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♪ Don't care
what you think about it ♪
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00:00:21,891 --> 00:00:23,588
♪ Ain't here to
please nobody ♪
3
00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:25,112
♪ I'm the one
they run for cover ♪
4
00:00:25,155 --> 00:00:27,810
♪ Here comes trouble now
5
00:00:30,595 --> 00:00:34,686
♪ Mend my wicked ways
6
00:00:34,730 --> 00:00:36,775
♪ I'll get you
into trouble now ♪
7
00:00:36,819 --> 00:00:40,953
♪ It's just so
hard to behave ♪
8
00:00:40,997 --> 00:00:45,262
♪ Got you seeing double now
9
00:00:49,658 --> 00:00:51,225
♪ I'm the one
your mama told you ♪
10
00:00:51,268 --> 00:00:53,096
♪ I play the one
as torture ♪
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00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:54,619
♪ The risk you cant afford
12
00:00:54,663 --> 00:00:56,186
♪ Here comes trouble now
13
00:00:56,230 --> 00:00:59,929
♪ Turn it up all night
14
00:00:59,972 --> 00:01:03,150
♪ Got you feeling high
15
00:01:03,193 --> 00:01:06,414
♪ Turn it up all night
16
00:01:06,457 --> 00:01:09,678
♪ Got you feeling high
17
00:01:09,721 --> 00:01:11,984
♪ Get you into trouble now
18
00:01:17,816 --> 00:01:19,992
- What are some of your favorite
things to do in the bedroom?
19
00:01:20,036 --> 00:01:21,690
- Wow.
20
00:01:21,733 --> 00:01:23,518
Um.
[ laugh ]
21
00:01:24,171 --> 00:01:28,131
My favorite thing in the
bedroom would definitely be...
22
00:01:28,175 --> 00:01:30,655
I'm so different.
It depends on the day.
23
00:01:30,699 --> 00:01:33,180
- So I've always had this
thing like the whole idea of
24
00:01:33,223 --> 00:01:34,529
being like tied up.
25
00:01:34,572 --> 00:01:36,226
- I have been tied
up in the bedroom.
26
00:01:36,270 --> 00:01:38,446
I kind of like that.
27
00:01:38,489 --> 00:01:39,621
- You've tied me up.
28
00:01:39,664 --> 00:01:41,013
- Tied her up a
couple of times.
29
00:01:41,057 --> 00:01:42,058
- I have a couple of
like restraint things at my
30
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:44,756
apartment that
we've dabbled with.
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00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:47,281
- Trusting your partner to
like take care of you and
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00:01:47,324 --> 00:01:51,023
keep you safe is like a
very intimate experience.
33
00:01:51,067 --> 00:01:53,504
- Yeah, like that's a big
thing for me being tied up.
34
00:01:53,548 --> 00:01:56,072
And then having like multiple
girls, like two girls.
35
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,813
Maybe one like sitting on
my face and the other
36
00:01:57,856 --> 00:02:00,729
one like sitting on my dick,
that we kind of tight.
37
00:02:00,772 --> 00:02:04,211
- I'm a little light
on the BDSM stuff,
38
00:02:04,254 --> 00:02:05,864
you know, but I'm into it.
39
00:02:05,908 --> 00:02:07,823
- I am Brittany.
- I'm Mark Simon.
40
00:02:07,866 --> 00:02:09,041
- I'm Romane.
- Scott.
41
00:02:09,085 --> 00:02:10,086
- Flossy.
- Sonali.
42
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,305
- And this...
- And this...
43
00:02:11,348 --> 00:02:12,044
- And this...
- And this...
44
00:02:12,088 --> 00:02:14,525
And this is my sex life.
45
00:02:15,004 --> 00:02:16,701
- Take it or leave it.
46
00:02:21,489 --> 00:02:23,839
- Honey?
- Time to get up.
47
00:02:23,882 --> 00:02:25,406
- It is?
- Mm-hmm.
48
00:02:25,449 --> 00:02:26,842
- Why?
49
00:02:26,885 --> 00:02:30,237
- 'Cause we get on a plane
and go to San Francisco.
50
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:33,849
- Oh, yeah.
51
00:02:33,892 --> 00:02:36,199
- Excited?
- Yes.
52
00:02:36,243 --> 00:02:38,201
You know what's
in San Francisco?
53
00:02:38,245 --> 00:02:41,030
- Did you get enough sleep?
- No.
54
00:02:41,073 --> 00:02:45,556
That's what the plane's for.
- Right. Let's go.
55
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,602
- Okay. Let's go.
56
00:02:53,129 --> 00:02:55,000
- She wants us to bring all
the rope that we have, right?
57
00:02:55,044 --> 00:02:57,307
- Yes, sir.
- Okay.
58
00:02:59,004 --> 00:03:00,397
Look at that.
59
00:03:00,441 --> 00:03:04,009
Still tied up because we
haven't done any practice
60
00:03:04,053 --> 00:03:06,229
since we got the book.
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00:03:06,273 --> 00:03:08,405
So now that we get to go
down and see her and
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00:03:08,449 --> 00:03:11,408
get some hands-on teaching,
we'll actually have her sign
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00:03:11,452 --> 00:03:15,325
this book, she'll teach us
what we need to know.
64
00:03:20,896 --> 00:03:22,114
What else do we
need to bring?
65
00:03:22,158 --> 00:03:24,595
- Don't forget to
bring the flogger.
66
00:03:25,422 --> 00:03:27,250
I think that's gonna be
really good for us to have.
67
00:03:27,294 --> 00:03:28,686
- This one?
- Yes.
68
00:03:28,730 --> 00:03:30,079
- Okay.
69
00:03:30,122 --> 00:03:32,560
- That or that can be a
dominatrix and maybe our
70
00:03:32,603 --> 00:03:34,039
really nice paddle.
71
00:03:34,083 --> 00:03:35,606
- Paddle.
- There you go.
72
00:03:35,650 --> 00:03:37,173
- And what about the cane?
- I don't know.
73
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,870
You think we should
take that on the plane?
74
00:03:38,914 --> 00:03:41,699
Cane on a plane?
- Cane on a plane?
75
00:03:41,743 --> 00:03:44,398
Hey, I'll cane you on the plane.
- Cane on the plane.
76
00:03:44,441 --> 00:03:45,921
- Is that part of the
Mile-High Club if I cane you
77
00:03:45,964 --> 00:03:48,010
in the bathroom?
Is that part of it?
78
00:03:48,053 --> 00:03:49,446
You don't wanna go
through TSA with this?
79
00:03:49,490 --> 00:03:51,231
- No, I don't.
[ laugh ]
80
00:03:58,542 --> 00:04:01,415
- The term "Shibari" is to tie.
81
00:04:01,458 --> 00:04:04,592
It's Mr. and Mrs. [ inaudible ]
tying each other up,
82
00:04:04,635 --> 00:04:08,596
engaging in a romanticized
fantasy and having a good time.
83
00:04:09,118 --> 00:04:09,771
Fuck it.
84
00:04:13,383 --> 00:04:17,387
In Shibari, think of a
rope as an extension of the
85
00:04:17,431 --> 00:04:19,824
person's body.
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00:04:19,868 --> 00:04:23,828
I only have these hands and
these legs to wrap around you.
87
00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:29,181
But what if I had miles of
me to hold you down with.
88
00:04:34,709 --> 00:04:38,930
It really can feel like the rope
is an extension of desire,
89
00:04:38,974 --> 00:04:43,500
that the rope is an extension
of passion and want.
90
00:04:43,544 --> 00:04:50,855
And that particular flow and
desire, it's really seductive.
91
00:04:56,731 --> 00:04:59,342
- We're leaving foggy
and dreary Seattle for
92
00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:02,824
some sun in California.
93
00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:06,480
- Get ready to head out.
Get on a plane.
94
00:05:06,523 --> 00:05:08,395
- San Francisco, here we come.
95
00:05:27,457 --> 00:05:29,372
What's your
expectations for today?
96
00:05:29,416 --> 00:05:32,157
- Biggest challenge for me
is having been a sub for as
97
00:05:32,201 --> 00:05:34,682
long as I have and
transitioning and flipping
98
00:05:34,725 --> 00:05:38,381
that to a top, I'm that
part of the fear of like
99
00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:41,689
I haven't done it.
100
00:05:41,732 --> 00:05:43,212
Okay, what are
your expectations?
101
00:05:43,255 --> 00:05:45,693
- Same thing, I expect to learn
something about myself,
102
00:05:45,736 --> 00:05:49,784
something new and different
that I don't normally have.
103
00:05:49,827 --> 00:05:51,133
- That's a good answer.
104
00:05:51,176 --> 00:05:55,137
- Rope play could bring
people closer in their
105
00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:58,140
relationship if they're
willing to talk about what
106
00:05:58,183 --> 00:06:00,360
it is that they really want.
107
00:06:00,403 --> 00:06:03,493
But I want to emphasize the
communication.
108
00:06:03,537 --> 00:06:07,018
And I want to convey to them
about the point of this
109
00:06:07,062 --> 00:06:13,460
adventure, which is about shared
and co-created pleasure.
110
00:06:13,938 --> 00:06:15,984
- Here we are.
111
00:06:16,027 --> 00:06:17,507
- Hello.
- Hello.
112
00:06:17,551 --> 00:06:18,639
- Hello.
Welcome, welcome.
113
00:06:18,682 --> 00:06:20,249
- I'm Lady P.
- Hey.
114
00:06:20,292 --> 00:06:21,729
- And Remy.
Nice to meet you.
115
00:06:21,772 --> 00:06:23,295
- Nice to meet you.
Please come in.
116
00:06:23,339 --> 00:06:25,385
- Thank you.
- All right.
117
00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:27,430
Here we are.
How are you guys doing?
118
00:06:27,474 --> 00:06:28,431
- A little nervous.
- Yeah.
119
00:06:28,475 --> 00:06:29,345
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
120
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:30,738
- Yeah.
Excited, nervous.
121
00:06:30,781 --> 00:06:32,435
- Okay.
122
00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:36,265
So the objective here is
to get you some good solid
123
00:06:36,308 --> 00:06:40,095
skills so you can
do naked homework.
124
00:06:40,138 --> 00:06:42,140
- Okay.
- Thank you.
125
00:06:42,184 --> 00:06:43,881
That's a good reminder.
- Okay.
126
00:06:43,925 --> 00:06:45,448
- That helps me
be like okay.
127
00:06:45,492 --> 00:06:46,667
I don't have to be
perfect at this.
128
00:06:46,710 --> 00:06:47,842
- No, you're not.
129
00:06:47,885 --> 00:06:49,017
In fact, you're not
gonna be perfect.
130
00:06:49,060 --> 00:06:51,019
I always assign
naked homework.
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00:06:51,062 --> 00:06:52,324
Because in a teaching
environment,
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00:06:52,368 --> 00:06:53,587
there are certain
things that are really not
133
00:06:53,630 --> 00:06:55,327
appropriate to happen.
134
00:06:55,371 --> 00:06:57,982
For many, they get
really nervous.
135
00:06:58,026 --> 00:07:00,811
Oh, am I going to have
to do things like suck dick?
136
00:07:00,855 --> 00:07:03,466
Or am I going to have to
shag and fuck in front
137
00:07:03,510 --> 00:07:06,251
of the teacher?
I'm like, no.
138
00:07:06,295 --> 00:07:08,340
No, today we're practicing
for your receiving?
139
00:07:08,384 --> 00:07:09,646
- Yes.
- And you're casting?
140
00:07:09,690 --> 00:07:11,082
- Correct.
- Okay, great.
141
00:07:11,126 --> 00:07:15,347
When it's good for you,
what would I see in here?
142
00:07:15,391 --> 00:07:16,479
- I think it's probably
easier for me to describe
143
00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:17,959
when I'm not
having a good time.
144
00:07:18,002 --> 00:07:19,134
[ laugh ]
145
00:07:19,177 --> 00:07:20,352
- Oh, now do you see
a problem with that?
146
00:07:20,396 --> 00:07:22,485
- Yeah, this is
gonna be a challenge.
147
00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:26,489
- The only bad rope bondage
there is is when all people
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00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:28,796
are not having genuine fun.
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00:07:28,839 --> 00:07:33,322
This is for shagging,
love, romance and pleasure.
150
00:07:33,365 --> 00:07:37,631
I can give you the good
tools by which to navigate that.
151
00:07:37,674 --> 00:07:41,896
But I cannot tell you the
things you will encounter in
152
00:07:41,939 --> 00:07:44,028
your own adventure.
153
00:07:44,072 --> 00:07:45,203
- That's a good way to put it.
154
00:07:45,247 --> 00:07:46,204
- Choose your own
adventure book.
155
00:07:46,248 --> 00:07:47,379
- Right.
[ laugh ]
156
00:07:47,423 --> 00:07:48,990
- Mm-hmm.
157
00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:52,602
I often share an actual rope
bondage scene as opposed
158
00:07:52,646 --> 00:07:54,517
to a technical demonstration.
159
00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:58,129
I want people to understand the
emotional and intimate impact,
160
00:07:58,173 --> 00:07:59,914
the human impact, of this.
161
00:07:59,957 --> 00:08:02,003
- Hi.
162
00:08:03,352 --> 00:08:04,701
- I'm Remy.
- Hi. I'm Lux.
163
00:08:04,745 --> 00:08:06,050
- Nice to meet you.
- Pleased to meet you.
164
00:08:06,094 --> 00:08:07,487
- I'm Lady P.
- Hi. Lux.
165
00:08:07,530 --> 00:08:08,575
Pleased to meet you.
166
00:08:08,618 --> 00:08:10,185
- I want to keep
the technique simple.
167
00:08:10,228 --> 00:08:12,230
I'm gonna share with them
what a scene could look
168
00:08:12,274 --> 00:08:16,060
like with my fantastic
assistant.
169
00:08:16,104 --> 00:08:19,934
Okay, so in terms
of receiving rope,
170
00:08:19,977 --> 00:08:23,198
what is it about receiving
rope that you like?
171
00:08:23,241 --> 00:08:24,504
- Hmm.
172
00:08:24,547 --> 00:08:28,812
I love receiving rope
because of the dominant
173
00:08:28,856 --> 00:08:30,466
aspect of it for me.
174
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,033
- How are you feeling
today about a crotch rope?
175
00:08:32,076 --> 00:08:33,861
- Oh, yeah!
- Yeah?
176
00:08:33,904 --> 00:08:36,559
- I really like the
functional put me in my
177
00:08:36,603 --> 00:08:39,431
place kind of
attitude with rope.
178
00:08:39,475 --> 00:08:42,522
Use it to like really bind
me and restrict me
179
00:08:42,565 --> 00:08:46,700
so that I can wiggle,
but I can't get free.
180
00:08:48,223 --> 00:08:50,268
The things that I
really love with the rope,
181
00:08:50,312 --> 00:08:52,444
I have a great
connection with the top.
182
00:08:52,488 --> 00:08:56,666
And I can really feel
their power coming through.
183
00:08:57,232 --> 00:09:01,715
Also, I'm like restrictive
and helplessness is always fun.
184
00:09:05,632 --> 00:09:07,285
- So what happened with Lux?
185
00:09:07,329 --> 00:09:12,334
It's all about wrapping my
partner in my intention.
186
00:09:12,377 --> 00:09:14,597
So, you know, if you pull
your wrists up...
187
00:09:14,641 --> 00:09:17,034
- Oh...
[ laugh ]
188
00:09:17,078 --> 00:09:20,516
Whether devouring them,
shattering them, holding them,
189
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:28,176
loving them, my hands, my rope,
all of me vibrates
190
00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:30,439
through the rope.
191
00:09:30,482 --> 00:09:33,747
Conversely, their quivers
quiver through the rope
192
00:09:33,790 --> 00:09:36,010
into my hands.
193
00:09:36,053 --> 00:09:38,403
And when they want to
let go and surrender,
194
00:09:38,447 --> 00:09:40,841
it's my entire being
that's holding them.
195
00:09:40,884 --> 00:09:47,630
And if I'm cinching or if I'm
releasing or if I'm tightening,
196
00:09:47,674 --> 00:09:50,024
it is this duet.
197
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:53,375
- Please, Midori, please,
please, please, may I come?
198
00:09:53,418 --> 00:09:58,859
- Yes.
- Oh! Oh! Oh!
199
00:09:59,337 --> 00:10:01,949
- And she has an orgasm.
200
00:10:01,992 --> 00:10:03,603
- You're having even
more fun than she's having,
201
00:10:03,646 --> 00:10:06,910
which was-- I won't
say it surprised me.
202
00:10:06,954 --> 00:10:08,651
But, I mean, that's cool.
It's a dance.
203
00:10:08,695 --> 00:10:10,348
That's what it is.
It's more of a dance.
204
00:10:10,392 --> 00:10:11,654
- I think he says to
me halfway through it,
205
00:10:11,698 --> 00:10:13,047
he says, "Sure you
don't want to be bottom?"
206
00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:14,309
[ laughter ]
207
00:10:14,352 --> 00:10:16,224
- He knows how
much I love it, right?
208
00:10:16,267 --> 00:10:18,748
I was just like,
"No, I want to be the top."
209
00:10:18,792 --> 00:10:21,882
Like that's actually really hot.
210
00:10:21,925 --> 00:10:24,449
- You're gonna be top, eh?
- Yes, I am.
211
00:10:24,493 --> 00:10:29,367
- What level of attire or
non-attire are you wanting?
212
00:10:29,411 --> 00:10:32,022
- I'm good with the
attire I have on.
213
00:10:32,066 --> 00:10:34,329
- What about him?
214
00:10:34,372 --> 00:10:37,549
- I would like to see
him in his underwear.
215
00:10:37,593 --> 00:10:39,160
- So, here's the thing.
216
00:10:39,203 --> 00:10:44,600
If you're going to be topping,
do you make a request
217
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:49,474
that is wimpy?
[ chuckles ]
218
00:10:52,434 --> 00:10:54,305
- You gonna ask or
are you gonna tell?
219
00:10:54,349 --> 00:10:56,394
- I want you in
your underwear.
220
00:10:56,438 --> 00:10:58,875
That's what I want.
- Okay.
221
00:10:58,919 --> 00:11:00,834
- So you're gonna be
in your underwear.
222
00:11:00,877 --> 00:11:02,531
- All right.
[ laugh ]
223
00:11:02,574 --> 00:11:04,315
- For somebody like P,
who's going to be topping
224
00:11:04,359 --> 00:11:08,102
for the first time,
be clear and simple.
225
00:11:08,145 --> 00:11:10,408
- Right here.
- Okay.
226
00:11:10,452 --> 00:11:12,367
- Well, something's extending.
227
00:11:12,410 --> 00:11:15,413
Always remember that when
a person's experiencing joy,
228
00:11:15,457 --> 00:11:17,111
they're sex high.
229
00:11:17,154 --> 00:11:19,635
And when we're sex high,
we're stupid.
230
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,769
And if we're sex high and
stupid, keep it simple.
231
00:11:22,812 --> 00:11:25,815
Here's what I want you to do.
232
00:11:25,859 --> 00:11:28,600
Stroke that rope
across his body.
233
00:11:28,644 --> 00:11:30,733
You don't need
to tie anything.
234
00:11:30,777 --> 00:11:33,475
The rope is an
extension of your hands.
235
00:11:33,518 --> 00:11:37,000
The sensuality of rope
bondage comes down to touch.
236
00:11:37,044 --> 00:11:39,742
So if a person's
casting or topping,
237
00:11:39,786 --> 00:11:44,225
they're touching the
entire body of the person.
238
00:11:44,268 --> 00:11:48,620
The cinching of it,
the releasing of it,
239
00:11:48,664 --> 00:11:50,797
continual touch.
240
00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:53,756
There's a tactile sensuality
and there's a command
241
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:58,152
sensuality to it,
an assertiveness that is
242
00:11:58,195 --> 00:12:01,024
in service of joy.
243
00:12:01,068 --> 00:12:02,765
You're winding it
around his body.
244
00:12:02,809 --> 00:12:04,985
It can go
between his legs.
245
00:12:05,028 --> 00:12:07,683
- Is there anything
I should be doing?
246
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:10,033
Just enjoying it?
247
00:12:10,077 --> 00:12:12,296
- Enjoy and just
respond, and whatever it is,
248
00:12:12,340 --> 00:12:14,995
you reflect the way you are.
249
00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:18,520
It's all about the skin.
It's all about the muscles.
250
00:12:18,563 --> 00:12:21,697
Look, rope gives an
opportunity to cop a feel.
251
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:24,352
That's kind of hot.
252
00:12:24,395 --> 00:12:28,704
There.
So, where do you want him?
253
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:31,315
Because the thing to think
about in rope bondage is not
254
00:12:31,359 --> 00:12:33,840
how do I want to tie,
what are the knots?
255
00:12:33,883 --> 00:12:37,539
But what's the
utility of this position?
256
00:12:37,582 --> 00:12:39,802
Are you gonna
hop on his cock?
257
00:12:39,846 --> 00:12:42,065
Are you going to take
a ride on his face?
258
00:12:42,109 --> 00:12:45,286
Are you going to turn around
and go reverse cowgirl?
259
00:12:45,329 --> 00:12:48,550
What are we doing?
- Okay.
260
00:12:52,336 --> 00:12:54,817
- There are many, many
glorious tasty things that
261
00:12:54,861 --> 00:12:59,126
people get out of
being tied or tying.
262
00:13:00,562 --> 00:13:02,042
For some people,
it might be orgasm.
263
00:13:02,085 --> 00:13:05,045
Some people, it might be having
a meditative experience.
264
00:13:05,088 --> 00:13:09,832
Making a partner's fantasy
happen or a little rough sex,
265
00:13:09,876 --> 00:13:14,315
they get to play a little
evil villain in the bedroom.
266
00:13:15,142 --> 00:13:19,668
For the person being tied,
it can also be a stillness,
267
00:13:19,711 --> 00:13:24,020
of being so present in a way
that they've never actually
268
00:13:24,064 --> 00:13:27,328
noticed what their
skin feels like.
269
00:13:30,374 --> 00:13:36,424
Watching her unfold into her
power and watching the flow
270
00:13:36,467 --> 00:13:38,687
of pleasure happen between
those two--
271
00:13:38,730 --> 00:13:40,428
So if you wanted him to go
in the other direction,
272
00:13:40,471 --> 00:13:41,951
which hand would you use?
273
00:13:41,995 --> 00:13:45,302
For me to watch them stop
worrying if they're doing it
274
00:13:45,346 --> 00:13:48,262
right, that is like the
best thing that can happen.
275
00:13:48,305 --> 00:13:50,830
[ slap ]
Like that!
276
00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:55,835
[ chuckles ]
- I'm feeling hot.
277
00:13:57,184 --> 00:14:01,057
- In the undoing, you can
play as much as you like.
278
00:14:01,101 --> 00:14:05,757
You're creating
sensation with the undoing.
279
00:14:05,801 --> 00:14:09,239
To know that one belongs,
to be able to let go of
280
00:14:09,283 --> 00:14:12,895
responsibility and sink
into a sensuous pleasure,
281
00:14:12,939 --> 00:14:16,203
that is a sweet, sweet place.
282
00:14:17,682 --> 00:14:21,077
- Hi.
[ laugh ]
283
00:14:21,121 --> 00:14:23,950
- Hi.
- This is new.
284
00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:28,128
This is never before.
How are you feeling?
285
00:14:28,171 --> 00:14:32,697
- A light-headed,
a little fuzzy.
286
00:14:32,741 --> 00:14:33,916
- You look really happy.
287
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,179
- I feel like my
arms are still bound.
288
00:14:36,223 --> 00:14:38,921
I can feel like
they're still in.
289
00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:40,967
- Do you need me to
hug you and hold you?
290
00:14:41,010 --> 00:14:43,012
- No.
291
00:14:43,056 --> 00:14:45,232
I'm just regaining
my space here.
292
00:14:45,275 --> 00:14:47,495
- Okay.
293
00:14:51,325 --> 00:14:56,852
[ crying ]
294
00:15:18,395 --> 00:15:21,007
- I'll get you water.
295
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:40,156
Thank you.
296
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:42,202
- Thank you.
297
00:15:42,985 --> 00:15:45,205
- I love you.
298
00:15:56,433 --> 00:16:00,350
- Yeah, I didn't expect to
get so emotional at the end.
299
00:16:00,394 --> 00:16:02,787
So it was weird,
but it was cool.
300
00:16:02,831 --> 00:16:05,007
- I think that was the
moment when I was like,
301
00:16:05,051 --> 00:16:10,882
oh, this was
really powerful for us.
302
00:16:10,926 --> 00:16:12,623
To see you go
through that, I was like,
303
00:16:12,667 --> 00:16:15,452
oh, this is amazing!
304
00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:21,937
- Do you want to go
through the homework?
305
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:24,984
- Yeah.
306
00:16:25,549 --> 00:16:27,595
I think it's cool that she
said I was the only one to
307
00:16:27,638 --> 00:16:29,075
take notes in the book.
- To take notes in the book?
308
00:16:29,118 --> 00:16:30,554
- Uh-huh.
309
00:16:30,598 --> 00:16:32,730
- Naked homework means that
you and your partner are
310
00:16:32,774 --> 00:16:34,906
going to go back to whatever
you're most comfortable
311
00:16:34,950 --> 00:16:37,083
environment is.
312
00:16:37,126 --> 00:16:38,998
They have to actually
immediately jump in
313
00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:41,174
and practice.
314
00:16:41,217 --> 00:16:45,700
- What is it about the
rope bondage that you like?
315
00:16:45,743 --> 00:16:47,484
- Well, some of the things
I didn't think of I would like
316
00:16:47,528 --> 00:16:50,183
is the sensation of the rope
when you were bringing
317
00:16:50,226 --> 00:16:52,837
it across and wrapping
it around my body,
318
00:16:52,881 --> 00:16:54,883
and I could lightly feel it.
319
00:16:54,926 --> 00:16:57,190
I like being able to just
surrender and not have to
320
00:16:57,233 --> 00:16:59,061
think about what to do next.
321
00:16:59,105 --> 00:17:01,237
I don't want to think.
That's a favorite for me.
322
00:17:01,281 --> 00:17:02,717
So it's that type of
things that I--I
323
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:04,458
want to stop thinking.
324
00:17:04,501 --> 00:17:07,287
What about you?
- Being in control.
325
00:17:07,330 --> 00:17:11,465
I didn't realize that I
would like it as much as I did,
326
00:17:11,508 --> 00:17:13,075
which is good.
327
00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:16,861
I now have this new path to
go down and experience with you.
328
00:17:16,905 --> 00:17:18,341
Will you please
put my shoes on me?
329
00:17:18,385 --> 00:17:19,734
- No.
330
00:17:19,777 --> 00:17:20,909
You didn't ask
the right way.
331
00:17:20,952 --> 00:17:23,085
- Put my shoes on me!
332
00:17:23,129 --> 00:17:24,869
- What kind of mood
do we want today?
333
00:17:24,913 --> 00:17:28,482
- I would like to
ramp it up a little bit.
334
00:17:28,525 --> 00:17:30,527
It was playful and fun.
335
00:17:30,571 --> 00:17:33,095
I think you are still trying
to dip your toe in the water.
336
00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:37,534
I'd like to have you
a little bit more forceful.
337
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:40,233
- I want to get you
there and keep you there.
338
00:17:40,276 --> 00:17:42,887
Thank you for
describing that.
339
00:17:43,845 --> 00:17:48,763
Which color do you
think looks best on you?
340
00:17:48,806 --> 00:17:54,464
I think--
341
00:17:54,508 --> 00:17:56,814
I want to be able to
have him experience the
342
00:17:56,858 --> 00:18:00,992
same thing I experience
when I'm being bottomed.
343
00:18:01,515 --> 00:18:05,040
My thing is, I want to
be a good top for that,
344
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:08,478
to be able to help him
through that journey.
345
00:18:11,568 --> 00:18:15,398
Being dominant,
but yet at the same time,
346
00:18:15,442 --> 00:18:17,966
being caring about it.
347
00:18:18,009 --> 00:18:19,576
- May I touch you?
348
00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:22,144
- What are you
gonna have to say?
349
00:18:22,188 --> 00:18:25,626
- May I have some pussy, please?
- Yeah.
350
00:18:26,453 --> 00:18:27,758
I'm not just like,
351
00:18:27,802 --> 00:18:31,110
"I'm gonna make you
do what I want you to do!"
352
00:18:31,153 --> 00:18:35,505
I'm gonna make you do it, but I
want you to do it willingly.
353
00:18:39,030 --> 00:18:41,120
- Do it right there.
354
00:18:41,555 --> 00:18:43,383
- I like that I got into that,
got some space.
355
00:18:43,426 --> 00:18:45,167
Yeah, that was super hot.
356
00:18:45,211 --> 00:18:49,867
I'm still speechless in how
it's such a clearing house
357
00:18:49,911 --> 00:18:53,001
for whatever I had
going on in my head.
358
00:18:53,044 --> 00:18:55,569
So physically,
I was able to let go.
359
00:18:55,612 --> 00:18:57,005
You were like a kitten.
360
00:18:57,048 --> 00:18:58,789
- Oh, oh--
361
00:18:58,833 --> 00:19:01,662
- I could tell that
you were so deep into it
362
00:19:01,705 --> 00:19:06,232
and I was so happy for you.
363
00:19:07,668 --> 00:19:10,366
- My favorite part is
when you got like the super
364
00:19:10,410 --> 00:19:14,544
confidence that you got
when you're topping me.
365
00:19:14,588 --> 00:19:16,894
- Phew!
366
00:19:21,856 --> 00:19:23,379
- Well, that was a good
trip to San Francisco.
367
00:19:23,423 --> 00:19:26,252
- Awww--
368
00:19:26,948 --> 00:19:28,341
- Are you glad you
came, came again?
369
00:19:28,384 --> 00:19:30,995
- And again.
370
00:19:32,736 --> 00:19:34,216
Ding, ding, ding,
goes the trolley--
371
00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:35,783
- It's a kinky trolley.
372
00:19:35,826 --> 00:19:39,134
- Yeah, we wanna
make it that way.
373
00:19:39,613 --> 00:19:42,616
- I didn't expect this to be
that impactful on my body
374
00:19:42,659 --> 00:19:46,359
or my emotions or my mind,
my heart.
375
00:19:47,621 --> 00:19:49,840
- That was really powerful.
376
00:19:49,884 --> 00:19:51,755
Almost like wearing your
strap-on for the first time.
377
00:19:51,799 --> 00:19:53,496
[ laugh ]
378
00:19:53,540 --> 00:19:55,759
- Thank you, Midori.
- Thank you, Midori.
379
00:20:05,334 --> 00:20:07,249
- How would you
describe your sex life?
380
00:20:07,293 --> 00:20:10,557
- Active, but I'm
nervous talking about it.
381
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:11,862
- I have a good sex life.
382
00:20:11,906 --> 00:20:12,950
- Unreliable.
383
00:20:12,994 --> 00:20:14,387
- I could have
some more sex.
384
00:20:14,430 --> 00:20:16,519
- Uh, okay.
385
00:20:16,563 --> 00:20:18,913
- How would I
describe my sex life?
386
00:20:18,956 --> 00:20:20,393
- Woo!
387
00:20:20,436 --> 00:20:21,263
- Well, we're having sex
once a day and it is really
388
00:20:21,307 --> 00:20:23,352
helping with our marriage.
389
00:20:23,396 --> 00:20:24,745
- How would you
describe our sex life?
390
00:20:24,788 --> 00:20:26,094
- Delightful.
391
00:20:26,137 --> 00:20:27,269
- Fun.
392
00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:28,401
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
393
00:20:28,444 --> 00:20:29,532
- Yay.
394
00:20:29,576 --> 00:20:31,230
- I'd like three
times this morning.
395
00:20:31,273 --> 00:20:33,232
- I'm having sex
about twice a week.
396
00:20:33,275 --> 00:20:35,582
- I haven't done anything since
the second week of January.
397
00:20:35,625 --> 00:20:37,584
And now it's like, what, March?
398
00:20:37,627 --> 00:20:39,760
Feel like a born again virgin.
[ chuckles ]
399
00:20:39,803 --> 00:20:42,023
- I have never had sex before.
400
00:20:42,066 --> 00:20:43,851
- Sometimes I'm
having a lot of sex.
401
00:20:43,894 --> 00:20:45,418
Sometimes I'm not
having that much sex.
402
00:20:45,461 --> 00:20:49,248
- I feel like our sex life
has grown as we begin to
403
00:20:49,291 --> 00:20:50,771
trust each other.
404
00:20:50,814 --> 00:20:53,643
- I'm not as active as I was
when I was in my twenties.
405
00:20:53,687 --> 00:20:57,517
But physical love is
still just as sweet.
406
00:21:05,612 --> 00:21:08,354
- Ahhh--
407
00:21:12,140 --> 00:21:13,359
[ laughs ]
408
00:21:13,402 --> 00:21:17,145
- We're all experts
at intimacy avoidance.
409
00:21:17,928 --> 00:21:19,843
How do you connect to
someone when you spend so
410
00:21:19,887 --> 00:21:23,151
much time being disconnected?
411
00:21:23,630 --> 00:21:28,896
- Feel the feminine current that
starts to flow within you.
412
00:21:28,939 --> 00:21:33,204
- Let yourself
have fun with this!
413
00:21:33,683 --> 00:21:35,642
- Having intimacy, having
a sense of a real connection
414
00:21:35,685 --> 00:21:39,298
with another human being,
takes practice.
415
00:21:47,436 --> 00:21:48,916
- Hi.
- Hi, everyone.
416
00:21:48,959 --> 00:21:51,440
- Thank you, everyone, for
coming to Tantra Speed Date.
417
00:21:52,049 --> 00:21:54,269
This is going to be your
special pouch with beads.
418
00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:55,749
So you want to wear
that like a necklace,
419
00:21:55,792 --> 00:21:57,141
like I'm wearing mine.
- Thank you.
420
00:21:57,185 --> 00:21:58,360
- And then pick up
one of those cards.
421
00:21:58,404 --> 00:21:59,753
Follow the
instructions on the back.
422
00:21:59,796 --> 00:22:01,494
- Thank you so much, guys.
- Welcome.
423
00:22:01,537 --> 00:22:05,411
- We teach conscious sexuality
classes all around the world.
424
00:22:05,454 --> 00:22:09,371
And one of our most popular
classes is Tantra Speed Date.
425
00:22:09,415 --> 00:22:11,068
- Have you ever done any
kind of speed dating--
426
00:22:11,112 --> 00:22:12,331
- Never.
427
00:22:12,374 --> 00:22:13,984
- Oh, you're in for a treat.
[ laugh ]
428
00:22:14,028 --> 00:22:15,682
- We're gonna spoil you tonight.
Is that okay?
429
00:22:15,725 --> 00:22:17,161
- That's great.
430
00:22:17,205 --> 00:22:18,641
- Tantra Speed Date is not
about sexual connections.
431
00:22:18,685 --> 00:22:21,905
Singles get together
and practice mindfulness
432
00:22:21,949 --> 00:22:24,647
exercises with a dating
component.
433
00:22:24,691 --> 00:22:29,043
It's fun, it's energizing,
it's healing, it's beautiful.
434
00:22:29,086 --> 00:22:31,437
And everyone leaves
feeling full of love.
435
00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:33,700
- Welcome, everyone,
to Tantra Speed Date.
436
00:22:33,743 --> 00:22:36,833
Everybody take
a deep breath.
437
00:22:36,877 --> 00:22:39,532
- Ahhh--
438
00:22:40,097 --> 00:22:41,577
- So let us just
take a moment to hold
439
00:22:41,621 --> 00:22:44,145
an intention in our hearts
that everyone that came
440
00:22:44,188 --> 00:22:47,409
here tonight find whatever
it is that they seek.
441
00:22:47,453 --> 00:22:49,106
This is gonna be
our first game.
442
00:22:49,150 --> 00:22:51,848
It's a group game and
it's called Introduction.
443
00:22:51,892 --> 00:22:54,677
So tell us your name
and then why you're here.
444
00:22:54,721 --> 00:22:58,768
- My name is Kwabena.
I've done this once before.
445
00:22:58,812 --> 00:23:00,770
It was a phenomenal experience.
446
00:23:00,814 --> 00:23:03,947
I met great people,
good energy and why wouldn't
447
00:23:03,991 --> 00:23:05,514
you want to do
something like that again?
448
00:23:05,558 --> 00:23:08,778
- This is first speed dating
and I'm very curious person,
449
00:23:08,822 --> 00:23:10,214
so I'm very excited.
450
00:23:10,258 --> 00:23:11,912
- I'm a performance based
artist and I like to say
451
00:23:11,955 --> 00:23:15,481
I love speaking multiple
languages not just with words,
452
00:23:15,524 --> 00:23:19,659
but song, poetry, dance.
All are a form of language.
453
00:23:19,702 --> 00:23:22,357
Because I'm single,
I'm exploring all different
454
00:23:22,401 --> 00:23:24,751
options with regard
to meeting people.
455
00:23:24,794 --> 00:23:28,755
I was in a four-year
relationship and it wasn't
456
00:23:28,798 --> 00:23:30,539
a very healthy relationship.
457
00:23:30,583 --> 00:23:33,412
And I was not being honest
with myself about what
458
00:23:33,455 --> 00:23:37,111
I really wanted as a woman
from a partner since that
459
00:23:37,154 --> 00:23:39,026
relationship ended.
460
00:23:39,069 --> 00:23:41,898
It's been a continuous
journey and me saying yes
461
00:23:41,942 --> 00:23:45,380
to me and connecting with
people that I wouldn't normally
462
00:23:45,424 --> 00:23:47,469
think to connect with.
463
00:23:47,513 --> 00:23:49,993
- So I'm going to ask a few
women to take another step
464
00:23:50,037 --> 00:23:53,170
in and join hands
with your sisters.
465
00:23:53,214 --> 00:23:56,217
And I'm going to ask the men,
please join hands on
466
00:23:56,260 --> 00:23:58,088
the outside circle.
467
00:23:58,132 --> 00:24:01,831
Tonight as you step in to
hold the masculine pull,
468
00:24:01,875 --> 00:24:06,401
your mission is to create
a solid container for our
469
00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:10,100
ceremony to hold space for
this event and to hold
470
00:24:10,144 --> 00:24:12,494
space for the feminine.
471
00:24:12,538 --> 00:24:16,803
- For me, connection is
the life-giving experience
472
00:24:16,846 --> 00:24:21,503
that's really important to
establish human connection.
473
00:24:21,547 --> 00:24:25,333
And a lot of times, people
are swiping and you can't
474
00:24:25,376 --> 00:24:28,031
really get a sense of
how someone is with you.
475
00:24:28,075 --> 00:24:30,643
- So take a deep
breath into your heart and,
476
00:24:30,686 --> 00:24:33,123
on your exhale, send that
breath down the soles of
477
00:24:33,167 --> 00:24:36,126
your feet, down into
the center of the earth.
478
00:24:36,170 --> 00:24:40,304
Please open your eyes and
turn around and place your
479
00:24:40,348 --> 00:24:43,917
right hand on the heart of
the man in front of you.
480
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,180
We created this event,
which is, you know,
481
00:24:46,223 --> 00:24:49,183
geared as a dating event where
you learn relationship skills.
482
00:24:49,226 --> 00:24:51,751
In the process, you're
interacting and practicing
483
00:24:51,794 --> 00:24:53,274
those skills with a partner.
484
00:24:53,317 --> 00:24:56,538
- The first station is
our Mirroring Station.
485
00:24:56,582 --> 00:24:58,497
It will begin by
rubbing our hands together,
486
00:24:58,540 --> 00:25:01,369
rubbing your hands
together and--oh,
487
00:25:01,412 --> 00:25:02,849
faster, faster, faster.
488
00:25:02,892 --> 00:25:06,853
- You get to see how do
I react to these skills?
489
00:25:06,896 --> 00:25:08,419
How am I at learning
these skills?
490
00:25:08,463 --> 00:25:10,900
And how is my partner at
learning these skills?
491
00:25:10,944 --> 00:25:13,555
And do we have a chemistry
when we're working together?
492
00:25:13,599 --> 00:25:15,078
- Harder, harder,
harder, and stop!
493
00:25:15,122 --> 00:25:16,645
Put your hands facing your
partner as if you're looking
494
00:25:16,689 --> 00:25:18,908
at a mirror image of each other.
495
00:25:18,952 --> 00:25:20,910
Women, you can move
any way you want.
496
00:25:20,954 --> 00:25:23,522
Men, mirror her movements.
497
00:25:23,565 --> 00:25:24,653
- I'm Lillian.
498
00:25:24,697 --> 00:25:25,915
I have a fairly
new dating history.
499
00:25:25,959 --> 00:25:28,483
I was in a relationship
for eight years.
500
00:25:28,527 --> 00:25:32,095
And then I've been single
for like a year and a half.
501
00:25:32,139 --> 00:25:35,969
I tried dating app
for the first time.
502
00:25:36,012 --> 00:25:37,579
When you meet up
on a dating app,
503
00:25:37,623 --> 00:25:40,887
you're meeting to sit down
for tea or coffee or drinks
504
00:25:40,930 --> 00:25:42,279
or whatever to
determine if you want to
505
00:25:42,323 --> 00:25:43,846
have sex with the person.
[ laugh ]
506
00:25:43,890 --> 00:25:47,807
Like that's kind of right
away sort of on everyone's mind.
507
00:25:48,242 --> 00:25:51,419
- If your partner is smiling,
you're doing it right!
508
00:25:51,462 --> 00:25:53,682
- And in this kind of a
situation, it's more like
509
00:25:53,726 --> 00:25:58,426
how do our energies
vibrate with each other?
510
00:25:59,383 --> 00:26:01,821
- All right, and at some point,
your mirroring will find
511
00:26:01,864 --> 00:26:04,606
you mirroring each
other back into hands and
512
00:26:04,650 --> 00:26:07,130
now must stay.
- Oh, so fun!
513
00:26:08,131 --> 00:26:12,135
I came here tonight
because I am opening myself
514
00:26:12,179 --> 00:26:15,399
up to finding my life partner.
515
00:26:15,443 --> 00:26:17,445
You got like the rock
star thing going on too.
516
00:26:17,488 --> 00:26:18,620
That was like--
- Oh, yeah, with the little--
517
00:26:18,664 --> 00:26:20,230
- Yeah.
518
00:26:20,274 --> 00:26:24,365
I get to explore and I get to
stretch beyond my comfort zone.
519
00:26:24,408 --> 00:26:28,195
- Men, close your eyes.
Women, reaching for beads.
520
00:26:28,238 --> 00:26:29,675
- The women choose.
521
00:26:29,718 --> 00:26:31,459
If a woman has interacted
with a man that she wants
522
00:26:31,502 --> 00:26:34,767
to connect with again,
she will take one of her
523
00:26:34,810 --> 00:26:39,032
beads from her
pouch and place it in his pouch.
524
00:26:39,075 --> 00:26:40,120
- Sit down.
525
00:26:40,163 --> 00:26:43,166
I hope you remember how to play.
526
00:26:43,732 --> 00:26:49,216
So as you hold hands, you can
lean backwards and forwards.
527
00:26:49,999 --> 00:26:54,308
But feel how good it feels to
play backwards and forwards.
528
00:26:54,351 --> 00:26:56,702
- I got so connected
to my inner child.
529
00:26:56,745 --> 00:26:59,835
And I just became
such a fun experience, you know,
530
00:26:59,879 --> 00:27:02,621
with this person that I had
never even met before.
531
00:27:02,664 --> 00:27:04,710
Then just be laughing and
just enjoying each other's
532
00:27:04,753 --> 00:27:07,277
presence, it was beautiful.
533
00:27:07,887 --> 00:27:13,936
[ laughter ]
534
00:27:13,980 --> 00:27:15,329
People don't
talk to each other.
535
00:27:15,372 --> 00:27:16,678
They don't know
how to communicate.
536
00:27:16,722 --> 00:27:18,985
[ laughter ]
537
00:27:19,028 --> 00:27:22,684
So actually, intentionally
creating experiences that
538
00:27:22,728 --> 00:27:27,733
allow for that, that kind of
connection is so important.
539
00:27:27,776 --> 00:27:31,214
- I see that your joy
is ecstatic dance,
540
00:27:31,258 --> 00:27:36,350
and my joy is doing yoga.
541
00:27:36,916 --> 00:27:40,006
- You can get on a subway
and be this close to
542
00:27:40,049 --> 00:27:43,574
100 people in a tiny box and
manage to not make eye
543
00:27:43,618 --> 00:27:46,839
contact with a single person.
544
00:27:48,362 --> 00:27:50,103
- This is such a different
experience than meeting
545
00:27:50,146 --> 00:27:51,974
someone off of a dating app.
546
00:27:52,018 --> 00:27:56,718
Being able to be guided in
the way in which we got
547
00:27:56,762 --> 00:28:00,156
to connect, making
eye contact and touching each
548
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:03,725
other and laughing together
and playing together,
549
00:28:03,769 --> 00:28:07,250
there was the presence of
something really special
550
00:28:07,294 --> 00:28:10,340
that I haven't experienced
in dating before.
551
00:28:10,950 --> 00:28:13,561
- Aahh--
552
00:28:13,604 --> 00:28:16,390
- Make yourself
as cozy as you desire.
553
00:28:16,433 --> 00:28:19,523
The idea is to think of him
as the ultimate teddy bear
554
00:28:19,567 --> 00:28:23,179
and ask for what you want.
[ laugh ]
555
00:28:23,658 --> 00:28:26,226
- I want to be held right now.
556
00:28:29,403 --> 00:28:30,752
- Women, I invite
you to take a deep breath
557
00:28:30,796 --> 00:28:34,408
into your feminine presence.
558
00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:39,674
Allow a vision of your
future self to come to you.
559
00:28:39,718 --> 00:28:44,244
I invite you to imagine how
your future self might be.
560
00:28:44,287 --> 00:28:48,074
If you had access to this
type of masculine presence
561
00:28:48,117 --> 00:28:52,121
from every man,
how would your future self be?
562
00:28:54,645 --> 00:28:59,346
What kind of world
together we could create?
563
00:29:02,958 --> 00:29:05,047
- The truth is that
practicing connection is
564
00:29:05,091 --> 00:29:07,484
a skill and we're not taught.
565
00:29:07,528 --> 00:29:09,356
- Thank you.
566
00:29:10,574 --> 00:29:12,838
- Real human connection,
vulnerable connection,
567
00:29:12,881 --> 00:29:16,711
and to be able to be
authentic with each other is
568
00:29:16,755 --> 00:29:19,279
just a beautiful thing.
569
00:29:19,714 --> 00:29:22,412
- I invite you to imagine
this woman that you hold
570
00:29:22,456 --> 00:29:26,677
in your arms was
once a little girl.
571
00:29:28,854 --> 00:29:31,595
- He had such a strong
presence and I felt like
572
00:29:31,639 --> 00:29:32,988
I could just let myself go.
573
00:29:33,032 --> 00:29:36,513
And I started crying and
I wasn't expecting that.
574
00:29:37,645 --> 00:29:40,779
- And we'll take three
more breaths in this pose.
575
00:29:45,131 --> 00:29:47,002
I want to thank the
men for making this energy
576
00:29:47,046 --> 00:29:49,788
available to us tonight.
577
00:30:01,712 --> 00:30:06,195
[ music ]
578
00:30:06,500 --> 00:30:08,023
- Stripping is awesome.
579
00:30:08,067 --> 00:30:11,113
It's basically just dancing
and they happen to not have
580
00:30:11,157 --> 00:30:12,201
their clothes on.
581
00:30:12,245 --> 00:30:13,855
So what's the big deal?
582
00:30:13,899 --> 00:30:15,291
- Oh, we love strippers--
- Oh, yes,--
583
00:30:15,335 --> 00:30:18,120
- We've been to numerous
strip clubs, or just one.
584
00:30:18,164 --> 00:30:20,383
You have only been in one?
- I don't know.
585
00:30:20,427 --> 00:30:21,776
Yeah, I know, we like strippers.
- We like strippers.
586
00:30:21,820 --> 00:30:23,604
- I think if a guy stripped
for me, that would be
587
00:30:23,647 --> 00:30:25,954
really interesting.
I've had it happen once.
588
00:30:25,998 --> 00:30:27,129
- Pole dancing?
589
00:30:27,173 --> 00:30:29,088
I'd be so down for
it if I had any rhythm
590
00:30:29,131 --> 00:30:31,351
or strength in any of this.
591
00:30:31,394 --> 00:30:32,482
- I strip for girls
all the time.
592
00:30:32,526 --> 00:30:33,657
Like I walk around naked.
593
00:30:33,701 --> 00:30:34,745
I've always been
the dude to like take
594
00:30:34,789 --> 00:30:36,399
my shirt off and stuff,
you know.
595
00:30:36,443 --> 00:30:38,358
I'm super down to strip, yeah.
I'll strip.
596
00:30:38,401 --> 00:30:40,142
Shoot, I'll strip right now.
Y'all wanna see something?
597
00:30:40,186 --> 00:30:42,014
[ laugh ]
598
00:30:43,711 --> 00:30:47,889
[ music ]
599
00:30:51,066 --> 00:30:54,896
- Women come here...
600
00:30:54,940 --> 00:30:57,812
carrying a lot
of responsibilities,
601
00:30:57,856 --> 00:31:00,554
spending all their time
folding the fuckin' laundry.
602
00:31:00,597 --> 00:31:05,037
Life is dull and
it is an infinite expanse
603
00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:07,822
of folding laundry.
604
00:31:07,866 --> 00:31:14,350
And they come here
and they are part of this world
605
00:31:14,394 --> 00:31:20,139
and this community
that is this magical sisterhood
606
00:31:20,182 --> 00:31:26,101
of being seen, of being heard.
607
00:31:56,740 --> 00:32:03,791
- The Strip Cabin is an event
that I hold for women only.
608
00:32:03,834 --> 00:32:05,532
And women from
all walks of life,
609
00:32:05,575 --> 00:32:09,057
from all over the world,
come together for a weekend
610
00:32:09,101 --> 00:32:12,974
of total freedom to be the
woman that they really
611
00:32:13,018 --> 00:32:17,413
are inside with no concerns
about impressing their boss,
612
00:32:17,457 --> 00:32:19,241
their mom, their grandma.
613
00:32:19,285 --> 00:32:22,114
It's a place that women can
come and strip down all
614
00:32:22,157 --> 00:32:26,205
the limiting narratives that
they tell themselves and
615
00:32:26,248 --> 00:32:28,903
just open up and be who
they really are and who they
616
00:32:28,947 --> 00:32:29,948
really want to be.
617
00:32:42,873 --> 00:32:45,006
- What are you looking
forward to for this weekend?
618
00:32:45,050 --> 00:32:47,966
- I'm looking forward to
like getting sexy with
619
00:32:48,009 --> 00:32:49,315
a bunch of women.
620
00:32:49,358 --> 00:32:50,881
I think that'll be fun.
621
00:32:50,925 --> 00:32:52,840
I don't get to do
that that often.
622
00:32:52,883 --> 00:32:56,539
When I hang out with my friends,
I'm not like putting on sexy
623
00:32:56,583 --> 00:32:59,629
clothes and spinning around
on poles and dancing.
624
00:32:59,673 --> 00:33:01,327
What if I come home
with a girlfriend?
625
00:33:01,370 --> 00:33:03,764
- Okay.
- Okay.
626
00:33:03,807 --> 00:33:05,287
- I get it, yeah.
627
00:33:05,331 --> 00:33:07,333
I mean, you'd probably let
me know before you get home.
628
00:33:07,376 --> 00:33:09,770
- I will.
- Okay.
629
00:33:10,510 --> 00:33:13,034
- The past year was really
challenging with my husband
630
00:33:13,078 --> 00:33:16,777
being sick, me becoming like
the primary breadwinner.
631
00:33:16,820 --> 00:33:20,650
We were in and out of
hospitals and he's finally
632
00:33:20,694 --> 00:33:22,435
getting better.
633
00:33:22,478 --> 00:33:25,568
And I feel like I can take
some time for myself to
634
00:33:25,612 --> 00:33:30,530
just go have this really
awesome adventure.
635
00:33:30,573 --> 00:33:33,098
One of the things I'm really
hoping to gain out of this
636
00:33:33,141 --> 00:33:37,798
experience is being more
confident and comfortable
637
00:33:37,841 --> 00:33:39,713
in my own body.
638
00:33:39,756 --> 00:33:42,063
Yes!
I did it!
639
00:33:42,107 --> 00:33:44,587
Respect a goddess
when you see one,
640
00:33:44,631 --> 00:33:47,503
especially in the mirror.
641
00:33:48,113 --> 00:33:52,117
Strip has a double meaning,
so while you are here,
642
00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:57,252
you will see a lot
of literal stripping.
643
00:33:58,949 --> 00:34:03,084
But it is also a metaphor
for a greater stripping down
644
00:34:03,128 --> 00:34:08,524
of the walls that we
erect around ourselves.
645
00:34:09,047 --> 00:34:11,310
Because most of us
feel all these feelings,
646
00:34:11,353 --> 00:34:14,008
emotions and thoughts and we
close the doors in front of
647
00:34:14,052 --> 00:34:16,880
that so that we don't
draw attention to ourselves,
648
00:34:16,924 --> 00:34:19,361
so that we don't look stupid.
649
00:34:20,319 --> 00:34:22,756
Pretty cool, right?
650
00:34:22,799 --> 00:34:24,627
Someone coming to Strip
Cabin for the first time,
651
00:34:24,671 --> 00:34:26,629
the general feeling is,
652
00:34:26,673 --> 00:34:33,767
"Ah, I'm scared. Damn it!
Let's do this."
653
00:34:33,810 --> 00:34:37,031
- Two days.
Love you, Babe.
654
00:34:37,075 --> 00:34:39,120
- All right.
I love you too.
655
00:34:39,164 --> 00:34:41,427
- I want to have an
experience that it's kind of
656
00:34:41,470 --> 00:34:44,952
like a dream, but it's
real and it's happening.
657
00:34:44,995 --> 00:34:49,217
And I get to show up and
just be a part of it and
658
00:34:49,261 --> 00:34:53,352
find new parts of myself
that don't get to come out
659
00:34:53,395 --> 00:34:54,570
very often.
660
00:34:54,614 --> 00:34:57,356
All right, I'm on my
way to pick up Abi.
661
00:34:57,399 --> 00:34:58,835
I'm excited to meet her.
662
00:34:58,879 --> 00:35:01,795
Because she's been before
and I kind of want to pick
663
00:35:01,838 --> 00:35:05,059
her brain a little about
what it was like for her.
664
00:35:05,103 --> 00:35:06,626
Because it was
clearly good enough for
665
00:35:06,669 --> 00:35:08,497
her to want to go back.
666
00:35:08,541 --> 00:35:11,283
I see Abi!
I see her!
667
00:35:11,326 --> 00:35:13,850
Uh-oh, wait.
668
00:35:19,204 --> 00:35:21,597
Hello!
- Hi!
669
00:35:21,641 --> 00:35:23,773
- How are you?
- I'm good.
670
00:35:23,817 --> 00:35:27,560
It's good to meet you!
- I love your hair!
671
00:35:27,603 --> 00:35:29,257
- I love your hair!
- Oh, my gosh!
672
00:35:29,301 --> 00:35:31,303
And your nose ring!
How was your flight?
673
00:35:31,346 --> 00:35:32,826
- It was good.
I slept.
674
00:35:32,869 --> 00:35:34,654
- Oh, good.
675
00:35:36,134 --> 00:35:38,614
Could you tell me a little
bit about what it's like
676
00:35:38,658 --> 00:35:41,748
or what to expect?
677
00:35:41,791 --> 00:35:43,619
- Nudity.
- Okay.
678
00:35:43,663 --> 00:35:46,883
- First and foremost,
there will be tits.
679
00:35:46,927 --> 00:35:49,321
- So why do you
like to go back again?
680
00:35:49,364 --> 00:35:51,845
- I found a confidence
I never thought I would.
681
00:35:51,888 --> 00:35:53,107
- Wow.
682
00:35:53,151 --> 00:35:54,630
- Which was weird
for me because I thought
683
00:35:54,674 --> 00:35:56,197
I was good
on that department.
684
00:35:56,241 --> 00:35:58,547
My first retreat
changed my life completely.
685
00:35:58,591 --> 00:36:03,073
I wasn't expecting to
have this like aha moment
686
00:36:03,117 --> 00:36:05,554
or enlightenment, if you will.
687
00:36:05,598 --> 00:36:08,949
I went home and
I quit my job.
688
00:36:08,992 --> 00:36:14,563
And I broke up with my boyfriend
and I enrolled in school.
689
00:36:14,607 --> 00:36:17,000
And everything
changed for me.
690
00:36:17,044 --> 00:36:19,307
It was super positive,
super happy.
691
00:36:19,351 --> 00:36:26,140
My biggest challenge this
time around would be to really,
692
00:36:26,184 --> 00:36:28,969
really let go of some
of that extremely deep stuff
693
00:36:29,012 --> 00:36:31,711
that I don't want
in my life anymore.
694
00:36:31,754 --> 00:36:33,669
I'm looking to get rid of
that and I think I can do
695
00:36:33,713 --> 00:36:35,715
it this weekend.
696
00:36:45,855 --> 00:36:48,162
- Most will know
me as Lux ATL,
697
00:36:48,206 --> 00:36:51,034
but before there
was ever a Lux,
698
00:36:51,078 --> 00:36:52,993
there was a little girl
named Lindsay Burton from
699
00:36:53,036 --> 00:36:55,256
Danville, Virginia.
700
00:36:55,300 --> 00:36:57,432
And I don't know if
you ever been there,
701
00:36:57,476 --> 00:37:02,263
but if you rearrange the
letters, it spells Eviland
702
00:37:02,307 --> 00:37:05,310
and that's apt.
703
00:37:06,049 --> 00:37:10,619
And you know what I was good at?
That was school.
704
00:37:10,663 --> 00:37:12,839
So I thought,
"Well, hell, let me get a bunch
705
00:37:12,882 --> 00:37:14,754
of degrees in English
and, that way,
706
00:37:14,797 --> 00:37:17,365
I won't have to face
the adult world and,
707
00:37:17,409 --> 00:37:19,933
at the end of this road,
I'll have a doctor in front
708
00:37:19,976 --> 00:37:21,500
of my name."
709
00:37:21,543 --> 00:37:24,503
You know what?
That's what I really wanted.
710
00:37:24,546 --> 00:37:27,332
At the same time, I had
developed some notoriety
711
00:37:27,375 --> 00:37:33,729
on the internet as Lux ATL
with my pole dancing videos.
712
00:37:34,904 --> 00:37:41,084
I did not even know
exactly what I wanted to be,
713
00:37:41,128 --> 00:37:42,651
but I'll tell you what
I didn't want to be,
714
00:37:42,695 --> 00:37:45,567
and that was in an
office with no windows.
715
00:37:45,959 --> 00:37:49,919
Hello!
- Yay!
716
00:37:51,573 --> 00:37:55,795
- And that's how a little
country girl from Danville and
717
00:37:55,838 --> 00:37:59,973
former university
instructor and lifelong stripper
718
00:38:00,016 --> 00:38:03,759
started hosting all women events
in a cabin in Tennessee.
719
00:38:04,107 --> 00:38:07,459
- Hello!
- Hi!
720
00:38:08,111 --> 00:38:12,464
- Humping, humping,
humping, humping!
721
00:38:12,855 --> 00:38:17,425
- Hi!
I'm so happy you're here.
722
00:38:20,167 --> 00:38:21,821
- You're gonna have a blast!
- Oh, my gosh!
723
00:38:21,864 --> 00:38:23,257
It's so cute!
724
00:38:23,301 --> 00:38:24,824
- Party starts at eight,
so that's when you wanna
725
00:38:24,867 --> 00:38:26,129
be sexy, sexy.
726
00:38:26,173 --> 00:38:28,741
Okay, okay, and then
we're gonna dance.
727
00:38:28,784 --> 00:38:31,134
- Ooh!
728
00:38:31,178 --> 00:38:33,311
I gotta learn
your booty moves!
729
00:38:33,354 --> 00:38:34,877
- I got you!
- Oh, wow.
730
00:38:34,921 --> 00:38:37,358
- 110%, I got you.
731
00:38:37,402 --> 00:38:39,055
- You get home, your
husband is gonna be like,
732
00:38:39,099 --> 00:38:42,145
"So how many more
retreats can we go to?"
733
00:38:42,189 --> 00:38:44,278
[ laugh ]
734
00:38:46,715 --> 00:38:48,456
- One choice.
- So this is it?
735
00:38:48,500 --> 00:38:50,023
- That's the back.
736
00:38:50,066 --> 00:38:52,242
- It's very difficult to
love and accept yourself
737
00:38:52,286 --> 00:38:54,723
in today's world,
especially as a female,
738
00:38:54,767 --> 00:38:57,944
because of all of the
messages that we receive
739
00:38:57,987 --> 00:39:02,122
from our surrounding society
and from media itself.
740
00:39:02,165 --> 00:39:04,907
It's empowering to be
here at Strip Cabin because
741
00:39:04,951 --> 00:39:08,346
everyone is very, very
accepting of each other here.
742
00:39:09,259 --> 00:39:11,174
- Oo-la-la!
743
00:39:11,218 --> 00:39:12,698
- No, you don't
have to be a stripper.
744
00:39:12,741 --> 00:39:14,787
You don't have
to be a dancer.
745
00:39:14,830 --> 00:39:17,790
You don't have to be anything
to come to these retreats,
746
00:39:17,833 --> 00:39:19,182
and that's the beauty of it.
747
00:39:19,226 --> 00:39:21,707
It's for everybody truly.
748
00:39:22,011 --> 00:39:24,449
- I'm looking forward to
some of the people who have
749
00:39:24,492 --> 00:39:26,842
been here before
showing me the moves.
750
00:39:26,886 --> 00:39:29,497
- I'm just here to have fun,
get away from the family,
751
00:39:29,541 --> 00:39:32,413
have just a ladies weekend.
752
00:39:32,457 --> 00:39:36,765
I'm looking forward to learning
how to bring out my sexy.
753
00:39:37,375 --> 00:39:40,160
- The entire message is
about accept yourself the
754
00:39:40,203 --> 00:39:41,248
way you are.
755
00:39:41,291 --> 00:39:42,815
And love yourself
the way you are.
756
00:39:42,858 --> 00:39:45,383
And don't compare
yourself to anyone else.
757
00:39:45,426 --> 00:39:47,863
- I'm ready.
- And it's just really fun.
758
00:39:47,907 --> 00:39:50,518
It's really fun to dress up.
Makes us feel good.
759
00:39:51,171 --> 00:39:52,520
- You know what?
760
00:39:52,564 --> 00:39:56,219
I think that Orianna
Grande was right.
761
00:39:56,263 --> 00:39:58,700
God is a woman!
762
00:39:59,397 --> 00:40:05,751
[ music ]
763
00:40:05,794 --> 00:40:11,409
- The newbies are 100%
ready to fucking go.
764
00:40:11,452 --> 00:40:14,020
They are feeling
themselves, they're excited,
765
00:40:14,063 --> 00:40:15,761
they're so stoked.
766
00:40:15,804 --> 00:40:20,461
I mean, I guarantee that tonight
is gonna be a very good one.
767
00:40:20,505 --> 00:40:23,159
I know Leah is
gonna be letting loose,
768
00:40:23,203 --> 00:40:24,683
and you know what?
769
00:40:24,726 --> 00:40:27,337
I think I'm gonna have to
teach her a little something
770
00:40:27,381 --> 00:40:29,035
or other on the pole.
771
00:40:29,078 --> 00:40:30,384
How about that?
772
00:40:31,167 --> 00:40:33,474
- So how you feeling?
Are you getting nervous?
773
00:40:33,518 --> 00:40:34,606
Are you excited?
774
00:40:34,649 --> 00:40:35,998
- I'm really excited.
775
00:40:36,042 --> 00:40:39,915
I feel less nervous,
but still a little nervous.
776
00:40:40,568 --> 00:40:42,657
- I'm excited for you.
You're gonna have fun.
777
00:40:42,701 --> 00:40:43,528
It's really a blast.
778
00:40:43,571 --> 00:40:48,707
- Howdy, howdy, howdy!
Hi!
779
00:40:51,274 --> 00:40:54,277
It's Strip Cabin time!
780
00:40:55,931 --> 00:40:57,933
If you are in the
mood for Strip Cabin,
781
00:40:57,977 --> 00:40:59,457
let me hear you say Amen!
782
00:40:59,500 --> 00:41:02,460
- Amen!
- Amen!
783
00:41:02,503 --> 00:41:06,464
Huggies, huggies.
Aw, beauty.
784
00:41:06,507 --> 00:41:09,467
So the first night, women
are really getting to know
785
00:41:09,510 --> 00:41:11,817
each other through this party.
786
00:41:11,860 --> 00:41:14,341
Most women will,
at some point,
787
00:41:14,384 --> 00:41:16,082
get up and dance.
788
00:41:16,125 --> 00:41:21,566
Most women will end up
in some level of undress,
789
00:41:21,609 --> 00:41:24,090
even the ones who
say they never would.
790
00:41:24,133 --> 00:41:26,353
So, my friends, I'm so
happy that you're here.
791
00:41:26,396 --> 00:41:31,532
This is the Amy show, my
sweet little homie from Nola.
792
00:41:31,576 --> 00:41:34,622
This is the Lexie show which
is a goddamned good one!
793
00:41:34,666 --> 00:41:36,537
[ laughter ]
794
00:41:36,581 --> 00:41:39,932
- A woman like me,
you see, we are just the same.
795
00:41:39,975 --> 00:41:45,415
This world cannot stop us.
Going hard with no shame!
796
00:41:45,459 --> 00:41:50,420
So when you look at me and
you see something great,
797
00:41:50,464 --> 00:41:54,555
know that I am looking back
and I'm thinking the same thing.
798
00:41:54,599 --> 00:41:59,212
So when you look
at me, baby girl, see you.
799
00:41:59,255 --> 00:42:01,388
Here's to you!
Strip Cabin!
800
00:42:01,431 --> 00:42:04,478
- Woo!
801
00:42:04,522 --> 00:42:09,004
[ music ]
802
00:42:09,048 --> 00:42:11,224
- Live!
803
00:42:11,267 --> 00:42:15,620
Live, Jessica Rabbit,
live your life!
804
00:42:31,505 --> 00:42:33,463
- Regina's a good one.
- I saw her.
805
00:42:33,507 --> 00:42:36,162
- Can you show her how
you man handle the pole?
806
00:42:52,874 --> 00:42:56,008
- I don't know how
to do anything.
807
00:42:56,661 --> 00:43:00,186
- Stripping at Strip Cabin
can be exhilarating for women
808
00:43:00,229 --> 00:43:02,754
who have never done
anything like that before.
809
00:43:02,797 --> 00:43:08,194
It is very liberating
and it's almost like you're
810
00:43:08,237 --> 00:43:11,197
shedding fear.
811
00:43:11,937 --> 00:43:14,069
- The first time
I got on the pole,
812
00:43:14,113 --> 00:43:18,421
I was thinking
I might fall on my face.
813
00:43:18,465 --> 00:43:20,554
- And slide your
hands down at your hips.
814
00:43:20,598 --> 00:43:23,818
Go side to side.
Yeah!
815
00:43:25,167 --> 00:43:28,562
- I decided I
would give it my all.
816
00:43:28,606 --> 00:43:31,043
- And a gentle little pivot--
- Then go pivot.
817
00:43:31,086 --> 00:43:33,785
- See what happens?
- Then pull up. Okay.
818
00:43:33,828 --> 00:43:35,700
- If you can hold
yourself like that, you're good.
819
00:43:35,743 --> 00:43:38,224
- Yes!
Yes!
820
00:43:38,267 --> 00:43:41,096
- Woo!
- Yes.
821
00:43:41,140 --> 00:43:44,273
[ cheers ]
822
00:43:48,190 --> 00:43:52,412
[ overlapping chatter ]
823
00:43:53,282 --> 00:43:56,024
- Yes!
Yes, bitch!
824
00:43:56,068 --> 00:43:59,071
[ cheering ]
825
00:43:59,114 --> 00:44:01,508
I think this one's
got explaining to do!
826
00:44:01,551 --> 00:44:04,163
[ laughter ]
827
00:44:05,599 --> 00:44:14,477
[ music ]
828
00:44:25,227 --> 00:44:27,273
- Oh, my gosh, really?
829
00:44:29,667 --> 00:44:32,060
- Boobs on boobs.
- Woo!
830
00:44:33,409 --> 00:44:36,369
- This is blowing my mind.
831
00:44:37,283 --> 00:44:39,981
- Boobs on boobs.
Boobs on boobs.
832
00:44:40,025 --> 00:44:41,417
- I like that.
833
00:44:41,461 --> 00:44:46,596
It's been an amazing experience
of being around some
834
00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:48,642
incredibly beautiful beings
835
00:44:48,686 --> 00:44:52,472
that are very comfortable
in their body.
836
00:44:53,125 --> 00:44:57,520
- Baby's gonna
go down on you!
837
00:44:57,564 --> 00:45:00,436
- I'll usually kick
off this party just like in
838
00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:02,177
the olden days.
839
00:45:02,221 --> 00:45:07,008
This is not cutesy,
performative, no.
840
00:45:07,052 --> 00:45:11,883
Like I'm me as a
stripper, the real deal.
841
00:45:13,362 --> 00:45:19,325
[ music ]
842
00:45:22,807 --> 00:45:25,723
I'm putting boobs
in peoples' faces, okay?
843
00:45:27,289 --> 00:45:29,901
I'm rolling around the floor.
844
00:45:35,907 --> 00:45:38,431
- I'm still speechless.
845
00:45:44,306 --> 00:45:46,308
I don't know
where to put my hands.
846
00:45:46,352 --> 00:45:47,832
What do I do with my hands?
847
00:45:47,875 --> 00:45:49,572
I kind of wanna touch her,
but maybe I'm not supposed to.
848
00:45:49,616 --> 00:45:52,227
And she just kind of took over.
849
00:46:02,498 --> 00:46:05,240
She's incredible.
850
00:46:21,039 --> 00:46:22,257
- Thank you.
851
00:46:22,301 --> 00:46:25,565
[ cheers ]
852
00:46:34,574 --> 00:46:36,532
- I'm gonna shuffle
the cards three times.
853
00:46:36,576 --> 00:46:38,099
- Three times.
Okay.
854
00:46:38,143 --> 00:46:41,799
- And then I'm gonna lay them
out for you in three stacks.
855
00:46:41,842 --> 00:46:46,804
- A lot of these women,
they ain't be heard in 17 years.
856
00:46:46,847 --> 00:46:49,197
They ain't looked at
themselves in the mirror and
857
00:46:49,241 --> 00:46:53,854
thought anything good about
themselves in a real long time.
858
00:46:54,333 --> 00:46:56,422
- You just put them
back into one big stack
859
00:46:56,465 --> 00:46:58,032
however you want.
860
00:46:58,076 --> 00:47:01,601
- And this isn't the minority.
This is the majority.
861
00:47:01,644 --> 00:47:03,908
- The energy is a
little scattered right now.
862
00:47:03,951 --> 00:47:06,867
It's because you're
refusing to compromise.
863
00:47:06,911 --> 00:47:09,087
- I like to come to these
retreats because it's
864
00:47:09,130 --> 00:47:15,528
an outlet for me to kind of
regain and center myself.
865
00:47:15,571 --> 00:47:18,618
- As much as you are
inherently have a fierceness,
866
00:47:18,661 --> 00:47:21,490
you don't have to
show up armored.
867
00:47:21,534 --> 00:47:25,930
- In 2017, I went
through cancer and didn't tell
868
00:47:25,973 --> 00:47:28,280
hardly anyone that I was sick.
869
00:47:28,323 --> 00:47:30,456
I wore a wig so
no one knew that I was bald.
870
00:47:30,499 --> 00:47:33,285
- However you are that day,
fuckin' own it!
871
00:47:33,328 --> 00:47:35,287
Show up like that's you!
872
00:47:35,330 --> 00:47:37,767
- Like I put a wig on,
but it wasn't the same.
873
00:47:37,811 --> 00:47:40,074
When I took the wig off,
I was still bald.
874
00:47:40,118 --> 00:47:45,819
But I viewed myself sort
of the way I was before,
875
00:47:45,863 --> 00:47:48,300
but you walk by a
mirror and you glance.
876
00:47:48,343 --> 00:47:50,345
You see a stranger
looking back at you.
877
00:47:50,389 --> 00:47:53,131
I lost who I was.
878
00:47:53,174 --> 00:47:56,917
- And it's sort of like
I have to defend my home.
879
00:47:56,961 --> 00:47:59,441
I have to protect what is mine.
880
00:47:59,485 --> 00:48:03,271
- Lux actually extended
the offer to me following
881
00:48:03,315 --> 00:48:07,536
a tragic event with
losing my youngest daughter.
882
00:48:07,580 --> 00:48:09,495
- You're rising up
out of the depths.
883
00:48:09,538 --> 00:48:11,540
You know, she's
coming out of the water.
884
00:48:11,584 --> 00:48:13,499
They're both coming
out of the water.
885
00:48:13,542 --> 00:48:15,109
You have been in it.
886
00:48:15,153 --> 00:48:18,939
You've been deep in
emotion and you're rising.
887
00:48:18,983 --> 00:48:21,986
- She just wanted to give
me something that would be
888
00:48:22,029 --> 00:48:26,686
comforting to me and just
come into a community where
889
00:48:26,729 --> 00:48:28,557
people can put
their arms around me.
890
00:48:28,601 --> 00:48:31,778
And I can just talk about
things that were affecting me.
891
00:48:33,606 --> 00:48:36,522
- We have our
bodies policed a lot.
892
00:48:36,565 --> 00:48:40,047
Being a plus-size person, my
body is policed pretty heavily.
893
00:48:40,091 --> 00:48:41,135
- It definitely
changed my life.
894
00:48:41,179 --> 00:48:42,571
I've gone through
a lot of trauma.
895
00:48:42,615 --> 00:48:44,051
- These few
months of my life,
896
00:48:44,095 --> 00:48:46,358
I've been really stressful
and very like depressing.
897
00:48:46,401 --> 00:48:49,274
- We all want to say, "Oh, I
love myself and I feel great",
898
00:48:49,317 --> 00:48:51,102
but we're all here
because there's some things
899
00:48:51,145 --> 00:48:53,669
we don't 100% love.
900
00:48:53,713 --> 00:48:55,497
- Okay, there have been
times it didn't show up.
901
00:48:55,541 --> 00:48:56,759
I did try to trust.
902
00:48:56,803 --> 00:48:59,545
I wanted to believe,
and it didn't happen.
903
00:48:59,588 --> 00:49:01,982
But you're in a
new place now.
904
00:49:02,026 --> 00:49:05,638
- I've forgotten that
I don't need to feel so
905
00:49:05,681 --> 00:49:06,987
gross all the time.
906
00:49:07,031 --> 00:49:08,597
I need to remind
myself that I'm a strong person
907
00:49:08,641 --> 00:49:11,687
and that I am worth being here.
908
00:49:11,731 --> 00:49:13,298
- So I kind of know
all these people,
909
00:49:13,341 --> 00:49:14,299
so I'm just like,
910
00:49:14,342 --> 00:49:17,998
"It is true about her,
isn't it?
911
00:49:18,042 --> 00:49:19,913
She does take the
weight of the world on her
912
00:49:19,957 --> 00:49:21,001
shoulders after all."
913
00:49:21,045 --> 00:49:23,961
- Yeah.
[ laugh ]
914
00:49:24,004 --> 00:49:27,573
- Damn, man, I didn't
expect to feel that way,
915
00:49:27,616 --> 00:49:29,401
but yet here we are.
916
00:49:29,444 --> 00:49:31,490
- Strip Cabin!
- Strip Cabin!
917
00:49:31,533 --> 00:49:33,492
- Tits and tears!
918
00:49:33,535 --> 00:49:36,538
Tits and tears at
the Strip Cabin, everybody!
919
00:49:49,682 --> 00:49:54,600
- This workshop, Strip Craft,
is foundational to my career.
920
00:49:54,643 --> 00:49:56,732
I am a former
university instructor,
921
00:49:56,776 --> 00:50:02,216
a lifelong stripper turned
itinerate preacher for
922
00:50:02,260 --> 00:50:05,480
women's empowerment
through sensual awakening.
923
00:50:05,524 --> 00:50:08,788
The first half is what
I call a feminist sermon.
924
00:50:08,831 --> 00:50:10,746
It's like the female
empowerment motivational
925
00:50:10,790 --> 00:50:12,357
speech of your lifetime.
926
00:50:12,400 --> 00:50:15,751
We are taught that
it is ugly to do this sort of
927
00:50:15,795 --> 00:50:18,580
self-reflection on the ways
in which we are great.
928
00:50:18,624 --> 00:50:21,322
We are taught instead that
it is noble and honorable
929
00:50:21,366 --> 00:50:23,977
to think about all the
fuckin' ways you suck.
930
00:50:24,021 --> 00:50:28,068
Now that we can respect.
They love it.
931
00:50:28,112 --> 00:50:30,723
They love it when
you list your flaws.
932
00:50:30,766 --> 00:50:32,246
Here's what I wanna tell you.
933
00:50:32,290 --> 00:50:39,688
Don't let all of your beauty
pass you by with everybody
934
00:50:39,732 --> 00:50:42,082
in the world seeing it but you.
935
00:50:42,126 --> 00:50:45,042
It's already in you.
936
00:50:45,085 --> 00:50:48,306
There is nothing that
needs to be invented!
937
00:50:48,349 --> 00:50:52,005
There is nothing more
that you need to be!
938
00:50:52,049 --> 00:50:57,402
It is already there!
Just find it!
939
00:50:57,445 --> 00:51:00,405
I won't tell you it will be
easy and I won't tell you
940
00:51:00,448 --> 00:51:01,928
that it will always be fun.
941
00:51:01,971 --> 00:51:05,627
But sometimes it will be.
942
00:51:08,804 --> 00:51:12,243
And then the second
part is movement, sexy movement.
943
00:51:12,286 --> 00:51:14,114
We're rolling around the
floor, we're rolling
944
00:51:14,158 --> 00:51:15,376
around with each other.
945
00:51:15,420 --> 00:51:16,856
Are you nervous?
946
00:51:16,899 --> 00:51:19,206
Take that shit
out of your head!
947
00:51:19,250 --> 00:51:24,124
Put it on the shelf and be
that woman that you actually
948
00:51:24,168 --> 00:51:26,735
know is inside.
949
00:51:30,174 --> 00:51:32,306
- Day one, everyone
is coming with like,
950
00:51:32,350 --> 00:51:35,788
as you would meet any stranger,
like a sense of anticipation.
951
00:51:35,831 --> 00:51:41,185
And day two, every woman
unfurls her layers a little bit.
952
00:51:41,228 --> 00:51:43,883
It's beautiful.
953
00:51:54,198 --> 00:52:01,118
- There was that sense of
I'm covered up and I'm ready
954
00:52:01,161 --> 00:52:03,772
to not be.
955
00:52:12,129 --> 00:52:15,132
I feel at home.
956
00:52:15,610 --> 00:52:17,134
I feel at home
with these women.
957
00:52:17,177 --> 00:52:19,701
I feel at home myself
and I just want to like invite
958
00:52:19,745 --> 00:52:22,356
more of that out.
959
00:52:25,098 --> 00:52:28,406
I still have those
voices in my head that are
960
00:52:28,449 --> 00:52:31,626
judging me and are
self-conscious and are
961
00:52:31,670 --> 00:52:36,588
questioning the freedom
I allowed myself today.
962
00:52:37,458 --> 00:52:39,678
If those voices went away,
I would walk through the world
963
00:52:39,721 --> 00:52:43,725
completely in myself,
aligned with my truth and
964
00:52:43,769 --> 00:52:47,120
feeling pretty fucking amazing.
965
00:52:54,649 --> 00:52:57,739
- Woo!
966
00:53:01,178 --> 00:53:03,005
- And this is Strip Craft.
967
00:53:03,049 --> 00:53:06,052
Thank you so much.
- Woo!
968
00:53:08,097 --> 00:53:11,057
- I feel a part of me did
get awakened and opened
969
00:53:11,100 --> 00:53:13,886
and allowed to express itself.
970
00:53:13,929 --> 00:53:16,062
And now that I've
had that experience,
971
00:53:16,105 --> 00:53:19,805
I can re-access that
space of true freedom and
972
00:53:19,848 --> 00:53:22,721
liberation and self-expression.
973
00:53:22,764 --> 00:53:26,464
- Like something broke open
in me and it's there now.
974
00:53:26,507 --> 00:53:30,468
And I'm not gonna lose it.
Thank you so much.
975
00:53:33,122 --> 00:53:34,472
- It doesn't matter.
976
00:53:34,515 --> 00:53:37,039
It doesn't matter how
I choose to identify.
977
00:53:37,083 --> 00:53:39,041
It doesn't matter how
anyone else sees me.
978
00:53:39,085 --> 00:53:41,696
Because there's
a space in me that it just
979
00:53:41,740 --> 00:53:44,046
is and I can access that.
980
00:53:44,090 --> 00:53:49,269
So all of the definitions
and labels and boxes cease
981
00:53:49,313 --> 00:53:53,230
to exist when I am
in that space.
982
00:53:57,973 --> 00:53:59,540
- Let's start
over by that window.
983
00:53:59,584 --> 00:54:00,889
- Okay.
984
00:54:00,933 --> 00:54:02,848
- I always tell people
I'm an okay photographer.
985
00:54:02,891 --> 00:54:04,806
I'm an expert at getting
people comfortable in
986
00:54:04,850 --> 00:54:05,851
the front of the camera.
987
00:54:05,894 --> 00:54:08,636
So it's my job.
It's what I do.
988
00:54:09,115 --> 00:54:10,334
- Peel!
I love just like that.
989
00:54:10,377 --> 00:54:13,337
That's perfect!
Yes.
990
00:54:14,381 --> 00:54:16,165
Close your eyes again.
991
00:54:16,209 --> 00:54:17,732
When we go back
to the real world,
992
00:54:17,776 --> 00:54:20,300
it's really hard and
it's really jarring.
993
00:54:20,344 --> 00:54:23,260
Because we're in this
nurturing little happy
994
00:54:23,303 --> 00:54:25,740
bubble where everyone is
telling us we're beautiful
995
00:54:25,784 --> 00:54:28,743
and everyone is helping us.
996
00:54:28,787 --> 00:54:32,094
And then we go to the real
world where lots of things suck.
997
00:54:32,138 --> 00:54:34,793
And I think the photography
is the important part of it
998
00:54:34,836 --> 00:54:38,623
'cause seeing it again can
help you bring back those
999
00:54:38,666 --> 00:54:42,148
emotions and feel
that sense of comfort.
1000
00:54:42,191 --> 00:54:46,021
- I can't wait to
see the pictures!
1001
00:54:46,065 --> 00:54:50,852
It's always so exciting for me.
Thank you.
1002
00:54:53,202 --> 00:54:56,684
- So we had this
killer dance party.
1003
00:54:56,728 --> 00:55:02,211
And I think, after being
here all weekend with
1004
00:55:02,255 --> 00:55:05,606
these amazing people,
I was just really ready to
1005
00:55:05,650 --> 00:55:08,000
dance my ass off.
1006
00:55:08,043 --> 00:55:12,439
So we did and it was so fun.
It was amazing.
1007
00:55:13,310 --> 00:55:16,530
If you just look at a
few images of this event,
1008
00:55:16,574 --> 00:55:19,446
it might look like
girls gone wild.
1009
00:55:19,490 --> 00:55:23,581
It's not like that to
actually be here at all.
1010
00:55:23,624 --> 00:55:26,801
It's more about stripping
away the layers that keep
1011
00:55:26,845 --> 00:55:29,717
you from being who you are.
1012
00:55:29,761 --> 00:55:33,373
And the clothes are
just an afterthought.
1013
00:55:33,417 --> 00:55:35,680
- First things first, I'm
gonna start loving myself again.
1014
00:55:35,723 --> 00:55:38,509
I lost that for a minute
for the last few months.
1015
00:55:38,552 --> 00:55:43,035
And this awakens for me,
refreshed, that feeling of
1016
00:55:43,078 --> 00:55:46,691
being confident
and supporting myself.
1017
00:55:46,734 --> 00:55:51,609
I matter, I am important,
and I don't have to be
1018
00:55:51,652 --> 00:55:55,439
afraid of what
people think of me, period.
1019
00:55:57,441 --> 00:55:58,529
- I'm happy you
had a good time.
1020
00:55:58,572 --> 00:56:00,574
I told you it
was gonna be easy.
1021
00:56:00,618 --> 00:56:02,228
- It was.
You were right.
1022
00:56:02,271 --> 00:56:04,752
Actually, you were right
about pretty much everything
1023
00:56:04,796 --> 00:56:08,582
you told me to
expect about the weekend.
1024
00:56:08,626 --> 00:56:10,541
You were spot on.
1025
00:56:10,584 --> 00:56:14,153
It has been even more
amazing than I thought it
1026
00:56:14,196 --> 00:56:16,329
was gonna be.
- Yeah.
1027
00:56:17,286 --> 00:56:18,984
I'm so happy to see
you doing so well,
1028
00:56:19,027 --> 00:56:20,551
and I'm really proud of you.
1029
00:56:20,594 --> 00:56:24,250
- It was your fuckin'
fire under my ass, so thank you.
1030
00:56:24,293 --> 00:56:25,947
- Yeah.
My pleasure, man.
1031
00:56:25,991 --> 00:56:27,862
I love you with
all my heart.
1032
00:56:27,906 --> 00:56:32,040
- I love you too.
Thank you.
1033
00:56:35,435 --> 00:56:39,047
- I appreciate you.
- I appreciate you.
1034
00:56:39,570 --> 00:56:41,006
- Thank you.
1035
00:56:41,049 --> 00:56:43,487
- So people often wonder why
we take our clothes off
1036
00:56:43,530 --> 00:56:45,402
and why there's nudity involved.
1037
00:56:45,445 --> 00:56:50,015
And the answer,
I think, for a lot of us and
1038
00:56:50,058 --> 00:56:54,454
a lot of women is
we have a lot of trauma involved
1039
00:56:54,498 --> 00:57:00,242
with our bodies,
self-hatred, self-loathing.
1040
00:57:00,286 --> 00:57:07,293
We've been victimized
physically and it makes you
1041
00:57:07,336 --> 00:57:09,556
lose this connection
with your body.
1042
00:57:09,600 --> 00:57:11,993
It makes you view
your body as this enemy.
1043
00:57:12,037 --> 00:57:14,909
We are so indoctrinated
into thinking our bodies
1044
00:57:14,953 --> 00:57:16,911
are a problem.
1045
00:57:16,955 --> 00:57:19,566
And that's why the
nudity matters here.
1046
00:57:19,610 --> 00:57:23,788
Because this is the
place where you see,
1047
00:57:23,831 --> 00:57:30,621
if only for this brief weekend,
where you can see this body
1048
00:57:30,664 --> 00:57:34,407
is not actually a problem.
1049
00:57:34,451 --> 00:57:37,497
And it's the only
one I have and, goddamn it,
1050
00:57:37,541 --> 00:57:40,326
I'm gonna fuckin' love it!
76096
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