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1
00:00:01,070 --> 00:00:02,399
[thinking] Out there,
2
00:00:02,400 --> 00:00:04,869
while people gossip
or take 10-minute breaks,
3
00:00:04,870 --> 00:00:06,339
I remain at the ready.
4
00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:08,679
Nothing can happen
that I haven't anticipated.
5
00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:12,409
I am the gatekeeper,
the keeper of secrets,
6
00:00:12,410 --> 00:00:15,079
for I am Birdgirl's assistant.
7
00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:17,680
- Gillian!
- And Judy's.
8
00:00:17,690 --> 00:00:20,149
My veggie gumbo
has tomatoes again.
9
00:00:20,150 --> 00:00:21,550
On it, boss.
10
00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:23,820
[thinking]
I was made for this.
11
00:00:24,084 --> 00:00:24,750
♪ Hey! ♪
♪ Oh, my god, oh, my god, ♪
12
00:00:24,751 --> 00:00:25,670
♪ oh, my god, oh, my god. ♪
13
00:00:25,694 --> 00:00:28,429
- ♪ Hey! ♪
- ♪ Who's the girl that saves the world? ♪
14
00:00:28,430 --> 00:00:32,030
- ♪ Hey! ♪
- [imitates fanfare] ♪ Birdgirl! ♪
15
00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:36,930
Still half a million short.
Damn.
16
00:00:36,940 --> 00:00:39,939
- Maybe if we sell the Northfield plant.
- We already did.
17
00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:42,200
- I thought we sold Southfield.
- We did.
18
00:00:42,210 --> 00:00:44,609
- Eastfield?
- No one would buy Eastfield.
19
00:00:44,610 --> 00:00:46,279
It's in the middle of nowhere.
20
00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:47,809
Plus, it smells like beans.
21
00:00:47,810 --> 00:00:49,479
[cellphone dialing]
Yuri: Hello?
22
00:00:49,480 --> 00:00:50,679
Yuri, Charlie.
23
00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:52,879
I have a property
so deep in assburg,
24
00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:54,619
- it's not on the map.
- I'll take it.
25
00:00:54,620 --> 00:00:56,019
He wants East assburg.
26
00:00:56,020 --> 00:00:58,689
- I won't take a penny less than...
- Are you nuts?
27
00:00:58,690 --> 00:01:01,359
We got a live one here.
Don't blow it.
28
00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:03,080
- [whispering indistinctly]
- We've got a deal.
29
00:01:03,104 --> 00:01:04,690
- We've got a deal.
- Lock it up.
30
00:01:04,700 --> 00:01:07,160
Someone must have made a sale,
'cause I just piddled.
31
00:01:07,170 --> 00:01:09,299
[chuckles]
Not really.
32
00:01:09,300 --> 00:01:12,299
Oh! Still 12 bucks short.
33
00:01:12,300 --> 00:01:14,840
[can opener whirring]
34
00:01:18,110 --> 00:01:19,509
[whirring stops]
35
00:01:19,510 --> 00:01:22,649
[whirring resumes]
36
00:01:22,650 --> 00:01:24,449
Whoa-ho, whoa, whoa, whoa.
37
00:01:24,450 --> 00:01:26,049
She eats on the company dime?
38
00:01:26,050 --> 00:01:29,449
- He does.
- Huh. I thought all cats were girls.
39
00:01:29,450 --> 00:01:31,850
Anyway, there's your 12 bucks,
right there.
40
00:01:31,860 --> 00:01:35,059
And, uh, you could afford
to miss a couple of meals.
41
00:01:35,060 --> 00:01:36,729
[meowing angrily]
42
00:01:36,730 --> 00:01:38,999
Aaah!
Get her off me!
43
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:41,799
Sir, Peter Pants contributes
in ways you don't know,
44
00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:45,399
but, fine, we'll switch him
to... dry food.
45
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:49,209
- Carry the 2, and... blammo... we hit zero.
- Thank god.
46
00:01:49,210 --> 00:01:51,939
Maybe this will stop all the
employee rumors about layoffs.
47
00:01:51,940 --> 00:01:53,980
There have been rumors about
layoffs? [clears throat]
48
00:01:54,004 --> 00:01:57,410
The shifting of resources
may mean staff changes.
49
00:01:57,420 --> 00:01:59,419
In fact, I'm sure of it.
50
00:01:59,420 --> 00:02:03,289
Why didn't someone tell me
"staff changes" means "layoffs"?
51
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:06,419
I'm the good CEO.
I can't lay people off.
52
00:02:06,420 --> 00:02:08,159
And you won't have to,
as long as you stick
53
00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:11,290
to this ass-clenchingly
precarious balance sheet.
54
00:02:11,300 --> 00:02:15,299
Speaking of ass-clenching,
anyone headed outside?
55
00:02:15,300 --> 00:02:16,429
[leash rattles]
56
00:02:16,430 --> 00:02:18,630
- Well, that went well.
- You did great.
57
00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:21,039
You're actually kind of
growing into this.
58
00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:22,439
I kind of am.
59
00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:23,770
Gillian!
I'm running late.
60
00:02:23,780 --> 00:02:25,509
I'm just gonna Birdgirl
straight from here.
61
00:02:25,510 --> 00:02:26,979
Fresh from the cleaner's!
62
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,909
- Did you...
- Reinforce the pits and tits?
63
00:02:28,910 --> 00:02:30,179
Of course.
64
00:02:30,180 --> 00:02:32,179
Hey, anybody want to grab a drink?
65
00:02:32,180 --> 00:02:33,780
[gasps]
[door buzzes]
66
00:02:33,790 --> 00:02:34,989
That was close. Did he see it?
Did he see the suit?
67
00:02:34,990 --> 00:02:36,519
Did he see it, you guys?
Did he see it?
68
00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:38,119
Hold it up like you were.
69
00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:40,520
Okay, this is very important.
70
00:02:40,530 --> 00:02:42,729
No one can see the suit,
71
00:02:42,730 --> 00:02:45,729
because then they'll know
that Judy is also...
72
00:02:45,730 --> 00:02:48,129
Wait, I almost said it.
73
00:02:48,130 --> 00:02:50,269
[whispering]
Does Meredith know?
74
00:02:50,270 --> 00:02:52,799
- Do I know what?
- Don't be mean.
75
00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:55,939
Yes, I know, along with
everything else,
76
00:02:55,940 --> 00:02:59,810
because I'm in your mind.
77
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:02,879
Gillian, it's kind of
a low-key secret.
78
00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:04,549
It's okay for people
really close to me
79
00:03:04,550 --> 00:03:05,949
to know about Birdgirl,
80
00:03:05,950 --> 00:03:08,349
but I don't want everybody
knowing about it.
81
00:03:08,350 --> 00:03:10,019
Judy, if even just one person
82
00:03:10,020 --> 00:03:11,689
knows about
your secret identity,
83
00:03:11,690 --> 00:03:12,889
then they tell three more,
84
00:03:12,890 --> 00:03:14,289
then those three become nine,
85
00:03:14,290 --> 00:03:16,029
then they tell three,
and it's three cubed.
86
00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:17,690
You see where
I'm going with this?
87
00:03:17,700 --> 00:03:20,159
Then, someone falsely claims
Birdgirl injures them
88
00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:24,969
and sues Judy Ken Sebben
for all of Sebben & Sebben.
89
00:03:24,970 --> 00:03:27,169
Gillian, I appreciate it.
[grunts]
90
00:03:27,170 --> 00:03:29,330
But there are already a ton
of pictures on the internet
91
00:03:29,354 --> 00:03:31,370
comparing me and Birdgirl.
92
00:03:31,380 --> 00:03:33,979
Ooh, pits then tits.
93
00:03:33,980 --> 00:03:36,509
Wah-wah.
Much better.
94
00:03:36,510 --> 00:03:41,180
- Three, two, one.
- Birdgirl!
95
00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:45,659
Tell no one
of what you've seen here.
96
00:03:45,660 --> 00:03:48,120
I will tell no one of that.
97
00:03:48,130 --> 00:03:50,729
I protect Judy's secret identity,
98
00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:53,529
not for her sake but for ours.
99
00:03:53,530 --> 00:03:57,470
Well, a little bit for hers.
She's so boss.
100
00:03:58,740 --> 00:03:59,740
[light switch clicks]
101
00:03:59,741 --> 00:04:01,970
Let's get you home.
102
00:04:06,740 --> 00:04:09,549
[men chuckling]
[grunting]
103
00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:12,210
[humming]
[dye pack beeping]
104
00:04:12,220 --> 00:04:13,549
Hmm?
105
00:04:13,550 --> 00:04:16,220
- [blast]
- [gasps] That was unexpected.
106
00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:19,720
[light switch clicks]
107
00:04:19,721 --> 00:04:20,941
[purring]
108
00:04:21,430 --> 00:04:22,860
Man: Energy.
109
00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:32,099
"No, not same!"
110
00:04:32,100 --> 00:04:33,500
Nuh-unh.
111
00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:35,920
Birdgirl:
Coming in for landing.
112
00:04:35,944 --> 00:04:38,909
I'll be there in three, two...
113
00:04:38,910 --> 00:04:40,909
Birdgirl!
[meows]
114
00:04:40,910 --> 00:04:43,710
Gillian, did you get
the cost-saving
115
00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:47,119
- but still-delicious cat food?
- Of course.
116
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,919
After he eats,
can you play with him?
117
00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:50,719
I got a cat so he could play
with himself,
118
00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:52,589
but he doesn't,
because he's a cat.
119
00:04:52,590 --> 00:04:56,186
[singing indistinctly]
120
00:04:57,860 --> 00:05:00,799
[purrs]
121
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,060
Okay, great day today, Gillian.
122
00:05:02,070 --> 00:05:03,669
You can go home now
and get some rest.
123
00:05:03,670 --> 00:05:06,869
I am so amped. I'm never
gonna get to sleep tonight.
124
00:05:06,870 --> 00:05:09,692
[guitar plays softly] [yawning]
Make sure I sign those contracts
125
00:05:09,784 --> 00:05:12,569
tomorrow and find something
126
00:05:12,635 --> 00:05:16,180
to remove blue dye...
from... skin.
127
00:05:18,550 --> 00:05:21,349
[light switch clicks]
128
00:05:21,350 --> 00:05:23,950
[music fades]
129
00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:26,590
[meows]
130
00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:37,630
♪ When I'm alone ♪
131
00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:41,300
♪ And I've got no one
to dry my tears ♪
132
00:05:41,310 --> 00:05:45,309
♪ I hear a voice
crying out ♪
133
00:05:45,310 --> 00:05:46,979
♪ In my... ♪
134
00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:48,979
Carl!
I can't take this anymore.
135
00:05:48,980 --> 00:05:51,979
- None of us can take it.
- Eileen, I'm a grown man, okay?!
136
00:05:51,980 --> 00:05:54,249
I've been out looking for a job,
and now I'm home.
137
00:05:54,250 --> 00:05:56,319
I just want to spread my legs
and relax!
138
00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:59,119
- You're drunk, Dad.
- You're both drunk.
139
00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:01,859
Where'd this goddamn cat
come from?! [purring]
140
00:06:01,860 --> 00:06:04,259
Cassie, how many times
do I have to tell you
141
00:06:04,260 --> 00:06:07,199
to close the screen door
when you come in?
142
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,530
- Dad, you're drunk. That door was shut.
- Dad, you're drunk.
143
00:06:10,540 --> 00:06:13,539
You know Cassie always shuts
that door when she gets home.
144
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,610
You're just too drunk to notice.
145
00:06:17,610 --> 00:06:18,879
[glass shatters]
146
00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:23,349
My god.
That goddamn cat's right.
147
00:06:23,350 --> 00:06:27,349
I'm a drunk. I need to dry
out and get my family back.
148
00:06:27,350 --> 00:06:31,150
- We're right here, Dad.
- Cassie: We've always been here, Dad.
149
00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:35,559
[gasps] Risking country
music star Caleb Lee Hutchinson?
150
00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:39,829
We'll always be here, Cassie,
right here, no matter what.
151
00:06:39,830 --> 00:06:41,629
[smoke detector beeping]
152
00:06:41,630 --> 00:06:43,899
♪ Unlock the door ♪
♪ and set it free ♪
153
00:06:43,900 --> 00:06:45,439
♪ Unlock the door ♪
♪ and let it be ♪
154
00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:46,769
[screaming]
155
00:06:46,770 --> 00:06:48,239
[elevator bell dings]
Dee-dee-doo.
156
00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:50,039
Morning, all.
Good morning.
157
00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:52,709
Good morn...
Oh! Oh, my god!
158
00:06:52,710 --> 00:06:54,440
Floris is dead!
159
00:06:54,450 --> 00:06:55,579
- What?
- What?
160
00:06:55,580 --> 00:06:58,150
[indistinct conversations]
161
00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:02,449
No? Just resting?
162
00:07:02,450 --> 00:07:04,450
Thank goodness.
[yawns]
163
00:07:04,460 --> 00:07:08,520
Floris, refill that carafe,
you lazy bag.
164
00:07:08,530 --> 00:07:11,259
Energy.
165
00:07:11,260 --> 00:07:13,060
[elevator bell dings]
[clears throat]
166
00:07:13,070 --> 00:07:14,529
Good morning, Judy.
167
00:07:14,530 --> 00:07:18,130
I haven't seen you
since 6:00 p.m. last night,
168
00:07:18,140 --> 00:07:21,539
- when we both left work.
- Your dress is smoking.
169
00:07:21,540 --> 00:07:23,939
[gasps]
170
00:07:23,940 --> 00:07:25,780
- We have to fire Gillian.
- We can't fire Gillian.
171
00:07:25,804 --> 00:07:28,609
Remember that ass-clenchingly
precarious balance sheet?
172
00:07:28,610 --> 00:07:31,749
Her ridiculous number of O.T.
hours has put us in the red.
173
00:07:31,750 --> 00:07:33,819
[singsong voice]
I need those ridiculous hours.
174
00:07:33,820 --> 00:07:35,949
My life will fall apart.
175
00:07:35,950 --> 00:07:37,819
- We've got no choice.
- Unless we...
176
00:07:37,820 --> 00:07:41,159
- Put her in a coma.
- ...hire another assistant to split her workload.
177
00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:42,640
[normal voice]
Probably what Mer said.
178
00:07:42,664 --> 00:07:44,690
A new employee is actually
cheaper than overtime.
179
00:07:44,700 --> 00:07:47,829
Okay, great, now Birdgirl gets
an all-night assistant.
180
00:07:47,830 --> 00:07:49,369
No more boring sleep.
181
00:07:49,370 --> 00:07:51,899
- I'll get Gillian.
- Crudité time.
182
00:07:51,900 --> 00:07:55,439
- Gillian, take a seat.
- Did I do something wrong?
183
00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:59,039
- No, you did everything right.
- You're working too much.
184
00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:00,509
I'm working
just the right amount
185
00:08:00,510 --> 00:08:01,779
of all the time,
all the time.
186
00:08:01,780 --> 00:08:04,179
Gillian, we were wondering,
you know,
187
00:08:04,180 --> 00:08:08,580
would it be so bad
if we hired a night assistant?
188
00:08:08,590 --> 00:08:11,319
You take normal business hours,
6:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m.,
189
00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:13,989
- and someone else...
- Okay, perfect.
190
00:08:13,990 --> 00:08:15,259
That went easier than I thought.
191
00:08:15,260 --> 00:08:17,459
I'll start the hiring process
straightaway.
192
00:08:17,460 --> 00:08:19,199
I already know who I'll hire.
193
00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:21,529
[inhales deeply, exhales sharply]
194
00:08:21,530 --> 00:08:24,599
We need someone with tight
lips and a tighter ass...
195
00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:27,069
Not literally.
Just someone who can keep a secret
196
00:08:27,070 --> 00:08:30,069
- and takes it deadly serious.
- Gillian said "ass."
197
00:08:30,070 --> 00:08:32,880
I'll find the one person
who can do this job.
198
00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:38,280
Mm.
199
00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:40,480
- Gillian!
- Gillian!
200
00:08:40,490 --> 00:08:43,350
Loose lips.
Can't keep his mouth shut.
201
00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:46,889
None of these people
are good enough for Judy.
202
00:08:46,890 --> 00:08:47,760
Bingo.
203
00:08:47,761 --> 00:08:49,759
Gillian. Hi.
204
00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:51,229
- Ugh.
- Hi, Benjy.
205
00:08:51,230 --> 00:08:55,169
Rumor has it, the boss is
looking for some night help.
206
00:08:55,170 --> 00:08:59,770
FYI... the best version of me
comes out at night.
207
00:09:00,570 --> 00:09:03,770
Everyone knows that's just
stacked pubic hair, Benjy.
208
00:09:03,780 --> 00:09:06,379
Besides, you're too late,
as "ushe."
209
00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:09,709
- I've already found the perfect match.
- Oh, yeah? Who?
210
00:09:09,710 --> 00:09:14,319
- None of your beeswax, "pube-jy."
- Okay, okay, good burn.
211
00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:18,189
Welp, when you realize you're
desperate for the Benjy effect,
212
00:09:18,190 --> 00:09:19,919
you know where to find me.
213
00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:23,329
Nowhere near Birdgirl.
That's where.
214
00:09:23,330 --> 00:09:27,260
Interestingly, she's a little
casual about her secret identity,
215
00:09:27,270 --> 00:09:29,669
which means we have to be
super serious about it.
216
00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:32,200
Got it?
[British accent] Got it.
217
00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:37,009
- [grunts] Hyah!
- [normal voice] Oh, my...
218
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:40,139
- Nose in the carpet, hands above the top bun.
- [British accent] Oh, hello.
219
00:09:40,140 --> 00:09:42,609
I'm Gennifer,
your new night assistant.
220
00:09:42,610 --> 00:09:46,019
Oh, so, so sorry! She told
me you'd be starting tonight.
221
00:09:46,020 --> 00:09:47,540
I'm shocked
she actually hired someone.
222
00:09:47,564 --> 00:09:48,889
She's, like, totally freaked out
223
00:09:48,890 --> 00:09:50,689
about people learning
my not-secret identity.
224
00:09:50,690 --> 00:09:53,019
[forced laughter]
225
00:09:53,020 --> 00:09:55,359
Oh, that Gillian.
[chuckles]
226
00:09:55,360 --> 00:10:00,899
Stop.
Hmmmmm.
227
00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:03,569
- Show time.
- [normal voice] Nice job, Gennifer.
228
00:10:03,570 --> 00:10:05,030
[British accent] You, too, Gillian.
229
00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:06,720
[normal voice]
You're almost as good as me.
230
00:10:06,744 --> 00:10:08,969
Nobody's that good.
Oh, one thing.
231
00:10:08,970 --> 00:10:11,039
Never give Birdgirl
a freshly sharpened knife,
232
00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:12,709
because she stores them
in her pants.
233
00:10:12,710 --> 00:10:14,040
Oh, I know.
How?
234
00:10:14,050 --> 00:10:16,649
Because I'm you.
235
00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:18,579
You're kind of crazy.
236
00:10:18,580 --> 00:10:20,280
And I quite like it.
237
00:10:24,590 --> 00:10:25,959
[yawns]
Energy.
238
00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:30,759
Another day guarding the secret
comes to a successful end.
239
00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:33,029
[alarm clock ringing]
♪ I will paint a picture ♪
240
00:10:33,030 --> 00:10:35,099
Just as another begins.
241
00:10:35,100 --> 00:10:38,830
The sun rises because of me,
though I'm not the sun.
242
00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:40,439
That's, like,
elizabethan for,
243
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:42,109
"what have you done
for me lately?"
244
00:10:42,110 --> 00:10:45,909
♪ When I jump inside
and walk on... ♪
245
00:10:45,910 --> 00:10:49,779
What the [bleep]
have you done?
246
00:10:49,780 --> 00:10:51,579
That's totally normal.
247
00:10:51,580 --> 00:10:53,519
Okay, so tonight is your speech
248
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:55,719
at the Harley-Davidson hogs
for a female cause.
249
00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:57,189
And Friday, you have
250
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:59,030
the Women in business
male empowerment seminar,
251
00:10:59,054 --> 00:11:01,389
a networking event for
businesswomen, run by men.
252
00:11:01,390 --> 00:11:03,390
Got it. Let's write
the keynote for tonight.
253
00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:05,329
Maybe we start with
some motorcycle slang.
254
00:11:05,330 --> 00:11:06,859
"Good evening, riders.
255
00:11:06,860 --> 00:11:09,942
I hope you're all keeping
the rubber side down."
256
00:11:11,940 --> 00:11:13,199
Cutting. Right.
257
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:15,669
The latest numbers are in.
258
00:11:15,670 --> 00:11:17,070
Productivity is way down.
259
00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:18,640
People are spending
all their work hours
260
00:11:18,664 --> 00:11:20,540
droning on
about the not-layoffs.
261
00:11:20,550 --> 00:11:24,479
So, by worrying about layoffs,
employee productivity is down,
262
00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:27,619
- which will lead to massive layoffs.
- I'll take notes.
263
00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:30,550
Thanks for saying that...
out loud.
264
00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:33,289
I say, if they can't stop
talking about layoffs,
265
00:11:33,290 --> 00:11:35,559
- do some layoffs.
- No, we have to find some way
266
00:11:35,560 --> 00:11:37,090
to get a positive message
out there.
267
00:11:37,100 --> 00:11:40,099
- Bwee-oop?
- No. No cheating.
268
00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:43,029
Just a snap of these fingers, and
everyone forgets about layoffs...
269
00:11:43,030 --> 00:11:44,499
and a few of them, their names.
270
00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:46,039
No, we're gonna do this
the right way.
271
00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:48,900
I'll go to these functions
and deliver an upbeat view
272
00:11:48,910 --> 00:11:51,309
of Sebben & Sebben.
Meredith, you do a listening tour.
273
00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:52,839
Make the employees
talk so much,
274
00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:55,909
they forget what they're afraid
of, but no "bwee-oop."
275
00:11:55,910 --> 00:11:58,249
- I promise.
- Gillian, I forgot to tell Gennifer
276
00:11:58,250 --> 00:11:59,810
I'm gonna need her
at the event tonight,
277
00:11:59,834 --> 00:12:02,449
and you, both of you...
there... tonight...
278
00:12:02,450 --> 00:12:04,189
at the same time.
Can you let her know?
279
00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:06,859
Uh, both of us?
There, tonight?
280
00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:07,979
I'll do some Birdgirl-ing,
281
00:12:07,980 --> 00:12:09,659
go to the event, then
get back to Birdgirl-ing.
282
00:12:09,660 --> 00:12:11,259
It's a Birdgirl sandwich
with a hog-meat center.
283
00:12:11,260 --> 00:12:12,999
Speaking of hog meat,
where is Birdcat?
284
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,060
Energy.
[snorting]
285
00:12:14,070 --> 00:12:15,470
I'll find him.
286
00:12:15,471 --> 00:12:18,399
♪ ♪
287
00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:21,400
I don't know, Trace,
they just put me on register,
288
00:12:21,410 --> 00:12:23,139
and I don't want to lose this job.
289
00:12:23,140 --> 00:12:25,139
I'll pay it all back
on Thursday, babe.
290
00:12:25,140 --> 00:12:26,939
They won't even know.
291
00:12:26,940 --> 00:12:30,010
[purring]
292
00:12:30,020 --> 00:12:32,619
My god,
even a cat can see it.
293
00:12:32,620 --> 00:12:35,619
I don't need to sacrifice
my job for a man!
294
00:12:35,620 --> 00:12:37,489
Get your hands off me,
and get out!
295
00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:41,360
We are done and done,
and don't ever come back here!
296
00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:45,359
I don't know where or how
or why or how,
297
00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:49,769
but i'll get you, cat.
That cat's a freak.
298
00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:52,500
He's not a freak!
He's an angel.
299
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:55,639
- ♪ Unlock the door ♪
- ♪ and set it free ♪
300
00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:57,909
- ♪ Unlock the door ♪
- ♪ and let it be ♪
301
00:12:58,110 --> 00:13:00,309
So, let's go
around the room,
302
00:13:00,310 --> 00:13:01,849
and you tell me
what's on your mind.
303
00:13:01,850 --> 00:13:04,910
Using the pads in front of you,
I want you to write down...
304
00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:07,249
- [Bleep] journaling!
- Am I in trouble here?
305
00:13:07,250 --> 00:13:08,580
Is this about the layoffs?
306
00:13:08,590 --> 00:13:11,189
Like, 1 to 10,
what's my risk exposure?
307
00:13:11,190 --> 00:13:13,119
[Bleep] it!
We're all at risk!
308
00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:14,859
Look, either way, I'm covered.
309
00:13:14,860 --> 00:13:16,529
Protected class.
They can't fire me.
310
00:13:16,530 --> 00:13:18,570
It'd look like they discriminate
against majorities.
311
00:13:18,594 --> 00:13:21,529
And the majority of people would
have a big problem with that.
312
00:13:21,530 --> 00:13:22,869
They might rise up,
take the power
313
00:13:22,870 --> 00:13:24,930
they already have
into their own hands.
314
00:13:24,940 --> 00:13:28,170
- [Bleep] it!
- Thanks for coming, everyone.
315
00:13:29,070 --> 00:13:31,939
And...
synchronize watches.
316
00:13:31,940 --> 00:13:33,540
The event starts at 8:00.
317
00:13:33,550 --> 00:13:36,279
Gennifer, you meet Birdgirl
at the southeastern entrance
318
00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:38,549
at exactly 19:56
with Judy's outfit.
319
00:13:38,550 --> 00:13:40,149
[British accent] Got it.
320
00:13:40,150 --> 00:13:43,889
Birdgirl, you'll steal away
behind the chocolate abyss.
321
00:13:43,890 --> 00:13:45,219
Chocolate abyss?
322
00:13:45,220 --> 00:13:46,559
Oh, it's a bottomless fondue pot,
323
00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:48,359
which will provide you
with ample cover
324
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:50,290
to change into judy's
evening gown.
325
00:13:50,300 --> 00:13:53,299
Then, you'll meet me, Gillian,
at the production booth,
326
00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:55,634
where I'll drop off her
head shot to be projected on
327
00:13:55,635 --> 00:13:57,969
the screen, and we'll get
Judy ready to go onstage.
328
00:13:57,970 --> 00:14:00,040
Got that, Gillian?
Roger.
329
00:14:01,370 --> 00:14:03,439
Le coq au vin, Gillian.
330
00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:05,439
Benjy?
What are you doing here?
331
00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:08,379
I never miss this event...
for obvious reasons.
332
00:14:08,380 --> 00:14:10,379
Benjy works
at Sebben & Sebben.
333
00:14:10,380 --> 00:14:13,849
Miss Ken Sebben,
we're all pulling for you.
334
00:14:13,850 --> 00:14:17,650
[wristwatch beeping] Finally,
a female CEO. It's time.
335
00:14:17,660 --> 00:14:19,859
Man: Introducing
your keynote speaker...
336
00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:23,389
- Speech, speech!
- ...CEO, and honorary hog...
337
00:14:23,390 --> 00:14:24,590
Speech, speech,
speech, speech.
338
00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:26,859
...Judy Ken Sebben!
339
00:14:26,860 --> 00:14:29,329
[cheers and applause]
340
00:14:29,330 --> 00:14:35,230
♪♪
341
00:14:35,740 --> 00:14:38,070
[engine revs, tires squeal]
342
00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:43,749
♪♪
343
00:14:43,750 --> 00:14:45,210
[engine idling]
344
00:14:45,220 --> 00:14:46,619
Hello, riders.
345
00:14:46,620 --> 00:14:49,080
I hope you're keeping
the rubber side down.
346
00:14:49,090 --> 00:14:50,619
[cheers and applause]
347
00:14:50,620 --> 00:14:54,559
I just found out we raised
over $160 million
348
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,029
for female causes tonight.
349
00:14:56,030 --> 00:14:58,890
Isn't that something?
[cheers and applause]
350
00:14:58,900 --> 00:15:01,429
Uh, $160,000.
351
00:15:01,430 --> 00:15:04,100
[audience groans]
Sorry about that.
352
00:15:04,900 --> 00:15:08,639
- [audience "ohhs"]
- We live in amazing times.
353
00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:12,140
In my company,
old ladies are no longer
354
00:15:12,141 --> 00:15:14,240
considered just back-warmers.
355
00:15:14,250 --> 00:15:16,179
[audience groans]
356
00:15:16,180 --> 00:15:20,115
And when it comes to my
employees, uh, if they
357
00:15:20,116 --> 00:15:24,050
can't stop talking about
layoffs, do some layoffs.
358
00:15:24,060 --> 00:15:26,259
Sorry, uh, bit of a mix-up.
359
00:15:26,260 --> 00:15:28,059
Must be the fumes.
360
00:15:28,060 --> 00:15:30,790
[single laughter]
361
00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:36,269
Just so we're clear, there are
no massive layoffs going on.
362
00:15:36,270 --> 00:15:37,999
I'm gonna stop saying
the word "layoffs."
363
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:41,400
This is the absolute last time
I say "layoffs."
364
00:15:41,410 --> 00:15:42,939
[grunts]
365
00:15:42,940 --> 00:15:44,780
You were so concerned
about my secret identity,
366
00:15:44,804 --> 00:15:46,479
we messed up the reason
we were here...
367
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:48,809
to stop the rumors about layoffs.
368
00:15:48,810 --> 00:15:51,610
- Not happy, Gillian.
- It's my fault.
369
00:15:51,620 --> 00:15:53,680
You do seem to be stretched
a little thin.
370
00:15:53,690 --> 00:15:55,349
What if somehow
we found the funds
371
00:15:55,350 --> 00:15:57,019
to hire a second assistant
to assist you?
372
00:15:57,020 --> 00:15:59,559
What about that weird kid
on the 27th floor?
373
00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:01,359
The pubic-lump guy?
374
00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:03,159
Yeah, he seems to be
an upper-level floater.
375
00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:06,959
Super perfect way to describe him.
Benjy can fill in the gaps
376
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:09,000
- Man: Energy.
- ...that Gillian and Gennifer might miss.
377
00:16:09,024 --> 00:16:12,369
There are no gaps!
I mean, okay, great.
378
00:16:12,370 --> 00:16:13,839
Benjy it is. I'll tell him.
379
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,439
I know where to find him.
We're friends.
380
00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:18,509
Even though I hate him.
381
00:16:18,510 --> 00:16:20,109
[as Benjy] [clears throat]
[gasps]
382
00:16:20,110 --> 00:16:21,979
Your magnetic pen, ma'am?
383
00:16:21,980 --> 00:16:24,179
Benjy here, reporting for duty.
384
00:16:24,180 --> 00:16:26,249
I'm Benjy.
Yeah, that's me.
385
00:16:26,250 --> 00:16:30,220
Hmmmmm.
386
00:16:31,660 --> 00:16:32,989
Great!
Welcome to the team!
387
00:16:32,990 --> 00:16:35,259
[normal voice]
Judy Ken Sebben's office.
388
00:16:35,260 --> 00:16:38,390
[as Benjy]
Judy Ken Sebben's office.
389
00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:42,999
[British accent] I'm a tea
drinker, Floris! You git!
390
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:44,130
Benjy!
391
00:16:44,140 --> 00:16:45,269
Gillian!
392
00:16:45,270 --> 00:16:47,339
Gennifer!
[cellphone rings]
393
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,339
[as Benjy]
Judy Ken Sebben's office.
394
00:16:49,340 --> 00:16:51,879
[coughing]
Energy.
395
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:53,940
[water running]
396
00:16:53,950 --> 00:16:55,679
[normal voice]
Benjy, you're so annoying.
397
00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:57,879
Aah!
Look at yourself.
398
00:16:57,880 --> 00:17:00,749
You need help.
You're going to die.
399
00:17:00,750 --> 00:17:03,550
Then I'm going to die,
and nobody's going to know
400
00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:05,924
until a corpse dog
sniffs me out because you
401
00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:08,289
have no friends and
you're always at work.
402
00:17:08,290 --> 00:17:09,759
I have everything
under control.
403
00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:12,429
I can't let you find out
that Judy is Birdgirl.
404
00:17:12,430 --> 00:17:14,499
I know she's Birdgirl.
405
00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:19,099
♪♪
406
00:17:19,100 --> 00:17:21,400
Energy.
407
00:17:24,380 --> 00:17:27,440
- Ahem.
- Did I do something wrong?
408
00:17:27,450 --> 00:17:31,249
Gillian, some things have been
falling through the cracks.
409
00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:32,779
And not just the one
on your face.
410
00:17:32,780 --> 00:17:35,519
I think it'd be best to get
the assistants together...
411
00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:40,059
- on the same page.
- Uh, let me go get them.
412
00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:41,659
[chuckles] Yeah.
413
00:17:41,660 --> 00:17:43,389
Whew.
414
00:17:43,390 --> 00:17:45,729
Energy.
415
00:17:45,730 --> 00:17:47,260
Energy.
416
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:53,328
[glass shatters]
417
00:17:54,540 --> 00:17:56,339
The gig is up, Gennifer.
418
00:17:56,340 --> 00:17:58,070
Or should I say Gillian?
419
00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:00,540
Gillian, you don't
have to do this anymore.
420
00:18:00,550 --> 00:18:02,349
[British accent]
No! I'm Gingerfer.
421
00:18:02,350 --> 00:18:04,349
I'm Gengillian.
422
00:18:04,350 --> 00:18:06,279
Gillian, stop.
You're making it worse.
423
00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:09,819
It is with great sadness,
uh, that we must force you
424
00:18:09,820 --> 00:18:12,819
to use your five months
of unused vacation time.
425
00:18:12,820 --> 00:18:16,489
[normal voice] Fired?!
You're firing me?
426
00:18:16,490 --> 00:18:18,629
[laughs]
Let's just put her in a coma.
427
00:18:18,630 --> 00:18:21,429
I'm the only one strong
enough to keep the secret.
428
00:18:21,430 --> 00:18:23,899
I'm the only one you can trust!
429
00:18:23,900 --> 00:18:29,800
I gave my everythi-i-i-ng!
♪
♪
430
00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:33,779
And now I'm fired!
[grunts]
431
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:36,579
[British accent]
You don't run from me, missy!
432
00:18:36,580 --> 00:18:37,980
[normal voice]
No, you don't run...
433
00:18:38,004 --> 00:18:39,579
[as Benjy]
No, there is no Birdgirl.
434
00:18:39,580 --> 00:18:40,860
[British accent]
No, you shut up!
435
00:18:40,884 --> 00:18:42,919
There's no Birdgirl without me!
436
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:44,850
[normal voice] Or me!
[as Benjy] Or me!
437
00:18:44,860 --> 00:18:47,459
[normal voice]
I'm the keeper of the secret!
438
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:50,129
[British accent]
I'm Judy's assistant!
439
00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:56,030
[deep voice]
I'm all Judy's assistants!
440
00:18:56,470 --> 00:18:58,900
Oh, my god.
441
00:19:01,010 --> 00:19:03,009
[grunts]
442
00:19:03,010 --> 00:19:07,610
You can't see her change
into her costume!
443
00:19:08,550 --> 00:19:11,510
[grunts]
444
00:19:11,511 --> 00:19:13,949
♪ ♪
445
00:19:13,950 --> 00:19:16,619
Carl, we're gonna lose
the house.
446
00:19:16,620 --> 00:19:18,089
Eileen, I'll get another job.
447
00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:20,559
[gasps]
Maybe I'll get a job, too.
448
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:23,959
God damn it, Eileen.
Don't say that.
449
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:26,229
[meows]
How'd that cat get in here?
450
00:19:26,230 --> 00:19:28,429
Cassie!
[china shatters]
451
00:19:28,430 --> 00:19:30,699
40 pounds of dry-aged
wagyu beef.
452
00:19:30,700 --> 00:19:33,839
- The real missing dead see scrolls.
- A Ferrari!
453
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:35,709
The forgotten Klimt painting!
454
00:19:35,710 --> 00:19:39,439
We're gonna be okay.
It's gonna be okay.
455
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:41,109
[chuckles]
456
00:19:41,110 --> 00:19:43,710
[lighter clinks]
457
00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:46,319
The cat's lick.
It's...
458
00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:49,389
Pointing to heaven.
That's right.
459
00:19:49,390 --> 00:19:50,589
She's an angel cat.
460
00:19:50,590 --> 00:19:52,059
[smoke detector beeping]
461
00:19:52,060 --> 00:19:53,989
- ♪ Unlock the door ♪
- ♪ and set it free ♪
462
00:19:53,990 --> 00:19:56,129
- ♪ Unlock the door ♪
- ♪ and let it be ♪
463
00:19:56,130 --> 00:19:59,599
♪ Unlock the door
and follow... ♪
464
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:01,199
[screaming]
465
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:04,999
Oh, no, they're out of
that cute leopard print
466
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:08,940
Gennifer wears seamlessly
from morning to evening.
467
00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:11,168
[purring]
468
00:20:11,540 --> 00:20:15,549
Hey!
You shouldn't be out.
469
00:20:15,550 --> 00:20:17,949
Let's get you home.
470
00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:19,419
[cat meows]
471
00:20:19,420 --> 00:20:21,019
Birdgirl: Whoa!
472
00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:23,019
Gillian!
473
00:20:23,020 --> 00:20:24,720
Gillian!
474
00:20:26,420 --> 00:20:30,290
Oh, sorry.
I'll find your wet food.
475
00:20:30,300 --> 00:20:32,629
[thud]
476
00:20:32,630 --> 00:20:34,360
Aw, Gillian.
477
00:20:34,370 --> 00:20:37,830
[grunting]
478
00:20:38,900 --> 00:20:41,909
Gillian: Must protect boss.
479
00:20:41,910 --> 00:20:44,239
[vomiting]
480
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:47,740
[humming]
481
00:20:48,550 --> 00:20:52,449
We're so tired.
482
00:20:52,450 --> 00:20:55,630
- [guitar plays softly]
- [groans]
483
00:20:58,120 --> 00:21:00,720
- Shh.
- [normal voice] What happened?
484
00:21:00,730 --> 00:21:02,789
Pretty sure we're gonna
make the news again.
485
00:21:02,790 --> 00:21:04,059
You can watch tomorrow.
486
00:21:04,060 --> 00:21:06,129
I was just trying to protect you.
487
00:21:06,130 --> 00:21:08,599
Gillian, we're all
just regular people
488
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,434
trying to do the best we can,
489
00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:13,900
- and you're better than best.
- You mean it?
490
00:21:13,901 --> 00:21:15,219
[vomits]
491
00:21:15,410 --> 00:21:19,479
Yes, but you suck
at taking care of yourself.
492
00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:22,679
Rest, and tomorrow we can
talk about that vacation.
493
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:25,210
Wow, that sounds nice.
494
00:21:25,220 --> 00:21:29,689
Whew. Boy, I can...
I can really smell that.
495
00:21:29,690 --> 00:21:30,889
Hoo!
496
00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:34,220
[siren wails in distance]
497
00:21:35,890 --> 00:21:37,829
Birdgirl: Birdcat,
coming in for landing.
498
00:21:37,830 --> 00:21:40,299
I'll be there in three, two...
499
00:21:40,300 --> 00:21:43,670
- [grunts]
- [purring]
500
00:21:43,671 --> 00:21:45,552
♪ ♪
501
00:21:45,570 --> 00:21:47,670
Man: Relax.
502
00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:51,570
Half a mil in the black.
503
00:21:51,580 --> 00:21:54,109
When folks saw that
the stress of working for you
504
00:21:54,110 --> 00:21:56,179
turned your assistant
into a three-headed monster,
505
00:21:56,180 --> 00:21:59,249
some of them decided to
pursue other opportunities.
506
00:21:59,250 --> 00:22:00,980
A lot of people quit.
507
00:22:00,990 --> 00:22:04,250
Veggie gumbo, extra tomatoes.
508
00:22:04,260 --> 00:22:08,189
- When is Gillian back?
- [sniffing] I hate that guy.
509
00:22:08,340 --> 00:22:10,679
♪ Hey, who's the girl
that saves the world? ♪
510
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:12,009
♪ Hey, Birdgirl! ♪
511
00:22:12,010 --> 00:22:13,679
♪ Wins a fight,
unique like pearls ♪
512
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:15,010
♪ Hey, Birdgirl! ♪
513
00:22:15,020 --> 00:22:16,549
♪ Who's the one they can't defeat? ♪
514
00:22:16,550 --> 00:22:18,149
♪ Hey, Birdgirl! ♪
515
00:22:18,150 --> 00:22:19,889
♪ Ultra fierce and so unique ♪
516
00:22:19,890 --> 00:22:22,289
♪ Hey, Birdgirl! ♪
517
00:22:22,490 --> 00:22:24,020
♪ Hey, Birdgirl! ♪
518
00:22:24,030 --> 00:22:26,897
♪ Hey ♪
[imitates fanfare]
519
00:22:27,343 --> 00:22:30,678
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
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