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1
00:01:00,261 --> 00:01:01,304
Hey, here you go, Grady.
2
00:01:01,328 --> 00:01:02,506
Hey, hey. Thanks.
3
00:01:02,530 --> 00:01:03,507
Turn 'em on.
4
00:01:03,531 --> 00:01:04,531
Yep.
5
00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:11,314
Boy, this is going
to be great, Fred.
6
00:01:11,338 --> 00:01:12,682
That sure was a good idea,
7
00:01:12,706 --> 00:01:15,018
you asking me to
bring my set over
8
00:01:15,042 --> 00:01:17,487
so that we can watch the
monsters and the soap operas
9
00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:19,856
at the same time.
10
00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:21,824
Yeah. That's what I
call good living, Grady.
11
00:01:21,848 --> 00:01:24,661
Yeah. Plenty of beer
and potato chips...
12
00:01:24,685 --> 00:01:27,219
and two TV sets...
One for each eye.
13
00:01:32,393 --> 00:01:35,338
And now channel 12 presents...
14
00:01:35,362 --> 00:01:38,475
Here we go, Grady. Yeah.
15
00:01:38,499 --> 00:01:42,946
Return of the Vampire,
starring Bela Lugosi.
16
00:01:42,970 --> 00:01:44,114
I missed that one, Grady.
17
00:01:44,138 --> 00:01:45,115
Oh, yeah.
18
00:01:45,139 --> 00:01:46,349
Oh yeah, now, that's...
19
00:01:46,373 --> 00:01:48,885
That's the one with
the surprise ending.
20
00:01:48,909 --> 00:01:50,787
I like surprise endings.
21
00:01:50,811 --> 00:01:52,589
Well, if you like
surprise endings,
22
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,491
you're going to love this one.
23
00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:56,259
This is the one where
the 50-year-old man
24
00:01:56,283 --> 00:01:58,828
turns out to be
a 28-year-old girl.
25
00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:01,798
Just wait until you see this.
26
00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:02,822
Whoa, what a surprise.
27
00:02:04,891 --> 00:02:06,191
It's just...
28
00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:24,321
Hello, son.
29
00:02:24,345 --> 00:02:25,522
Pull up a chair.
30
00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:26,723
Hey, man, what's going on here?
31
00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:28,492
First, you watch
one television set.
32
00:02:28,516 --> 00:02:30,627
Now you're watching
two television sets.
33
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,129
What'll you do
tomorrow? Watch three?
34
00:02:32,153 --> 00:02:33,730
There's a whole
article in here, Pop,
35
00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:35,499
about people who
have heart conditions
36
00:02:35,523 --> 00:02:38,668
just like yourself...
37
00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:42,005
And you want to know what
the best thing for them is?
38
00:02:42,029 --> 00:02:44,707
To move their dummy
son out the way of the TV,
39
00:02:44,731 --> 00:02:46,209
and the sooner the better.
40
00:02:46,233 --> 00:02:47,513
No, Pop.
41
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,980
Exercise.
42
00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:51,981
Exercise?
43
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:52,982
That's right. Exercise.
44
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:54,417
You know, like, uh... um...
45
00:02:54,441 --> 00:02:56,186
push-ups, chin-ups, sit-ups.
46
00:02:56,210 --> 00:02:58,277
Why don't you try some shut-ups?
47
00:03:02,616 --> 00:03:04,661
That was something, Fred.
48
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,330
You get that, Lamont?
49
00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:08,898
He didn't like
you yelling at him,
50
00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:12,057
so he told you to shut up
in his funny little old way.
51
00:03:13,561 --> 00:03:15,905
He's such a...
52
00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:18,875
Grady, don't you know it's
polite to remove your bowl
53
00:03:18,899 --> 00:03:20,859
when you come into
somebody's house?
54
00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:25,114
The article in here
is all about exercise
55
00:03:25,138 --> 00:03:26,483
for heart patients
like yourself,
56
00:03:26,507 --> 00:03:28,285
and it was written
by a brilliant doctor.
57
00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:29,886
I'd like for you
to read it, Pop.
58
00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:31,087
I don't need to read it.
59
00:03:31,111 --> 00:03:32,989
I get plenty of exercise.
60
00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:34,224
Where do you get exercise?
61
00:03:34,248 --> 00:03:38,562
At funerals, being pallbearer
62
00:03:38,586 --> 00:03:40,506
for all my friends
who exercised.
63
00:03:47,127 --> 00:03:48,438
Now, listen to this, Pop.
64
00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:51,208
The article says that
people that are inactive
65
00:03:51,232 --> 00:03:54,077
run twice the risk of
having heart attacks
66
00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:55,078
as other people.
67
00:03:55,102 --> 00:03:56,646
Well, I... I'm not inactive.
68
00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:59,616
Well, what do you call
sleeping 12 hours a day
69
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:01,384
and watching television
12 hours a day?
70
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:06,122
I call that a balanced day.
71
00:04:06,146 --> 00:04:08,758
What do you call it
when a guy shovels snow
72
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:10,093
and drops dead in his driveway?
73
00:04:10,117 --> 00:04:12,295
Pop, nobody's asking
you to shovel snow, man.
74
00:04:12,319 --> 00:04:13,296
I'm just asking you
75
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:14,497
to move around a little bit.
76
00:04:14,521 --> 00:04:16,499
Get the blood
circulating, move around.
77
00:04:16,523 --> 00:04:17,500
Okay, okay, okay.
78
00:04:17,524 --> 00:04:18,568
Here, hold that Grady.
79
00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:19,691
I'll move around for ya.
80
00:04:27,033 --> 00:04:28,345
I'm serious, Pop.
81
00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:29,779
Now, I checked over at the YMCA,
82
00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:31,715
and they got an exercise
program over there.
83
00:04:31,739 --> 00:04:33,149
What channel is it on?
84
00:04:33,173 --> 00:04:35,852
I'll turn it on, and
we can watch it.
85
00:04:35,876 --> 00:04:37,354
And starting tomorrow,
86
00:04:37,378 --> 00:04:38,855
we're going to take
long walks together
87
00:04:38,879 --> 00:04:39,856
every day.
88
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:41,491
Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
89
00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:43,092
I'm sorry, but I have a
previous engagement.
90
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:47,130
With who? Moses.
91
00:04:47,154 --> 00:04:48,732
They're showing part three
of The Ten Commandments
92
00:04:48,756 --> 00:04:49,899
on Channel 14.
93
00:04:49,923 --> 00:04:53,737
Yeah, from "Thou
Shalt Not Steal"
94
00:04:53,761 --> 00:04:56,339
to "Thou Shalt Not
Covet Thy Neighbor's Ox...
95
00:04:56,363 --> 00:04:57,363
or his Ass".
96
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:03,913
All right, the day after, then.
97
00:05:03,937 --> 00:05:05,982
Oh, the day after, no.
I'll be busy then too.
98
00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:08,685
See, I've got an appointment
with Oral Roberts on television.
99
00:05:08,709 --> 00:05:09,686
Oh yeah.
100
00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:11,354
Oral Roberts is going to heal
101
00:05:11,378 --> 00:05:14,891
your father's
calluses on his feet.
102
00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:16,058
How is Oral Roberts
103
00:05:16,082 --> 00:05:17,427
going to heal your calluses
104
00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:18,461
when you'll be here?
105
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:20,885
Well, I'm going
to stand on the TV
106
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,834
Let me put it to
you another way...
107
00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:26,469
Just when do you
think you'll be ready
108
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:28,471
to start taking these exercises?
109
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:29,972
You know, when
will you be available?
110
00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:31,408
Well, let me see.
111
00:05:31,432 --> 00:05:33,876
Now, this is Friday.
112
00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:38,548
There's Friday, Saturday,
Sunday, Monday...
113
00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:43,920
October, November...
114
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:47,624
I can give you the exact
date that I'll be available.
115
00:05:47,648 --> 00:05:51,160
May one.
116
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:53,697
Listen, just get away
from this television set.
117
00:05:53,721 --> 00:05:56,800
No, no. What do you mean
get away from the TV set?
118
00:05:56,824 --> 00:05:58,201
Exactly what I said.
119
00:05:58,225 --> 00:05:59,902
Get away from the TV set.
120
00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:01,938
Don't do that.
121
00:06:01,962 --> 00:06:04,574
No. Don't do that.
122
00:06:04,598 --> 00:06:05,575
Would you stop that?
123
00:06:05,599 --> 00:06:06,776
What do you mean "stop it"?
124
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:07,844
This is my set.
125
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:08,945
This is my set.
126
00:06:08,969 --> 00:06:10,347
How do you figure it's your set?
127
00:06:10,371 --> 00:06:11,781
I paid for the set.
128
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:14,083
Well, I'm the one that does
the watching all the time.
129
00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:15,352
I got squatter's rights.
130
00:06:15,376 --> 00:06:17,153
That ain't got nothing
to do with the set.
131
00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:18,154
I paid for the set...
132
00:06:18,178 --> 00:06:19,422
Now... now, wait
a minute, y'all.
133
00:06:19,446 --> 00:06:20,590
Th... this set's my set.
134
00:06:20,614 --> 00:06:21,991
Now, don't get in
no family argument.
135
00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:24,494
You'll get hurt bad,
getting in a family argument.
136
00:06:25,519 --> 00:06:26,496
Don't do that.
137
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:27,497
Now, we're talking about...
138
00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:28,732
Don't do that.
139
00:06:28,756 --> 00:06:30,099
We're talking about my set.
140
00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:31,267
Don't put my set on.
141
00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:32,469
What do you mean, "your set"?
142
00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:33,470
Just what I said.
143
00:06:33,494 --> 00:06:34,771
It's mine. It's not yours.
144
00:06:34,795 --> 00:06:36,973
I paid for this set.
145
00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:41,867
Just don't put your hand
on this set no more...
146
00:06:42,403 --> 00:06:43,403
Oh, no!
147
00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:47,484
Oh!
148
00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:48,508
Oh, no!
149
00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:51,043
Oh!
150
00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:56,325
Hey, listen, son,
151
00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:58,361
this is he third
day without no TV.
152
00:06:58,385 --> 00:06:59,962
When are you
going to get it fixed?
153
00:06:59,986 --> 00:07:01,931
As soon as you start taking
those exercise classes.
154
00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:03,867
How come you ain't
sitting in your chair?
155
00:07:03,891 --> 00:07:06,703
Because that's my
television-watching chair,
156
00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:08,971
and I ain't gonna sit in it
until I'm watching television.
157
00:07:08,995 --> 00:07:11,140
All right. Suit yourself.
158
00:07:11,164 --> 00:07:12,308
Wait a minute.
159
00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:16,613
I said that that is my
television-watching chair.
160
00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:18,002
Now, you sit down
somewhere else.
161
00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:22,819
I'm sitting here.
162
00:07:22,843 --> 00:07:25,187
Why don't you stop
acting like a 2-year-old?
163
00:07:25,211 --> 00:07:27,857
You're just trying to get
out of taking those exercises.
164
00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:28,991
No, I ain't, son.
165
00:07:29,015 --> 00:07:32,529
It's because I miss
my loved ones.
166
00:07:32,553 --> 00:07:33,730
What are you talking about, Pop?
167
00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:36,332
I love Lucy, and
I love Miss Kitty,
168
00:07:36,356 --> 00:07:37,967
and Josephine the Plumber,
169
00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:40,537
and that girl
with the full figure
170
00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:43,840
who don't believe
she's wearing a girdle...
171
00:07:43,864 --> 00:07:45,475
and that weird...
172
00:07:45,499 --> 00:07:47,710
that weird guy who's
always in the supermarket
173
00:07:47,734 --> 00:07:48,967
squeezing toilet paper.
174
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:55,874
Hello there, Mr. Sanford.
175
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,157
Mr. Sanford, how are you?
176
00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:02,258
How you doing, Hoppy?
177
00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:04,026
Well, I'm on my
dinner break, Fred,
178
00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:05,462
and, uh, I know
you usually watch
179
00:08:05,486 --> 00:08:07,464
the Hollywood Squares about now.
180
00:08:07,488 --> 00:08:10,467
Yeah, usually.
181
00:08:10,491 --> 00:08:14,971
Anyway, my idol, the
honorable Mr. Jack Webb,
182
00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:17,774
is making his debut tonight.
183
00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:21,277
He'll be sitting on top
of Karen Valentine.
184
00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:23,913
If you want to see
your idol tonight,
185
00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:25,715
the great Jack Webb,
186
00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:27,717
then you'll have to go
somewhere and pick him up,
187
00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:30,252
and bring him over here,
and fold him up real small,
188
00:08:30,276 --> 00:08:32,254
and shove him in the
TV viewer to see him.
189
00:08:32,278 --> 00:08:34,858
Holy cow! What happened here?
190
00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:36,459
This is a two-O-six.
This is malicious damage.
191
00:08:36,483 --> 00:08:40,563
I'm going to have to initiate
a step-by-step investigation.
192
00:08:40,587 --> 00:08:42,966
All right, let's start
from the beginning.
193
00:08:42,990 --> 00:08:45,434
Well, it was an accident,
194
00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:46,736
but we're not getting it fixed.
195
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,938
See, my pop is supposed
to start taking exercises
196
00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:50,507
but he can't stop
watching television.
197
00:08:50,531 --> 00:08:52,809
I can give it up
any time I get ready.
198
00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:54,310
I just ain't been ready.
199
00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:56,012
Now, you said
you could give it up
200
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:57,380
any time you wanted to.
201
00:08:57,404 --> 00:08:58,481
That is a bad sign.
202
00:08:58,505 --> 00:09:00,049
Well, what do you mean, Hoppy?
203
00:09:00,073 --> 00:09:03,085
Well, I've been reading
this pamphlet recently
204
00:09:03,109 --> 00:09:07,089
entitled "How to
Recognize an Alcoholic."
205
00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:08,958
You don't know how to
recognize an alcoholic?
206
00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:10,159
Well, when you see a guy
207
00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:13,663
trying to put his shoes
on over his head,
208
00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:15,064
he's an alcoholic.
209
00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:17,834
Well, that's not what
it said in the pamphlet.
210
00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:20,169
It said that one sure sign
to recognize an alcoholic
211
00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:22,238
is if a man says he
can give up drinking
212
00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:24,240
any time he wants
to, but he doesn't.
213
00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:26,676
Now, that is you, Mr. Sanford.
214
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:28,912
Hey, wait a minute, Hoppy.
Pop's not an alcoholic.
215
00:09:28,936 --> 00:09:32,515
I know. He's a tele-holic...
216
00:09:32,539 --> 00:09:33,750
hooked on television.
217
00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:35,585
That's your opinion,
218
00:09:35,609 --> 00:09:37,186
and you have a
right to your opinion.
219
00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:39,388
Now may I give you mine?
220
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:42,592
Go ahead.
221
00:09:42,616 --> 00:09:44,260
Wait a minute, Pop.
222
00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:45,428
I think Hoppy's right, man.
223
00:09:45,452 --> 00:09:46,863
Yo... you get depressed
224
00:09:46,887 --> 00:09:49,032
if you don't watch television.
225
00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:50,166
Yeah. Maybe you're right, son.
226
00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:52,101
And I think he is
right, Mr. Sanford.
227
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:53,525
You've got to stop
hitting the tube.
228
00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:57,139
Yeah, he's right, Pop.
229
00:09:57,163 --> 00:09:59,175
There's no difference
between you and a person
230
00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:01,377
that's hooked on
cigarettes or alcohol.
231
00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:03,046
You're an addict, Pop.
232
00:10:03,070 --> 00:10:05,347
You're a TV addict, Jack.
233
00:10:05,371 --> 00:10:07,652
You've got a
peacock on your back.
234
00:10:08,241 --> 00:10:10,319
A peacock.
235
00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:11,654
Oh, no.
236
00:10:11,678 --> 00:10:12,655
Oh, no. I'm an addict.
237
00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:16,025
Oh, did you hear
that, Elizabeth?
238
00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:18,027
I'm coming to join you, honey.
239
00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:21,097
I'm hooked on color television.
240
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:23,499
Oh, honey, it won't be
hard to recognize me.
241
00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:26,002
I'll be the one with
the bird on my back.
242
00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:27,058
Oh, God.
243
00:10:38,105 --> 00:10:39,515
Lamont's right about you
244
00:10:39,539 --> 00:10:41,084
not taking care
of yourself, Fred.
245
00:10:41,108 --> 00:10:44,286
That's why I came here
to fix this meal for you.
246
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:45,554
Well, Donna, I...
247
00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:48,557
I don't like that old
low-castor-oil stuff.
248
00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:52,061
That's low cholesterol,
and you should like it.
249
00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:53,596
You should stay away from things
250
00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:55,798
like fried foods,
butter, egg yolks...
251
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:57,033
Egg yolks? Mm-hmm.
252
00:10:57,057 --> 00:10:58,300
You take away the egg yolk,
253
00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:00,569
that's the best part of it.
254
00:11:00,593 --> 00:11:01,904
Take away the yolk,
255
00:11:01,928 --> 00:11:03,706
there ain't nothing left
but that old slippery stuff.
256
00:11:03,730 --> 00:11:05,374
Hey, listen, honey,
257
00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:09,145
maybe I shouldn't be
watching television all the time.
258
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:10,146
Of course.
259
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:11,147
You agree?
260
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,381
Certainly, I agree.
261
00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:13,983
Maybe after dinner,
262
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:16,318
we can do something
else besides watch TV.
263
00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:17,720
Like what?
264
00:11:17,744 --> 00:11:19,789
Yeah! Fred!
265
00:11:19,813 --> 00:11:21,490
No, what I mean is, like, uh...
266
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,325
maybe Lamont is
right about me needing
267
00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:25,862
more exercise, more activity.
268
00:11:25,886 --> 00:11:26,963
I need to bend,
269
00:11:26,987 --> 00:11:28,765
I need to twist, you
know what I mean?
270
00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:29,966
I need to bend and twist,
271
00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:31,701
and get all relaxed,
272
00:11:31,725 --> 00:11:33,602
and that will give me
some rest and everything.
273
00:11:33,626 --> 00:11:35,404
That's right, Fred.
274
00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:37,140
Uh, well, then, I
thought we might...
275
00:11:37,164 --> 00:11:39,142
No, Fred.
276
00:11:39,166 --> 00:11:40,409
Honey, you know,
277
00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:43,913
when a man gets that urge...
- Pop!
278
00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:45,381
When a man gets the call...
279
00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:46,582
Hey, Pop!
280
00:11:46,606 --> 00:11:48,117
I think you're
getting that call, Fred.
281
00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:50,553
I think I'm gonna
cancel that call.
282
00:11:50,577 --> 00:11:52,254
We're in here, Lamont.
283
00:11:52,278 --> 00:11:53,890
Why did you tell
him we're in here?
284
00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:54,957
He's your son.
285
00:11:54,981 --> 00:11:57,461
Well, that was an accident.
286
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,698
Oh, hi, Donna. Hi, Lamont.
287
00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:02,865
Hey, listen, son,
288
00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:04,901
you remember when you
was a little boy like this,
289
00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:06,302
and you used to come to me
290
00:12:06,326 --> 00:12:08,137
to get some money
to go to the movies,
291
00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:09,972
and I wouldn't give
you none? Yeah.
292
00:12:09,996 --> 00:12:11,362
Well, I changed my mind.
293
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,678
Go to the movies and
get you some popcorn,
294
00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:16,702
and see the show twice.
295
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:21,650
You ain't in the movies yet?
296
00:12:21,674 --> 00:12:24,286
Just come on in the
living room, all right?
297
00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:25,354
Go on, Fred.
298
00:12:25,378 --> 00:12:27,645
Oh, I'll go in the living room.
299
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,027
Uh, Pop,
300
00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:32,328
I'd like for you to
meet... Mr. Simmons.
301
00:12:32,352 --> 00:12:34,663
Your son's told
me a lot about you.
302
00:12:34,687 --> 00:12:36,265
Yeah, well, by now
you ought to know
303
00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:37,555
I don't want you in my house.
304
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:42,438
Wait a minute now, Pop.
305
00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:43,840
Don't go jumping to
no conclusions now.
306
00:12:43,864 --> 00:12:46,242
Mr. Simmons is going to
make you a very happy man.
307
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:47,243
He is? That's right.
308
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,879
Oh. You're the TV repair man.
309
00:12:49,903 --> 00:12:53,415
Well, here's the TV
right here, Mr. Simmons.
310
00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:55,451
I think you should
know I'm a hypnotist.
311
00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:57,253
I wouldn't care if you
was a gynecologist, man,
312
00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:59,321
if you was going to fix the TV.
313
00:12:59,345 --> 00:13:03,059
No, Mr. Sanford, I'm
not here to fix the TV.
314
00:13:03,083 --> 00:13:04,160
I'm here to fix you.
315
00:13:04,184 --> 00:13:06,095
Look here, I... I
don't need no fixing.
316
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:09,020
Listen, I didn't intend to have
no more dummies anyway.
317
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,507
Fred, will you be serious?
318
00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:19,708
Now, uh, Mr. Simmons,
319
00:13:19,732 --> 00:13:21,310
exactly what is it
you're planning to do?
320
00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:23,746
Uh, well, I have been retained
by young Mr. Sanford here
321
00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:25,281
to, uh, cure his
father's addiction
322
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:26,515
with hypnosis.
323
00:13:26,539 --> 00:13:28,450
Yeah. You see, Pop,
Mr. Simmons is a graduate
324
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:31,453
of the El Segundo
Institute of Hypnosis.
325
00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:32,789
Correct, and in the past,
326
00:13:32,813 --> 00:13:35,925
I have helped smokers
and alcoholics with hypnosis,
327
00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:38,327
and maybe I can do
something for your TV addiction.
328
00:13:38,351 --> 00:13:42,665
Lamont, get this swami
back down to Capistrami.
329
00:13:42,689 --> 00:13:46,335
Mr. Sanford, hypnosis is
a widely respected concept
330
00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:49,538
with unlimited potential
to benefit mankind.
331
00:13:49,562 --> 00:13:53,976
That's the same thing they
said about social security.
332
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,311
Would you just relax?
333
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:56,679
Now just sit down, okay?
334
00:13:56,703 --> 00:13:58,414
Sit down and relax.
335
00:13:58,438 --> 00:13:59,615
Let Mr. Simmons talk to you.
336
00:13:59,639 --> 00:14:00,616
Go ahead.
337
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:01,984
We don't want you
338
00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:05,021
to stop watching television
all together, Mr. Sanford.
339
00:14:05,045 --> 00:14:07,589
It's just that I feel that
with my experience
340
00:14:07,613 --> 00:14:09,758
and the knowledge I've
gained through years of training
341
00:14:09,782 --> 00:14:11,294
at good ol' El Segundo,
342
00:14:11,318 --> 00:14:14,964
that I can help you cut down.
343
00:14:14,988 --> 00:14:17,934
Listen, son, now if I go
along with this here stuff,
344
00:14:17,958 --> 00:14:19,768
will you get the
TV fixed tomorrow?
345
00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:21,037
First thing in the morning, Pop.
346
00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:22,839
And you'll get me
a cable put on it
347
00:14:22,863 --> 00:14:25,041
so that I can watch roller
derby on that Spanish station?
348
00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:26,709
Anything you want.
349
00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:27,710
Then... then I'll try it.
350
00:14:27,734 --> 00:14:29,345
All right, fine.
351
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:31,780
Now, um, let's begin.
352
00:14:31,804 --> 00:14:34,050
Will you stop that?
353
00:14:34,074 --> 00:14:37,119
Fred!
354
00:14:37,143 --> 00:14:40,256
Someone call?
355
00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:42,058
You hypnotized me, Mr. Simmons.
356
00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:44,126
Now, Lamont, get
the TV fixed tomorrow.
357
00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:46,095
I'm gonna tell you...
358
00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:47,363
Now either do this thing right,
359
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,198
or just forget about
getting that TV fixed.
360
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:50,466
I mean that. Fred, come on.
361
00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:51,834
Give him a chance.
362
00:14:51,858 --> 00:14:53,169
It's for your own benefit.
363
00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:54,904
All right, now.
364
00:14:54,928 --> 00:14:56,772
I'm gonna go through
this when it's time,
365
00:14:56,796 --> 00:14:58,507
but I don't want
no parade of people
366
00:14:58,531 --> 00:15:00,409
waving watches
in front of my face.
367
00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:03,645
Okay, fine. All right, now...
now go ahead, Mr. Simmons.
368
00:15:03,669 --> 00:15:05,248
Well, I might as
well tell you now,
369
00:15:05,272 --> 00:15:07,083
I don't believe in
this hypnosis stuff.
370
00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:10,219
Well, a lot of people don't,
and it's understandable.
371
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:13,322
Now just watch the watch.
372
00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:14,957
No, that ain't no trouble
watching a watch.
373
00:15:14,981 --> 00:15:16,625
I don't blame you, really.
374
00:15:16,649 --> 00:15:20,696
If you feel like
relaxing, please do.
375
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:24,355
Hypnosis is not something
that's easily believed.
376
00:15:25,825 --> 00:15:29,705
Watch the watch.
377
00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:31,896
Watch the watch.
378
00:15:36,069 --> 00:15:39,282
Is he hypnotized, Mr. Simmons?
379
00:15:39,306 --> 00:15:41,483
I think so, but I'm
not sure how deeply.
380
00:15:41,507 --> 00:15:43,152
Mr. Sanford, can you hear me?
381
00:15:43,176 --> 00:15:47,089
I hear you.
382
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:48,090
Good.
383
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:50,692
Then walk towards the door.
384
00:15:50,716 --> 00:15:51,882
Walk towards the door.
385
00:15:54,020 --> 00:15:58,000
Uh, not that door,
the other door.
386
00:15:58,024 --> 00:15:59,402
The other door. Far enough.
387
00:15:59,426 --> 00:16:02,405
That's just about far enough.
388
00:16:05,398 --> 00:16:08,577
Good. Too far.
389
00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:11,047
Good. Now turn around.
390
00:16:11,071 --> 00:16:13,182
Turn around.
391
00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:15,166
Uh, stop. Good.
392
00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:18,654
Now, just one more test,
393
00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:20,456
and I think we're
ready to begin.
394
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:24,994
Mr. Sanford, your
left arm is very heavy.
395
00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:25,995
Heavy.
396
00:16:26,019 --> 00:16:27,396
You will attempt to raise it,
397
00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:29,065
but it will be
extremely difficult,
398
00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:30,732
almost impossible.
399
00:16:30,756 --> 00:16:32,996
Mr. Sanford,
raise your left arm.
400
00:16:36,062 --> 00:16:38,074
You can't. It's too heavy.
401
00:16:38,098 --> 00:16:40,618
Now it's light as a feather.
402
00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:48,117
♪ And would I be
sure That this is love ♪
403
00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:51,087
♪ Beyond compare ♪
404
00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:53,255
♪ Would all this be true ♪
405
00:16:53,279 --> 00:16:58,682
♪ If I didn't Care for you? ♪♪
406
00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:08,070
He's ready.
407
00:17:08,094 --> 00:17:10,072
Ready Freddy.
408
00:17:10,096 --> 00:17:12,136
I'm Ready Freddy
and Donna's my steady.
409
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:17,046
You are getting tired, Fred.
410
00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:21,217
You are getting
more and more tired.
411
00:17:21,241 --> 00:17:22,951
Not tonight, Donna.
412
00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:24,308
I'm too tired.
413
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:30,692
Now I'm going to try some
post-hypnotic suggestion.
414
00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:33,529
Mr. Sanford,
listen to me closely.
415
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:35,164
When you wake up,
416
00:17:35,188 --> 00:17:37,533
every time you
think of television,
417
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,968
you will feel very hot.
418
00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:41,803
Very hot.
419
00:17:41,827 --> 00:17:43,839
Whenever you look at television,
420
00:17:43,863 --> 00:17:46,842
or watch a television show,
421
00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:49,378
or even look at a
television guide,
422
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:50,812
or talk about television,
423
00:17:50,836 --> 00:17:53,749
you will feel very, very hot.
424
00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:56,218
Very, very hot.
425
00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:57,453
Good.
426
00:17:57,477 --> 00:18:00,389
Now wake up at
the count of three.
427
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:02,613
One... two... three.
428
00:18:04,451 --> 00:18:06,795
Hey, man, if you ain't
gonna hypnotize me,
429
00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:08,364
why don't you leave my house?
430
00:18:08,388 --> 00:18:09,932
All right. I'll leave. Yes.
431
00:18:09,956 --> 00:18:12,168
Goodbye, Mr. Sanford.
It's been nice meeting you.
432
00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:13,802
Uh, thanks a lot, Mr. Simmons.
433
00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:15,438
Keep in touch, Lamont. Okay.
434
00:18:15,462 --> 00:18:17,973
Well, ho... how
do you feel, Pop?
435
00:18:17,997 --> 00:18:19,075
I'd feel swell, son,
436
00:18:19,099 --> 00:18:20,676
if you'd just get
this TV to work
437
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:24,513
and cut that heat
down some. Fred?
438
00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:25,714
How about something to eat?
439
00:18:25,738 --> 00:18:27,383
Don't bother about
cooking nothing.
440
00:18:27,407 --> 00:18:30,986
Just, uh, uh, defrost a
couple of them TV dinners...
441
00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:33,822
Whew... a couple
of them TV dinners...
442
00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:35,757
No TV dinners, Fred.
443
00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,359
Now, you're going
to have a real meal.
444
00:18:37,383 --> 00:18:39,328
Yeah, of course. Let's eat.
445
00:18:39,352 --> 00:18:41,263
I'll... I'll just go
upstairs, then.
446
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:42,498
Yeah.
447
00:18:42,522 --> 00:18:43,999
Now, Fred, you
just stay out here
448
00:18:44,023 --> 00:18:46,535
and be comfortable,
and I'll get...
449
00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:47,769
I'll get dinner, all right?
450
00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:49,073
Okay, honey.
451
00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:52,674
Whew.
452
00:18:52,698 --> 00:18:53,698
Where's...
453
00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:17,266
Fred?
454
00:19:17,290 --> 00:19:19,768
Would you like a
roll or a slice of rye?
455
00:19:19,792 --> 00:19:24,340
Roller... roller...
Roller derby!
456
00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:25,841
What?
457
00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:27,985
Now just bring me a
cold glass of ice water.
458
00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:32,481
Here, Fred.
459
00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:33,849
Here... what's... Here...
here's your water.
460
00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:35,640
Yeah. Wha... what...
461
00:19:38,545 --> 00:19:39,522
Yeah. Get me another one.
462
00:19:39,546 --> 00:19:41,123
Oh! And get me a block of ice.
463
00:19:41,147 --> 00:19:43,058
Lamont!
464
00:19:43,082 --> 00:19:44,826
Lamont, you'd better
call Mr. Simmons.
465
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:45,961
It's an emergency.
466
00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:47,363
Emergency?
467
00:19:47,387 --> 00:19:48,427
What day is that on?
468
00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:56,972
Please, Mr. Simmons.
469
00:19:56,996 --> 00:19:58,274
Bring him out of it.
470
00:19:58,298 --> 00:20:00,209
Look what this
post-hypnotic suggestion
471
00:20:00,233 --> 00:20:03,612
is doing to him.
472
00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:05,847
All right, Mr. Sanford,
at the count of three...
473
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:07,483
one, two, three.
474
00:20:07,507 --> 00:20:08,984
You feel all right, Pop?
475
00:20:09,008 --> 00:20:10,986
Yeah. Man, why don't
you get out of my house
476
00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:12,188
with that old post-hypnotic
suggestion stuff?
477
00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:14,390
Gladly, gladly.
478
00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:18,126
And, uh... I am sorry.
479
00:20:18,150 --> 00:20:20,696
And listen here, Lamont.
Let me tell you something.
480
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:23,566
Fred, don't start
picking on Lamont.
481
00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:25,990
He was only
trying to help you...
482
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,941
He was only trying
to help you, as I was,
483
00:20:32,965 --> 00:20:35,477
and you'd do well to
try and help yourself.
484
00:20:35,501 --> 00:20:36,478
Now, listen.
485
00:20:36,502 --> 00:20:38,402
Donna, why are you getting mad?
486
00:20:49,616 --> 00:20:51,026
Because you... yo... you...
487
00:20:51,050 --> 00:20:52,528
We care for you, that's why,
488
00:20:52,552 --> 00:20:54,530
and you're not helping
anybody to care for you.
489
00:20:54,554 --> 00:20:55,620
Good night.
490
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,904
You know... you know,
Pop, I think she was right.
491
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:05,674
I know she's right, and
I know you're right, son,
492
00:21:05,698 --> 00:21:06,942
but I can't help myself.
493
00:21:06,966 --> 00:21:09,278
I just... I got a TV...
I'm a TV addict.
494
00:21:09,302 --> 00:21:11,547
Just get the TV
fixed for me tomorrow.
495
00:21:11,571 --> 00:21:12,781
This will all be done.
496
00:21:12,805 --> 00:21:14,850
I'm tired of doing this.
497
00:21:14,874 --> 00:21:16,485
What are you doing?
498
00:21:16,509 --> 00:21:18,609
I'm pretending I'm
watching television.
499
00:21:22,948 --> 00:21:26,729
What are you... What
are you watching?
500
00:21:26,753 --> 00:21:30,421
Right now I'm watching
The Wide World of Junk.
501
00:21:33,526 --> 00:21:34,903
Hey, Pop, come on down here.
502
00:21:34,927 --> 00:21:37,339
I've got something
I want to show you.
503
00:21:37,363 --> 00:21:38,707
Pop!
504
00:21:38,731 --> 00:21:40,476
Okay, okay.
505
00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:41,500
I'm coming.
506
00:21:43,569 --> 00:21:46,248
Well, what is it you
got to show me?
507
00:21:46,272 --> 00:21:48,116
Surprise.
508
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:49,951
You got it fixed! Yeah.
509
00:21:49,975 --> 00:21:52,288
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
510
00:21:52,312 --> 00:21:54,456
Oh, you're a nice son.
511
00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:56,558
Now, nice son, I'm
going to turn it on.
512
00:21:56,582 --> 00:21:58,294
Tut, tut, tut, tut.
513
00:21:58,318 --> 00:22:00,596
There's one small condition.
514
00:22:00,620 --> 00:22:02,464
A condition? Yeah, you see,
515
00:22:02,488 --> 00:22:04,266
from now on when
you're watching television,
516
00:22:04,290 --> 00:22:05,934
you won't be watching it alone,
517
00:22:05,958 --> 00:22:08,069
they'll always be someone
here watching it with you.
518
00:22:08,093 --> 00:22:09,271
Oh, I don't mind that, son.
519
00:22:09,295 --> 00:22:11,173
I like company.
Now, where is he?
520
00:22:11,197 --> 00:22:12,477
You ready?
521
00:22:22,709 --> 00:22:26,054
Oh, son. Don't do that.
522
00:22:26,078 --> 00:22:27,389
Get that picture off of there.
523
00:22:27,413 --> 00:22:28,524
I can't look at TV
524
00:22:28,548 --> 00:22:29,725
with Esther's old
picture up there.
525
00:22:29,749 --> 00:22:32,227
Oh. I'm sorry,
Pop. I can't do that.
526
00:22:32,251 --> 00:22:33,829
It's a package deal, man.
527
00:22:33,853 --> 00:22:35,397
If you want to watch television,
528
00:22:35,421 --> 00:22:37,599
that picture goes with it.
529
00:22:37,623 --> 00:22:39,668
Okay, okay, I'll try.
530
00:22:39,692 --> 00:22:40,972
Yeah, good.
531
00:22:53,806 --> 00:22:56,284
All right, all right, son.
532
00:22:56,308 --> 00:22:57,886
All right. I'll exercise.
533
00:22:57,910 --> 00:22:58,887
I'll exercise. Good.
534
00:22:58,911 --> 00:22:59,888
Now, that's the way
535
00:22:59,912 --> 00:23:01,490
I like to hear my old man talk.
536
00:23:01,514 --> 00:23:03,225
I'll exercise, son.
537
00:23:03,249 --> 00:23:04,815
I'll start right now.
538
00:23:18,398 --> 00:23:21,176
Hey, come on,
Pop. Let's go, man.
539
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:22,480
Okay son, I'm coming.
540
00:23:25,505 --> 00:23:26,948
You ready to go? Yeah.
541
00:23:26,972 --> 00:23:28,817
Well, how long is
this going to take?
542
00:23:28,841 --> 00:23:31,019
We'll go around the block
a couple of times, you know.
543
00:23:31,043 --> 00:23:33,389
I know you don't
want to do this, Pop.
544
00:23:33,413 --> 00:23:35,056
The least I can do,
545
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:36,725
since I got rid of
Esther's picture,
546
00:23:36,749 --> 00:23:39,461
is give you a couple of
minutes of my TV time.
547
00:23:39,485 --> 00:23:41,263
I want you to know
that what you're doing
548
00:23:41,287 --> 00:23:42,664
takes a lot of
strength of character.
549
00:23:42,688 --> 00:23:43,932
Yeah, strength of character.
550
00:23:43,956 --> 00:23:45,676
Let's go. Let's jog.
551
00:23:55,935 --> 00:23:57,479
You old fool!
552
00:23:57,503 --> 00:23:59,503
Door number three!
Door number three!
38595
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