Report of criminal fatality at the Neoteric.
26
00:01:41,599 --> 00:01:43,200
325 Water.
27
00:01:44,500 --> 00:01:48,599
Hey, victim's a female, white,
40s, no ID, purse or cell,
28
00:01:48,599 --> 00:01:51,799
paid in cash, gave the name
Samantha Jones, could be made-up.
29
00:01:51,799 --> 00:01:53,900
You think? Security cameras?
30
00:01:53,900 --> 00:01:55,400
None up here, but plenty downstairs,
31
00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:57,099
even though it's a zoo in the lobby.
32
00:01:57,099 --> 00:02:00,500
Hotel security said they saw her
on tape come in around 7:00, alone.
33
00:02:00,500 --> 00:02:02,799
As far as the guy is concerned,
a needle in a haystack.
34
00:02:02,799 --> 00:02:05,599
Detective, lights-out for this one, uh,
35
00:02:05,599 --> 00:02:08,099
approximately 8:00 to 11:00 P.M.
36
00:02:08,099 --> 00:02:12,000
Bruising indicates a struggle. The
manner of death, ligature strangulation.
37
00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:14,599
Likely weapon is the victim's own scarf.
38
00:02:14,599 --> 00:02:17,699
It makes sense, easier to use than hands,
39
00:02:17,699 --> 00:02:19,800
distributes the weight, the pressure evenly.
40
00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:22,300
- Might not be a big guy.
- Or gal.
41
00:02:22,300 --> 00:02:24,800
Well, whoever it is, they
are scratched up pretty good.
42
00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:27,300
I got a whole mess of skin
fragments under her nails.
43
00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:29,300
I'll try to match DNA.
44
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:32,099
Am I the only one noticing the funk in here?
45
00:02:32,099 --> 00:02:34,900
My allergies have been acting up.
Smells like sex or something?
46
00:02:34,900 --> 00:02:36,500
I wouldn't remember.
47
00:02:36,900 --> 00:02:39,500
No, more like bad cologne.
48
00:02:39,500 --> 00:02:42,099
Like a blend of musk and roadkill.
49
00:02:42,099 --> 00:02:45,099
All right, so no forced entry,
she must have known her killer.
50
00:02:45,099 --> 00:02:48,400
Fake name, cash... Hooker and John?
51
00:02:48,900 --> 00:02:50,800
Dress comes from one of
those discount chains,
52
00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:52,500
they always cut the tag like this.
53
00:02:52,500 --> 00:02:55,699
Simple makeup, no implants.
54
00:02:55,699 --> 00:02:59,000
Samantha Jones... Sex and the City, anyone?
55
00:03:03,300 --> 00:03:04,699
Wrong demo.
56
00:03:05,300 --> 00:03:06,599
No.
57
00:03:06,599 --> 00:03:09,900
More likely she's just
a regular suburban gal.
58
00:03:10,199 --> 00:03:12,099
Fifty shades of very dark grey.
59
00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:14,599
All right, let's get the fingerprints,
find out who she is.
60
00:03:14,599 --> 00:03:15,900
You got it.
61
00:03:15,900 --> 00:03:17,300
Follow me.
62
00:03:24,199 --> 00:03:25,699
Oh, it's just a typical nightgown,
63
00:03:25,699 --> 00:03:27,000
she could have bought this anywhere.
64
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:27,900
Excuse me!
65
00:03:28,599 --> 00:03:29,699
Mmm-hmm?
66
00:03:29,699 --> 00:03:32,900
It's a camisole and she bought
it here. It's their own label.
67
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,800
Jake dragged me in here once,
thinking we could act out
68
00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,900
some changing room male fantasy.
69
00:03:37,900 --> 00:03:39,699
- How'd that go?
- Quickly.
70
00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:41,099
Happens.
71
00:03:41,099 --> 00:03:43,699
Well, this stuff's more upscale
than the rest of our vic's clothes.
72
00:03:43,699 --> 00:03:45,900
And considering how much she
spent on that hotel suite,
73
00:03:45,900 --> 00:03:47,699
must have been a big night for her.
74
00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,000
Excuse me! I'm just following up
75
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,900
on my "excuse me!" from 30 seconds ago.
76
00:03:54,900 --> 00:03:56,099
Can we get some help?
77
00:03:56,099 --> 00:03:57,800
It'll be a minute, sweetie.
78
00:03:57,900 --> 00:04:01,199
And FYI, the sale ended last week.
79
00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:07,800
Your attention, please!
80
00:04:08,599 --> 00:04:13,099
I have a bit of a outbreak down below.
81
00:04:13,099 --> 00:04:13,900
Ew!
82
00:04:13,900 --> 00:04:17,100
And I tried on a lot of stuff
from here the other day.
83
00:04:17,100 --> 00:04:20,500
I know that we're supposed
to keep our underwear on,
84
00:04:20,500 --> 00:04:24,000
but I didn't, so, you know, FYI...
85
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:27,500
Oh, back already, that was way
less than a minute, sweetie.
86
00:04:29,899 --> 00:04:32,899
One of these camisoles was bought,
I'm guessing it was this week,
87
00:04:32,899 --> 00:04:34,500
given that it's still on display,
88
00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:37,100
by a pretty, middle-aged brunette.
89
00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:40,899
Recognize her?
90
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,600
Let's see if we can find
a receipt, shall we?
91
00:04:53,199 --> 00:04:55,699
Christa Chase. Mid-40s,
brown hair, blue eyes.
92
00:04:55,699 --> 00:04:57,399
- We need an address.
- On it.
93
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:02,300
Uh, what's with the meter maid convention?
94
00:05:02,699 --> 00:05:04,699
Captain Booty, nine o'clock.
95
00:05:07,899 --> 00:05:09,500
Seems like you have a fan club.
96
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,100
Oh, sorry, I was speaking to your ass.
97
00:05:12,100 --> 00:05:15,600
You bought me this bad boy. Remember?
98
00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:17,699
I remember all sorts of things, Jake,
99
00:05:17,699 --> 00:05:20,199
birthdays, every Top Chef winner...
100
00:05:20,199 --> 00:05:22,899
I even remember yesterday,
when you weren't my boss.
101
00:05:23,399 --> 00:05:25,300
How exactly is this gonna work?
102
00:05:25,300 --> 00:05:26,899
It's gonna work great.
103
00:05:27,199 --> 00:05:29,500
Look, we can coordinate our schedules,
104
00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:32,800
we can pick up the boys and bring them
here after school, eat together...
105
00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:34,399
Sounds pretty good, right?
106
00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:37,300
No, actually it sounds like a
stupid, evil divorce nightmare.
107
00:05:38,399 --> 00:05:39,899
Speaking of which...
108
00:05:40,500 --> 00:05:43,699
I got my papers to the
lawyers, it's official.
109
00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:47,300
Ah!
110
00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:49,800
I'll have Max get a cake.
111
00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:51,399
No, we're good. I got cronuts.
112
00:05:51,399 --> 00:05:53,699
Cronuts, everyone. Come grab a cronut.
113
00:05:54,899 --> 00:05:56,699
And share.
114
00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:59,500
Come and have a cronut,
best donut on earth, right?
115
00:06:00,899 --> 00:06:02,600
He's just the best.
116
00:06:02,699 --> 00:06:04,000
He sort of is.
117
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,800
You're being jaked, just shake it off.
118
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:10,300
Oh, Peter and Christa Chase,
421 Adlers Way, Staten Island.
119
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,100
Peter Chase?
120
00:06:21,300 --> 00:06:22,399
Yes, sir. Problem?
121
00:06:22,399 --> 00:06:25,199
Mr. Chase, where were you last
night between 8:00 and 11:00?
122
00:06:25,199 --> 00:06:28,100
Uh... I was here. Watching, uh...
123
00:06:28,699 --> 00:06:31,500
The Yankees. Beltran
went three for four, why?
124
00:06:31,500 --> 00:06:33,000
Can anyone verify that, sir?
125
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:35,000
When was the last time
you saw Mrs. Chase, sir?
126
00:06:35,199 --> 00:06:36,500
Why... wha...
127
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,500
Why're you asking me that?
128
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:44,399
Mr. Chase, we found a body
that we fear is your wife.
129
00:06:44,399 --> 00:06:47,199
You'll have to come down with us
to make a positive identification.
130
00:06:47,300 --> 00:06:49,199
Oh, no, no, no...
131
00:06:50,500 --> 00:06:51,800
Baby?
132
00:06:54,100 --> 00:06:55,800
They told me you were dead.
133
00:06:56,300 --> 00:06:57,399
What?
134
00:06:57,399 --> 00:06:59,699
Are you not married to
Christa Michelle Chase?
135
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,699
We have her living at this address.
136
00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:04,199
Not anymore, I'm Mrs. Chase now.
137
00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:07,100
I told Christa to update her records
138
00:07:07,100 --> 00:07:09,199
but she's not exactly quick on the draw.
139
00:07:09,199 --> 00:07:10,800
She's dead, sir.
140
00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:13,399
She's not my problem anymore.
141
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,899
So, Mr. Chase, when was the
last time you saw your ex-wife?
142
00:07:22,899 --> 00:07:25,199
Uh... the lawyers, few weeks ago.
143
00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:28,100
-- And this house was
the one you lived in together?
144
00:07:28,100 --> 00:07:29,800
This was my house long before Christa,
145
00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:31,699
hell if I was gonna lose
it in the settlement.
146
00:07:31,699 --> 00:07:34,600
Bad enough I got to pay her bills,
but even that wasn't enough.
147
00:07:34,699 --> 00:07:36,100
She asked you for more money?
148
00:07:36,100 --> 00:07:40,800
She sued, to void an already signed
separation of assets agreement.
149
00:07:40,899 --> 00:07:42,100
I own a fleet of trucks.
150
00:07:42,100 --> 00:07:43,600
What, she deserves to be co-owner
151
00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:46,699
just 'cause I got myself a
little extra-curricular?
152
00:07:48,199 --> 00:07:50,100
It's all new furniture and linen.
153
00:07:50,500 --> 00:07:55,300
I ha start over. I mean, when it comes
to style, Christa was a lost puppy.
154
00:07:55,899 --> 00:07:58,000
Oh, thank God Peter found you.
155
00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,899
I sort of have a sixth sense.
156
00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:02,699
I think we only
have five for a reason.
157
00:08:05,399 --> 00:08:09,500
So, what were you two
honeymooners up to last night?
158
00:08:10,100 --> 00:08:12,500
Just cuddling, you know, watching TV.
159
00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:14,100
Romantic Yankees game?
160
00:08:14,100 --> 00:08:16,899
Like Peter
would watch the Yankees.
161
00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:24,100
Peter Chase was clearly a Mets fan.
162
00:08:24,100 --> 00:08:26,100
And the Mets didn't play
last night, the Yankees did.
163
00:08:26,100 --> 00:08:28,500
Must have been, uh, first
thing that popped in his mind.
164
00:08:28,500 --> 00:08:31,000
Lying about your alibi,
that's never a good thing.
165
00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:33,200
- So, which one do you like?
- Both have motive.
166
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:35,000
He was afraid of losing half his business.
167
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,299
And she was afraid of losing
the zillion bucks' worth
168
00:08:37,299 --> 00:08:39,200
of bougie house crap she just bought.
169
00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:41,600
- Visible scratch marks?
- Long sleeves, couldn't see.
170
00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:43,399
But did you catch her broken nail?
171
00:08:43,399 --> 00:08:44,600
Could've happened last week.
172
00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:46,399
Skinny little trophy wives?
173
00:08:46,399 --> 00:08:48,600
So much as chip a nail, they book a mani.
174
00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:52,399
Sorry, thought I heard
European-style frothing?
175
00:08:52,399 --> 00:08:53,799
Voila!
176
00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:57,000
- Oh!
- My contribution to precinct culture.
177
00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,899
They had this exact model at the
cafe where I learned how to barista.
178
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:01,799
- Thanks, Mike.
- My name's Max.
179
00:09:02,399 --> 00:09:05,700
I love you so much!
180
00:09:06,799 --> 00:09:08,100
Not "love" love.
181
00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:10,399
- Adore.
- Just getting worse.
182
00:09:10,399 --> 00:09:11,399
J'adore?
183
00:09:11,399 --> 00:09:15,000
E-ZPass serial numbers for
Chase and trophy wife's cars.
184
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:17,299
If either of them drove into the
city last night it'll show up.
185
00:09:17,299 --> 00:09:18,100
Back at ya.
186
00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:21,200
Looked at the post office. Christa had
her mail forwarded to this address.
187
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:23,899
- Can I touch it?
- No.
188
00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:28,899
It's not much, but
she sure made it look nice.
189
00:09:30,100 --> 00:09:32,100
I asked her if she could fix up my unit.
190
00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:39,000
Hmm, it looks like she
stole your CD collection.
191
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,100
Oh, my God!
192
00:09:40,100 --> 00:09:42,500
- In eighth grade I saw the Like A Virgin tour.
- I know.
193
00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:44,600
Beastie Boys opened and Andrew Cohen
194
00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:46,899
- grabbed my left boob.
- Grabbed your left boob. I know.
195
00:09:50,700 --> 00:09:52,500
She didn't have anything special to wear.
196
00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:55,100
That's what the camisole was about,
197
00:09:55,399 --> 00:09:56,600
starting over.
198
00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:58,700
Divorce hit her hard. She was so lonely.
199
00:09:58,799 --> 00:10:01,899
Most Saturday nights she was
home binge-watching Top Chef.
200
00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:04,500
Her ex-husband was the
outgoing one, she said,
201
00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:06,200
so she didn't have a social life.
202
00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:08,200
Looks like she was trying to fix that.
203
00:10:09,500 --> 00:10:11,100
Passionpairing.com?
204
00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:21,799
Um, excuse me, is it all right if the
grandmother brings in Christa's daughter
205
00:10:21,899 --> 00:10:24,500
- to get a few things?
- Yes, yes, please. Come in.
206
00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:25,899
Of course.
207
00:10:26,399 --> 00:10:28,000
I'm so sorry, honey.
208
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:32,799
I'm gonna find out what
happened to your mom. I promise.
209
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,799
Son of a bitch didn't even
mention they had a daughter,
210
00:10:39,799 --> 00:10:41,500
and now he's all she's got left.
211
00:10:41,500 --> 00:10:44,100
Probably why Christa was getting
out there. Looking for a better man.
212
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:46,600
There you go, passionpairing.com.
213
00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:49,299
"Your soul mate could
be just one click away."
214
00:10:49,799 --> 00:10:52,200
Well, let's see if Christa found hers.
215
00:10:52,299 --> 00:10:53,899
Laura! Billy!
216
00:10:55,500 --> 00:10:56,899
Workin'!
217
00:10:57,399 --> 00:10:58,600
Captain?
218
00:10:59,299 --> 00:11:00,500
Your leads sucked.
219
00:11:00,500 --> 00:11:02,899
The ex-husband's car never
left Staten Island last night.
220
00:11:02,899 --> 00:11:06,299
As confirmed by E-ZPass
and cell GPS tracking,
221
00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:07,600
same with the trophy wife.
222
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:10,000
So, if they were home, why
lie about watching baseball?
223
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,299
May I present to you...
224
00:11:11,299 --> 00:11:13,299
Chase's pay-per-view
invoice from last night.
225
00:11:14,899 --> 00:11:16,100
22 Hump Street?
226
00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:17,899
22 "Hump" Street?
227
00:11:17,899 --> 00:11:19,899
That's why you lie about watching baseball.
228
00:11:19,899 --> 00:11:21,399
All right, any other bad news turds?
229
00:11:21,399 --> 00:11:22,899
- Well, there's...
- Just one!
230
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:26,100
Spoke with forensics. The skin
fragments found under our vic's nails
231
00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:28,000
didn't trigger a match in the DNA database.
232
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,399
Assailant is definitely
somebody without a record.
233
00:11:30,399 --> 00:11:31,700
That's a needle in a haystack.
234
00:11:31,700 --> 00:11:33,799
Maybe not. New lead. Two weeks ago...
235
00:11:33,899 --> 00:11:35,399
Christa filed a
police report for assault.
236
00:11:35,399 --> 00:11:37,600
Charges were dropped, but the
alleged perp was another woman...
237
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:39,600
at her yoga studio.
238
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:40,700
Check it out.
239
00:11:43,100 --> 00:11:44,899
We are warriors.
240
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:47,000
We are goddesses.
241
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:50,200
Majestic pigeon, on my count.
242
00:11:50,500 --> 00:11:51,899
One...
243
00:11:51,899 --> 00:11:53,399
Two...
244
00:11:53,399 --> 00:11:54,899
And pigeon.
245
00:11:54,899 --> 00:11:56,299
If you don't mind, Ms. Pulaski,
246
00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:59,600
I think it would be better if we step
outside to have this conversation?
247
00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:01,200
Actually, I do mind.
248
00:12:02,299 --> 00:12:05,399
I already paid 40 bucks for this session.
249
00:12:05,399 --> 00:12:06,799
40 bucks?
250
00:12:06,799 --> 00:12:08,200
I've got a tire in my backyard
251
00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:09,700
you could swing on for free.
252
00:12:09,700 --> 00:12:11,000
You get what you pay for.
253
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:12,600
All right, moving on.
254
00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:14,200
Where were you last night?
255
00:12:14,299 --> 00:12:17,100
My daughter's gymnastics meet in Nyack.
256
00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:20,200
Not killing Christa Chase,
obviously, that's why you're here.
257
00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:22,399
Look, can you...
258
00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:26,600
explain the assault charge
that Christa filed against you?
259
00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:28,399
Her aerial band came untied,
260
00:12:28,399 --> 00:12:30,700
she face-planted on the floor like an idiot,
261
00:12:30,700 --> 00:12:33,000
and she blamed me as
if I could've done that.
262
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:35,500
Anyway, she dropped the
charges. She kept coming to class.
263
00:12:35,500 --> 00:12:37,299
Maybe she felt intimidated by you.
264
00:12:37,299 --> 00:12:39,200
More like she needed to work out.
265
00:12:39,700 --> 00:12:41,399
You know, she really let herself go.
266
00:12:41,399 --> 00:12:42,399
All right, look.
267
00:12:42,399 --> 00:12:45,399
Something obviously went down
between you two. What exactly?
268
00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:48,799
We can move this
conversation in the precinct.
269
00:12:49,399 --> 00:12:51,299
Charlie Carazzo.
270
00:12:51,700 --> 00:12:53,899
My chooch ex-boyfriend, okay?
271
00:12:53,899 --> 00:12:55,299
The slut was seeing him.
272
00:12:55,299 --> 00:12:59,000
Can the woman in jeans
please evacuate the premises?
273
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,100
Namaste.
274
00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:02,500
Your body
wringing out, like a wet cloth...
275
00:13:05,700 --> 00:13:07,299
How'd that happen?
276
00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:13,200
Charlie Carazzo, VP pre-owned
sales, Atlantic Auto.
277
00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:15,600
One prior. Public intoxication and assault.
278
00:13:15,899 --> 00:13:19,200
Booze, plus a temper?
Likely profile of our killer.
279
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:22,000
It's a hybrid, so it's, uh,
it's good for the environment.
280
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:24,100
And that? That'll buff right out.
281
00:13:25,299 --> 00:13:27,000
Oh, boy. Cop!
282
00:13:27,399 --> 00:13:29,100
Hey! Hey!
283
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:31,200
Hey, Carazzo! Where you going?
284
00:13:32,899 --> 00:13:34,100
Quick test drive!
285
00:13:38,299 --> 00:13:40,500
How do I turn the car on without a key?
286
00:13:42,899 --> 00:13:44,299
God, I'm old.
287
00:13:49,899 --> 00:13:51,399
We just want to talk to you, man!
288
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:06,100
The brakes are spongy, the throttle sticks.
289
00:14:06,100 --> 00:14:07,299
Car's a lemon.
290
00:14:07,299 --> 00:14:09,000
We'll discuss it downtown.
291
00:14:13,299 --> 00:14:14,899
I know... I
know what it looked like...
292
00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:18,600
But I swear, I swear to God
293
00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:21,700
that, that it was an accident, I swear it.
294
00:14:22,100 --> 00:14:23,899
Walk me through what went down.
295
00:14:23,899 --> 00:14:25,799
All right, um...
296
00:14:25,799 --> 00:14:27,399
You're doing all right.
297
00:14:27,399 --> 00:14:29,000
Well, um...
298
00:14:29,299 --> 00:14:31,600
First of all I was pretty liquored-up...
299
00:14:32,500 --> 00:14:35,399
And I know, I know that's not
an excuse or anything, but...
300
00:14:35,700 --> 00:14:38,700
Anyway, I saw on the Internet...
301
00:14:38,700 --> 00:14:40,299
Take your time.
302
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:43,600
On the Internet that if you shove
a firecracker up a squirrel's ass,
303
00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:45,100
it'll take off.
304
00:14:45,899 --> 00:14:47,100
Huh?
305
00:14:47,100 --> 00:14:48,600
Like...
306
00:14:49,100 --> 00:14:50,000
Airborne.
307
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,000
- Pfft!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a second.
308
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:54,200
So you're confessing...
309
00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:57,500
to killing a squirrel last night?
310
00:14:57,500 --> 00:14:59,200
He died?
311
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,100
He died!
312
00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:04,799
Oh, this is terrible! Oh, this is horrible!
313
00:15:05,399 --> 00:15:09,000
That sick idiot had two
women fighting over him?
314
00:15:09,399 --> 00:15:12,000
Oh God! Oh, I can't wait to start dating.
315
00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:15,799
Dudes! Pizza!
316
00:15:15,799 --> 00:15:17,200
Pizza! Pizza!
317
00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:18,700
Got it? Come here, guys.
318
00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:21,000
Pay the toll. Pay the toll. Pay the toll.
319
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,100
Thanks for dinner.
320
00:15:22,100 --> 00:15:23,899
It was the least I could
do for the warm welcome.
321
00:15:23,899 --> 00:15:25,100
And the sitter fell through?
322
00:15:25,100 --> 00:15:27,100
I might have neglected to find one, yeah.
323
00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:28,200
Okay if you're on kid duty tonight?
324
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:29,799
- I'm on kid duty every night.
- Great.
325
00:15:29,899 --> 00:15:33,799
Because I am gonna grab a beer with
everyone on the floor, one-on-one,
326
00:15:33,799 --> 00:15:36,600
and your partner is up first tonight.
327
00:15:38,899 --> 00:15:40,700
What? I'll spring for a
sitter if you need one.
328
00:15:40,700 --> 00:15:42,000
Oh, lucky me!
329
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:44,899
You know how hard it is to find a
decent, affordable sitter in this city,
330
00:15:44,899 --> 00:15:46,700
let alone at the last minute?
331
00:15:46,700 --> 00:15:47,700
Noted.
332
00:15:47,700 --> 00:15:49,000
Okay, so...
333
00:15:49,799 --> 00:15:52,100
- Who do we like in the case?
- Not the ex, not the new wife.
334
00:15:52,100 --> 00:15:54,000
Not the yoga lady with the broken nose,
335
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,799
not her squirrel killing ex.
336
00:15:55,799 --> 00:15:58,100
The best lead in front of
us is the dating website.
337
00:15:58,100 --> 00:15:59,299
You figure out who she dated?
338
00:15:59,299 --> 00:16:00,600
Yeah, that's not happening.
339
00:16:01,700 --> 00:16:03,799
Um, at least not today.
340
00:16:03,799 --> 00:16:05,600
The corporate headquarters is in Mumbai,
341
00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:07,399
general counsel was Ronald McRude.
342
00:16:07,399 --> 00:16:09,000
I kicked it up to the DA's office.
343
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:12,000
Why are you on the floor, merl?
344
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:14,700
- My name is Max.
- Uh, not to kill the joy, but...
345
00:16:14,700 --> 00:16:16,200
Compelling a foreign corporation
346
00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:17,600
into breaking terms of service
347
00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:20,000
and revealing the identity of its members?
348
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,600
Not exactly a lay-up.
349
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:23,200
That's why I'm joining the site.
350
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:25,600
- I'm sorry, what?
- passionpairing.com.
351
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:29,299
If I create a profile similar enough
to Christa, with a little luck,
352
00:16:29,299 --> 00:16:31,600
the killer just might ask me out.
353
00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:35,500
"Freshly divorced. Dipping
a toe into the dating pool.
354
00:16:35,500 --> 00:16:39,000
"Style is shabby-chic,
emphasis on the shabby.
355
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:42,500
"Lover of early Madonna and late reality TV.
356
00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:44,399
"Infrequent shopper,
357
00:16:44,399 --> 00:16:46,899
"shameless homebody..."
358
00:16:48,399 --> 00:16:50,399
- You forgot "alluring..."
- Oh, God...
359
00:16:50,399 --> 00:16:53,600
"Powerful, intelligent, beautiful."
360
00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:55,000
This isn't me.
361
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,799
- It's Christa.
- Huh.
362
00:16:56,799 --> 00:17:00,100
You two would've gotten
along, she sounds amazing.
363
00:17:00,100 --> 00:17:01,600
Tell her to give me a call.
364
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:02,700
Daddy!
365
00:17:02,700 --> 00:17:04,700
"Freshly divorced,
366
00:17:04,700 --> 00:17:06,400
"attractive..."
367
00:17:06,500 --> 00:17:08,299
"Beautiful" is better.
368
00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:09,400
Excuse me?
369
00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:10,599
"Attractive"?
370
00:17:10,599 --> 00:17:13,099
Who do you want to date? My Uncle Melvin?
371
00:17:13,099 --> 00:17:14,400
I'd have to see a photo.
372
00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:15,900
Your approach is all wrong.
373
00:17:15,900 --> 00:17:17,700
Did you just crawl from under a rock?
374
00:17:17,700 --> 00:17:19,000
Metaphorically.
375
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:23,700
Passionpairing's a rad site because it's
anonymous and therefore promotes honesty.
376
00:17:23,700 --> 00:17:25,099
Don't beat around the bush.
377
00:17:25,099 --> 00:17:27,099
I'm a hot as hell woman looking to get some.
378
00:17:27,099 --> 00:17:28,200
Period.
379
00:17:28,299 --> 00:17:29,599
I like you.
380
00:17:29,599 --> 00:17:31,299
But this isn't for me.
381
00:17:31,299 --> 00:17:33,500
Oh! I'll get on first.
382
00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:34,799
Tie your shoe, Peyton Manning,
383
00:17:34,799 --> 00:17:36,700
you don't want to break your nose.
384
00:17:36,700 --> 00:17:37,900
Nicholas,
385
00:17:37,900 --> 00:17:39,799
please move away from the criminal.
386
00:17:39,799 --> 00:17:42,099
If staging a non-violent protest against
387
00:17:42,099 --> 00:17:45,500
the most unconscionable slumlord of the
lower east side makes me a criminal,
388
00:17:45,500 --> 00:17:47,000
guilty as charged!
389
00:17:47,099 --> 00:17:48,299
Listen up, pigs!
390
00:17:48,299 --> 00:17:50,500
No justice, no peace!
391
00:17:50,500 --> 00:17:52,099
Boys, come in here.
392
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:56,000
Click "multiplier".
393
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:57,099
It expands the reach.
394
00:17:57,099 --> 00:17:59,400
- And use caps, helps you get noticed.
395
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:00,900
And bring your gun on these dates,
396
00:18:00,900 --> 00:18:02,700
plenty of sick pervs out there.
397
00:18:14,099 --> 00:18:15,500
Thank you.
398
00:18:16,099 --> 00:18:17,700
I know you don't like me.
399
00:18:17,700 --> 00:18:20,200
- I don't have a problem...
- That's all right. Why should you?
400
00:18:20,299 --> 00:18:22,500
I hurt your partner. But...
401
00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:25,900
Here we are. And, man-to-man,
there are two sides to every story.
402
00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:27,799
I respect you as a cop.
403
00:18:27,799 --> 00:18:31,000
And I just hope some day you'll
end up respecting me too. Cheers.
404
00:18:34,500 --> 00:18:36,099
"Hurt" my partner?
405
00:18:36,500 --> 00:18:38,299
That's a bit of an understatement,
don't you think?
406
00:18:38,299 --> 00:18:39,599
Fair enough.
407
00:18:39,900 --> 00:18:42,900
I had the perfect woman and I
took her for granted. I blew it.
408
00:18:42,900 --> 00:18:44,400
But...
409
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:47,599
Was I bad enough to get
kicked to the curb for good?
410
00:18:47,599 --> 00:18:49,599
- Is that rhetorical?
- No, no, not really.
411
00:18:49,599 --> 00:18:50,799
You know her better than anyone.
412
00:18:50,799 --> 00:18:52,200
You know her better than me, even.
413
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:53,700
- Uh...
- I'm, I'm genuinely curious.
414
00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:56,099
In your opinion, is
there a path back for me?
415
00:18:56,099 --> 00:18:59,099
Captain, I thought this was
gonna be a work thing...
416
00:18:59,099 --> 00:19:00,400
- No. It is, it is.
- I don't wanna get...
417
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:01,900
Just throw me a bone, Billy. Come on.
418
00:19:01,900 --> 00:19:03,799
Does she ever even talk about me?
419
00:19:04,099 --> 00:19:06,200
Oh, she talks about you. Plenty.
420
00:19:06,299 --> 00:19:09,099
- That's good. That's good.
- You haven't heard what she says.
421
00:19:09,500 --> 00:19:10,799
Hey, guys.
422
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:13,599
We're looking for two
to play booze foosball.
423
00:19:13,599 --> 00:19:15,099
- What do you say?
- Uh, actually...
424
00:19:15,099 --> 00:19:16,500
Yeah. Sure, let's do it.
425
00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:18,900
Booze foosball. I like it.
Never heard it put that way.
426
00:19:18,900 --> 00:19:20,500
- Hey, I'm Jake.
- Jenny.
427
00:19:23,599 --> 00:19:25,000
There you go, you gotta drink.
428
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,700
We're Germany, you're Brazil.
429
00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:29,299
You guys gotta drink! You guys gotta drink!
430
00:19:29,299 --> 00:19:30,599
- Here you go.
- Cheers!
431
00:19:32,099 --> 00:19:33,900
That's called a goal!
432
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,700
- Shots! Yeah!
- Yeah, nice!
433
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:40,200
What you on your phone for, man?
Come on, get off your phone.
434
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:48,400
You didn't text me back last night.
435
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:51,099
Uh... battery died.
436
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:53,599
Really? Big night?
437
00:19:54,099 --> 00:19:56,700
Trying to hang with Captain Kamikaze, yeah.
438
00:19:56,700 --> 00:19:58,299
Morning, people.
439
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:01,700
You forgot to put in the grounds.
440
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:03,799
Coffee's for the birds, I only drink froth.
441
00:20:03,799 --> 00:20:06,400
Okay, so, we gonna catch a bad guy today?
442
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:07,900
Hopefully, tonight.
443
00:20:07,900 --> 00:20:10,700
Fake Laura has 12 dates.
444
00:20:10,700 --> 00:20:12,500
- How's that gonna work?
- I've got a plan.
445
00:20:12,500 --> 00:20:14,799
It won't take more than 60
seconds to roll someone up.
446
00:20:14,799 --> 00:20:16,000
That I'd like to see.
447
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:17,400
I'll come, watch your back.
448
00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:20,700
I don't need my ex watching me
slay dragons in a singles bar.
449
00:20:20,700 --> 00:20:22,200
You're babysitting.
450
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:23,400
Billy's got my back.
451
00:20:24,700 --> 00:20:27,599
Hey, I just wanted you to know the bases
have changed since you last played ball.
452
00:20:27,599 --> 00:20:29,599
Um, so first...
453
00:20:29,599 --> 00:20:31,099
Second...
454
00:20:31,099 --> 00:20:32,900
What the hell's third?
455
00:20:32,900 --> 00:20:34,799
Oh, my God!
456
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,599
Back to it.
457
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:51,400
This music makes me want to kill myself.
458
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,500
Yikes!
459
00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:57,099
So this is what the rest of
my life is gonna look like?
460
00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,299
Welcome to my world. All right, game time.
461
00:21:00,299 --> 00:21:02,700
Can we, um, get a little
cleavage on, please?
462
00:21:02,700 --> 00:21:03,799
Oh, God...
463
00:21:03,799 --> 00:21:05,200
Yeah. Mmm-hmm.
464
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:09,099
There you go. Fresh air, ladies.
465
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:11,000
And it wouldn't hurt to smile.
466
00:21:11,299 --> 00:21:12,700
Good, nice.
467
00:21:12,700 --> 00:21:14,299
I'm exhausted already.
468
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:17,400
Laura?
469
00:21:17,500 --> 00:21:18,900
Nope.
470
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:21,400
What was that?
471
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:24,900
No way that twerp has the
cojones to strangle anyone.
472
00:21:24,900 --> 00:21:25,900
Okay, that was cold.
473
00:21:25,900 --> 00:21:28,000
You could've at least let
the guy buy you a drink.
474
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:29,799
Uh, saved him 10 bucks.
475
00:21:30,099 --> 00:21:31,500
Try 20.
476
00:21:31,500 --> 00:21:33,000
The world's gone insane.
477
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:34,099
So, what's the plan?
478
00:21:34,099 --> 00:21:36,000
Let's see if there's a hothead in the bunch.
479
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,400
And how are we gonna do that?
480
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:38,700
Lean and mean.
481
00:21:39,900 --> 00:21:40,900
All right.
482
00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:42,500
Let's catch a killer.
483
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:50,299
Backgammon?
484
00:21:50,299 --> 00:21:51,799
I hate backgammon.
485
00:21:51,799 --> 00:21:54,000
The Jets? Are you kidding me?
486
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,400
The Giants? Are you kidding me?
487
00:22:03,700 --> 00:22:05,000
Wow.
488
00:22:06,099 --> 00:22:07,099
Oh!
489
00:22:07,099 --> 00:22:09,799
These heels are designed for two dates, max.
490
00:22:09,799 --> 00:22:11,700
Not 12 in one night.
491
00:22:11,700 --> 00:22:14,099
I hate dating.
492
00:22:14,099 --> 00:22:16,299
Slutty heels don't come with orthotics.
493
00:22:16,299 --> 00:22:18,200
- So where're we at?
- Oh.
494
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:19,500
Zero for eight.
495
00:22:19,500 --> 00:22:21,500
Yeah, I heard everything
and didn't pick up Jack.
496
00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:24,299
- Other than you're a seriously rude date.
- Exactly.
497
00:22:24,299 --> 00:22:27,000
Chances are the killer has anger issues.
498
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:28,799
That's why I was trying to get their goat.
499
00:22:28,799 --> 00:22:31,200
Say the wrong thing so
they'll fly off the handle.
500
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:32,799
Dates one, three and four
501
00:22:32,799 --> 00:22:34,900
just laughed off whatever I dished.
502
00:22:34,900 --> 00:22:37,299
Zen factor high, so kill factor low.
503
00:22:37,299 --> 00:22:40,299
Date two, Mr. runny nose, had a temper,
504
00:22:40,299 --> 00:22:42,799
but is too allergic to smell
cologne, much less wear it.
505
00:22:42,799 --> 00:22:44,799
Date five also got pissy.
506
00:22:44,799 --> 00:22:47,099
But he was nursing a cold
sore that had to have been
507
00:22:47,099 --> 00:22:49,099
huge two nights back.
508
00:22:49,099 --> 00:22:51,500
You don't go out with Mount
Kilimanjaro on your lip.
509
00:22:52,599 --> 00:22:55,000
- Seriously?
- Easy, coug.
510
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:57,000
You couldn't have spent
that much on that dress.
511
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:59,099
- "Coug"?
- Excuse me...
512
00:22:59,700 --> 00:23:01,200
That was incredibly rude.
513
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:02,700
And her dress needs dry cleaning,
514
00:23:02,700 --> 00:23:04,299
I think you should cover that.
515
00:23:06,500 --> 00:23:08,000
Call my secretary.
516
00:23:11,099 --> 00:23:13,599
That was heroic. Thanks.
517
00:23:13,700 --> 00:23:16,299
You're welcome. And you're Laura?
518
00:23:16,599 --> 00:23:17,799
I'm Kevin,
519
00:23:17,900 --> 00:23:19,700
your passion pairing.
520
00:23:19,700 --> 00:23:21,099
Kevin, right.
521
00:23:21,099 --> 00:23:22,500
- Hi.
- Hi.
522
00:23:22,599 --> 00:23:24,700
You know what? That rescue deserves a hug.
523
00:23:24,700 --> 00:23:26,799
Oh, okay, hug it is.
524
00:23:27,299 --> 00:23:28,500
Wow.
525
00:23:29,599 --> 00:23:31,099
Distinctive cologne.
526
00:23:32,099 --> 00:23:34,200
- It's too much?
- Way too much.
527
00:23:34,700 --> 00:23:35,700
That's kinda harsh.
528
00:23:35,700 --> 00:23:37,500
- The truth often is.
- What?
529
00:23:38,099 --> 00:23:41,099
You know what? I'm so glad
that you reached out to me.
530
00:23:41,099 --> 00:23:45,299
I saw your profile and I was gonna
ask you out two nights ago,
531
00:23:45,500 --> 00:23:47,099
but I was a nervous Nellie.
532
00:23:47,500 --> 00:23:49,099
You probably weren't free.
533
00:23:49,099 --> 00:23:50,900
I wasn't, actually.
534
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:53,400
I'm just gonna...
535
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:55,099
bathroom.
536
00:23:55,799 --> 00:23:57,000
We got a live one here.
537
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:58,700
Same cologne, easily riled.
538
00:23:58,700 --> 00:24:00,000
I'm gonna go get him.
539
00:24:11,700 --> 00:24:12,900
Damn!
540
00:24:12,900 --> 00:24:15,599
- Pardon me. He's gone.
- Oh, damn it!
541
00:24:15,599 --> 00:24:17,400
You must be Laura.
542
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:19,299
Sorry, I met someone.
543
00:24:20,799 --> 00:24:22,200
Okay, then.
544
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:29,900
You are still here.
545
00:24:29,900 --> 00:24:31,599
Don't you have anyone to post bail?
546
00:24:31,599 --> 00:24:33,400
Bail is for sellouts!
547
00:24:33,700 --> 00:24:36,599
The point of civil
disobedience is to be heard.
548
00:24:36,599 --> 00:24:39,200
For once in my life he's
gonna have to listen.
549
00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:40,400
I'm not a little girl anymore
550
00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:42,700
who he can placate with material goods.
551
00:24:42,799 --> 00:24:44,400
The slumlord's your father?
552
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:46,000
You can't pick your parents.
553
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:49,200
- What's your name?
- Sammi.
554
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:50,700
Sammi, I need your help.
555
00:24:50,700 --> 00:24:52,299
That's ironic.
556
00:24:52,599 --> 00:24:56,500
The man locks me behind
bars and now wants my help.
557
00:24:56,900 --> 00:24:58,700
Do I look like "the man"?
558
00:24:59,900 --> 00:25:00,799
What?
559
00:25:00,799 --> 00:25:03,500
I met a guy on passionpairing and
I need to get in touch with him.
560
00:25:03,500 --> 00:25:04,900
Don't you have friends?
561
00:25:05,299 --> 00:25:06,900
Click through his profile.
562
00:25:06,900 --> 00:25:09,700
There's a button where you can
send an emoticon and message.
563
00:25:09,700 --> 00:25:12,099
Naughtier it is, more likely he'll respond.
564
00:25:12,099 --> 00:25:15,400
There's an emoji of wet ruby red lips.
565
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:17,200
Always works for me.
566
00:25:26,700 --> 00:25:28,200
Where the hell is this guy?
567
00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:29,500
Chill.
568
00:25:29,500 --> 00:25:31,299
We agreed on 10:30.
569
00:25:31,299 --> 00:25:32,500
He's got one minute.
570
00:25:32,500 --> 00:25:34,299
Yeah, but you're a sitting
duck. I don't like it.
571
00:25:34,299 --> 00:25:35,599
Spoiler alert.
572
00:25:35,599 --> 00:25:38,599
If he tries to strangle me, I'm
gonna shoot him in the testicles.
573
00:25:47,799 --> 00:25:49,500
Thank you for coming back out.
574
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:58,200
- I'm sorry I left earlier.
- Yeah, you should be.
575
00:25:58,200 --> 00:25:59,700
You should be nicer!
576
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:03,700
I'm sorry.
577
00:26:04,900 --> 00:26:06,400
You just...
578
00:26:07,500 --> 00:26:09,400
remind me of a woman.
579
00:26:10,500 --> 00:26:12,099
It didn't end well.
580
00:26:14,799 --> 00:26:16,500
What happened, Kevin?
581
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:20,900
We went out a few times.
582
00:26:21,500 --> 00:26:23,799
And I thought we really hit it off.
583
00:26:24,500 --> 00:26:26,000
Then...
584
00:26:26,099 --> 00:26:27,299
Monday...
585
00:26:28,700 --> 00:26:30,299
That was gonna be
586
00:26:30,299 --> 00:26:33,400
the night, until she...
587
00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:34,700
Freeze, jackass!
588
00:26:34,700 --> 00:26:36,500
- Come on! On your knees!
- Okay! Okay! Okay!
589
00:26:36,500 --> 00:26:38,299
- Get down! Don't move!
- Okay! Okay! Okay!
590
00:26:38,299 --> 00:26:39,400
Just take my wallet!
591
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:41,700
Please, just don't hurt us! Please!
592
00:26:41,700 --> 00:26:43,900
He's a cop, Kevin.
593
00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:45,500
So am I.
594
00:26:46,900 --> 00:26:48,599
So this isn't a date?
595
00:26:48,599 --> 00:26:50,900
I'm sorry, we're investigating a murder.
596
00:26:51,299 --> 00:26:53,799
- Christa Chase.
- Christa's...
597
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:56,000
Oh, my God!
598
00:26:56,500 --> 00:26:57,900
Thank you.
599
00:26:57,900 --> 00:26:59,900
Okay, so what the
hell happened Monday night?
600
00:26:59,900 --> 00:27:01,099
She blew me off.
601
00:27:01,099 --> 00:27:05,000
She texted me at the last minute
that she couldn't make it.
602
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:07,400
- See?
- Do you have an alibi, Kevin?
603
00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:09,400
Can you prove that you weren't with Christa?
604
00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:12,099
Yes, I ended up seeing
a boy band in Brooklyn.
605
00:27:12,099 --> 00:27:13,200
Hmm, awesome.
606
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:15,299
I posted some sick pics I can show you.
607
00:27:15,299 --> 00:27:17,200
I can't believe you weren't a date.
608
00:27:17,599 --> 00:27:20,599
Laura, my people wrote the Kama-Sutra.
609
00:27:21,299 --> 00:27:23,400
You're a nice guy, Kevin.
610
00:27:23,799 --> 00:27:25,099
What you said to that jerk...
611
00:27:25,099 --> 00:27:26,900
No, that wasn't real.
612
00:27:26,900 --> 00:27:29,500
- What do you mean?
- The drink spilling, it was staged.
613
00:27:29,799 --> 00:27:31,200
I hired a wingman.
614
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:33,099
- Excuse me?
- The guy, who spilled on you,
615
00:27:33,099 --> 00:27:34,700
he was, um...
616
00:27:34,700 --> 00:27:36,299
a pro.
617
00:27:36,299 --> 00:27:38,099
I pay him 3 grand a month to pick my dates,
618
00:27:38,099 --> 00:27:40,299
my clothes, even my cologne.
619
00:27:40,700 --> 00:27:42,400
Did your wingman pick out Christa?
620
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:43,700
Christa, Laura...
621
00:27:43,700 --> 00:27:45,700
His specialty is seducing dwarfs.
622
00:27:45,700 --> 00:27:47,599
Dwarfs? I'm 5'8".
623
00:27:47,700 --> 00:27:49,400
"Divorced women alone and ready to..."
624
00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:50,700
Oh...
625
00:27:50,700 --> 00:27:52,200
I won't say the last part.
626
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:53,599
Excuse me.
627
00:27:53,599 --> 00:27:55,099
I just threw up in my mouth.
628
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:56,500
I know it's crass,
629
00:27:56,500 --> 00:27:59,400
but he says he can bed any dwarf he wants.
630
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:01,099
That no one has ever turned him down.
631
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:03,799
I got a feeling Christa did.
632
00:28:12,900 --> 00:28:14,700
Walk of shame right into work?
633
00:28:14,799 --> 00:28:16,900
Back in the saddle pretty fast.
634
00:28:16,900 --> 00:28:19,299
Twelve saddles. We filmed the whole thing.
635
00:28:19,599 --> 00:28:22,599
You could watch it on jakeisanidiot.porn.
636
00:28:22,599 --> 00:28:25,900
We've been up all night pulling
intel on our newest suspect.
637
00:28:26,500 --> 00:28:28,900
Michael Devlin aka winner wingman.
638
00:28:29,299 --> 00:28:31,200
Who's ready to crush it in dwarf land?
639
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:35,400
In one week, I can teach any
man to get any dwarf in the sack.
640
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:37,599
- What's a dwarf?
- Sensitive subject.
641
00:28:37,599 --> 00:28:41,400
If she did her hair up nice, put on a new
blouse she picked up at the mom store?
642
00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:42,900
Ignore.
643
00:28:42,900 --> 00:28:46,000
We want our dwarf
self-conscious and insecure.
644
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:47,500
He's the antichrist.
645
00:28:47,500 --> 00:28:50,299
Which is why I can see you
wanting to pin a homicide on him.
646
00:28:50,299 --> 00:28:51,700
It lines up.
647
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:53,599
He had access to her profile,
648
00:28:53,599 --> 00:28:55,500
he picked out Christa for Kevin.
649
00:28:55,500 --> 00:28:58,200
If he went after her and she resisted...
650
00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:01,200
Jake, I am telling you,
I feel this one in my gut.
651
00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:03,599
I'm not sure gut's enough
to pick the guy up.
652
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:12,000
Scroll down.
653
00:29:12,500 --> 00:29:13,900
That's interesting.
654
00:29:13,900 --> 00:29:16,700
- "Burn in hell."
Submitted by scarredforever.
655
00:29:21,099 --> 00:29:22,599
Okay, wait, you're making
a few assumptions here.
656
00:29:22,599 --> 00:29:24,200
I mean, scarredforever could be a dude.
657
00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:25,700
It could be Kevin for all we know.
658
00:29:25,700 --> 00:29:27,599
Doesn't sound like a dude to me.
659
00:29:29,900 --> 00:29:31,200
So...
660
00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:34,099
You're gonna sit here
and wait for a response?
661
00:29:34,799 --> 00:29:35,799
This is the Internet, Laura.
662
00:29:35,799 --> 00:29:38,200
It's a comment. You don't... it...
663
00:29:38,700 --> 00:29:40,400
All right, I'm gonna go get some coffee.
664
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:42,099
Let me know if you want something.
665
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:48,900
- Start where you're comfortable.
- Uh...
666
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:51,799
I'd been on three, four dates
with one of his clients.
667
00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:53,599
Sweet man.
668
00:29:53,599 --> 00:29:55,599
A little boring.
669
00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:59,200
So, when Michael reached out,
I suppose I was flattered.
670
00:29:59,500 --> 00:30:01,099
He was so handsome.
671
00:30:01,599 --> 00:30:03,099
Young...
672
00:30:03,099 --> 00:30:05,500
I couldn't believe he wanted to be with me.
673
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:07,500
Jenny, what happened with Michael
674
00:30:07,500 --> 00:30:09,400
when you finally got together?
675
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:14,700
We met at a hotel bar and he
bought me one quick drink,
676
00:30:14,700 --> 00:30:17,000
and he took me upstairs.
677
00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:20,599
There was just something
about him, you know?
678
00:30:21,599 --> 00:30:24,400
His casual assumption that
we were sleeping together.
679
00:30:24,900 --> 00:30:27,000
It just rubbed me the wrong way.
680
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:28,900
Did you go home?
681
00:30:30,700 --> 00:30:32,500
He slapped me.
682
00:30:35,299 --> 00:30:37,400
He threw me on the bed...
683
00:30:39,299 --> 00:30:43,500
He said that middle-aged bitches
can't afford to be teases.
684
00:30:45,500 --> 00:30:47,799
I was so scared.
685
00:30:50,299 --> 00:30:52,500
So I just let him have me.
686
00:30:58,900 --> 00:31:01,299
I just closed my eyes and let him.
687
00:31:03,799 --> 00:31:05,099
He raped her.
688
00:31:05,099 --> 00:31:06,599
Well, let's get a warrant
for a DNA screening.
689
00:31:06,599 --> 00:31:08,500
The evidence is circumstantial.
690
00:31:08,500 --> 00:31:11,099
They could shoot us down,
his lawyer could drag it out.
691
00:31:11,099 --> 00:31:13,500
I am not willing to gamble on this.
692
00:31:13,500 --> 00:31:14,599
So what do you have in mind?
693
00:31:14,599 --> 00:31:16,299
I rope him in. Tonight.
694
00:31:16,299 --> 00:31:18,400
Before another woman ends up dead.
695
00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:19,599
It's too dangerous.
696
00:31:19,599 --> 00:31:21,500
You don't get to be overprotective.
697
00:31:21,500 --> 00:31:23,000
You're not my husband anymore.
698
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:24,200
That wasn't my choice!
699
00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:25,700
If you would take me back right now,
700
00:31:25,700 --> 00:31:27,400
I would happily be your husband again.
701
00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:28,500
You just say the word.
702
00:31:28,500 --> 00:31:30,299
We are not doing this!
703
00:31:30,299 --> 00:31:33,299
I have mourned the death
of our marriage plenty,
704
00:31:33,299 --> 00:31:35,099
but then I moved on.
705
00:31:35,099 --> 00:31:38,500
Guess what? I like not being
married to a serial adulterer.
706
00:31:38,500 --> 00:31:41,900
And I like doing the job
that I'm really good at.
707
00:31:41,900 --> 00:31:45,900
So stop acting like a husband
and start acting like a boss
708
00:31:45,900 --> 00:31:48,700
who wants to catch a killer as much as I do!
709
00:31:49,599 --> 00:31:50,900
You'll keep him in public.
710
00:31:50,900 --> 00:31:53,200
Not good enough. We have
to catch him in the act.
711
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:56,400
Laura...
712
00:31:58,400 --> 00:31:59,400
All right, look.
713
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:01,900
If you're going head-to-head
with a probable killer,
714
00:32:01,900 --> 00:32:04,700
then you need wingmen.
You need multiple wingmen.
715
00:32:04,700 --> 00:32:06,000
Deal.
716
00:32:07,500 --> 00:32:09,000
Let's go.
717
00:32:24,599 --> 00:32:26,200
Didn't expect to hear from you.
718
00:32:27,099 --> 00:32:28,700
Bring your dry cleaning bill?
719
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:32,400
Tell you what...
720
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:36,299
I'll pay for my dry cleaning if
you pay for my dirty Martini.
721
00:32:36,299 --> 00:32:38,000
Done.
722
00:32:38,500 --> 00:32:41,000
So, what do you do
when you're not making a mess?
723
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:42,599
I'm in import/export.
724
00:32:42,900 --> 00:32:44,900
Business runs itself, so...
725
00:32:45,599 --> 00:32:47,099
Mostly, I play.
726
00:32:48,599 --> 00:32:53,599
Well, that sounds like a
complete waste of time.
727
00:32:53,900 --> 00:32:55,900
How about starting a non-profit?
728
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:57,799
Feisty, hmm?
729
00:32:57,799 --> 00:33:00,299
You don't know the half of it.
730
00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:03,599
Let's see. What's that?
731
00:33:04,099 --> 00:33:09,200
"Yvette, Carrie, Stacey, Alison, Noelle,
Daphne, Alison number two..."
732
00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:10,299
Man, wingman's got game.
733
00:33:10,299 --> 00:33:11,599
"Let's get naked tonight."
734
00:33:11,599 --> 00:33:13,200
"Hot and heavy, down to frolic."
735
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:15,599
Ugh! This guy's been douche-texting
half the women in New York.
736
00:33:15,599 --> 00:33:16,799
Where the hell's Christa?
737
00:33:16,799 --> 00:33:19,900
If I were pig-boy and I just
killed my latest dwarf-y conquest,
738
00:33:19,900 --> 00:33:22,900
then I would delete my text
history with her, stat.
739
00:33:22,900 --> 00:33:26,400
But, what I doubt pig-boy knows
is unless you empty your bin...
740
00:33:28,500 --> 00:33:31,000
Text messages can be recovered.
741
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:32,299
Remind me never to date you.
742
00:33:32,299 --> 00:33:34,500
"C.C." That must be Christa Chase.
743
00:33:34,799 --> 00:33:38,299
Christa Chase 7:41 P.M. Monday...
744
00:33:38,299 --> 00:33:40,099
"We're on." There we go.
745
00:33:40,099 --> 00:33:43,599
He must've taken a shine to Christa,
convinced her to meet him instead of Kevin.
746
00:33:43,599 --> 00:33:46,400
She shows up, she gets cold
feet, boom, he lashes out.
747
00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:49,799
Dirty tracks. Evidence is
circumstantial but pretty damning.
748
00:33:51,599 --> 00:33:53,299
All right, let's
have Laura close the deal.
749
00:34:02,299 --> 00:34:03,799
What do you say
750
00:34:03,799 --> 00:34:05,700
we get out of here.
751
00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:09,699
I mean, if you want to.
752
00:34:10,599 --> 00:34:11,800
Done.
753
00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:15,800
They're on the move.
754
00:34:17,300 --> 00:34:18,900
Give them a little space.
755
00:34:19,500 --> 00:34:20,800
- Now.
- Right.
756
00:34:33,500 --> 00:34:36,099
Picked this place up for chump
change when the bubble burst.
757
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:45,699
__
758
00:34:51,199 --> 00:34:52,500
She's on 14.
759
00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:56,800
- It's magnetic.
- We gotta kill the power.
760
00:35:00,300 --> 00:35:01,699
Come on, come on.
761
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:03,500
Let's move this party along.
762
00:35:18,599 --> 00:35:20,300
How about a striptease?
763
00:35:21,099 --> 00:35:22,599
Knock yourself out.
764
00:35:22,599 --> 00:35:24,199
Not me.
765
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:27,400
You.
766
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:29,500
Big boy.
767
00:35:32,300 --> 00:35:34,699
I need a good look at
what I'm gonna be riding.
768
00:35:38,199 --> 00:35:40,099
Momma's got a freaky streak.
769
00:35:40,900 --> 00:35:43,599
Yes, this is Captain Jake
Broderick, NYPD 2nd precinct.
770
00:35:43,599 --> 00:35:45,400
Look, I need an emergency power shutdown
771
00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:47,500
on Orchard between Delancey and Broome.
772
00:35:47,500 --> 00:35:49,500
No, look, I don't have
time for a supervisor!
773
00:35:49,500 --> 00:35:51,699
Turn the power off! Just do it!
774
00:36:07,900 --> 00:36:10,500
Whoever it was, scratched up pretty good.
775
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:13,699
Where's the choreography?
776
00:36:18,699 --> 00:36:19,599
Oh!
777
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:26,300
I'm sorry, whoa, I thought I could do this.
778
00:36:26,699 --> 00:36:30,699
But between the cheap cologne
and the Wolverine scratches
779
00:36:30,699 --> 00:36:33,599
I... yikes, I gotta go.
780
00:36:33,599 --> 00:36:34,900
The hell you do.
781
00:36:34,900 --> 00:36:38,000
Unbelievable! Twice in a week.
782
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:39,699
Don't you know that middle-aged bitches...
783
00:36:39,699 --> 00:36:41,699
"Can't afford to be teases"?
784
00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:43,199
Yes, we can.
785
00:36:43,199 --> 00:36:46,199
And we can also afford self-defense classes.
786
00:36:50,900 --> 00:36:52,800
That is for Christa.
787
00:37:05,099 --> 00:37:08,199
Party's over, coug. Now you're gonna die alone.
788
00:37:08,300 --> 00:37:10,099
Just like you lived.
789
00:37:10,099 --> 00:37:13,699
That would be sad, but for one thing.
790
00:37:13,699 --> 00:37:14,800
What?
791
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:16,699
I'm not alone!
792
00:37:16,699 --> 00:37:18,400
Police! Don't move!
793
00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:19,599
Get your ass on the ground!
794
00:37:22,300 --> 00:37:25,400
Now the party's over!
795
00:37:27,699 --> 00:37:28,800
Yeah, you got him?
796
00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:34,000
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Oh...
797
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:35,500
I released.
798
00:37:35,500 --> 00:37:36,500
Okay, there we go.
799
00:37:36,500 --> 00:37:38,699
Hey, but stupendous bust. It's really cool.
800
00:37:38,699 --> 00:37:41,300
On a less bright note, a Mrs.
Gutierrez from school called
801
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:43,599
to remind you that extended
day care has been canceled
802
00:37:43,599 --> 00:37:45,699
in light of a baby shower
for Nurse Schwartzbaum.
803
00:37:45,699 --> 00:37:49,199
Screw Schwartzbaum! I've got to
finish this report for the DA.
804
00:37:49,199 --> 00:37:51,800
- Jake?
- No pick up, no can do.
805
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:54,199
- Morning, Mark.
- No, it's not my name.
806
00:37:57,000 --> 00:38:00,699
Your SS prison guard here says you
called someone who posted my bail.
807
00:38:03,099 --> 00:38:05,099
- Dad!
- Honey, I had to.
808
00:38:05,099 --> 00:38:07,800
Detective Diamond said they
were running out of jail space.
809
00:38:07,800 --> 00:38:10,400
- What the hell?
- I'm dropping the charges.
810
00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:12,000
I'll still pay for your tuition,
811
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:13,400
and I'll pay for your apartment.
812
00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:16,099
Just stop having protests in my building.
813
00:38:16,099 --> 00:38:18,500
Of course, the police
state and the aristocracy
814
00:38:18,500 --> 00:38:21,000
conspiring against the
proletariat. What else is new?
815
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:23,900
Shush! Too loud for the workplace.
816
00:38:24,699 --> 00:38:26,199
I'm not taking your blood money
817
00:38:26,199 --> 00:38:29,500
when you don't even pay your
employees a living wage.
818
00:38:29,500 --> 00:38:31,500
You may be able to buy your way around
819
00:38:31,500 --> 00:38:33,599
the canal street workers' rights board,
820
00:38:33,599 --> 00:38:35,800
but you can't buy my integrity!
821
00:38:38,199 --> 00:38:40,300
You drive a hard bargain, Sammi.
822
00:38:41,699 --> 00:38:43,099
But I love you.
823
00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:47,599
I'll take subway money.
824
00:38:48,099 --> 00:38:49,500
That was impressive.
825
00:38:50,300 --> 00:38:51,300
Here.
826
00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:54,300
Have you ever done any babysitting?
827
00:38:55,199 --> 00:38:57,599
Only every weekend for nine years.
828
00:38:57,599 --> 00:38:59,099
Call me.
829
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:04,500
Full background check.
830
00:39:04,500 --> 00:39:06,199
Quick word?
831
00:39:06,199 --> 00:39:07,699
Of course, come on in.
832
00:39:07,699 --> 00:39:09,900
- Hey, great job with the case.
- Thanks.
833
00:39:10,599 --> 00:39:12,500
Always gonna give you my best on the job.
834
00:39:12,500 --> 00:39:14,099
Off the job, you're on your own.
835
00:39:16,099 --> 00:39:17,800
- Meaning?
- Meaning...
836
00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:19,900
I'm your employee, but I'm not your wingman.
837
00:39:20,300 --> 00:39:22,199
Whatever you do outside of the
office, that's your business,
838
00:39:22,199 --> 00:39:23,599
just keep me out of it.
839
00:39:23,699 --> 00:39:25,300
'Cause between you and Laura,
840
00:39:25,300 --> 00:39:27,099
I think you know where I come down.
841
00:39:28,300 --> 00:39:30,500
Really? More bro time?
842
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:32,500
I was just leaving.
843
00:39:33,900 --> 00:39:35,699
Off to pick up your children.
844
00:39:36,500 --> 00:39:38,699
I see you're incredibly busy.
845
00:39:39,900 --> 00:39:42,500
The medical examiner just
matched the wingman's DNA.
846
00:39:42,500 --> 00:39:43,900
- Good job.
- Thank you.
847
00:39:45,199 --> 00:39:47,400
Anything else, sir?
848
00:39:48,099 --> 00:39:49,599
Actually, Laura, there is.
849
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:55,500
The other night, when Billy
and I went out for drinks,
850
00:39:56,099 --> 00:39:57,000
there was a girl...
851
00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:57,900
? La, la, la, la, la ?
852
00:39:57,900 --> 00:39:59,699
I really don't want to
hear about your sex life.
853
00:39:59,699 --> 00:40:04,699
Okay, there's nothing to hear. Your former
"serial adulterer" didn't sleep with her,
854
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:06,699
because of you.
855
00:40:06,699 --> 00:40:08,800
My hero!
856
00:40:08,800 --> 00:40:12,199
I recommend that you take
every opportunity you can get.
857
00:40:12,500 --> 00:40:13,900
I'm going to.
858
00:40:13,900 --> 00:40:16,300
In fact, I have a hot date tonight.
859
00:40:16,300 --> 00:40:17,599
With who?
860
00:40:17,900 --> 00:40:19,800
Threesome, actually.
861
00:40:23,699 --> 00:40:30,699
62562
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