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1
00:00:05,788 --> 00:00:13,752
[music playing]
2
00:01:03,498 --> 00:01:06,196
[panting]
3
00:01:07,023 --> 00:01:08,677
OK, what were we supposed to do?
4
00:01:08,764 --> 00:01:09,504
Kill her?
5
00:01:09,591 --> 00:01:15,249
[music playing]
6
00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:17,338
Oh man.
7
00:01:18,382 --> 00:01:20,515
I can't believe I'm
here with you right now.
8
00:01:20,602 --> 00:01:22,256
Going to school
before school starts.
9
00:01:22,995 --> 00:01:24,562
You're such a dweeb, dude.
10
00:01:24,649 --> 00:01:27,087
And worse than that, I think
it's rubbing off on me.
11
00:01:27,652 --> 00:01:28,958
Dude, chill out.
12
00:01:29,045 --> 00:01:30,786
This is going to take
like two seconds.
13
00:01:30,873 --> 00:01:32,788
I'm not even part of your
gay little club, dude.
14
00:01:32,875 --> 00:01:34,877
I really wish you
would have told me
15
00:01:34,964 --> 00:01:36,792
that you were doing this
today before inviting me over.
16
00:01:37,358 --> 00:01:38,359
I didn't invite you.
17
00:01:38,446 --> 00:01:39,360
You just showed up.
18
00:01:39,447 --> 00:01:40,230
Still, false advertising.
19
00:01:40,317 --> 00:01:45,975
[music playing]
20
00:01:46,454 --> 00:01:48,847
Hey, Sammy.
21
00:01:49,413 --> 00:01:50,197
Where is everyone?
22
00:01:50,284 --> 00:01:51,328
[inaudible]?
23
00:01:51,415 --> 00:01:52,721
Look, this isn't a team meeting.
24
00:01:52,808 --> 00:01:53,722
So let's get right to it.
25
00:01:53,809 --> 00:01:56,116
Have you seen this?
26
00:01:56,899 --> 00:01:58,422
Everyone has seen this video.
27
00:01:59,336 --> 00:02:00,555
This is like Chernobyl bad.
28
00:02:00,642 --> 00:02:02,383
Who the hell is Chernobyl?
29
00:02:02,470 --> 00:02:05,037
I like to think I created a
certain standard for this group
30
00:02:05,908 --> 00:02:07,605
that you just no
longer live up to.
31
00:02:07,692 --> 00:02:09,390
And so Simon,
you're out of FMSDA.
32
00:02:09,477 --> 00:02:10,695
I'm going to need
your jump drive
33
00:02:10,782 --> 00:02:12,480
and your computer
lab key card back.
34
00:02:15,787 --> 00:02:17,876
I'm prepared to hear you
defend yourself and make
35
00:02:19,008 --> 00:02:21,315
me understand why you
deserve to stay in FMSDA.
36
00:02:26,537 --> 00:02:28,322
Rip a whole new asshole dude.
37
00:02:31,847 --> 00:02:32,978
Whatever.
38
00:02:33,370 --> 00:02:35,285
I'm sorry.
39
00:02:35,764 --> 00:02:37,113
Compelling.
40
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:41,161
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.
41
00:02:41,857 --> 00:02:43,511
One, two, three, four--
42
00:02:43,598 --> 00:02:45,165
This ain't your avenue, man.
43
00:02:46,035 --> 00:02:47,776
Would you just shut your mouth?
44
00:02:47,863 --> 00:02:50,039
Every time you open your mouth,
you just make things worse.
45
00:02:50,126 --> 00:02:52,868
Dude, we are going to kick this
school's ass this year, man.
46
00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:54,130
Oh man.
47
00:02:54,217 --> 00:02:55,262
Oh shit, lacrosse team.
48
00:02:56,045 --> 00:02:58,047
Hide, hide, hide, hide, hide.
49
00:03:03,922 --> 00:03:05,489
There's that son of a bitch.
50
00:03:06,229 --> 00:03:07,361
[bashrethedorf?]
51
00:03:07,970 --> 00:03:09,145
Oh, that's Desiree.
52
00:03:12,235 --> 00:03:15,412
I cannot not understand what
she sees in that douche bag.
53
00:03:21,462 --> 00:03:22,332
What was that?
54
00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:23,681
No one.
55
00:03:23,768 --> 00:03:24,726
You were looking at
her, weren't you.
56
00:03:24,813 --> 00:03:31,036
[inaudible] [bashrethedorf?]
57
00:03:31,776 --> 00:03:32,864
Honey, I know what I'm doing.
58
00:03:32,951 --> 00:03:34,649
You obviously don't.
59
00:03:34,736 --> 00:03:37,608
Anyone who comes to the door
can see inside the house now.
60
00:03:37,695 --> 00:03:39,393
The TV part supposed
to go on the inside.
61
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:41,221
The TV part, would you
listen to yourself?
62
00:03:41,308 --> 00:03:43,397
The monitor is on the
inside of the house,
63
00:03:43,484 --> 00:03:46,008
then how is any going to know
that we have a video intercom.
64
00:03:46,095 --> 00:03:48,228
Why does anyone have to know
that we have a video intercom?
65
00:03:49,403 --> 00:03:54,277
Because if I'm going to
spend $537.51 on something,
66
00:03:55,409 --> 00:03:57,324
I don't want to have to
hide it from my neighbors.
67
00:03:57,759 --> 00:04:00,152
I can't.
68
00:04:00,588 --> 00:04:02,111
[door slam]
69
00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:06,246
[music playing]
70
00:04:06,898 --> 00:04:07,943
How's it going, Dad?
71
00:04:08,422 --> 00:04:09,336
Oh, you know.
72
00:04:09,423 --> 00:04:10,685
I can't complain.
73
00:04:10,772 --> 00:04:12,991
So how's school going?
74
00:04:13,775 --> 00:04:16,081
School hasn't started yet, Dad.
75
00:04:16,821 --> 00:04:18,258
But it was a pretty rough day.
76
00:04:18,693 --> 00:04:19,389
Good, good.
77
00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:20,651
Just keep it up.
78
00:04:20,738 --> 00:04:27,397
[music playing]
79
00:04:32,576 --> 00:04:35,144
You know, I heard Ahmad even
got a girl from this summer.
80
00:04:39,453 --> 00:04:41,150
I'm sick of this shit.
81
00:04:41,716 --> 00:04:42,760
That was my iPad.
82
00:04:42,847 --> 00:04:44,284
I'm sick of being a loser, man.
83
00:04:44,806 --> 00:04:46,416
I've had it.
84
00:04:46,503 --> 00:04:47,896
Guys like Bashly get all the
girls, and what do we get?
85
00:04:47,983 --> 00:04:49,158
Pantsed on YouTube.
86
00:04:49,637 --> 00:04:51,291
Yeah, I know.
87
00:04:51,769 --> 00:04:53,510
Wait, Ahmad?
88
00:04:53,597 --> 00:04:55,991
The spoiled little Indian kid
from your iPhone club thingy.
89
00:04:56,818 --> 00:04:57,949
OK, first of all, that's racist.
90
00:04:58,036 --> 00:04:59,560
I don't see how that's racist.
91
00:04:59,647 --> 00:05:01,431
He's from India and he's
a squirrly looking fella.
92
00:05:01,518 --> 00:05:02,302
Well, yeah.
93
00:05:02,650 --> 00:05:04,129
Him.
94
00:05:04,216 --> 00:05:06,480
How did that little dude
get a girl to date him?
95
00:05:07,176 --> 00:05:08,830
Dude probably made it up.
96
00:05:08,917 --> 00:05:10,571
No, I've seen pictures of
them together and everything.
97
00:05:10,658 --> 00:05:11,746
So, it's easy to fake that.
98
00:05:11,833 --> 00:05:15,402
[music playing]
99
00:05:16,490 --> 00:05:19,188
You know, it actually
is really easy to fake.
100
00:05:20,189 --> 00:05:21,625
We're going to make
ourselves girlfriends.
101
00:05:22,234 --> 00:05:22,887
No, no.
102
00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:23,758
That's creepy.
103
00:05:23,845 --> 00:05:25,412
That's beyond creepy.
104
00:05:25,499 --> 00:05:26,978
Well dude, I hate
to break it to you,
105
00:05:27,065 --> 00:05:27,762
but we're kind of pathetic
and creepy already.
106
00:05:27,849 --> 00:05:29,067
Deal with it.
107
00:05:29,154 --> 00:05:29,894
People would see
right through that.
108
00:05:29,981 --> 00:05:31,287
No they wouldn't.
109
00:05:31,374 --> 00:05:32,244
You're like an idiot
savant computer guy.
110
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,159
Just make it do things.
111
00:05:34,638 --> 00:05:36,161
Make it work.
112
00:05:36,248 --> 00:05:37,946
There is no way that I'm
going to sit here and make
113
00:05:38,033 --> 00:05:39,382
a girlfriend on my computer.
114
00:05:40,122 --> 00:05:41,602
It doesn't work that way.
115
00:05:41,689 --> 00:05:44,213
You know, just think about
all the opportunities
116
00:05:45,214 --> 00:05:46,824
that this little
computer could give us.
117
00:05:46,911 --> 00:05:49,044
Just think about all the
stupid app shit that you make.
118
00:05:49,131 --> 00:05:50,393
Don't call it stupid.
119
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:51,742
All that really
interesting app stuff
120
00:05:51,829 --> 00:05:53,091
you make, why don't
you just make it,
121
00:05:53,178 --> 00:05:56,007
you know, interestinger,
like with boobies.
122
00:05:56,791 --> 00:05:58,619
Think about the boobies, Simon.
123
00:05:59,315 --> 00:06:00,447
Think about the boobies.
124
00:06:00,534 --> 00:06:04,712
[music playing]
125
00:06:10,892 --> 00:06:12,154
It's not going to work.
126
00:06:12,241 --> 00:06:14,330
We just post a
bunch pictures of us
127
00:06:14,417 --> 00:06:16,463
Photoshopped in with some girls,
claiming to be our girlfriends.
128
00:06:17,551 --> 00:06:19,291
People are going to
see right through that.
129
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,597
Haven't you seen "Catfish?"
130
00:06:20,684 --> 00:06:22,077
Here me out.
131
00:06:22,164 --> 00:06:23,600
We take different pieces
from different girls
132
00:06:23,687 --> 00:06:25,428
on the Internet.
133
00:06:25,515 --> 00:06:26,821
We put them together to make
an amalgam of a girl, you know?
134
00:06:26,908 --> 00:06:28,431
It's one that can't be searched.
135
00:06:28,518 --> 00:06:30,172
Different hair from this
girl, eyes from this girl,
136
00:06:30,259 --> 00:06:32,130
lips from this girl,
tits from that girl,
137
00:06:32,783 --> 00:06:34,132
real Frankenstein shit.
138
00:06:34,219 --> 00:06:39,486
[music playing]
139
00:06:40,617 --> 00:06:42,489
Like, they go to be hot,
but they can't be too hot,
140
00:06:42,924 --> 00:06:44,316
you know?
141
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,710
Like, in your case maybe
a little bit jerkey.
142
00:06:48,103 --> 00:06:53,500
We hack into Facebook, we
go back in time literally
143
00:06:54,457 --> 00:06:56,024
by changing the
days on the photos,
144
00:06:57,068 --> 00:06:59,288
and put it in like
they've been on for years.
145
00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:00,898
You know?
146
00:07:00,985 --> 00:07:02,334
Like sweet sixteens,
family reunions,
147
00:07:03,118 --> 00:07:05,425
quinceaneras and all that shit.
148
00:07:06,469 --> 00:07:08,776
Like, they need to be
interactive, you know?
149
00:07:10,081 --> 00:07:11,996
Write an iPhone ad that
will text and call us.
150
00:07:12,083 --> 00:07:24,052
[music playing]
151
00:07:40,329 --> 00:07:43,593
What are you going
to name yours?
152
00:07:43,985 --> 00:07:45,421
Lilly.
153
00:07:45,987 --> 00:07:48,076
Her name is Lilly.
154
00:07:48,642 --> 00:07:57,215
[music playing]
155
00:08:22,023 --> 00:08:22,632
College girls?
156
00:08:22,719 --> 00:08:23,720
No way.
157
00:08:24,112 --> 00:08:26,506
[ding]
158
00:08:35,123 --> 00:08:36,603
We now have girlfriends.
159
00:08:36,690 --> 00:08:45,437
[music playing]
160
00:09:08,635 --> 00:09:09,461
[record scratch]
161
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:12,552
Greetings lame dicks.
162
00:09:12,987 --> 00:09:13,596
Stanley.
163
00:09:13,683 --> 00:09:14,641
Whats up?
164
00:09:14,728 --> 00:09:16,207
So, I heard about your GFs.
165
00:09:16,730 --> 00:09:17,339
Oh, did you now?
166
00:09:17,426 --> 00:09:18,427
Yeah, I did.
167
00:09:18,514 --> 00:09:19,341
We haven't even told anybody.
168
00:09:19,428 --> 00:09:20,385
I saw it on Facebook.
169
00:09:20,472 --> 00:09:22,431
Everybody saw it on Facebook.
170
00:09:22,910 --> 00:09:24,085
Well, our girls.
171
00:09:24,172 --> 00:09:25,042
They just had to
go tell everybody.
172
00:09:25,129 --> 00:09:26,000
You know how girls are?
173
00:09:26,087 --> 00:09:26,957
Yeah.
174
00:09:27,044 --> 00:09:27,697
They're really into us.
175
00:09:27,784 --> 00:09:28,698
Yeah.
176
00:09:28,785 --> 00:09:29,525
Really into us.
177
00:09:29,612 --> 00:09:30,439
So where are they?
178
00:09:31,005 --> 00:09:32,006
Oh, that's right.
179
00:09:32,093 --> 00:09:32,833
They're college girls, right?
180
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:33,529
Hm-hm.
181
00:09:33,616 --> 00:09:34,965
Totally.
182
00:09:35,052 --> 00:09:36,488
So why didn't you
mention them yesterday?
183
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:37,533
Well, because you were
being a dick yesterday.
184
00:09:37,620 --> 00:09:38,099
What college do they go to?
185
00:09:38,186 --> 00:09:38,752
State.
186
00:09:38,839 --> 00:09:39,491
Where'd you meet them?
187
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:40,928
Outward bound.
188
00:09:41,015 --> 00:09:42,016
Why is this the first
time we heard of it.
189
00:09:42,103 --> 00:09:43,626
Extreme wilderness adventure.
190
00:09:43,713 --> 00:09:44,148
We're only allowed to use
technology once per week
191
00:09:44,235 --> 00:09:45,019
and call it--
192
00:09:45,106 --> 00:09:45,628
Where are they from?
193
00:09:45,715 --> 00:09:46,368
Stacey?
194
00:09:46,455 --> 00:09:46,934
Willowsbrooke.
195
00:09:47,021 --> 00:09:47,630
Lilly?
196
00:09:47,717 --> 00:09:48,762
Northbrooke.
197
00:09:48,849 --> 00:09:49,371
Have they met your parents yet?
198
00:09:49,458 --> 00:09:50,111
Not yet.
199
00:09:50,198 --> 00:09:51,329
We're keeping it casual.
200
00:09:51,416 --> 00:09:52,287
How far have you
gotten with her?
201
00:09:52,374 --> 00:09:52,940
A gentleman never tells.
202
00:09:53,027 --> 00:09:53,462
Bullshit.
203
00:09:53,549 --> 00:09:55,029
Peg?
204
00:09:55,116 --> 00:09:55,595
Oh, we're boning like rabbits,
but like really horny rabbits.
205
00:09:55,682 --> 00:09:56,160
Dude.
206
00:09:56,247 --> 00:09:56,726
What?
207
00:09:56,813 --> 00:09:57,509
Gross.
208
00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:57,901
[phone buzzing]
209
00:09:58,685 --> 00:09:59,642
Oh, lookey here.
210
00:10:01,165 --> 00:10:02,558
Calling me right now,
the old ball and chain.
211
00:10:02,906 --> 00:10:03,559
Nice.
212
00:10:03,646 --> 00:10:04,560
Yeah.
213
00:10:04,647 --> 00:10:06,606
Well, see you later, dude.
214
00:10:07,128 --> 00:10:08,738
[bell ringing]
215
00:10:08,825 --> 00:10:11,306
Mr. Nathaniel Hawthorne
working on the emotion
216
00:10:12,481 --> 00:10:15,789
of his protagonist in this
work, remembering class
217
00:10:16,790 --> 00:10:21,533
that the protagonist
is the main character.
218
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:26,713
The protagonist faces
almost a force of agony
219
00:10:27,365 --> 00:10:28,628
that has befallen him.
220
00:10:29,672 --> 00:10:31,587
I'm sorry about what
happened yesterday.
221
00:10:31,674 --> 00:10:34,851
I wanted you to stay
on and be on Rusty.
222
00:10:35,286 --> 00:10:36,461
It's OK.
223
00:10:36,548 --> 00:10:37,245
It's really not
that big of deal.
224
00:10:37,332 --> 00:10:38,725
It is to me.
225
00:10:38,812 --> 00:10:40,422
I actually wanted to
win something this year.
226
00:10:40,509 --> 00:10:42,337
But with you gone, that's
pretty much out the window.
227
00:10:43,512 --> 00:10:49,344
Something that you just
don't like about yourself.
228
00:10:49,823 --> 00:10:50,911
Well, I have.
229
00:10:51,781 --> 00:10:54,654
Can any of you
guess what mine is?
230
00:10:57,831 --> 00:10:59,789
It's my pinky toe.
231
00:11:00,355 --> 00:11:01,530
I can't move it.
232
00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:02,836
[laughter]
233
00:11:03,358 --> 00:11:10,365
[music playing]
234
00:11:12,933 --> 00:11:14,674
[phone buzzing]
235
00:11:19,287 --> 00:11:22,682
[clicking]
236
00:11:31,299 --> 00:11:32,692
[phone buzzing]
237
00:11:34,215 --> 00:11:41,048
[clicking]
238
00:11:46,227 --> 00:11:48,011
[phone dinging]
239
00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:58,979
[clicking]
240
00:12:04,767 --> 00:12:05,594
[phone dinging]
241
00:12:09,119 --> 00:12:10,642
[clicking]
242
00:12:11,165 --> 00:12:12,601
[phone dinging]
243
00:12:16,126 --> 00:12:17,562
[phone dinging]
244
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:21,915
[clicking]
245
00:12:25,092 --> 00:12:28,530
[phone buzzing]
246
00:12:31,446 --> 00:12:33,927
[laughter]
247
00:12:35,232 --> 00:12:40,107
Now class, let's quiet down
because this is the best part.
248
00:12:40,890 --> 00:12:44,764
[music playing]
249
00:12:45,286 --> 00:12:46,678
[phone dinging]
250
00:12:51,814 --> 00:12:54,034
[clicking]
251
00:12:56,210 --> 00:12:57,820
Peg.
252
00:12:58,168 --> 00:12:58,778
Hey.
253
00:12:59,169 --> 00:13:00,997
What's up?
254
00:13:01,650 --> 00:13:03,826
Who are you texting?
255
00:13:04,348 --> 00:13:06,481
My girlfriend.
256
00:13:06,829 --> 00:13:07,525
Oh.
257
00:13:07,612 --> 00:13:09,571
What, what, why?
258
00:13:10,006 --> 00:13:10,877
Oh, nothing.
259
00:13:10,964 --> 00:13:12,617
I was just thinking--
260
00:13:12,966 --> 00:13:13,793
nothing.
261
00:13:14,315 --> 00:13:15,098
Thinking what?
262
00:13:18,145 --> 00:13:21,539
Let's talk after class.
263
00:13:21,975 --> 00:13:23,498
Oh, yeah.
264
00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:25,979
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
265
00:13:31,158 --> 00:13:35,553
[phone dinging]
266
00:13:36,554 --> 00:13:38,992
[music playing]
[SINGING] A lot of butts.
267
00:13:41,516 --> 00:13:42,822
Sorry, guys.
268
00:13:43,518 --> 00:13:45,694
It's my girlfriend, Lilly.
269
00:13:46,129 --> 00:13:49,916
[laughter]
270
00:13:50,525 --> 00:13:52,005
She' really into me.
271
00:13:52,570 --> 00:13:53,876
Well, that's it.
272
00:13:54,964 --> 00:13:57,140
Now, from now on when
you enter this class,
273
00:13:57,227 --> 00:13:59,926
you will leave your phones
right here in this basket.
274
00:14:01,014 --> 00:14:04,539
And when you leave, you
can take them with you.
275
00:14:05,018 --> 00:14:08,195
[bell ringing]
276
00:14:15,376 --> 00:14:17,160
I thought you were
different, Simon.
277
00:14:22,339 --> 00:14:23,775
[laughter]
278
00:14:28,084 --> 00:14:29,956
Dude, I accidentally
mixed up the messages.
279
00:14:30,043 --> 00:14:31,783
Stacy go the ones I wrote
and Lilly got the ones
280
00:14:32,306 --> 00:14:33,263
that you wrote.
281
00:14:33,350 --> 00:14:34,569
That's some sick stuff man.
282
00:14:35,004 --> 00:14:35,570
I know.
283
00:14:35,657 --> 00:14:36,614
Seriously?
284
00:14:36,701 --> 00:14:37,615
Now, give me your phone.
285
00:14:37,702 --> 00:14:38,312
I want to change it back.
286
00:14:38,399 --> 00:14:39,661
Oh, no way.
287
00:14:39,748 --> 00:14:40,923
No, this just worked
on Desiree, dude.
288
00:14:41,010 --> 00:14:41,532
She wants to meet
me after class.
289
00:14:41,619 --> 00:14:42,620
I got to go.
290
00:14:42,707 --> 00:14:44,796
I got a semi in my pants.
291
00:14:45,319 --> 00:14:47,538
[music playing]
292
00:14:48,713 --> 00:14:50,715
First period, first fucking
day of class and you're
293
00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:51,978
going to be fucking what?
294
00:14:52,065 --> 00:14:52,630
Phone vag?
295
00:14:52,717 --> 00:14:53,631
Language.
296
00:14:53,718 --> 00:14:55,416
My bad Mr. Crowley.
297
00:14:55,503 --> 00:14:57,766
What are you going to
do to make it up to me?
298
00:14:58,288 --> 00:14:59,681
Anything you want.
299
00:15:00,247 --> 00:15:01,117
Homework for a week.
300
00:15:01,204 --> 00:15:03,815
Books.
301
00:15:04,207 --> 00:15:05,078
A month.
302
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:06,601
Jesus Christ.
303
00:15:11,127 --> 00:15:12,041
Come on, Peg.
304
00:15:12,128 --> 00:15:13,086
[bell ringing]
305
00:15:14,783 --> 00:15:16,916
Don't fuck with my flow or
I'm going to punch your face
306
00:15:17,525 --> 00:15:18,439
right in the face.
307
00:15:18,526 --> 00:15:19,483
Vag.
308
00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:28,928
[music playing]
309
00:15:45,118 --> 00:15:46,946
[phone dinging]
310
00:15:47,468 --> 00:15:55,867
[music playing]
311
00:16:06,356 --> 00:16:07,836
Stupid, pathetic idea.
312
00:16:12,406 --> 00:16:17,802
[phone buzzing]
313
00:16:19,761 --> 00:16:21,850
I wish I could make you real.
314
00:16:22,329 --> 00:16:27,769
[music playing]
315
00:16:32,948 --> 00:16:33,644
Dinner.
316
00:16:33,731 --> 00:16:39,955
[music playing]
317
00:16:40,695 --> 00:16:42,305
Simon, have you been crying?
318
00:16:42,871 --> 00:16:43,741
Yeah.
319
00:16:43,828 --> 00:16:44,786
Why on earth were you--
320
00:16:44,873 --> 00:16:46,396
I had it all wrong, Mom.
321
00:16:46,483 --> 00:16:48,311
I thought it should be a
program that's executable,
322
00:16:48,398 --> 00:16:50,357
a robot that would just randomly
send out messages I told it to.
323
00:16:50,444 --> 00:16:51,662
But that's not it at all.
324
00:16:51,749 --> 00:16:53,229
You see, it had to
think and respond.
325
00:16:53,316 --> 00:16:54,709
If I just work on my
algorithm a little bit more
326
00:16:54,796 --> 00:16:56,145
to define the perimeters
of what we perceive
327
00:16:56,232 --> 00:16:58,278
as human emotion, then just
a few simple responses,
328
00:16:58,365 --> 00:16:59,975
I can feed it information.
329
00:17:00,062 --> 00:17:02,108
Wait, I don't have to
feed it information.
330
00:17:02,195 --> 00:17:03,979
As long as it has an
internet connection,
331
00:17:04,066 --> 00:17:05,633
it has a brain that has
access to all the information
332
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:06,938
it could ever want.
333
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,201
My algorithm just
need to provide it
334
00:17:08,288 --> 00:17:09,811
with access and a
filter, that way
335
00:17:09,898 --> 00:17:11,334
it can make
decisions and respond
336
00:17:11,421 --> 00:17:12,814
to me based on those decisions.
337
00:17:12,901 --> 00:17:14,642
It's not just a
random generator,
338
00:17:14,729 --> 00:17:17,253
it's a program that can
actually think and carry
339
00:17:17,340 --> 00:17:20,735
on a conversation like a
companion, like a person.
340
00:17:21,301 --> 00:17:22,998
That's nice, dear.
341
00:17:23,085 --> 00:17:24,913
We're definitely going
to talk about why
342
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:26,219
you were crying, though.
343
00:17:26,567 --> 00:17:27,742
Later.
344
00:17:27,829 --> 00:17:28,873
Now, your father
and I are leaving
345
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:30,745
for Aunt Kate's in the morning.
346
00:17:30,832 --> 00:17:32,747
I wrote out a list
of chores that you
347
00:17:32,834 --> 00:17:35,054
need to do when we're gone,
it's on the chalkboard.
348
00:17:35,141 --> 00:17:37,056
Peg can come by, but
he cannot stay past 10.
349
00:17:37,752 --> 00:17:41,930
We'll be back on Sunday.
350
00:17:42,278 --> 00:17:43,236
Simon.
351
00:17:43,323 --> 00:17:44,193
Did you hear me?
352
00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:45,716
Got it, Mom.
353
00:17:46,239 --> 00:17:47,588
I worry about him.
354
00:17:47,675 --> 00:17:49,242
He can't wait to get laid.
355
00:17:49,633 --> 00:17:51,896
Harry.
356
00:17:52,245 --> 00:17:53,159
What?
357
00:17:53,246 --> 00:18:03,995
[music playing]
358
00:18:16,486 --> 00:18:18,009
So now you need
a sense of humor.
359
00:18:18,532 --> 00:18:26,366
[music playing]
360
00:18:39,466 --> 00:18:40,989
So, what about the
tough questions?
361
00:18:41,511 --> 00:18:48,257
[music playing]
362
00:18:55,395 --> 00:18:57,484
Sex drive, maybe a little one.
363
00:18:58,267 --> 00:19:03,881
[music playing]
364
00:19:28,863 --> 00:19:30,865
[phone buzzing]
365
00:19:31,866 --> 00:19:43,182
[music playing]
366
00:19:50,363 --> 00:19:51,799
[phone buzzing]
367
00:19:52,800 --> 00:20:00,199
[music playing]
368
00:20:03,376 --> 00:20:13,429
[phone buzzing]
369
00:20:13,429 --> 00:20:38,411
[phone buzzing]
370
00:20:41,196 --> 00:20:42,545
This is going to take all night.
371
00:20:42,632 --> 00:20:49,465
[music playing]
372
00:21:07,527 --> 00:21:08,963
[beeping]
373
00:21:12,967 --> 00:21:20,888
[music playing]
374
00:21:21,541 --> 00:21:23,064
OK Simon, we're leaving.
375
00:21:24,195 --> 00:21:26,328
They're toaster tarts in
the pantry for breakfast.
376
00:21:27,068 --> 00:21:30,114
Don't be late for school.
377
00:21:30,463 --> 00:21:31,464
Simon?
378
00:21:31,855 --> 00:21:33,466
Simon!
379
00:21:33,857 --> 00:21:37,252
OK, Mom.
380
00:21:37,774 --> 00:21:38,558
[phone buzzing]
381
00:21:39,776 --> 00:21:48,132
[music playing]
382
00:22:33,917 --> 00:22:34,701
[phone buzzing]
383
00:22:36,180 --> 00:22:47,366
[music playing]
[SINGING] Anything could.
384
00:22:47,888 --> 00:22:48,715
[phone buzzing]
385
00:22:50,151 --> 00:22:57,288
[music playing]
[SINGING] Anything could.
386
00:23:22,792 --> 00:23:26,187
Anything could happen.
387
00:23:26,796 --> 00:23:28,624
Anything could happen.
388
00:23:40,810 --> 00:23:42,246
[phone buzzing]
389
00:23:43,247 --> 00:23:53,214
[music playing]
390
00:24:39,086 --> 00:24:41,392
OMG, did you hear Bash
and Desiree broke up?
391
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:43,743
He is so going to
[inaudible] at his party.
392
00:24:44,091 --> 00:24:45,571
OMG.
393
00:24:46,136 --> 00:24:47,137
[phone buzzing]
394
00:24:56,103 --> 00:25:03,110
[music playing]
395
00:25:09,682 --> 00:25:10,857
Hey, no.
396
00:25:19,082 --> 00:25:20,519
[phone buzzing]
397
00:25:23,173 --> 00:25:25,306
Sup, Vag?
398
00:25:25,741 --> 00:25:27,003
What's this?
399
00:25:27,090 --> 00:25:28,744
Aw, we have all the
time in the world.
400
00:25:29,702 --> 00:25:31,834
No you don't, you
have until Friday.
401
00:25:33,009 --> 00:25:34,707
That's our English
assignment, especially
402
00:25:34,794 --> 00:25:36,622
since you were too much of a
pussy to show up this morning.
403
00:25:37,753 --> 00:25:40,495
I need it by Friday night,
so bring it to my party.
404
00:25:40,582 --> 00:25:43,324
And bring your little girlfriend
too, I hear she's in college.
405
00:25:43,411 --> 00:25:45,587
I totally get off on the idea
of the first college girl
406
00:25:45,674 --> 00:25:48,285
I'll go balls deep
is stolen from you.
407
00:25:48,372 --> 00:25:50,592
Hey, there's that bugger Peg
over there with Desiree again.
408
00:25:51,245 --> 00:25:52,289
Like I give a shit.
409
00:25:52,376 --> 00:25:54,161
I got girls waiting to blow me.
410
00:25:54,248 --> 00:25:56,163
Let that geek carry her
purse for a few days.
411
00:25:56,772 --> 00:25:58,339
I need a break anyway.
412
00:25:58,426 --> 00:25:59,819
But if your BFF
touches her, I'll
413
00:25:59,906 --> 00:26:01,647
split both your
nut sacks in half.
414
00:26:01,734 --> 00:26:03,474
You got the Vag?
415
00:26:04,432 --> 00:26:07,261
How can I have a nut
sack if I'm a vag?
416
00:26:10,873 --> 00:26:19,534
Jell-O. Friday.
417
00:26:40,599 --> 00:26:42,035
OK, so now we're
in agreement here.
418
00:26:42,122 --> 00:26:44,037
Cindy's office squad
which is perfect,
419
00:26:44,124 --> 00:26:45,821
because when you look
at your reputation
420
00:26:45,908 --> 00:26:48,607
now we just can't have the
whole squad brought down by it.
421
00:26:48,955 --> 00:26:49,651
Right.
422
00:26:49,738 --> 00:26:51,348
I know.
423
00:26:51,435 --> 00:26:53,829
So, shopping, I'll get her
make up all in place, and--
424
00:26:54,264 --> 00:26:55,396
Desiree.
425
00:26:55,483 --> 00:26:58,573
Anyway, what I'm
thinking-- what?
426
00:26:58,660 --> 00:27:00,357
You know what, why
don't we just finish up
427
00:27:00,444 --> 00:27:01,663
this conversation tomorrow.
428
00:27:01,750 --> 00:27:02,359
All right.
429
00:27:02,446 --> 00:27:02,838
Sounds good.
430
00:27:02,925 --> 00:27:03,709
OK.
431
00:27:03,796 --> 00:27:08,670
Bye-bye.
432
00:27:08,757 --> 00:27:10,193
I just wanted to
see if you wanted
433
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:11,542
to hang out and or something.
434
00:27:12,500 --> 00:27:18,332
I know what you want,
you want to kiss me.
435
00:27:22,292 --> 00:27:23,250
Maybe, maybe.
436
00:27:23,816 --> 00:27:24,904
You know, whatever.
437
00:27:24,991 --> 00:27:26,122
Yeah, sure.
438
00:27:26,209 --> 00:27:28,647
What do you want to do, man?
439
00:27:29,169 --> 00:27:30,344
I don't even care.
440
00:27:31,171 --> 00:27:33,086
I have an idea, how about this?
441
00:27:33,173 --> 00:27:34,827
Why don't you come over
to my place tonight
442
00:27:35,654 --> 00:27:38,352
and help me with my homework.
443
00:27:39,570 --> 00:27:44,488
And then afterwards, who
knows, maybe you'll get lucky.
444
00:27:47,796 --> 00:27:49,102
Yeah, uh, yeah.
445
00:27:49,189 --> 00:27:51,017
Uh, yeah, I got plans
but I can cancel.
446
00:27:56,805 --> 00:27:59,460
Oh.
447
00:27:59,808 --> 00:28:03,116
Um.
448
00:28:03,203 --> 00:28:14,127
Down boy.
449
00:28:14,214 --> 00:28:22,962
[music playing]
450
00:29:04,090 --> 00:29:04,917
[phone buzzing]
451
00:29:10,531 --> 00:29:21,498
[music playing]
452
00:29:35,077 --> 00:29:38,472
[water running]
453
00:29:40,474 --> 00:29:52,399
[music playing]
454
00:30:32,221 --> 00:30:33,179
Ow.
455
00:30:33,266 --> 00:30:34,049
Son of a bitch.
456
00:30:37,879 --> 00:30:47,019
[music playing]
457
00:31:01,816 --> 00:31:02,556
Who?
458
00:31:02,643 --> 00:31:08,040
[music playing]
459
00:31:08,562 --> 00:31:11,217
Its me, Simon.
460
00:31:11,782 --> 00:31:15,308
Lilly?
461
00:31:15,395 --> 00:31:15,917
No.
462
00:31:16,004 --> 00:31:17,049
How?
463
00:31:17,614 --> 00:31:19,703
You created me.
464
00:31:20,574 --> 00:31:24,230
You designed me
and now I'm here.
465
00:31:24,752 --> 00:31:26,928
No.
466
00:31:27,581 --> 00:31:29,061
No, this isn't real.
467
00:31:29,583 --> 00:31:30,845
I'm dreaming.
468
00:31:30,932 --> 00:31:32,673
You were dreaming
that this happened?
469
00:31:33,195 --> 00:31:41,638
[music playing]
470
00:31:42,509 --> 00:31:48,254
Yup, this is exactly
what happens.
471
00:31:48,950 --> 00:31:49,385
Oh, I'm sorry.
472
00:31:49,472 --> 00:31:49,995
Ow.
473
00:31:50,082 --> 00:31:50,996
So am I.
474
00:31:51,083 --> 00:31:53,563
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
475
00:31:54,086 --> 00:31:55,043
I'll clean it up.
476
00:31:55,130 --> 00:32:05,227
[music playing]
477
00:32:05,227 --> 00:32:11,930
[music playing]
478
00:32:17,936 --> 00:32:18,284
OK.
479
00:32:19,198 --> 00:32:21,026
I think I'm finished.
480
00:32:21,678 --> 00:32:23,071
Desiree, I'm finished.
481
00:32:26,988 --> 00:32:28,424
Did you do the
differentials part?
482
00:32:28,511 --> 00:32:29,730
Yes, I did.
483
00:32:29,817 --> 00:32:32,080
OK, because that's
what do tomorrow.
484
00:32:32,646 --> 00:32:37,303
Ah well, I did it.
485
00:32:37,390 --> 00:32:43,918
So--
486
00:32:44,005 --> 00:32:45,050
So what?
487
00:32:46,529 --> 00:32:48,444
Well, you know, I did
your homework for you
488
00:32:48,531 --> 00:32:50,142
and we had a
conversation earlier.
489
00:32:51,143 --> 00:32:53,101
It was a great
conversation, I loved it.
490
00:32:55,712 --> 00:32:57,714
You're are so cute.
491
00:32:58,846 --> 00:33:04,156
And you said something
about, uh, getting lucky.
492
00:33:07,594 --> 00:33:08,856
Oh.
493
00:33:09,726 --> 00:33:11,772
Well, don't you
have a girlfriend?
494
00:33:11,859 --> 00:33:15,210
Oh, well she, uh, she um,
we have an understanding.
495
00:33:15,994 --> 00:33:17,343
What kind of understanding?
496
00:33:17,430 --> 00:33:19,998
Well, uh, you know,
she's a college girl,
497
00:33:20,781 --> 00:33:23,175
and so she's super open minded.
498
00:33:26,265 --> 00:33:27,266
We can see other people.
499
00:33:27,353 --> 00:33:28,484
You know, it's not a big deal.
500
00:33:28,571 --> 00:33:29,703
No.
501
00:33:30,399 --> 00:33:31,966
No, I'm not OK with that.
502
00:33:32,053 --> 00:33:34,142
If you want anything to
happen here tonight with me,
503
00:33:34,882 --> 00:33:36,014
you have to end it with her.
504
00:33:36,362 --> 00:33:39,147
OK.
505
00:33:39,234 --> 00:33:40,061
Well?
506
00:33:40,148 --> 00:33:41,149
What?
507
00:33:41,236 --> 00:33:41,802
What you want me to do it now?
508
00:33:41,889 --> 00:33:42,324
Right now?
509
00:33:42,411 --> 00:33:43,282
Yes.
510
00:33:43,630 --> 00:33:45,110
Now.
511
00:33:45,197 --> 00:33:46,807
It's going to be a long
conversation, you know?
512
00:33:46,894 --> 00:33:49,984
And it's going to take a while.
513
00:33:54,336 --> 00:33:54,945
Now.
514
00:33:55,294 --> 00:33:56,121
Yeah.
515
00:33:56,208 --> 00:33:57,035
OK.
516
00:33:57,122 --> 00:33:57,731
I could do it now.
517
00:33:57,818 --> 00:34:00,821
That's fine.
518
00:34:00,908 --> 00:34:04,912
Oh, and I want all those
Facebook photos of you
519
00:34:05,347 --> 00:34:06,044
two gone.
520
00:34:06,131 --> 00:34:07,001
Uh, yeah.
521
00:34:07,088 --> 00:34:07,958
OK.
522
00:34:08,046 --> 00:34:08,872
I'll just untag myself.
523
00:34:08,959 --> 00:34:10,396
No, I want them gone.
524
00:34:10,918 --> 00:34:11,832
OK.
525
00:34:11,919 --> 00:34:13,007
I'll go do that right now.
526
00:34:13,094 --> 00:34:14,400
No.
527
00:34:15,096 --> 00:34:16,445
Do it here.
528
00:34:16,532 --> 00:34:18,012
I don't necessarily
think that's right.
529
00:34:18,969 --> 00:34:20,754
I mean, you know, they
mean a lot to her.
530
00:34:21,624 --> 00:34:23,148
I should let her
down easy, you know?
531
00:34:23,235 --> 00:34:26,238
OK.
532
00:34:26,325 --> 00:34:28,675
But just so you know,
you better do it quickly
533
00:34:29,763 --> 00:34:31,243
because I'm not going
to wait here all night.
534
00:34:31,721 --> 00:34:32,896
Yeah, yeah.
535
00:34:33,767 --> 00:34:36,944
Oh, I'm just going
to grab my shoes.
536
00:34:37,553 --> 00:34:40,687
I'll be right back.
537
00:34:41,253 --> 00:34:47,346
[water running]
538
00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:56,746
Simon, let me in, man.
539
00:34:57,138 --> 00:35:04,189
Simon!
540
00:35:04,276 --> 00:35:08,410
Hey, Simon, I know your mad,
man, but I need your laptop.
541
00:35:09,063 --> 00:35:11,283
[laughter]
542
00:35:11,805 --> 00:35:18,116
Simon, Simon.
543
00:35:18,203 --> 00:35:20,901
Simon, I got to borrow
your laptop, dude.
544
00:35:21,467 --> 00:35:23,121
Did you hear that?
545
00:35:23,469 --> 00:35:24,470
Nothing.
546
00:35:25,035 --> 00:35:26,950
OK.
547
00:35:27,821 --> 00:35:31,912
Yup, Desiree wants
to bone tonight
548
00:35:32,826 --> 00:35:34,436
and I got to be a
free man beforehand.
549
00:35:34,523 --> 00:35:35,350
What the?
550
00:35:35,437 --> 00:35:37,265
What is up with this?
551
00:35:38,092 --> 00:35:40,355
Why is the keyboard all sticky?
552
00:35:40,703 --> 00:35:41,661
Ew.
553
00:35:41,748 --> 00:35:43,358
You know how girls are, man.
554
00:35:43,445 --> 00:35:47,319
They always want to own
the pig, pun intended.
555
00:35:47,667 --> 00:35:55,109
OK.
556
00:35:55,196 --> 00:35:56,023
All right.
557
00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:01,855
I'm taking your laptop, dude.
558
00:36:09,079 --> 00:36:10,472
I'll leave a message.
559
00:36:15,912 --> 00:36:22,354
Dear Simon, borrowing
your laptop,
560
00:36:23,181 --> 00:36:25,226
bring back to school tomorrow.
561
00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:30,100
and kisses, Peg.
562
00:36:59,652 --> 00:37:00,392
[phone buzzing]
563
00:37:19,019 --> 00:37:25,112
[music playing]
564
00:37:25,591 --> 00:37:26,418
[phone buzzing]
565
00:37:28,594 --> 00:37:42,347
[music playing]
566
00:37:57,362 --> 00:37:59,973
You're so sexy when you wake up.
567
00:38:00,495 --> 00:38:01,975
It wasn't a dream.
568
00:38:05,935 --> 00:38:15,467
I'm so-- you were [inaudible].
569
00:38:15,902 --> 00:38:18,383
You were.
570
00:38:18,948 --> 00:38:27,130
[music playing]
571
00:38:27,479 --> 00:38:33,398
Mmmm.
572
00:38:33,485 --> 00:38:34,834
You're going to love it.
573
00:38:34,921 --> 00:38:46,672
[music playing]
574
00:38:54,854 --> 00:38:55,768
It's so good.
575
00:38:55,855 --> 00:38:56,682
It's so good.
576
00:38:59,859 --> 00:39:03,036
I think you've got this covered.
577
00:39:03,471 --> 00:39:04,690
[laughter]
578
00:39:05,865 --> 00:39:15,265
[music playing]
579
00:39:26,407 --> 00:39:28,235
[screaming]
580
00:39:29,845 --> 00:39:42,292
[music playing]
581
00:40:16,762 --> 00:40:17,589
All right.
582
00:40:28,774 --> 00:40:31,298
Ew.
583
00:40:31,777 --> 00:40:36,564
[music playing]
584
00:40:37,565 --> 00:40:40,481
You know, I never
thought that Red Vines
585
00:40:41,134 --> 00:40:42,048
would be so delicious.
586
00:40:42,135 --> 00:40:43,528
I know, right?
587
00:40:43,615 --> 00:40:46,792
They're so bad for you
but I don't even care.
588
00:40:54,495 --> 00:40:56,279
Did you just Disney movie me?
589
00:40:56,628 --> 00:40:57,759
Maybe.
590
00:40:58,673 --> 00:41:05,071
That's pretty cheesy, babe.
591
00:41:05,158 --> 00:41:07,595
[computer booting up]
592
00:41:12,382 --> 00:41:13,862
Oh.
593
00:41:13,949 --> 00:41:16,691
I guess it just needed
time to juice up, I guess.
594
00:41:23,002 --> 00:41:24,830
Hey Stacey.
595
00:41:25,657 --> 00:41:26,527
How are you doing?
596
00:41:30,662 --> 00:41:31,967
Can we talk for a minute?
597
00:41:32,054 --> 00:41:33,578
I need to tell you something.
598
00:41:34,492 --> 00:41:37,233
It's not going to
work between us.
599
00:41:37,669 --> 00:41:38,452
I know.
600
00:41:39,018 --> 00:41:39,932
It's not you, OK?
601
00:41:40,019 --> 00:41:42,587
It's me.
602
00:41:43,718 --> 00:41:47,635
Well, it's a little bit
you because on the account
603
00:41:48,288 --> 00:41:51,247
that you're not real.
604
00:41:51,857 --> 00:41:52,858
But, you know what?
605
00:41:54,468 --> 00:41:57,123
You did better than I ever
though you would for me.
606
00:41:57,558 --> 00:41:59,255
You know?
607
00:41:59,342 --> 00:42:00,779
You got me Desiree, and, you
know, you're a wonderful girl.
608
00:42:00,866 --> 00:42:03,869
And listen, you know, I'm
sure that one day you're
609
00:42:04,957 --> 00:42:06,567
going to go out
there, you're going
610
00:42:06,654 --> 00:42:10,528
to make some sad, lonely
computer nerd super happy.
611
00:42:11,137 --> 00:42:12,617
Not this guy, not me.
612
00:42:13,182 --> 00:42:22,148
[music playing]
613
00:43:17,638 --> 00:43:18,291
Damn.
614
00:43:19,640 --> 00:43:20,946
Simon is like Rain
man with this shit.
615
00:43:26,821 --> 00:43:27,692
What is this?
616
00:43:28,301 --> 00:43:29,737
Sex drive at 15%?
617
00:43:30,477 --> 00:43:31,826
Simon, you're such a pussy.
618
00:43:33,741 --> 00:43:35,700
She's going to need more
emotional than that,
619
00:43:35,787 --> 00:43:39,704
she's not a robot.
620
00:43:39,791 --> 00:43:41,488
Maybe a little strength
too, maybe she'll
621
00:43:42,184 --> 00:43:43,316
be beat Bash's ass for us.
622
00:43:48,669 --> 00:43:49,452
There we go.
623
00:43:49,539 --> 00:43:50,889
That's more like it.
624
00:43:54,936 --> 00:43:55,807
Updating.
625
00:43:55,894 --> 00:43:56,808
Updating.
626
00:43:57,243 --> 00:43:58,810
Updating.
627
00:43:59,288 --> 00:44:00,681
Updating.
628
00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:02,074
Updating.
629
00:44:02,161 --> 00:44:02,988
Updating.
630
00:44:03,075 --> 00:44:03,728
Updating.
631
00:44:04,163 --> 00:44:04,772
Updating.
632
00:44:04,859 --> 00:44:13,259
Updating.
633
00:44:13,346 --> 00:44:14,434
Take it off.
634
00:44:14,869 --> 00:44:15,435
Take it off.
635
00:44:15,522 --> 00:44:16,915
Lilly!
636
00:44:17,350 --> 00:44:18,177
Shut up!
637
00:44:18,264 --> 00:44:18,960
Take it off.
638
00:44:19,961 --> 00:44:21,180
Don't look me in the eye.
639
00:44:21,267 --> 00:44:34,367
[music playing]
640
00:44:35,498 --> 00:44:37,500
Your friend Peg broke up
with Stacey last night.
641
00:44:41,766 --> 00:44:42,375
Yeah?
642
00:44:43,419 --> 00:44:44,769
Desiree is pretty into him.
643
00:44:44,856 --> 00:44:46,640
So are you going
to do that with me?
644
00:44:46,727 --> 00:44:47,336
What?
645
00:44:47,728 --> 00:44:48,947
What?
646
00:44:49,034 --> 00:44:50,688
Break up with me
for some stupid slut
647
00:44:50,775 --> 00:44:52,472
as soon as she starts showing
a little interest in you.
648
00:44:52,559 --> 00:44:53,778
No, it's totally different.
649
00:44:54,779 --> 00:44:56,519
Stacey's just someone
that Peg made up.
650
00:44:57,390 --> 00:44:59,435
Desiree is a real
girl, so he must--
651
00:45:00,045 --> 00:45:02,700
Well, you made me up.
652
00:45:03,396 --> 00:45:04,658
Yeah, but you're real now.
653
00:45:07,705 --> 00:45:09,315
Stacey was just a Facebook page.
654
00:45:09,402 --> 00:45:13,885
Besides, Peg has had a crush
on Desiree for like ever.
655
00:45:14,233 --> 00:45:14,886
Wait.
656
00:45:16,409 --> 00:45:18,541
So if some little bitch
you've had a crush on
657
00:45:18,628 --> 00:45:20,239
starts showing a
little interest in you,
658
00:45:20,326 --> 00:45:21,980
you are just going
to leave me for her?
659
00:45:22,067 --> 00:45:23,068
Is that it?
660
00:45:23,155 --> 00:45:23,633
I don't know what's happening.
661
00:45:23,721 --> 00:45:24,547
OK.
662
00:45:24,634 --> 00:45:25,461
Why are you so upset?
663
00:45:25,810 --> 00:45:26,724
OK.
664
00:45:26,811 --> 00:45:28,508
Just take a deep breathe.
665
00:45:28,595 --> 00:45:30,336
"The Woman in Me," by
Rebecca [inaudible]
666
00:45:30,423 --> 00:45:32,381
says that when I am feeling
marginalized by my man,
667
00:45:32,468 --> 00:45:34,644
I just need to
take a deep breath
668
00:45:34,732 --> 00:45:37,735
and step back, and count
the ways in which I
669
00:45:38,300 --> 00:45:39,345
am a powerful woman.
670
00:45:39,432 --> 00:45:40,650
I won't let you steal my power.
671
00:45:40,738 --> 00:45:41,521
Baby, just--
672
00:45:41,608 --> 00:45:43,262
Don't use that word.
673
00:45:43,349 --> 00:45:45,046
That word is designed to
lower my feminine value.
674
00:45:45,743 --> 00:45:47,919
I apologize.
675
00:45:48,267 --> 00:45:49,529
OK.
676
00:45:50,138 --> 00:45:53,489
I don't want to fight.
677
00:45:54,012 --> 00:45:55,013
Do you love me?
678
00:45:55,100 --> 00:45:56,492
So much.
679
00:45:56,579 --> 00:45:58,756
And you promise you
will never ever leave me
680
00:45:59,365 --> 00:46:00,583
for some stupid slut?
681
00:46:01,149 --> 00:46:04,065
No, no, no, no, mam.
682
00:46:04,979 --> 00:46:06,459
Can you stay with me today?
683
00:46:06,546 --> 00:46:07,982
It's just too early
for you to leave me.
684
00:46:08,504 --> 00:46:10,071
I have to go.
685
00:46:10,158 --> 00:46:13,118
If I miss more than one
class, they call my parents.
686
00:46:13,858 --> 00:46:15,642
Oh, I've got it.
687
00:46:21,779 --> 00:46:23,171
Mrs. Dops?
688
00:46:23,258 --> 00:46:24,956
Simon has a fever today
and we wouldn't want
689
00:46:25,043 --> 00:46:27,132
him giving it to anyone else.
690
00:46:27,959 --> 00:46:29,003
Thank you so much.
691
00:46:29,525 --> 00:46:30,570
I'll tell him.
692
00:46:30,657 --> 00:46:32,398
OK.
693
00:46:32,790 --> 00:46:33,486
Done.
694
00:46:34,835 --> 00:46:36,619
Now, let's have a
little fun and then
695
00:46:37,490 --> 00:46:38,883
I can fill your
tummy with pancakes.
696
00:46:39,318 --> 00:46:39,971
Oh my God.
697
00:46:40,972 --> 00:46:46,586
You're the perfect woman.
698
00:46:46,673 --> 00:46:48,414
So she was like,
"That's my purse,"
699
00:46:48,501 --> 00:46:50,155
like she owned it
already, but I mean,
700
00:46:50,242 --> 00:46:51,460
we were both in the same store.
701
00:46:51,547 --> 00:46:53,288
And if she wanted
it that badly, she
702
00:46:53,375 --> 00:46:54,637
wouldn't have left
it outside when
703
00:46:54,724 --> 00:46:55,987
she was in the dressing room.
704
00:46:56,074 --> 00:46:57,597
OMG, what did you do?
705
00:46:57,684 --> 00:46:59,425
Bitch tried to call
security on me,
706
00:46:59,512 --> 00:47:01,209
so I just took
out my credit card
707
00:47:01,296 --> 00:47:03,603
and I paid for it, staring her
down the whole time smiling.
708
00:47:04,430 --> 00:47:05,866
I mean, what was
she going to do?
709
00:47:05,953 --> 00:47:13,656
[laughter]
710
00:47:21,099 --> 00:47:21,926
What?
711
00:47:22,013 --> 00:47:23,449
You made your point.
712
00:47:23,536 --> 00:47:25,146
Listen, I'm not here to
apologize or anything,
713
00:47:25,233 --> 00:47:27,061
and I'm not saying anything
is going on with Sydney,
714
00:47:27,627 --> 00:47:28,933
but if it were--
715
00:47:29,020 --> 00:47:30,325
and last night it
was, it would be over.
716
00:47:30,412 --> 00:47:31,587
Like I care.
717
00:47:31,674 --> 00:47:32,719
I already got that
bitch thrown off
718
00:47:32,806 --> 00:47:34,547
the cheer leading squad anyway.
719
00:47:34,634 --> 00:47:37,855
And what about that slut who
said she was going to blow you?
720
00:47:40,945 --> 00:47:42,860
Listen Bash, the girl obviously
doesn't want to talk to you.
721
00:47:43,556 --> 00:47:44,949
So why don't you just--
722
00:47:45,036 --> 00:47:45,471
Shut up.
723
00:47:45,558 --> 00:47:46,776
OK.
724
00:47:48,561 --> 00:47:51,738
Baby, I'm done with the whole
blow job receiving business.
725
00:47:52,130 --> 00:47:57,962
Totally.
726
00:47:58,049 --> 00:47:59,528
OK.
727
00:48:00,051 --> 00:48:01,095
You're dismissed.
728
00:48:01,443 --> 00:48:02,053
Huh?
729
00:48:02,618 --> 00:48:03,489
We're done here.
730
00:48:03,576 --> 00:48:06,535
You can go now.
731
00:48:06,927 --> 00:48:09,060
Go away.
732
00:48:13,629 --> 00:48:14,500
Is that Simon's?
733
00:48:14,587 --> 00:48:15,631
Uh, yeah.
734
00:48:15,718 --> 00:48:16,371
I'm supposed to give it to him.
735
00:48:16,458 --> 00:48:19,984
Go.
736
00:48:20,071 --> 00:48:24,292
So cute.
737
00:48:24,379 --> 00:48:25,903
Bash, baby, what
have you been up to?
738
00:48:26,425 --> 00:48:36,739
[music playing]
739
00:49:00,372 --> 00:49:02,200
Have balls, Peg.
740
00:49:02,765 --> 00:49:10,121
[music playing]
741
00:49:10,643 --> 00:49:11,687
Mmm, pancakes.
742
00:49:17,258 --> 00:49:18,259
Baby?
743
00:49:18,999 --> 00:49:20,522
Lilly, sorry.
744
00:49:20,609 --> 00:49:26,137
Lilly the door is locked
from the outside, I guess.
745
00:49:48,333 --> 00:49:58,082
[music playing]
746
00:49:58,691 --> 00:49:59,953
The door was locked.
747
00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:01,520
I would have gone
down and helped you.
748
00:50:01,607 --> 00:50:04,131
I know, I locked it.
749
00:50:04,523 --> 00:50:05,176
What?
750
00:50:06,090 --> 00:50:07,265
Why would you do that?
751
00:50:07,352 --> 00:50:09,789
It's just better this way.
752
00:50:10,268 --> 00:50:10,920
What's better?
753
00:50:11,008 --> 00:50:12,574
What way?
754
00:50:12,661 --> 00:50:14,968
Did you know that 99.7%
of all relationships
755
00:50:15,708 --> 00:50:17,536
starting in high school end?
756
00:50:17,623 --> 00:50:19,364
I can't have you
leaving with the odds
757
00:50:19,451 --> 00:50:20,930
overwhelmingly against us.
758
00:50:21,018 --> 00:50:23,629
I just want us to stay
together, sweetie.
759
00:50:26,197 --> 00:50:29,026
So, you just want to keep
me locked up in my house?
760
00:50:29,591 --> 00:50:31,158
In your room, yes.
761
00:50:31,245 --> 00:50:34,292
When you say it like that
you make it sound so bad.
762
00:50:34,640 --> 00:50:35,989
OK.
763
00:50:36,076 --> 00:50:38,905
Sweetheart, I know
this is all new to you,
764
00:50:39,949 --> 00:50:41,864
but I have to be able
to eat and drink and--
765
00:50:42,648 --> 00:50:45,346
I'll get you whatever you need.
766
00:50:46,217 --> 00:50:48,393
Honey, this is just silly.
767
00:50:49,481 --> 00:50:50,960
You're just looking
for an excuse
768
00:50:51,048 --> 00:50:53,311
to leave me like your
pervy little friend, Peg.
769
00:50:58,098 --> 00:51:00,666
Now, Lilly, this is not
acceptable behavior.
770
00:51:01,449 --> 00:51:03,147
Don't talk down to me like that.
771
00:51:03,234 --> 00:51:05,497
In "Taking My Power Back,
by Beatrice Lesband,
772
00:51:05,584 --> 00:51:07,107
she says that men
are free to roam
773
00:51:08,065 --> 00:51:09,544
wherever they please
while woman are
774
00:51:09,631 --> 00:51:11,416
expected to just stay at home.
775
00:51:11,503 --> 00:51:14,375
Oh, we're not roaming anywhere,
Mr. You're staying right here.
776
00:51:15,115 --> 00:51:16,551
Deep breathes.
777
00:51:16,638 --> 00:51:18,423
Count the ways in which
I am a powerful woman.
778
00:51:19,815 --> 00:51:21,991
Now, eat your pancakes, and
I'm going to go clean up
779
00:51:22,731 --> 00:51:23,819
after making your breakfast.
780
00:51:23,906 --> 00:51:25,343
I need to cool down.
781
00:51:25,908 --> 00:51:26,866
[door slamming]
782
00:51:30,348 --> 00:51:31,653
I'm so sorry.
783
00:51:31,740 --> 00:51:34,439
I just-- I'm just so
afraid without you.
784
00:51:35,266 --> 00:51:39,052
I don't know what I did.
785
00:51:39,139 --> 00:51:40,009
Baby, here.
786
00:51:40,619 --> 00:51:41,489
I'll clean this up.
787
00:51:41,576 --> 00:51:42,447
There's that word again.
788
00:51:43,404 --> 00:51:46,973
You don't respect me, do you?
789
00:51:47,539 --> 00:51:50,803
Baby, baby, baby.
790
00:51:51,543 --> 00:51:53,327
Who else are you calling baby?
791
00:51:56,461 --> 00:51:57,331
No one.
792
00:51:57,418 --> 00:51:58,332
Only you.
793
00:51:58,419 --> 00:51:59,333
I promise.
794
00:51:59,420 --> 00:52:01,727
I'll never say it again.
795
00:52:02,293 --> 00:52:03,163
Oh, I'll show you.
796
00:52:03,729 --> 00:52:05,122
[door slamming]
797
00:52:06,688 --> 00:52:16,437
[music playing]
798
00:52:41,854 --> 00:52:43,334
You're so strong.
799
00:52:44,117 --> 00:52:45,379
Where did you get handcuffs?
800
00:52:45,466 --> 00:52:46,206
Amazon.
801
00:52:46,293 --> 00:52:47,773
I got them for us.
802
00:52:47,860 --> 00:52:49,209
I thought it would add
excitement in the bedroom.
803
00:52:49,818 --> 00:52:51,037
Aw, that's sweet.
804
00:52:51,342 --> 00:52:56,651
Right?
805
00:52:56,738 --> 00:52:57,913
There.
806
00:52:58,000 --> 00:52:59,611
Now, you stay here
and rest and I'm
807
00:52:59,698 --> 00:53:02,179
going to go downstairs and
clean up the mess you made.
808
00:53:16,715 --> 00:53:28,466
[music playing]
809
00:53:35,255 --> 00:53:38,954
Come on.
810
00:53:39,041 --> 00:53:40,042
[phone buzzing]
811
00:53:43,394 --> 00:53:46,005
Simon, dude, I don't think
I've ever made a phone
812
00:53:46,701 --> 00:53:47,702
call on this phone before.
813
00:53:47,789 --> 00:53:49,051
That's how important this is.
814
00:53:49,138 --> 00:53:50,531
Please answer your phone.
815
00:53:50,618 --> 00:53:51,445
Dude, come on.
816
00:53:51,967 --> 00:53:52,577
You know what?
817
00:53:52,664 --> 00:53:53,708
Fuck it.
818
00:53:53,795 --> 00:53:54,492
I'm coming over right now, dude.
819
00:53:54,579 --> 00:54:03,109
[music playing]
820
00:54:32,181 --> 00:54:32,878
No way.
821
00:54:32,965 --> 00:54:41,974
[music playing]
822
00:54:43,889 --> 00:54:44,890
What are you doing?
823
00:54:44,977 --> 00:54:46,370
Don't worry about it.
824
00:54:46,457 --> 00:54:47,806
Just take off your shirt
and get on the bed.
825
00:54:47,893 --> 00:54:49,590
I'm about to get
super cranked up.
826
00:54:50,156 --> 00:54:51,331
No.
827
00:54:51,418 --> 00:54:52,637
No way, we need to
talk about this.
828
00:54:52,724 --> 00:54:54,552
I'm not OK with what happened.
829
00:55:01,080 --> 00:55:03,996
Who is that girl?
830
00:55:04,649 --> 00:55:07,086
We're about to find out.
831
00:55:07,478 --> 00:55:08,305
Oh, Jesus.
832
00:55:14,485 --> 00:55:15,050
Oh.
833
00:55:16,182 --> 00:55:17,662
Oh my God, I'm so out of shape.
834
00:55:21,230 --> 00:55:25,322
God, this is the only time I'll
thank you for a small hand.
835
00:55:25,844 --> 00:55:35,941
[music playing]
836
00:55:35,941 --> 00:55:42,208
[music playing]
837
00:55:54,525 --> 00:55:57,310
Look, will you stop
playing around on Facebook
838
00:55:57,876 --> 00:56:00,139
and come talk to me?
839
00:56:00,705 --> 00:56:02,533
Babe, I'm at work.
840
00:56:03,272 --> 00:56:04,665
Oh my God, don't babe me.
841
00:56:04,752 --> 00:56:05,623
Get over here.
842
00:56:06,145 --> 00:56:07,842
Me too, babe.
843
00:56:07,929 --> 00:56:12,369
You're such a ass,
douche bag, whole ass.
844
00:56:13,457 --> 00:56:15,415
You know, I'm not coming
to your party tonight.
845
00:56:19,201 --> 00:56:23,292
And, I was going
to make cupcakes.
846
00:56:24,076 --> 00:56:32,040
Desiree, what kind of cupcakes?
847
00:56:32,519 --> 00:56:33,999
Strawberry.
848
00:56:34,608 --> 00:56:36,088
Those are my favorite.
849
00:56:36,741 --> 00:56:41,049
Well, I know that's silly.
850
00:56:41,136 --> 00:56:43,095
Simon, was that you?
851
00:56:47,360 --> 00:56:49,014
You crafty little devil.
852
00:56:49,841 --> 00:56:52,626
How did you slip
those handcuffs?
853
00:56:53,018 --> 00:56:55,237
Simon?
854
00:56:55,586 --> 00:56:57,762
Simon?
855
00:56:58,589 --> 00:56:59,503
Oh, you poor thing.
856
00:56:59,590 --> 00:57:00,591
You're hurt.
857
00:57:00,939 --> 00:57:02,593
Woah.
858
00:57:02,941 --> 00:57:04,116
No!
859
00:57:04,595 --> 00:57:13,430
[struggling]
860
00:57:13,908 --> 00:57:14,735
Oh my God.
861
00:57:22,439 --> 00:57:23,831
I'm just going to
walk from here.
862
00:57:23,918 --> 00:57:26,225
What's the worst
that could happen?
863
00:57:29,620 --> 00:57:31,622
Oh my God.
864
00:57:32,100 --> 00:57:33,450
Oh fuck me.
865
00:57:33,798 --> 00:57:38,629
Oh.
866
00:57:38,716 --> 00:57:42,589
OK.
867
00:57:42,676 --> 00:57:44,069
[door knocking]
868
00:57:45,026 --> 00:57:47,202
Oh God.
869
00:57:47,594 --> 00:57:48,813
Simon?
870
00:57:49,553 --> 00:57:51,380
Let me in, man.
871
00:57:51,816 --> 00:57:52,686
Who is it?
872
00:57:53,339 --> 00:57:55,167
Simon, let me in, man.
873
00:57:55,254 --> 00:57:57,386
Now's not a really
good time, man.
874
00:57:58,300 --> 00:57:59,824
Simon, just let me
talk for a minute
875
00:57:59,911 --> 00:58:02,783
and I can explain everything.
876
00:58:03,610 --> 00:58:04,829
Look I'm sorry, man.
877
00:58:06,004 --> 00:58:10,661
I got caught up being
popular and having
878
00:58:11,313 --> 00:58:13,751
Desiree be so into me.
879
00:58:14,186 --> 00:58:15,448
You know?
880
00:58:15,535 --> 00:58:18,103
She was really into
me, but you what?
881
00:58:19,278 --> 00:58:22,586
I decided to leave that
and come here for you, man.
882
00:58:25,545 --> 00:58:27,678
Simon?
883
00:58:28,069 --> 00:58:29,854
Simon?
884
00:58:30,463 --> 00:58:31,812
Simon?
885
00:58:32,378 --> 00:58:37,905
Damn.
886
00:58:37,992 --> 00:58:39,385
You see right through
me, don't you?
887
00:58:39,951 --> 00:58:42,693
Best buds always do.
888
00:58:43,694 --> 00:58:47,828
She dumped me, man
like month old cheese.
889
00:58:51,266 --> 00:58:53,442
Like I wasn't even
a real person.
890
00:58:53,530 --> 00:58:57,490
Liked all those hot, steamy,
passion-filled nights.
891
00:59:00,580 --> 00:59:02,103
It's like they meant
nothing to her,
892
00:59:02,190 --> 00:59:12,636
like it didn't even happen.
893
00:59:12,723 --> 00:59:15,334
All right, full disclosure,
that thing I just said,
894
00:59:15,813 --> 00:59:17,162
it was a lie.
895
00:59:17,249 --> 00:59:18,685
The thing about the
passion-filled nights
896
00:59:18,772 --> 00:59:20,252
never happened.
897
00:59:20,339 --> 00:59:21,906
But you're going to bet
your ass that I'm going
898
00:59:21,993 --> 00:59:23,429
to tell everyone that it did.
899
00:59:23,516 --> 00:59:25,300
I don't care what
Bash does to me.
900
00:59:29,087 --> 00:59:30,262
OK.
901
00:59:30,349 --> 00:59:31,655
That thing I just
said was a lie.
902
00:59:31,742 --> 00:59:32,917
I absolutely care
what Bash does to me.
903
00:59:33,831 --> 00:59:35,920
I'm sorry I bailed on you.
904
00:59:36,921 --> 00:59:38,183
When you needed me most I just--
905
00:59:38,270 --> 00:59:40,446
oh shit.
906
00:59:40,838 --> 00:59:42,579
Oh shit.
907
00:59:43,231 --> 00:59:44,929
I'm coming little buddy.
908
00:59:51,588 --> 00:59:57,768
Damnit.
909
00:59:57,855 --> 00:59:59,770
Oh shit.
910
01:00:00,161 --> 01:00:01,206
Simon.
911
01:00:01,293 --> 01:00:02,033
Who the hell is that?
912
01:00:02,120 --> 01:00:03,251
It's Lilly.
913
01:00:03,774 --> 01:00:04,601
No, seriously.
914
01:00:04,688 --> 01:00:05,732
Who is it?
915
01:00:05,819 --> 01:00:08,387
Oh damn, it's a hooker isn't it?
916
01:00:08,996 --> 01:00:10,345
Mam, we're minors, OK?
917
01:00:11,172 --> 01:00:13,087
So, whatever money
he owes you we
918
01:00:13,174 --> 01:00:14,611
could probably pay
it back, just--
919
01:00:15,089 --> 01:00:15,873
God damn.
920
01:00:15,960 --> 01:00:16,830
Hookers are strong.
921
01:00:16,917 --> 01:00:17,831
Shut up you little perv.
922
01:00:18,484 --> 01:00:19,877
It's Lilly for real.
923
01:00:19,964 --> 01:00:21,792
Now stop pulling on me.
924
01:00:22,270 --> 01:00:27,711
Oh my god.
925
01:00:27,798 --> 01:00:30,714
What the hell?
926
01:00:31,192 --> 01:00:32,324
Don't leave.
927
01:00:32,803 --> 01:00:34,413
Hey, help.
928
01:00:34,805 --> 01:00:35,283
Help.
929
01:00:35,370 --> 01:00:35,806
Help.
930
01:00:35,893 --> 01:00:43,596
Hey.
931
01:00:43,683 --> 01:00:44,597
Updating.
932
01:00:44,684 --> 01:00:45,598
Updating.
933
01:00:45,685 --> 01:00:46,599
Updating.
934
01:00:46,686 --> 01:00:47,600
Updating.
935
01:00:47,687 --> 01:00:48,601
Updating.
936
01:00:48,688 --> 01:01:00,352
Updating.
937
01:01:00,439 --> 01:01:05,009
Look at this shit,
emotions 21%, strength 80%,
938
01:01:05,966 --> 01:01:07,228
what the hell does this mean?
939
01:01:07,315 --> 01:01:08,577
Baby, what are you doing?
940
01:01:08,665 --> 01:01:10,449
People are downstairs
waiting for us.
941
01:01:10,841 --> 01:01:12,277
Nag much?
942
01:01:12,364 --> 01:01:14,888
Just go downstairs, I'll
be there in a second.
943
01:01:15,584 --> 01:01:18,544
Oh shit, sex drive 91%.
944
01:01:19,284 --> 01:01:21,025
Simon, you dirty little vag.
945
01:01:22,026 --> 01:01:24,202
Why do you keep using that word?
946
01:01:24,289 --> 01:01:25,812
I don't think it means
what you think it means.
947
01:01:26,508 --> 01:01:27,771
Quit breaking my balls.
948
01:01:27,858 --> 01:01:29,381
Just go downstairs.
949
01:01:32,863 --> 01:01:33,820
Ass hole.
950
01:01:34,386 --> 01:01:36,388
Love you, baby.
951
01:01:36,823 --> 01:01:37,389
Updating.
952
01:01:37,476 --> 01:01:38,042
Updating.
953
01:01:38,129 --> 01:01:38,999
Updating.
954
01:01:39,086 --> 01:01:39,783
Updating.
955
01:01:39,870 --> 01:01:40,784
Updating.
956
01:01:40,871 --> 01:01:41,610
Updating.
957
01:01:41,698 --> 01:01:42,437
Updating.
958
01:01:42,524 --> 01:01:44,744
Updating Updating.
959
01:01:45,266 --> 01:01:46,267
WT fuck, man.
960
01:01:46,354 --> 01:01:46,964
Updating.
961
01:01:47,051 --> 01:01:48,095
Updating.
962
01:01:48,182 --> 01:01:49,140
How is she real or or whatever?
963
01:01:49,227 --> 01:01:50,358
I can't even begin to explain.
964
01:01:50,445 --> 01:01:51,925
One minute she
was an iPhone app,
965
01:01:52,012 --> 01:01:53,318
and the next she was right
there in front of me.
966
01:01:53,405 --> 01:01:53,971
Updating.
967
01:01:54,058 --> 01:01:55,450
Oh my God.
968
01:01:55,537 --> 01:01:56,103
This is crazy, this is
crazy, this is crazy.
969
01:01:56,190 --> 01:01:56,713
Updating.
970
01:01:56,800 --> 01:01:57,365
Updating.
971
01:01:57,452 --> 01:01:58,236
Updating.
972
01:01:58,323 --> 01:01:59,237
Updating.
973
01:01:59,324 --> 01:02:00,455
Let's get out of here.
974
01:02:00,891 --> 01:02:04,851
Come on.
975
01:02:04,938 --> 01:02:06,026
What do we do?
976
01:02:06,113 --> 01:02:07,636
We've got to get out of here.
977
01:02:08,159 --> 01:02:09,334
Where do we go?
978
01:02:09,987 --> 01:02:11,075
I have to get my laptop.
979
01:02:11,684 --> 01:02:13,381
Yeah.
980
01:02:13,468 --> 01:02:18,560
Here's the thing about your
laptop, Bash kind of stole it.
981
01:02:19,344 --> 01:02:21,825
You have got to be shitting me.
982
01:02:22,521 --> 01:02:23,827
We got to go to Bash's?
983
01:02:23,914 --> 01:02:24,349
Oh fuck that.
984
01:02:24,436 --> 01:02:25,698
No.
985
01:02:25,785 --> 01:02:27,700
Let's go to my house,
let's hide out.
986
01:02:28,005 --> 01:02:29,484
No.
987
01:02:30,181 --> 01:02:31,835
We've got to go to Bash's.
988
01:02:31,922 --> 01:02:40,365
I've screwed all of this up
and now I've got to fix it.
989
01:02:40,844 --> 01:02:42,106
[screaming]
990
01:02:42,889 --> 01:02:53,030
[music playing]
991
01:03:23,974 --> 01:03:26,019
Ladies and gentleman, this
evening's entertainment.
992
01:03:27,368 --> 01:03:31,633
So we all know our little friend
Simon and his new girlfriend,
993
01:03:32,939 --> 01:03:36,856
but what you all don't know is
that he created this chick out
994
01:03:37,335 --> 01:03:38,553
of thin air.
995
01:03:38,640 --> 01:03:40,773
All these photos,
are Photo Shopped.
996
01:03:41,992 --> 01:03:44,037
Let me show you some pictures
that weren't Photo Shopped.
997
01:03:44,603 --> 01:03:53,568
[music playing]
998
01:03:56,136 --> 01:04:02,621
[laughter]
999
01:04:03,143 --> 01:04:17,027
[music playing]
1000
01:04:17,505 --> 01:04:18,419
Updating.
1001
01:04:18,506 --> 01:04:19,420
Updating.
1002
01:04:19,507 --> 01:04:20,421
Simon.
1003
01:04:20,508 --> 01:04:22,032
Simon, don't leave me.
1004
01:04:22,510 --> 01:04:24,034
Updating.
1005
01:04:24,512 --> 01:04:25,426
Updating.
1006
01:04:25,513 --> 01:04:26,384
Updating.
1007
01:04:26,471 --> 01:04:27,385
Updating.
1008
01:04:27,472 --> 01:04:28,081
Updating.
1009
01:04:28,168 --> 01:04:29,082
Updating.
1010
01:04:29,561 --> 01:04:30,127
Updating.
1011
01:04:30,214 --> 01:04:30,997
Updating.
1012
01:04:31,084 --> 01:04:31,824
OK.
1013
01:04:31,911 --> 01:04:32,346
OK.
1014
01:04:32,433 --> 01:04:33,173
OK.
1015
01:04:33,260 --> 01:04:33,782
I'm freaking out.
1016
01:04:33,870 --> 01:04:34,435
I'm done.
1017
01:04:34,522 --> 01:04:35,349
I'm done.
1018
01:04:35,436 --> 01:04:36,089
Why is she so psycho?
1019
01:04:36,176 --> 01:04:37,612
I don't know.
1020
01:04:37,699 --> 01:04:41,051
Everything has been
great, like really great.
1021
01:04:42,052 --> 01:04:45,055
All day yesterday was
awesome, you know?
1022
01:04:45,882 --> 01:04:47,709
Wait, did you bang that thing?
1023
01:04:48,449 --> 01:04:50,887
It's not a thing, it's a girl.
1024
01:04:51,452 --> 01:04:54,629
And yes, like a lot.
1025
01:04:55,065 --> 01:04:55,892
Nice, man.
1026
01:05:00,461 --> 01:05:09,253
[music playing]
1027
01:05:27,967 --> 01:05:33,277
What?
1028
01:05:33,364 --> 01:05:40,806
[music playing]
1029
01:05:56,996 --> 01:05:58,171
Oh, OK.
1030
01:05:58,955 --> 01:06:00,130
What are we supposed to do?
1031
01:06:00,217 --> 01:06:01,609
Kill her?
1032
01:06:01,958 --> 01:06:02,959
No.
1033
01:06:03,307 --> 01:06:04,221
No, man.
1034
01:06:04,308 --> 01:06:06,049
I'm going to fix her.
1035
01:06:06,701 --> 01:06:07,964
I just need my laptop.
1036
01:06:08,312 --> 01:06:09,269
Geez.
1037
01:06:09,922 --> 01:06:10,836
Updating.
1038
01:06:10,923 --> 01:06:11,837
Updating.
1039
01:06:12,272 --> 01:06:13,795
[beeping]
1040
01:06:14,318 --> 01:06:23,066
[music playing]
1041
01:06:35,252 --> 01:06:36,079
God damnit, not again.
1042
01:06:36,166 --> 01:06:37,080
Updating.
1043
01:06:37,167 --> 01:06:47,090
Updating.
1044
01:06:47,177 --> 01:06:52,225
[laughter]
1045
01:06:52,965 --> 01:06:55,011
Why is everyone laughing?
1046
01:06:58,536 --> 01:07:00,016
Maybe because of that.
1047
01:07:06,544 --> 01:07:07,371
That's it.
1048
01:07:14,900 --> 01:07:16,728
I thought that would
be more dramatic.
1049
01:07:17,120 --> 01:07:17,685
Yeah.
1050
01:07:17,772 --> 01:07:18,730
Updating.
1051
01:07:19,209 --> 01:07:19,905
Updating.
1052
01:07:20,340 --> 01:07:26,042
Updating.
1053
01:07:26,129 --> 01:07:30,350
Bash?
1054
01:07:30,437 --> 01:07:35,703
Bash?
1055
01:07:35,790 --> 01:07:38,097
Well well, If it isn't
Casanova himself.
1056
01:07:38,706 --> 01:07:39,968
Give me my laptop.
1057
01:07:40,752 --> 01:07:42,101
Yeah, give him his laptop, dude.
1058
01:07:42,188 --> 01:07:44,408
What are you going to
do if I don't, Vag?
1059
01:07:45,278 --> 01:07:46,497
Man, you don't understand.
1060
01:07:46,584 --> 01:07:48,238
I need that laptop.
1061
01:07:48,803 --> 01:07:51,328
Well, come get it.
1062
01:07:51,806 --> 01:07:54,200
[screaming]
1063
01:07:56,028 --> 01:07:56,985
Fuck it.
1064
01:07:57,073 --> 01:07:59,205
We don't have time for this.
1065
01:08:04,341 --> 01:08:05,081
Simon?
1066
01:08:06,517 --> 01:08:08,736
I'm not mad, sweetie,
I just want to talk.
1067
01:08:09,302 --> 01:08:10,782
Hey baby, what's up?
1068
01:08:17,267 --> 01:08:20,661
You.
1069
01:08:20,748 --> 01:08:22,489
What do you want, bitch?
1070
01:08:22,576 --> 01:08:25,144
You're the tramp that wrecked
my best friend's relationship.
1071
01:08:25,710 --> 01:08:26,711
Whatever, slut.
1072
01:08:29,670 --> 01:08:30,715
Aw, cat fight.
1073
01:08:49,255 --> 01:08:50,256
Oh, oh, oh!
1074
01:08:50,604 --> 01:08:52,824
Oh!
1075
01:08:53,259 --> 01:09:06,359
Oh Peg.
1076
01:09:06,446 --> 01:09:09,145
I told I'd go balls deep
in your girlfriend tonight.
1077
01:09:14,585 --> 01:09:15,238
Updating.
1078
01:09:15,325 --> 01:09:16,239
Updating.
1079
01:09:16,326 --> 01:09:17,153
Updating.
1080
01:09:17,588 --> 01:09:18,284
Updating.
1081
01:09:18,371 --> 01:09:18,937
No fucking way.
1082
01:09:19,024 --> 01:09:19,764
Updating.
1083
01:09:19,851 --> 01:09:20,417
Updating.
1084
01:09:20,504 --> 01:09:21,157
Peg.
1085
01:09:21,244 --> 01:09:21,896
Updating.
1086
01:09:22,332 --> 01:09:24,072
Oh, Peg.
1087
01:09:24,856 --> 01:09:28,816
That was so-- that was so sweet.
1088
01:09:29,556 --> 01:09:31,384
I can't believe you did that.
1089
01:09:31,819 --> 01:09:32,646
Desiree?
1090
01:09:32,733 --> 01:09:35,040
Is that you?
1091
01:09:35,519 --> 01:09:36,389
It's so dark.
1092
01:09:36,911 --> 01:09:38,086
It's so cold.
1093
01:09:38,174 --> 01:09:39,262
Let me try to get
the bottle out.
1094
01:09:39,349 --> 01:09:40,088
Oh God, no.
1095
01:09:40,176 --> 01:09:40,828
No, that's tender.
1096
01:09:40,915 --> 01:09:41,786
That's tender.
1097
01:09:41,873 --> 01:09:43,483
It's just your shoulder.
1098
01:09:43,570 --> 01:09:44,789
I'm pretty sure if you clean
up the wound it'll be OK.
1099
01:09:44,876 --> 01:09:46,617
Oh, I didn't know
you were a doctor.
1100
01:09:46,704 --> 01:09:48,184
Go away please.
1101
01:09:48,967 --> 01:09:50,360
Desiree, don't listen to her.
1102
01:09:50,882 --> 01:09:52,231
She's crazy.
1103
01:09:52,318 --> 01:09:53,406
She's not a doctor.
1104
01:10:03,938 --> 01:10:05,070
Give me my laptop.
1105
01:10:05,157 --> 01:10:06,506
Updating.
1106
01:10:07,159 --> 01:10:07,725
Updating.
1107
01:10:07,812 --> 01:10:08,856
Updating.
1108
01:10:09,292 --> 01:10:10,075
Updating.
1109
01:10:10,684 --> 01:10:12,120
I don't need it anyway.
1110
01:10:12,208 --> 01:10:13,513
Updating.
1111
01:10:14,166 --> 01:10:15,080
Updating.
1112
01:10:15,167 --> 01:10:15,820
Bash, what have you done?
1113
01:10:15,907 --> 01:10:16,951
Updating.
1114
01:10:17,038 --> 01:10:18,866
You're so much hotter in person.
1115
01:10:18,953 --> 01:10:20,912
This is why she's
been acting so crazy.
1116
01:10:22,087 --> 01:10:27,310
Her strength, her emotion,
her sex drive, seriously?
1117
01:10:28,093 --> 01:10:29,312
These are all way too high.
1118
01:10:29,399 --> 01:10:30,182
Updating.
1119
01:10:30,574 --> 01:10:31,966
Updating.
1120
01:10:32,053 --> 01:10:34,142
Oh shit, you changed
her relationship status?
1121
01:10:34,230 --> 01:10:37,537
It's just one more thing you're
going to lose to me, Vag.
1122
01:10:38,451 --> 01:10:39,800
Bash, you don't understand.
1123
01:10:39,887 --> 01:10:41,889
If she's in a
relationship with you--
1124
01:10:48,200 --> 01:10:50,594
Oh, you are intense, baby.
1125
01:10:51,421 --> 01:10:54,250
Don't use that word.
1126
01:10:54,902 --> 01:10:56,252
I'm so sorry, baby.
1127
01:10:56,904 --> 01:10:58,036
I was just kidding.
1128
01:10:58,123 --> 01:10:59,080
I didn't mean it.
1129
01:10:59,167 --> 01:10:59,951
Simon, this bitch is crazy.
1130
01:11:00,038 --> 01:11:01,866
I just want to talk.
1131
01:11:02,432 --> 01:11:03,346
Where are you going?
1132
01:11:03,433 --> 01:11:04,303
What are you doing?
1133
01:11:04,869 --> 01:11:14,618
[music playing]
1134
01:11:20,406 --> 01:11:22,190
[crashing]
1135
01:11:32,810 --> 01:11:33,985
Oh shit.
1136
01:11:35,595 --> 01:11:39,469
Well, I did not see this
evening taking this turn.
1137
01:11:39,991 --> 01:11:42,341
What do we do?
1138
01:11:42,950 --> 01:11:43,690
Do we call 9-1-1?
1139
01:11:43,777 --> 01:11:44,430
No.
1140
01:11:44,517 --> 01:11:45,475
Hell no.
1141
01:11:45,562 --> 01:11:46,911
We're not going to do that.
1142
01:11:46,998 --> 01:11:47,999
We're going to do what
teenagers always do
1143
01:11:48,086 --> 01:11:50,044
in a situation like this, run.
1144
01:11:50,480 --> 01:11:53,352
[screaming]
1145
01:11:53,918 --> 01:11:58,357
[music playing]
1146
01:11:58,923 --> 01:12:01,491
That's my house.
1147
01:12:02,274 --> 01:12:03,754
So, what happened back there?
1148
01:12:03,841 --> 01:12:05,016
Who is that lady?
1149
01:12:05,843 --> 01:12:08,324
Honestly, it's a
long, long story.
1150
01:12:12,458 --> 01:12:13,285
Tell me later?
1151
01:12:30,215 --> 01:12:32,522
OK guys, so the next
project that we're
1152
01:12:32,609 --> 01:12:36,526
going to be working on this
year, it's called Stan's Face.
1153
01:12:37,657 --> 01:12:40,704
Yes, yes, I know you guys
are all very excited.
1154
01:12:41,922 --> 01:12:44,360
The basic premises, I
wake up every morning
1155
01:12:45,230 --> 01:12:49,365
and take a new
picture of my face.
1156
01:12:52,846 --> 01:12:54,544
Dude, that chick was so hot.
1157
01:12:55,414 --> 01:12:56,981
You and Simon with
college chicks?
1158
01:12:57,068 --> 01:12:57,982
Epic, bro.
1159
01:12:58,069 --> 01:13:00,985
Dude, are you kidding me?
1160
01:13:03,901 --> 01:13:06,207
That's called evidence, son.
1161
01:13:06,556 --> 01:13:07,992
Hey.
1162
01:13:08,688 --> 01:13:10,516
How's your shoulder, baby?
1163
01:13:10,603 --> 01:13:12,823
You know how I feel about
that word, sweet heart.
1164
01:13:12,910 --> 01:13:25,270
[music playing]
1165
01:13:28,273 --> 01:13:29,666
How you doing Simon?
1166
01:13:33,844 --> 01:13:34,540
College girl?
1167
01:13:34,627 --> 01:13:39,719
Nice bro.
1168
01:13:39,806 --> 01:13:40,633
Genius, right?
1169
01:13:47,858 --> 01:13:50,426
Simon, what are you doing here?
1170
01:13:51,601 --> 01:13:55,605
Better question is, what
are you doing in my seat?
1171
01:13:56,214 --> 01:13:57,128
Don't look at me.
1172
01:13:57,215 --> 01:13:59,435
Get out of the man's seat.
1173
01:13:59,783 --> 01:14:07,094
Oh.
1174
01:14:07,181 --> 01:14:09,401
Celia, care to do that honors?
1175
01:14:10,576 --> 01:14:13,100
Since Stanley has stepped
down as intern president,
1176
01:14:13,187 --> 01:14:15,668
I would like to nominate
Simon for president of FMSDA.
1177
01:14:16,234 --> 01:14:17,627
Who will second?
1178
01:14:21,761 --> 01:14:23,197
Great.
1179
01:14:23,763 --> 01:14:25,286
Let's get started.
1180
01:14:25,373 --> 01:14:29,595
I've been working on this
really awesome program.
1181
01:14:37,168 --> 01:14:41,172
Scene 70, take one, marker.
1182
01:14:48,701 --> 01:14:51,095
All right, you ready?
1183
01:14:51,748 --> 01:14:53,314
Ready over there, Tony?
1184
01:14:53,706 --> 01:14:54,664
All right.
1185
01:14:55,142 --> 01:14:56,187
And action.
1186
01:15:01,671 --> 01:15:03,760
I forgot my line.
1187
01:15:04,543 --> 01:15:05,718
Oh shit, we're doing a line?
1188
01:15:06,110 --> 01:15:06,763
Sorry.
1189
01:15:07,111 --> 01:15:07,720
Cut.
1190
01:15:07,807 --> 01:15:09,766
I'm sorry.
1191
01:15:10,549 --> 01:15:13,726
Greetings, blah, blah, blah.
1192
01:15:14,118 --> 01:15:15,554
Sorry.
1193
01:15:16,076 --> 01:15:17,251
You're gross.
1194
01:15:17,687 --> 01:15:19,123
[laughter]
1195
01:15:22,692 --> 01:15:25,651
OK guys--
1196
01:15:26,086 --> 01:15:27,566
[laughter]
1197
01:15:27,653 --> 01:15:31,527
Full disclosure, think
about-- blah, blah, blah.
1198
01:15:34,530 --> 01:15:35,835
OK, what I just said was a lie.
1199
01:15:36,706 --> 01:15:37,707
But that's not-- Shit.
1200
01:15:38,055 --> 01:15:39,535
OK.
1201
01:15:40,492 --> 01:15:42,407
OK, the thing I
just said was a lie.
1202
01:15:43,060 --> 01:15:44,714
About Bash not-- shit.
1203
01:15:45,062 --> 01:15:46,411
OK.
1204
01:15:46,498 --> 01:15:47,281
About me not caring
what Bash does to me.
1205
01:15:47,368 --> 01:15:48,108
All right, I got it.
1206
01:15:48,195 --> 01:15:49,675
Blah, blah, blah.
1207
01:15:49,762 --> 01:15:50,807
You can bet your ass I'm
going to tell everybody
1208
01:15:50,894 --> 01:15:56,987
that they did.
1209
01:15:57,074 --> 01:15:59,380
Because she has to
remove it, right?
1210
01:15:59,729 --> 01:16:00,164
No.
1211
01:16:00,251 --> 01:16:01,513
No?
1212
01:16:01,600 --> 01:16:03,428
No she does not
have to [inaudible]..
1213
01:16:03,515 --> 01:16:04,560
Oh, so it doesn't matter--
1214
01:16:04,647 --> 01:16:08,564
We're not making a pornography.
1215
01:16:09,303 --> 01:16:13,394
Contrary to popular belief.
1216
01:16:21,098 --> 01:16:25,624
We're going to get real weird
with this one, all right?
1217
01:16:26,669 --> 01:16:28,801
Wait until I get off
on the idea that she's
1218
01:16:28,888 --> 01:16:30,716
going to be the first one--
1219
01:16:35,025 --> 01:16:37,244
I totally get off on the idea
of the first girl-- oh my God.
1220
01:16:38,289 --> 01:16:41,771
I totally get off on
the idea of-- oh my God.
1221
01:16:42,249 --> 01:16:45,209
Oh my God.
1222
01:16:45,862 --> 01:16:48,821
Oh man I almost had it.
1223
01:16:49,213 --> 01:16:50,127
Shit.
1224
01:16:50,214 --> 01:16:52,259
Why is this line so hard?
1225
01:16:56,176 --> 01:16:59,484
[inaudible]
1226
01:17:00,180 --> 01:17:02,835
What are we doing right now?
1227
01:17:03,619 --> 01:17:06,622
Scene A71, Frank, take one.
1228
01:17:10,582 --> 01:17:13,977
I just lost my thing-inity.
1229
01:17:14,760 --> 01:17:15,761
Whatever that is.
1230
01:17:16,153 --> 01:17:17,633
Slate.
1231
01:17:18,155 --> 01:17:19,330
Slate-inity.
1232
01:17:19,765 --> 01:17:20,940
[laughter]
1233
01:17:27,120 --> 01:17:28,469
Who's my little buddy?
1234
01:17:28,556 --> 01:17:29,993
You know what we're going to do?
1235
01:17:31,081 --> 01:17:33,039
You're going to
type the buttons,
1236
01:17:33,126 --> 01:17:34,258
you're going to make it happen--
1237
01:17:34,345 --> 01:17:38,958
[laughter]
1238
01:17:39,698 --> 01:17:40,960
It is your will.
1239
01:17:41,047 --> 01:17:44,572
It is God's work
that you do this.
1240
01:17:45,095 --> 01:17:46,574
It is your fate.
1241
01:17:47,010 --> 01:17:47,967
Do you see?
1242
01:17:48,054 --> 01:17:49,665
The computer tells you.
1243
01:17:50,448 --> 01:17:53,581
It is if it is speaking to us.
1244
01:17:54,017 --> 01:17:56,280
[SINGING]
1245
01:17:56,628 --> 01:18:00,327
OK.
1246
01:18:00,414 --> 01:18:01,720
[screaming]
1247
01:18:02,765 --> 01:18:04,549
I was actually going
to say I was thinking
1248
01:18:05,245 --> 01:18:06,290
about a different direction.
1249
01:18:06,377 --> 01:18:07,944
I was thinking about that.
1250
01:18:08,031 --> 01:18:09,946
After he leaves,
I go over there.
1251
01:18:10,033 --> 01:18:11,295
I start making out with Stanley.
1252
01:18:11,382 --> 01:18:12,644
Oh my God.
1253
01:18:13,340 --> 01:18:14,298
Why is everyone laughing?
1254
01:18:14,385 --> 01:18:15,560
That was stupid.
1255
01:18:15,647 --> 01:18:17,127
Why is everyone laughing?
1256
01:18:17,214 --> 01:18:18,389
All right, so--
1257
01:18:18,476 --> 01:18:19,695
No one's laughing.
1258
01:18:20,565 --> 01:18:23,002
Take 32, [inaudible],,
take three.
1259
01:18:29,052 --> 01:18:29,835
[beeping]
1260
01:18:29,922 --> 01:18:30,880
The clacking things.
1261
01:18:38,931 --> 01:18:40,019
57 Charlie, take one.
1262
01:18:40,890 --> 01:18:41,847
That's a lot of Charlie's.
1263
01:18:43,196 --> 01:18:45,851
That's 57 Charlie
all over the place.
1264
01:18:49,986 --> 01:18:51,030
Oh fuck, dude.
1265
01:18:51,596 --> 01:18:53,990
No.
1266
01:18:54,425 --> 01:18:55,339
Acting.
1267
01:18:55,426 --> 01:18:56,340
No, OK.
1268
01:18:56,906 --> 01:18:59,604
42 Dallas, take one.
1269
01:19:00,344 --> 01:19:01,606
It should always be dollars.
1270
01:19:02,302 --> 01:19:03,826
Dollars, dollars, dollars.
1271
01:19:03,913 --> 01:19:05,566
Dollar bills, y'all.
1272
01:19:06,263 --> 01:19:07,612
Everything is about Stanley.
1273
01:19:07,699 --> 01:19:09,527
Everything is about Stanley.
1274
01:19:09,614 --> 01:19:13,749
Stanley is starring
in his own movie.
1275
01:19:14,271 --> 01:19:16,664
[inaudible]
1276
01:19:17,230 --> 01:19:18,144
Oh, right, right.
1277
01:19:18,231 --> 01:19:19,015
[inaudible]
1278
01:19:21,931 --> 01:19:27,240
I got caught up being
popular and being--
1279
01:19:27,327 --> 01:19:29,460
it totally fell.
1280
01:19:31,462 --> 01:19:32,768
And--
1281
01:19:35,945 --> 01:19:42,386
Head to scene 68,
your anus, take one.
1282
01:19:42,865 --> 01:19:43,648
And action.
1283
01:19:43,953 --> 01:19:44,867
Wait, what are we doing?
1284
01:19:44,954 --> 01:19:46,303
What are we doing?
1285
01:19:47,826 --> 01:19:57,880
[music playing]
1286
01:19:57,880 --> 01:20:05,670
[music playing]
76442
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