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1
00:01:00,428 --> 00:01:01,804
Lamont?
2
00:01:01,828 --> 00:01:03,640
Lamont! Lamont?
3
00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:05,108
Check the kitchen. Uh, Lamont?
4
00:01:05,132 --> 00:01:06,132
Hey, Lamont.
5
00:01:08,635 --> 00:01:10,280
Where is he? What?
6
00:01:10,304 --> 00:01:11,584
I don't know.
7
00:01:15,943 --> 00:01:17,754
Officer Smith, if...
If he's in this mess,
8
00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:19,556
we're never gonna find him.
9
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,224
What's happening?
10
00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:22,259
What's going on here?
11
00:01:22,283 --> 00:01:23,527
Hi, Donna.
12
00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:24,994
Do you know where Lamont is?
13
00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:26,263
Why, yes, he went to Bakersfield
14
00:01:26,287 --> 00:01:27,597
to pick up some
refrigerators. Why?
15
00:01:27,621 --> 00:01:28,598
Uh, can he be reached?
16
00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:29,599
Well, I don't know.
17
00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:30,800
I think he said
18
00:01:30,824 --> 00:01:32,669
he was going to sleep
in the truck tonight.
19
00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:33,937
What's the matter?
20
00:01:33,961 --> 00:01:35,138
Well, uh...
21
00:01:35,162 --> 00:01:36,940
I'm afraid we got
some bad news for you.
22
00:01:36,964 --> 00:01:38,041
Uh, hold it, Smitty.
23
00:01:38,065 --> 00:01:39,109
We don't want to, uh...
24
00:01:39,133 --> 00:01:40,843
We don't want to upset the lady.
25
00:01:40,867 --> 00:01:42,345
Uh, you'd better sit down.
26
00:01:42,369 --> 00:01:43,813
What is it?
27
00:01:43,837 --> 00:01:45,148
Please, sit down.
28
00:01:45,172 --> 00:01:46,550
I don't want to sit down.
29
00:01:46,574 --> 00:01:49,052
Well, then, would
you mind if I would?
30
00:01:49,076 --> 00:01:50,920
I've really had a rough day.
31
00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:52,355
What is happening?
32
00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:53,756
Please tell me.
33
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:54,791
Don't be worried,
34
00:01:54,815 --> 00:01:55,825
and don't be frightened, Donna.
35
00:01:55,849 --> 00:01:56,993
He's gonna be all right.
36
00:01:57,017 --> 00:01:58,061
Who?
37
00:01:58,085 --> 00:01:59,396
Fred, but don't worry about it.
38
00:01:59,420 --> 00:02:02,099
Yeah, you see, he was only
run over by some gangsters
39
00:02:02,123 --> 00:02:03,467
and given two days to live.
40
00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:04,534
It's nothing.
41
00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:08,472
Fred was run over
by some gangsters?
42
00:02:08,496 --> 00:02:10,540
Well, only his toe.
43
00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:13,410
He's all right.
He's in the hospital.
44
00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:15,312
Oh. Well.
45
00:02:15,336 --> 00:02:18,181
What's all this about being
given two days to live?
46
00:02:18,205 --> 00:02:20,984
He witnessed a
murder by Mr. Big.
47
00:02:21,008 --> 00:02:22,285
He's the only man
48
00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:24,254
ever to see Mr. Big
actually pull the trigger,
49
00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:26,590
and the Mob has threatened
to kill him if he testifies.
50
00:02:26,614 --> 00:02:30,727
Well, he just won't
testify. It's that simple.
51
00:02:30,751 --> 00:02:33,663
Well, there's a $25,000
reward if he does.
52
00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:36,833
That's not so simple. Let's go.
53
00:02:36,857 --> 00:02:38,390
All right.
54
00:02:43,130 --> 00:02:45,050
This is worse
than basic training.
55
00:02:46,467 --> 00:02:47,977
Well, Bert, I'd better
get back inside.
56
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,212
Okay, Bill.
57
00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:50,847
Well, what did the nurse say?
58
00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:52,249
Three-O-something I don't know.
59
00:02:52,273 --> 00:02:53,650
Hold it right there. Freeze.
60
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,585
It's okay, sergeant.
We're police officers.
61
00:02:55,609 --> 00:02:57,320
How do I know that?
62
00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:59,523
Anyone can acquire a uniform
and say he's a police officer.
63
00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:01,625
Hey, will you... Turn
around. Turn around.
64
00:03:01,649 --> 00:03:03,426
Get your hands
up against the wall.
65
00:03:03,450 --> 00:03:04,961
Drop your IDs on the floor.
66
00:03:04,985 --> 00:03:07,697
My gosh, he is good.
I mean, I just love that.
67
00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:08,965
I mean, it's so real.
68
00:03:08,989 --> 00:03:11,468
I mean, this could
be a movie, sergeant.
69
00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:12,591
Can I see Fred now?
70
00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:16,206
Hey, Smitty, Hoppy.
71
00:03:16,230 --> 00:03:17,674
Hello, Bill. How
you doing, Bill?
72
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,276
Hey, Bert, they're all right.
73
00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:21,110
Please, may I... Who is she?
74
00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:22,845
Oh, this is, uh...
This is Donna Harris.
75
00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:25,389
She's the fiancée
of the doomed man.
76
00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:28,552
Will you stop that?
77
00:03:28,576 --> 00:03:30,320
You have a great
fiancé, Miss Harris.
78
00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:32,455
Can I see him. Is he all right?
79
00:03:32,479 --> 00:03:34,791
Well, his foot hurts a
little, but it'll be all right.
80
00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:37,060
Is Fred in there all by himself?
81
00:03:37,084 --> 00:03:38,995
Don't worry. We
gave him a whistle.
82
00:03:39,019 --> 00:03:40,597
If he gets in
trouble, he blows it,
83
00:03:40,621 --> 00:03:42,199
and we'll be in
there in a second.
84
00:03:42,223 --> 00:03:44,201
Uh, sergeant,
how's he bearing up?
85
00:03:44,225 --> 00:03:45,802
He's a trooper, a real trooper.
86
00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:48,271
A brave man, Mr. Sanford.
The stuff heroes are made of.
87
00:03:48,295 --> 00:03:50,039
Can I go in now, please?
88
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,183
Yes, of course.
89
00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:01,984
What?
90
00:04:02,008 --> 00:04:03,286
What's wrong?
91
00:04:03,310 --> 00:04:04,954
What is it? Her, her!
92
00:04:04,978 --> 00:04:05,955
Donna?
93
00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:06,956
Me?
94
00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:08,991
Yeah. How do you know it's her?
95
00:04:09,015 --> 00:04:11,127
Yeah, how do I know it's her?
96
00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:13,230
Only she knows if she's her.
97
00:04:13,254 --> 00:04:15,865
She could be disguised
as her and be them.
98
00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:18,167
Oh, Fred. Now, you know it's me.
99
00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:19,736
Oh, yeah?
100
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,605
Well, if you really Donna,
101
00:04:21,629 --> 00:04:24,407
then say something that
only Donna would know...
102
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:25,975
and make sure
that it's something
103
00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:27,877
that I would know
Donna would know.
104
00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:31,715
Hmm... All right.
105
00:04:31,739 --> 00:04:33,750
Every time I come
over to the house,
106
00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:35,818
and you're alone,
you always try to...
107
00:04:35,842 --> 00:04:38,154
Donna, Donna, honey, that's you!
108
00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:40,056
Oh, honey, oh.
109
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,891
Hey, keep an eye on her for me.
110
00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:43,627
Oh, Donna. That's you, darling.
111
00:04:43,651 --> 00:04:45,771
Listen, what did these
fellas bother you for?
112
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:49,633
Hey, give me more
fruit. More fruit.
113
00:04:49,657 --> 00:04:52,402
Hey, listen, next time,
get some nectarines,
114
00:04:52,426 --> 00:04:53,637
because they're in season too.
115
00:04:53,661 --> 00:04:54,704
You bet, sir.
116
00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:56,273
Hey, listen, would you gentlemen
117
00:04:56,297 --> 00:04:58,841
be kind enough to leave me
alone here with my fiancée.
118
00:04:58,865 --> 00:04:59,942
Let's go, out. Oh, certainly.
119
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:03,713
Yeah, yeah, out,
out. All of y'all. Out.
120
00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:07,216
Fred, does your toe hurt much?
121
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:08,217
Enough.
122
00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:10,820
Enough? Enough for what?
123
00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:13,222
Enough for me to live
here as long as I want to,
124
00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:15,825
and be waited on hand
and toe by the L.A.P.D.,
125
00:05:15,849 --> 00:05:17,226
and get all I want to eat,
126
00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:19,228
and have a big color
TV up on the wall.
127
00:05:19,252 --> 00:05:20,930
And be a target
128
00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:22,532
for every hired
killer in the country.
129
00:05:22,556 --> 00:05:24,301
Don't worry, darling.
Nothing could happen to me.
130
00:05:24,325 --> 00:05:25,435
Can't you see?
131
00:05:25,459 --> 00:05:28,126
I got half the police
force watching me.
132
00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:40,082
What was that?
133
00:05:40,106 --> 00:05:41,250
Oh, my God!
134
00:05:41,274 --> 00:05:42,674
Clear... Clear the window!
135
00:05:51,819 --> 00:05:53,596
Goodbye, cruel world.
136
00:05:53,620 --> 00:05:55,053
Goodbye, hemorrhoids!
137
00:06:02,329 --> 00:06:03,440
What happened here?
138
00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:05,330
My 'nana go boom.
139
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,878
I want a rundown
140
00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:11,770
on everyone who
touched this man's banana.
141
00:06:13,607 --> 00:06:15,652
Right, sergeant.
142
00:06:15,676 --> 00:06:17,286
I wanna know the
history of this banana
143
00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:20,089
from when it was on the tree
until it blew up in this room.
144
00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:22,258
Send a man to every
fruit store in this precinct.
145
00:06:22,282 --> 00:06:23,860
Bring me back names,
addresses and phone numbers.
146
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,884
And bring me back
some nectarines.
147
00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:29,932
I'm very sorry for
that, Mr. Sanford.
148
00:06:29,956 --> 00:06:33,536
Listen, listen... What
about my electric shaver?
149
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:34,671
Hopkins? Yes, sergeant.
150
00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:35,905
Get this man the
electric shaver.
151
00:06:35,929 --> 00:06:36,906
Right.
152
00:06:36,930 --> 00:06:38,975
Could you leave me
with my fiancée now?
153
00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:40,276
Yes, sir. Out.
154
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:42,066
Yeah, out.
155
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:45,615
Hey, hey, Donna. Hm?
156
00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:46,949
When Lamont gets
back from Bakersfield,
157
00:06:46,973 --> 00:06:48,585
he gonna be rich.
158
00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:51,120
Fred, now, what are
you talking about?
159
00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:52,989
Look here.
160
00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:54,190
Did you see the newspaper today?
161
00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:55,492
No. Look here.
162
00:06:55,516 --> 00:06:58,828
There's a $25,000 reward
for anyone giving information
163
00:06:58,852 --> 00:07:00,997
that leads to the
arrest and conviction
164
00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:04,000
of one Daniel Tracy,
also known as "Mr. Big."
165
00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:07,270
Now, all of a sudden, I
have become "anyone."
166
00:07:07,294 --> 00:07:10,206
You are about to
become "dead one."
167
00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:12,375
Oh, Donna, that's ridiculous.
168
00:07:12,399 --> 00:07:13,676
Now, Fred...
169
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:16,312
Now, how did you get
involved in all this, anyway?
170
00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:18,214
Well, let me tell you.
171
00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:20,850
I was going through my
regular hard day's work...
172
00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:21,984
Mm-hmm.
173
00:07:22,008 --> 00:07:27,557
And I was coming
out of the movie, and...
174
00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:29,492
And this car came
zooming around the corner,
175
00:07:29,516 --> 00:07:30,960
"Rrrh," zoom,
176
00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:32,995
and this big fat guy
leaned out the window...
177
00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:34,397
He had an earring in his ear...
178
00:07:34,421 --> 00:07:35,899
And he shot this
little skinny fella
179
00:07:35,923 --> 00:07:38,123
who was standing there,
had popcorn in his teeth.
180
00:07:39,493 --> 00:07:41,070
Fred, you were
standing that close?
181
00:07:41,094 --> 00:07:42,439
That's right.
182
00:07:42,463 --> 00:07:45,608
Oh, how can this city
let hoodlums like that
183
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,076
run around the street free,
184
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:48,611
killing and shooting
185
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:50,880
with no regard for human life.
186
00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:53,382
Oh, I can't stand
it. It's wrong.
187
00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:55,574
Ow, ow!
188
00:07:57,711 --> 00:08:00,523
What is it? What
happened here? What is it?
189
00:08:00,547 --> 00:08:02,892
Hey, listen, uh...
pardon me, fellas.
190
00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:05,462
Can I talk to my
fiancée in private now?
191
00:08:05,486 --> 00:08:06,930
Oh, certainly,
Mr. Sanford. Okay, out, out.
192
00:08:06,954 --> 00:08:08,331
Yeah, out. Put your pistol back.
193
00:08:08,355 --> 00:08:10,333
See, Donna, I got it made.
194
00:08:10,357 --> 00:08:11,334
When Lamont comes back,
195
00:08:11,358 --> 00:08:12,969
I'll tell him to get married,
196
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:16,138
and after he gets married,
just spend a full life,
197
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:17,340
and just bring the
grandchildren by
198
00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:18,641
to see me every Sunday.
199
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,910
Fred, you can't spend
the rest of your life
200
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:22,214
in a bed.
201
00:08:23,537 --> 00:08:24,769
Hello, Mr. Sanford.
202
00:08:26,439 --> 00:08:27,439
Why not?
203
00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:34,591
Uh, Gloria, Angel of
Mercy... meet Donna.
204
00:08:34,615 --> 00:08:35,692
Donna, Gloria.
205
00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:36,693
Hello.
206
00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:37,994
Hello.
207
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:39,896
Are you comfy and cozy?
208
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:42,120
Yes, I'm comfy, and
this is my friend "Cozy..."
209
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:45,535
And as soon as
you leave the room,
210
00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:47,470
"Cozy" here can
come a little closer,
211
00:08:47,494 --> 00:08:49,814
and make "Comfy"
a little more comfier.
212
00:08:51,598 --> 00:08:57,179
Oh, Mr. Sanford,
you are the one.
213
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:59,103
I am the one. I am the one.
214
00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:02,340
That's wonderful.
215
00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:06,088
Mm-mm. Yeah.
216
00:09:06,112 --> 00:09:07,757
She's kind of cute, isn't she?
217
00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:09,258
She just started this afternoon,
218
00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:11,460
and she took the other girl's
place that was on earlier.
219
00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:13,596
Why did she take
somebody else's place?
220
00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:16,054
Don't ask me why.
How should I know?
221
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,392
What's the matter?
222
00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:23,840
Aah! Throw it away.
223
00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:25,274
Do something, will you?
224
00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:26,298
Oh!
225
00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:28,300
Aah!
226
00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:32,314
Where, where?
227
00:09:32,338 --> 00:09:33,315
What happened? What is it?
228
00:09:33,339 --> 00:09:34,918
The nurse who was just in here,
229
00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:37,353
she left a time bomb
under Mr. Sanford's pillow.
230
00:09:37,377 --> 00:09:39,310
Sounds like a
tooth fairy gone bad.
231
00:09:42,849 --> 00:09:44,627
How did that nurse
get in here anyway, Bill?
232
00:09:44,651 --> 00:09:46,029
Oh, she was in earlier.
233
00:09:46,053 --> 00:09:47,931
She just reported to
work on an earlier shift,
234
00:09:47,955 --> 00:09:49,632
and I theorized
she was all right.
235
00:09:49,656 --> 00:09:52,201
You "theorized"?
You "theorized"?
236
00:09:52,225 --> 00:09:53,202
I'm sorry.
237
00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:57,040
You "theorized"?!
He "theorized"?
238
00:09:57,064 --> 00:09:58,575
What else can we tell you, Fred?
239
00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:01,066
Tell me what "theorized" means.
240
00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:03,980
Assumed.
241
00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:06,015
Assumed? Assumed?
242
00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:07,650
Well, uh, Mr. Sanford,
243
00:10:07,674 --> 00:10:09,418
according to Webster's
Collegiate Dictionary...
244
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,520
I know what "assumed" means.
245
00:10:11,544 --> 00:10:12,922
Now, just go on back out there
246
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,857
and be a little bit
more careful, will you?
247
00:10:14,881 --> 00:10:15,858
Will you do that?
248
00:10:15,882 --> 00:10:17,259
And... Oh, my gosh. What?
249
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:19,428
My pocket transistor radio.
250
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,631
You must have thrown it out
with the time bomb, Donna.
251
00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:24,366
Bill... Yes, I'll pick
one up right away.
252
00:10:24,390 --> 00:10:28,337
Gentlemen, might I be
alone with my fiancée?
253
00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:29,706
Oh, certainly. Let's go.
254
00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:31,010
Right.
255
00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:35,612
Fred...
256
00:10:35,636 --> 00:10:38,915
you are ripping off
this city for a fortune.
257
00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:40,016
No, I'm not.
258
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,417
I'm only getting
what's coming to me.
259
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:43,319
After all, I'm
handing them Mr. Big
260
00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:44,453
on a silver platter.
261
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:45,655
Yeah, if you live that long.
262
00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:47,123
Oh, I'll make it, Donna,
263
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,191
and Lamont will have
everything that he wants,
264
00:10:49,215 --> 00:10:51,828
and then you'll have
reason to be proud of me,
265
00:10:51,852 --> 00:10:53,930
and all of you will
be proud of me
266
00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:55,898
because I finally did
something to make you proud.
267
00:10:55,922 --> 00:10:58,835
And I... I risked my life
for the sake of justice.
268
00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:01,303
Justice?
269
00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:04,040
You mean, for the
$25,000, not justice.
270
00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:05,864
"Justice" good.
271
00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:12,915
Just as good.
272
00:11:12,939 --> 00:11:14,817
You know something,
Fred Sanford?
273
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:16,085
Now, please don't
lecture me, Donna.
274
00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:18,587
I'm left in a hospital
with a busted big toe,
275
00:11:18,611 --> 00:11:21,057
being chased by gangsters,
and I haven't had my nectarines.
276
00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:24,193
I'm not gonna lecture you, Fred.
277
00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:26,195
I'm going to tell you
I am proud of you,
278
00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:28,097
really proud.
279
00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:29,966
Oh, not because
you're risking your life
280
00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:33,502
for your son... or
for the money...
281
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:35,538
or even for justice.
282
00:11:35,562 --> 00:11:39,008
I am proud of you because
you are what you are...
283
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,777
a very, very brave man.
284
00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:41,978
Ouch!
285
00:12:04,524 --> 00:12:06,736
This is your idea of protection?
286
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:08,071
This is your idea
287
00:12:08,095 --> 00:12:10,539
of taking care of Mr. Sanford?
288
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,175
Look at this room...
289
00:12:12,199 --> 00:12:15,444
bullets, bombs, explosions.
290
00:12:15,468 --> 00:12:19,082
It's all right, honey.
I've calmed down now.
291
00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:21,483
It's not all right, Fred.
292
00:12:21,507 --> 00:12:22,484
Yes, it is.
293
00:12:22,508 --> 00:12:23,875
Come on.
294
00:12:26,646 --> 00:12:30,259
Now, will you please tell them
295
00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:31,594
that you don't know
296
00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:33,996
who shot that poor man
with the popcorn in his teeth,
297
00:12:34,020 --> 00:12:35,865
and that you're
not going to testify,
298
00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:37,633
and then you won't
need protection,
299
00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:38,735
and they'll leave you alone.
300
00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:40,703
But I am gonna testify,
301
00:12:40,727 --> 00:12:42,504
and I'm gonna get that $25,000,
302
00:12:42,528 --> 00:12:43,906
and I would
appreciate it very much
303
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,908
if you gentlemen would
take better care of my life.
304
00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:47,476
We're awfully
sorry, Mr. Sanford.
305
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:48,911
We'll call headquarters,
double the guard,
306
00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:50,780
make sure no one slips by us.
307
00:12:50,804 --> 00:12:52,481
Make sure no one
stands near that window,
308
00:12:52,505 --> 00:12:53,750
and keep the drapes closed.
309
00:12:53,774 --> 00:12:55,451
Right, sergeant.
310
00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:56,641
Oh, where is he?
311
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:05,962
Shoot her! Shoot her. What?
312
00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:08,765
A gor... A gorilla. Shoot her!
313
00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:09,966
No, hold it!
314
00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:11,901
Fred, are you crazy?
315
00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:13,335
They could have killed Esther!
316
00:13:13,359 --> 00:13:14,470
And won the love
317
00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:16,795
of every man in the
world who could see.
318
00:13:18,731 --> 00:13:22,044
Fred Sanford, I came
here feeling sorry for you
319
00:13:22,068 --> 00:13:24,513
because you were
attacked by criminals.
320
00:13:24,537 --> 00:13:28,350
I remember how scared I
was when they robbed my store,
321
00:13:28,374 --> 00:13:30,352
but at least they
didn't run over my toe.
322
00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:33,355
I can see that.
323
00:13:33,379 --> 00:13:34,946
They ran over your face.
324
00:13:40,586 --> 00:13:44,333
You can insult me all
you want to, Fred Sanford,
325
00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:47,837
because I'm here on
behalf of my church,
326
00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:49,705
and I cannot be hurt.
327
00:13:49,729 --> 00:13:52,108
Well, then I apologize
for insulting you.
328
00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:55,644
Oh, Fred, do you
really mean that?
329
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,313
Of course I do, darling.
330
00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:59,348
Darling?
331
00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:02,285
Listen, would you do
me a favor, sweetheart?
332
00:14:02,309 --> 00:14:03,619
Of course, dear. What is it?
333
00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:05,021
Well, it's a little
stuffy in here.
334
00:14:05,045 --> 00:14:06,455
Would you mind
pulling them drapes back
335
00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:07,790
and open the window for me?
336
00:14:07,814 --> 00:14:08,791
Not at all.
337
00:14:08,815 --> 00:14:10,960
No, no. Hold on, ma'am.
338
00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:13,262
Would you all excuse us, please?
339
00:14:13,286 --> 00:14:15,932
I'd like to speak to, uh...
Fred and Esther alone.
340
00:14:15,956 --> 00:14:17,566
Oh, certainly.
She's all right, Bill...
341
00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:18,634
And, sergeant, Okay.
342
00:14:18,658 --> 00:14:20,336
I can vouch for this woman.
343
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:21,637
We'll be in the hallway, Fred.
344
00:14:21,661 --> 00:14:23,873
All right. Listen, any
of y'all going outside?
345
00:14:23,897 --> 00:14:25,308
Why, Mr. Sanford?
It's about time
346
00:14:25,332 --> 00:14:26,642
for my roast beef sandwich.
347
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:29,078
I'll pick one up for
you right away, sir.
348
00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:30,179
All right.
349
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,447
All right, Esther.
350
00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:32,448
Now, what's all this business
351
00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:33,582
about the church?
352
00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:36,719
I just want to know
how much of the $25,000
353
00:14:36,743 --> 00:14:38,187
Fred's gonna
donate to the church,
354
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:39,655
praise the Lord.
355
00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:41,824
He is not going
to testify, Esther,
356
00:14:41,848 --> 00:14:43,326
so he won't be
getting any money.
357
00:14:43,350 --> 00:14:44,560
Is that right, Fred?
358
00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:46,229
No, that's not right.
359
00:14:46,253 --> 00:14:47,830
I'm gonna testify,
360
00:14:47,854 --> 00:14:49,531
and I'm gonna get that $25,000,
361
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:52,835
and I'm gonna put
most of it in a trust fund
362
00:14:52,859 --> 00:14:55,037
for my son, Lamont,
and I'm gonna...
363
00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:56,438
I'm gonna spend
the other $23,000
364
00:14:56,462 --> 00:14:58,396
on yours truly.
365
00:15:01,067 --> 00:15:02,478
Fred Sanford...
366
00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:05,681
you may be able to
turn a deaf ear on me,
367
00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:08,717
and you may be able to
turn a deaf ear on the church,
368
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,953
but you will never be
able to turn a deaf ear
369
00:15:10,977 --> 00:15:12,188
on your conscience.
370
00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:14,156
It's just unfortunate
I only got two ears,
371
00:15:14,180 --> 00:15:16,558
and I wish they was long
enough to cover up my eyes
372
00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:18,761
so I wouldn't have to
look at your ugly face.
373
00:15:18,785 --> 00:15:20,985
Why, you heathen!
374
00:15:22,055 --> 00:15:23,299
Ow!
375
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,637
Shoot her, shoot her!
376
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:29,772
Shoot her!
377
00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:31,974
But Mr. Sanford,
she's your sister-in-law.
378
00:15:31,998 --> 00:15:33,075
That don't make no difference.
379
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:34,643
Her face is wanted
in three continents
380
00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:36,245
for indecent exposure.
381
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:37,846
Shoot her!
382
00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:41,450
Take your hands
off of me, heathen!
383
00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:43,786
Mr. Sanford, as the
police commissioner,
384
00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:45,788
I wanna tell you that
every man on the force
385
00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:47,156
is proud of you.
386
00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:48,857
Well, I felt it was my
duty, commissioner.
387
00:15:48,881 --> 00:15:50,259
May I quote you as saying that
388
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:51,260
on the air, Mr. Sanford?
389
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:52,395
Why, sure.
390
00:15:52,419 --> 00:15:54,397
I feel the two go hand
in hand. Which two?
391
00:15:54,421 --> 00:15:57,266
Uh, his money and my duty.
392
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:59,768
See, his money is number
one, and my duty is number two.
393
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:02,771
Mr. Sanford, in
a couple of hours,
394
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:05,474
I'm gonna bring Daniel
Tracy in through this door.
395
00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:07,076
All you have to
do is identify him,
396
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:09,778
and we'll protect
you until after the trial.
397
00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:11,669
Oh, by the way...
398
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:14,960
here are your nectarines.
399
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:19,743
Uh, would you mind
taking the pits out?
400
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:23,426
Mr. Sanford, what do you intend
401
00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:25,461
to do with the money
once you get it?
402
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:27,229
Well, I intend to give the money
403
00:16:27,253 --> 00:16:30,599
to the Fred Sanford Foundation
for 100 selective charities.
404
00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:32,701
Oh, really? What are
some of those charities?
405
00:16:32,725 --> 00:16:35,771
Well, one of them
is for an old man
406
00:16:35,795 --> 00:16:38,140
with a young son, 34 years old,
407
00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:40,742
whose mother
died at an early age,
408
00:16:40,766 --> 00:16:42,778
and he was forced
to live in Watts
409
00:16:42,802 --> 00:16:44,513
and drive a red truck.
410
00:16:44,537 --> 00:16:46,282
There a lot of those?
411
00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:48,539
You'd be amazed.
412
00:16:49,942 --> 00:16:51,454
Hello, Fred.
413
00:16:51,478 --> 00:16:52,788
Donna.
414
00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:54,357
Hi. Hi.
415
00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:55,724
Oh, this is wonderful.
416
00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:58,194
Donna Harris, meet
Commissioner Daly.
417
00:16:58,218 --> 00:16:59,195
How do you do, sir?
418
00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:00,429
Miss Harris.
419
00:17:00,453 --> 00:17:02,831
And here's Mr. Martinson
from the 4:30 news.
420
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,000
Hello. How do you do?
421
00:17:04,024 --> 00:17:05,567
Fred, here's your mail.
422
00:17:05,591 --> 00:17:06,668
Oh, that's wonderful.
423
00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:08,926
Get-well cards from
all of my friends.
424
00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:15,844
Let's see, this
one's from Grady.
425
00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:18,981
"Dear Fred, I am
very proud of you.
426
00:17:19,005 --> 00:17:21,283
"You just go ahead and testify.
427
00:17:21,307 --> 00:17:26,055
"Good conquers evil,
and right makes might.
428
00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:27,689
"Nothing will happen to you.
429
00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:31,615
P.S. Can I have your color
TV after they rub you out?"
430
00:17:36,089 --> 00:17:38,134
That old dumb Grady.
431
00:17:38,158 --> 00:17:39,201
Here, let me see that.
432
00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:40,336
Yeah, take it.
433
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:41,792
And check it for fingerprints.
434
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:46,742
See what this one is.
435
00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:48,933
"Dear..."
436
00:17:53,306 --> 00:17:54,450
What? What does it say?
437
00:17:54,474 --> 00:17:56,152
Nothing at all, honey. Nothing.
438
00:17:56,176 --> 00:17:57,753
Oh, it's not a "nothing."
It's a "something."
439
00:17:57,777 --> 00:17:59,021
Let me see. No, it's nothing...
440
00:17:59,045 --> 00:18:00,622
Fred, I can see it in your face.
441
00:18:00,646 --> 00:18:01,723
Listen, I say it's nothing
442
00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:03,492
and you can't see
something in my face
443
00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:04,560
and don't argue about it.
444
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:05,928
Now, just leave me alone.
445
00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:07,863
Just leave me
alone. Just go on out.
446
00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:08,964
Come on. Fred.
447
00:18:08,988 --> 00:18:11,289
Out. Please, Donna.
Just leave me alone.
448
00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:17,028
Please, please.
449
00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:25,247
"Dear Hero:
450
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:28,050
"This is your final warning.
451
00:18:28,074 --> 00:18:31,554
"If you don't want your
son and girlfriend hurt,
452
00:18:31,578 --> 00:18:33,389
"forget you saw anything,
453
00:18:33,413 --> 00:18:35,057
"and then forget
everything else,
454
00:18:35,081 --> 00:18:40,196
"or your company will
be Sanford and Nobody.
455
00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:43,765
Remember, forget it."
456
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:46,668
I gotta forget it. I
gotta forget everything.
457
00:18:46,692 --> 00:18:48,626
I gotta forget everything I saw.
458
00:18:50,029 --> 00:18:53,464
What did I just say? I forgot.
459
00:18:55,735 --> 00:18:57,446
Stand by, please.
460
00:18:57,470 --> 00:18:58,947
Action.
461
00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:00,649
Good afternoon.
462
00:19:00,673 --> 00:19:02,451
Don Martinson and the 4:30 news.
463
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:03,752
I am standing
464
00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:06,755
in the very well-guarded
hospital room of Fred Sanford,
465
00:19:06,779 --> 00:19:09,158
the man who saw Daniel
Tracy allegedly shoot
466
00:19:09,182 --> 00:19:12,361
Johnny Popcorn two days ago.
467
00:19:12,385 --> 00:19:13,496
In a few minutes,
468
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:15,297
the police commissioner
will bring in Mr. Tracy
469
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:17,600
for Mr. Sanford to identify.
470
00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:19,668
Well, Mr. Sanford,
how do you feel?
471
00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:21,970
I don't remember.
472
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:24,928
You don't remember how you feel?
473
00:19:26,366 --> 00:19:30,012
Hey, where am I? Where is this?
474
00:19:30,036 --> 00:19:32,080
What am I doing here?
475
00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:33,571
Why was I born?
476
00:19:35,441 --> 00:19:38,576
♪ Why am I living? ♪
477
00:19:41,981 --> 00:19:44,593
Do you remember
seeing a murder this week?
478
00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:47,251
Week? Uh, what's the week?
479
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:50,633
What's the matter with him?
480
00:19:50,657 --> 00:19:52,968
The poor man's mind is gone.
481
00:19:52,992 --> 00:19:56,938
Now he doesn't have
a mind or a personality.
482
00:19:56,962 --> 00:19:59,341
Well, maybe seeing Daniel Tracy
483
00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:00,476
will stir up a memory.
484
00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:01,544
Commissioner?
485
00:20:01,568 --> 00:20:02,678
Ladies and gentlemen,
486
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:04,813
this is Police Commissioner Daly
487
00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:08,050
and the man with him
is Mr. Big, Daniel Tracy,
488
00:20:08,074 --> 00:20:10,452
owner of Tracy's Toyland
and Massage Parlor
489
00:20:10,476 --> 00:20:12,888
in El Segundo.
490
00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:14,192
Let's watch.
491
00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:16,559
Mr. Sanford... Oh, yes.
492
00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:18,661
How is he?
493
00:20:18,685 --> 00:20:21,129
What I'm about to ask
you is very important.
494
00:20:21,153 --> 00:20:23,131
Now, your identification
can have a big effect
495
00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:25,489
on the future security
of the people of this city.
496
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:29,705
Do you recognize this man?
497
00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:32,308
Man?
498
00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:34,042
What's a man?
499
00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:35,377
Is this a man?
500
00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:37,112
Uh, hello, man.
501
00:20:37,136 --> 00:20:38,581
Mr. Sanford.
502
00:20:38,605 --> 00:20:42,585
This is Daniel
Tracy, a.k.a. Mr. Big.
503
00:20:42,609 --> 00:20:45,487
You said that you saw
him attempt a murder.
504
00:20:45,511 --> 00:20:48,390
Murder? A murder?
505
00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:54,162
Oh, let me fluff my murder
and go get some rest.
506
00:20:54,186 --> 00:20:55,831
Hey, commissioner, can I go?
507
00:20:55,855 --> 00:20:57,065
You're wasting my time.
508
00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:58,601
Oh, he's holding
back. He's faking.
509
00:20:58,625 --> 00:20:59,768
No he's not, commissioner.
510
00:20:59,792 --> 00:21:01,503
The poor man is obviously sick.
511
00:21:01,527 --> 00:21:03,071
Looks like he's
got amnesia to me.
512
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:05,641
Yeah, that's right, amnesia.
513
00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:06,842
I don't remember...
514
00:21:06,866 --> 00:21:09,077
I don't remember your
name, his name, or my name.
515
00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:11,447
Now, listen, Daly,
leave out of here
516
00:21:11,471 --> 00:21:13,181
and take Mr. Tracy with you.
517
00:21:13,205 --> 00:21:15,251
Mr. Sanford, it sounds like
your memory is coming back.
518
00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:17,119
Will all of y'all get
out of here now?
519
00:21:17,143 --> 00:21:18,587
Leave me alone.
520
00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:20,531
Can't you see the
man is petrified?
521
00:21:23,048 --> 00:21:24,760
Yeah, get out of here, Donna.
522
00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:25,927
Donna, Donna,
523
00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:27,730
and get on this horse
you brought in here
524
00:21:27,754 --> 00:21:29,086
and ride away.
525
00:21:30,657 --> 00:21:33,591
Why, Fred Sanford, you old...
526
00:21:34,761 --> 00:21:36,305
That's him.
527
00:21:36,329 --> 00:21:37,640
That's him!
528
00:21:37,664 --> 00:21:38,707
That's who?
529
00:21:38,731 --> 00:21:41,910
The man who robbed
our store three years ago,
530
00:21:41,934 --> 00:21:43,312
and wounded my husband, Woodrow.
531
00:21:43,336 --> 00:21:44,313
That's him.
532
00:21:44,337 --> 00:21:45,648
Oh, he...
533
00:21:45,672 --> 00:21:47,983
Would you swear to
that in court on a Bible?
534
00:21:48,007 --> 00:21:49,287
Use mine.
535
00:21:51,311 --> 00:21:56,392
Lady, you just made
yourself $25,000.
536
00:21:56,416 --> 00:21:57,459
No, praise the Lord.
537
00:21:57,483 --> 00:22:00,028
My church just
made itself $25,000.
538
00:22:00,052 --> 00:22:03,965
But, commissioner,
isn't she in danger now?
539
00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:04,966
From what?
540
00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:06,502
The Mob wouldn't
dare touch her now.
541
00:22:06,526 --> 00:22:08,304
She just made a statement
on national television
542
00:22:08,328 --> 00:22:09,938
holding a Bible.
543
00:22:09,962 --> 00:22:11,239
She is safe, Miss Harris.
544
00:22:11,263 --> 00:22:12,775
Wait a minute.
545
00:22:12,799 --> 00:22:15,243
It's all coming back
to me clearly now.
546
00:22:15,267 --> 00:22:16,812
See, he's the one that did it.
547
00:22:16,836 --> 00:22:18,113
Too late.
548
00:22:18,137 --> 00:22:20,115
She beat you to it.
Get him out of here.
549
00:22:20,139 --> 00:22:21,983
It's... He did it. Good day.
550
00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:23,985
Would you come with
me? Wait a minute.
551
00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:25,688
Big fat guy, guy
with an earring.
552
00:22:25,712 --> 00:22:26,789
Wait a minute.
553
00:22:26,813 --> 00:22:28,691
Well, that's it
from the 4:30 news
554
00:22:28,715 --> 00:22:30,492
in a hospital room
in Los Angeles.
555
00:22:30,516 --> 00:22:31,493
Back to you, Jim.
556
00:22:31,517 --> 00:22:32,761
No, back to nobody.
557
00:22:32,785 --> 00:22:34,062
Give me a hundred dollars,
558
00:22:34,086 --> 00:22:36,064
and I'll tell you who
it was that did it.
559
00:22:36,088 --> 00:22:37,232
Good day. I'll identify him.
560
00:22:37,256 --> 00:22:39,067
See, I was outside the
movie, when this car...
561
00:22:39,091 --> 00:22:40,869
Fred...
562
00:22:40,893 --> 00:22:43,828
Donna, give me a dollar.
I'll tell you who did it.
563
00:22:46,899 --> 00:22:47,976
What are you doing?
564
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:49,878
No, that's my
letter. Wait a minute.
565
00:22:49,902 --> 00:22:53,637
"Dear Hero, This is
your final warning..."
566
00:22:57,076 --> 00:22:59,621
So that's what happened.
567
00:22:59,645 --> 00:23:00,622
Oh, Fred,
568
00:23:00,646 --> 00:23:02,858
you were willing
to risk your own life
569
00:23:02,882 --> 00:23:04,460
for the $25,000,
570
00:23:04,484 --> 00:23:06,528
but you wouldn't risk mine.
571
00:23:06,552 --> 00:23:09,798
Well... Fred, you're wonderful.
572
00:23:09,822 --> 00:23:12,234
You're... so special.
573
00:23:12,258 --> 00:23:17,740
You threw away the $25,000
and didn't even tell me why.
574
00:23:17,764 --> 00:23:19,541
I got a lot to be
thankful for, Donna.
575
00:23:19,565 --> 00:23:21,176
I mean, I got me a radio,
576
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:23,111
and I got me an electric shaver.
577
00:23:23,135 --> 00:23:24,513
I get all I want to eat.
578
00:23:24,537 --> 00:23:25,748
That's right.
579
00:23:25,772 --> 00:23:27,516
I got a color television...
580
00:23:27,540 --> 00:23:29,718
and you got a lot to be
thankful for too. What?
581
00:23:29,742 --> 00:23:31,642
That the reward wasn't $50,000.
582
00:23:35,281 --> 00:23:37,025
Fred, you wouldn't have!
583
00:23:37,049 --> 00:23:40,718
I'd like to think
I wouldn't have.
584
00:23:49,228 --> 00:23:50,506
Hi, Fred.
585
00:23:50,530 --> 00:23:52,441
Oh, hi, Donna.
586
00:23:52,465 --> 00:23:54,777
Ah.
587
00:23:54,801 --> 00:23:56,344
What did the doctor say?
588
00:23:56,368 --> 00:23:57,780
He said you'll be out of here
589
00:23:57,804 --> 00:23:58,781
in a couple of days.
590
00:23:58,805 --> 00:24:00,081
Oh, he did? Mm-hmm.
591
00:24:00,105 --> 00:24:02,618
Well, maybe I'll just
stretch it out a little bit.
592
00:24:02,642 --> 00:24:04,352
Listen, everything
is free, ain't it?
593
00:24:04,376 --> 00:24:06,021
It's not free.
594
00:24:06,045 --> 00:24:08,657
When you refused to testify,
595
00:24:08,681 --> 00:24:10,859
you gave up the
right to charge the city
596
00:24:10,883 --> 00:24:11,960
for everything.
597
00:24:11,984 --> 00:24:13,695
Well, let's get on out of here.
598
00:24:13,719 --> 00:24:15,030
Oh, no.
599
00:24:15,054 --> 00:24:16,998
Fred, I don't think
you're healed properly.
600
00:24:17,022 --> 00:24:18,600
No, I'll be all right.
601
00:24:18,624 --> 00:24:20,536
Hand me my shoes over there.
602
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:22,471
Let's get on out of here.
603
00:24:22,495 --> 00:24:23,772
Here.
604
00:24:23,796 --> 00:24:25,741
Well, all right.
605
00:24:25,765 --> 00:24:28,544
Come on. Let's
get on out of here.
606
00:24:28,568 --> 00:24:30,608
Get my clothes down
here, down the hall.
41933
