All language subtitles for Succession.S01E09

He's got me overseeing
the satellite launch

out of Tanegashima.

KENDALL ROY: Good for you, bro.

Can't keep a good dog down.

♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

TOM WAMSGANS: Bill told me
as part of the handover

where some of the bodies
were buried.

If it does come out while
I'm in charge, I'm dead.

LOGAN ROY: I'm tired of this.
Come in.

I can see through you

and this transparent little
offer to buy me off.

Maybe, I should just let them
come for you.

If this is the way things
are gonna go then fuck off, Dad.

♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪

Shiv gave me a hall pass.

And what?
Shiv has that same arrangement?

TOM: I don't know, Greg.
It's not a competition.

MARCIA ROY: I don't think
it's a good idea for him

to come to the wedding.

How would you like half a bill
for your share of Waystar?

Why don't we talk this over
with Sandy?

KENDALL: Sandy Furness?

He's already in on Waystar.

I have the shell company
attached

to his private equity fund.

Keep your money. Bring me in.

We go fuck my dad together.

Leverage buyout. Hostile.

-What's your end?
-CEO.

And you're sure
you got the stomach?

KENDALL: Yeah. I'm good.

- ( birds chirping )
- ( music playing )

( chatter )

Here they are!

( air brakes hiss )

( backup alarm beeping )

What's he do-- What's he doing?

Come on, it'll be fine.

It'll fit!

I'm afraid he's not
gonna drive through.

- He says it won't fit.
- Well, clearly it'll fit.

What is he,
vehicle dysmorphic?

The bridge has
a three-and-a-half ton
weight limit,

and he's worried
about his mirrors.

Well, which is it,
Charlotte?

The story
keeps changing.

Tom:
Hey, hey!
Come on down!

This is not
my intended welcome.

We will--
We will sort it, Tom.

Hey!

- Woman: Morning!
- Hey, good to see ya.

We can just get buggies
and--

Buggies? How the fuck long
will that take?

We just need to round up
the buggies and--

I work in hospitality,
Charlotte, so I can
smell bullshit.

- Mom!
- Honey!

Hey! Hey, Daddy!

Hey, Tommy,
it's great to see ya.

Couple of hours?!

Mother:
It was wonderful
just sitting there.

We liked watching
the planes.

Your father thought
he might have seen

the man from U2.

- OK.
- And Arthur Laffer,

of the Laffer Curve?
Are they coming?

Well, uh, could be.
It's mostly rock gods
and economists.

Hey, hey,
it's the Fly Guys!

( all exclaim )

- Good to see you!
- You made it, man!

Tommy, your mother's
a little thirsty.

- Mommy, you thirsty?
- A little thirsty.

I don't want to be
a trouble, Tom.
It was my fault.

Grab a bag,
and then we'll go--

I'll follow you up.

I hope you're happy now,
Charlotte,

'cause my mother
is dying of thirst.

And I've just
picked up a bag.

I'm carrying a case
on my wedding eve.

( theme music playing )

All right. I gotta go.

But I'll see you there, OK?

I managed to change
the time for the embassy,

and...

- Sorry. Are we OK?
- Oh, yeah.

Gil, you don't
have to come to the wedding

if you're too busy. That's--

We've just been doing

the media monitoring.

Motherfuckers.
I'll fucking kill him.

I'll take them to pieces!

Nate:
He's not sleeping.

It's what's-his-name.
Got under his skin.

Screwdriver-face.

Oh, the bit--

The bit where he implied
he murdered his wife.

Yeah, for some reason
that's somewhat irked him.

Gil, you don't need
to focus on this.
We can hit it.

I know. I'm focused.

I'm X-raying this briefing
for salient facts.

I mean, I don't want to make
a big thing out of this,

but is it possible your father

is the worst human being
who ever lived?

Uh, I-- I don't think that's--

Is it true he's not
coming to the wedding,

out of... what, spite?

Well, it's complicated.

I want to take him out.

I want to destroy ATN.

I'm not sure that's wise.

And if I said it was wise,

would you have a problem
with that?

No.

In the end, Gil,
I'll do whatever you want.

Siobhan, look.
If there's something,

anything, you can get me,

I'm in a fuckin'
knife fight here,

I'm holding a dildo
made out of American cheese.

Kendall:
So this is really
gonna happen, yeah?

You know I don't want ICBC as
part of the syndicate, right?

Uh, 75 to 150 basis points,

and point two percent
commitment fee.

Then, uh, then, yeah.
Fuck yeah.

- I feel good.
- Stewy: Holy shit.

Without them
we're good to go.
Let me call you back.

Um, has your sister
ever heard of Lake Como?

Has she ever heard of Venice,
St. Barts, the Maldives?

Has she heard
of these locations?
She must be aware of them.

I got the call.
You get the call?

I got the fuckin' call.

Shall we go inside?
Come on.

What? In here?

Brother, we are putting
together a hostile takeover

of one of the largest
media corporations

in the world.

I think we can brave
some non-vintage champagne.

Wow. Um, can we get
some champagne?

A bottle, please?
Thank you.

What are we talkin'?
Like ten days?

Then we go in
for the kill?

- Yeah.
- Can't keep it on lockdown

for more than about ten days,
right?

- Stewy: Yeah, that's about it.
- Woman: John?

- John? John!
- So, like...

Have you got any
that champagne?

...the 19th for the bear hug?

- Yeah. Good. One little thing.
- Good.

The Canadians, there seems
to be a little static
on some details.

- Like what?
- Like... you as CEO.

What do you mean?

Relax. OK?

This doesn't happen
without you.

It's normal
co-investor bullshit.

Frank knows those guys.
You want me to--

I'll handle it, dude.

No leaks. Please.
Not to Frank, not to anyone.

Why are you so jumpy
about this, Ken?

Why am I jumpy?

About fucking Rome,
fuckin' Shiv and Connor,

probably blowing what's left
of my dad's fuckin' brain?

About taking the company
out of family control, forever?

I don't know, Stewy.
Why would that make me jumpy?

Look, I don't give a fuck.

But, I mean,
do you want me to ask?

I'm just curious to see
if she's gonna come begging.

- Because I can ask.
- I don't want to ask.

If she wants to ask,
she can ask.

'Cause I can
physically see her.

Gerri, I don't want to ask.

OK.

She comes crawling,

then I'll think it over.

- Fine. OK, I get it.
- Who's there?

- Um...
- Have you seen Caroline?

Is she still with
that chinless hippie prick?

I thought we might miss
the rehearsal.

We don't need to rehearse.
We're gonna kill it.

Did you think again
about your dad

and whether we want
to reconsider--

- Fuck him.
- Right, right.

And did you think again
about whether we want
to go Wambsgans

or Roy-Wambsgans or,
as I said,

I'd be willing
to just drop traditional

and go Tom Roy,
in fact, for myself, if...

Um, hey, I wanted
to ask you something.

Uh-huh?

I could do with knowing
about the bad thing in Cruises.

You know, the thing that meant
you couldn't sleep?

Uh-huh.

- No?
- Uh... I--

No, I don't--

No, I just think, yeah,

I just think, you know,
church and state and--

and AC/DC and...

ebony and ivory
and never the twain shall meet.

Yeah, right, but you always
wanted to make it public.

- Didn't you?
- Yes. Yeah.

- In my bones, I did.
- Exactly.

But I did then destroy
all the evidence, so...

( clears throat )

I guess...
you know, if it's bad,

the longer you leave it,

the worse it'll be
when it comes out.

Yes, unless
it never comes out. You know?

I bet it's not
even that bad.

Uh, it is quite bad.

It's quite bad.

- Shiv: Oh, fuck, here we go.
- Tom: Look, honey.

This is where
it's happening.

Ooh.

- Oh, hey.
- Hey.

- Tom: It's exciting!
- Shiv: Hey.

You spoken
to the Wicked Bitch
of the West yet?

I just got here, Shiv.

Is this gonna take long?

Shiv:
Shall we?

- Saddle up, soldier.
- Oh, come on.

She can't be that bad.

Yeah, just don't look
at her directly.

Caroline:
Hello!
Hello, hello!

- Shiv: Hi.
- Here you are.

I knew you'd arrive
eventually.

Tom. Remember Tabs?

- Shiv: My mom.
- Hello!

- Tom.
- Hi.

Gosh, look at you.

You're very plausible.

Oh. Thank you.

Exactly.

( all chuckle )

- Hi, Mom.
- Hi, Kendall.

Roman:
Tabitha,
have you guys met?

- Have you all--
- Bro.

Ruff ruff! Ruff!

So, shall we go
and play happy families?

Tom:
Yes. Great.

Shiv:
Mm-hmm.

Well done on Tom.

Oh, yeah. Thank you.

Tell me again
why you're marrying him.

- Mom. Come on.
- Joking. I like--

- I like him!
- OK.

And I want to say
I hope this can be nice.

I really appreciate
your coming over here.

OK. It's no worries.

My travel agent
specializes in guilt trips.

Hey! Hey!

Apologies. Did I miss anything?

- No.
- Happy day.

Caroline Collingwood.
Pleased to meet you.

Likewise, your excellency.

Gregory Hirsch.

Greg!

- You're Greg Egg.
- Excuse me?

You're Greg the Egg!

When you were born
you looked like
a little misshapen egg.

I... did-- Yeah,
I did hear tell of...

Oh, God. And your dad
used to try and sleep
with all the men in Sausalito.

( grunts )

How's your mother?

Uh, good. OK, yeah.

Solvent, currently.
Debt free.

Great. Come on in.

Come and see our little church.

( phone buzzing )

These are all my disreputable
slave-owning ancestors.

Very nice.

- Oh, my God. Tom, did you see?
- What, Greg?

- Did I see what?
- That's the girl from Brooklyn.

From your bachelor party.

Who sucked your dick
and made you swallow
your load.

Greg, that's not
very wedding-y.

- But that's her.
- I know.

Greg, her name is Tabitha,
and she and Roman are dating.

Which is cool. So please,
do not act like
an unsophisticated rube.

- OK. Wow.
- Yeah.

He really liked her,
and it's fine.

It's just one of
those weird urban things,

like when you go
to see standup

and the comedian
is your dentist.

- OK? Yeah?
- Yeah, yeah-- Oh!

- Hey!
- Hey.

- Hey!
- So,

- we should, uh, get going.
- Yeah, let's do it.

I'm Willa, by the way.
I'm Connor's partner.

Fantastic.

And what do you do, Willa?

Oh, um, I'm a playwright.

- Wow. Fantastic.
- Yeah.

- Thank you.
- America.

And what do you do, Connor?

Well, um...

Connor doesn't really
do anything.

Do you, Con?

I think they're all
gathered now, Patrick.

- Shall we?
- What?

What?

Shit.

Just to get things straight,

am I right that the father--
I understand the father--

Caroline:
Couldn't be bothered.

( awkward laughter )

He's-- He's not well.
He's not well.

Caroline:
Yeah, that's the story.

Everyone remember the story.

So, uh, I will be performing
the father role.

Vicar:
Great.

Listen, I didn't mean
you don't do anything.
Just--

Well, that's a shame,
because that's what you said.

No, you know, I mean,
nothing like my writing.
Nothing--

Safeguarding
30,000 acres of wilderness,
that's nothing?

Being on the verge
of setting up a podcast
on Napoleonic history

with a considerable level
of investment interest,
that's nothing?

- No, sure, it's--
- Crackin' the nut of happiness

like a modern day Thoreau,
well, that's nothing.

Con. You're great, OK?

You are. I--

It was a dumb thing
to say.

Well, here we are.

The ancestral home
Caroline didn't inherit.

The thorn in her side,
the fishbone in her throat.

When we were kids,
she wouldn't even
let us look at it.

What do you think?

I mean, it's massive!

I hate it.

- Kendall: Hey, so, listen.
- Frank: Mm-hmm?

You know the Canadians, right?

Yves, et cetera?

The pension fund guys?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

What do they
think of me?

How do you mean?
What's the context?

I can't give you context.

OK. That's very
interesting context.

- Look, as a pal...
- Uh-huh?

( sighs )

Say there was a situation
where private equity

was trying to buy out
a major media company

and install a new CEO.

- How would they view me?
- Are you serious?

Fuck. So what,
they're co-investors?

Come on,
you know those guys.

Behind closed doors,
are they of the opinion

I'm the real deal,

or in training?

And would there be room
to wet the beak of an old pal

- in such a situation?
- Frank, too soon. Too soon.

Get your hard-on
out of my soup.

OK.

- So?
- Well...

I think they have
a lot of time for you,

but there may be
certain questions.

- Oh, shit.
- Well, you know,

they think
they're hot shots.

They make hard jokes.

As in?

Well, sometimes
when you were absent

they used to refer to you
as "the calamari cock ring."

I don't even know
what that means.

I think it means
they think of me
as a cock ring

made from calamari,
Frank,

it's pretty
self-explanatory.

- So what do we say?
- Well, I thought

we were gonna say "illness."

No, I don't like illness.
Plays weak.

OK, we can say "busy."

What prick's too busy to attend
his own daughter's wedding?

OK, "family rift."

But we background brief
that Gil's campaign
is like a cult.

"What is this grieving senator's
mysterious hold on Shiv Roy?"

We sprinkle some of that.

It makes her look weak.
And it makes me look like I'm--

None of my kids
have gone round the bend,
or offed themselves.

We've always pushed
that you're a good dad.

- Because?
- Because you are a good dad.

Huh.

So, if you don't
want to say,
I mean,

work or illness or...

rift, do we just--

Fuck it.
There's no way out.

I mean, if you want to go--

I don't want to go.

But there's no other
fucking way out.

( party chatter )

We can do whatever
you want us to do,

and I'm so sorry if you think
we've done the wrong thing,

but they literally just called
and told us he was coming.

- Kendall: Who's coming?
- Shiv: Dad. And Marcia.

- Wait-- Dad's coming... here?
- Shiv: Yeah.

I thought you
didn't want him to.

I don't.

I mean, it's your wedding, so--

Yeah. I don't want him here.

He's never apologized.

But Marcia called Tom, and--

And obviously
I had to ask Shiv.

Meanwhile, she's already
called Charlotte,

- and they're on their way.
- Dad's coming?

Is it about the launch?
Is he concerned?

Yeah, I'm sure he's
thinking about that 24/7.

So, I mean,
what are you gonna do?

- You could just say no.
- Yeah. I could.

But what, just get security
to fucking stop him?

- Tom: Hold on.
- I could do that.

Yeah you could, but it might
cause a funny atmosphere,

because he did pay
for all this.

If he's got the stones
to walk in here,
what are we gonna do?

Put the dogs on him?
Tell him there's no seat,
he's gotta stand?

He's given us no choice.

So now I hear he is coming.

- Yeah.
- Well, that's wonderful.

- Oh, come on, Mom.
- No, no. It's fine.

I just hope you won't
forget about me

when your father arrives

with the head
of his Middle Eastern
operations.

- Marcia?
- Yeah, Marcia.

Do you still find her
a bit...? You know.

Actually, we became
quite close during
Dad's illness.

Oh, well.

What a sweet little scene
that must have been.

Very touching, I'm sure.

- Actually, it's quite good.
- Why?

Just your being
the second-most important
person at your wedding.

Take the pressure off.

( light jazz combo playing )

( chatter )

Mm. Oh, this is delicious.

Well, I'm very glad you like it.

Because it cost
a pretty penny.

Well,
it's delicious.
It tastes like it.

- Um, sorry. Just a second?
- Oh, no. Of course.

- Hi. Excuse me.
- Hi there.

Got any protein
for us to use?

Protein? I'm not a fuckin' hen
to lay you eggs.

- I'm a strategist.
- I know. It's just... Gil.

- What?
- He'd like a word.

OK.

- Hey. Hey!
- Father: Hey. How ya doin'?

I gotta say, you knocked it
out of the park with the wine.

- It's delicious.
- ( glasses clink )

Gil.

Listen, I don't mean
to be overly dramatic,

but I was assured
when I accepted

that your father
wouldn't be here.

I know.
Plans changed,
I was ambushed.

This is not OK
from my POV, Siobhan.

This compromises me.

And you were very eager
that Gil would come along.

I mean, it's--

Well, yeah,
when I invited you

I didn't realize
it was gonna be a chore.

He's just weighty,
Shiv.

He carries his gravity.

He's not a man,
he's a fucking planet.

Look, there's no press,
and there's no pictures.

We got jammers
and a fucking hawk
to take out drones.

It'll be like it never happened.

I hear you might have
something explosive

I can use.

Yeah, maybe.
I'm working on it.

But just not yet.

Let's destroy ATN, Shiv.

Wouldn't that be
a nice wedding gift

to the American people?

Oh, yeah, sure,

I'm just concerned
about collateral damage.

- Tom.
- Nate: Tom?

- He'll be fine.
- Says the man

who has literally no idea
what he's even talking about.

Gil:
Shiv, come on.

I have all the arguments
on monopolies, and news,

and the coarsening
of the public sphere,

but I kind of
start falling asleep

when I hear myself talk.

Give me something salty, Shiv.
Get me a stick of dynamite

I can shove up
his fuckin' ass!

OK, I get that.

Come here.
You know Gil.

Yeah, sure.

Pleased to meet you,
Senator Eavis.

Likewise.

How are you finding it
outside the evil empire?

Oh, fine.
I'm fine, thank you.

And how do you like it
here in the lion's den?

Oh, I've been to zoos before.

You like drinking
our champagne?

I'm a "champagne for all" guy,

not a "gruel for all" guy.

Hey, you know
Senator Eavis.

Sword of
the dispossessed

and lover of
vintage champagne.

I guess technically,
I should take a swing at you.

Technically, I should
call you libelous scum.

Are you gonna
calm the shit-talk down,

or are we gonna
have to ramp things up?

Is your dad gonna stop
poisoning the discourse
of our great republic?

Have you got a laptop?

Do you see the shit out there?
We're the fucking good guys now.

Join in, by the way.
Feel free.

- ( grunts )
- No?

Shiv? I mean, your guy here
is shit-talkin' our company.

Oh, yeah,
we don't talk about that.

That would be
a conflict of interest.

Oh, lies!

Oh, 'cause you--
Yeah, the lies.

Can't wait for the big one
tomorrow. Right?

Well, these hands
aren't gonna fuck themselves.

Roman:
Nice to meet you,
Senator Beavis.

- Congratulations.
- Thanks.

- Nice to finally meet you.
- Tom Wambsgans.

Obviously. Nate.

Uh-huh. Right.

Right.

I just wanted to say
thanks for having me.

I'm Tabitha.

Hi. Well, I've heard
very little about you.

What can I say?

Best man won.

Ha ha.
As in?

You won the Shiv-off, pal.

Good luck.

Right. And who--
who are you again?

Nate? Sofrelli?

Did she never--
This is embarrassing.

- Are you a pal of Kendall's?
- Yes.

- OK. Ah.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And Shiv and I, uh,
back in ancient history we--

Oh, right. Oh!
Oh, I see.

Oh, OK, maybe she did.

- Right.
- Maybe she did.

- Ah. The best man won.
- ( Nate laughs )

Maybe.

There was an uncle
who ended up living in Gibraltar
with a monkey,

and he swindled
my mom's grandpa.

We used to come here as kids.
She lives nearby.

Oh, very good.
Keep the wound fresh
and all that.

You know what,
I'm gonna split.

I can see my husband-to-be
talking to my ex,

and it's making me feel
like I want to hurl.

- So, great to meet you.
- Yeah, fair. You too.

Nate:
Have a good night.

Just to say...

so kind of your parents
to have paid for
all this delicious wine.

Oh, not at all,
not at all.

They wanted to make
a contribution, so...

So clever the way
they're letting
every single person know.

Oh. Oh, good--

You OK?

Yeah, I think I just
got stabbed by your mom,

but I'm not completely sure.

Oh, yeah,
that's how it works.

You'll bleed out
in about an hour.

Can I-- Can I talk to you
for... two seconds?

Uh, yeah.

So I just wanted to get
you up here

to talk about
the table plans.

Oh. And have you thought
any more about-- Ow!--

whether you want to tell me
about the secret thing?

And I just wanted
to, uh, say...

that I, uh,
I did meet Nate.

Oh, you--

You've met Nate before.
I think.

No? Oh.

Uh-- Oh, well,
he's a--

you know, he's a good colleague,

and, uh, he's a friend
of Kendall's.

They ran around
in Shanghai together.

And he's a dick.

Well, he's OK, but he has

a certain dickish quality
about him.

- Uh-huh.
- I think I've mentioned him...

to you before.

Look, Shiv, uh--

Is this real?

What do you--
What do you mean?

Am I--
Am I a total jerk?

- Uh--
- Do you really want to do this?

'Cause we don't have to.

Do this?

- All the people are here.
- Yeah.

And... besides, I want to.

I do-- I do want to.

I mean, is this...

W-What level are we on?

Are you fucking around on me?

- Tom.
- Honestly?

This Nate...

you know, I can--

I can-- There are vibes.

Oh, Tom. What, as soon
as two colleagues are close--

D.C. loves gossip.

No, sure.

Sometimes there are rumors,

and people, you know,
they're not fucking.

But sometimes
they totally are.

Honestly?

This is real.

I'm not fucking around on you.

Well, I trust you.

Good.

Thank you.

And that put--
puts my mind at rest.

So...

You know, when...

when we met,
I was in such a mess.

I need you. Hmm?

I do.

I--

If you want to know
about the secret stuff,

the cruise line stuff,
I'll tell you.

Because we have to
be able to trust.

Right?

Yeah?

Yeah, that'd be great.

( snorting )

- Hey. Hey. How ya doin'?
- Hi.

- Where are the kids?
- They're upstairs.

- Cool.
- They're sleeping.

- Yeah. Right.
- I saw Shiv.

How are
the happy couple? OK?

Good, you know,
maintaining the veneer.

Mm-hmm. You OK?

I'm fantastic.
I did, like,

120 push-ups this morning,
so, yeah, I think I'm OK.

Wow. Wow.
You did 120 push-ups.

Rava, I just have
a lot goin' on right now.

Uh-huh.

It's not--

not one of your
more relaxing interludes?

Yeah. It's not.

I'm, uh, I'm a big
fuckin' stress knot.
What can I tell you?

I probably have a tumor
eating me inside-out.

You want another drink?

Your lawyers have gotten
a little quiet on me,

so I'm just wondering
if that's--

Oh, yeah,
I don't know about that.

Can you maybe give them
a little nudge?

Sure.

I'll give them a nudge.

Ken. Ken.

Hmm?

- I know you...
- Oh, yeah, you do?

- Yeah, I know you.
- Really.

And if you want to talk,
I am here.

- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.

Well, I'm good.

Hmm.

Yeah, you know what,

the truth is my lawyers
are stonewalling

because your lawyers
are trying to fuck me over.

So shall we just
leave it to them,

and then you and me
can just flirt

and you can do your whole
la-dee-fuckin'-da smile

and we can just be all chummy
and everything because
I love all that shit?

Have a fuckin' line
if you need one that badly.

Yeah, I will, OK?

- Fuck you.
- Thanks.

Everything isn't what you think.
You know?

You can't see inside me
just 'cause I've told you
the occasional--

Man:
Sorry.

( jazz combo continues
playing )

Well, well, well.
What the fuck's
going on here?

This looks mighty
fucking cozy.

Um... hi. Hi, Kendall.

- Hi.
- We were just...

well, we were just saying that
I think that the first time
I came here

was back when you guys
were kids, like...

maybe 1986, I think?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right.
- Remember that?

Right. Great.
( clears throat )

Sorry. I'm sorry.
I should, uh...

circulate.

- OK.
- All rightie.

- We'll see ya later.
- Yep.

Well, I'm happy to tell,
but do we have to
do it tonight?

You know, 'cause it's about
the corporate cover-up
of crimes

and institutionalized
sexual abuse.

Oh, fuck.

Well... bad for Dad.
Great for Gil.

It's not very "wedding-y."

Yeah, still...

OK. So...

( exhales )

there were payoffs,

there was...

legal and semi-illegal
intimidation...

And do you personally
have plausible deniability?

Yes, I think so. Yeah.

Digital deep-clean,

and I shredded
the paper material.

- Great.
- An outside team.

And inside, signed
the paper out-- Greg.

- Greg.
- Yeah.

Just thought family
would be safest,

and Greg's expendable.
You know.

What, you'd... kill Greg?

No. But you know,
he's family, right?

- So we shut him up.
- Yeah, OK, right.

What are you
gonna do with this?

'Cause if I give you
the details,

it could really hurt me, Shiv.

You're not gonna
let me get hurt?

No.

I'll need specifics.

OK.

So...

So.

( helicopter approaching )

Keep him
away from me.

Your father's making
a subtle entrance...
as I see.

Hey.

Come on.
Forbidden fruit.

Nate.

Has the chicken
laid the egg?

Uh, no. Not yet. No joy.

Look at you.

I'm desperate
to make you concentrate

on nothing but me
for just 15 minutes.

You think I used to
concentrate on you?

Nate.

So, Greg Egg.

- Ah.
- How long do you give it?

I'm sorry?

The marriage.
How long do you give it?

Oh--

Is there doubt afoot?

I mean, I for one
think they look
solid as a rock.

But there you go,
I'm just an old romantic.

Yeah, yeah!

- Here we are.
- Thank you.

- Hello.
- Hey.

I'm feeling...
much better.

He's much improved.

Great.

Though you weren't
actually invited.

Maybe I can get them
to make you an omelet
and find you a chair.

I think usually
the ones who are paying
get a chair, no?

Oh. I didn't realize
you'd contributed, Marcia.

So rude of me. Thank you.

Let's get to
the fuckin' room, shall we?

How is the big man?
Well, well, well.

It's good to see you.
You good?

All good.
Everything is good,
acquisition-wise.

All we have to do is shut down
the voice of the fuckin' people
over there.

Stewy:
Oh, there he is. ( laughs )

( chuckles )

- Will you excuse me?
- Absolutely.

( no audible dialogue )

Kendall.

Kendall:
Hey, Dad.

So, what about it, son?

You want to jump out
of the trenches
and play a game of soccer?

Can I bring you some corn
to get you through the winter?

How ya doin'?
What's the news?

Oh, keepin' busy.

You need a reference
for your résumé?

Relatively punctual.

Prone to bouts
of insubordination.

Yeah, well, you know.

So...

how long are you
gonna fuck about
on the outside?

Uh-huh. You recruiting?

What, new Head of Being
Continually Thwarted?

How would a TV network
suit you? Huh?

One of the big guys
when I land it.

Could that work?

You feelin' the heat
on your own?

Yeah? A little?

You want me back?
Like to...

Like to put that
in a press release?

I'm just a lovely guy.

Can you top me up,
please?

So? What was all that
about, cocksucker?

Oh, he was just telling me
what a sensational job
you're doing.

Fuck you.

Did he mention the launch?

Does he know that
I've accelerated?

( short laugh )

Say something fuckin' funny?

- Hello.
- Oh.

Caroline Collingwood.
Mother of the bride.

Oh. Hi, I'm Stewy.

So, how long do you give it?

( laughs ) Uh,
I'd say forever.

Or until Shiv goes away
for the week,
whichever comes first.

Excuse me.

You... beast.

Hi. Mom.
I hear you're asking

"how long you give it."

Just a cheeky icebreaker.

OK, well, it's pretty
fuckin' horrible.

It's not all about you, Shiv.

Other people need
something to say.

OK, well, can you ask them
about the price
of fucking fish instead?

I like
your girlfriend, Ro.

Oh, thank you.
I met her at a sex party

where she was giving the groom
a blowjob.

( Caroline laughs )

- You should marry that one.
- Excuse me?

And Shiv, stop taking
everything so seriously.

I'm trying to sparkle.

When people ask me
how long I give it,
I say forever.

- OK, well--
- It will be forever.

- Well, thank you.
- Or it'll feel like forever.

She says she's being impish.

She's being a stone cold bitch.

( chuckles )

Hey, you want to meet up
later tonight? All together?

- At the place?
- Yeah.

So, uh...

...you talked
to the white whale?

What'd he have to say?

Nothing. I mean,

he's just shoring up
his position.

It's not real.
He's under pressure.

Are you good?
No wobbles, right?
You OK?

I'm not gonna
get coldcocked here, am I?

'Cause I heard from Frank

the Canadians might
not be too keen on me.

You talked to
the fucking grandfather clock?

Has he signed anything?

No, that would just be rude.

I mean, he-- he-- he--

he used to
give me flying lessons

in his fuckin' Cessna.

Come on, man.

You're not
a little prince anymore.

Don't rely on Sir Talky
of Fuckchester, please.

He's good, Stewy.

( chatter )

Gil:
Are we working
upstate, or...

Ah. Mr. Fuckhead,
I presume.

Gil:
Logan Roy,
Logan Roy, Logan Roy.

Are we allowed to talk?

I've nothing but admiration
for you personally, Mr. Roy.

Oh, really?

It's the sort of thing
you say, isn't it?

Ooh. Classy.

So, what is it
you've got against me?

You're the one
making it personal.

I'm just trying
to do my job,

think of everyone,
not just myself.

The interest of each
is the good of all.

That is the whole of the law.

You don't need to remind me
of my Adam Smith.

- I taught economics.
- Where? Kindergarten?

What about "From each
according to his ability,

to each according
to his need"?

What about,
and this isn't me talking,

but what about me,
Mr. Fucking Ability,

busting my chops

in my auto shop

so that some needy fuck
from the projects

can jack off on my time?

That's the issue,
I'm afraid.

Well, I find that

a very reductive view
of human nature.

I didn't make human nature,

but I do know what they read
and what they watch.

I make my nut off
what people really want.

Don't tell me about people.

I'd go flat broke in a week
if I didn't.

Marcia:
Nice to meet you, Senator.

Gil:
Yeah.

Shiv:
Sleep well, Dad.

- Marcia: Night.
- Thank you.

Might be your last good one
for a decade or so.

Hmm?

The cruise situation.

I don't know what
you're talkin' about.

Yeah, sure.

Well, you might soon.

Unless...

You could afford to be
un peu plus agréable, Siobhan.

You don't understand, Marcia.

Well, I know when I see
a spoiled slut.

Excuse me?

Tu m'entends.

What the fuck? Who are you?

Apart from a machine
for gathering power?

You don't know how vulnerable
a human being can be.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Have you ever had
a fucking grapefruit
without an agenda?

He made you
a playground,

and you think
it's a whole world.

Well, va te faire foutre.

Go out and see
how you like it.

Fuck off.

Well, you two seem to be
the best of friends.

Don't.

Aw, come on. It's OK.

Hey. Pinky.

Someone will be in touch.

Great.

Mmwahh.

Hmm.

You know,
you're fuckin' great.

Thank you!

You're not a head fuck.

Or a bitch or a leech.

( spits )

You say such pretty things.

You never once asked
to stay over...

or how it works with my dad,
or the trust,

or what my stake is,
you know?

I'm just pathologically
incurious.

What if I was prepared
to marry you?

Hello?

- Hiya.
- ( laughs )

- Right.
- What?

Shiv's getting married,

Kendall got married...

I see. So, how about you
come down off of Mt. Olympus

and propose
to a mere mortal?

Yeah, what if?

- No.
- No?

- Crazy.
- Why is this crazy?

Because this isn't
a normal relationship.

Why?

Well, um, for one thing,

we never fuck.

Oh, yeah, we do.

- No, we don't.
- Yeah, come on,

yeah, we do,
we've been busy, that's all.

No, you, like, kind of
jerked off near me, once.

There's no need
to be disgusting.

To be honest, Roman,
I've had more sexual contact

with the groom
than I have with you.

I asked you not to
talk about that.

I've slept with a lot of guys,
Roman Roy,

and if that is gonna
be a problem,
you better say.

It's not gonna be a problem,
it's Tom's.

You want to get married
or not?

Babe.

Do you think this is the way
to get someone to stay?

Shiv:
Hey-hey, Gerri.

Thank you
for meeting me here.

Uh-huh. What is this?

Uh, just a chat.

Right. It's your wedding;

why do I feel like
I'm about to get fucked?

OK, it's late.
Here's the situation.

I know all about
the cruise division
horror show.

And the cover-up.

And Gil wants
to go to town on you,

but maybe I can get him
to hold off

if ATN stops
the personal stuff.

Gil's wife.

You want us to stop
attacking him?

Poor liddle fwagile
pwesidential candidate.

No, keep attacking him
all through the primaries,

fire up our base,
and then just back off

for the general.

They're journalists, Shiv,
not remote-controlled little--

Yeah, sure they are.
I just feel confident
that, you know,

a little public comment or two
from my dad, an email,

and the minions
realign pretty quick.

( short laugh )

So you are, um--

just to be clear--

Oh, yeah.
No, I'm bullying you.

Yes. I'm blackmailing you.

I'm threatening
to destroy my father,

- however you want to put it.
- And you're happy with that?

Oh, come on,
it is what it is.

You used to be
such a nice girl.

- And Tom needs to be clean.
- Oh.

Move him on,
move him up--
maybe abroad.

Clean hands.

You're very pushy, missy.

Thank you, fairy godmother.

And if I was authorized
to accept,

can you get Mr. Smith
to fuck off back to Washington

and not pull down his pants
to show off his amazing morals?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure
I can persuade him
that a dirty LBJ

gets more done
than a clean McGovern.

( sighs )

OK, well, good night.

Hey.

No marriage advice
from my dear old godmother?

I don't know. I was never
very good at all that.

My husband died.

Don't let him die?

OK, what is this?
I was in the middle
of a conversation.

Dude, I am super-sorry. Jess,
could you give us a second?

No. Stew? Seriously.

Ken, I got--
I got Sandy on the line.

Sandy?

- Fuck.
- What is it?

He can tell you.

You can say, Stew.
What's with the theatrics?

Woman ( on speakerphone ):
Can you hold for Mr. Furness?

Stewy:
He was just there.
Where'd he go?

You're not gonna say?
Seriously?

Is this the coldcock?

I think it's just best
that he tell you.
That's all.

You're such a pussy.

Is-- Is it-- Is this,
uh, Canadian shit?

Um... it's about
that bear hug letter.

- Starting the takeover?
- OK.

An acceleration.

No, no, no. No, no, no.
Fuck off.

This weekend.

- Hello, Sandy?
- At my sister's wedding?

Are you insane?
What do you want this to be,

One Wedding and Four
Fuckin' Funerals?

Sandy ( on speakerphone ):
Hello?

Hi. Yeah, he told me already.

No, absolutely not,
no way, no. No! Fuck this!

Sandy:
Listen, but you told
Frank Vernon.

I t-- I--

That has-- I-- I hinted.

We've been contacted
by a reporter,

and they know
something's cooking.

We have to go tomorrow
or risk a leak,

which kills us.

No. N-- We're all together, OK?

This is--
This is not a good time.

Well, it really is
a good time.

Your dad's out of the loop
in the UK,

we catch him off-guard.

No.

I-- I need to,
uh, you know, pr--

p-p-p-prepare.

Uh, I-- I--

Sandy, I need...

prep time.

OK? F-For the approach.

You can't make an omelet
without breaking some dicks.

Look, I'm sorry. OK?

We'll be in touch
with the letter,

and let's close-coordinate
on the minute it's presented.

OK? Thanks, kid.

- ( disconnects )
- Motherfucker.

( Roman humming )

- Hey. How ya doin'?
- Hey.

Where's Con?

- Kendall: Uh--
- Did--?

- Con? Was he invited?
- Did you tell him?

- Oh-- Come on. What?
- Oh.

You want me to get him?
I told Willa.

Uh... my--

Fucking hell!

Why did you get in the boat?

No, I'm good. I got shit to do.

What?!
Why are we here?

I thought this was
for old times.

- Uh...
- No?

What about you,
you wanna smoke my jay?

Kendall:
No, I got shit to do too.

A lot cookin'.

What the fuck! Really?

All right, one hit.

There we go, motherfucker.

( all laughing )

Diss.

- Intercepted.
- Old times.

So listen, guys, um...

I do have something
I need to tell you.

Um... I was at Mom's earlier,

she had me going through
her papers and stuff,

sortin' through some shit,

and it turns out,
uh, Shiv...

you're adopted.

And Ken? You're adopted.

And Connor is obviously adopted.

And so all that shit's
comin' to me,

so you can fuck off.

I'm sorry, I don't know why
I asked you down here.

Roman:
No, it's good.

Congratulations.

I'm happy for you.

I'm happy for you.

Thanks.

It's gotta not be
so easy for you

to be on the outside,
seeing me do big shit.

Yeah.

Big of you. Thank you.

Yeah, well...

uh... can I suggest a hug?

- You serious? ( laughs )
- What is it-- What?

- Yeah. I'm serious.
- Why?

Just... come on.
Bring it in.

- You know you want to.
- I'm goin' butt-first.

- ( laughing )
- Here I come.

- Here we all are!
- Ahh!

( making monkey noises )

Ow! I think I cut
the nipple right off!

( laughing )

I don't know, I mean, like,

I think I owe it to him,

but I don't want to be
the one to tell him.

You know?

I mean, like,
what if he finds out
that I knew?

Like... I either--

I either owe it to tell him--
owe it to him to tell him,

or I don't owe it to him
to totally t-- not tell him.

I think tell him.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Maybe don't?

I don't fuckin' know.

( music playing )

( typing )

( music playing )

Kendall: Right.

Well, no we can't do that
because that'll trigger

the disclosure...

( continues, indistinct )

( music playing )

( sheep bleating )

Greg:
Oh, shit. That's him.
Wait. Stop. Stop.

Great night.
Th-Thanks for the ride.

- Greg: Hey, Tom!
- Tom: Hey, hey!

- Hey, wait up!
- Morning, Greg! ( laughs )

Look, Tom, uh,

I-- I, uh, didn't know...
( clears throat )

...like, exactly how
to tell you this,

and I've been up all night
trying to think exactly
how to...

broach--

So I want to just say that--
that--

I think that Shiv is,
like--

No. N--

I think she's
having an affair.

No. You're wrong.

No-- No, I'm--
I mean, not--

Shut up, Greg.
Shut up.

Well, no,
because I s-- I--

- You are. You're wrong.
- Maybe I'm wrong.

You are wrong,
so we're all good.

- OK. G-Good.
- OK? So, good.

Thank you for your time.

Yeah. And you don't
want to hear--

I don't want to hear anything,
Greg, because it was
a misunderstanding, OK?

- I saw what I saw--
- Shut up.

I just said shut up.
Shut the fuck up.

All right,
but I think you should know--

No. Shut--
Shut the fuck up, Greg.

- I'm trying to help you.
- Shut up, will ya?

- Fuckin' shut up.
- Dude! What the hell?!

I told you
to fuckin' shut up!

Greg:
Get off of me!

- Just shut up!
- What the fuck, man?!

- Yeah, I--
- Shut up!

Gil:
You know,

I was quite outraged
when she suggested this.

I don't like being
outside the U.S.
for too long.

Doesn't sit well.

And there's a mercilessness
I miss.

I'm not used to
these squalid little deals.

Yeah, living with
the safety catch off,

fuckin' without a rubber.

Everywhere else
feels so soft.

I mean, look at
this fuckin' place.

Yeah, well, it--
it's all quite refined.

Logan:
Refined? Ahh.

Slaves. Cotton
and sugar.

This country's nothing
but an off-shore laundry

for turning evil
into hard currency.

( laughs )

Is this where you tell me
you're working for
the communists?

And now it just lies here,

living off its capital,
sucking in immigrants

to turn it and stop it
getting bed sores.

I was looking forward
to taking you down.

You've got a very
persuasive daughter.

But doesn't a deal
feel so much better?

Handshake?

I don't think either of us
want to get dirty, do we?

( chatter )

Yeah.

( chatter )

( printer buzzing )

Stewy:
You want to game it?

Kendall:
Sure.

Deliver the letter,

he calls emergency board...

we go public,
world blows up.

The arbs dive in,

he tells the world
some fairy tales,

talks poison pill,
other defenses,

board says, "Hang on,
we don't want to get sued."

( chatter )

Thank you.

( laughs )

Dad says,
"Fuck the shareholders,"

he calls analysts,
calls hedge funds,

tries to find a white knight,

calls us,
tells us to fuck off.

He's a good man, Pinky.

He's a good man.

Price rockets, because everyone
knows we're gonna win.

Stewy:
You think there's
a chance he'll just do a deal?

Have you met my dad?

Nope. He'll never retreat.

It'll be hostile,
hostile, hostile.

( music playing )