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>> Did I tell you I made partner
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at the firm?
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>> Yep.
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The entire car ride.
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>> It's gonna be so awesome.
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Vern?
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Vern Chalmers?
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You work here now, dude?
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That sucks.
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Me and this (bleep) bag went to
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law school together.
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Talk about going backwards
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in life.
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(scoffing)
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Poor people.
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>> Has this ever happened
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to you?
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Well, now it doesn't have to
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with the new
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Little Richard Remote.
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>> The Little Richard Remote?
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>> Oh, God.
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You can hear me... talking?
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Shh.
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Yes.
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The Little Richard Remote.
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When you're in distress,
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just take the transponder,
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press the red button
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and a signal will go
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to a microchip in
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Little Richard's brain.
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>> Microchip?
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Is that legal?
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>> Sure.
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You can take it for a spin.
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>> And so anyway, that's why
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I choked him.
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Where are my chicken fingers?
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(beep)
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Oh, I'm sorry if I stink
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a little bit, but it's only
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'cause I spent all afternoon
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stacking and clacking plates
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at the gym, AKA the Stackhouse.
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>> Shut up!
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Talk too damn much.
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None of that talking
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make you pretty.
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You think it does?
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Over there looking like a fat
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Don Cheadle.
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>> That's not fair--
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>> Shut up!
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Shut up!
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>> (crying)
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>> Woo!
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>> Thanks,
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Little Richard Remote.
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>> * What you gonna do
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* When people talk and boast?
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* Woo get your fat ass
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* The Little Richard Remote
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* Woo *
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Remote!
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Remote, woo!
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Remote...
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>> All right, okay,
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let me just...
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Little glitch.
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There we go, just...
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>> Shut up, baby!
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Everybody shut up!
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You all ugly,
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look at you eating!
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Eating food!
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Every single one of y'all
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and you're fat!
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>> Okay, it's an uprising.
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It's turned into
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a full uprising.
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>> I ain't cut nobody all day.
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Who trying to get cut?
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I'm gonna cut you
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and Michael Cera's baby!
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>> DEFCON 5.
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DEFCON 5, over.
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>> Tase him.
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>> Who trying to get killed
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like Michael--
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Woo!
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Ooh!
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Please don't put me in the box!
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**
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>> Your résumé
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isis very impressive.
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You're a frontrunner
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for the job.
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>> Oh, wow.
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Thank you so much.
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I just hope I can cross
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the finish line.
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Uh...
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Sorry... about that.
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I just--
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I--
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I don't have any diseases,
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if that makes it better.
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Uh, well...
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**
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>> And then they tried
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hand sanitizer!
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>> What is up, fellow germs?
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>> Oh, it's Dexter!
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>> Hey, so what's
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poppin' tonight?
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>> Dude, there's some chicken
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slime over by the sink.
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>> Whoa.
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>> I know.
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I'm talking about primo
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chicken slime.
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>> No, man, look!
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It's Johnny and Tommy
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Escherichia coli,
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two of the baddest germs
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on kitchen floor.
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**
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>> When those two combine,
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it's bad news.
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>> They are seriously
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one deadly duo.
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>> Sup, dorks?
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>> Don't think about hanging out
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in that chicken slime tonight.
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That is our turf.
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>> Come on, man!
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>> We had plans tonight!
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(booming)
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(all screaming)
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>> They are delicious, don't get
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me wrong, but a meatball is just
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not conducive to a sandwich,
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you know what I mean?
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I mean, it's a sphere within
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a rectangle, like, they should
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make the meat bread-shaped if
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anything, you know?
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>> Incoming!
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>> Prepare for impact, dudes!
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>> Due to my extensive research,
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once the meatball hits
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the ground,
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we have approximately
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five seconds to get on board.
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>> All right, germs, synchronize
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your germ watches.
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It's showtime!
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>> Go, go, go, go, go, go!
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**
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>> (yelling)
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>> (groaning)
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>> Damn it, this is exactly what
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I'm talking about, you know?
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It's just...
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**
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>> Good job, guys!
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Just hang on!
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>> We made it, man!
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>> Here we go!
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>> Johnny!
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>> Tommy!
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Stay on that meatball, brother!
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I'll find you!
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>> Johnny, no!
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>> Whoops. (chuckling)
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>> * I'm far from home
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* I'm all alone
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* With no place to go
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* Where is my bro?
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>> * I'm right here *
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>> You made it!
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How'd you get here?
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>> I got in through the butt.
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(solid tone)
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(woman crying)
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>> Shut up!
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Where y'all from?
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>> Spain.
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>> Spain?
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Callate!
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(distant sirens wailing)
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They coming!
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Shut up!
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Shut up!
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Shut up!
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**
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>> Come get your New York City
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hot dogs!
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I've been on 'em,
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I've been in 'em,
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I might've been in one of you.
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Who wants a hot dog?
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They've been swooshing
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in some water!
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I hang out here all the time.
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You should, too.
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And you.
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I've been in you before.
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>> Thank you very much.
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>> Oh!
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>> I don't know, Rel.
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I respect Michael Jordan
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and everything he's done
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for basketball,
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but his clothes are ugly.
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>> Yeah, no, it's just--
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It's just--
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They're very weird, you know?
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>> Look, you're not gonna be
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talking about a legend
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like that.
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>> It's just that they're
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objectively strange, man.
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They are.
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>> Let me tell you something.
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I'm from a city called Chicago.
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>> We know, we know that.
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>> And this is where
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the greatest basketball player
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of all time came from.
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>> You tell us all
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the time, man.
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>> Okay?
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And just because he dresses as
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fly as he can be, that don't
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give you no right to say
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anything mean about him.
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>> That's your opinion.
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>> But guess what?
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I'll explain it to you.
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In song.
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**
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* You be like
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* Oh
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* He's wack
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* Well you gonna get slapped
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* You talk about a legend
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* Like that
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* You best stay strapped
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* I go hard for Mike Jordan
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* Y'all can't ignore it
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* Shirt too big I wore them
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* All my jeans I tore them
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* Oh
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* Who me?
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* I wanna be like Mike
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* Polo shirts
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* With cargo shorts
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* Whether in broad daylight
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* Mike is a hero
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* Jackets like Neo
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* Matrix
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* Don't wanna be a zero
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* Get your Jordan on
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* Be like Mike
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* Be like Mike
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* Get your Jordan on
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* Baggy jeans
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* Baggy jeans
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* Get your Jordan on
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* Big ol' hats
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* Big ol' hats
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* Get your Jordan on
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* I'm rich
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* So it don't even matter
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* If I'm wack
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* Get your Jordan on
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* Sometimes I dream
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* That he is me
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* I won't look clean
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* In Jordan jeans
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* But style so fresh
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* Is hard to find
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* You only hating on it
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* Because it blows your mind
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* See the thing about Jordan
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* He's ahead of his time
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* But the beauty of it all
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* That he's also behind
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* Pair of Docs got you skeptical
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* I get why you don't
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* Get it though
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* Your weak brain
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* Couldn't understand
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* Four-dimension clothes.
297
00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:39,859
* Be like Mike
298
00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:40,590
* Be like Mike
299
00:07:40,594 --> 00:07:41,394
* Get your Jordan on
300
00:07:41,394 --> 00:07:42,404
* Baggy jeans
301
00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:43,325
* Baggy jeans
302
00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:44,200
* Get your Jordan on
303
00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:45,267
* Big ol' hats
304
00:07:45,265 --> 00:07:46,025
* Big ol' hats
305
00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:46,703
* Get your Jordan on
306
00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:47,330
* I'm rich
307
00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:48,674
* So it don't even matter
308
00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:49,339
* If I'm wack
309
00:07:49,336 --> 00:07:49,996
* Get your Jordan on
310
00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:50,773
* Be like Mike
311
00:07:50,771 --> 00:07:51,611
* Be like Mike
312
00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:52,435
* Get your Jordan on
313
00:07:52,439 --> 00:07:53,369
* Baggy jeans
314
00:07:53,373 --> 00:07:54,043
* Baggy jeans
315
00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:54,681
* Get your-- *
316
00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:55,735
>> Whoa.
317
00:07:58,512 --> 00:07:59,952
>> Yeah, man, that was a really
318
00:07:59,947 --> 00:08:02,117
weird thing to do.
319
00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:03,445
>> All right, so that's
320
00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:05,120
one plate of buttered hams.
321
00:08:05,118 --> 00:08:06,048
What can I get you, sir?
322
00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:06,923
>> Can I get a plate
323
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:07,760
of spaghetti that's just
324
00:08:07,755 --> 00:08:10,615
one long noodle?
325
00:08:10,624 --> 00:08:11,294
>> Let me talk to the chef.
326
00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:11,931
>> Thank you.
327
00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:12,955
>> You're welcome.
328
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:13,690
>> Dude, you do this every time.
329
00:08:13,694 --> 00:08:14,294
You know they don't have one
330
00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:14,964
plate of spaghetti
331
00:08:14,962 --> 00:08:15,602
that's just one noodle.
332
00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:16,226
>> Oh, they got it.
333
00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:17,129
>> No, they don't.
334
00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:18,130
They never have it.
335
00:08:18,131 --> 00:08:19,971
>> They'll have it.
336
00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:20,597
>> Hey.
337
00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:21,231
>> Hey.
338
00:08:21,234 --> 00:08:21,944
>> Okay, I'm sorry,
339
00:08:21,935 --> 00:08:23,435
but the chef says he can't make
340
00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:24,236
a plate of spaghetti
341
00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:25,607
that's one long noodle,
342
00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:26,806
but he can make you a plate of
343
00:08:26,807 --> 00:08:27,777
spaghetti that's
344
00:08:27,775 --> 00:08:28,735
multiple noodles.
345
00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:29,482
>> That's perfect,
346
00:08:29,476 --> 00:08:30,106
we'll do that.
347
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:30,780
>> Okay, that sounds good.
348
00:08:30,778 --> 00:08:31,478
>> Not perfect, 'cause that's
349
00:08:31,478 --> 00:08:33,478
not what I ordered.
350
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:35,420
I want one long noodle.
351
00:08:35,415 --> 00:08:36,615
Can you just get the chef
352
00:08:36,617 --> 00:08:37,247
for me, please?
353
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:37,920
Bring him out?
354
00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:38,548
>> Okay, yeah.
355
00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:41,222
>> Thank you.
356
00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:42,261
>> We're gonna have to leave.
357
00:08:42,255 --> 00:08:43,155
You're gonna make a scene.
358
00:08:43,156 --> 00:08:43,816
>> No, I want the--
359
00:08:43,824 --> 00:08:44,834
>> You're making a scene.
360
00:08:44,825 --> 00:08:45,625
>> Hey, sir.
361
00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:46,256
I want you to look me
362
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:47,129
in the eyes
363
00:08:47,127 --> 00:08:47,757
and tell me you don't have
364
00:08:47,761 --> 00:08:49,831
one giant noodle where all
365
00:08:49,830 --> 00:08:51,060
the spaghetti comes from.
366
00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:52,674
You don't have that?
367
00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:53,326
You're the fifth
368
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:54,173
restaurant that said--
369
00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:56,137
You are a liar and a coward!
370
00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:57,336
You're gonna lie to me right
371
00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:58,667
when my brother is right here?
372
00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:00,772
Bring me the (bleep) noodle!
373
00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:02,084
Go get the noodle.
374
00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:03,175
You got one long noodle.
375
00:09:03,176 --> 00:09:04,676
Bring me the noodle!
376
00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:05,948
I want the noodle!
377
00:09:05,946 --> 00:09:07,176
I want the queen noodle
378
00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:09,850
that's sitting back there!
379
00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:12,320
**
380
00:09:17,324 --> 00:09:21,234
**
381
00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:29,842
>> Afternoon.
382
00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:34,536
Can I get the Kung Pao chicken
383
00:09:34,541 --> 00:09:36,211
and ooh, ooh, some shrimp
384
00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:37,609
fried rice, shrimp fried rice.
385
00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:47,047
>> Whoa, brother Fred.
386
00:09:47,054 --> 00:09:48,894
I'm so glad you could join us.
387
00:09:48,889 --> 00:09:50,219
>> Join you?
388
00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:51,193
>> Yes, man, today's the big
389
00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:53,391
march and every face counts
390
00:09:53,393 --> 00:09:54,033
and hopefully
391
00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:55,057
by this time tomorrow,
392
00:09:55,062 --> 00:09:56,032
we'll all have our voting
393
00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:56,959
rights, huh?
394
00:09:56,964 --> 00:09:58,704
>> Yeah!
395
00:09:58,699 --> 00:09:59,729
>> You know, I forgot that
396
00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:00,733
was today.
397
00:10:00,734 --> 00:10:01,574
I'm sorry.
398
00:10:01,568 --> 00:10:02,698
>> Oh, wait a minute, brother.
399
00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:04,243
Well, it's of no consequence,
400
00:10:04,237 --> 00:10:05,367
'cause you are here now
401
00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:06,042
and we're all
402
00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:07,569
gonna march together!
403
00:10:07,574 --> 00:10:09,344
>> Yeah!
404
00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:11,752
>> Now-- Now?
405
00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:13,905
I just got this Chinese food.
406
00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:15,254
>> Oh, come on, Chinese food?
407
00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:16,018
Brother, we about
408
00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:16,846
to make history.
409
00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:18,390
The revolution will not wait,
410
00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:19,045
will it?
411
00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:19,722
>> No!
412
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:23,090
>> That's right.
413
00:10:23,090 --> 00:10:24,660
>> I want to sit down with
414
00:10:24,658 --> 00:10:26,358
a plate, okay?
415
00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:27,089
I can't just be digging chicken
416
00:10:27,094 --> 00:10:28,364
out of one container and rice
417
00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:29,161
out of another, man.
418
00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:30,102
I'm not an animal!
419
00:10:30,097 --> 00:10:31,397
>> Whoa!
420
00:10:31,398 --> 00:10:33,268
Calm down, brother.
421
00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:35,266
'Cause now I'm a little upset.
422
00:10:35,268 --> 00:10:37,498
You mean to tell me you want to
423
00:10:37,504 --> 00:10:38,944
jeopardize the future of an
424
00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:40,769
entire people over some
425
00:10:40,774 --> 00:10:42,244
Kung Pao chicken?
426
00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:45,451
>> I'm just saying, man,
427
00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:46,105
it's hard to walk and eat with
428
00:10:46,113 --> 00:10:46,753
chopsticks, man.
429
00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:47,407
Have you tried it, man?
430
00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:48,054
>> Oh, no, no it ain't.
431
00:10:48,048 --> 00:10:48,718
Come on, come on.
432
00:10:48,716 --> 00:10:49,376
Come with us.
433
00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:50,452
Everybody lock arms.
434
00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:53,950
* Amazing
435
00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:55,594
* Grace
436
00:10:55,588 --> 00:10:58,028
* How sweet
437
00:10:58,025 --> 00:11:00,755
* The sound *
438
00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:02,061
Lock in!
439
00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:02,962
>> All right!
440
00:11:02,963 --> 00:11:04,403
Break it up!
441
00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:05,397
>> Well, you heard the man.
442
00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:06,298
Shame really.
443
00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:07,099
Rules are rules.
444
00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:07,770
>> No, no, stay strong,
445
00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:08,438
brother, okay?
446
00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:09,095
You gotta--
447
00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:10,442
Gotta take the pain.
448
00:11:10,437 --> 00:11:12,537
>> You all should have listened.
449
00:11:12,539 --> 00:11:13,969
You brought this
450
00:11:13,974 --> 00:11:15,584
upon yourselves.
451
00:11:17,911 --> 00:11:20,411
(grunting)
452
00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:24,446
>> No!
453
00:11:27,755 --> 00:11:30,885
(crying)
454
00:11:30,891 --> 00:11:32,091
No!
455
00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:36,161
>> There are many proud tales of
456
00:11:36,163 --> 00:11:38,303
triumph and heroism during
457
00:11:38,298 --> 00:11:40,828
the Civil Rights movement,
458
00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:44,174
but there's also Fred.
459
00:11:44,171 --> 00:11:46,641
Fred would go on to achieve
460
00:11:46,639 --> 00:11:49,579
absolutely nothing in life
461
00:11:49,576 --> 00:11:51,076
and was looked down upon
462
00:11:51,078 --> 00:11:54,508
by his entire community.
463
00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:55,684
The Civil Rights Movement
464
00:11:55,682 --> 00:11:57,682
was a huge triumph,
465
00:11:57,684 --> 00:12:02,424
thanks in no part to Fred.
466
00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:05,332
**
467
00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:13,202
>> Can we talk about Kevin's
468
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:14,000
hair for a minute?
469
00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:15,101
>> No, why don't we not?
470
00:12:15,102 --> 00:12:15,772
>> You're too young
471
00:12:15,769 --> 00:12:17,539
for a natural, man.
472
00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:19,707
>> My haircut is timeless.
473
00:12:19,706 --> 00:12:20,366
>> Kevin go to the barber,
474
00:12:20,373 --> 00:12:22,483
like, give me the Ossie Davis!
475
00:12:22,475 --> 00:12:23,105
Can we get a--
476
00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:25,350
a Civil Rights lawyer?
477
00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:28,045
>> 1975 Heisman Trophy winner.
478
00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:28,718
>> Yeah, you know what?
479
00:12:28,715 --> 00:12:29,375
And those dudes
480
00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:30,722
looked pretty cool.
481
00:12:30,717 --> 00:12:31,377
>> You look like my father
482
00:12:31,384 --> 00:12:32,524
when he went to prom.
483
00:12:35,789 --> 00:12:37,519
**
484
00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:41,801
>> What about Jermaine?
485
00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:42,895
What's wrong with Jermaine?
486
00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:44,156
>> Everything's wrong with me.
487
00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:44,904
>> There isn't anything you can
488
00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:45,568
say about Jermaine that he
489
00:12:45,565 --> 00:12:46,565
hasn't said about
490
00:12:46,566 --> 00:12:47,396
himself already.
491
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:48,070
>> It's just-- It's hard to
492
00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:49,168
hurt a sociopath.
493
00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:50,899
>> Yeah, no, it's true.
494
00:12:50,904 --> 00:12:52,074
He wore this hat on camera,
495
00:12:52,072 --> 00:12:54,042
he's afraid of nothing.
496
00:12:54,041 --> 00:12:55,041
**
497
00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:05,420
(sent message ding)
498
00:13:05,418 --> 00:13:07,188
(faint received message alert)
499
00:13:12,259 --> 00:13:15,429
>> Gail?
500
00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:16,928
Did you mean to hit "reply all"
501
00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:17,600
and send that e-mail
502
00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:19,527
to the entire company?
503
00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:26,067
Do you really think I'm a fat
504
00:13:26,073 --> 00:13:28,243
dip (bleep), Gail?
505
00:13:32,612 --> 00:13:35,022
I've been trying a diet.
506
00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:35,675
What are you--
507
00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:36,382
What are you reaching for?
508
00:13:36,383 --> 00:13:37,753
What are you--
509
00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:38,420
>> I'm just looking
510
00:13:38,418 --> 00:13:39,448
for my flashbang.
511
00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:42,362
>> Your-- Your what?
512
00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:45,255
**
513
00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:54,001
**
514
00:13:56,203 --> 00:13:56,973
>> Hey, Patrice.
515
00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:57,640
>> We just got back
516
00:13:57,637 --> 00:13:58,637
from the gym.
517
00:13:58,638 --> 00:13:59,568
>> Where's Patrice?
518
00:13:59,572 --> 00:14:00,242
>> You see Patrice?
519
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:00,940
>> No.
520
00:14:00,941 --> 00:14:01,611
Hey.
521
00:14:01,608 --> 00:14:02,278
>> Pull that note.
522
00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:03,635
>> There's a note right here.
523
00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:05,383
>> Hey, Jiu Jitsu Bros,
524
00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:06,948
I got your girlfriend with me,
525
00:14:06,947 --> 00:14:07,977
with me right now.
526
00:14:07,981 --> 00:14:08,951
If you want her back,
527
00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:10,219
you're gonna have to fight me,
528
00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:12,147
until the death, until we die,
529
00:14:12,152 --> 00:14:13,622
at the Blackfist tournament.
530
00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:14,490
>> Damn!
531
00:14:14,487 --> 00:14:15,457
>> Billy Karate.
532
00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:17,315
>> Billy Karate.
533
00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:18,334
>> We gotta go get her.
534
00:14:18,325 --> 00:14:19,155
>> We gotta save her.
535
00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:19,789
>> Hey, what--
536
00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:20,462
>> Hey.
537
00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:21,160
>> You see Patrice?
538
00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:21,831
>> No.
539
00:14:21,828 --> 00:14:22,758
Patrice, where are you?
540
00:14:22,762 --> 00:14:23,502
>> Patrice!
541
00:14:23,496 --> 00:14:24,226
>> Patrice!
542
00:14:24,231 --> 00:14:25,171
>> Where are you?
543
00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:26,165
>> Where is Patrice!
544
00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:26,826
>> Patrice!
545
00:14:26,833 --> 00:14:27,803
>> Where are you, Patrice?
546
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:28,440
>> Hey.
547
00:14:28,435 --> 00:14:29,795
>> Jiu Jitsu Brothers!
548
00:14:29,802 --> 00:14:31,102
>> Hey, Billy Karate,
549
00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:31,774
what's going on?
550
00:14:31,771 --> 00:14:32,511
>> What up, Billy Karate?
551
00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:33,235
>> I'm good, I'm good.
552
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:34,270
Hey, you got my postcard?
553
00:14:34,274 --> 00:14:35,014
>> Yeah, we got it, thanks for
554
00:14:35,008 --> 00:14:35,838
inviting us.
555
00:14:35,842 --> 00:14:37,952
>> No problem, boy-os.
556
00:14:37,945 --> 00:14:40,005
Oh, I got Patrice, by the way.
557
00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:40,683
>> Help me Marvin
558
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:42,150
or help me Jarvis.
559
00:14:42,149 --> 00:14:43,319
>> Oh, yeah, let her go.
560
00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:44,846
>> I wish I could, but you gotta
561
00:14:44,851 --> 00:14:45,521
fight me first.
562
00:14:45,518 --> 00:14:46,188
>> All right,
563
00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:46,986
I guess that's reasonable.
564
00:14:46,987 --> 00:14:47,817
>> That's reasonable, it's fair.
565
00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:48,460
>> That's cool, that good?
566
00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:49,115
>> Sounds great.
567
00:14:49,122 --> 00:14:52,332
>> High-five it.
568
00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:53,085
Let the Blackfist
569
00:14:53,093 --> 00:14:55,703
tournament begin!
570
00:14:55,695 --> 00:14:56,855
**
571
00:14:56,863 --> 00:14:59,203
>> Fight!
572
00:14:59,199 --> 00:15:00,199
You missed me, you stupid ass
573
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:03,540
mother (bleep)!
574
00:15:03,536 --> 00:15:04,766
Come at me!
575
00:15:07,274 --> 00:15:10,744
(slow clapping)
576
00:15:16,549 --> 00:15:17,219
It's John Kreese
577
00:15:17,217 --> 00:15:19,187
from "Karate Kid"!
578
00:15:19,186 --> 00:15:19,816
>> You're (bleep) right,
579
00:15:19,819 --> 00:15:21,149
Billy Karate,
580
00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:23,364
and the Jiu Jitsu Brothers.
581
00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:24,656
I'm here to challenge you all
582
00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:26,287
to a fight in this
583
00:15:26,293 --> 00:15:28,333
Blackfist tournament,
584
00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:30,298
because I want your belt.
585
00:15:30,297 --> 00:15:31,197
>> Oh, my God!
586
00:15:31,198 --> 00:15:32,398
The Cobra Kai dojo
587
00:15:32,399 --> 00:15:33,399
in its entirety!
588
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:34,370
Oh, this is crazy, man.
589
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:35,037
Oh, my God--
590
00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:35,665
Listen.
591
00:15:35,668 --> 00:15:37,168
Unfortunately, the tournament's
592
00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:38,510
for blacks only,
593
00:15:38,505 --> 00:15:40,135
so you can't fight.
594
00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:41,980
>> That's reverse racism, Billy.
595
00:15:41,975 --> 00:15:43,035
Damn it, it is reverse--
596
00:15:43,043 --> 00:15:44,083
ain't it?
597
00:15:44,077 --> 00:15:44,807
All right.
598
00:15:44,811 --> 00:15:46,181
We'll fight you.
599
00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:47,809
>> Let's fight, (bleep).
600
00:15:52,419 --> 00:15:54,949
(scattered grunting)
601
00:15:59,859 --> 00:16:00,759
>> Ahh!
602
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,000
Ahh, we are outnumbered, boy.
603
00:16:02,996 --> 00:16:04,156
>> All right, peace, brother.
604
00:16:04,164 --> 00:16:04,834
>> Yeah, we're out of here.
605
00:16:04,831 --> 00:16:05,501
>> You guys leaving?
606
00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:06,168
>> Yeah, we gotta--
607
00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:06,766
Hey, nice meeting you.
608
00:16:06,766 --> 00:16:07,496
>> You got money--
609
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:08,940
>> Yeah, nice seeing you guys.
610
00:16:08,935 --> 00:16:10,095
>> Y'all got money for a cab?
611
00:16:10,103 --> 00:16:11,073
>> Yeah, we got it, we got it.
612
00:16:11,071 --> 00:16:12,111
>> All right, be good.
613
00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:14,765
>> Let me help you up, Billy.
614
00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:15,584
>> All right, it's time for me
615
00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:18,405
to call for backup!
616
00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:20,111
(instrument playing)
617
00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:21,613
Calling all the fighting spirits
618
00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:22,884
of every black martial artist
619
00:16:22,882 --> 00:16:24,422
in the universe!
620
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:26,547
Jar Jar Binks, Wendy Williams,
621
00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:28,363
Panthro from Thundercats,
622
00:16:28,355 --> 00:16:30,615
help Billy Karate!
623
00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:31,293
>> I don't know what you're
624
00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:32,231
doing there, Billy,
625
00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:33,585
but you're through.
626
00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:35,133
I'm just gonna drive the bridge
627
00:16:35,128 --> 00:16:35,758
of your nose right up
628
00:16:35,762 --> 00:16:37,262
through your brain.
629
00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:42,298
>> Ron Artest?
630
00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:43,042
>> Hey, fool, my name is
631
00:16:43,036 --> 00:16:44,136
Tiny Lister!
632
00:16:44,137 --> 00:16:45,037
>> What up, Ronnie?
633
00:16:45,038 --> 00:16:45,738
>> Hey, buddy, I heard you need
634
00:16:45,738 --> 00:16:46,638
some help.
635
00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:47,709
>> Who's spreading rumors?
636
00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:48,577
>> Hey, I'm gonna kick
637
00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:49,805
everybody's ass!
638
00:16:49,809 --> 00:16:50,639
>> I'm excited.
639
00:16:50,643 --> 00:16:52,083
Do it!
640
00:16:52,079 --> 00:16:53,649
>> Come here!
641
00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:55,316
>> Aggh!
642
00:16:55,315 --> 00:16:58,215
>> He dead.
643
00:16:58,218 --> 00:16:58,988
>> If you're gonna hit me,
644
00:16:58,985 --> 00:17:00,585
hit me!
645
00:17:02,822 --> 00:17:04,092
>> You ready for a body bag?
646
00:17:04,091 --> 00:17:06,061
>> Hey, we already got Patrice,
647
00:17:06,059 --> 00:17:07,159
so we're just gonna leave,
648
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:07,830
if that's cool.
649
00:17:07,827 --> 00:17:09,157
>> Okay, be good.
650
00:17:09,162 --> 00:17:10,432
Hey, are you two twins?
651
00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:11,060
>> I think so.
652
00:17:11,064 --> 00:17:11,664
>> All right, later.
653
00:17:11,664 --> 00:17:12,574
>> All right, bye.
654
00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:13,825
>> Hey guys,
655
00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:15,143
y'all wanna carpool home?
656
00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:15,895
>> Man, shut up, Deebo,
657
00:17:15,902 --> 00:17:17,302
you talk too much.
658
00:17:24,077 --> 00:17:25,807
**
659
00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:30,251
(whistle blowing)
660
00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:31,550
>> Go long!
661
00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:35,787
>> What?
662
00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:43,930
**
663
00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:46,830
(sniffing)
664
00:17:48,801 --> 00:17:49,671
>> Thank God this ride is
665
00:17:49,669 --> 00:17:51,499
a short one.
666
00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:54,314
(elevator rumbling)
667
00:17:54,307 --> 00:17:55,777
>> It looks like this journey
668
00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:59,545
will take longer than expected.
669
00:17:59,546 --> 00:18:02,976
**
670
00:18:02,982 --> 00:18:03,652
>> Dude, why'd you hit
671
00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:04,450
the emergency stop?
672
00:18:04,451 --> 00:18:05,121
>> Because a crime
673
00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:06,318
was committed here
674
00:18:06,319 --> 00:18:07,219
and I, Detective
675
00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:09,460
Frederique Q. Barneswaggle,
676
00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:11,056
intend on solving it.
677
00:18:11,057 --> 00:18:12,287
>> Okay, farting's really gross,
678
00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:14,462
but it's not a crime.
679
00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:15,561
>> Oh, I beg to differ.
680
00:18:15,562 --> 00:18:17,332
Let's start with you, sir.
681
00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:18,300
>> Start with what?
682
00:18:18,298 --> 00:18:19,328
I have a surgical consultation
683
00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:20,132
in five minutes.
684
00:18:20,133 --> 00:18:22,203
>> Hmmm...
685
00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:23,742
High-pressure job leads to
686
00:18:23,736 --> 00:18:26,536
stress, stress leads to gas.
687
00:18:26,539 --> 00:18:27,509
Doctor, did you use this
688
00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:28,737
opportunity to let off
689
00:18:28,741 --> 00:18:31,141
a little steam?
690
00:18:31,144 --> 00:18:32,854
>> I did not.
691
00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:34,305
Get away from me.
692
00:18:34,314 --> 00:18:35,084
>> You there!
693
00:18:35,081 --> 00:18:36,851
With the yoga mat.
694
00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:38,219
What is your daily raw
695
00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:40,418
cal consumption?
696
00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:41,690
>> I only fart in class, man,
697
00:18:41,688 --> 00:18:43,218
you can ask the streets.
698
00:18:43,223 --> 00:18:43,893
>> Yo, this is
699
00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:44,660
the fire department.
700
00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:45,427
Is everyone okay?
701
00:18:45,425 --> 00:18:46,085
>> No!
702
00:18:46,092 --> 00:18:47,062
>> No, no, no!
703
00:18:47,059 --> 00:18:48,329
>> Hush!
704
00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:49,758
No, a crime was committed on
705
00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:51,102
this elevator!
706
00:18:51,097 --> 00:18:51,757
>> Really?
707
00:18:51,764 --> 00:18:53,074
Is it like smoke and flames?
708
00:18:53,065 --> 00:18:54,265
>> Oh, no.
709
00:18:54,267 --> 00:18:55,437
Just farts.
710
00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:56,635
>> What, sir? It's illegal to--
711
00:18:59,206 --> 00:19:00,906
>> And you.
712
00:19:00,907 --> 00:19:02,937
Watery eyes.
713
00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:06,452
Sallow complexion...
714
00:19:06,446 --> 00:19:08,676
Hungover, I presume.
715
00:19:08,681 --> 00:19:10,621
>> No, someone farted
716
00:19:10,617 --> 00:19:11,747
and that pipe...
717
00:19:11,751 --> 00:19:12,621
that's what's making
718
00:19:12,619 --> 00:19:14,119
my eyes blurry.
719
00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:16,090
Yes, I am hungover.
720
00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:19,288
>> Soy, coffee, cream, tea!
721
00:19:19,292 --> 00:19:20,292
You might as well be eating
722
00:19:20,293 --> 00:19:22,633
farts for breakfast.
723
00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:24,129
Look, you all had motive,
724
00:19:24,130 --> 00:19:26,900
you all had an opportunity.
725
00:19:26,899 --> 00:19:27,899
And you all look like you have
726
00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:29,370
stinky farts.
727
00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:30,869
Are you some type of cowboy
728
00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:32,470
of some sort?
729
00:19:32,472 --> 00:19:33,972
>> No, sir, I work at Shell Oil.
730
00:19:33,973 --> 00:19:34,643
>> And what do you do in your
731
00:19:34,641 --> 00:19:35,441
spare time?
732
00:19:35,442 --> 00:19:36,812
>> I judge chili cook-offs,
733
00:19:36,809 --> 00:19:37,479
but I--
734
00:19:37,477 --> 00:19:38,277
>> And what did you eat
735
00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:39,578
for breakfast?
736
00:19:39,579 --> 00:19:40,909
>> A couple pickled eggs
737
00:19:40,913 --> 00:19:41,553
from the gas station--
738
00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:43,578
>> Quiet!
739
00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:44,623
It seems we have come
740
00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:45,917
into an impasse.
741
00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:46,588
>> You know what they say,
742
00:19:46,586 --> 00:19:47,216
the first one
743
00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:48,590
observed it, served it.
744
00:19:48,588 --> 00:19:49,258
>> Yeah, the first one that
745
00:19:49,256 --> 00:19:50,716
denied it, supplied it.
746
00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:52,163
>> Plus, you did just lock us in
747
00:19:52,158 --> 00:19:53,458
the elevator with a fart like
748
00:19:53,460 --> 00:19:54,330
some madman.
749
00:19:54,327 --> 00:19:57,257
>> That's insane!
750
00:19:57,264 --> 00:19:59,404
Okay, I am on a tireless quest
751
00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:00,629
to uncover the culprit
752
00:20:00,633 --> 00:20:01,573
and I will--
753
00:20:01,568 --> 00:20:02,838
(farting)
754
00:20:02,835 --> 00:20:04,365
>> Oh!
755
00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:09,480
>> Oh, my God.
756
00:20:09,476 --> 00:20:10,936
I can smell it in my nose.
757
00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:12,853
I can smell it inside my nose.
758
00:20:12,845 --> 00:20:13,645
Oh, God!
759
00:20:13,646 --> 00:20:16,076
It's terrible.
760
00:20:16,082 --> 00:20:18,522
>> Shall we, Doctor?
761
00:20:18,518 --> 00:20:20,748
>> Wait a minute.
762
00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:21,353
You're the patient I'm
763
00:20:21,354 --> 00:20:23,164
supposed to be seeing?
764
00:20:25,024 --> 00:20:26,994
>> Yeah, man, um...
765
00:20:26,993 --> 00:20:27,633
I need my butthole
766
00:20:27,627 --> 00:20:29,357
sewed immediately.
767
00:20:29,362 --> 00:20:31,762
It's court-ordered.
768
00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:33,834
**
769
00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:35,273
(whistle blowing)
770
00:20:35,268 --> 00:20:35,938
>> Open!
771
00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:37,195
I'm open!
772
00:20:37,203 --> 00:20:38,103
>> Whoa!
773
00:20:38,104 --> 00:20:39,444
>> What?!
774
00:20:42,208 --> 00:20:42,878
>> Yeah, baby!
775
00:20:42,875 --> 00:20:43,875
Yeah, baby!
776
00:20:43,876 --> 00:20:46,046
Yeah, baby!
777
00:20:46,045 --> 00:20:49,145
(all laughing)
778
00:20:52,385 --> 00:20:53,445
(both grunting)
45726
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