All language subtitles for The.Larry.Sanders.Show.S02E07_English

Arthur:
Let's go now.
We don't want to keep

our friends
from the network waiting.

Larry: We don't?
No, we don't.

Well, I do.
I want to keep 'em waiting.

No, you're going to be
a good boy

and listen to all
the suggestions about

who they'd like to see host

this new 12:30 talk show
that follows us.

Fine. How long do I have to
pretend to listen.

Oh, please, Larry.

Don't piss all over
their suggestions.

I am, I'm gonna
piss all over 'em.

Try to show
a little restraint.

And then when they feel,
as network executives,

that they've done
their jobs,

you will tell them who
the host is really going to be.

Let me ask you
something.

Do you think when
Johnny Carson...
Yeah?

picked David Letterman
to go after him at 12:30,

he went through
this shit?

Hell, no.
Nobody fucked with Johnny.

Exactly.

Before we get started here,
I just want to tell you

that we're all really
looking forward to seeing you

at the American Television
Awards tomorrow night.

Yeah. (chuckling)
That's just
what America needs,

another fucking award show.

Political bullshit.

You kiss somebody's ass

and they send your name
to the engravers.

Yeah, I prefer just
to do the work

and let the work
speak for itself,

not get caught up
in stuff.

Yeah, that's right,
but Larry, listen,

I-I understand
you have a very good,

uh, very good shot
at it this year.

Really?
Yeah.

Will they send
a limo?

Town car.

Oh, good.

Much less gaudy.

Could we get down
to the business at hand here?

Yeah, uh, Larry, Arthur,

the 12:30 slot
is wide open.

Larry: Mm-hmm.
Now, our only competition

so far is, uh,
Conan O'Brien.

Does anyone know who

they're putting on
after Letterman?

No, they're keeping that
under real tight wraps.

The important thing
is who's going on

after Mr. Larry Sanders?

We have put together
a list

of possible
host candidates

that we're sure
you're gonna be very,
very excited about.

Larry:
Well, good, good.
I'm all ears.

Well, now,
the affiliates

have already approved
all of these.

Okay, first up,
uh, Bob Saget.

Bob Saget, good name.
Hey!

Excellent name,
gee.

But, he's already doing
a couple of shows.

Wouldn't this be
too much for him?

Bob is a mule.

Well, how about
Dave Coulier?

Who?
(clears throat)

Dave Coulier.

You're just raiding
the cast

of "Full House,"
huh?

You should check into
the Olsen twins.

I hear once
their parents

go to sleep,
they're wild.

Ha!
Really? Well, I'll check,

see if they're interested.
Okay.

Melanie, if I may...
Oh, please.
Please do.

Okay, as executive
producer of this show,

and a talk show
host himself,

I think I know
what it takes

to have a successful
talk show.

I have a couple
of ideas, uh...

You-- you have
somebody in mind?

Yeah, mm-hmm.

Who?
(Larry sighing)

Bobcat Goldthwait.

Larry: What's wrong?
Uh...

The affiliates have already
rejected that name, Larry.

Is he the guy that makes
the animal noises?

Well, I knew you were gonna
say that right off the bat,

but that's just one
of his colors.

He actually doesn't do
that voice all the time.

He's a very funny guy.

Yeah, yeah, Larry,
you know, uh...

there's a lot
of funny out there,

and we're just--
we're looking

for the right kind
of funny.

You know, Dennis, I think
the kind of funny that...

(clears throat)
Uh, Artie?

Larry feels very strongly
about this,

and I agree with him.
Now, let's all

get together and close ranks
behind Larry.

Let's take a good look
at "Tomcat."

Bobcat.
Whatever.

The affiliates are never
gonna go for this.

Well, look, I have
a great relationship

with the affiliates.

Let me sell it
to 'em.

You think Mr. Goldthwait
would be willing

to do some sort
of presentation?

I don't see why not.

I mean, if they don't
approve it, Larry,

it can't fly.
It's that simple.

Sure, no,
I understand that.

But Bob is very
gung-ho about this.

I'm sure he would
be happy to.

He's a hungry performer.
Yeah.

That's what you want.
That's what we want.

Okay, then, let's keep
a tight lid on this.

Hey, Kevin.

Larry.
Hey, man.

Good to see ya,
good to see ya.
How are you?

What are you doing here?

Oh, just passing
through town.
Yeah?

Doing my film.
Yeah.
Oh.

What film?
You doing "Coneheads"?

Hans--
No, "Hans and Franz."

Oh, well,
that'll be good too.

Yeah.
"Hans and Franz."

Are you Hans or Franz?

Franz...
Hans.

Franz, no, Franz.
Carvey's-- Carvey's Hans.

Franz is
the funny one.
Yeah.

(laughter)

So, anyway, uh...
Hey, listen, I heard

that you're looking
at Saget and Coulier

to do the 12:30 slot.

Where'd you hear that?
Carvey.

Carvey should get
a fuckin' hobby.

Let me just tell you,
that "Hans and Franz" thing,

that's just
a character idea.

Normally what I do best
is talking to people,

interacting, you know.
I mean, that's a big part

of my act,
talking to people.

You listening to me?
I mean, it's what I do.

Yeah, no, you're talking
about interacting
with people, right?

Right, it's like what
we're doing right now.

I'm talking, you're-- you know.
Look, I'm a big fan.

You know I love you,
but, uh...
Right.

the network wants
Bobcat Goldthwait

(laughing)
for the 12:30 slot.

Bobcat?
Uh-huh.

That's funny. Was Gallagher
tied up or something?

(laughter)

I think Bobcat
will be good.

(elevator dings)

Bobcat Gold--
you are serious.
Mm-hmm, yeah.

But, listen,
let's, uh...

let's get together
and talk soon.

Really?
Yeah.

About the late night slot?

Hey, Artie...

Hey, hey, hey,
what the fuck is going on?

I thought we were--
What is this?

"Sanders Tabs Saget
For 12:30 Gab Comedy Fest"?

I thought we were keeping
a tight lid on this?

Well, we did.
They didn't.

It's the front page.

I don't need this kind
of pressure, Artie.

All right, I'm sure this
is the end of it, Larry.

Gilbert Gottfried called,
Bob Saget called,

Allan Havey called--
several times.

Louie Anderson,
Steven Wright,

Robert Klein,
and Sinbad.

Goddamn hyenas.
I'll take care of these.

What, was David Brenner
out of the country?

Oh... David Brenner
sent brownies.

What does the American
Television Award look like?

Do you know?
Well, it's probably

a statue of a guy
with his head

halfway up
another guy's ass.

I already have
a fountain like that.

Yeah.

You know, I would like--
also like the--

This is it, gentlemen.
This is fucking it!

The seeds of disrespect
for Hank Kingsley

that have been sown
so liberally around this office

have finally
come to bloom.

Does the left one look
longer than the right one?
Absolutely, Vito.

Artie: Got it?
Can we, uh...

Can we, uh...

Oh.
Bring it up
about a quarter--

Please?
I'll ask you--

Excuse us for a second.
Come back... in a second.

Thanks, Vito.
Don't forget...

Hank: Thank you, Vito.
to take care of him after.

Yeah, well sure,
when he gets back.

Look at this.
What the hell is that?

Is that
that horse shit

fan club newsletter
of yours?
Yes.

How many times
I have to tell you

about using office supplies
and equipment

to put out
this goddamn thing?

Please, Arthur,
I'm trying to find

a local printer who can
handle the volume.

Well, that's what
you told me six months ago.

For the love of God,

I cannot talk
about this now, Arthur.

I just--
I just can't!

What?
"Hank's Thoughts"?

Yes-- no.

"Hank's Memories"?
Yes.

"I remember
those winter days

"when I'd return home
from my paper route,

"my toes and fingers dead
from the cold.

"How I wanted
to quit that job,

"but whenever
I mentioned it to Mom,

"she always said
the same thing...

"'Hank, you must always
remember,

penis, vagina.'"
Ooh.

"Penis, vagina.
Penis, vagina."

What the hell is this,
Hank?

God, it is unbelievable,
isn't it?

Yeah, I mean...

This is the same thing
my mom used to say to me.

(laughter)

What are the odds
of that?

That's not--
that's not funny, Larry,

because at this very moment
our nation's postal service

is carrying
over 4,000 of these

to homes all over
America.

4,000 on our Xerox?

Paper doesn't grow on trees
you know, Mister.

Why didn't you
proof this, Hank?

Well, that is, uh,
Darlene's job.

Isn't that right,
Darlene?

I'm sorry, Hank.

I want the person
who did this.

I want a head on my plate
by the end of this business day,

because some scumbag,

some useless piece
of humanity

is responsible
for this.
It's awful.

So, it wasn't you,
Lar?

You...
No, I didn't.

Hank, we've got
bigger fish to fry.

Oh, well... excuse me.

(laughing)
Oh, God.

Enjoying your handiwork?
That's kind of a crude way

to expand your readership,
isn't it Hank?

Shut your mouth,
you little shit.
Hey!

Well, I guess we know
which side of the family

you get
that mouth from.

You listen to me--

Just control yourself,
Hank.

Okay, Phil, I appreciate
a good "penis, vagina" joke

as much as the next man,
but, uh... (clicks tongue)

You think I did this?

It screams you.

It screams "penis, vagina"
more than anything.

Come on, Phil.

I didn't do this.

I swear to you, Hank.

I admire the idea,
but the execution is sophomoric.

I mean, if I were gonna
do something like that,

I would have said
like, uh...

you come home from a hard
day at the paper route

and your mom's
standing there,

and she has a very thin
dressing gown on,

and it slips open
and all--
Phil!

Easy. He didn't do it.
Let it go.

Where's Jerry?
Listen, you just simmer down.

Now, you go handle this
with Jerry yourself.

I'm talking to affiliates,
goddammit.

Steven Wright:
Larry, I know

I don't have to
tell you this,

but I'm a people person.
Right.

I like people.

I like to ask people
questions,

and I like
to have other people watch

when I'm doing that.

(clears throat)
Look, Steven,

the network is leaning
towards Bobcat Goldthwait.

It's--
I think you'd be great,

but there's nothing
I can do.

My hands are over
a barrel on this one.

Goldthwait?
Yes.

Bobcat Goldthwait.

He-- that guy has such
a weird energy.

Jerry.

Hey, Hank,
how's it going?

How's it going?
Yeah.

How's it going?
Yeah.

Well, I read my fan club
newsletter this morning,

so how do you think
it's going?

I don't know.

Hey, can you hang out
for a second?

Oh, sure.
I can hang out.

Long enough to say,
"penis, vagina."

(chuckles)
Penis, vagina!

Penis, vagina!

Uh, Hank?
Penis, vagina!

Penis, vagina!
Penis, vagina!

Doesn't sound so clever
when it gets thrown

right back in your face,
does it, Mr. Penis Vagina?

Uh, Hank, this is my mom,
Miss Shirley Capen.

Uh, this is Hank Kingsley.

How do you do?
How do you do?

Wow, what a pleasure it is
to meet the mother of a...

very talented young man.

Uh, you in town to,
uh...

uh, visit Jerry?

No, I'm here
with my church group

for a Bible study
conference.

(softly)
Okay, okay.

I gotta run, uh...

'cause I have some toast
in the toasterette.

Not the toasterette,
the kit-- the kitchenette.

And, um...
a pleasure.

Hey, so listen, things have been
going great for you.

You've got the TV series
coming up with Rickles.

With Rickles, yeah, yeah.
That is great.

Yeah.
And you're also
in the movie

"Robin Hood:
Men in Tights."

Yeah, Mel Brooks
is filming.

So you must
be happy?

Yeah, well, you know,
I want to--

you know, 'cause that's not
my whole life.

I want-- I'd like
to have a wife,

you know, eventually,
you know?
Yeah. Yeah, sure.

I'll be like 111
when I have a kid
in little league,

you know, and, uh...
(audience laughter)

Plus, like,
I can't relax with, uh...

I don't know about you,
but, uh...

well, forget him.

But, you know, I can't--
I go on a date,

I mean, I even--
on a blind date,

I insist we go to like,
you know,

counseling on the way.
(audience laughter)

You know what I mean?

So, I don't know if
it's ever gonna happen for me.

Yeah, we'll talk
about it later.

We'll come right back.

Stay tuned.
Very funny.

(cheering and applause)

Okay, we'll be right back.

Man:
Clear!

Hey, are we--
we doing okay?

Yeah, did I get
all the plugs in?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Was I-- was I all right?

Yeah, good, fine.
Great.

So, it's been a while.
Yeah.

What's new with you?
Huh?

Give me a break.

What?
Come on.

Bob Goldthwait's doing
the 12:30 show, okay?

Look, you're good
and everything like that.

I think you're really
talented,

but my hands
are tied on this one.

He's doing it.
The position's filled.

What, you think
that I--

that I want that slot?

Duh.

Oh, Larry, come on,
what are you, crazy?

I mean, you're joking,
right?

Come on, I got-- I got--
I got a series.

I-I'm doing movies.

And besides, you know,

who in their right mind
wants to do a talk show

five nights a week?
You.

Do you really mean--

What are you doing, man.
What are you-- what?

What am I doing?
What are you doing?

This-- God, this 12:30 thing
is really--

God, it's really making you
into like a different guy.

What is going on with you?

I mean, what do I mean?
Come--

How long have
I known you,

like 15 years?
Mm-hmm.

Well, you're finally--
you're changing.

You're not even
yourself any--

You know, I ran into
Steven Wright and--

and Kevin Nealon, and--
and they told me about this,

but I didn't
want to believe this.

Won't you excuse me?

Hey, Hank.
How you been?

I haven't seen you
in a while.

Awful.

Someone's been tampering
with "Hank's Memories."

Wow.
Sorry.

Sid.

Sid, the cue card guy.

Huh?

I, uh... I cut him off
in the parking lot

last year during
the holiday season.

That's my man.

But, what to do?
Yeah.

You know,
these awards tonight,

you really think we have
a chance of winning?

Yes, I do.
Yeah?

You know, me too.

I would like to accept
this very gracious recognition.

Thank you very much.

(applause, band playing)

Hey, are you--
can I use this?

Larry, how you doing?
Oh, hey, Dave.

Hey, congratulations
on that.
Thank you very much.

Good to see you.
Nice to see you.

How you doing?
Doing good.

Boy, you lost
a lot of weight.

Yeah, 80 pounds.
I was up around 280.

I'm down to about
200 now.

But I feel good.
Yeah, you look good.

Thank you very much.
CBS make you lose
that weight?

Yeah!
(laughter)

How you been?
Good.

Yeah, yeah.
Good, good.

I'm having trouble...

a lot of trouble finding
one of those guys

to take the 12:30 spot
after me.

Me too.
It's killing me.
Boy, it's fucked.

There's only a handful
of guys that can do it.

Driving me nuts,
yeah, yeah.

Who you thinking about?
I can't tell you.

Well, come on.
No, I can't, I'm sorry.

Come on,
there's no one around.

No, I know
there's no one--

Who you thinking about?

I'll tell you who
we're leaning towards.

I would tell you
if I could.

You want a straw--?
No thanks.

Who-- who are you
thinkin' about, though?

Uh, uh...
It's a big deal.

It's a big responsibility.
Well, we're leaning towards,

Bobcat Goldthwait, actually.
Oh.

The-- he's great.
The animal...?
Yeah, I think he's--

The "ah, ah, ah"?
He shouts, and I think

it would be good going
into a commercial break.

"We'll be right back!"
Yeah.

Yeah, that's cute.
I like that.

Bobcat.
Who're you thinking
about?

Come on.
I can't tell you.

Come on.
Come on.

Just between us.
I can't tell you.

Who you thinking about?

What did I say?
Did I say I can't tell you?

If I could, I would.

Yeah.
Come on, you should
be on a high right now.

You're moving.
This is gonna be great.

Who you thinking about?
Tom Snyder.

But don't tell anyone.
Oh, come on.

Tom Snyder.
Come on.

Tomorrow, Tom Snyder.

No.
Yeah. Tom Snyder.

The original
Tom Snyder?
Yes.

The guy you--
Yeah.

His hair is back.
He's ready to go.
Wow.

Tom Snyder.
I'm shocked.

No, it's gonna be great.
God.

No, we're very happy
with it.

Dick Cavett tied up?
I couldn't answer to that.

Yeah.
Well, good luck.
I think it'll be great.

Listen, I'm sorry
about that, uh,

you didn't win
tonight.
Ye-- yeah.

I'm glad you got that.
You deserve that.

Well, I'm happy.
You know, I'm happy.

It's a nice little pat
on the back,

but the thing
I admire about you,

you're the kind of guy,
this is not important
to you.

The awards mean nothing to me.
What's important to you
is the work.

And thank goodness
for you
Yeah.

and your friends
and family.

You can go out
every night...
Yeah.

and prove yourself
all over.

And you get that feeling
of accomplishment
and satisfaction.

That's exactly how I feel.
And that's the best thing.

The award is not really
that important, is it?

No, I-- yeah, no, no.
Yeah.

What is that?
Is it heavy?

This is one of those
rare moments in my life

when I know now I can
do something for you

that I think will mean
a great deal.

You want a--
Take the award.

I'm not kidding around
this time.

Take it, please.

It would mean a lot
to me to take it.

Go ahead.
Okay.

You're insane!
See?

Fucker.
Boy, oh boy,
are you nuts!

You're a fucker.
I've never seen
a guy like you.

You're a fucker.
Wow!

Good luck with
that Snyder thing.
Yeah, sure.

Now, listen, the affiliates
are to the--

to my left, all right?
Don-- don't look!

And, uh, I just want you
to go out and have--

Is there anything
I can do?

No, you've already
done a lot.

I mean, giving me this is--
it's pretty cool, thanks.

All right, 'cause I think
you're gonna do great.

I just want you to have fun,
because just remember,

as far as I'm concerned,
this is a done deal.

All right?
Thank you.

Okay.
Thanks.

Hey, and welcome to
the Bobcat Goldthwait show!

That's me, Bobcat.

And, um, please watch
or I'll come to your house.

See, and then--
like, the show's not gonna

be like any other show.

I'm not even gonna have
real chairs.

These are like fake chairs.
I'm gonna have bean bag chairs,

and I'm not even
gonna have a desk.

I'm gonna have
a bean bag desk, right?

So, let's say
a guest comes on,

puts a beverage
on the bean bag desk

and it gets
all wobbly.

That'll be funny,
right?

And then, like, okay,

I have--
let's say, Madonna...

Who's the guy
in the golf slacks?

Oh, that's great
Artie Hankins,

the Kansas City
affiliate.

Super guy.
Yeah? Good.

Bobcat:
And she'll go,

"Why, thank you,
Bobcat.

I've always been
attracted to you."

And I'll go, "Oh, thank you
very much, Madonna.

I've always been
a big fan of your work."

"Oh, no, no problem.
It's-- you're kind of a--

You know, I consider you
date bait."

But, it'd be Madonna,

it wouldn't
actually be me.

And then
there'll be a band.

(screaming)
I don't know--

I don't have
a theme written yet.

Excuse me.
Right? But something
like that.

And then, another thing
I want to do--

Larry: Bob?
Uh, Bob...

Wait, no-- Wednesday
is no pants night.

I don't care who
the guest is,

they're not wearing
pants!

That's a great one.
Hey, uh, listen, Bob,

uh, are you gonna do
any of this

in your real voice
or what?

What, I-- I--

Are you turning
on me too?

No, no, I'm not turning
on you, I just think, uh...

I can't get enough
of this character,

you know I love it.
But the affiliates,

why, I think
that they, uh,

they want to know
that you're something

other than just
that character.

They think that's you.
They think it's kind of--

They think you're crazy.

You want me to take it
down a little bit?

Well, you know, could you
take it down a little bit?

That would be great.

Maybe just down to a,
you know,

seven or something.

Oh, that--
that is a seven.

That was a seven?
Yeah.

Maybe, you know,
a two?

Would it be-- would that
be asking too much?

No, I can do a two.
Okay, that'd be great.

That's fine.

It's hilarious.
Oh, oh, good.

Just have fun.
I'm telling you, this is--

it's a done deal,
anyway.

Okay?
Sure.

There's also going to be
a live band.

Bobcat: Whoa, we're back
from our little interruption.

And then like,
another thing on the show,

a regular feature is,
let's say I have a guest,

like Donna Mills.
And there's Donna.

She's just yammering away,
like plugging something.

I'm gonna have a big
giant Nerf bat,

bigger than this one,
and then I'll just go,

"Oh, that's fascinating,
Donna.

Oh, please, tell me some
more about your pets."

Boom! Smack her
right in the face.

I'll-- I'll hit her,
right in the face.

I want to hit her
so hard, like,

you can get some
of her makeup

right here,
a lot of it.

It'll be like
"the holy shroud of Donna."

The crowd's gonna
go crazy, and, um...

Is this what
you really want?

Why don't you go
all the way with it

and get the young people's
favorite, Pauly Shore?

'Cause I happen to think
this is still funny, okay?

It's a little different,
a little more daring,
but if you're not gonna

do something different,
why bother?

The network wants
Coulier and Saget.

Why not put them together
as a team?

It worked for
the Smothers Brothers.

Because the Smothers Brothers

happened to actually
be brothers, Artie.

I don't believe Coulier
and Saget are related.

How about Rowan
and Martin?

I'm not changing
my mind.

If I cave in now...

the network's
gonna question me

on everything
I want to do.

Larry,
listen carefully.

This is not you against
the network.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

It's you against
the most powerful people

in television,
the affiliates.

And they're never going to
buy it, kiddo.

I get-- I have
a good relationship

with the affiliates.
They'll come around.

Let's see how long
that lasts

after Bobcat
bashes Donna Mill''

face in with
a Nerf bat.

He's not gonna do that.
He'll be fine.

He's gonna last
exactly three weeks.

And then they're gonna
dump the both of you

and put on reruns
of "McMillan and Wife"

and "Hawaii Five-Zilch."
Bobcat: I want to have...

and then, sometimes, I'm not
even gonna be on the show.

It's just gonna be
my voice

coming from a box
such as this one,

and it'll just be
this disembodied voice.

It'll be like, you know,
a Beckett play.

How long do I have
to make my decision?

You've got to announce it
on the show tomorrow night.

Do you ever have to go
and then we, because like--

I hope we made
the right choice.

Well, the network certainly
seemed to be intrigued.

Good, good.
Well, I feel good about it.

Arthur...
Okay.

Could I talk to you
for a moment, please?

You okay, Sid?

Some asshole
put a potato

in the tailpipe
of my car.

Oh, that's awful.

Who would do a thing
like that?
I'll kill the bastards.

Just settle down.
If I find out who...

Sid, what, did you used to
work at the post office?

I did it, Artie.
Did what?

I did it. "Penis, vagina,
penis, vagina."

You put that
in the newsletter, Darlene?

You're kidding?
I love Hank.

I really do,
but sometimes

he makes me
do crummy jobs,

and he talks to me
like I'm an idiot.

I think I just wanted
to hurt him.

I know the feeling.

Oh. I was beginning to worry
about you, sweetie,

but I think you're finding

a place for yourself
in this business.

Oh, I hope so, Artie.
Thank you so much.

Uh-huh,
secret, secret.

All right, Darlene,
pull my car

up to the back door
and have it running

as soon as the show
is over.

And, listen, try to keep
that interior temp

as close to 60
as possible, capisce?

Yes, sir.
That's my girl.

(softly)
Penis, vagina.

(audience laughter)
Bill Clinton has nominated

a woman to
the Supreme Court.

Or, as Clarence Thomas
likes to say, "new meat."

(audience laughter
and cheering)

Now, I would like to get
onto a very important issue.

There's been
a lot of conjecture,

a lot of misinformation
in the papers

about who we are puttin' on
in the 12:30 slot

after us,
"The Larry Sanders Show."

And I'd like to put an end
to all the speculation by--

right now by announcing
and introducing the new host

of the 12:30 slot
to you now.

He's an old friend,
and a very talented man,

Mr. Tom Snyder!
Tom Snyder.

(cheering and applause)

Larry.

Hi, folks.

(cheering continues
over chatter)

Now, Tom...

(cheering continues)
Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you, folks.

I would say
off the bat,

it looks like we've really
made the right choice

in picking you, Tom.
Wow, how do I follow this
at 12:30? Wow.

Well, it's not
going to be easy, Tom,

but if there's anybody
who can do it...

it's you.
(audience laughter)

So, uh, Tom,
welcome to the family.

Thank you, Larry.

Pleasure to be back
on the network.

Finally out of CNBC
and back in--

(laughter)

Back in the old
12:30 A.M. saddle.

It's great.
Well, listen, maybe get

a regular chair
this time.

(audience laughter)

Funny man,
Larry Sanders.

Oh, oh, funny,
funny man.

Now, listen, uh,

what kind of show will you
be doing, Tom?

You ask me now.
I ask you now.

(light laughter)

Be similar to the old show,
the show we love?

Well, I think it'll be
a little one-on-one.

You know, that's always
been something

I've had good fortune doing.
Absolutely.

Covering issues.
I think there's

a lot of stuff
going on in the world

that's, uh, important.

And, you know, Larry,
I think it's high time

that late night television
got back to covering things

that matter
in this world.

Well, I couldn't agree
with you more, Tom.

(applause)
And there's eight
other people.

Eight other people here.
No, ten.

Now, what kind of guests
will you be having?

Well, I'll tell you
something, uh...

I'd like to have you
on the air.

You know,
go behind the scenes,

get to the bottom
of Larry Sanders.

(cheering and applause)

And eight other people
agree with that.

There's eight.
What do you say?

I'm, uh-- I'm in.

I'm in.
Good.

You know, I'm--
I'm absolutely--

I'm as good
as there.

And if I can't make it,
Hank will be.

No flipping!
We'll be right back.

(cheering and applause,
band playing)

Oh, boy, they seemed
to like it, huh?

Yeah, well,
they'd better.

It cost us an arm and a leg

to steal him away
from Letterman.

Yeah, but it was worth it.
We got him.

How did old Bobcat
take it?

I thought
you told Bobcat.

You were gonna
tell him.

Well, someone better
tell him

before this goes
on the air tonight.

Well, he's your pal,
it was your idea.

You-- you should tell him.
Fine.

I'll tell him
right after the show.

Good, okay.
But I feel bad, though.

Oh, come on.
We'll let him

guest host
for a week.

That's a good idea.
That's great.
Yeah.

Yeah.
That's a good idea,
'cause I like him.

He's a talent.

Listen, I have to
ask you this again.

When Letterman said
that he was thinking

of Tom Snyder, you're sure
he wasn't joking?

Yeah, he wasn't joking.
Yeah.

And, of course,
I asked Tom about it,

and he said that
he never heard

about the Letterman thing.

Really?
Really.

♪ ♪