All language subtitles for Baroness Von Sketch Show s01e06 2CatShaPurr.eng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,611 --> 00:00:03,181 It's like, I just want to slap the 2 00:00:03,188 --> 00:00:05,447 ironic glasses right off his face, you know? 3 00:00:05,455 --> 00:00:07,545 Sister, I am so feeling you. 4 00:00:07,553 --> 00:00:10,193 I know, he is literally the worst. 5 00:00:10,205 --> 00:00:13,456 It's like there's Hitler, and then there's him in that order. 6 00:00:13,468 --> 00:00:14,873 Oh my god, guys. 7 00:00:14,879 --> 00:00:17,200 Guys, guys, guys, guys, can I just say to you 8 00:00:17,208 --> 00:00:21,359 that I love our stitching and bitching sessions? 9 00:00:21,374 --> 00:00:22,198 I know. 10 00:00:22,203 --> 00:00:25,031 [Women] Right? Best part of the week. 11 00:00:25,041 --> 00:00:26,311 Oh wait, guys? 12 00:00:26,950 --> 00:00:28,487 Should we be wearing our masks? 13 00:00:28,494 --> 00:00:30,360 Oh my god, I'm such an idiot. 14 00:00:30,368 --> 00:00:31,735 I'm such a huge idiot. 15 00:00:31,741 --> 00:00:33,607 I always forget. 16 00:00:33,615 --> 00:00:35,359 Okay. Okay. 17 00:00:35,366 --> 00:00:36,620 Can you just help me with my hoops? 18 00:00:36,626 --> 00:00:39,050 Oh yeah. There you go. 19 00:00:39,060 --> 00:00:41,373 ["Dancing Underwater" by Brave Shores playing] 20 00:00:41,382 --> 00:00:44,180 ? Me and my friends will spike the punch, ? 21 00:00:44,191 --> 00:00:46,692 ? Lovin' ourselves and causing fun ? 22 00:00:46,700 --> 00:00:50,167 ? Yeah, Hey Hey ? 23 00:00:50,180 --> 00:00:53,148 ? There's no clouds, there's just the sun ? 24 00:00:53,160 --> 00:00:56,661 ? Living in times that are meant for fun yeah ? 25 00:00:59,019 --> 00:01:01,952 ? Hold your breath a little longer ? 26 00:01:01,962 --> 00:01:05,363 ? Let's go dancing underwater ? 27 00:01:05,375 --> 00:01:08,142 ? Oh, oh, oh oh ? 28 00:01:09,268 --> 00:01:13,790 Little To Catch a Purr is not a happy camper right now. 29 00:01:13,806 --> 00:01:16,541 Mommies, any problems, concerns, 30 00:01:16,552 --> 00:01:18,854 any issues I should be aware of? 31 00:01:18,863 --> 00:01:20,184 Oh god. 32 00:01:20,190 --> 00:01:22,844 Intimacy, communication, trust, usual. 33 00:01:22,854 --> 00:01:25,020 Okay, she meant with the cat, not with us, so. 34 00:01:25,029 --> 00:01:26,855 Woman: Oh, oh okay yeah right. 35 00:01:26,863 --> 00:01:28,650 Uh, well, she seems withdrawn. 36 00:01:28,656 --> 00:01:30,328 Okay, I am an introvert. 37 00:01:30,336 --> 00:01:32,267 - We've talked about that. - I meant the cat. 38 00:01:32,274 --> 00:01:34,665 Oh, right, the yes. 39 00:01:36,407 --> 00:01:39,064 Okay um, any changes to the diet? 40 00:01:39,074 --> 00:01:40,642 - We're gluten free. - Yeah. 41 00:01:40,649 --> 00:01:42,928 - I meant the cat. - [Both] Oh, so did we. 42 00:01:44,339 --> 00:01:46,497 Okay, and what about licking? 43 00:01:46,506 --> 00:01:48,137 Is there any excessive licking at home? 44 00:01:48,144 --> 00:01:50,185 - Yeah. - No, I wish. Nope. 45 00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:51,363 I meant with the cat. 46 00:01:51,369 --> 00:01:52,569 [Both] Oh. 47 00:01:52,574 --> 00:01:53,482 Oh right. 48 00:01:53,487 --> 00:01:54,969 Well actually, yes, yeah, there is. 49 00:01:54,976 --> 00:01:55,584 There is, so. 50 00:01:55,588 --> 00:01:57,495 Vet: Okay, and how about drinking, any problems there? 51 00:01:57,503 --> 00:01:59,002 - Yeah. - No. 52 00:01:59,795 --> 00:02:01,463 Two glasses of wine a night. 53 00:02:01,470 --> 00:02:02,721 That's not a drink problem. 54 00:02:02,727 --> 00:02:03,883 I don't know what you think about that. 55 00:02:03,887 --> 00:02:06,046 Woman: When they're served in a mason jar, it is a problem. 56 00:02:06,055 --> 00:02:07,281 That never happened. 57 00:02:07,287 --> 00:02:08,556 Woman: Five ounces, five ounces is a serving. 58 00:02:08,563 --> 00:02:09,929 It says so, it says so! 59 00:02:09,935 --> 00:02:11,465 Vet: Okay, you're upsetting the cat. 60 00:02:11,471 --> 00:02:12,840 You know what, you're upsetting the cat. 61 00:02:12,846 --> 00:02:13,845 [Meow] 62 00:02:13,851 --> 00:02:15,350 Enough. 63 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:17,859 [Both] Sorry. 64 00:02:18,529 --> 00:02:19,835 Sorry. 65 00:02:20,016 --> 00:02:20,840 Sorry. 66 00:02:20,846 --> 00:02:22,345 Okay. 67 00:02:22,485 --> 00:02:24,262 So ah doc, what's next? 68 00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:25,683 What's next? 69 00:02:25,690 --> 00:02:28,231 Well, I don't know. 70 00:02:28,241 --> 00:02:30,524 I mean, I've been a vet for a long time, you know? 71 00:02:30,533 --> 00:02:31,950 Maybe it's time to change it up. 72 00:02:31,956 --> 00:02:33,984 Go back to school, get a degree, 73 00:02:33,992 --> 00:02:35,491 settle down. 74 00:02:35,696 --> 00:02:37,832 Plant some roots, you know? 75 00:02:38,951 --> 00:02:41,283 See if we can make a baby. 76 00:02:41,436 --> 00:02:43,153 Or not, you know, just go on my own. 77 00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:45,012 Get my boots, you know? 78 00:02:45,020 --> 00:02:48,908 What's a gal to do? Do I study French or stay home 79 00:02:48,923 --> 00:02:51,192 and clean the apartment first? 80 00:02:51,201 --> 00:02:52,482 Go to the moon? 81 00:02:52,488 --> 00:02:54,421 Ah, that would be crazy. 82 00:02:54,902 --> 00:02:57,915 So I was thinking, where it says "we love you mom"? 83 00:02:57,926 --> 00:03:00,659 It should be more like, "love you mom" you know? 84 00:03:00,670 --> 00:03:03,338 It's just-it's just, it's more hip, it's more fun. 85 00:03:03,348 --> 00:03:05,014 It's more folksy, you know what I mean? 86 00:03:05,021 --> 00:03:06,720 So we can make that change, right? 87 00:03:07,504 --> 00:03:09,003 [Sighs] 88 00:03:11,514 --> 00:03:13,413 I-I don't hear any tapping. 89 00:03:13,422 --> 00:03:14,147 [Tapping] 90 00:03:14,152 --> 00:03:15,590 Yeah, that's good. 91 00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:16,763 Nice gift. 92 00:03:16,768 --> 00:03:17,766 Yeah, well. 93 00:03:17,772 --> 00:03:19,472 You know what it's about, don't you? 94 00:03:19,718 --> 00:03:20,396 What do you mean? 95 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,449 Lisa has not picked a godmother for Ruby 96 00:03:22,457 --> 00:03:24,224 and I think she's gonna pick one of us, so. 97 00:03:24,233 --> 00:03:25,465 - What? - Yeah. 98 00:03:25,471 --> 00:03:26,470 Oh god. 99 00:03:26,474 --> 00:03:28,506 No, I, I don't want to be a god, 100 00:03:28,514 --> 00:03:29,522 I don't want to be the godmother. 101 00:03:29,527 --> 00:03:30,683 I'm-I'm not doing it. 102 00:03:30,689 --> 00:03:32,557 Yeah, well me neither. Like I hate kids, all of them, 103 00:03:32,565 --> 00:03:34,760 they're terrible and little, except for my own. 104 00:03:34,768 --> 00:03:35,751 That one's okay. 105 00:03:35,756 --> 00:03:37,934 Okay, well it's not me so it's gotta be you. 106 00:03:37,943 --> 00:03:39,035 I'm so sorry, you take that. 107 00:03:39,041 --> 00:03:40,713 Sorry over my dead body, it's not happening. 108 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:42,001 Uh. 109 00:03:43,528 --> 00:03:44,238 [Gasps] 110 00:03:44,243 --> 00:03:45,788 - Hi! - [Both] Hi! 111 00:03:45,795 --> 00:03:47,784 Two of my best friends, I'm so happy to see you! 112 00:03:47,793 --> 00:03:51,294 Listen, I'm so sorry. Ruby just went down for a nap, so. 113 00:03:52,409 --> 00:03:53,439 [Sighs] 114 00:03:53,444 --> 00:03:57,884 I'm so hungover, I'm so bleh. 115 00:03:57,900 --> 00:04:00,602 Yeah, and I, I actually think I'm still drunk 116 00:04:00,612 --> 00:04:02,244 so I haven't even reached that point yet. 117 00:04:02,250 --> 00:04:03,789 - I'm still... - Really. 118 00:04:03,796 --> 00:04:06,367 All right, well, I was wondering if 119 00:04:06,377 --> 00:04:07,700 Woman 2: Before you wonder, 120 00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:09,530 can I share with you the fact 121 00:04:09,539 --> 00:04:13,946 that I am getting into Scientology? 122 00:04:13,961 --> 00:04:14,568 Really? 123 00:04:14,572 --> 00:04:15,299 Woman 2: I don't know if you knew this, 124 00:04:15,303 --> 00:04:18,705 but they have some really good ideas about the soul. 125 00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:19,816 Do they? Because I... 126 00:04:19,822 --> 00:04:22,489 And I could tell Ruby about them if you would like. 127 00:04:22,499 --> 00:04:24,131 Well maybe, before you talk to Ruby, 128 00:04:24,137 --> 00:04:25,337 can I just tell you something? 129 00:04:25,344 --> 00:04:26,743 I just have to stand, actually, 130 00:04:26,749 --> 00:04:29,516 because I have a rotten UTI happening right now 131 00:04:29,527 --> 00:04:31,494 and it really hurts and it's just from all 132 00:04:31,502 --> 00:04:33,387 the unprotected sex I've been having. 133 00:04:33,395 --> 00:04:34,675 Woman 2: I think I hear my phone ringing. 134 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:37,954 I have a silent ringer, but I sense, ooh it is. 135 00:04:37,966 --> 00:04:39,460 It's the bank. 136 00:04:39,467 --> 00:04:41,990 They're calling probably because I owe thousands of dollars. 137 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,994 I am getting back into acid! 138 00:04:45,005 --> 00:04:46,482 Woman 2: And I, speaking of which, 139 00:04:46,488 --> 00:04:47,605 need to call my dealer. 140 00:04:47,611 --> 00:04:48,261 Oh my god. 141 00:04:48,265 --> 00:04:52,381 So, I also have to go because I have a court date. 142 00:04:52,396 --> 00:04:53,754 Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, 143 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:55,691 I have a really big problem. 144 00:04:55,699 --> 00:04:57,965 Who should I make Ruby's godmother? 145 00:04:58,319 --> 00:05:00,583 Jill Kirchman, or my sister? 146 00:05:02,089 --> 00:05:03,489 [Both] Oh! 147 00:05:03,495 --> 00:05:05,261 You don't want to make it one of us? 148 00:05:05,269 --> 00:05:06,268 Good choices. 149 00:05:06,272 --> 00:05:07,271 Good choices, both of those, 150 00:05:07,278 --> 00:05:09,478 Jill, and sister, are amazing choices. 151 00:05:09,486 --> 00:05:10,686 I would never make it you guys. 152 00:05:10,692 --> 00:05:13,025 Are you kidding? That would be insane! 153 00:05:14,909 --> 00:05:17,308 Well, I don't know if it would be insane. 154 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:18,416 Ill advised. 155 00:05:18,422 --> 00:05:20,967 Woman: I think I was class treasurer. 156 00:05:20,976 --> 00:05:23,365 Uh, I know how to brush hair 157 00:05:23,374 --> 00:05:26,076 and make it look really shiny. 158 00:05:26,087 --> 00:05:28,386 I once mowed a lawn 159 00:05:28,395 --> 00:05:30,291 with just my teeth. 160 00:05:31,756 --> 00:05:33,681 Woman: Yeah, so on my new diet I can't have 161 00:05:33,689 --> 00:05:36,331 white flour, sugar, rice, 162 00:05:36,341 --> 00:05:39,339 potatoes, eggs, dairy, 163 00:05:39,351 --> 00:05:42,340 uh processed food, or nitrate vegetables. 164 00:05:42,351 --> 00:05:44,318 - Whoa, that's intense. - Mmm hmm. 165 00:05:44,326 --> 00:05:45,375 How do you stick to that? 166 00:05:45,379 --> 00:05:47,293 Oh you get unlimited masturbation. 167 00:05:47,302 --> 00:05:48,574 - Oh. - Mmm hmm. 168 00:05:48,580 --> 00:05:52,411 [Pan Flute Music] 169 00:05:52,424 --> 00:05:58,962 ? 170 00:05:58,986 --> 00:06:01,086 Okay, is this massage ever going to start? 171 00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:03,928 ? 172 00:06:03,938 --> 00:06:04,937 Oh. 173 00:06:04,942 --> 00:06:05,739 Sorry. 174 00:06:05,743 --> 00:06:07,030 Put that away. 175 00:06:07,036 --> 00:06:08,783 Oh yeah look at that. 176 00:06:08,791 --> 00:06:09,790 She's got a wide load. 177 00:06:09,795 --> 00:06:10,416 Yeah man, she does. 178 00:06:10,420 --> 00:06:13,225 She's got like a lot of junk in that trunk. 179 00:06:13,236 --> 00:06:15,042 Man, there's junk in that trunk. 180 00:06:15,048 --> 00:06:16,815 There's so much junk. 181 00:06:16,824 --> 00:06:17,889 It's a wide load, it's like. 182 00:06:17,894 --> 00:06:19,627 In that trunk man. 183 00:06:19,634 --> 00:06:21,134 Just put it all in there you know. 184 00:06:21,140 --> 00:06:22,239 Just like weighing it down, man. 185 00:06:22,245 --> 00:06:23,444 Just want to get down in there. 186 00:06:23,449 --> 00:06:24,981 You got too much junk in that trunk, lady. 187 00:06:24,989 --> 00:06:26,588 You guys want to help me with this? 188 00:06:26,595 --> 00:06:27,828 Yeah sure, no problem. 189 00:06:27,834 --> 00:06:29,333 Ah, yeah, sure man. 190 00:06:29,747 --> 00:06:32,342 I just got a ton of junk and my trunk can't handle it. 191 00:06:32,352 --> 00:06:34,185 You just gotta ask for some help, man. 192 00:06:34,192 --> 00:06:35,224 No problem at all. 193 00:06:35,230 --> 00:06:36,396 Woman: Thanks so much. 194 00:06:36,401 --> 00:06:37,901 Man: Happy to help, happy to help, man. 195 00:06:37,908 --> 00:06:39,670 Oh yeah, some serious junk, man. 196 00:06:42,325 --> 00:06:43,824 [Phone Chimes] 197 00:06:46,183 --> 00:06:47,499 What is this "LinkedUp!"? 198 00:06:47,505 --> 00:06:48,711 Are you on it? 199 00:06:48,715 --> 00:06:50,782 Oh, it's a social networking site 200 00:06:50,791 --> 00:06:52,724 uh for unemployed people. 201 00:06:52,733 --> 00:06:55,335 Which I guess is kind of all social networking sites, 202 00:06:55,345 --> 00:06:57,311 but on this one you actually admit you're unemployed. 203 00:06:57,319 --> 00:06:58,751 Woman: Oh. Hm. 204 00:07:01,233 --> 00:07:02,732 [Phone Chimes] 205 00:07:05,117 --> 00:07:06,816 I don't even know this woman. 206 00:07:06,923 --> 00:07:08,623 She-she installs windows? 207 00:07:08,630 --> 00:07:10,663 Why would she want to be connected to a writer? 208 00:07:10,671 --> 00:07:13,425 I don't know, maybe she wants you to write a 209 00:07:13,505 --> 00:07:16,483 hm, leaflet for her? 210 00:07:16,494 --> 00:07:18,393 I don't know, I got nothing. 211 00:07:19,306 --> 00:07:20,472 Hm. 212 00:07:20,478 --> 00:07:23,979 [Eerie Music] 213 00:07:25,115 --> 00:07:26,614 [Phone Chimes] 214 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:36,179 [Phone Chimes] 215 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:47,105 [Phone Chimes] 216 00:07:49,261 --> 00:07:50,813 God. 217 00:07:52,799 --> 00:07:55,007 [Knocking] 218 00:07:55,015 --> 00:07:59,684 [Eerie Music] 219 00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:05,421 You Kelly Bond? 220 00:08:05,430 --> 00:08:07,058 Kelly: Yes? 221 00:08:07,064 --> 00:08:08,195 It's for you. 222 00:08:08,201 --> 00:08:10,534 Kelly: Oh, thank you. 223 00:08:16,267 --> 00:08:19,735 [Eerie Music] 224 00:08:19,748 --> 00:08:22,081 Kelly: Oh, oh god! 225 00:08:24,038 --> 00:08:25,536 Ugh. 226 00:08:30,324 --> 00:08:32,824 [Wings Rustling] 227 00:08:33,224 --> 00:08:36,058 [Dramatic Music] 228 00:08:39,854 --> 00:08:43,588 [Suspenseful Music] 229 00:08:45,028 --> 00:08:46,214 Woman 3: Kelly Bond? 230 00:08:46,221 --> 00:08:48,187 Oh god, please no I don't-I don't want it. 231 00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:49,548 I don't want it go and... 232 00:08:49,554 --> 00:08:51,053 You've been served. 233 00:08:51,378 --> 00:08:52,438 Really? 234 00:08:52,447 --> 00:08:54,246 Oh god, thank you! 235 00:08:54,330 --> 00:08:55,454 Thank you, thank you. 236 00:08:55,458 --> 00:08:57,090 [Sighs] 237 00:09:00,444 --> 00:09:02,177 [Sighs Exasperatedly] 238 00:09:05,367 --> 00:09:07,798 Kelly: Leave me alone, Susie K.! 239 00:09:07,808 --> 00:09:09,908 Leave me alone! 240 00:09:09,916 --> 00:09:11,582 Oh, geez! 241 00:09:11,589 --> 00:09:13,088 Ow. 242 00:09:14,434 --> 00:09:15,933 No! 243 00:09:18,914 --> 00:09:20,413 No! 244 00:09:25,544 --> 00:09:28,069 Fine, I accept. 245 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:30,756 [Sobbing] 246 00:09:31,266 --> 00:09:32,765 [Phone Chimes] 247 00:09:34,915 --> 00:09:35,716 What? 248 00:09:35,722 --> 00:09:38,055 Who the hell is Kelly B.? 249 00:09:39,735 --> 00:09:41,434 She sounds like a dick. 250 00:09:42,366 --> 00:09:43,865 Dick. 251 00:09:45,496 --> 00:09:48,584 ? Oh, oh, oh oh ? 252 00:09:49,939 --> 00:09:53,381 ? Oh, oh, oh oh ? 253 00:09:53,394 --> 00:09:54,493 Yeah yeah, but we're not talking 254 00:09:54,497 --> 00:09:57,197 about Levin and-and Goldberg here. 255 00:09:57,207 --> 00:09:59,307 What we're getting at is-is Butler, right? 256 00:09:59,316 --> 00:10:01,449 And her sense of um, 257 00:10:01,458 --> 00:10:04,187 the sort of performativity of-of gender. 258 00:10:04,197 --> 00:10:08,186 But she's not talking about performing ourselves, per se. 259 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:10,305 It's more about iterations. 260 00:10:10,314 --> 00:10:13,246 Like within a construct of the gender binary. 261 00:10:13,257 --> 00:10:16,094 Woman 4: Perpetuated by the patriarchal capitalist machine. 262 00:10:16,105 --> 00:10:17,449 Exactly. 263 00:10:17,455 --> 00:10:19,055 Woman 6: Hi, hey lover. 264 00:10:19,062 --> 00:10:21,061 - Hi! - Oh, hi! Mwah! 265 00:10:21,142 --> 00:10:22,726 How's the gay book club going? 266 00:10:22,733 --> 00:10:24,433 Oh, it's, well it's not really a book club. 267 00:10:24,441 --> 00:10:25,217 Oh. 268 00:10:25,221 --> 00:10:27,221 It's a queer theory reading group. 269 00:10:27,229 --> 00:10:28,228 Woman 6: Oh, yes. 270 00:10:28,233 --> 00:10:30,465 That's, yeah. 271 00:10:30,474 --> 00:10:32,374 I know, yep. 272 00:10:32,381 --> 00:10:34,080 Do you girls want a drink? 273 00:10:35,193 --> 00:10:36,492 What, it's not? 274 00:10:36,498 --> 00:10:37,497 It's not really girls. 275 00:10:37,503 --> 00:10:38,502 It's not really girls. 276 00:10:38,506 --> 00:10:39,505 No. 277 00:10:39,511 --> 00:10:40,744 Women, would you women like? 278 00:10:40,749 --> 00:10:41,748 It's not really women. 279 00:10:41,754 --> 00:10:42,753 - You guys? - Not guys. 280 00:10:42,757 --> 00:10:44,924 - You guys want, no? - Not guys. 281 00:10:44,933 --> 00:10:47,732 You folks want a bite to eat, some food? 282 00:10:47,743 --> 00:10:50,496 I'm gonna go, me go for all of you, here I go. 283 00:10:53,124 --> 00:10:55,265 Yeah, it's a new relationship. 284 00:10:55,274 --> 00:10:57,874 She can't shake her essentialist view of gender. 285 00:10:57,884 --> 00:10:58,883 Well who can? 286 00:10:58,888 --> 00:10:59,887 [Laughing] 287 00:10:59,892 --> 00:11:01,391 Right? 288 00:11:02,939 --> 00:11:05,439 What's so, what's so funny? 289 00:11:05,449 --> 00:11:06,948 What's so funny? 290 00:11:07,021 --> 00:11:08,105 Oh, um. 291 00:11:08,110 --> 00:11:09,757 Woman 5: Just the notion that we don't write culture, 292 00:11:09,765 --> 00:11:10,764 we're written by it. 293 00:11:10,769 --> 00:11:11,869 [Forced Laughter] 294 00:11:11,874 --> 00:11:13,807 Oh my god, that is hilarious! 295 00:11:14,470 --> 00:11:15,969 That's hilarious. 296 00:11:16,291 --> 00:11:17,790 So funny. 297 00:11:19,539 --> 00:11:20,837 Do you want a sandwich? 298 00:11:20,843 --> 00:11:22,793 Oh yeah, totally. 299 00:11:22,854 --> 00:11:25,006 Thanks babe, thanks baby. 300 00:11:26,900 --> 00:11:28,700 Did Deirdre just um? 301 00:11:28,707 --> 00:11:30,643 Infantilize her partner. 302 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:32,986 Woman 4: Did she? 303 00:11:32,992 --> 00:11:34,492 Did she? 304 00:11:34,498 --> 00:11:35,997 Did I? 305 00:11:36,499 --> 00:11:40,274 Or did I just unconsciously get caught 306 00:11:40,287 --> 00:11:42,787 in the ideological crush of the linguistic grid? 307 00:11:43,782 --> 00:11:44,806 Drop the mic! 308 00:11:44,811 --> 00:11:46,082 - Thank you. - Boom. 309 00:11:46,088 --> 00:11:48,757 But, Arthur might suggest that it was actually 310 00:11:48,767 --> 00:11:52,023 Rachel who answered the interpolating call of baby. 311 00:11:52,036 --> 00:11:53,468 And... 312 00:11:54,500 --> 00:11:58,146 Lisa Left Eye Lopes may suggest that the system 313 00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:00,493 got you victim to your own mind. 314 00:12:01,359 --> 00:12:02,858 Boom. 315 00:12:02,865 --> 00:12:04,131 That's your right eye. 316 00:12:04,137 --> 00:12:06,116 Woman 6: Gonna let you get back to your gay book club. 317 00:12:06,124 --> 00:12:07,123 It's... 318 00:12:07,129 --> 00:12:09,449 [All] Queer theory reading. 319 00:12:09,458 --> 00:12:10,957 Group. 320 00:12:11,462 --> 00:12:12,930 Yes. 321 00:12:12,936 --> 00:12:14,435 Woman: Okay. 322 00:12:15,524 --> 00:12:17,541 We both bring different things to the relationship. 323 00:12:17,550 --> 00:12:18,437 We do. 324 00:12:18,498 --> 00:12:21,425 We do, we do, and I bring a little bit of 325 00:12:22,678 --> 00:12:25,011 junk in the trunk, huh? Don't I? 326 00:12:25,607 --> 00:12:27,838 Junk in the trunk, I'm bringing it. 327 00:12:28,764 --> 00:12:32,448 Uh, you know what? I'm gonna give her a hand uh in the kitchen. 328 00:12:32,851 --> 00:12:33,945 Okay. 329 00:12:33,951 --> 00:12:35,602 But not, not a literal hand, right? 330 00:12:35,608 --> 00:12:37,074 Woman 5: Hey. 331 00:12:37,181 --> 00:12:38,680 It's um, 332 00:12:39,806 --> 00:12:41,934 it's a very fulfilling relationship. 333 00:12:42,716 --> 00:12:44,215 It's very fulfilling. 334 00:12:44,588 --> 00:12:45,794 Woman: Oh god you guys. 335 00:12:45,816 --> 00:12:47,338 Do you ever have those days where you feel like 336 00:12:47,345 --> 00:12:48,473 everyone hates you? 337 00:12:48,478 --> 00:12:50,234 Hate's a strong word. 338 00:12:50,242 --> 00:12:52,769 No, it's like, we really dislike you. 339 00:12:52,779 --> 00:12:53,778 [Both] Yeah. 340 00:12:53,783 --> 00:12:55,248 It's more like we're, 341 00:12:55,254 --> 00:12:57,388 I don't know, like deeply annoyed by you. 342 00:12:57,397 --> 00:13:00,064 Yeah, like kind of frustrated by you. 343 00:13:00,074 --> 00:13:01,941 - Exactly. - Deeply frustrated. 344 00:13:01,949 --> 00:13:02,947 Deeply frustrated, yeah. 345 00:13:02,951 --> 00:13:04,617 We don't like, hate you. 346 00:13:04,625 --> 00:13:05,624 [Both] No! 347 00:13:05,629 --> 00:13:08,885 - No, we don't hate you. - No, no, god, no. 348 00:13:08,897 --> 00:13:10,141 Oh my god, I'm so sorry you guys. 349 00:13:10,146 --> 00:13:11,645 I wasn't listening. 350 00:13:11,993 --> 00:13:13,492 What'd you say? 351 00:13:14,364 --> 00:13:15,863 [Sighs] 352 00:13:16,981 --> 00:13:19,101 Dog: I used to be a wolf. 353 00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:22,352 Running free in the forest. 354 00:13:22,362 --> 00:13:25,497 Ripping the flesh from the bones of my prey. 355 00:13:25,509 --> 00:13:27,008 But now look at me. 356 00:13:27,742 --> 00:13:30,528 Thank you, centuries of inbreeding. 357 00:13:30,597 --> 00:13:32,297 I used to be a wolf. 358 00:13:32,806 --> 00:13:37,079 I used to be a wooooolf! 359 00:13:37,222 --> 00:13:38,721 [Sighs] 360 00:13:40,194 --> 00:13:42,991 I heard it's somebody's birthday! 361 00:13:43,002 --> 00:13:45,545 Yes, oh my god, how sweet! 362 00:13:45,556 --> 00:13:47,824 Woman: Okay, now make a wish and then blow out the candle. 363 00:13:47,832 --> 00:13:49,331 Okay um. 364 00:13:49,471 --> 00:13:50,470 Got it. 365 00:13:50,475 --> 00:13:52,408 Oh, hang on, hang on, um, 366 00:13:52,417 --> 00:13:54,656 sorry but isn't-isn't your birthday tomorrow? 367 00:13:54,664 --> 00:13:57,006 Ah yeah, but tomorrow's Saturday so we're. 368 00:13:57,015 --> 00:13:58,741 Oh, okay. 369 00:13:58,749 --> 00:14:00,642 So this is not your birthday today. 370 00:14:00,650 --> 00:14:02,449 I mean, obviously, do what you want 371 00:14:02,456 --> 00:14:05,048 but uh technically, 372 00:14:05,058 --> 00:14:07,034 today isn't your birthday, right? 373 00:14:07,042 --> 00:14:08,374 Yeah, yeah. 374 00:14:08,379 --> 00:14:10,146 Technically, you're right. 375 00:14:10,155 --> 00:14:13,055 Okay, uh I just don't understand why you would have that 376 00:14:13,066 --> 00:14:15,399 cupcake, birthday cupcake then. 377 00:14:15,576 --> 00:14:16,976 Sorry, just, it doesn't really make sense 378 00:14:16,982 --> 00:14:18,481 if it's not your birthday. 379 00:14:18,488 --> 00:14:20,821 So here, why don't I just save you the trouble? 380 00:14:21,318 --> 00:14:22,399 Yeah. 381 00:14:22,404 --> 00:14:25,338 Go like that, and now it's just a regular cupcake. 382 00:14:25,412 --> 00:14:26,911 There you go, enjoy! 383 00:14:27,745 --> 00:14:29,258 There we go. 384 00:14:29,265 --> 00:14:30,689 Woman 4: Hi! 385 00:14:30,695 --> 00:14:32,984 Hey I hear it's your birthday! 386 00:14:32,995 --> 00:14:35,356 Well it's actually, um tomorrow is her birthday. 387 00:14:35,364 --> 00:14:36,621 Oh, okay. 388 00:14:36,627 --> 00:14:37,927 Are you doing something special tonight? 389 00:14:37,933 --> 00:14:40,181 Woman 3: Why would she do something special tonight? 390 00:14:40,687 --> 00:14:41,461 'Cause. 391 00:14:41,467 --> 00:14:42,386 It's not her birthday. 392 00:14:42,391 --> 00:14:44,060 Woman: Hey, it's one day away! 393 00:14:44,067 --> 00:14:46,724 Yeah, but we-we don't celebrate, you know, 394 00:14:46,734 --> 00:14:48,955 New Year's Eve on New Year's Day, do we? 395 00:14:48,977 --> 00:14:50,223 Why do you care so much? 396 00:14:50,230 --> 00:14:51,610 Woman 3: Oh, it's totally fine. 397 00:14:51,616 --> 00:14:53,129 I'm just saying like if we're celebrating birthdays 398 00:14:53,135 --> 00:14:55,426 and we're not getting specific about the day, 399 00:14:55,436 --> 00:14:57,669 then why don't we just celebrate birthdays in general? 400 00:14:57,678 --> 00:15:00,408 You know, let's hey everyone, have a birthday. 401 00:15:00,518 --> 00:15:01,456 Hey, yeah? 402 00:15:01,460 --> 00:15:02,625 Happy birthday! 403 00:15:02,631 --> 00:15:03,754 Let's all have some cake. 404 00:15:03,759 --> 00:15:05,435 Hey everyone, ooh, is it my birthday? 405 00:15:05,442 --> 00:15:06,995 I have a birthday in February, 406 00:15:07,002 --> 00:15:08,330 but it's as good as now. 407 00:15:08,336 --> 00:15:09,420 Why not, you know what? 408 00:15:09,425 --> 00:15:10,478 All is fair, right? 409 00:15:10,484 --> 00:15:12,430 Happy birthday everybody! 410 00:15:12,438 --> 00:15:14,476 Mm, oh it's good. 411 00:15:14,484 --> 00:15:16,818 Mhm, oh yeah, I love your cake. 412 00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:18,789 [Gagging] 413 00:15:18,796 --> 00:15:19,794 Woman 2: Oh my god. 414 00:15:19,799 --> 00:15:24,301 [Spluttering] 415 00:15:26,860 --> 00:15:28,342 I got exactly what I wished for! 416 00:15:28,420 --> 00:15:29,919 Oh that's amazing! 417 00:15:30,409 --> 00:15:31,756 Yeah! 418 00:15:31,762 --> 00:15:33,261 Happy birthday. 419 00:15:34,068 --> 00:15:36,239 I see here that you've been on these for quite a while. 420 00:15:36,248 --> 00:15:39,361 I should warn you that sleeping pills are really addictive. 421 00:15:39,372 --> 00:15:41,978 Yeah, that's why I'm back. 422 00:15:45,334 --> 00:15:47,233 Pharmacist: Well as long as you know. 423 00:15:48,682 --> 00:15:53,151 [Cheering, Applause] 424 00:15:55,660 --> 00:15:56,850 Instructor: Good work, Amy! 425 00:15:56,857 --> 00:15:59,696 Just get into that pole and get it all on there. 426 00:15:59,707 --> 00:16:01,160 Woman: That was so hot! 427 00:16:01,165 --> 00:16:02,030 Instructor: What's wrong with our moody 428 00:16:02,035 --> 00:16:04,440 little bride back there, hiding? 429 00:16:04,450 --> 00:16:05,511 Oh. 430 00:16:05,516 --> 00:16:07,283 Come on, all of your ladies got their 431 00:16:07,291 --> 00:16:09,817 hot junk up on the pole, what's the problem? 432 00:16:09,827 --> 00:16:11,032 Well, okay. 433 00:16:11,037 --> 00:16:13,316 It's just um, it's really dirty. 434 00:16:13,326 --> 00:16:14,247 Woman: Come on! 435 00:16:14,251 --> 00:16:16,384 No for real it's just, listen. 436 00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:17,758 I'm serious, guys. 437 00:16:17,765 --> 00:16:19,332 It is really dirty. 438 00:16:19,339 --> 00:16:21,935 I am like the ninth lady to go on the pole. 439 00:16:21,945 --> 00:16:23,249 I have yet to see a wipe. 440 00:16:23,255 --> 00:16:24,254 I'm just gonna step back. 441 00:16:24,259 --> 00:16:26,191 I'm having a great time, thank you for this. 442 00:16:26,199 --> 00:16:27,465 Keep it up, keep it up. 443 00:16:27,471 --> 00:16:29,271 Instructor: I'm hearing a lot of uh uh uh 444 00:16:29,278 --> 00:16:33,112 when I should be hearing Marjorie, Marjorie! 445 00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:35,163 [All chanting Marjorie] 446 00:16:35,172 --> 00:16:37,603 - Okay. - Marjorie, Marjorie, Marjorie! 447 00:16:37,612 --> 00:16:39,478 Woman 2: Okay Marjorie, get dirty! 448 00:16:39,486 --> 00:16:40,702 Okay. 449 00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:43,324 Instructor: Five, six, a five six seven eight. 450 00:16:43,333 --> 00:16:46,067 ? My fire is flame my my my fire is flame ? 451 00:16:46,077 --> 00:16:48,745 ? My fire is flame my my my fire is flame ? 452 00:16:48,756 --> 00:16:51,390 ? My fire is flame my my my fire is flame ? 453 00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:53,700 ? My fire is flame my my my fire is flame ? 454 00:16:53,709 --> 00:16:56,209 ? You told me you too cute to spit but my fire is flame ? 455 00:16:56,219 --> 00:16:59,200 ? I'm on the grind for my dollars don't give me no change ? 456 00:16:59,211 --> 00:17:02,265 ? If you ain't giving I'm a take it, I'm breaking the bank ? 457 00:17:02,276 --> 00:17:04,576 ? It's comatose but my flow gonna shake 'em awake ? 458 00:17:04,585 --> 00:17:07,219 ? I be calculating these making me they line ? 459 00:17:07,229 --> 00:17:08,962 ? They be talking 'bout names and numbers ? 460 00:17:08,970 --> 00:17:10,403 ? I'm talking 'bout dollar signs ? 461 00:17:10,410 --> 00:17:13,311 ? Checking these fools minds usually like I'm lightskinned ? 462 00:17:13,322 --> 00:17:16,222 ? But now he want the chocolate girl again and again ? 463 00:17:16,232 --> 00:17:18,333 ? He told his homeboys about me they asking 'bout friends ? 464 00:17:18,341 --> 00:17:19,773 ? Man these bitches can't see me ? 465 00:17:19,779 --> 00:17:21,345 ? Might as well get 'em a lens ? 466 00:17:21,353 --> 00:17:22,819 ? They be taking offence ? 467 00:17:22,826 --> 00:17:23,992 ? They be making amends ? 468 00:17:23,997 --> 00:17:25,497 ? Since they can't be they wanna join ? 469 00:17:25,503 --> 00:17:27,035 ? 'Cause they know I'm a win ? 470 00:17:27,043 --> 00:17:30,378 ? But I don't give a damn about my Benjamins ? 471 00:17:30,491 --> 00:17:32,124 ? Whip that whip they got them dividends ? 472 00:17:32,130 --> 00:17:33,663 ? Well if you got it come holler ? 473 00:17:33,669 --> 00:17:35,335 ? 'Cause in the streets I'mma beast ? 474 00:17:35,344 --> 00:17:38,077 ? And if you got the right package in the bed I'm a freak ? 475 00:17:38,086 --> 00:17:39,519 ? My fire is flame ? 476 00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:42,393 [Squeaking] 477 00:17:42,403 --> 00:17:44,070 [Panting] 478 00:17:44,078 --> 00:17:47,579 Clean is the new dirty, bitch. 479 00:17:49,448 --> 00:17:52,455 ? Oh, oh, oh oh ? 480 00:17:52,629 --> 00:17:55,395 ? Oh, oh, oh oh ? 481 00:17:56,420 --> 00:17:57,593 Woman: Wow, I love these. 482 00:17:57,597 --> 00:17:58,350 Woman 2: Yeah, they look great. 483 00:17:58,355 --> 00:18:00,196 Woman: They fit so, I don't know. 484 00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:01,323 Like I feel really me. 485 00:18:01,329 --> 00:18:02,033 I love those. 486 00:18:02,037 --> 00:18:02,708 Thanks. 487 00:18:02,712 --> 00:18:05,942 - Where'd you get those? - Oh, I imported them from Egypt. 488 00:18:05,953 --> 00:18:08,453 They're-they're called the Cameltoe. 489 00:18:08,986 --> 00:18:10,380 - Cameltoe? - Yeah. 490 00:18:10,386 --> 00:18:11,670 - I love them. - I love them, oh my gosh. 491 00:18:11,676 --> 00:18:13,009 - Just, Cameltoe. - Yeah, Cameltoe. 492 00:18:13,015 --> 00:18:15,490 - Cameltoe. - Cameltoe, yeah. 493 00:18:15,500 --> 00:18:17,958 [Upbeat Music] 494 00:18:17,967 --> 00:18:28,008 ? 495 00:18:28,042 --> 00:18:38,083 ? 496 00:18:38,115 --> 00:18:48,122 ? 497 00:18:48,155 --> 00:18:59,064 ? 498 00:18:59,100 --> 00:18:59,926 Hi guys. 499 00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:02,302 Oh, hi Sandy, great to have you back. 500 00:19:02,312 --> 00:19:04,277 Hello, we've got the client here with us today. 501 00:19:04,284 --> 00:19:05,503 Marissa, Sandy. 502 00:19:05,510 --> 00:19:08,040 So we're just going to do the 30 second Tamplex commercial. 503 00:19:08,049 --> 00:19:10,526 The script should be right there for you for the commercial. 504 00:19:10,535 --> 00:19:12,877 - See it here. - Okay, fantastic. 505 00:19:16,335 --> 00:19:17,501 Okay. 506 00:19:17,662 --> 00:19:19,445 Anytime you're ready, Sandy. 507 00:19:20,149 --> 00:19:22,647 [Soothingly] Ladies, when it's that time of the month, 508 00:19:22,658 --> 00:19:23,828 you need comfort. 509 00:19:23,832 --> 00:19:25,730 Okay yeah hold up, Sandy, hold up. 510 00:19:25,738 --> 00:19:26,641 That's the old script. 511 00:19:26,646 --> 00:19:29,651 There's a new script there, new direction. 512 00:19:29,662 --> 00:19:32,388 - Got it. - Fantastic, thanks so much. 513 00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:34,179 Anytime you're ready. 514 00:19:36,482 --> 00:19:38,948 You work hard, you play hard... 515 00:19:38,958 --> 00:19:40,656 No, sorry, hold up again. 516 00:19:40,662 --> 00:19:43,291 Sorry, we uh we want a different feel for this commercial 517 00:19:43,365 --> 00:19:44,864 so can you um, 518 00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:47,291 can you give us your deep authoritative voice? 519 00:19:48,095 --> 00:19:50,131 Yeah, thank you. 520 00:19:52,212 --> 00:19:53,494 [Deeply] You work hard, 521 00:19:53,500 --> 00:19:54,762 you play hard, 522 00:19:54,772 --> 00:19:56,772 you bleed hard. 523 00:19:56,780 --> 00:19:57,486 Bleed hard? 524 00:19:57,490 --> 00:19:59,865 Yeah, you bleed hard, keep going, yep. 525 00:19:59,963 --> 00:20:03,391 [Deeply] You need a tampon that can withstand a bloodbath! 526 00:20:03,404 --> 00:20:05,389 [Splashing] 527 00:20:06,223 --> 00:20:11,770 Introducing the new Mach 7 X150 G85 tampon. 528 00:20:11,790 --> 00:20:14,349 The first and only tampon with a high strength 529 00:20:14,359 --> 00:20:17,252 titanium military grade absorbency. 530 00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:18,877 With one hundred patents, 531 00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:21,653 it's the most bloodthirsty tampon on the planet, 532 00:20:21,663 --> 00:20:22,862 ready to catch 533 00:20:22,867 --> 00:20:25,101 whatever your uterus unleashes. 534 00:20:25,111 --> 00:20:26,243 [Boom] 535 00:20:26,247 --> 00:20:28,681 Be the hard leader you were meant to be. 536 00:20:28,692 --> 00:20:31,011 This ain't your mama's gobstopper. 537 00:20:31,019 --> 00:20:34,370 You deserve the biggest, baddest tampon around. 538 00:20:34,437 --> 00:20:38,217 The Mach 7 X150 G85 tampon, 539 00:20:38,230 --> 00:20:40,428 because you're awesome! 540 00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:42,139 [Echoing] Period. 541 00:20:42,146 --> 00:20:46,422 Yeah, great one Sandy, love it, fantastic! 542 00:20:46,572 --> 00:20:48,462 This is going to be the "Saving Private Ryan" 543 00:20:48,470 --> 00:20:50,318 of tampon commercials. 544 00:20:51,816 --> 00:20:54,150 Woman: Come on, big boy. 545 00:20:54,326 --> 00:20:55,992 Why don't you come with me 546 00:20:56,000 --> 00:21:00,169 'cause I am going to ride you all night long. 547 00:21:01,993 --> 00:21:02,691 [Yelling] 548 00:21:02,692 --> 00:21:04,203 Woman: Go, go, go! 549 00:21:04,204 --> 00:21:05,759 Go, go, go! 550 00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:06,992 Woo, woo! 551 00:21:06,993 --> 00:21:08,259 I got some! 552 00:21:08,260 --> 00:21:11,279 [Screaming] 553 00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:16,280 Sync and corrections by explosiveskull www.addic7ed.com 554 00:21:16,330 --> 00:21:20,880 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 38639

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.