Original subtitles

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Will you marry me?

Breakfast is ready!

- Good morning! - Good morning.

- Coffee? - Yes. Thanks.

Did you sleep well?

- Milk? - Yes. Thanks.

Honey, you know my thoughts on marriage.

We're fine like this!

We do the same things married couples do.

Like living in the same house,

having kids, deciding the color of the couch?

No.

It's an important decision for me.

For me...

I don't need an answer right now.

I'm off to work.

I'll sleep at home tonight.

So you can clarify things.

What's he doing in his restaurant at 10 am?

You know Mauro!

Speak Greek to me!

- Speak Greek, it excites me! - I'm from Genoa!

Genoa? Then tell me the menu.

Gyros.

10 euros.

I'll text him.

- Soutzoukakia. - Oh, God, soutzoukakia!

11 euros.

"I'm comin' in 5 minutes!"

God, give me the bill.

The waitress...

A knockout, she got a friend?

For you, with that tie? Let's go!

C'mon!

Damned idiot!

District Court of Rome 1st Civil Section

Hey, big guy, c'mon!

- Massimo, no trustin'. - I'm a little tense.

That's normal, relax, it'll go great.

- My tie? - Fine.

You're a real dude!

Go!

I'm gettin' bad vibes!

Law courts, you go in great but you can end up...

Today's a particular day for Massimo and we're standing by him.

No, nothing serious!

Just a hearing for separation.

We're standing by him because we're experts.

The first was Mauro, two years ago.

- Since when do you earn 800 a month? - Since the crisis.

Ours! And the villa, the shore house, the cars?

All in Dad's name. Mi amor!

Pig!

Slut.

- What? - It's an expression of ours!

Free! And she didn't get a cent!

Vamos a vivir, amor!

How'll he make out?

The second was Roberto, Massimo's brother.

Not exactly the same as for Mauro.

- Nitwit, you heard the judge? - I did...

- What did he say? - I was wrong.

Good! You can't do what you want now.

- You understand the new rules? - Yeah, I'm no idiot!

The Beagle Boys!

Get back to work or I'll kick you out too!

She's in my grip.

Roberto's still under the same roof.

What are you doing?

We need tape? Seems like we had an accident!

- I did, marrying you. - When I need the bathroom?

Ask the judge.

Be good! Stop...

Don't... stop playing with this fucking tape!

Go do your homework.

Then, 6 months ago, it happened to me.

Honey, remember we're having dinner at Rosalba and Romeo's?

Who could forget? With those names!

You're so dumb!

I'm off! See you later!

Darling!

See you soon, my eternal love!

Today it's Massimo's turn.

Don't worry, it'll be quick and painless.

We've already agreed to things, a signature and it's done.

- Impotent, whoremonger! - Impotent or whoremonger, decide.

- You're limp! - You're frigid!

Shall we go?

People are really uncivilized!

We did well to separate by mutual consent.

If things don't work, they don't! Why scream and fight?

Especially with children.

- Is Nicole okay? - Certainly!

- What's she say? - About what?

I haven't slept at home for a week now.

She didn't even realize it, you never used to be there either.

You know, working...

In fact, I said you were at an auction in London

and won't be back for a while.

I'll have to return sooner or later. What will we say? When?

We're next, this way.

Virginia!

You're sure?

It's best for us both, actually, for all three.

Let's go.

Who's Paolo talking to? He's a mystery man, off on his own.

I say it's a woman but he won't tell.

So sensitive...

Has he broken our pact?

And gone back to his wife? No!

He'd be a real rat!

Look who's talking, you live with yours!

So what? I've got Marcella in my grip.

I'll kick her out when I want!

The couple's home goes to the wife

who shall continue living there with the daughter.

The father will make monthly 2,000-euro mortgage payments.

He will deposit 2,000 euro monthly for the child

until her economic independence.

The minor, Nicole, is in the mother's custody.

The father has three visiting rights a week, phoning in advance.

If there's nothing further, we can sign.

Thank you.

Here's Massimo!

How did it go?

She's a whore!

In cahoots, the judge and her, a woman judge!

A bitch judging another bitch!

I said to fight, you shouldn't have given her a cent.

Whore! "Let's be civil".

Sure, there's a child!

"Let's go for mutual consent?" Okay!

She took everything with my consent, that bitch!

Calm down!

It's normal, the wound's still open, it takes time!

"We'll resolve this darling, don't worry, darling"...

She called me darling and took it all.

What if she thought I was a pain in the ass! Whore!

Stop!

Where are you going? Are you crazy?

Daddy's family!

It won't last, it'll end in shit!

That girl, in cahoots with the judge, will ruin you!

- You bastard! - Don't lose your temper Dad.

I'll just beat him up, that's all.

Then hurry, the buffet's waiting.

- The judge ruined me! - I'll do it myself.

Stop!

- I have the solution! - Which is?

- Run! - You'd better.

C'mon, long live the newlyweds!

- Let's have a snack later? - Okay.

Unless he invites me...

He's so cute!

Don't hold your breath!

Nothing goes right for him!

- What do you expect from a lawyer? - Racist!

Judge with judge, lawyer with lawyer.

The usual, Rinaldi!

I'm sorry, President, sir.

- Hello, President, sir. - Hello.

Always in the halls, then they complain about slow justice!

Always glued to those vending machines!

I see he's in a good mood.

There's Giorgio... What a day!

Giorgio, have a bite with us later?

No thanks, I'll just grab something and get back to work.

He's in a good mood too.

I'll tell you later.

Meaning?

He's never managed to say a word to me!

- I don't know what to do. - How can you doubt Giorgio?

He's handsome, intelligent, romantic.

He's a judge, practically perfect! Why wait to marry him?

What's all this about marriage!

"Get married, get married..." if you're not married you're ET.

"Not married? At your age! Something's wrong!"

I know married people: they're either separated or sad.

You should have a go.

Have a go! Gather ye rosebuds,carpe diem! It's all you say.

This morning:

engaged 12 years, married Saturday, I separated them this morning.

So? Not everyone.

If someone drowns, you don't stop going to the Maldives!

Drowning, that's the image when talking about marriage.

I can't breathe.

You're pathological, hopeless!

Meantime Massimo, in his bookshop, tries to go on.

Kioko, put the lady on.

She's not at work today, she's there.

Seeing the void threatening to swallow your life,

the instinct of self-preservation...

She's had a fever for a month!

...pushes you to begin again.

Virginia, I want to talk to my daughter.

I'm her father, it's my right.

Life, people, nature are always searching for new balances.

Where a void is created,

something's coming to fill it.

"I Am Here", thank you.

Then let me talk to her!

I want to talk to Nicole, I'm her father!

I'm just fine.

- My voice is not shaking! - Honestly, it's shaking.

Let me talk to Nicole.

Put her on right now!

It's nothing.

Hello?

Damned bitch. Disgusting witch!

Get some fresh air.

Everything's just fine!

I'm going outside.

I was a lot worse off, this man changed my life!

Have him read it!

Yeah, thanks.

We can't leave him like this, he'll do something stupid.

No, I won't get up!

Can you believe? I have to beg my friends for a place!

She took everything, she won't let me see my daughter.

In cahoots with the judge, a woman!

- To judge a bitch... - They use another bitch.

Right.

You said it three times, now get lost, I gotta get to work.

Run me down! Kill me!

- You're big, beat him to death. - Beat me to death.

- He just separated. - Then he's already had enough.

Nothing, he just got separated! Welcome to the club.

Are you crazy?

Sorry, I'm his brother.

- You're the sane one? - Great!

Nice jacket.

Let's hope it was a gift.

Ninety-five, ninety-six...

- It was a lovely party. - Turn the phone off!

Yes, Silvie was there too.

She gave me a beautiful gift, unforgettable!

Half of Paris was there, my Lido friends.

Just you were missing!

There's wonderful news.

- You know Giorgio, her boyfriend... - Mom!

He popped the question! She, of course...

- I told her that too! - Turn that phone off.

I'll call and tell you everything.

Veronique says why not get married?

Why are you terrified of marriage? You took after your father.

Of course, he didn't marry four times like you did!

- Five, next month! - What?

I remarrying next month, didn't I tell you?

No, just one tiny detail you left out.

This time's not like the others.

This time he's the man of your life, you'll love him forever...

until he dies.

- I'm getting married in church. - In church?

With who?

We've decided to keep it a secret till the wedding.

Please, at your age certain...

What's age got to do with love?

"Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, Old Time is still a-flying;

and this same flower that smiles today, tomorrow will be dying".

Great! How was it? Gather ye rosebuds for Old Time...

Time smiles and tomorrow who knows?

- The old gal's cool! - Old gal to your mother!

Let's do another series, c'mon.

- Let's... - C'mon, I feel in shape!

Waiting for Roberto to find a place for Massimo,

we decided to host him a week each.

The first week, he was my guest.

Then it was Roberto's turn.

He's staying here?

He's my brother, can I turn him out?

When your sister got separated, she stayed here.

That was a few days and she didn't smoke.

But she drank! She downed everything.

He leaves, or I'll rope off the neighborhood.

He's here till Sunday, then he's with Mauro.

Who are you, Goddess Circe?

Turandot, get me a cigarette.

Luckily, Roberto found a darling apartment.

What the fuck place is this?

All stripes, mirrors, lights...

This is all he can afford.

- A slut lived here! - No... a transsexual! Maria.

Wow, Ciccio the precocious!

Shut up! It was in confidence.

- You got a double life? - No way!

She's a client, I insured her.

Who knows what she insured!

C'mon, a coat of paint, personal touches...

Remove the dicks...

With your splendid bookshelves it'll all be more...

more...

A separation has some tough moments.

One is getting your things from your ex.

Come to the window, you witch!

My bookshelves, you witch!

My bookshelves...

My walnut bookshelves!

You promised them to me! Where do I put my books? You witch!

Where do I put my books? You damned witch!

- Stop! - Let go of me.

What the shit are you looking at, shitface?

Quiet, you'll scare people!

I'll yell all I want!

Mommy, it's Daddy yelling, right?

No, sweetheart, it's not Daddy.

With what I pay every month! And I do pay!

My walnut bookshelves!

Giorgio!

What is it?

You want to marry me too?

Great!

You're kiddin', the presentation of your book!

Great!

Of course, I'll come.

No, I have a Vespa, not a car.

Great!

Vernissage!

Come to my place? Great!

Okay, see you tomorrow, bye!

She's an intellectual, boobs like this.

"I am nothing,

I'll never be anything, I couldn't want to be something".

What a laugh!

God helps those who help themselves, but no miracles.

- It's Pessoa. - A tranquillizer?

Fernando Pessoa is a great poet.

"I couldn't want to be something, but apart from that,

I have in me all the dreams in the world".

- Nice! - You're right, it's beautiful.

- All the dreams? - In the world...

It's a 1924 edition, original.

It's extremely valuable.

- Is this it? - Yes.

What the fuck...?

It's useless in there.

With it, I'll be screwin' that intellectual tomorrow!

What's that walk?

Yes, my love, esta noche I'll mount you like a filly.

Mom: the most beautiful gift of my life!

- Mom! - Did you see the video?

- Yes, but who filmed it? - Me!

Are you crazy? Delete it right away.

No way, it's the most beautiful gift of my life.

My love!

Actually, Leon says it was a big success,

he'll call you, to do it again.

- I'm a judge, not a dancer. - And so?

- You're totally crazy! - I know.

Delete it right away!

Crumbles!

Not outside!

Yes, my love, you are preciosa,

see you mañana, mañana...

She's Cuban, and such a pig, does certain stuff!

- A dog bone? - So, it's true!

I didn't want to believe they serve dogs in the restaurant next door!

Let's report them? We have the bone, it's proof.

Bark, your time's up!

What did you do?

Where do you live? You're uncivilized!

I'm sorry, it was my dog.

Sorry, I didn't mean you.

I meant this hick here.

You're uncivil, why yell?

It's just a bone.

Don't be scared! I'll bring it up?

Don't bother, I'll be right down.

She's coming down! What a doll.

We'll organize a gang bang with the neighbor, to boost Massimo.

Is a gang bang an orgy? Wait!

What a wreck, let's pick things up.

- Pick things up? - It's all zebra and leopard.

- Who's that? - Huh, who?

Wants an orgy... Go to the door.

Everywhere you turn, now handcuffs.

From bad to worse!

Please come in.

Sorry for the mess.

Please excuse me, I don't know why the dog did this.

Don't say a word.

Our meeting was fated.

I'm Greek and believe deeply in fate. Mauro.

Um... So I have new neighbors.

No, we're not neighbors.

We friends of the owner,

he's in there, he wanted to be in peace, he's resting.

- Resting in peace. - He's asleep.

- Hi, Silvie. - A pleasure, Paolo.

My dog dropped a bone onto your terrace, I came down to...

It's not my terrace, I'm a friend of the owner's.

A house full of friends!

It's a house full of friends...

- The owner's Massimo, he's in there. - Then he comes here.

He comes and goes, a goner.

Forgive the mess, Massimo has just moved in.

- Right, the one living here was... - A transsexual!

Yes, Maria. A very cute girl.

Maria's a transsexual.

Maria is so cute!

He's a client of mine... she's a client... okay...

- The bone? - The bone, let's have coffee, huh?

Roberto makes excellent coffee.

All these books! They look antique.

Massimo has a bookshop downtown.

Don't be fooled by the surroundings, Massimo's an important guy,

travels all over the world.

Even too much, that's why his wife left him.

Massimo's having a rough time, he just got separated.

- He's separated... - It didn't go down well.

Witch, damned witch!

The father will deposit

2,000 euros monthly.

Here we are!

For Silvie, you get your own.

- I'll have coffee and go. - Yes...

- Have you lived here long? - Five years.

- Do you live alone? - No, with Crumbles.

- The Rottweiler. - Him too!

- You have a Rottweiler? - It's my wife, worse!

- Here's the owner. - Massimo this is...

Slut!

Damned slut!

Don't worry, he acts like that

because a colleague of yours stripped him naked, the slut.

- That's me. - Who?

The slut... The judge of his separation is me.

I said slut in the figurative sense.

Bitch!

Don't worry, he'll come to his senses soon.

Thank you, sorry for troubling you.

She a stunner!

I put him out cold!

He's going to be living in my building.

I don't want to put him out cold every time I come home.

- Goddamit. - What?

He's a klutz, hopeless.

Sorry, what about your neighbor?

How do I resolve this?

At dawn Operation Transinico starts.

Do like Antinori, get an escort.

He's in the anti-Mafia!

Serious solution.

Make a report to the Carabinieri,

when he gets close, he's sent away.

I should make a report to get him closer.

He's a lawyer!

It's Counselor Rinaldi!

The woman who ruined my life lives above me!

The one who ruined mine is still living with me!

What pussy!

If you hadn't flipped, I'd have shot off civil codes: Celtex, Durex...

I have to move!

Let go, I have to move!

What manners!

Hello, how can I help you?

I pay a high mortagage and must leave the house to my wife.

We have all kinds of solutions!

I pay child support, but she won't even let me see her!

Would a studio apartment be okay?

I have one, I pay outrageous rent for a den of transsexuals!

It's a den of transsexuals!

Our homes are screened...

My wife takes all I earn, help me!

Please, pull yourself together.

I'm worse off than you, I eat at the Caritas.

My wife ruined me.

But now...

I took this suit from the Goodwill box!

- Used suits? - Yes!

- It doesn't look so bad. - And the kids!

What did she do?

Eight months of mission in Mozambic, it must have been tough.

Very tough, but we have big hearts.

I like sensitive people.

My calling card, call tomorrow, mealtimes.

- I eat very early. - Me, too.

Sensitive... this kind likes to be beat up, I can tell!

- Everything okay? - I'm better.

I believe it!

The real estate agent sleeps in his car?

Lucky him, no tape, free!

It's a French number! It must be Florance!

It might even be a liberation.

- Are the separation grounds ready? - Naturally.

- I still have a few doubts. - But it's done!

The conditions of the separation don't convince me.

The couple want them, if it's what they want!

Malita Cheeks

The conditions are unfavorable for the wife, I'm convinced.

I want the sentence on my table tomorrow, without changes.

- Clear? - Very clear.

I wouldn't lose any sleep, the woman is on her third divorce.

She must have learned something.

Mr. President, sir...

Who's Malita Cheeks?

Mr. Leon, you dialled a wrong number!

How do you say "wrong" in French?

- Erroné. - Immoral.

But wasn't "immoral"...

You are immoral with the number...

If vous parlé over me...

- Let Massimo talk. - Liberté, equalité, fraternité.

That's all I say.

Verve Leontin?

No, it's the téléphone du Mauro.

Hey, that's my work phone. What did he want?

It was a club in Paris, Verve Leontine,

he was looking for a dancer, a certain Silvie.

Silvie?

Miss, please don't shout.

Miss Malita, I told you there was an exchange of...

Don't yell.

I'm no one's lover!

Luisa EE

Again!

Luisa EE?

A Paris club looking for the judge for a dance.

That's her!

It's Silvie, the neighbor, the judge.

I picked up the wrong phone this morning.

I realized that, let's meet and exchange phones,

I work with that phone.

I saw that... I'm at the courthouse until 6 pm.

Ask for Judge Montanelli.

Just the time it takes...

She hung up.

It's the judge's phone!

- No looking at other's phones. - I sure do!

- Give it to me! - Look at the dirty pictures.

Hey, c'mon!

The dog, the old lady...

- It's a crime, understand? - Who gives a damn.

Wait, there's a video.

Wow!

Are you sure it's her? She's wearing a mask.

The mask? Look at her ass!

Get a load of the judge...

- Where are you going? - To give the phone back.

You'll get us in trouble too.

It's easy, just don't come.

With no delays, the divorce will be ratified by March.

Let go of me!

Gentlemen, you can't go upstairs!

Goodbye.

- You can't go in. - Nothing will happen.

- It's personal. - Leave him, Raniero, I'll do this.

Raniero, we told you.

Your honor...

- Ma'am, is everything okay? - Yes, don't worry, thank you.

A call came from Paris,

Mauro answered thinking it was his phone.

- We saw Leon's video. - Not on purpose.

Count on our discretion.

May I have it back, please?

Massimo?

Good, huh?

What would your colleagues think if they saw it.

What would the prosecutor think,

if I reported you for blackmail and violation of privacy.

I'm scared!

We judge the faults of others and then...

Dancing in a club is not a crime and you're playing with fire.

- No... - It was a accident.

- It was my brother, not me. - They don't play with fire.

I play with fire, I violate privacy, I blackmail.

I have nothing more to lose, you took it all.

- I just did my duty. - You did your duty...

It's easy from here.

You did all you could to keep her from losing her career.

The lady has a billionaire lover.

Now she has two homes, four maids.

I don't smoke, don't drink, don't screw.

My life is in shreds, but I have to maintain her lifestyle.

Do you think you were treated unfairly?

- And you ask? - I'm just a judge.

You're a stinking executioner.

Think it's easy to do what I do?

Deciding if it's black or white

when I know it can't be all black or all white.

You think a judge ruined your lives

but you forget your lives were already shit when you came here.

Why do you separate?

Is it the judge's fault or yours?

Do you think I like listening to your pettiness?

Meddling in your finances? Deciding for your children?

But I have to because you can't.

You tell lie upon lie, you do despicible things,

you use your children to appease your guilt, failures, frustrations.

That's not true, I did a mutual consent for my daughter.

- I left the house for my daughter. - Why take it out on me?

You gave too much for guilt feelings and now you blame the judge?

Go on, discredit me!

The court president is at the end of the hall.

Nothing will change inside you.

You made your own mistakes and can't erase them.

Meantime I'll take my phone back because I work with it...

Out!

You again!

Come in!

Yes?

Come in.

This is yours.

A very upset man gave it to me.

He says you left it in a snack bar.

Thank you.

Your head's always in a cloud! Thinking too much about love.

Pull over.

Let's go.

He's asleep, he's a wreck, poor thing.

I can't come darling, that fool Mauro dumped him here.

I know you understand me.

Okay, good night. I miss you.

Me too.

You too.

You too...

See you tomorrow.

Oh, Massimo, you scared me to death!

- It was a girlfriend? - Yes.

I'm glad.

Good for you.

You deserve all the best.

Thank you.

Let's go to bed, you're tired.

- It's been an exhausting day. - I know.

But we can handle it, c'mon!

What are you doing?

Lack of affection.

- Want some? - No, thanks.

I'm in there, okay?

Everything okay?

Oh, my God!

Open up!

Open up!

Open up, your friend is sick!

He's outside, on the terrace.

Here's Paolo!

You made a mess!

I'm an orderly, you make me insert cathters!

Catheters? They gave him a catheter?

I don't know, they won't let me in.

- There he is! - Hey, guys!

- How is he? - Just fine, like new.

He didn't take much Valium, the choclate had expired.

The most he'll have is diarrea.

- Thanks. - Don't mention it.

Listen to me, forget women.

I moved back to my mother's, I'm a new man.

Thank you.

I have heartburn.

You made me argue with my wife, she didn't want me going out.

Want me to go... that verb takes a full infinitive.

You're dying and you think of infinitves!

Who's calling at this hour?

I never thought about what happens after a sentence.

Now I just think about the thousands of couples I've separatd.

Where they are, how they're doing...

The lives of those you judge mustn't be a your problem.

I know and that's usually the case.

I hear so much spite, so much pain,

but to see it, attempting suicide...

But you saved him.

Have you ever felt guilty for a sentence?

A judge judges others' faults, never his or her own.

He lives right below me.

Then the situation isn't easy.

Dealing with the Mafia, it has never happened

that a criminal came to live below me.

What a mess!

What does Giorgio think?

Things are getting complicated!

He asked me to marry him.

It had to happen sooner or later.

I can help you with your professional crises,

but for the sentimental ones, you know who you need.

- You know she's remarrying. - Yes, and in church.

How do you know that?

An old judge has his sources.

She didn't want to tell me with whom.

You know she's extravagant!

Full of surprises.

Dad...

why didn't you ever remarry?

Silvie... cheers!

There are loads under the cushions.

A walking drugstore! What were you thinking?

You crumbled Xanax into the salt.

Have bruschetta and you'll see rabbits fly.

There's an empty Prozac box, where are the pills?

In the apple juice.

I'm fucking fed up, we've been with you a month now.

You're not the only one to separate.

Mauro, don't get angry.

We heeded Padre Pio and ended up in the ER.

Huh, Padre Pio?

Now we do as I say,

it's time to dunk your cookie, thaw the shrimp.

Stop it!

Shower, we'll go to a girlfriend of mine who'll put you back in shape.

- We'll bring everything. - Everything?

White wine, condoms, the bag.

The bag?

The kit, sex toys.

A dirty videogame?

Implements for sexual fun:

handcuffs, dicks with suction cups, the usual.

The usual for who?

You're scandalized? Look where we are!

I don't have that kit, I have a kit for eating.

Asia Mama, chicken and ginger ravioli... good!

Salmon and dill ravioli, good!

Veal with mushrooms and bamboo.

Sure, bamboo... I'll eat even the bamboo.

- Where did you get this stuff? - At a sushi take away.

It's classy stuff, not like from your father's restaurant.

Hey, Greek cooking...

No, please, or he'll get started on Greek cooking.

Greek cooking is tops for him.

Remember in Turkey when we saw the "Phosphorus"?

- Bosphorus. - Bosphorus, whatever.

"You must taste moussaka!"

We tried it!

It's eggplant parmesan, my mother makes it better!

What ignorance!

I'm better.

Thank you.

I haven't seen my daughter for a month.

One month!

You can appeal, you know?

To start again with courts, sentences...

Nicole is 8 years old.

She needs a father.

She needs...

She's beautiful.

And so intelligent.

I went by her school today,

I waved from a distance, she looked at me... nothing.

But I thought maybe she wanted to.

Maybe she wanted to...

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

She wanted to!

She wanted to!

At first I was in my mother's custody,

she wouldn't let me see my father.

Then my father had custody and wouldn't let me see my mother.

Your father got custody?

My father's a judge, my mother was a dancer.

She worked at the Lido.

The Lido in Ostia?

- The Lido in Paris. - France.

It was easy for my father to get custody.

"The work environment is not fitting for a healthy education".

For years I thought there was something dirty about her work.

I hadn't seen her for some time

and she came to Milan on tour.

My father reluctantly took me to her dressing room.

I went in, looked at her,

she nodded,

I turned around and left.

I was confused, angry,

I felt abandoned.

And she felt guilty.

That's why she didn't take the first step.

If she didn't, why should I, a 9-year-old girl?

In all this, how did you get into the striper circuit?

Roberto, please!

We all saw the video!

I'm not in the striper circuit!

It was a gift for my mother's birthday.

Her ex-colleagues went back on stage at her friend's club.

- Leon? - Right.

- I did a surprise number. - An unusual gift!

It was a way

of telling her I shouldn't be ashamed of her.

My mother is a very intelligent woman,

extravagant.

- She married four times! - Four?

Four weddings, four separations, three funerals.

My father is still living.

He's alive but she buried three. Good for your mother!

Maybe your mother brings a little bad luck?

Let's hope not, she's marrying again for the fifth time!

Stubborn, huh?

Are you married?

With what I see in court...

You see just the negative part of marriage in court.

There's the positive part too.

That wonderful moment...

there's something to share, a project that's not just yours.

And there's love!

Good, Paolo.

What the fuck are you sayin'?

Silvie, love... don't listen to him.

Don't marry, go on like you are, marriage suffocates you.

Always the two of you: the two of you go to a restaurant,

the two of you go shopping, the two of you make a decision...

Marriage needs moments experienced alone.

For example, I'd have had my honeymoon alone.

Think when the kids come, it's no longer the two of you!

No, there are still two of you, but the other's a child, you don't count.

Let's send him to a nearby school?

Are you crazy? Our children will go to a private, experimental school.

Where is it? The other side of the city.

Let's send him to a music school around the corner.

To that den of addicts? My son will go to the conservatory.

Cut the noise with those sticks!

Where's the conservatory? On the other side of the city.

First position...

Attitude... arabesque.

Why does he do ballet? Can't he do gym?

Idiot, he's doing ballet, he'll go to the Academy!

Where's the Dance Academy? On the other side of the city.

Everything they do is on the other side of the city.

So, let's go live on the other side of the city!

What a ghastly mood!

Are you crazy?

There's just one solution to save the evening.

Could I have another tea with a lot of lemon?

With a baked apple... This isn't a hospital!

Three mojitos!

Here, take your lemon with a mojito.

How dare he?

What an evening!

It's my wife!

Marcella!

- Where are you? - Guess what, I'm still in the ER.

I'll send you to the ER if you give me any more crap.

- What's that music? - It's the radio.

- Salsa and Merengue? - To raise the patients' spirits.

It's 3 am, are you taking another day off tomorrow?

I'll get you kicked off work, the insurance where you work is mine!

I can't take her anymore.

- Weren't you all separated? - But he's still under the same roof.

The worst part of marriage and the worst part of separation.

Three mojitos for Mauretto who's always partying.

Good Ezio, always working! When do you get a vacation?

I'm getting married in June, who'll pay for the reception?

Don't do it, don't get married!

Your whole life alone is better.

You go home and find it's empty!

No one in the living room,

no one in the bedroom,

no one in the bathroom, no one in the kitchen.

No one in the fridge.

There's a beer waiting,

turn on the TV, alone.

Alone, always alone!

- What's wrong? - Nothing, forget it.

The fridge, the beer...

you go shopping and that shit beer stays there!

Don't think about it.

If I could return home and find my wife, that pain in the ass...

- What are you saying? - Forget it.

Mauro's in love with his wife...

What a disappointment!

- You're sure this is the place? - Yes.

- What are you doing here? - What a nice surprise!

- She's a friend. - Gaia, my pleasure.

Gaia, a lovely name!

- Gaia and Giorgio sounds good. - We're just friends.

Be patient, he'll pop the question in just a while.

- You've had too much to drink. - Yes, want to take advantage?

Want to ask me again? I might even say yes.

Let's go.

Don't you like the party? Running away?

Running away?

Me? You've been running away for five years, I'm tired of chasing you.

Leave me alone!

- It's nothing. - What is it?

What are you looking at?

What's to look at? What did I do? Did I make a mistake? Tell me!

- Should I have married him? - No...

What is it with this fucking marriage for all of you?

You talk about it, you're scared, then you bump straight into it, why?

You ask us? Ask your mother who's getting married for the fifth time.

Right!

Right, it's a wonderful idea, I'll go ask her.

- No, you're tired now. - I'm drunk, I'll go and be back.

You come too! Don't you want to learn the mystery of marriage?

Let's go! I have to ask the greatest expert!

I don't feel like it.

You don't? Let's go discover the mystery of marriage!

Stop here.

What a house! Dancers make good money.

Are you crazy?

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,

the same flower that smiles today, tomorrow will be dying.

Nice poem! Is it Leopardi?

- Horace! - Horace...

I don't know him.

Mom threw her money away on schools for you.

I have to ask you a very important question.

These are my friends, c'mon in!

My mother, Paolo, Roberto, Mauro, Massimo...

All separated! I separated him myself and he attempted suicide.

We were talking about marriage...

I'm drunk.

We were talking about marriage

and we were wondering why the heck people get married!

Roberto had a fantastic idea!

"Why not ask your mother?"

Sure, she's been married four times

and is about to marry a fifth time, without even telling me with who...

Dad?

She wanted it to be a secret.

I told you, your mother is full of surprises!

Well... congratulations!

Open it!

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, Old Time is still a-flying

and this same flower that smiles today, tomorrow will be dying.

It's just that...

That Greek waitress from before?

I fired her...

I fired her myself, I decide the personnel now.

Good for you, Elisabetta!

- Hello, things okay? - Wonderful.

The one who's marrying in June!

- Not anymore. - Why not?

I decided to take some time, marriage is a serious thing.

- Tell us about it! - He's right.

I'll check in the kitchen on the waiters...

Yes, go. Paolo?

He's on the phone as usual!

Silvie, believe me, he never stops!

There's a person who calls, he won't say, but something's there.

He won't tell us the name.

- I think it's his wife. - I don't think so.

I think it's someone younger than him,

like an 18-year-old, look how he moves...

Right, with his head to one side...

He's got to tell us now.

Help us out, you're a judge.

When he comes back, question him and he'll give us the name.

Paolo, we all agree.

Even the judge agrees:

we won't leave here until you give us the name.

- Whose name? - Your sister's... c'mon!

It's not the right moment, I don't want to.

The name, the name...

Please, don't insist.

- I'd say it's the right moment. - Please, no.

- The name... - The name!

Saverio.

The name...

- His name's Saverio. - That's a man's name!

The name...

Is it a man?

Why didn't you tell us?

What should I have said?

Friends, at forty I've discovered I like men?

How long have you been...

- Have you been... - Gay, we say gay!

Since I met Saverio, a year ago.

Listen, I'm just saying...

Before, when we played soccer, in the locker room, in the shower...

- I said a year ago. - Stop!

Saverio was the first.

We met at a party, he's a psychologist...

a really nice person.

I don't know how it happened, it just did.

Yes, but, sorry...

We're your best friends, why didn't you tell us?

I was afraid.

Afraid of what?

Did you think we'd stop caring for you just because you're...

- Just because you're... - Gay, we say gay.

- Yes, but I always called them... - Queers!

- Yes but, this way... - Just to say.

But I care for you just the same.

I care for you just the same too.

Come here!

Here he is! Thanks.

Good grief!

- So, you like Tiziano Ferro! - No.

Raffaella Carrà?

Do we have to resort to stereotypes regarding homosexuals?

Now we have a gay friend, let us take the piss!

To Saverio!

A toast!

To Saverio!

Finally the great day came.

- No, it's not our wedding. - We can't yet, here.

It's theirs.

You already know how it works, right? You're no spring chickens.

Vittorio and Stefania, I unite you in matrimony

and you promise to be close for better or for worse

and to love and honor one another till judge do you part.

- I said "judge"? - Yes.

Till death do you part.

Vittorio and Stefania, I declare you husband and wife.

The husband may kiss the bride.

And they all lived happily ever after.

Everyone of them!

translation Charlotte Lantery

subtitles Ombre Digital - Roma