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1
00:00:53,407 --> 00:00:57,654
I'm sorry. I can't seem to find
my purse. I must have ten of'em.
2
00:00:57,745 --> 00:01:00,949
- Can you just ring mine first, please?
- There's someone ahead of you, sir.
3
00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:03,164
I usually keep my change in
my little change bear, but...
4
00:01:03,251 --> 00:01:06,169
That's almost interesting.
How much is hers?
5
00:01:07,673 --> 00:01:09,796
- 5.26.
- Just add it on, please.
6
00:01:09,884 --> 00:01:12,801
Hold on, hold on. If it's not
in this one, it'll be in another one.
7
00:01:12,887 --> 00:01:16,007
- That'll be 9.65.
- Thank you very much.
- How sweet.
8
00:01:16,099 --> 00:01:18,507
- You didn't have to do that for me.
- I didn't do it for you.
9
00:01:18,601 --> 00:01:21,887
Check some bags next time.
10
00:01:21,980 --> 00:01:22,929
Jerk.
11
00:01:37,305 --> 00:01:40,840
- How can I help you, Governor?
- Some dirtbag...
12
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,721
dirtbag... from
the attorney general's office...
13
00:01:43,812 --> 00:01:46,647
had dared to mention
the word "jail."
14
00:01:46,732 --> 00:01:50,600
Waaah.
15
00:01:50,695 --> 00:01:53,696
Waaah!
16
00:01:53,781 --> 00:01:59,654
- Somebody call the "waaambulance"!
- What? What did you say?
17
00:02:08,464 --> 00:02:12,165
Governor, do you know what the number
one killer of politicians
under the age of 60 is?
18
00:02:12,260 --> 00:02:14,586
- No.
- Self-pity.
19
00:02:14,679 --> 00:02:16,921
Now, Governor, I'll be more than happy
to help you out of this mess...
20
00:02:17,015 --> 00:02:19,341
that you so willingly
seem to have stepped into.
21
00:02:19,435 --> 00:02:22,471
- But you ought to do something.
- What's that?
22
00:02:22,563 --> 00:02:25,185
- Stop crying.
- I'll try.
23
00:02:25,274 --> 00:02:28,478
No, I mean right now.
You're giving me a headache.
24
00:02:43,837 --> 00:02:48,131
Excuse me, folks,
anything more to drink?
25
00:02:48,216 --> 00:02:50,790
- Do y'all have any single-malt scotch?
- Sure do.
26
00:02:52,179 --> 00:02:54,670
So, what do you do for a living?
27
00:02:57,185 --> 00:03:01,432
You wanna tell me about it? You know,
comfort of strangers and all that.
28
00:03:01,523 --> 00:03:03,432
No.
29
00:03:05,778 --> 00:03:07,687
Oh. Must be something
on the Internet.
30
00:03:09,365 --> 00:03:11,654
Or finance.
31
00:03:11,742 --> 00:03:13,782
Genetic engineering,
maybe, huh?
32
00:03:13,870 --> 00:03:18,034
- I'm an image consultant, okay?
- Okay.
33
00:03:39,064 --> 00:03:41,141
So you sort of
troubleshoot for folks?
34
00:03:41,233 --> 00:03:45,018
You know, give 'em makeovers
when they need revamping, right?
35
00:03:46,072 --> 00:03:48,361
Right.
36
00:03:48,450 --> 00:03:50,359
Hey, look...
37
00:03:50,452 --> 00:03:53,786
I'm flying to L.A. to start
an anchor job in the local news...
38
00:03:53,872 --> 00:03:57,822
and I do not think that it's an accident
that I'm sitting next to you.
39
00:03:57,918 --> 00:03:59,876
I see.
So the cosmic purpose...
40
00:03:59,962 --> 00:04:02,536
of our meeting is for me
to give you free advice.
41
00:04:02,632 --> 00:04:06,962
- What do I get out of it?
- We don't know yet.
42
00:04:07,054 --> 00:04:09,723
But I'll owe you.
43
00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:29,784
- If I do it, will you shut up?
- Quiet as the dead.
44
00:04:32,248 --> 00:04:35,000
Your hair's too big, your brows
are too dark, your nails are too long...
45
00:04:35,084 --> 00:04:36,994
and your foundation's too orange.
46
00:04:37,087 --> 00:04:40,586
Your perfume's too sweet.
It's the news, honey, not the prom.
47
00:04:40,674 --> 00:04:43,841
- I like your eyes...
- Oh. Thank you.
48
00:04:43,928 --> 00:04:46,763
Bluer.
Try the tinted contacts.
49
00:04:46,847 --> 00:04:48,805
But only when you're
anchoring or in L.A.
50
00:04:48,891 --> 00:04:52,225
- When you're on assignment,
take them out.
- What about my accent?
51
00:04:52,312 --> 00:04:54,601
I'm always being warned
to stop saying "y'all."
52
00:04:54,689 --> 00:04:58,106
Don't ever stop saying "y'all."
Your "y'all" is your trademark.
53
00:04:58,193 --> 00:05:00,945
Say "y'all," and you'll be
promoted in six months.
54
00:05:01,030 --> 00:05:04,114
Say "y'all" with a smile,
you'll be famous in 12.
55
00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:08,744
Well, thank you.
56
00:05:08,830 --> 00:05:10,372
You're welcome.
57
00:05:10,457 --> 00:05:14,206
Now, will you please shut up?
58
00:05:32,606 --> 00:05:37,103
All right, let me have him.
Hello, Your Honour. How are you?
59
00:05:37,195 --> 00:05:39,567
Good. Thank you.
60
00:05:39,656 --> 00:05:41,447
Define "not exactly alone."
61
00:05:43,952 --> 00:05:46,241
Your Honour,
was this mannequin inflatable?
62
00:05:49,208 --> 00:05:51,415
You know if the press...
63
00:05:51,502 --> 00:05:53,744
Dodged one bullet.
64
00:05:53,838 --> 00:05:56,080
Listen, this is all
gonna blow over.
65
00:06:07,937 --> 00:06:11,141
Hey! Did you see the...
66
00:06:12,734 --> 00:06:14,015
the...
67
00:06:17,531 --> 00:06:18,646
Yeah.
68
00:06:22,078 --> 00:06:24,154
Twelve cream pies are on
their way over to the stadium.
69
00:06:24,247 --> 00:06:26,572
Bob Riley expects you
in the owner's box at 3:00.
70
00:06:26,666 --> 00:06:30,664
Amy will meet you there.
And why are you wearing a yellow tie?
71
00:06:30,754 --> 00:06:33,921
Janet. How could you know I'm wearing
my yellow tie? You can't even see me.
72
00:06:34,007 --> 00:06:36,250
I can hear the stress
in your voice.
73
00:06:36,343 --> 00:06:38,087
Whenever you're stressed,
you wear the yellow tie...
74
00:06:38,179 --> 00:06:40,931
which makes you feel all-powerful,
so you're probably gonna yell at me...
75
00:06:41,015 --> 00:06:44,634
which I'm not
in the mood for, so don't.
76
00:06:44,728 --> 00:06:49,307
- Nice tie.
- I am not stressed.
77
00:06:49,399 --> 00:06:52,484
There is nothing wrong with me. I just
didn't get enough sleep last night.
78
00:06:52,570 --> 00:06:55,986
- Can I have today's work, please?
- Take your phone off.
You're with a human now.
79
00:06:56,073 --> 00:06:59,110
I did the ones and twos.
There's a three, a four.
80
00:06:59,202 --> 00:07:02,654
I flagged the five in your mail.
There's an eight on your desk to sign.
81
00:07:02,748 --> 00:07:05,417
And there's a ten
standing in your office.
82
00:07:16,846 --> 00:07:18,970
Why did you let him
in my office, Janet?
83
00:07:19,057 --> 00:07:21,975
He threatened me with a machete.
84
00:07:22,061 --> 00:07:24,219
He's your father, Russ.
85
00:07:28,234 --> 00:07:32,018
Wait 60 seconds and come in
and tell me I'm late for something.
86
00:07:32,113 --> 00:07:35,399
- I hate you.
- Fight fair.
87
00:07:41,248 --> 00:07:46,588
- That's a nice photo
of you, uh, and Al De Niro.
- Robert De Niro.
88
00:07:46,671 --> 00:07:49,708
Oh, it's a nice photo of you
and Robert De Niro.
89
00:07:49,799 --> 00:07:53,335
Well, it would be,
except that's Al Pacino.
90
00:07:53,428 --> 00:07:54,424
Oh.
91
00:07:54,513 --> 00:07:57,218
So, Dad,
what can I do for you?
92
00:07:57,308 --> 00:07:59,466
Did you get the cheque
I sent over this morning?
93
00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:01,968
Yes, yes, I did.
94
00:08:03,314 --> 00:08:06,102
But I didn't ask you for a cheque.
95
00:08:06,193 --> 00:08:08,766
I asked you to come over
and help me lift a few things.
96
00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:12,649
Well, time is money, Dad...
97
00:08:12,741 --> 00:08:14,615
and my time is worth
a lot more than a mover's...
98
00:08:14,702 --> 00:08:17,620
so I'm afraid the cheque
is gonna have to do.
99
00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:23,124
Look, your sister and her family are
coming over for dinner tomorrow night.
100
00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:26,248
You haven't seen your niece and nephew
in a long time.
101
00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:30,718
- Uh, you may want some
of those things in the attic.
- Like what, Dad?
102
00:08:30,803 --> 00:08:34,884
- Some more of my childhood memorabilia?
- You never know.
103
00:08:37,894 --> 00:08:40,101
How many times in the last 20 years
that you lived in that house...
104
00:08:40,188 --> 00:08:43,807
have I ever asked you
for anything, hmm?
105
00:08:43,901 --> 00:08:45,977
Anything at all?
106
00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:53,452
Um, you're late
for a very big meeting.
107
00:08:53,537 --> 00:08:56,657
Dozens of irate and highly important
people are clamouring for you.
108
00:08:56,748 --> 00:08:59,322
There is pandemonium,
I'm sure, somewhere...
109
00:08:59,418 --> 00:09:02,253
and you really must go...
right now.
110
00:09:03,756 --> 00:09:07,624
Good luck with the move, Dad.
Let me know how it goes.
111
00:09:22,235 --> 00:09:26,233
Call Fred and see how the market closed.
Check the NASD AQ Bye.
112
00:09:26,323 --> 00:09:27,272
That's perfect.
113
00:09:27,491 --> 00:09:28,356
You look brilliant.
114
00:09:28,450 --> 00:09:31,238
Completely and utterly gorgeous.
115
00:09:31,328 --> 00:09:33,286
Don't look at me.
Look out there.
116
00:09:33,372 --> 00:09:35,531
Have we signed a new client?
117
00:09:35,625 --> 00:09:38,959
We made a bet. If I make him look
handsome, I get a free hot dog.
118
00:09:39,045 --> 00:09:43,126
- You're going to starve.
- Not a chance.
119
00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:45,126
- Thank you.
- My pleasure.
120
00:09:45,219 --> 00:09:48,255
- Just don't share it with jerko.
- No way.
121
00:09:48,347 --> 00:09:51,017
Watch your cholesterol, hot dog boy.
Let me have that for you.
122
00:09:51,100 --> 00:09:53,176
Hey, I worked hard for that!
123
00:09:53,269 --> 00:09:55,392
Amy, those hot dogs will kill you.
124
00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:57,389
Besides, we're about to have
lobster in cream sauce.
125
00:09:57,482 --> 00:10:00,898
I don't want lobster in cream sauce.
I want hot dog in mustard sauce.
126
00:10:00,986 --> 00:10:02,895
Please stop biting your nails, Amy.
127
00:10:02,988 --> 00:10:06,155
Nail. I only bite one.
Why do you care anyway?
128
00:10:06,242 --> 00:10:08,151
I care because you work for me.
129
00:10:08,244 --> 00:10:10,735
When you bite your nails,
you're advertising weakness.
130
00:10:10,830 --> 00:10:13,322
Really? Advertising weakness
with one little nail?
131
00:10:13,416 --> 00:10:15,456
- What's this advertise?
- Nice.
132
00:10:15,544 --> 00:10:17,750
- Hi, Mike. Is he in?
- Waitin' for you.
133
00:10:17,838 --> 00:10:20,958
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
134
00:10:21,050 --> 00:10:22,758
Hello.
135
00:10:24,220 --> 00:10:26,545
- Hello.
- I haven't seen you in a couple of days.
136
00:10:26,639 --> 00:10:28,798
- How have you been?
- Fine. Now can we go in?
137
00:10:28,892 --> 00:10:33,435
No. This is the bit where you ask me.
138
00:10:33,522 --> 00:10:35,515
We're very late.
I don't have time to...
139
00:10:35,608 --> 00:10:38,811
Go on. Give it a whirl.
140
00:10:43,032 --> 00:10:45,950
Hi, Amy.
How are you doing?
141
00:10:47,454 --> 00:10:51,369
Fine.
We're really late.
142
00:10:54,170 --> 00:10:56,328
Hey, the cavalry is here!
143
00:10:56,422 --> 00:10:59,340
Russ Duritz to the rescue!
144
00:10:59,426 --> 00:11:02,842
Here to save my sorry behind.
145
00:11:02,929 --> 00:11:05,966
Josh, look after him.
146
00:11:06,058 --> 00:11:07,469
- Good luck.
- Yeah.
147
00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:09,517
Hi. I'm Josh,
Mr Riley's assistant.
148
00:11:09,603 --> 00:11:11,596
- If you need anything...
- I do.
149
00:11:11,689 --> 00:11:15,058
I need you to go up in the bleachers and
find me a dozen 8- to 12-year-old kids.
150
00:11:15,151 --> 00:11:19,399
Eight boys, four girls.
Five white, four Latino, three black.
151
00:11:19,489 --> 00:11:22,574
- Have 'em back here in three minutes.
- Okay.
152
00:11:22,660 --> 00:11:24,699
I need to use
your Hi-8 for this one.
153
00:11:24,787 --> 00:11:26,863
So why is everybody
busting my chops?
154
00:11:26,956 --> 00:11:28,949
And the way I see this thing...
155
00:11:29,042 --> 00:11:32,909
it's just a little
misunderstanding.
156
00:11:33,004 --> 00:11:35,044
Okay, Bob, let me see
if I can explain to you...
157
00:11:35,132 --> 00:11:37,884
how other people
see this little thing.
158
00:11:37,968 --> 00:11:40,542
You see, to Joe Baseball Fan out there,
you're the guy that promised...
159
00:11:40,638 --> 00:11:43,343
you would give five percent
of each ticket sold this season...
160
00:11:43,432 --> 00:11:46,387
to establishing a baseball camp
for inner-city kids.
161
00:11:46,478 --> 00:11:49,183
You're also the guy that gave
pictures to the press of kids...
162
00:11:49,272 --> 00:11:52,309
actually attending this camp
which, in fact, does not exist.
163
00:11:52,401 --> 00:11:56,315
Yet. I was intending
to get around to it, uh, eventually.
164
00:11:56,405 --> 00:12:00,190
- Ah.
- I am a very busy guy.
165
00:12:01,494 --> 00:12:03,701
No, Bob, you're not a busy man.
166
00:12:03,788 --> 00:12:06,873
See, what you are
is a "stoopid" man.
167
00:12:06,958 --> 00:12:10,244
A very stupid guy
who only played Mr Charitable...
168
00:12:10,337 --> 00:12:12,247
because you wanted to suck up
to city council...
169
00:12:12,339 --> 00:12:15,923
so they'd build you
a brand new baseball park.
170
00:12:16,010 --> 00:12:18,252
But guess what.
Bye-bye, ballpark.
171
00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:22,639
Hello, jail.
172
00:12:22,726 --> 00:12:27,684
- So what's your big plan?
- How do you feel about
chocolate cream pie?
173
00:12:27,773 --> 00:12:31,771
Why? You gonna feed the kids cream pie
to get me out of this mess?
174
00:12:31,861 --> 00:12:35,028
No. The kids are gonna feed you
cream pie and get you out of this mess.
175
00:12:35,115 --> 00:12:37,606
- Huh?
- Bob...
176
00:12:37,701 --> 00:12:39,610
prepare to be pied.
177
00:12:41,246 --> 00:12:43,738
I deserve it!
178
00:12:43,833 --> 00:12:45,825
More pie in the face!
179
00:12:45,918 --> 00:12:48,291
Bob, the press
is gonna eat this up.
180
00:12:48,379 --> 00:12:50,337
Amy, what do you think?
181
00:12:50,423 --> 00:12:53,674
- Amy? Amy?
- You want to know what I think?
182
00:12:54,594 --> 00:12:57,216
I think there's something
very creepy about all this.
183
00:12:57,306 --> 00:13:00,390
Amy, Amy, I swear to you...
184
00:13:00,476 --> 00:13:04,474
I will make sure that the editing of
this tape is handled tastefully, okay?
185
00:13:04,564 --> 00:13:07,316
- I'm sure you will.
- No, I promise.
186
00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:09,938
- We didn't do anything wrong today.
- No.
187
00:13:10,028 --> 00:13:15,319
- We did the right thing by
our client, Bob Riley.
- I love him.
188
00:13:15,409 --> 00:13:20,652
Russ, today we shamelessly
exploited innocent children...
189
00:13:20,748 --> 00:13:24,414
just to help some crook
with his cash flow problems.
190
00:13:28,048 --> 00:13:30,835
Are you gonna finish
this last piece of yellowtail?
191
00:13:30,926 --> 00:13:33,168
Russ, you should be concerned
about this. You're turning 40 in...
192
00:13:33,262 --> 00:13:36,263
- Thank you so much for bringing that up.
- You're at an age when...
- What, and you're not at an age...
193
00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:38,342
Yes, we both are.
194
00:13:38,434 --> 00:13:43,013
Well, we can't go around any more
talking about what we're going
to be like when we grow up.
195
00:13:43,106 --> 00:13:44,684
We are up.
196
00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:49,863
- Is that it?
- Yeah.
197
00:13:49,947 --> 00:13:53,530
- You finished?
- Yeah, I'm finished.
198
00:13:53,618 --> 00:13:56,156
Good.
199
00:13:56,246 --> 00:13:59,366
Toshiya, if you get called
a jerk four times...
200
00:13:59,458 --> 00:14:01,534
in the same day,
does that make it true?
201
00:14:01,627 --> 00:14:04,165
- What, only four? Did you get up late?
- Excuse me.
202
00:14:04,255 --> 00:14:07,339
- I'm asking Toshiya.
- Just four times, a pattern.
203
00:14:07,425 --> 00:14:09,881
It have to be five times to be a fact.
204
00:14:09,969 --> 00:14:13,884
- Thank you very much.
You see? There is hope.
- Jerk.
205
00:14:15,100 --> 00:14:17,472
Thank you.
206
00:14:22,149 --> 00:14:25,353
Yo, Pedro, make sure
this gets in the trash.
207
00:14:33,370 --> 00:14:35,992
Yes!
208
00:14:36,081 --> 00:14:41,040
That was fantastic! I can't believe
you just did such a fantastic thing!
209
00:14:41,129 --> 00:14:43,122
Me neither.
210
00:14:43,214 --> 00:14:45,254
I must really be stressed out.
211
00:14:49,346 --> 00:14:51,339
Probably still in there.
212
00:14:51,432 --> 00:14:56,094
You are not going
Dumpster diving to look for
that stinky, fish-encrusted tape.
213
00:14:56,187 --> 00:14:59,391
You're right.
I shouldn't go in there.
214
00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:01,938
I'm wearing a $2,000 suit.
Come on. I'll give you a boost.
215
00:15:02,027 --> 00:15:03,735
Come on, come on, come on.
Distract yourself.
216
00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:06,608
Honour your instincts.
Look at the moon. Look at it.
217
00:15:06,699 --> 00:15:10,649
- What? Look at what?
- Look.
218
00:15:11,871 --> 00:15:15,703
Isn't it lovely?
It's big, it's beautiful, it's...
219
00:15:15,792 --> 00:15:18,034
revolving around the earth,
proving once again...
220
00:15:18,128 --> 00:15:21,295
that the universe
does not revolve around you.
221
00:15:21,381 --> 00:15:23,421
It's worth a look,
if you ask me.
222
00:15:24,802 --> 00:15:26,925
Are you looking?
223
00:15:27,013 --> 00:15:28,922
- I looked.
- Look again!
- Okay...
224
00:15:29,015 --> 00:15:31,423
Okay! Amy...
225
00:15:31,518 --> 00:15:33,427
Quit fooling around,
all right? I looked.
226
00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:35,429
Now can we go?
227
00:15:35,522 --> 00:15:38,726
- Come on, grumpy.
- Hey, will you stop?
228
00:15:38,817 --> 00:15:41,522
I stopped.
229
00:15:41,612 --> 00:15:43,985
I want to show you something.
Tell me if you think this is cute.
230
00:15:45,909 --> 00:15:50,452
Oh! Look at the moon!
It's so big and round...
231
00:15:50,539 --> 00:15:53,291
and when I look at it,
I'm all perky and excited and...
232
00:15:53,375 --> 00:15:57,160
no one would ever know
that I'm almost 30! Ooh!
233
00:15:57,254 --> 00:15:59,331
What do you think?
234
00:15:59,423 --> 00:16:01,831
Cute or just stupid?
235
00:16:06,098 --> 00:16:10,427
You know, Russ, just when I think
I've seen the worst...
236
00:16:10,519 --> 00:16:14,303
that there's no possible way
you could be more of a jerk...
237
00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:20,860
you outdo yourself.
238
00:16:20,947 --> 00:16:23,070
And then...
239
00:16:24,910 --> 00:16:28,694
just when I'm about to leave,
you do something.
240
00:16:28,789 --> 00:16:33,167
Like tonight,
when you threw that tape away.
241
00:16:33,253 --> 00:16:37,547
Then I get the tiniest,
briefest glimpse of the kid in you.
242
00:16:39,468 --> 00:16:42,919
That's when I decide to hang around
for five more minutes...
243
00:16:43,013 --> 00:16:45,053
see what happens next.
244
00:16:46,976 --> 00:16:49,099
Bye.
245
00:17:14,006 --> 00:17:17,126
Janet, I want you on the phone
with the alarm company first
thing in the morning, okay?
246
00:17:17,218 --> 00:17:19,887
There is no way anybody
should ever get inside those gates.
247
00:17:19,971 --> 00:17:23,221
Ever! As a matter of fact,
get 'em on the phone
right now, and you tell them...
248
00:17:23,308 --> 00:17:25,550
- It's 3:00 a.m.
- Janet, I don't care if
it's 3:00 in the morning.
249
00:17:25,644 --> 00:17:28,562
They're supposed to be
a 24-hour security service, okay?
250
00:17:28,647 --> 00:17:30,770
I want the sensitivity
set on ten.
251
00:17:30,858 --> 00:17:33,894
I want electrocution.
I want charred flesh. Do you understand?
252
00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:37,272
- Write it down. Janet.
- "Charred flesh."
- Write it down!
253
00:17:37,365 --> 00:17:40,615
It was probably just some neighbourhood
kid. I don't know why you're so upset.
254
00:17:40,702 --> 00:17:44,783
- I'm not upset. I'm just mad.
- Okay. Mad. Not upset.
255
00:17:44,873 --> 00:17:48,207
- You know, maybe we should get
a new security company, okay?
- Uh-huh.
256
00:17:48,294 --> 00:17:50,915
I want rottweilers.
I want big, scary rottweilers.
257
00:17:51,005 --> 00:17:54,125
I want the guy
who trains the rottweilers
to be afraid to come over here, okay?
258
00:17:54,217 --> 00:17:57,384
- I want a moat with lava.
- "Moat with lava."
259
00:17:57,471 --> 00:17:59,547
Trolls with that?
Evil ones?
260
00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:02,131
No, Janet. No trolls.
261
00:18:02,226 --> 00:18:06,473
- Hello? Uh. Russ. It's Dad. Uh...
- Hold on a second, Janet.
262
00:18:06,564 --> 00:18:10,016
- Honey, I'm so sorry.
- I know I asked earlier...
263
00:18:10,109 --> 00:18:12,648
but. Um. It'd be nice
to have you here for dinner.
264
00:18:12,737 --> 00:18:15,655
I know Joanne and the kids
would love to see you.
265
00:18:15,741 --> 00:18:18,314
And. Uh. Well. If your
schedule opens up...
266
00:18:19,995 --> 00:18:24,539
- Janet, I am going to bed.
- Good idea. Me too.
267
00:18:24,626 --> 00:18:27,199
I do not wish to talk to you
or anyone else...
268
00:18:27,295 --> 00:18:29,454
on this planet
for the next three hours.
269
00:18:29,548 --> 00:18:31,505
- Guess what. Neither do I.
- Goodbye.
270
00:20:13,704 --> 00:20:15,614
"Rusty."
271
00:20:15,707 --> 00:20:18,661
Dad, you are really
gettin' weird.
272
00:20:56,835 --> 00:20:59,327
Hey!
273
00:20:59,421 --> 00:21:01,913
Hey!
274
00:21:02,008 --> 00:21:04,581
Hey, stop! Stop!
Come back!
275
00:21:04,677 --> 00:21:08,011
Come back here! Hey!
276
00:21:08,098 --> 00:21:10,803
Gotcha! Ow! Ah!
277
00:21:15,314 --> 00:21:18,066
Hey! Hey!
278
00:21:38,715 --> 00:21:41,633
Hey! Hey!
279
00:21:41,718 --> 00:21:43,545
Get it outta here!
280
00:22:02,533 --> 00:22:04,490
Look out, idiot!
281
00:22:04,577 --> 00:22:07,329
Move it, you jerk!
282
00:22:09,582 --> 00:22:12,038
Hey!
283
00:22:36,195 --> 00:22:38,402
Hey!
284
00:22:38,489 --> 00:22:40,447
Hey!
285
00:22:46,415 --> 00:22:48,740
Hey!
286
00:22:48,834 --> 00:22:50,494
Hey!
287
00:23:21,829 --> 00:23:24,320
Uh, uh, good evening.
288
00:23:24,415 --> 00:23:27,500
Uh, a kid just...
289
00:23:27,585 --> 00:23:30,752
ran in here a moment ago,
and, uh...
290
00:23:30,839 --> 00:23:33,412
Any of you see anything?
291
00:23:34,926 --> 00:23:37,500
Can any of you see anything?
292
00:23:37,596 --> 00:23:39,506
For we can fly
293
00:23:39,598 --> 00:23:44,640
'Cause this kid who, uh,
was just here...
294
00:23:44,729 --> 00:23:46,686
Up. Up and away
295
00:23:46,773 --> 00:23:50,107
- He...
- See you later.
296
00:23:50,193 --> 00:23:52,601
Hey! Officer!
297
00:23:56,701 --> 00:24:02,490
The world's a nicer place
in my beautiful balloon
298
00:24:02,582 --> 00:24:04,990
It wears a nicer face
299
00:24:12,259 --> 00:24:14,798
Uh-uh.
300
00:24:24,523 --> 00:24:26,812
Good morning, Doctor.
301
00:24:26,901 --> 00:24:29,653
I'd like to get right to the point,
if you don't mind.
I've got a meeting in ten minutes.
302
00:24:29,737 --> 00:24:31,730
You're entitled
to a 50-minute hour.
303
00:24:31,823 --> 00:24:34,065
Thank you, but I only require
a five-minute hour...
304
00:24:34,159 --> 00:24:36,068
or however long it takes you
to write a prescription.
305
00:24:36,161 --> 00:24:38,486
I see.
306
00:24:38,580 --> 00:24:40,988
Uh, we should talk about this.
Why don't you sit down.
307
00:24:41,083 --> 00:24:43,455
No, thank you.
I don't want to sit down.
308
00:24:43,544 --> 00:24:45,584
It all starts with sitting down.
309
00:24:45,671 --> 00:24:47,997
You sit down,
and then before you know it...
310
00:24:48,091 --> 00:24:50,546
twelve years has gone by,
and you're still talking about...
311
00:24:50,635 --> 00:24:52,544
the time you saw
your mother naked in the shower.
312
00:24:52,637 --> 00:24:54,714
You saw your mother
naked in the shower?
313
00:24:54,806 --> 00:24:58,674
No! I'm just saying
I'm happy to stand, okay?
314
00:24:58,769 --> 00:25:00,762
Look, I-I-I don't want therapy.
315
00:25:00,855 --> 00:25:04,438
- I don't need therapy.
- Why do you feel that way?
316
00:25:04,525 --> 00:25:07,895
Because I'm not like the other nutballs
that roll through here, okay?
317
00:25:07,988 --> 00:25:10,479
I don't have a smoking problem.
I don't have a drinking problem.
318
00:25:10,574 --> 00:25:13,065
I don't have a closet full
of ladies' undergarments.
319
00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:17,953
Sit down, Mr Duritz, and tell me
what the problem is.
320
00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:21,789
- No, you don't!
- Mr Duritz, I'm not trying to trick you.
321
00:25:21,878 --> 00:25:24,286
I'm trying to understand
your issues.
322
00:25:24,381 --> 00:25:27,964
Issue. Issue, singular.
Just one.
323
00:25:28,051 --> 00:25:30,969
All right. What is it?
324
00:25:35,184 --> 00:25:38,139
For the last few weeks...
325
00:25:38,229 --> 00:25:41,396
I have been seeing
a guy in a plane.
326
00:25:41,483 --> 00:25:43,974
Oh, I see.
327
00:25:44,069 --> 00:25:46,477
Not that kind of seeing!
I mean...
328
00:25:46,572 --> 00:25:50,072
I've been hallucinating
a guy in a plane.
329
00:25:50,159 --> 00:25:54,537
And these delusions, or whatever
it is you people call them...
330
00:25:54,622 --> 00:25:56,331
seem to be getting worse.
331
00:25:56,416 --> 00:26:00,366
Anyway, now I'm seeing a kid.
332
00:26:00,462 --> 00:26:05,801
And you think this kid
is a hallucination too?
333
00:26:05,885 --> 00:26:07,545
Yes.
334
00:26:07,637 --> 00:26:11,849
Is he someone you knew from your past,
from your childhood?
335
00:26:11,933 --> 00:26:15,219
No, not from my childhood.
I've forgotten my childhood.
336
00:26:15,312 --> 00:26:17,768
My childhood is in the past,
where it belongs.
337
00:26:17,856 --> 00:26:21,356
But doesn't want
to stay in the past, does it?
338
00:26:24,489 --> 00:26:27,656
Mr Duritz, I notice
your eye is twitching.
339
00:26:27,742 --> 00:26:30,660
- I don't have a tic.
- I didn't say you had a tic.
340
00:26:30,746 --> 00:26:34,530
It's not a tic. I have dry eyes.
Why are you asking me about my dry eyes?
341
00:26:34,625 --> 00:26:37,875
- Why are you so upset?
- Because I'm having hallucinations!
342
00:26:37,962 --> 00:26:40,536
And I'm asking you
to make them go away...
343
00:26:40,632 --> 00:26:44,712
with very powerful medication
that I can pick up on my way to work.
344
00:26:46,471 --> 00:26:49,010
Please, ma'am.
345
00:26:51,977 --> 00:26:56,687
Mr Duritz, you will pick up
your powerful medicine...
346
00:26:56,774 --> 00:26:59,562
and then you will...
347
00:26:59,653 --> 00:27:02,144
go home and take
the rest of the day off.
348
00:27:02,239 --> 00:27:06,486
- Yes, ma'am.
- This is for a total of four pills.
349
00:27:06,577 --> 00:27:09,662
They will help to keep you calm
until tomorrow at 4:00...
350
00:27:09,747 --> 00:27:13,033
at which time I expect
to see you back here in my office...
351
00:27:13,126 --> 00:27:16,162
for an appointment,
which you must promise to keep.
352
00:27:16,254 --> 00:27:18,496
Yes, ma'am.
353
00:27:18,590 --> 00:27:21,924
You're having these
hallucinations for a reason.
354
00:27:22,011 --> 00:27:24,632
- Yes, ma'am.
- And Mr Duritz...
355
00:27:24,722 --> 00:27:27,593
you need to figure out
what that reason is.
356
00:27:29,352 --> 00:27:31,261
Thank you.
357
00:27:35,901 --> 00:27:38,060
The woman in question.
if I understand it correctly...
358
00:27:38,153 --> 00:27:40,442
she was your pilates instructor.
359
00:27:40,531 --> 00:27:44,399
- Um. Well...
- Yeah, are you watching this?
360
00:27:44,494 --> 00:27:47,032
- Unfortunately, yes.
- I mean. Not beautiful
like you are. Honey.
361
00:27:47,122 --> 00:27:50,787
- Oh, that's good.
- Why won't hejust say
what I told him to say?
362
00:27:50,876 --> 00:27:53,545
- He's an actor. He's improvising.
- Give me his cell phone number.
363
00:27:53,629 --> 00:27:55,456
They won't let him take
his cell phone to the set.
364
00:27:55,548 --> 00:27:58,217
Well, just get me
any number, okay, Janet?
365
00:27:58,301 --> 00:28:00,293
Coast Guard, the police.
366
00:28:00,386 --> 00:28:02,925
Just get me a number before
he spontaneously combusts.
367
00:28:03,014 --> 00:28:05,137
Let me see if I can get
the power taken out in Atlanta.
368
00:28:06,435 --> 00:28:08,760
Okay, go.
369
00:28:08,854 --> 00:28:11,891
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
370
00:28:11,982 --> 00:28:14,225
Okay, got it. Bye.
371
00:28:40,013 --> 00:28:42,931
- You!
- Don't get mad. I'll clean it up.
372
00:28:45,645 --> 00:28:47,020
Don't move!
373
00:28:50,608 --> 00:28:54,607
Look, look, this has just gotta
stop, okay? This is... This is wrong!
374
00:28:54,696 --> 00:28:57,532
You can't just go around breaking
into people's houses like this!
375
00:28:57,616 --> 00:28:59,656
It's against the law!
376
00:28:59,744 --> 00:29:02,579
I'm just gonna call
the police now, all right?
377
00:29:02,663 --> 00:29:04,656
Tell them...
378
00:29:20,475 --> 00:29:22,514
Do I know you?
379
00:29:22,602 --> 00:29:24,761
I don't know.
380
00:29:31,362 --> 00:29:33,271
Why do you keep
comin' back here?
381
00:29:37,619 --> 00:29:39,528
I came back to get my plane.
382
00:29:40,831 --> 00:29:44,745
- And then I saw the popcorn.
- Your plane?
383
00:29:44,835 --> 00:29:48,418
My mom gave it to me for Christmas.
How'd you get it?
384
00:29:48,506 --> 00:29:51,293
That is my plane, okay?
385
00:29:51,384 --> 00:29:54,219
My dad just dropped it off
over here.
386
00:29:54,304 --> 00:29:59,180
Okay? It was in his attic for a
long time. I've had that plane for 30...
387
00:30:11,615 --> 00:30:13,773
thirty years.
388
00:30:13,867 --> 00:30:15,611
Then why does it have
my name on it?
389
00:30:15,702 --> 00:30:18,787
Look. Right here.
"Rusty."
390
00:30:21,459 --> 00:30:23,452
Russell Morley Duritz.
391
00:30:23,544 --> 00:30:26,961
I hate that stupid name!
392
00:30:27,048 --> 00:30:29,456
How'd you know my name?
393
00:30:29,551 --> 00:30:34,973
- Mother's name is Gloria.
Your father's name is Sam.
- How do you know all that?
394
00:30:35,057 --> 00:30:37,809
- Your sister's name is Joanne.
- But everybody calls her...
395
00:30:37,894 --> 00:30:40,301
- Josie.
- Josie.
396
00:31:23,861 --> 00:31:25,854
Hi.
397
00:31:27,782 --> 00:31:30,154
Hi.
398
00:31:30,243 --> 00:31:34,111
Are you who I think you are?
399
00:31:34,206 --> 00:31:36,662
I don't know.
400
00:31:36,750 --> 00:31:40,001
How did I get here?
401
00:31:40,087 --> 00:31:41,795
I don't know.
402
00:31:44,259 --> 00:31:46,501
Holy smokes.
403
00:31:46,594 --> 00:31:49,549
How old are you?
404
00:31:49,639 --> 00:31:52,510
Forty in a couple days.
405
00:31:52,601 --> 00:31:56,302
That is old.
406
00:31:57,648 --> 00:32:00,982
I'm turning eight in a couple days.
407
00:32:01,069 --> 00:32:04,236
Eight.
408
00:32:04,322 --> 00:32:06,315
You're eight.
409
00:32:07,826 --> 00:32:09,024
I'm eight.
410
00:32:09,119 --> 00:32:11,361
This is scary.
411
00:32:11,455 --> 00:32:14,243
No.
412
00:32:14,333 --> 00:32:16,540
This is hilarious.
413
00:32:31,602 --> 00:32:36,942
All right. I'm just going to
the kitchen. I'm gonna make a sandwich.
414
00:32:37,025 --> 00:32:40,311
There's safety in sandwiches.
415
00:32:40,404 --> 00:32:44,484
See?
There's safety in sandwiches, see?
416
00:32:44,575 --> 00:32:49,617
It's funny how he knew
that we called Joanne "Josie."
417
00:32:49,706 --> 00:32:54,202
But only I know
the secret name...
418
00:32:54,294 --> 00:32:59,040
I had for Aunt Cathy when she
was having her epileptic spells.
419
00:32:59,133 --> 00:33:01,126
Aunt Spazzy!
420
00:33:03,304 --> 00:33:06,305
Safety.
Safety in a sandwich.
421
00:33:06,391 --> 00:33:08,467
Safety in a sandwich.
422
00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:11,561
Safety in a sandwich.
Safety...
423
00:33:14,024 --> 00:33:15,223
Get out!
424
00:33:15,317 --> 00:33:17,606
Okay, hallucination?
Get out!
425
00:33:17,695 --> 00:33:19,604
- Am I having a nightmare?
- No.
426
00:33:19,697 --> 00:33:21,820
You are not having
a nightmare, you see.
427
00:33:21,908 --> 00:33:24,826
You do not exist.
428
00:33:24,911 --> 00:33:29,490
I am having a nightmare, okay,
and my nervous breakdown.
429
00:33:29,583 --> 00:33:32,253
This is my first nervous breakdown,
so I'm not quite sure
how they're supposed to go.
430
00:33:32,336 --> 00:33:35,172
But I'm pretty sure that I'm dreaming,
you understand? Dreaming! Dreaming!
431
00:33:35,256 --> 00:33:37,794
Dreaming! Dreaming!
Okay?
432
00:33:37,884 --> 00:33:40,007
I don't think you're dreaming...
433
00:33:40,095 --> 00:33:42,847
'cause you're talking,
and your eye is sort of twitching.
434
00:33:42,931 --> 00:33:47,510
Hey! I don't have time
to go crazy, okay?
435
00:33:47,603 --> 00:33:50,355
So if you want me to go crazy,
you're gonna have to get on the phone...
436
00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:54,485
and call Janet just like everybody else
and schedule an appointment!
437
00:33:56,071 --> 00:33:58,443
Ah. Ah, good. Okay.
438
00:33:58,532 --> 00:34:00,857
Make contact with the outside world.
439
00:34:00,951 --> 00:34:03,988
- Hi, Janet. It's Russ.
- Hi. You okay?
- No, no, good.
440
00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:08,078
Uh-huh. Nothing. Fine. No,
I just came upstairs to return my calls.
441
00:34:08,167 --> 00:34:11,667
You wanna hear something funny?
I was downstairs and now I'm upstairs.
442
00:34:11,755 --> 00:34:13,379
- Hey.
- You see...
443
00:34:13,465 --> 00:34:17,000
- You dropped this.
- Russ. Hello?
444
00:34:17,094 --> 00:34:20,795
Safety in a sandwich.
Safety in a sandwich. Safety!
445
00:34:20,890 --> 00:34:23,761
Safety in a sandwich.
446
00:34:28,565 --> 00:34:31,139
You are just a hallucination!
447
00:34:31,235 --> 00:34:33,773
One that is about to disappear.
448
00:34:36,157 --> 00:34:38,648
Prepare to disappear!
449
00:34:43,373 --> 00:34:45,413
Prepare to disappear.
450
00:34:47,544 --> 00:34:49,454
I'm sitting on the floor.
451
00:34:49,546 --> 00:34:52,216
I'm taking
the very powerful medication.
452
00:34:52,300 --> 00:34:55,669
Just waiting for it to kick in.
Prepare to disappear!
453
00:35:08,192 --> 00:35:10,766
Disappeared?
454
00:35:10,862 --> 00:35:13,697
Very powerful medicine
seems to be working.
455
00:35:16,910 --> 00:35:19,235
I'm still here.
456
00:35:51,949 --> 00:35:54,321
I'm not throwing your dismembered
enemies into the Dumpster.
457
00:35:54,410 --> 00:35:56,319
I've got my limits.
458
00:35:58,915 --> 00:36:02,331
Do you remember when I had you sign
those confidentiality papers
at the office?
459
00:36:02,419 --> 00:36:04,826
- Yeah.
- And do you remember me telling you...
460
00:36:04,921 --> 00:36:08,789
that if you ever said anything
to anyone about anything that
happens in this company...
461
00:36:08,884 --> 00:36:12,716
that I would not only sue you,
but I would bring you to financial ruin?
462
00:36:12,805 --> 00:36:15,676
Snore.
463
00:36:15,767 --> 00:36:17,759
Okay, then.
464
00:36:34,621 --> 00:36:38,666
You can, uh...
You can see him?
465
00:36:40,002 --> 00:36:43,585
Yes, I, um, can.
466
00:36:43,672 --> 00:36:46,424
You could see a little boy
standing there?
467
00:36:46,509 --> 00:36:49,000
Yes.
468
00:36:49,095 --> 00:36:51,302
I'm pretty sure.
469
00:36:52,557 --> 00:36:54,550
Okay.
470
00:36:58,355 --> 00:37:01,522
This little boy is me at age eight.
471
00:37:01,609 --> 00:37:04,017
And I want you
to make him disappear.
472
00:37:04,112 --> 00:37:05,820
- He's you?
- Yeah.
473
00:37:05,905 --> 00:37:07,020
- At age eight?
- Mm-hmm.
474
00:37:07,115 --> 00:37:11,030
And you want me
to make him disappear?
475
00:37:11,119 --> 00:37:13,907
Please.
476
00:37:13,998 --> 00:37:16,406
- How was the therapist this morning?
- Do it, Janet!
477
00:37:16,500 --> 00:37:20,830
- How am I supposed to make
a kid disappear?
- Hey, you are the assistant!
478
00:37:20,922 --> 00:37:22,831
Figure it out, okay?
479
00:37:22,924 --> 00:37:25,083
You yelled at me!
That is great. That... That helps.
480
00:37:25,177 --> 00:37:26,885
I feel I'm thinking more clearly.
481
00:37:26,970 --> 00:37:31,265
I-I feel I-I'm just more in touch
with my, my magic assistant powers.
482
00:37:32,393 --> 00:37:35,727
Alakazam, alakazam.
Dalakazam kazoo.
483
00:37:35,813 --> 00:37:38,305
Boom! Presto! Ha!
484
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:42,729
- Hi.
- Didn't work.
485
00:37:42,821 --> 00:37:45,063
I should've worn
my magic bra and panties.
486
00:37:46,450 --> 00:37:48,277
Get in the car.
487
00:37:49,871 --> 00:37:52,623
- I'm really disappointed in you, Janet.
- Oh, fired, I hope.
488
00:37:52,707 --> 00:37:56,326
- No. Forget about your bonus.
- Oh, boo hoo. What about my dental?
489
00:37:56,419 --> 00:37:59,374
My boss appears
to have lost his mind.
490
00:37:59,465 --> 00:38:02,086
Sure you wouldn't rather
stay here with me?
491
00:38:02,176 --> 00:38:03,670
I'll be okay.
492
00:38:08,391 --> 00:38:13,303
Waaah! Waaah!
Somebody call the "waaambulance"!
493
00:38:14,857 --> 00:38:17,099
What are you
crying about anyway?
494
00:38:17,192 --> 00:38:18,817
I just wanna go home.
495
00:38:18,903 --> 00:38:21,109
Well, I'm trying
to get you home, okay?
496
00:38:21,197 --> 00:38:23,984
- Am I in trouble?
- You're gonna be in trouble
if you wipe that snot...
497
00:38:24,075 --> 00:38:27,160
on my calfskin seat...
Don't do it.
498
00:38:27,245 --> 00:38:29,285
Just try and remember
where you live, okay?
499
00:38:29,373 --> 00:38:33,418
- You should know that.
- Well, I don't know that.
We moved 12 times.
500
00:38:33,502 --> 00:38:35,495
We move a dozen times?
501
00:38:35,588 --> 00:38:40,381
- Yes. A dozen is 12. We moved 12 times.
- What happens?
502
00:38:40,468 --> 00:38:42,508
What happens?
A big truck comes...
503
00:38:42,595 --> 00:38:45,597
they put all your stuff inside,
and you move to another house.
504
00:38:45,682 --> 00:38:49,098
- Twelve times.
- Look! There it is right there!
Remember it now?
505
00:38:58,613 --> 00:39:02,825
- No.
- Look, that's where we
fell off the roof last year.
506
00:39:02,910 --> 00:39:08,616
That's the bush we fell onto.
And that's where the really big possum
crawled under the house.
507
00:39:08,708 --> 00:39:11,709
- Remember?
- Yeah, that was one of
life's big events...
508
00:39:11,794 --> 00:39:13,752
when the possum
crawled under the house.
509
00:39:13,838 --> 00:39:17,671
- How could I forget?
- You don't remember the possum?
510
00:39:17,759 --> 00:39:19,752
It was, like, this big!
511
00:39:19,845 --> 00:39:23,131
And it had
really long teeth.
512
00:39:23,224 --> 00:39:27,436
He took our sneaker
in his mouth and ran off with it.
You've gotta remember that.
513
00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:29,727
Hey, I don't remember
the possum, okay?
514
00:39:30,941 --> 00:39:33,099
I hardly remember
living here at all.
515
00:39:33,193 --> 00:39:36,360
But you do, and that's
all that counts. Get out.
516
00:39:39,241 --> 00:39:43,571
Wait.
The house. It's different.
517
00:39:45,248 --> 00:39:48,333
- Bye, honey.
- Who are they?
518
00:39:53,424 --> 00:39:56,129
What am I gonna do?
519
00:39:59,597 --> 00:40:00,842
What now?
520
00:40:03,476 --> 00:40:06,478
Hey, will you knock off
the waterworks, okay?
521
00:40:06,563 --> 00:40:10,858
You know what the number one killer of
kids under the age of 8 is? Self-pity.
522
00:40:10,943 --> 00:40:13,019
And you're already pitiful enough.
523
00:40:13,112 --> 00:40:15,401
Well, at least I don't do this!
524
00:40:18,326 --> 00:40:20,153
Nice.
525
00:40:22,789 --> 00:40:28,413
Chester! Here, boy!
Come on, Chester!
526
00:40:28,504 --> 00:40:30,912
Chester!
527
00:40:31,007 --> 00:40:34,376
Here, boy!
Come on, Chester!
528
00:40:35,929 --> 00:40:38,218
Chester!
529
00:40:38,307 --> 00:40:41,723
Come on, Chester!
Chester!
530
00:40:41,810 --> 00:40:43,720
Here, boy!
Come on, Chester!
531
00:40:43,813 --> 00:40:46,185
- Chester!
- Kid, will you stop that yelling?
532
00:40:46,274 --> 00:40:49,192
- Chester!
- Hey! Now!
533
00:40:50,570 --> 00:40:52,777
Where's Chester?
534
00:40:52,864 --> 00:40:55,901
- Who is Chester?
- My dog.
535
00:40:55,993 --> 00:40:58,318
The dog I'm going to get
when I grow up.
536
00:40:58,412 --> 00:41:02,660
- Oh.
- The world's greatest dog.
537
00:41:02,750 --> 00:41:05,123
The one who rides
in the back of my truck...
538
00:41:05,211 --> 00:41:08,213
plays Frisbee,
goes everywhere I go.
539
00:41:08,298 --> 00:41:12,130
- Chester!
- Bad news, kid.
540
00:41:12,219 --> 00:41:15,968
- No dog here.
- What do you mean?
541
00:41:16,057 --> 00:41:19,177
I mean no dog.
There's no dog here.
542
00:41:19,268 --> 00:41:23,480
- I don't own a dog.
- No dog? No dog?
543
00:41:23,565 --> 00:41:27,515
- I grow up to be a guy with no dog?
- That's right.
544
00:41:27,611 --> 00:41:31,526
- Why don't I have a dog?
- Because I don't want a dog, okay?
545
00:41:32,742 --> 00:41:35,909
I can't take care of a dog.
546
00:41:35,995 --> 00:41:38,284
I travel all the time for work.
547
00:41:38,373 --> 00:41:40,580
You travel for work?
548
00:41:40,667 --> 00:41:43,419
I grow up to fly jets, right?
I knew it!
549
00:41:43,504 --> 00:41:46,291
I knew I would grow up
to fly jets!
550
00:41:46,382 --> 00:41:48,375
Uh, no.
551
00:41:48,467 --> 00:41:52,003
- No, I don't fly jets?
- Not really, no.
552
00:41:52,096 --> 00:41:55,715
- What do I do then?
- You're an image consultant.
553
00:41:55,809 --> 00:41:59,012
What's that?
554
00:41:59,104 --> 00:42:00,931
Uh, it's...
555
00:42:01,023 --> 00:42:04,226
- What does a consultant do?
- Consult.
556
00:42:04,318 --> 00:42:07,106
But what do I do?
557
00:42:07,196 --> 00:42:09,901
You don't do anything.
You tell other people what to do.
558
00:42:09,991 --> 00:42:12,031
That's the fun of it.
You boss people around.
559
00:42:12,119 --> 00:42:14,076
Like this. Stop talking!
560
00:42:19,210 --> 00:42:22,294
Shouldn't there be
a lady here somewhere?
561
00:42:22,380 --> 00:42:26,295
What do you mean, a lady living here?
No. I live alone.
562
00:42:26,384 --> 00:42:29,339
I thought you said
you were 40.
563
00:42:29,429 --> 00:42:32,466
I said I was almost 40.
So?
564
00:42:32,558 --> 00:42:35,594
So, I'm 40,
I'm not married...
565
00:42:35,686 --> 00:42:38,641
I don't fly jets,
and I don't have a dog?
566
00:42:41,025 --> 00:42:43,314
I grow up to be a loser.
567
00:42:45,906 --> 00:42:49,524
John Jacob
Jingleheimer Schmidt
568
00:42:49,618 --> 00:42:52,655
That's my name too
569
00:42:52,747 --> 00:42:56,282
Whenever we go out
the people always shout
570
00:42:56,376 --> 00:42:58,415
There goes John Jacob
Jingleheimer Schmidt
571
00:42:58,503 --> 00:43:00,330
Da na na na na na na
572
00:43:00,422 --> 00:43:03,838
John Jacob
Jingleheimer Schmidt
573
00:43:03,926 --> 00:43:06,880
That's my name too
574
00:43:06,971 --> 00:43:10,091
Whenever we go out
the people always shout
575
00:43:10,183 --> 00:43:12,508
There goes John Jacob
Jingleheimer Schmidt
576
00:43:12,602 --> 00:43:15,520
Da na na na na na na
577
00:43:15,605 --> 00:43:19,140
Wow!
Look at it! Man!
578
00:43:19,234 --> 00:43:23,315
Gee! Holy smokes!
Holy Moses!
579
00:43:23,406 --> 00:43:25,315
Look at the moon!
580
00:43:27,118 --> 00:43:29,574
- Wow! Far out!
- Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Stop that yelling!
581
00:43:29,662 --> 00:43:31,821
- Holy Moses!
- What are you doing up?
582
00:43:31,915 --> 00:43:33,991
Look at it!
It's huge!
583
00:43:34,084 --> 00:43:37,619
What is with you people?
It's the moon, okay?
584
00:43:37,713 --> 00:43:40,121
You travel 30 years
across time...
585
00:43:40,216 --> 00:43:43,087
and all you can do is stand out here
and scream about the moon coming up?
586
00:43:43,177 --> 00:43:47,128
But you can see the man in the moon
really good tonight!
587
00:43:47,224 --> 00:43:49,347
Well, did he speak to you?
588
00:43:49,434 --> 00:43:51,511
Did he invite you up
for a little bit of cheese?
589
00:43:51,603 --> 00:43:54,095
Did he blow fart bubbles
out of his butt, huh?
590
00:43:54,190 --> 00:43:56,182
Because if he didn't,
then there really isn't any reason...
591
00:43:56,275 --> 00:43:58,351
to be excited about the moon, is there?
592
00:43:58,444 --> 00:44:01,979
Sorry.
I'll never get excited again.
593
00:44:02,073 --> 00:44:03,983
Obviously.
594
00:44:05,369 --> 00:44:06,863
Wait!
595
00:44:06,954 --> 00:44:09,196
Can I ask you a question?
596
00:44:11,125 --> 00:44:14,909
Why does the moon get,
like, orangy sometimes?
597
00:44:18,258 --> 00:44:22,303
Because there is a, uh...
598
00:44:22,387 --> 00:44:24,961
a band of, uh...
599
00:44:31,314 --> 00:44:35,526
Just shut up
and go to sleep, okay?
600
00:44:35,610 --> 00:44:37,733
Or better yet, go away!
601
00:44:37,821 --> 00:44:42,199
I knew it! I grow up to be a guy
who doesn't know anything!
602
00:44:43,869 --> 00:44:46,574
And who doesn't have a dog!
603
00:44:52,295 --> 00:44:55,795
John Jacob
Jingleheimer Schmidt
604
00:44:55,883 --> 00:44:58,884
That's my name too
605
00:45:04,684 --> 00:45:06,677
Kid?
606
00:45:18,866 --> 00:45:20,575
Good.
607
00:45:27,251 --> 00:45:31,083
Maybe Russ here can explain it a little
bit better than I've been able to. Russ?
608
00:45:31,172 --> 00:45:33,129
Here's how we see things,
Mr Vivian.
609
00:45:33,216 --> 00:45:35,754
Call me Vivian.
610
00:45:35,843 --> 00:45:37,753
Okay. Vivian.
611
00:45:37,846 --> 00:45:40,171
You're going public,
you're making an IPO...
612
00:45:40,265 --> 00:45:42,174
your software's brilliant,
and that's all great.
613
00:45:42,267 --> 00:45:45,434
But if you wanna make Fortune 500,
you have to understand...
614
00:45:45,521 --> 00:45:48,059
that at a certain point, people are
gonna want to get a good look at you.
615
00:45:48,149 --> 00:45:49,727
And that's where things
get a little dicey.
616
00:45:49,817 --> 00:45:52,487
Dicey. That's right.
Very, very dicey.
617
00:45:52,570 --> 00:45:55,774
I don't see why I
have to change a thing.
618
00:45:55,866 --> 00:45:58,238
Okay. Let's look at this.
619
00:45:58,327 --> 00:46:00,735
- You live in a cabin...
- I won't cut my hair...
620
00:46:00,829 --> 00:46:03,784
and I won't shave my beard.
621
00:46:05,710 --> 00:46:07,786
Let me give it to you
straight, Z.Z.
622
00:46:07,879 --> 00:46:10,880
If you wanna ride your cow to Farm Aid,
you don't have to change a thing.
623
00:46:10,966 --> 00:46:12,875
But if you wanna make the front page
of the Wall Street Journal...
624
00:46:12,968 --> 00:46:15,506
there is one thing you're
going to have to change.
625
00:46:16,931 --> 00:46:18,639
The, uh...
626
00:46:21,269 --> 00:46:24,970
To, um... Uh...
627
00:46:28,402 --> 00:46:31,107
- Someone you know?
- What?
628
00:46:31,196 --> 00:46:34,400
- Friend of yours?
- No!
629
00:46:34,492 --> 00:46:36,781
It... It's a little boy.
630
00:46:36,869 --> 00:46:39,740
- Hello!
- I don't know any little kids.
631
00:46:39,831 --> 00:46:42,239
- I'm starving!
- Just tragic that parents...
632
00:46:42,334 --> 00:46:44,326
would send their kids out
to beg like that.
633
00:46:44,419 --> 00:46:46,542
- Very, very sad.
- I can't believe it.
- Russ!
634
00:46:46,630 --> 00:46:49,501
Russ Duritz, I'm hungry!
635
00:46:49,592 --> 00:46:53,886
Feed me!
Ugh! I'm hungry!
636
00:46:53,971 --> 00:46:58,301
If you'll excuse me for
just a moment, please.
637
00:46:58,393 --> 00:47:00,931
What are you doing here?
I thought you disappeared.
638
00:47:01,021 --> 00:47:04,355
- I don't know how to disappear.
I'm hungry!
- Hello.
639
00:47:07,153 --> 00:47:09,442
I'm Amy. Who are you?
640
00:47:09,530 --> 00:47:11,523
I'm Rusty.
641
00:47:12,867 --> 00:47:15,822
And who is Rusty?
642
00:47:15,912 --> 00:47:17,870
- My nephew.
- Your nephew?
643
00:47:17,956 --> 00:47:19,830
Yes. My sister's kid.
644
00:47:19,917 --> 00:47:24,045
- The one who's going
to college in the autumn?
- No. The other one.
645
00:47:24,130 --> 00:47:27,250
Melissa?
646
00:47:27,342 --> 00:47:30,259
Yes, Amy.
This is Melissa.
647
00:47:30,345 --> 00:47:32,302
No, it is the other one.
648
00:47:32,389 --> 00:47:35,556
- The one she doesn't like to talk about.
- Oh, I see.
649
00:47:35,642 --> 00:47:37,801
Which completely explains
why you never told me about him.
650
00:47:37,895 --> 00:47:40,351
Maybe I don't tell you every thing.
651
00:47:43,192 --> 00:47:45,185
So are you having fun
with your uncle?
652
00:47:45,278 --> 00:47:48,861
Not really.
He made me sleep outside...
653
00:47:48,949 --> 00:47:51,107
he didn't give me
any breakfast...
654
00:47:51,201 --> 00:47:53,278
and he doesn't have a dog.
655
00:47:53,370 --> 00:47:55,280
That is a problem.
656
00:47:55,373 --> 00:47:58,160
- You made him sleep outside?
- He slept in a tent.
657
00:47:58,251 --> 00:48:00,374
- You've got a tent?
- It was his tent.
658
00:48:00,462 --> 00:48:03,167
You didn't give him any breakfast.
659
00:48:03,256 --> 00:48:07,385
He can stand to miss a meal.
660
00:48:07,469 --> 00:48:11,514
Rusty, are you hungry?
661
00:48:11,599 --> 00:48:14,635
- Starved.
- Let's go and get some bacon and eggs.
662
00:48:14,727 --> 00:48:17,016
No, no, no, no.
Rusty can't have bacon and eggs.
663
00:48:17,105 --> 00:48:19,014
I've gotta get him
back to his mom right now.
664
00:48:19,107 --> 00:48:21,349
Don't forget Kenny's
this afternoon.
665
00:48:21,443 --> 00:48:24,148
- Bye, Rusty!
- Bye!
666
00:48:24,238 --> 00:48:26,646
Nice to meet you.
667
00:48:33,289 --> 00:48:37,240
- Just get that moony look off your face.
- I like that Amy lady.
668
00:48:37,336 --> 00:48:40,005
I bet she likes dogs.
669
00:48:40,089 --> 00:48:42,461
I don't know what's worse,
the fact that I'm stuck with you...
670
00:48:42,550 --> 00:48:44,459
or the idea that I don't
know what to do about it.
671
00:48:44,552 --> 00:48:46,509
Why don't we eat something?
672
00:48:46,596 --> 00:48:50,345
Why? Because you don't know what to do,
you just wanna stuff your face?
673
00:48:50,433 --> 00:48:53,933
No, because it says to
up there in the sky.
674
00:48:59,026 --> 00:49:02,941
Okay. Why don't we
eat something?
675
00:49:06,785 --> 00:49:08,694
What can I get ya?
676
00:49:08,787 --> 00:49:11,907
Um, I'll have French toast,
pancakes and bacon.
677
00:49:13,042 --> 00:49:15,959
- Just bring him something healthy, okay?
- Sorry, sir.
678
00:49:16,045 --> 00:49:18,667
We only serve
starchy, sugary, salty food...
679
00:49:18,756 --> 00:49:22,208
high in fat and cholesterol
that tastes delicious.
680
00:49:22,302 --> 00:49:24,591
Comforts people
deep down inside.
681
00:49:24,680 --> 00:49:27,385
Okay. I'll have French toast,
pancakes and bacon.
682
00:49:27,474 --> 00:49:30,392
- You want a milk shake with that?
- Chocolate, please.
683
00:49:30,478 --> 00:49:33,395
Extra whipped cream.
684
00:49:33,481 --> 00:49:37,978
- And for you?
- You know, I think I'd just
like the magic bean omelet.
685
00:49:38,069 --> 00:49:42,566
Aw, did somebody not get their
coffee today? I'm gonna go get it!
686
00:49:42,658 --> 00:49:45,114
Maybe you can bring it
before the diner disappears.
687
00:49:45,202 --> 00:49:47,325
What are you
lookin' at, Sparky?
688
00:49:48,497 --> 00:49:50,407
Oh, man.
689
00:49:52,836 --> 00:49:56,252
- What are you doing here?
- Having French toast,
pancakes and bacon.
690
00:49:56,339 --> 00:49:59,839
That's not what I'm talking about.
What did you come here for?
691
00:50:01,136 --> 00:50:04,054
I don't know.
My model aeroplane?
692
00:50:04,140 --> 00:50:06,975
Well, you already got that,
and we're still screwed up.
693
00:50:07,060 --> 00:50:10,263
We're even more screwed up
than we were before.
694
00:50:12,357 --> 00:50:15,561
- What am I gonna do with you?
- What do you wanna do with me?
695
00:50:15,652 --> 00:50:17,729
I want to put you
on a diet, chubby!
696
00:50:17,822 --> 00:50:20,574
Fix you up so you aren't
such a pathetic loser.
697
00:50:20,658 --> 00:50:24,407
This is what I do
for a living, okay?
698
00:50:24,496 --> 00:50:28,280
Making people look good
is what I do.
699
00:50:28,375 --> 00:50:31,625
Problem is...
700
00:50:31,712 --> 00:50:35,081
there's so much to do with you,
I don't know where to start.
701
00:50:35,174 --> 00:50:38,045
Well, I'd like to not get
my butt kicked so much.
702
00:50:38,136 --> 00:50:40,888
Kids are always laughing at us.
703
00:50:40,972 --> 00:50:44,804
It sorta hurts my feelings.
704
00:50:44,893 --> 00:50:46,637
Why didn't I think of this before?
705
00:50:46,728 --> 00:50:49,765
This is what you came for, okay?
706
00:50:49,857 --> 00:50:53,309
I just gotta teach you
how to fight. By the way...
707
00:50:53,402 --> 00:50:55,312
they're not laughing at us,
they're laughing at you.
708
00:50:55,405 --> 00:50:57,481
When you get to be me,
they laugh, they die!
709
00:50:57,574 --> 00:51:00,361
- They laugh, they die?
- Yes.
710
00:51:00,452 --> 00:51:03,406
You laugh, you die!
You laugh, you die!
711
00:51:03,497 --> 00:51:05,704
You laugh, you die!
Pow! Pow!
712
00:51:05,791 --> 00:51:09,836
Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow!
Pow! Pow! Pow!
713
00:51:09,921 --> 00:51:13,088
- Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow!
- Okay, okay. Okay, okay, shut up! Shut...
714
00:51:13,174 --> 00:51:16,294
- Hey, guess what.
- What?
- I gotta pee.
715
00:51:16,386 --> 00:51:20,301
Are you sure you know someone
who can teach me how to fight?
716
00:51:20,391 --> 00:51:23,012
Yeah, I think
I could find somebody.
717
00:51:25,563 --> 00:51:28,517
Isn't it cool how we both
have to go at the same time?
718
00:51:28,608 --> 00:51:32,653
Yes. I'll cherish this moment
for a lifetime.
719
00:51:44,355 --> 00:51:46,893
- I'm just gonna have one more piece.
Just one... Just one more piece.
- What do you think of this one?
720
00:51:46,982 --> 00:51:48,975
- Hey!
- It's too short.
- Oh, God.
721
00:51:49,068 --> 00:51:52,402
Please tell me that's not... Hey.
722
00:51:52,489 --> 00:51:54,481
You're five weeks away
from defending your title.
723
00:51:54,574 --> 00:51:56,567
- What are you doing eating pizza?
- But I... I'm a nervous eater.
724
00:51:56,660 --> 00:51:59,116
- Beat it.
- You'd be nervous too if you was
getting married tomorrow.
725
00:51:59,204 --> 00:52:03,867
Yeah, I'd be nervous
that my bride would dump me
because I'm a big, fat tub of lard.
726
00:52:03,960 --> 00:52:06,712
- Hi, Giselle.
- Hi, Russ.
727
00:52:09,674 --> 00:52:13,008
- What is that? Is that 20 more pounds?
- No.
728
00:52:13,095 --> 00:52:16,546
- Hey! Put the...
- Damn, he won't even let you eat, huh?
729
00:52:16,640 --> 00:52:18,966
- Does he look like he needs any pizza?
- Who is he?
730
00:52:19,060 --> 00:52:21,218
This is Russ's nephew, Rusty.
731
00:52:21,312 --> 00:52:24,978
Oh, I didn't know you had two nephews.
732
00:52:25,066 --> 00:52:27,522
- How do I look, baby? Look.
- Mmm, like Adonis.
733
00:52:28,945 --> 00:52:31,733
Hey, hey, Adonis. Adonis.
734
00:52:31,824 --> 00:52:34,529
- What?
- Can I use your boxing ring?
735
00:52:34,618 --> 00:52:36,695
I wanna give pudge-boy here
some lessons.
736
00:52:36,787 --> 00:52:40,702
- Maybe you could step in,
show him a few moves.
- Yeah, I would be glad to.
737
00:52:42,210 --> 00:52:47,003
That way, you can punch
his lights out the next time
he tries to call you pudge-boy.
738
00:52:47,091 --> 00:52:49,083
Groovy!
739
00:52:51,721 --> 00:52:54,888
First things first. You tryin'
to get knocked out or something?
740
00:52:54,974 --> 00:52:57,810
All right, well, then get your hands
up then. You gotta protect that chin.
741
00:52:57,894 --> 00:53:00,017
I pop you on that chin, that's it.
742
00:53:00,105 --> 00:53:04,020
Remember, this is number one, this is
number two. You punch one, two.
743
00:53:04,109 --> 00:53:07,479
One, two. Go ahead. Try it.
One... That's it. That's it.
744
00:53:07,571 --> 00:53:09,944
- Get out of the way.
- Come on.
745
00:53:11,409 --> 00:53:13,735
Come on. Good.
Come on. Come on.
746
00:53:15,914 --> 00:53:19,533
- You hit me.
- Yes, unfortunately, I did hit you...
747
00:53:19,626 --> 00:53:22,034
and I'm not gonna beat myself up
about it.
748
00:53:22,129 --> 00:53:24,288
Or maybe I will. Come on.
749
00:53:24,382 --> 00:53:26,458
Fight. Yeah.
Come on. Come on.
750
00:53:26,551 --> 00:53:29,635
Come on, kid.
Fight. Come on. Come on.
751
00:53:29,721 --> 00:53:33,589
- Hit him. One, two. One, two.
- Go on, Rusty. Punch his lights out!
752
00:53:33,684 --> 00:53:35,926
- Hey. Whose side are you on?
- Throw it. Throw it.
753
00:53:42,068 --> 00:53:44,524
Whoa, whoa!
Take it easy, little Tyson!
754
00:53:44,612 --> 00:53:47,020
What are you gonna do next,
bite his ear off? We don't
hit 'em when they're down.
755
00:53:47,115 --> 00:53:50,650
- They hit me when I'm down.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa! Who? Who? Who?
756
00:53:50,744 --> 00:53:54,577
- The kids at school.
- Kid's havin' some trouble at school.
757
00:53:54,665 --> 00:53:57,203
Well, why didn't you say that, Russ?
I'm teachin' the boy boxin'.
758
00:53:57,293 --> 00:53:59,286
He don't need that.
He needs street fightin'.
759
00:53:59,379 --> 00:54:01,835
Why don't you show him that WWF
scissors hold? Show him that one.
760
00:54:01,923 --> 00:54:04,711
- Here we go. Ready?
- Whoa!
761
00:54:04,801 --> 00:54:07,340
Now that I can use.
762
00:54:08,264 --> 00:54:10,470
Get off me.
763
00:54:17,649 --> 00:54:19,558
Have you noticed
how alike those two are?
764
00:54:19,651 --> 00:54:21,727
Makes sense.
They're related, right?
765
00:54:23,530 --> 00:54:25,523
I suppose so.
766
00:54:29,454 --> 00:54:32,027
Russ Duritz's office.
How may I help you?
767
00:54:32,123 --> 00:54:34,081
- Yeah, it's me. What's up?
- Oh. It's you.
768
00:54:34,167 --> 00:54:37,085
I hadn't heard from you in four hours.
I'd assumed you were dead.
769
00:54:37,170 --> 00:54:39,626
- Hey, how's mini-you?
- That's hilarious, Janet.
770
00:54:39,715 --> 00:54:42,467
- What's up?
- You got 19 messages, last count.
771
00:54:42,551 --> 00:54:44,129
- You want 'em?
- Let me have 'em.
772
00:54:44,220 --> 00:54:47,720
Let's see, uh...
Bob Riley.
773
00:54:47,807 --> 00:54:51,390
Bob Riley. Not Bob Riley.
Not Bob Riley. Bob Riley.
774
00:54:51,478 --> 00:54:55,143
Bob Riley. I'm sure there's another one
in here. Just a second.
Here's Bob Riley.
775
00:54:56,066 --> 00:54:58,059
Hey!
776
00:55:00,112 --> 00:55:01,939
Hey, Amy. Where are you going?
777
00:55:02,031 --> 00:55:04,024
My place for some ice cream.
See you there.
778
00:55:04,117 --> 00:55:06,275
- Ice cream?
- Bye!
779
00:55:14,462 --> 00:55:18,127
- Can I ask you a question?
- Sure.
780
00:55:18,216 --> 00:55:20,292
Are you our girlfriend?
781
00:55:22,470 --> 00:55:25,222
That's a funny way of putting it.
782
00:55:25,307 --> 00:55:27,466
Mostly, no.
783
00:55:28,686 --> 00:55:31,259
- Can I ask you a question?
- Sure.
784
00:55:31,355 --> 00:55:34,025
Are you our nephew?
785
00:55:35,568 --> 00:55:37,561
Mostly...
786
00:55:39,614 --> 00:55:41,691
no.
787
00:55:43,577 --> 00:55:46,495
- But you are related, aren't you?
- Uh-huh.
788
00:55:47,957 --> 00:55:50,365
- How close?
- Pretty.
789
00:55:50,460 --> 00:55:52,583
How close is pretty close?
790
00:55:53,588 --> 00:55:55,213
Pretty darn.
791
00:55:58,969 --> 00:56:01,176
Oh, my God.
792
00:56:01,263 --> 00:56:02,971
- Hi.
- He's your son.
793
00:56:03,057 --> 00:56:05,679
- What?
- He's your son! You have a son!
794
00:56:05,768 --> 00:56:08,390
Hey! Whatcha... Get off! Hey!
795
00:56:08,480 --> 00:56:10,519
And all this time
you never even breathed a word!
796
00:56:10,607 --> 00:56:15,234
And you're some deadbeat dad who had
visitation rights today or something.
797
00:56:15,320 --> 00:56:17,444
- Amy, do you know how...
- And who's the mother, anyway?
798
00:56:17,531 --> 00:56:21,529
Don't tell me. I don't wanna know.
I know. It's that Swedish chick,
isn't it?
799
00:56:21,619 --> 00:56:24,324
Yeah, that Ingesborg or Smorgasbord
or whatever her name is.
800
00:56:24,414 --> 00:56:28,246
- Inga?
- Not that I care, of course,
about who or where or what you do!
801
00:56:28,335 --> 00:56:32,547
- Amy, he is not Swedish.
- And I'm not his son.
802
00:56:32,631 --> 00:56:34,375
Honest.
803
00:56:36,552 --> 00:56:39,470
Then who are you?
804
00:56:45,520 --> 00:56:48,012
Russ?
805
00:56:49,608 --> 00:56:54,271
Because I've been watching the two
of you together, and I swear to God...
806
00:56:54,364 --> 00:56:56,356
there's something very...
807
00:56:57,325 --> 00:56:59,069
strange going on.
808
00:57:00,746 --> 00:57:03,581
- We have to tell her.
- We are not going to tell her.
809
00:57:03,666 --> 00:57:06,418
- Tell me what?
- Come on. Do it!
810
00:57:06,502 --> 00:57:09,622
Hey! Zip it!
We're not gonna tell her, okay?
811
00:57:09,714 --> 00:57:12,751
Besides, she won't believe us anyway.
She'll just think you take after me.
812
00:57:12,842 --> 00:57:15,381
- Then do the knuckle.
- That's not gonna convince her.
813
00:57:15,470 --> 00:57:18,922
Then tell her something
only I would know, and then
she can ask me about the same thing.
814
00:57:19,016 --> 00:57:22,681
- Like Aunt Spazzy.
- How is that gonna work? Think about it.
815
00:57:22,770 --> 00:57:25,641
- Then show her the scar.
- Anybody could have a scar.
816
00:57:25,732 --> 00:57:28,519
- What about the birthmark?
- Well, that could be a coincidence too.
817
00:57:28,610 --> 00:57:31,148
- I know she'll believe us.
- She is not going to believe us.
818
00:57:31,238 --> 00:57:34,155
- I know she'll believe us.
- She is not going to believe us.
819
00:57:34,241 --> 00:57:36,068
- She will!
- She won't!
- She will!
- She won't!
820
00:57:36,160 --> 00:57:38,069
- She will!
- Hey!
821
00:57:38,162 --> 00:57:40,238
I wish I was standing
on a carpet.
822
00:57:46,755 --> 00:57:49,542
- Told ya.
- Amy.
823
00:57:50,884 --> 00:57:55,179
...aboard that ship in...
...which process the potatoes
into a variety of products.
824
00:58:00,895 --> 00:58:03,469
- Stop biting.
- Leave me alone.
825
00:58:04,858 --> 00:58:08,393
I'm advertising terror
and bewilderment.
826
00:58:08,487 --> 00:58:14,491
Holy smokes. Ninety-nine channels,
and there's nothing on.
827
00:58:16,121 --> 00:58:18,612
How can this be?
828
00:58:21,627 --> 00:58:23,619
I have no idea.
829
00:58:25,589 --> 00:58:27,582
Look at him.
830
00:58:27,675 --> 00:58:29,964
He's so embarrassing.
831
00:58:31,471 --> 00:58:34,342
You're not embarrassing.
832
00:58:34,432 --> 00:58:35,975
You're adorable.
833
00:58:39,355 --> 00:58:42,024
Then.
You're adorable then.
834
00:58:44,735 --> 00:58:47,191
Stop picking!
835
00:58:47,280 --> 00:58:50,815
Look at that haircut.
I look like Herman's Hermits.
836
00:58:50,909 --> 00:58:55,287
And I "shpeak" like I got
a mouth full of "shpit."
837
00:58:55,372 --> 00:58:57,282
Well, of course you do.
838
00:58:57,374 --> 00:59:01,075
Doesn't the fact that I'm
a pathetic dweeb make you despise me?
839
00:59:06,468 --> 00:59:08,924
No.
840
00:59:09,012 --> 00:59:11,254
Why?
841
00:59:11,348 --> 00:59:13,424
Do you despise you?
842
00:59:16,562 --> 00:59:19,647
When I look at him,
all I see are awful memories.
843
00:59:19,732 --> 00:59:22,650
Memories I have been spending
most of my life trying to forget.
844
00:59:26,573 --> 00:59:28,946
I'm sorry.
845
00:59:42,382 --> 00:59:44,921
Hello? Kenny.
846
00:59:45,010 --> 00:59:47,584
Nauseous about the wedding tomorrow?
847
00:59:47,680 --> 00:59:50,171
My God, the wedding tomorrow.
Hang on a minute.
848
00:59:50,266 --> 00:59:52,804
Wedding tomorrow.
What am I gonna do with him?
849
00:59:52,894 --> 00:59:55,266
- We'll take him with us.
- What?
850
00:59:55,355 --> 00:59:59,567
To an important event? Are you out
of your mind? Take him with us?
851
00:59:59,652 --> 01:00:02,855
This is an important event
with people who respect me.
852
01:00:02,947 --> 01:00:05,521
- He's gonna humiliate me.
- Hey!
853
01:00:05,616 --> 01:00:10,030
- Ohh.
- Hey! I forbid you
to bond with this boy!
854
01:00:10,121 --> 01:00:13,870
What, Kenny?
Who got sick?
855
01:00:29,685 --> 01:00:33,683
Thank goodness your nephew
replaced little James.
856
01:00:33,773 --> 01:00:37,901
None of the other children
was fat enough to fit in his clothes.
857
01:00:45,369 --> 01:00:48,536
It's okay. It's okay.
Don't worry about it.
858
01:00:48,622 --> 01:00:53,368
- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
- Yester-me. Yester-you
859
01:00:53,461 --> 01:00:57,791
- Yesterday
- Ooh-ooh
860
01:00:59,509 --> 01:01:01,668
What happened to
861
01:01:03,514 --> 01:01:05,922
The world we knew
862
01:01:07,894 --> 01:01:11,061
When we would dream and scheme
863
01:01:11,147 --> 01:01:15,477
-And while the time away
- Don't worry.
864
01:01:15,569 --> 01:01:20,361
Just take it off and shove it under
the table when no one's looking.
865
01:01:20,449 --> 01:01:21,943
- Really?
- Yeah.
866
01:01:24,996 --> 01:01:28,864
- Where did it go
- Where did it go
867
01:01:28,958 --> 01:01:32,126
That yester-glow
868
01:01:32,212 --> 01:01:33,375
- Ha-ha.
- Hello.
869
01:01:33,463 --> 01:01:37,877
- How are you?
- When we could feel
the wheels of life
870
01:01:37,968 --> 01:01:40,127
Turn our way
871
01:01:40,221 --> 01:01:44,515
Yester-me
Yester-you
872
01:01:44,601 --> 01:01:46,225
Yesterday
873
01:01:47,938 --> 01:01:51,224
- I know. Ohh...
- I had a dream
874
01:01:51,317 --> 01:01:52,894
So did you
875
01:01:52,985 --> 01:01:57,398
Life was warm
and love was true
876
01:01:59,033 --> 01:02:04,490
- Two kids who followed all the rules
- Holy smokes.
877
01:02:04,581 --> 01:02:06,241
- Russ! Russ!
- Yester-fools
878
01:02:06,333 --> 01:02:09,003
-And now. Now it seems
- Excuse me, Clarissa.
879
01:02:09,086 --> 01:02:12,538
- You're interrupting us. We're dancing.
- But it's really important.
880
01:02:12,632 --> 01:02:16,001
- Not now, kid.
- But it's really, really, rrrr...
881
01:02:16,094 --> 01:02:22,299
Werejust a cruel and foolish game
we had to play
882
01:02:22,392 --> 01:02:25,228
- Drivin' you crazy, huh?
- Yeah.
- Yester-me. Yester-you
883
01:02:25,312 --> 01:02:27,934
- It's different when they're your own.
Speaking of which,
- Yesterday
884
01:02:28,024 --> 01:02:30,859
when you gonna give up your evil ways
and settle down?
885
01:02:30,944 --> 01:02:32,983
- As soon as you become
available again, Clarissa.
- When I recall
886
01:02:33,071 --> 01:02:35,278
- I'm serious.
- So am I.
- What we had
887
01:02:35,365 --> 01:02:39,446
I feel lost
I feel sad
888
01:02:41,455 --> 01:02:46,450
- With nothing but the memory of
- Amy, I have a question.
889
01:02:46,544 --> 01:02:48,667
- Oh. Yester-love
- A big one.
890
01:02:48,755 --> 01:02:51,756
- Okay.
-And now. Now it seems
891
01:02:51,842 --> 01:02:53,881
What about that pretty woman
you came with today?
892
01:02:53,969 --> 01:02:56,258
- You mean Amy? Nah, we work together.
- Those yester-dreams
893
01:02:56,347 --> 01:03:01,093
- I've known her for a really long time.
- I know we haven't known each other
very long.
894
01:03:01,185 --> 01:03:05,433
Don't worry about me.
When I meet the right person,
I'm sure I'll get around to asking.
895
01:03:05,523 --> 01:03:07,979
- Yester-me. Yester-you
- In case I never get around to asking...
896
01:03:09,862 --> 01:03:11,854
- Yesterday
- Somebody's making a move right now.
897
01:03:11,947 --> 01:03:15,613
Oh. Come on and sing it
Yester-me
898
01:03:15,701 --> 01:03:17,445
- Yester-you
- Amy...
899
01:03:17,537 --> 01:03:20,988
- Yesterday
- Will you marry me?
900
01:03:21,082 --> 01:03:24,037
Oh. Yester-me
901
01:03:24,127 --> 01:03:26,286
- Yester-you
- Okay, let's go.
- Hey!
902
01:03:26,380 --> 01:03:29,417
- Yesterday
- Let me go, you big jerk!
903
01:03:30,551 --> 01:03:32,591
Wait a minute. Stop.
He asked me a question.
904
01:03:32,678 --> 01:03:34,387
- Don't you want to know
what I was going to say?
- No.
905
01:03:34,472 --> 01:03:37,723
- No?
- No. He had no right
asking you what he did, okay?
906
01:03:37,809 --> 01:03:40,016
- You and I aren't even...
- Well, we are!
- Since when?
907
01:03:40,103 --> 01:03:42,677
- MYOB!
- What?
908
01:03:42,773 --> 01:03:48,016
Mind your own beeswax.
Do you or do you not want to know
what I was going to say?
909
01:03:48,112 --> 01:03:51,528
- What were you gonna say?
- Yeah, what were you going to say?
910
01:03:51,616 --> 01:03:54,487
Try it again.
Less practised indifference.
911
01:03:54,578 --> 01:03:57,448
More warmth.
912
01:03:57,539 --> 01:04:00,457
- What were you going to say?
- What were you gonna say?
913
01:04:00,543 --> 01:04:02,950
So you want to know
what I was going to say.
914
01:04:05,506 --> 01:04:08,673
- Take a walk.
- I'm the one who asked her.
- Just go away.
915
01:04:20,940 --> 01:04:23,692
- What were you going to say?
- I was going to say...
916
01:04:24,861 --> 01:04:27,233
- I'll have to think about it.
- Oh, really?
- Yes.
917
01:04:27,322 --> 01:04:30,526
Because, impossibly,
what had previously seemed to me...
918
01:04:30,617 --> 01:04:34,069
to be the worst idea in the universe
has, over the last 12 hours...
919
01:04:34,163 --> 01:04:36,571
transmogrified into
not such a terrible idea...
920
01:04:36,666 --> 01:04:39,916
opening a very small
window of opportunity for you.
921
01:04:40,003 --> 01:04:41,996
- For me?
- Yeah.
922
01:04:42,088 --> 01:04:46,965
Ah. And what if I didn't want
to take advantage of this opportunity?
923
01:04:47,052 --> 01:04:51,347
A part of you obviously
wants to, and it is that part
of you that is causing me...
924
01:04:54,227 --> 01:04:56,303
to think about it.
925
01:05:09,494 --> 01:05:11,570
Are you...
926
01:05:11,663 --> 01:05:14,284
asking me...
927
01:05:14,374 --> 01:05:16,533
to think about it?
928
01:05:18,754 --> 01:05:21,541
Wait. Wait a minute.
929
01:05:21,632 --> 01:05:23,755
If you'll just wait, I...
930
01:05:23,843 --> 01:05:25,836
I'm gonna go get the valet... the car...
931
01:05:25,928 --> 01:05:28,680
the car from the...
932
01:05:31,560 --> 01:05:35,143
But now. Now he was ready
to start feeling the love.
933
01:05:35,230 --> 01:05:37,519
Oh. Yeah. Before the game this afternoon
with the visiting Orioles...
934
01:05:37,691 --> 01:05:41,440
Riley invited a dozen kids to barrage
him with chocolate cream pies...
935
01:05:41,529 --> 01:05:45,610
as a way to say. "I'm sorry. "
for what he claims is a simple case
of miscommunication.
936
01:05:46,868 --> 01:05:49,823
Uncle Bob knows how to party!
937
01:05:53,125 --> 01:05:55,201
This is so much fun!
938
01:06:00,508 --> 01:06:04,803
- Some of these guys...
- So you crawled through the Dumpster
behind the bar after I left.
939
01:06:12,355 --> 01:06:16,139
I shot that.
I'm part of this.
940
01:06:17,277 --> 01:06:19,649
Tell me, do you know for certain
that he turned the funds over...
941
01:06:19,738 --> 01:06:21,731
or is he maybe still sitting on them?
942
01:06:24,285 --> 01:06:26,361
Poor little Amy.
943
01:06:26,454 --> 01:06:28,779
Mixed up with a rotten boss...
944
01:06:28,873 --> 01:06:31,032
who feels obligated
to his clients.
945
01:06:32,460 --> 01:06:35,497
- Do you know that the number one
killer of young men...
- Russ!
946
01:06:35,589 --> 01:06:38,709
The person I am pitying here
is not me.
947
01:06:41,178 --> 01:06:43,420
Look, it's all my fault.
948
01:06:43,514 --> 01:06:46,136
I made the big, stupid mistake.
949
01:06:49,145 --> 01:06:50,556
I thought you'd change.
950
01:06:57,405 --> 01:07:00,110
I'm so sorry.
I'm really sorry.
951
01:07:03,077 --> 01:07:06,328
Do you want to know what the saddest
part of this whole thing is?
952
01:07:11,962 --> 01:07:14,454
You could have been great.
953
01:07:54,259 --> 01:07:56,715
Man. Man!
954
01:07:57,888 --> 01:08:00,973
When do we ever stop blowing it?
955
01:08:02,101 --> 01:08:05,138
Russ, we've gotta change.
956
01:08:06,898 --> 01:08:08,891
We have to change.
957
01:08:19,412 --> 01:08:22,081
That's pretty cool,
how we both have to, uh...
958
01:08:39,434 --> 01:08:42,768
- It's our birthday tomorrow.
- Yeah, I know.
959
01:08:42,854 --> 01:08:45,939
- Could I ask you a question?
- Sure.
960
01:08:46,024 --> 01:08:48,563
- What happens next?
- What do you mean?
961
01:08:48,652 --> 01:08:50,645
I mean to me.
962
01:08:51,781 --> 01:08:56,242
Between being me and becoming you.
What happens?
963
01:08:56,328 --> 01:09:00,990
- Do I ever do anything right?
- Well, sure you do.
You do a lot of things right.
964
01:09:01,083 --> 01:09:03,621
- Like what?
- Well...
965
01:09:05,171 --> 01:09:08,088
you make it through
grade school alive, barely.
966
01:09:09,258 --> 01:09:12,877
In high school,
while you're still a loser...
967
01:09:12,971 --> 01:09:15,213
you're no longer stupid.
968
01:09:15,307 --> 01:09:18,557
You work your butt off
and you get good grades.
969
01:09:18,644 --> 01:09:22,345
Very good grades. You end up
winning a scholarship to UCLA.
970
01:09:23,482 --> 01:09:26,353
- I'm smart?
- Very smart.
971
01:09:26,444 --> 01:09:28,567
But you're still a loser.
Hop in.
972
01:09:35,162 --> 01:09:37,784
Scoot over.
973
01:09:37,873 --> 01:09:41,457
In college, things start
to get a little bit better.
974
01:09:41,544 --> 01:09:45,791
You join the track team,
find a speech therapist...
975
01:09:45,882 --> 01:09:47,958
you continue to work your butt off...
976
01:09:48,051 --> 01:09:50,721
and you graduate
at the top of your class.
977
01:09:50,804 --> 01:09:53,509
You eventually go after
a master's degree in business.
978
01:09:53,599 --> 01:09:56,007
Where I work my butt off.
979
01:09:56,102 --> 01:09:58,723
Story of your life, kid.
980
01:09:58,813 --> 01:10:02,348
The good news is that, while you are
currently a pathetic dweeb...
981
01:10:02,442 --> 01:10:04,435
eventually you grow up to be me...
982
01:10:04,528 --> 01:10:07,101
a high-powered, affluent chick magnet.
983
01:10:07,197 --> 01:10:09,190
Who doesn't have a dog or a chick.
984
01:10:11,160 --> 01:10:14,743
Is that how you see me?
A dogless, chickless guy?
985
01:10:14,831 --> 01:10:18,034
- With a twitch.
- Right.
986
01:10:18,126 --> 01:10:22,171
- When do I get that?
- I forget.
987
01:10:22,256 --> 01:10:24,498
- When do I learn how to drive?
- When you're 16.
988
01:10:24,592 --> 01:10:26,750
- When do I get a car?
- When you're 18.
989
01:10:26,844 --> 01:10:28,636
When do I get a hickey?
990
01:10:29,681 --> 01:10:32,848
- When you're 17.
- When do I find out what a hickey is?
991
01:10:34,394 --> 01:10:36,470
Not tonight.
992
01:10:41,318 --> 01:10:43,892
Russ?
993
01:10:43,988 --> 01:10:47,689
- Yeah, kid.
- I get what you do now.
994
01:10:47,784 --> 01:10:50,240
I mean, I get what I do.
995
01:10:50,328 --> 01:10:52,405
When I grow up, for a living.
996
01:10:52,497 --> 01:10:55,914
- I figured out how to explain.
- Let me hear it.
997
01:10:56,001 --> 01:10:59,003
You help people lie
about who they really are...
998
01:10:59,088 --> 01:11:02,540
so that they can pretend
to be someone else, right?
999
01:11:05,345 --> 01:11:06,756
Yeah.
1000
01:11:07,723 --> 01:11:10,759
See? That's not hard to explain.
1001
01:11:12,102 --> 01:11:13,680
That's pretty good.
1002
01:11:14,814 --> 01:11:18,100
- Good night, buddy.
- Good night, kid.
1003
01:11:26,118 --> 01:11:30,615
This is ABC-7 Los Angeles.
Now. Eyewitness News.
1004
01:11:30,706 --> 01:11:33,957
Good evening. Everyone. And welcome.
I'm Harold Greene.
1005
01:11:34,043 --> 01:11:36,083
Good evening. Y'all.
I'm Deirdre Lafever.
1006
01:11:36,171 --> 01:11:40,963
Tonight's top story: Another high-speed
chase on a Los Angeles freeway...
1007
01:11:41,051 --> 01:11:44,503
this time involving a mother of eight
in a stolen minivan.
1008
01:11:44,597 --> 01:11:47,966
The chase started about 8:30
this evening when police first no...
1009
01:11:50,311 --> 01:11:53,016
I know. Thanks, Don.
See you tomorrow.
1010
01:11:54,149 --> 01:11:56,307
I heard the "y'all."
1011
01:11:57,444 --> 01:11:58,939
It works.
1012
01:12:03,034 --> 01:12:04,825
Well, it's Mr Image Consultant.
1013
01:12:06,496 --> 01:12:08,987
So, what do you think?
1014
01:12:09,082 --> 01:12:11,241
Don't tell me.
My hair's still too big.
1015
01:12:11,335 --> 01:12:13,790
No, it looks good.
1016
01:12:13,879 --> 01:12:17,462
Can I buy you a cup of coffee?
Comfort of strangers and all that?
1017
01:12:19,552 --> 01:12:22,090
If what you're telling me is true...
1018
01:12:22,180 --> 01:12:25,680
that has got to be
the strangest thing I've ever heard.
1019
01:12:25,767 --> 01:12:27,843
Makes perfect sense to me.
1020
01:12:29,104 --> 01:12:31,560
- It does?
- Why wouldn't your 8-year-old self...
1021
01:12:31,649 --> 01:12:33,309
time travel here
to give you a hand?
1022
01:12:33,401 --> 01:12:37,066
I mean, you're obviously in trouble.
It'd straighten you out.
1023
01:12:37,155 --> 01:12:39,444
You think he's here
to straighten me out?
1024
01:12:39,532 --> 01:12:43,400
Well, of course. You didn't think
it was the other way around, did you?
1025
01:12:47,750 --> 01:12:51,036
Maybe he's here for you
to teach him some things...
1026
01:12:51,128 --> 01:12:54,961
but maybe he's here for you
to remember some things.
1027
01:12:55,049 --> 01:12:57,375
Ever thought about that?
1028
01:13:00,222 --> 01:13:02,215
Not till just now. No.
1029
01:13:03,517 --> 01:13:04,893
Darlin', look.
1030
01:13:07,063 --> 01:13:09,732
You're turnin' 40 tomorrow.
1031
01:13:09,816 --> 01:13:14,644
You haven't acquired a single thing
of real value in your life.
1032
01:13:14,738 --> 01:13:16,731
- And no, no, money doesn't count.
- Hey...
1033
01:13:17,950 --> 01:13:21,864
You're virtually friendless,
you barely talk to your family...
1034
01:13:21,954 --> 01:13:25,454
and you've just lost
the only woman in the world
who's ever meant anything to you.
1035
01:13:25,541 --> 01:13:28,626
Who? Amy? Please.
1036
01:13:28,712 --> 01:13:32,579
Look, she's not the only woman
in the world, okay?
1037
01:13:32,674 --> 01:13:34,667
She... She works for me.
1038
01:13:34,760 --> 01:13:37,845
She's neurotic.
She bites her nails.
1039
01:13:37,930 --> 01:13:39,970
Nail.
1040
01:13:42,143 --> 01:13:43,935
This one.
1041
01:13:45,856 --> 01:13:47,932
Oh, my God.
1042
01:13:52,446 --> 01:13:57,192
Excuse me. Um, while he's
gettin' a clue, could I... could I
get a warm-up, please? Thank you.
1043
01:14:00,830 --> 01:14:03,666
Okay. Don't stop. Go on.
1044
01:14:03,750 --> 01:14:07,583
- What's it like?
- He keeps asking about his future...
1045
01:14:07,671 --> 01:14:09,296
my past.
1046
01:14:09,382 --> 01:14:11,789
- Haven't really told him much.
- Good.
1047
01:14:11,884 --> 01:14:14,007
"Good"? You think that's good?
1048
01:14:15,430 --> 01:14:17,968
Why? What would you do?
1049
01:14:18,058 --> 01:14:20,596
Wh... If little Deirdre
was suddenly here...
1050
01:14:20,686 --> 01:14:24,137
burstin' out of her St Mary's uniform,
askin' me what comes next?
1051
01:14:24,231 --> 01:14:26,473
Yeah.
1052
01:14:26,567 --> 01:14:31,313
I'd say, "Baby, don't you
worry about a thing.
1053
01:14:31,406 --> 01:14:34,027
Everything is just gonna be great."
1054
01:14:36,328 --> 01:14:40,409
I-I mean, how many of us
turn out the way we think we will
when we're kids, really?
1055
01:14:43,085 --> 01:14:47,499
I-I mean how many of us
grow up to be astronauts?
1056
01:14:47,590 --> 01:14:50,675
Or prima ballerinas?
1057
01:14:52,596 --> 01:14:55,846
We just all do the best we can.
1058
01:15:05,777 --> 01:15:08,019
Time for me to take big Deirdre home.
1059
01:15:10,366 --> 01:15:12,857
You know, if you wanna learn
about your childhood,
seems like you're online...
1060
01:15:12,952 --> 01:15:15,823
with a pretty good source,
you know what I mean?
1061
01:15:15,913 --> 01:15:20,375
Yes, I am. Deirdre, thanks
for taking the time to help.
1062
01:15:23,213 --> 01:15:25,539
Well, don't ever stop
asking for help, Russ.
1063
01:15:27,551 --> 01:15:29,176
You just might get it.
1064
01:15:31,639 --> 01:15:33,715
- Thanks.
- You take care.
1065
01:15:36,102 --> 01:15:38,807
Bye, y'all.
1066
01:15:38,897 --> 01:15:41,056
Bye.
1067
01:15:53,288 --> 01:15:56,622
Hi, Janet, it's me.
I'm sorry to call so late.
1068
01:15:56,708 --> 01:15:58,832
It's okay. Russ.
I think I'll recover.
1069
01:15:58,919 --> 01:16:02,502
I just want you to cancel
all my appointments tomorrow
and move 'em to Friday.
1070
01:16:02,590 --> 01:16:05,876
-Anything else?
- No, that's it.
1071
01:16:05,969 --> 01:16:08,804
- Okay. You've got it.
- No, wait.
1072
01:16:08,889 --> 01:16:10,965
There is something else.
1073
01:16:12,267 --> 01:16:15,767
I want you to find out why the full moon
looks orange sometimes when it rises.
1074
01:16:17,064 --> 01:16:20,564
- Okay. Sure.
- Thanks, Janet. Good night.
1075
01:16:38,671 --> 01:16:42,123
Hey, kid. Rusty.
1076
01:16:44,928 --> 01:16:48,298
- Hi.
- Hey.
1077
01:16:50,017 --> 01:16:54,763
Wanna help me with something? I think
it might get you back to your time.
1078
01:16:54,856 --> 01:16:57,312
- Sure.
- Good.
1079
01:17:00,153 --> 01:17:02,230
Anything about me?
1080
01:17:03,282 --> 01:17:05,358
Yeah.
Anything that'll take me back.
1081
01:17:08,079 --> 01:17:10,653
You know how I like
to find caterpillars...
1082
01:17:10,748 --> 01:17:12,872
and put 'em in jars
and feed 'em...
1083
01:17:14,127 --> 01:17:16,203
and watch 'em make cocoons?
1084
01:17:20,926 --> 01:17:24,510
- No.
- And then one day...
1085
01:17:24,597 --> 01:17:27,005
they break out,
and it's really cool.
1086
01:17:29,519 --> 01:17:31,761
No. Not a clue.
1087
01:17:31,855 --> 01:17:34,525
But keep goin'.
Tell me some more stuff.
1088
01:17:34,608 --> 01:17:37,146
Remember last summer
at Josie's birthday party...
1089
01:17:37,236 --> 01:17:40,403
when I got Parmesan cheese
stuck up my nose?
1090
01:17:42,450 --> 01:17:45,985
- Got any sixes?
- Nope. Go fish.
1091
01:17:47,706 --> 01:17:50,873
- Got any fours?
- Negative. Go fish.
1092
01:17:54,714 --> 01:17:56,623
Got any sevens?
1093
01:17:59,052 --> 01:18:01,258
Tell me some more
about Dad.
1094
01:18:03,098 --> 01:18:05,091
Sometimes...
1095
01:18:05,184 --> 01:18:07,260
he lets me help him
work on the car.
1096
01:18:07,353 --> 01:18:11,481
But if I do something wrong,
he yells at me.
1097
01:18:13,192 --> 01:18:15,980
Sometimes he buys me
ice cream afterwards.
1098
01:18:16,071 --> 01:18:19,155
But still,
I don't like messing up.
1099
01:18:20,367 --> 01:18:23,037
Like last week,
I lost a screw.
1100
01:18:24,705 --> 01:18:26,579
I was afraid to tell him.
1101
01:18:28,418 --> 01:18:31,123
I found it later on
in my pocket.
1102
01:18:31,212 --> 01:18:33,501
Look, I still have it.
1103
01:18:38,679 --> 01:18:41,431
I'm afraid
to give it back to him.
1104
01:18:43,726 --> 01:18:46,348
Got any nines?
1105
01:18:49,357 --> 01:18:51,481
No.
1106
01:18:51,568 --> 01:18:54,688
My homeroom teacher last year
was fat Mrs Kinkelman.
1107
01:18:54,780 --> 01:18:57,615
She was so much better
than Mr Lupus.
1108
01:18:57,700 --> 01:19:00,072
He had that purple bump
on his face.
1109
01:19:00,161 --> 01:19:02,403
I don't remember the bump guy.
What grade was that?
1110
01:19:02,497 --> 01:19:04,905
How come you're asking me
all this stuff?
1111
01:19:05,000 --> 01:19:06,660
'Cause I'm
forgetting something.
1112
01:19:06,752 --> 01:19:09,373
I'm forgetting this one event
that meant something to me...
1113
01:19:09,463 --> 01:19:12,464
and if I can remember that one thing,
maybe I can get you home.
1114
01:19:12,550 --> 01:19:14,922
Are you sure it's not
the purple bump?
1115
01:19:15,011 --> 01:19:17,763
- It's not the bump, kid.
- It was a pretty big bump.
1116
01:19:17,847 --> 01:19:19,887
- Tell me more about second grade.
- Why?
1117
01:19:19,975 --> 01:19:22,051
Nobody had a bump
in second grade.
1118
01:19:24,354 --> 01:19:27,521
My best friend was Tim Wheaton,
until a few months ago.
1119
01:19:27,608 --> 01:19:29,565
Remember him?
1120
01:19:29,652 --> 01:19:33,152
- No, I don't.
- His house smells like fish sticks.
1121
01:19:34,240 --> 01:19:36,233
- No.
- Well, he was my best friend...
1122
01:19:36,326 --> 01:19:38,782
until he started
hanging out with Vince...
1123
01:19:38,870 --> 01:19:41,492
and these other creepy guys.
1124
01:19:41,582 --> 01:19:44,998
He threw a rock at me, and we
haven't been friends since then.
1125
01:19:45,086 --> 01:19:48,419
- He threw a rock at us?
- Oh, yeah.
1126
01:19:48,506 --> 01:19:50,997
- Why? What happened?
- Oh, those guys get together...
1127
01:19:51,092 --> 01:19:53,666
every recess in the corner
of the playground yard...
1128
01:19:53,762 --> 01:19:55,802
where they like
to pick on kids.
1129
01:19:57,349 --> 01:19:59,306
Back behind the kindergarten.
1130
01:20:00,394 --> 01:20:02,850
Yeah. Where the yard monitor
can't see you!
1131
01:20:02,939 --> 01:20:05,430
- Where that big sliding board is?
- Yeah, the really huge one!
1132
01:20:05,525 --> 01:20:07,814
- You remember it!
- Go on. Don't stop.
1133
01:20:07,902 --> 01:20:10,608
There's four of them,
and if they don't like you...
1134
01:20:10,697 --> 01:20:13,153
they make your life a nightmare!
1135
01:20:20,333 --> 01:20:23,833
And the worst thing about them
is they're really mean to animals.
1136
01:20:23,920 --> 01:20:26,127
Especially this one
three-legged dog.
1137
01:20:28,592 --> 01:20:30,336
Tripod!
1138
01:20:30,427 --> 01:20:32,919
Tripod!
The dog's name is Tripod!
1139
01:20:33,014 --> 01:20:36,217
I know the dog's name!
I know everything, kid.
1140
01:20:36,309 --> 01:20:38,302
I know why you're here!
This is the event!
1141
01:20:38,394 --> 01:20:40,553
Vince Kajinski, the fight!
It's the fight!
1142
01:20:40,647 --> 01:20:44,645
It was my eighth birthday.
It was 32 years ago.
1143
01:20:44,735 --> 01:20:47,273
Today!
Ha-ha-ha!
1144
01:20:54,245 --> 01:20:56,997
Holy smokes.
1145
01:20:59,042 --> 01:21:01,284
Look at the car!
1146
01:21:03,005 --> 01:21:05,330
Look at your clothes!
1147
01:21:08,428 --> 01:21:10,420
Holy smokes.
1148
01:21:11,598 --> 01:21:14,136
- Holy smokes!
- Holy smokes!
1149
01:21:14,226 --> 01:21:18,390
- We did it, kid!
- Am I home? Is it really 1968?
1150
01:21:23,361 --> 01:21:25,769
No doubt about it, kid.
What time's recess?
1151
01:21:25,864 --> 01:21:28,781
- 10:30.
- Hang on, kid.
1152
01:21:28,867 --> 01:21:31,738
We've got 15 minutes
to change our life.
1153
01:21:31,828 --> 01:21:33,868
Okay, now listen.
This is gonna happen real fast...
1154
01:21:33,956 --> 01:21:35,830
so you gotta remember
what Kenny told you, all right?
1155
01:21:35,916 --> 01:21:39,831
- One, two, one, two.
- One, two...
- Keep your head down, keep swingin'.
1156
01:21:49,765 --> 01:21:53,680
Look, look, look!
There's the really big slide, remember?
1157
01:21:55,980 --> 01:21:58,934
It used to be a lot bigger.
1158
01:21:59,025 --> 01:22:00,769
Here's what I remember:
1159
01:22:00,861 --> 01:22:04,859
Some really bad guys
tie up that three-legged dog, Tripod.
1160
01:22:04,948 --> 01:22:06,906
When you try to stop 'em,
you get really thrashed.
1161
01:22:06,992 --> 01:22:09,365
Oh, no. Do I save him?
1162
01:22:09,453 --> 01:22:12,241
No. You go down
after only one punch...
1163
01:22:12,332 --> 01:22:14,408
thereby solidifying
your reputation as a loser...
1164
01:22:14,501 --> 01:22:17,074
for the next eight years,
all the way through high school...
1165
01:22:17,170 --> 01:22:19,377
and ruining our life
from that moment on.
1166
01:22:19,464 --> 01:22:21,920
Oh, holy smokes.
1167
01:22:22,009 --> 01:22:25,793
Any second now, Vince Kajinski
and his cohorts are gonna
come around that corner.
1168
01:22:27,014 --> 01:22:29,802
- Look. There they are.
- Hey, boo!
1169
01:22:31,436 --> 01:22:34,141
They're gonna say something to you
to get you to come over there.
1170
01:22:34,231 --> 01:22:37,018
Once you get back there,
they have Tripod tied up.
1171
01:22:38,652 --> 01:22:42,271
- Any questions?
- Yeah. What's a cohort?
1172
01:22:43,533 --> 01:22:45,490
Hey, Rusty,
come over here.
1173
01:22:45,577 --> 01:22:49,028
It's your birthday, right?
We got a present for you.
1174
01:22:49,122 --> 01:22:52,990
Look, kid. You don't have
to do this at all.
1175
01:22:53,085 --> 01:22:56,834
- You don't have to fight today.
- Come on. Hurry up!
1176
01:23:00,343 --> 01:23:03,712
No. If I don't
go against them today...
1177
01:23:03,805 --> 01:23:06,723
I'll have to fight tomorrow
or the next day...
1178
01:23:06,808 --> 01:23:09,382
and today,
you're here with me.
1179
01:23:09,478 --> 01:23:13,061
That's right.
I'm here with you today.
1180
01:23:14,901 --> 01:23:16,940
I can do this.
1181
01:23:18,154 --> 01:23:20,728
You can do it.
Don't be afraid.
1182
01:23:20,824 --> 01:23:22,817
Here I come!
1183
01:23:24,411 --> 01:23:26,404
I'll be right here.
1184
01:23:36,132 --> 01:23:37,543
What took you so long?
1185
01:23:37,634 --> 01:23:40,125
- Come on, Rusty.
- I just saw it...
1186
01:23:40,220 --> 01:23:42,676
- Yeah, hurry up.
- A big surprise.
1187
01:23:42,765 --> 01:23:45,256
It's really far out.
1188
01:24:04,288 --> 01:24:06,910
Come on, man. It'll be great.
Why don't you go?
1189
01:24:07,000 --> 01:24:10,535
- Yeah.
- It'll be fun. There's your present.
- Cool, huh?
1190
01:24:13,090 --> 01:24:15,877
- What are you doing?
- This stinkin',
three-legged dog is worthless.
1191
01:24:15,968 --> 01:24:18,969
We'll see him run.
Light the firecrackers.
1192
01:24:19,055 --> 01:24:23,005
Let the dog go.
You guys are dirtbags.
1193
01:24:23,101 --> 01:24:26,601
- What did you call us?
- Dirtbags!
1194
01:24:26,688 --> 01:24:29,358
- Good shot.
- Look at flabby.
- We rule.
1195
01:24:29,441 --> 01:24:32,146
What a dope.
1196
01:24:32,236 --> 01:24:35,321
- That was far out.
- Right on.
- Yeah, right on.
1197
01:24:35,406 --> 01:24:37,198
- We rule.
- Wait, Vince.
1198
01:24:37,283 --> 01:24:39,241
Turn around.
1199
01:24:40,704 --> 01:24:44,287
Oh, that's how it's gonna be.
1200
01:24:44,374 --> 01:24:46,913
- Come on, Vince. Get him!
- Stop it!
1201
01:24:49,046 --> 01:24:51,004
Come on!
1202
01:24:51,090 --> 01:24:54,210
- Get him!
- Come on! Get him!
1203
01:24:56,513 --> 01:24:59,004
- Up against the wall!
- Come on, Vince!
1204
01:24:59,099 --> 01:25:01,590
- Stop!
- Come on, wimp!
1205
01:25:01,685 --> 01:25:04,437
Are you gonna cry?
1206
01:25:04,522 --> 01:25:07,606
- One, two.
- Gonna run to your mom?
- One, two.
1207
01:25:07,692 --> 01:25:09,981
One, two!
1208
01:25:12,030 --> 01:25:14,604
- Say uncle! Say uncle!
- No.
1209
01:25:14,700 --> 01:25:16,942
- Apologize!
- No.
1210
01:25:17,035 --> 01:25:19,278
Say uncle!
Apologize!
1211
01:25:19,371 --> 01:25:21,115
Uncle. I'm sorry.
1212
01:25:27,422 --> 01:25:29,415
Yes! You won.
1213
01:25:29,508 --> 01:25:33,007
- Holy smokes! You did it!
- Yabba-dabba-doo!
1214
01:25:33,095 --> 01:25:35,088
Ha-ha!
Yabba-dabba-doo is right.
1215
01:25:35,181 --> 01:25:38,348
- You won the fight. You really did it.
You won the fight.
- I did it. I did it!
1216
01:25:38,434 --> 01:25:40,842
That's all!
I did what I had to do.
1217
01:25:40,937 --> 01:25:42,930
Everything's gonna
be different now.
1218
01:25:44,190 --> 01:25:45,934
Yeah, I guess so.
1219
01:25:46,026 --> 01:25:49,276
Over. That is all. Yes.
1220
01:25:51,323 --> 01:25:53,031
That's all, right?
1221
01:25:56,245 --> 01:25:58,737
- Oh, no.
- What?
1222
01:26:01,042 --> 01:26:02,703
It's not over.
1223
01:26:03,545 --> 01:26:06,463
This gets worse, kid.
Much worse.
1224
01:26:06,548 --> 01:26:08,921
What are you talking about?
I won the fight.
1225
01:26:09,010 --> 01:26:11,631
It wasn't the fight.
That wasn't it.
1226
01:26:16,268 --> 01:26:18,260
It's not over.
1227
01:26:22,775 --> 01:26:24,768
Ice on the eye, son.
1228
01:26:28,531 --> 01:26:31,449
Mr Branch, I put all
the reports on your desk.
1229
01:26:41,212 --> 01:26:43,999
Mom. I'm sorry, Mom.
I'm sorry.
1230
01:26:44,090 --> 01:26:47,874
Oh, it's okay. It's okay.
1231
01:26:47,969 --> 01:26:50,507
I'm sorry you had to come in,
Mrs Duritz.
1232
01:26:50,597 --> 01:26:53,385
We all know
you haven't been well.
1233
01:26:53,475 --> 01:26:58,304
Please, don't punish him,
Mr Branch.
1234
01:26:58,397 --> 01:27:00,390
It's his birthday today.
1235
01:27:08,992 --> 01:27:11,828
- Mom, Daddy's home.
- Daddy?
1236
01:27:11,912 --> 01:27:13,490
Gloria.
1237
01:27:13,581 --> 01:27:16,155
What are you doing?
Are you out of your mind?
1238
01:27:16,250 --> 01:27:18,042
- I'm fine.
- Come on, dear.
- I'm fine.
1239
01:27:18,128 --> 01:27:21,082
Shh, shh, shh.
Get you inside.
1240
01:27:21,173 --> 01:27:23,878
You stay there!
1241
01:27:23,967 --> 01:27:26,838
Please don't scare him.
He's had a hard day.
1242
01:27:26,929 --> 01:27:30,096
Gloria, the doctor said
you weren't to leave the house.
1243
01:27:42,363 --> 01:27:44,854
- What is the matter with you?
- I'm sorry.
1244
01:27:44,949 --> 01:27:48,532
How could you do this
to your mother? What are you
trying to do, kill her faster?
1245
01:27:48,620 --> 01:27:51,407
- What?
- We're gonna lose her.
1246
01:27:51,498 --> 01:27:55,626
God, and you pull some stunt
like you did today. You're killing her!
1247
01:27:55,711 --> 01:27:58,380
I found the screw, Dad.
The screw.
1248
01:27:58,464 --> 01:28:01,465
- Stop cryin'.
- Here's the screw, Dad.
1249
01:28:01,550 --> 01:28:04,256
Look! Here it is.
Here it is. I found it.
1250
01:28:04,345 --> 01:28:07,465
- Just stop cryin'.
- Please, Dad, look at the screw.
1251
01:28:07,557 --> 01:28:10,179
- Here it is.
- Stop crying!
1252
01:28:10,268 --> 01:28:12,510
Stop.
1253
01:28:12,604 --> 01:28:15,559
You gotta grow up, now.
1254
01:28:15,649 --> 01:28:17,642
Do you understand?
1255
01:28:17,735 --> 01:28:20,689
- Yes, sir.
- Grow up. Grow up!
1256
01:28:45,057 --> 01:28:47,631
Mom's dying.
1257
01:28:49,353 --> 01:28:52,520
- I know.
- Soon?
1258
01:28:53,775 --> 01:28:56,444
Yeah.
1259
01:28:56,528 --> 01:28:58,271
Before your next birthday.
1260
01:28:58,363 --> 01:29:00,107
Did I do it?
1261
01:29:03,452 --> 01:29:06,122
No.
1262
01:29:06,205 --> 01:29:08,198
No, you didn't do it.
1263
01:29:10,960 --> 01:29:13,630
It's not your fault.
1264
01:29:13,713 --> 01:29:16,549
Dad was just saying those things
because he's scared.
1265
01:29:18,761 --> 01:29:21,845
'Cause he knows that he has to
raise you alone, and he
doesn't know how to do it.
1266
01:29:25,685 --> 01:29:27,974
I thought you never cried.
1267
01:29:31,441 --> 01:29:33,481
Not since my eighth birthday.
1268
01:29:35,154 --> 01:29:37,775
Guess I'm starting up again.
1269
01:29:37,865 --> 01:29:41,484
- How come?
- 'Cause I just figured out
where I got that twitch from.
1270
01:29:42,620 --> 01:29:44,779
Somebody call
the "waaambulance."
1271
01:29:46,124 --> 01:29:49,375
Yeah. Yeah.
1272
01:29:49,461 --> 01:29:51,501
Gonna need 'em now, huh?
1273
01:29:57,178 --> 01:29:59,930
Come on. You wanna
get outta here?
1274
01:30:01,475 --> 01:30:03,514
Let's go.
1275
01:30:07,857 --> 01:30:09,849
Let's go get something to eat.
1276
01:30:09,942 --> 01:30:13,146
Okay. But I'm eating
whatever I want.
1277
01:30:17,909 --> 01:30:20,579
This is disgusting.
Let me have some of yours.
1278
01:30:20,662 --> 01:30:21,943
- Hey!
- Hey!
1279
01:30:24,083 --> 01:30:26,788
- You don't seem all that mad.
- About what?
1280
01:30:28,004 --> 01:30:30,080
That we didn't
change anything.
1281
01:30:30,173 --> 01:30:32,747
Like the fact that we're still gonna
have to fight Vince Kajinski...
1282
01:30:32,843 --> 01:30:34,716
every week
all through grade school?
1283
01:30:35,846 --> 01:30:38,171
- Yeah.
- And we'll still be ugly
through high school?
1284
01:30:38,265 --> 01:30:40,591
- But not stupid.
- Not stupid.
1285
01:30:41,978 --> 01:30:44,136
And that we spend
our college years...
1286
01:30:44,230 --> 01:30:47,516
as a chickless, dogless jerk
with a twitch?
1287
01:30:47,609 --> 01:30:50,230
And still not have
a family when we're 40?
1288
01:30:53,240 --> 01:30:54,699
Yeah.
1289
01:30:55,951 --> 01:30:58,075
What's done is done.
1290
01:30:59,205 --> 01:31:01,114
Yeah.
1291
01:31:02,917 --> 01:31:07,746
But, hey, this is our birthday.
Okay?
1292
01:31:08,674 --> 01:31:11,343
Happy birthday, kid.
Cheers, kid.
1293
01:31:19,227 --> 01:31:21,469
Hello, boy.
How are you doin'?
1294
01:31:21,563 --> 01:31:23,852
- Who are you?
- Chester, come on, boy.
1295
01:31:33,243 --> 01:31:37,739
Did you hear
what he just called his dog?
1296
01:31:37,831 --> 01:31:39,456
Chester.
1297
01:31:52,806 --> 01:31:54,633
Can that...
1298
01:31:55,767 --> 01:31:58,140
be that?
1299
01:31:58,228 --> 01:32:02,096
- No way.
- Can't be.
1300
01:32:06,738 --> 01:32:09,229
Here you go.
1301
01:32:31,599 --> 01:32:34,516
You like the old plane?
1302
01:32:37,188 --> 01:32:39,514
Uh-huh.
1303
01:32:40,859 --> 01:32:42,650
Yeah.
1304
01:32:43,779 --> 01:32:45,772
You did all this.
1305
01:32:47,783 --> 01:32:49,776
You put that plane
on my doorstep.
1306
01:32:49,869 --> 01:32:54,282
Yeah. Yeah, I thought that was
a particularly nice touch.
1307
01:32:55,875 --> 01:32:58,331
Yeah. It was.
1308
01:32:58,420 --> 01:33:01,207
I bet you got a lot of questions.
1309
01:33:03,008 --> 01:33:05,844
- Yeah.
- Well, I wouldn't worry about it.
1310
01:33:05,928 --> 01:33:09,262
You got 30 years
to figure 'em out.
1311
01:33:09,349 --> 01:33:12,469
Right now I gotta go.
Family's waitin'.
1312
01:33:36,420 --> 01:33:38,793
It was especially nice
seeing you again.
1313
01:33:41,426 --> 01:33:44,961
- I'll see you.
- See ya.
1314
01:33:47,683 --> 01:33:49,676
Bye.
1315
01:33:54,357 --> 01:33:56,848
Holy smokes.
1316
01:34:12,251 --> 01:34:14,624
We did it.
1317
01:34:21,387 --> 01:34:24,056
- Holy smokes!
- Holy smokes!
1318
01:34:24,140 --> 01:34:26,263
- We did it!
- We did it!
1319
01:34:26,350 --> 01:34:28,509
Yeah-ho-ho!
1320
01:34:28,603 --> 01:34:31,640
- I'm okay! We're okay!
- We're okay!
1321
01:34:31,731 --> 01:34:34,139
We're okay!
1322
01:34:34,234 --> 01:34:36,357
- You're a pilot.
- You're a pilot.
- You're a pilot.
1323
01:34:36,445 --> 01:34:39,363
- No, you're a pilot.
- I'm a pilot.
- We grow up to be pilots!
1324
01:34:39,448 --> 01:34:42,403
We grow up to be pilots!
Hey!
1325
01:34:42,493 --> 01:34:44,901
- Did you see our dog?
- What's his name?
- Chester.
1326
01:34:44,996 --> 01:34:48,579
- Chester, the world's
greatest dog!
- The world's greatest dog!
1327
01:34:48,667 --> 01:34:52,118
Yes! Hoo-Ha, Hoo-Ha...
One, right, left, left...
1328
01:34:52,212 --> 01:34:54,538
- Did you see our family?
- Yeah.
1329
01:34:55,674 --> 01:34:57,667
Wild.
1330
01:34:59,053 --> 01:35:01,260
That old lady
looked familiar.
1331
01:35:02,390 --> 01:35:05,345
Yeah.
I thought so too.
1332
01:35:18,116 --> 01:35:21,366
- Look at us go.
- Yeah.
1333
01:35:21,453 --> 01:35:23,280
Look at us go.
1334
01:35:28,628 --> 01:35:33,124
I am not a loser!
1335
01:35:47,315 --> 01:35:49,308
Look at us go.
1336
01:35:53,947 --> 01:35:55,940
Kid?
1337
01:36:08,255 --> 01:36:10,247
Bye, kid.
1338
01:36:17,098 --> 01:36:19,091
Thanks.
1339
01:36:39,289 --> 01:36:41,958
Hello?
1340
01:36:42,042 --> 01:36:43,750
I'm here.
1341
01:36:45,754 --> 01:36:48,328
Russ?
1342
01:36:48,424 --> 01:36:52,007
- Russ?
- Hi, Janet. I'm back here.
I'll be out in a second.
1343
01:36:52,095 --> 01:36:55,345
Hey, a couple of questions.
Why am I not at the office?
1344
01:36:55,432 --> 01:36:57,425
Why are you not at the office?
1345
01:36:57,517 --> 01:36:59,925
- And where have you been?
- Did you call my dad?
1346
01:37:00,020 --> 01:37:02,690
Yes, I told him you'd be there Sunday
to help him move.
1347
01:37:02,773 --> 01:37:06,024
He almost had a heart attack,
if that was your intention.
1348
01:37:06,110 --> 01:37:08,068
What about the plane tickets
to Hawaii?
1349
01:37:08,154 --> 01:37:11,440
I booked 'em. Two first-class seats.
You leave at 2:00.
1350
01:37:14,536 --> 01:37:17,241
Thank you. Got a pen?
1351
01:37:17,331 --> 01:37:21,376
Change these names on here.
Use my credit card.
1352
01:37:27,592 --> 01:37:30,510
Russ! Ha-ha-ha!
1353
01:37:30,596 --> 01:37:33,513
- I love it, I love it,
I love it, I love it.
- Aloha, Janet.
1354
01:37:33,599 --> 01:37:37,893
I love Hawaii.
I love Hawaii!
1355
01:38:42,967 --> 01:38:45,803
Do you want to come in?
1356
01:38:45,887 --> 01:38:47,880
Yes.
106896
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