All language subtitles for abmom-din-eng

Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

I'm Amy Mitchell.

And this year ruined Christmas.

Christmas is, by far,
the most stressful time of the year ...

... for moms.

There is a million
of things to do.

And you have to do them perfectly,
or you will never forgive him.

And most importantly, neither do you
they would forgive your children.

I literally feel like the worst
mam of the world at this time.

Maybe I should start at the beginning.

I've always loved Christmas.

It's my favorite time of the year.

More than anything, I love spending time
with my family.

Because the only thing I want ...

... the only thing that any mom wants ...

... is that your children have
an incredible Christmas.

For that reason, Christmas implies
an enormous amount of work.

First, you have to buy gifts for
every human being we know.

This year I gave her an aromatic candle
the guy who makes me coffee.

Why did I do that?

Afterwards, you have to decorate the house.

For what, clearly, I'm a pity.

I'm doing my best,
Charmaine!

After, you have to go to all the
Christmas festivals of your children.

What are they ...

Yes.

They are also all disproportionate
Christmas parties.

My God.

Are they Santa's lobster hats?

Is that what's in fashion?

What the fuck?

You also have to cook,
clean, wrap ...

It's crazy.

There's never enough time.

- Hello, mam .
- Hello.

- What about the game?
- Great The Bulls won.

Good! Congratulations.

Hello, honey.

Your house looks incredible.

Thank you. I still have
many things to do, but ...

Can I do something to help you?

No, unless you know how to fix
magically the Christmas lights.

Sure, I can do it. Only there
to change the fuse. It is very easy

That is very sexy,
I will not lie.

Definitely today you will receive
the special treatment.

- I like the idea. Do not forget.
- Clear.

Your dad is amazing.

I thought you hated it.

What? No, honey.
Why do you say it?

Last week,
when you went to the house ...

... I heard them in the room,
and you kept shouting.

Good...
No, honey, they were happy screams.

They did not seem happy.

And then you hit the wall
and you shouted bad words.

Good...

I do not remember doing it.

- I do not know if it was something that happened.
- It happened.

You said:
"Oh, my damn God."

Right so.

"Oh, my damn God."

Yes, it's fine.

Listen, your dad and I were
playing a game of adults.

They played seven times.

Six thirty. But,
Who keeps the account?

Look, there's no need to
talk more about that.

- Okay?
- Agree.

- Come those five.
- Agree.

Oh no.

What's up?

My mom will come
for Christmas.

Oh, my goddamn God!

Thanks for helping
to decorate the tree, guys.

Bernard, let's hang them on the tree,
OK?

Who put the big coffee ornament
up ahead?

It seems pop .

You are right.
That's why Mommy is going to put it back.

No, honey,
do not drink the water of the tree.

We do not drink that water because
we are people, okay?

- Mommy, does Santa Claus exist?
- I bet you, I know.

I know ...

Are you lying, mom?

My God, make it stop.

On what else have you lied?

- Hello Love.
- Hi, daddy.

Hi guys.

- Everything okay?
- Yes.

- The tree looks very good.
- Thank you.

- Do I give the twins dinner?
- Yes, please.

Come my friend.
We're going for your food.

- Quiet.
- Quiet. Quiet.

Happy Christmas, Kiki!

Mam ?

Good God!

I thought you would arrive
until Friday.

Well, I took a flight
earlier

Three days before?

I have not prepared the room
of visits or anything ...

Does not matter. Can I sleep with you
and we make spoons.

- I usually sleep with my husband.
- Do you want to see the sweatshirt I made?

I love this picture.

Look, they were just growing up
the breasts

Well, one at least.

You just arrived, there's no need to talk
of my breasts.

And the other came out suddenly.

Thank God!

Oh, Keeks!

If you play your cards well, you could have
An equal sweatshirt for Christmas.

Do not...

Oh, Kiki Dee.

I can not wait...

... to spend every minute
of the next three weeks with you.

Are you smelling my hair?

Yes.

My God, if I have to pluck
One more time, I'm going to faint.

Since all the women
of the country ...

... they need a vagina without hair
In Christmas?

Is anyone going to shave?

My God, they are like fifty
vaginas more.

Well, what's next?

No, you're not, Bigfoot.
I can not with you now.

We'll see...

You.

Betty White

I feel intrigued.
Come with me.

What's up, sir?

Mam ?

Wait.
What the fuck ...?

Good God!

Good God! Good God!
Good God!

You did not tell me you were going to come
for Christmas.

Is it Christmas?

Yes.
Is not that why you're here?

Clear! That's why I'm here.
Merry Christmas, ma'am.

M rate!
Damn, you do not age at all.

Look how sexy you look!
And those breasts!

Thank you.
You look a little older.

But well.
You look good.

How much has happened,
three years?

Three?

Really?
Oh my God. I do not know, honey.

I do not even know
what year are we?

Why do you bring a
black pajamas?

Do not,
I work in a spa.

- Do you have a damn job?
- Yes. Yes.

I'm trying to be more responsible
and that shit.

You've always been
very strange.

Why are you here?
actually mom?

What do you mean?

Well, you're just coming
When you need money.

No no no.
I no longer bet.

No, I'm just here
to see my daughter at Easter.

- It's Christmas.
- Christmas.

I think we should
celebrate.

I already know. "Thunder Down Under",
It is near the airport.

I think we should go.

Strippers?

Yes.

With my mom?

At Christmas?

How could I refuse?

We are going to shake
some whistles, bitch!

Good!
That's my girl!

My God, Jaxon is going to shit
when I see you.

- Do you still have that boy?
- Yes.

How many years do you have?

Between fifteen and seventeen.

- How nice. How nice.
- Yes.

As your parents never
They had come at Christmas?

No no.

Wait wait.
Do you think he prepared enough food?

Is he serious?

- I'm going to make quiche.
- Cari o, everything will be fine.

No, honey,
It will not be good.

My mom is the human being who
more critical on the planet.

When I was six years old, I made him
a birthday card ...

... and I returned it
with observations.

- Okay, that's terrible.
- The point is that ...

... it's perfect in everything,
and it is impossible to please.

If it is impossible to please,
Why do you try hard to do it?

Listen out,
I'm going to tell you the truth.

Daughters strive
trying to be like moms ...

... and the moms go through
annoying his daughters.

That's how the world works, okay?
I can not do anything about it.

I'm not Beyonc .

For you, you are.

- I love you.
- I love you.

You think you like it
your mom?

Do not.

I'm sorry to be late.
Hank drives as a girl.

Happy Christmas,
grandparents!

- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.

- Have, they're X-boxes.
- Is it serious?

- Thank you very much!
- Mam does not let us have one.

Thank you!

Hi, Mrs. Redmond, I'm Jessie.
Pleasure.

Upload the luggage,
please.

All right...
Hello, mam .

Amy

You look pale

I'm using something
new for the skin.

Well, it's just ordinary makeup.
You are not dying And your tree?

I have not had time
to buy it.

Amy, it's December 19th.
Even the Jews already have a tree.

Does not matter,
tomorrow we will go for one.

Yes ... Do you have food?
I have not eaten in three days.

Yes, of course.
I have all your favorites.

How adorable.

You let your
children will cook.

All right...

I did not know that pharmacies sold
Christmas ornaments.

I have planned
all week.

On Thursday we will see
"The Nutcracker".

On Friday we will all go to
sing carols.

Unfortunately, Mike was our boritono,
but you divorced.

We will have
to find someone ...

... if we are going to win the
Christmas Carols this year.

Oh my God,
The Christmas Carols?

Cari o, when I lived here,
We won that Cup nine times.

Pity that you have abandoned
the family tradition of winning.

- I guess I've been busy.
- Well, clearly not in the gym.

I want to celebrate
My triumphant return to Chicago.

I want to make a
Huge Christmas party in your house.

I was thinking about Christmas Eve,
if you think it is fine.

What? Do not.
It does not seem good to me.

We can invite my old friends
and have a sushi station ...

... and we can hire Kenny G
to play Christmas music.

They say that
It is not so expensive anymore.

Well, that sounds
a lot of work.

Clear.
Pity that already invited all.

- Where do you go to my house?
- Yes, there will be 184 people.

What?

Why I have not received
a Christmas card of yours?

I do not know, mam . I suppose that
It was not in my priorities.

What's wrong with you?

- Nothing. Nothing happens to me.
- Amy, it's Christmas.

It is the most important time.

- I know.
- You can not waste your time.

- I'm not wasting my time.
- I feel like you're wasting your time.

- I'm not wasting my time.
- Of course you're wasting your time.

I realize
when you waste your time

- I'm not wasting my time.
- You lose it and you lose it.

It's fine. It's fine.

I'm not
wasting time.

- Well, enough of nonsense.
- Agree.

I like your hair.

- Really?
- Yes, it seems you do not even try.

I love you

I can not pass
Christmas with my mom.

It's like living
with Saddam Hussein.

My mom is with me because
I think he wants to steal my television.

And I have to go buy the tree
with her in the night.

It's like going to a death march
seven hours throughout the city.

My daughter wants a girl
"Happy Princess" ...

... and I've already searched everywhere,
and I do not know where he is.

Where are you, girls?
Where is the "Happy Princess"?

Oh my God...

I know it's just a girl, but,
Christmas is killing me this year.

Damn it!

I can not do
This sober shit.

Me neither.

They want to get drunk
in the food area?

- Of course I am!
- Yes.

- Go Go.
- What fun.

Do you know what drives me crazy?

- Genital warts.
- What?

- Genital warts.
- Do not.

Carla, no.

No, it drives me crazy
how do we press ...

... to have a
Perfect Christmas

- It's supposed to be fun.
- S !

Why am I responsible for buying
all the gifts of my family?

- For being a woman?
- Exactly.

- We are in 2017.
- That's what I thought.

Why does not my husband buy him
the gift to your mom?

I do not even like it.

I blame my children
of your farts.

You know what I do
with my son's fool?

In November,
I enter your room ...

... I look for a lot of nonsense,
I wrap them and give them to them at Christmas.

- You do not even realize it.
- Is it serious?

My God, I gave him the same glove
of baseball like nine times.

And how bad are the gifts
What does your family give you?

I spend months choosing the perfect gift
for each one...

... and the only thing they give me are coupons
for a free back massage.

That is very wrong.

They know what my son gave me
last year?

A box of
Ziploc bags.

I think I'm going to wrap them
to give them this Christmas.

I feel like a huge ball of
stress from November to New Year.

I would like to enjoy again
Christmas.

Yes.

So then
let's do it

What?

What happens to us? We have not learned
nothing? This is stupidity.

I'm disappointed
of this trip.

We are mothers

And if things do not come out like
we want, what do we do?

We hide
in the bathroom.

- Do not.
- No, we do not do that.

- No. We get up and fight.
- That's it. We fight

If we want Christmas
be our way this year ...

... then let's do it
our way.

No more perfect gifts, no more
perfect decorations.

No more
nothing perfect.

Fuck.

We are going to recover
Christmas.

We are going to show you our
back to Christmas.

What?

It did not go as planned,
but they understood me.

- Yes, we understand you.
- Clear.

To recover
Christmas!

S !

Happy Christmas!

Samples, samples!

What?

- Better.
- Better.

What? What?

All right. Who is next?

Hears.

Know which is better
for the vagina?

Attention, customers!

I'm drunk and hot.
I repeat I'm drunk and hot.

Let's see Let's see

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Shit. Wait. Wait.

I have to go buy the tree
with my mom.

It just occurred to me
a silly idea

Here they have guys.

- Popcorn.
- More.

Listos? Look at that.

All right.

I like this, mam .

Yes. We should pass all
Christmas as well.

Yes, we can spend time together
and save us all the hassle?

Do you know what?
I would like it very much.

Jessie, you should spend Christmas
with us.

I do not know It is an important date.
I would not like to bother.

Do not be strange, daddy.
Here we will be.

Does it seem good to you?

Yes, of course.
I would love it.

- To me too.
- Perfect.

Goodnight everyone...

What in the name of God
is that?

Our Christmas tree. I got it
in the ladies tennis shop.

- Do you like it?
- I do not like it, Amy.

I find it repulsive.

What does this thing do
in your house?

I did not want to waste my time
buying a tree

I wanted to enjoy Christmas.

Amy, you're a mom.

The moms do not enjoy, they give joy.
That is being a mom.

And this horrendous tree
It does not give anybody joy.

I do not know, I like it.

- Thank you.
- Yes.

Who are you and
why are you talking?

Mam , you're nice, please.
It's Jessie. You already met him

I am tired of
this conversation.

But if you believe for a moment
I'm going to let your laziness ...

... ruin Christmas for the whole family,
you are in a serious error.

Good evening, children.
Have, iTunes card.

Mam , seriously.
Stop giving them gifts.

Cari o, did you see the ornaments?
They are like little shoes.

Hank, I swear I'm going to take you to a
Fire station and I'll leave you there.

- Hello.
- Hello.

- What's your night?
- Very good.

- S ?
- Yes.

You know grape soda.

I already know. I took one
before going to bed.

- Health.
- Health.

Mam !

Hi guys.

What are you doing here?

I came to see how you fell asleep,
as usual...

... and they started acting
like monkeys in the zoo.

You see me how I sleep
every night?

Except after Blue Bloods
I know it's your special night of sex.

Cari o, I'm glad you have
a sex life so vibrant.

It is very important that t and Kent
fuck with everything.

And kent ...

... I'm glad you can have
an erection again.

Live!

And Kiki ...

... it has much bigger
that your daddy.

Enough, mam . Go before my
husband does not have sex with me again

Yes.

Cari o, your dad liked that
I tickled the balls.

He stops talking.

- I come to see you later.
- No Please.

Go

- You have to talk to your mom.
- I know.

Need limits.

Or at least a limit.

Yes, but ...

I do not want to hurt
feelings.

And since my dad died,
I am your only family.

I worry that if I take it away even if
a little, it would break your heart.

He saw my erection, Kiki.

Yes ...

3 DAYS FOR
CHRISTMAS

My God.
What ...?

What the fuck ...?

Move the chickens eight centimeters
on the left.

Yes, yes.

Mam ?

What are you doing?

Decorating your house properly,
because it seems you do not want to do it.

Why my house has to be
properly decorated?

A special Christmas is how you
You show your family that you love them.

You do not want your children to think
They are not worth it and you do not want them.

Of course not.

It's the time when moms kill each other
for creating a magical world for their children.

It's not a time for moms to
stay in pajamas to eat chocolate.

- I do not even like chocolate.
- Then stop being a terrible mother.

Guys, what do you think?
the Christmas procession?

- It's incredible.
- Let her know how it works!

He's going to love you, Amy.

We are ready for the process.
Change.

Do not worry, then I'll show you how it works.
It is in an application.

You installed speakers.

Wait. Wait.

How much does this cost?

The happiness of the children
It's priceless, Amy.

It was very expensive.

By God! Mam .

Wait,
missing the grand finale!

Are they partridges real?

Of course. They do not have skills
of survival.

In an hour they will be dead.

All right.

Take, guys.
Sweets for breakfast.

Excuse me, qu ?

- Thanks grandma. I love you
- And I, you guys.

Put more birds. I hate that they are
grays Make them all white.

Can make them look happier
when do they fly? It's Christmas!

Did your mom decorate your house?

No no no.
This is not good

What matters? Let her decorate.
Can you decorate afterwards?

It's not so much around the house.

I'm 34 years old and my mom
keep telling me how to live my life.

Well, you have to
fight with her

Is that ...?

Physically?

Right, Amy.

I can teach you movements
karate physicists ...

... but I'll keep on treating you like that
until you beat him.

I do not want you to know
to my mom.

- She's a 62-year-old woman ...
- It's fine.

But at least you have to have
a serious conversation with her.

- It seems more legal to me.
- I know.

And where is your dad?
In all this?

My dad is a charm,
but it is totally under your control.

There is no way
that he is on my side.

Cari o, what a difficult thing.

The moms
They are very strange.

What Christmas
with your mom?

You know...

Well, I suppose.
Yes, I think.

My mom cut herself and pulled her hair
exactly like mine.

But that's normal, is not it?

Your moms
Do they have the same hair style?

Every time I think that I am
the most disturbed of this group ...

... Kiki, you open your mouth ...

... and then I think,
"I'm not very good".

My mom and I are going to take
to the guys to Sky Zone .

Do you want to go?

I have legally prohibited
approaching Sky Zone , but ...

... fuck. I'm in.

- Amy?
- I can not.

I would love it, but my mom
is going to take us to see "The Nutcracker."

I love "The Nutcracker."

No, but not the version with the
Fairy of Az car.

The original, the version spoken in Russian
that lasts five hours ...

... in which almost all die.
It is awful.

- Why do not you just go?
- No my God.

He would never forgive me.
So it's much easier.

Girls, we were not going to recover
Christmas this year?

Yes.

I'm asking it seriously, because
I got so drunk in the middle ...

... commercial that I do not remember
if we talk about it or it was something that is.

Shit, I'm late
for work.

They want to see what
I have been doing?

Happy Holidays.

Oh my God...

Carla!

It broke my whistle!

- Take it, take it.
- I'm leaving. I'm leaving.

- Hello, dear.
- Mam !

- What are you doing here?
- What does it look like?

I'm waiting for my daughter
I fix the nails for free.

- Free Manicure?
- Yes.

Well, at least
I'm not going to wax your pussy.

Maybe next time.

It's fine.

Cuéntame, sales with someone?

Well, there were a couple of things
with school pap s.

But it is complicated.

In addition, Christmas is the best
time of year to be single.

I'm going to the mall
and I see those couples ...

... holding hands ...

... with scarves
and feeding yourself ...

... and watching jewelry.

"Every kiss requires a jewel."

- Stop.
- What?

- You're alone alone.
- No!

Listen, rocanrolera life
It is not for everyone.

I'm a super rocanrolera.
Today I woke up in a park.

Carla.

I found fat-free snacks
in your kitchen

They are for my son.

It is most healthy.

They say it's very good
for the heart.

- You really care about your son, do not you?
- Yes.

Most people
They care about their children, mam .

Whatever. I do not understand fashions
of the pap s now.

And how have you been?

I've been better,
in fact.

There is something that has me excited,
but I need money for it ...

Ah, come on

- What?
- You always do the same.

What?

You appear in my life,
you ask me for money ...

... I give it to you, you bet ...

... you leave me and then you come back
to ask me more ...

... I give you again
because I'm an idiot ...

It is a real opportunity
of business.

How much do you need?

Not much.
About five thousand.

For real. Between five and ten thousand.
Fifteen, maximum.

I'll think about it.

Good!

Heavens, you have
very good things here.

What an elegant place.

I wish I had brought my bag.

Why do we have to go see
"The Nutcracker" in Russian?

We are not even Russians.

The Russian version
It is the authentic one.

Not Disney's
with so many dances and happiness.

Does it really last five hours?

Yes, and you will enjoy
each minute.

Listen to this beautiful music.

This piece is called,
"When they kill Boris."

It seems that
Someone is screaming at us.

Why can not we
Do something fun?

Where are you going?
The theater is on the right.

I already know.
We do not go to the theater.

- Where are you taking us?
- You'll see.

Merry Christmas.
Welcome to Sky Zone .

- Three children tickets?
- Yes.

No no.
In fact, let's all go in.

Of course not.
This place stinks of cloth.

Amy! They came!

- I'm glad you're here.
- To me too.

My mom is going to kill me
while I sleep, but it's worth it.

- Hi, I'm Carla's mom.
- Hi, Isis.

- Yes, yes.
- Pleasure.

Hi. You must be Amy's mom.
I'm carla.

Jaxon, honey.
Mam needs more alcohol.

- Good idea. Also for me.
- It's my son, Jaxon.

And my mom, Isis.

Hi. Ruth
Like Judge Ruth Bader Ginsberg.

Isis
As the terrorist group.

She is my mom, Sandy.

- Amy!
- Hello.

I've heard a lot about you.

Heavens, they really have
the same haircut.

Hi, I'm Ruth.
Amy's mom.

I'm Jessie. Literally, I was
in the car with you.

Come on, who wants
Christmas fun?

Hello Ruth.
We brought you a churro.

- Do you want?
- No thanks.

What a fun place.

I never went to something like that
when I was a child

By God, no.

When I was a child, we went to the quarry
and we made things explode.

How nice.

Where are they from? I am from Ottawa,
who is in Canada.

My husband Dirk wanted a city life,
and we moved to Bismark, North Dakota.

Then I had Kiki
when I was barely eighteen years old.

And then Dirk died ...

He had a slow and painful death.

Although some day
We are all going to die, alone and fearful.

- Where are you from, Ruth?
- Chicago.

- The city of the lights.
- The city of winds.

Well, Bismarck is told
"The city of the old whites".

You are very strange.

Ruth, did you enjoy growing up in Chicago?

No. My mom
She is a terrible woman.

One time I hit
for wearing open shoes on a sailboat.

Well, they were different times.

It was two months ago.

My daughter thinks that
I'm very hard with her ...

... but has no idea
of what I lived with my mother.

At fifteen years
He pierced my ears, and told me bitch.

He sent me to a boarding school
abroad.

- In Croatia.
- Croatia?

That is to be hard.

Where are you from, Isis?

I do not know, everywhere.
I never knew my parents.

Basically I grew up alone
with my wit and my tits.

Oh, how unpleasant.

No, I loaded the instruments
of REO Speedwagon for fifteen years.

Isis, you can not
smoke cigarettes here.

- Well, it's not a cigarette. Do you want?
- No!

- You want?
- No thanks.

Whatever.

Where are they going?
on Christmas' Eve?

We always go to Mass to Our Lady
of Perpetual Suffering.

It is the best mass in the city.

- What good. See you there.
- What?

I like to make new friends.

Do you want to play "the burned"?

No, honey.
Grandmothers do not play that.

What the fuck did he say?

- He said grandmothers do not play that.
- I understood, but I do play. Yes, we play.

Come on.

Tonight
It was a complete farce.

Do you find it funny, Hank?

Tambi n would be funny to change
your pills for the heart?

God, I love ...

I can not believe Amy trying
ruin Christmas this year.

I'll have to
redouble efforts.

Or stop fighting with her and we could
have a cute Christmas.

- Do you think I enjoy fighting with my daughter?
- S !

It is not like that.

I just try to give my grandchildren the
Wonderful Christmas they deserve.

It's your first Christmas without your dad,
and if it's perfect ...

... you will know that everything
it's going to be OK.

If our daughter organizes a Christmas
mediocre, it will disconcert the boys ...

... and they could fall into a spiral
of fear, depression and drugs.

It's fine.

But the boys
They looked very happy.

They would have been happier in
"The Nutcracker" Russian, Hank.

My Christmas style is lovely
and magic ...

... and Amy's Christmas style
It is lazy and shameful.

My style is better and it is the one that will win,
because I always win.

I'm glad that everything
It's because of the guys.

Hank, I'm Amy's mom.

It is my duty to motivate her to be
The best possible mom.

Cr eme, some day you will thank me with
an emotional speech in a public place.

- Have you finished ironing my pajamas?
- Yes, Ruth.

Keep warm

I'm sorry you're upset.

Thank you.

Quiet.

You're crumpling my pajamas.

- I'm going to prepare your toothbrush.
- Thank you.

2 DAYS FOR
CHRISTMAS

My God. No more coos.
Please God, no more coos.

- S ?
- Hello.

Are you Carla?

Yes, it's me.

- And who are you?
- Ty Swindel.

I want to pluck the balls.

What good news.
Go up to the table, Ty Swindel.

Sure thanks.

All right.

You already shaved your balls,
Ty?

Yes, I'm an exotic dancer.
I need everything to be soft always.

Yes, I understand.

I'm going to take off your towel
to apply the wax ...

Come to me my goddamn God!

Look at the size of that thing.
It looks like parking cone.

Excuse me, I forgot to tell you.
I know it scares some.

I'm not frightened.
I'm going to need more ...

- Much more wax.
- All right.

- Let me have a second.
- Clear.

Go All right.

Who shaves your balls?

Someone in Cleveland,
I am from there.

Can not be.

- What?
- I'm from Edgewater.

- Are you from Edgewater?
- Yes.

- I'm from Tremont.
- My God. The world is small.

- It's incredible.
- What did I miss?

True?

Heavens.

- Lift your penis a little ...
- Clear.

Perfect.

What brings you to Chicago,
Ty?

I came to a contest
of Santa Sexy.

What good.

Maybe it hurts a little.

How are you doing
to dance?

Actually, I'm a fireman.
That's what I do.

I think so.

A few years ago we attended
a fire in a strip club ...

... and the owner approached me.

He asked me his tape
a huge penis.

I told him that I know.

The rest is history.

- What a beautiful story, Ty.
- Thank you.

All right,
it's going to burn

- The holidays, huh?
- I know.

Do you have plans with your girlfriend?

I wish
I wish I had a girlfriend.

Women see me as
a sexual object and they go.

Do you know?

I dance with basketball
and a thong.

Does not mean that no
have feelings

Clear.

I understand you.

I do not know what you have.

It's easy to talk to you. I can open.
Being my self. I like it.

I feel the same,
Ty.

I'm going to need you to upload
the legs...

... to reach the scrotum and the ass.

- Clear.
- Perfect, thanks.

- Let's remove this.
- Ah, come on. Very good. Very good.

Carla, at the risk of being
unwise...

... you would join me in the contest
of Sexy Santa tonight?

I'm not dating clients, Ty.
I have a very strict code.

Clear. Are you kidding?
I understand And you should ...

I'm kidding, Ty.
I do not have any code.

I'm shaving your ass.

I would love to go to
your contest

- Really?
- S !

My God.
It is fun and beautiful.

It is not a combination
easy to find.

Nor is this combination seen
frequently.

Then it's a date.
See you at night.

It's a date.

You want me to help you ...

... and spread my buttocks for you?

Thank you.

Nobody had offered to separate
his buttocks for me.

I can do it for you
When you want, Carla.

Where did you come from,
Ty Swindle?

FAMILY THERAPY
ELIZABETH KARL

What brings them here,
Kiki?

Well, my mom and I are
very united.

And we would like ...

- Be more united.
- No no.

I think we'd like to be a little
more independent.

United.

Sandy, tell me about your relationship
with your daughter.

My God,
It's my favorite subject

I had Kiki at
eighteen years ...

... and when the nurse put it
in my chest ...

... I looked at her and said:

"You will be my best friend
forever".

Is that normal?
"My best friend forever".

We do not like to use
the word "normal".

Kiki and I have always been
super united ...

... because basically
we have the same age.

After my husband died
we join much more.

We went together to
school dance.

Go

All right.

Kiki, what do you feel about that?
to this union?

- Good...
- It feels great.

Who would not want to be
Your mom's best friend?

- I love my mom a lot.
- Thanks, honey.

- For real.
- Thank you.

But sometimes I think
that exaggerates a bit.

What?

When?

When you saw Kent and me
having sex.

V lgame.

I want to know what happens with your life.
Does that have something wrong?

No. But sometimes I need
a little space

I do not understand what
It's happening.

- Why are you attacking me?
- I'm not attacking you.

I'm just saying it would not be bad
have certain limits.

I have cancer.

C ncer?

Oh my God.
What kind of cancer?

From the heart.

Cancer

- Heart cancer.
- That's it.

Phase twelve.

Maybe your heart without cancer can be
kind to me before I die.

I'm so sorry, mam .
I had no idea

I already know.

I already know.

My God.

Mam .

Oh, Keeks.

Kiki, no, no. Keeks

It's fine.
I do not have cancer

What?

I knew it.

But imagine that I know. What would you feel?
being so cruel to your mom?

I do not want to be cruel.

I want a sincere conversation
about our relationship.

- I have cancer again.
- No, it does not work the second time.

- I have polio.
- I think he has a cure.

I have bubonic plague.
I have herpes.

- Mam ...
- I have bird flu.

- You finished?
- I have amblyopia.

Mam !

Please! We can talk about
our relationship?

I want to solve it with you.

Yes.

Agree. Yes.

- Really?
- Yes.

- I want to solve it with you.
- Is it serious?

I'm going fast to
I bathe and return.

It's fine.

It will not come back,
Right?

Do not.

What's wrong with him?

Do you really want to know?

Yes.

Probably your mom was pretty
normal before you have

But then you were born.

You did not sleep six months
and she did not sleep for six months.

You did not want to eat and when you ate,
you vomited on your clothes.

That drove me crazy
little to your mam .

You fell off the bicycle
and you broke your arm.

They bothered you
at school.

And you started dating that guy
I missed with that thing in my nose.

And all that, madness
a little more to your mom.

You got married and you bought a house
that you can not pay ...

... and you have children who never say
"please" or "thank you".

Curse,
they can not even read.

All that went crazy
your mom a lot more.

And now you come to my office
and questions:

"Doctor Karl, why my mom?
Are you so crazy? "

And the answer is:

For you, motherfucker.
You drove your mom crazy.

That's how I'm kind to her,
because you were the one who bothered her.

We are going to dominate the contest
of carols.

What are you wearing?

Cari o, if you want to win the Cup,
You need a theme

That's why we're going to go characters
of "Christmas Tales".

- My God.
- Dylan, you'll be the ghost.

Jane, you're the ghost
of Christmas present.

- Great
- Amy, you'll be Scrooge.

Thanks, mam .

I think it's appropriate, given that
this year you hate Christmas so much.

Mam ,
I do not hate Christmas.

Here they have the music. I hope that
all learn the songs.

They are many songs.

All the houses in Westbury
They vote for the winner.

So we have to go
at least 300 houses.

Three hundred!

Do not worry We have reinforcements.
Go ahead, everyone.

Please,
receive the choir of Chicago.

Have you hired professionals?

I did what it took to succeed.
Amy

You should try it sometime.

It's fine.

Let's sing.

But I do not plan to use
that ridiculous disguise.

It takes me the fuck.

Boys, more carols.

Read your part,
Scrooge

Do it!

I'm Ebenezer Scrooge
and I hate Christmas ...

... because it implies
a lot of work and I'm lazy.

Please, Mr. Scrooge.
Listen to our song.

Allow your heart to soften.
Two three four...

We wish you merry Christmas.

We wish you merry Christmas.

We wish you merry Christmas.

And a happy New Year.

Good news for you
and his children.

S !
Good news at Christmas.

- What the fuck is going on?
- And a happy New Year.

All!

I am Ebenezer Scrooge and I hate
Christmas because it implies ...

Amy?

Shit.

What the fuck are you using?

My mom forced me.

My dear, you look fantastic.
Really.

In fact, it is better than
you used in school.

- Girls, come a moment.
- No, it's fine. Stay there.

It's Amy Mitchell. She is dressed
like a fat old man.

Actually I'm supposed to be
Scrooge, but ...

They do not laugh. She's my friend.
Do not be rude

Dear, this goes straight to Instagram.
Wait, in profile.

All right.

You can pucker a
little lips?

I am going to kill me,
that's how ...

I'm going to put a filter so that
do not look so tired

Thanks for the visit,
Amy

- Adi s.
- I will not let you forget this.

- You know.
- Clear.

Did he have a penis on his face?

CALL OF VILLANCICOS DE WESTBURY

I think it was a great success.

Mam ,
This is not working.

What do you mean?

To this. I wanted a quiet Christmas
and you do not stop meddling.

Amy, it's a very important Christmas
for your children. You can not ruin it.

Mam , I'm not ruining it.

My children told me that they wanted
a quiet Christmas ...

... and promised them that it would be so.

They told you that because they believe
what do you want to hear?

But in reality they know that I'm right,
because I always have it.

Do you know what?
I'm tired of fighting.

I'm going to tell you exactly
what will we do at Christmas this year?

My children and I are going
to spend the day in sleigh.

We're going to come home to bake cookies,
and to see "Really Love".

A silly movie

In the morning, they will come
only Jessie and her daughter ...

... and we are going to exchange
three gifts

Who is Jessie?

We're going to spend the day in pajamas
Come and have dinner with my friends ...

... and we're going to order Chinese food.

What horror!

There will not be a ridiculous party,
No sushi, no camels ...

... and definitely, definitely ...

... will not come Kenny G.

Amy,
He is the king of smooth jazz.

Mam , I'm sick of your
Christmas exaggerated.

It's my house and it's my life.

If you want to be here
and be part of my family ...

... it will have to be with my rules.

It's fine.

- Really?
- We'll do it your way.

We will have a
Quiet Christmas.

I hope you are happy.

I doubt you're sincere,
but thanks. I am happy.

And it worked.
He faced her and let his guard down.

- I'm proud of you.
- Thank you.

For the first time I felt that my mom
that I saw as an equal ...

... as if some day, somehow,
we can be more united.

Easy, Obama.
Your mom is still a bitch.

Do not let your guard down
or is going to make you pieces.

- It's fine.
- I'm just saying.

But it was a big step.
I want to thank you for motivating me.

- I'm proud of you.
- Thank you.

- Do you know what we should celebrate?
- How?

Seeing a group of Santa Clauses
taking off his clothes.

S !
I love Santa Claus.

And there are many.

Girls, I do not want
get excited, but ...

... I'm on a first date
with one of the Santas.

- Can not be.
- Yes.

With what?

With Santa number two.

How did you meet?

Depilizando the balls.

What romantic.

You learn a lot by shaving
To a man.

Some cry.
Others act very rude.

But Ty,
He was very calm.

It was almost like shaving the balls
to the Dalai Lama.

How is everything going, Chicago?

Very good.

Listen,
I need you to tell me ...

... which of these Santas
It is the most sensual of all.

Who will it be?

S !
Let's start.

Santa number one,
the bar is yours, sir.

That's a lot of white skin.

Very good. Santa number one.
The public has spoken. Thank you.

Good competitor
Well done.

Very good. Now...

Let him go on stage.
Santa number two.

Wow, it's very good
undressing.

- You have such noble eyes.
- Yes.

I'm going to fuck him tonight.

Make me a son,
Holy number two!

I love your underwear.
It's seasonal.

My God.

- I think I'm in love.
- What?

Really. I believe that...

...He is the right one.

Is it your mom?

Wait, get me ...
Why? Mam !

What are you ...?

- Look at that.
- That's how my mom dances with everyone.

It does not bother me at all.

My God.
He has his face on her breasts.

Mam , wait! Do not do that.
We have already spoken.

- All right. It's time to play.
- It's getting really weird.

It's my mom.

- Is it your mom?
- Is it my mom?

- Are you her mom?
- Yes.

Pleasure.
You have a lovely daughter.

You should never see your mom
lick your nipples to your boyfriend.

Do not.

Mam ,
What are you doing?

Mam !

Nobody caught me.
It is incredible.

When someone launches
to the crowd, usually ...

Hi.

- Hello.
- Here you go.

A bag of ice.

Thanks, Ty.

As for tonight ... we were
to leave after the show ...

It is what I was wanting.
Is the plan still on?

- Good...
- Oh, Ty.

Yes.

- I would love it.
- All right.

But it is the third contusion
from my mom in this month.

They are many bruises.

It would be better if you have it
in observation.

Clear.

Good...

- I have to go back to Cleveland tomorrow.
- Go.

But, can I call you the
next time he comes?

Would you be interested?
Can I call you?

- Please.
- S ?

- Yes.
- Great

I'll depil the balls for free.

Oh, sweet.

I would love it, Carla.

And also to my balls.

Well, take it for granted.

Excuse me, I thought ...

Merry Christmas, Carla.

Merry Christmas, Ty.

Bedtime,
my loves.

I'm going to sing to you
" My heart will go on " ...

... of the seven times winner
of the Grammy, Celine Dion.

What's up?

Everything is fine
between t and mam ?

Yes, they have been
fighting a lot.

Come, sit down
with me. Both.

Your mom and I have
slight disagreements ...

... about the importance of Christmas,
and what it means to be a mother ...

... the sanctity of marriage,
and the best way to raise children.

But other than that,
everything is fine

There is no reason to worry, s ?

I know it's the first Christmas since
that their daddy divorced ...

... and it probably is
a little strange. True?

- Yes.
- A lot.

Well, first of all ...

... their daddy loves them very much.

And, whatever happens ...

... I will always be there for you.

Always.

Because they are my grandchildren.

And I love them more than
to nothing in the world.

Also to his grandfather Hank.

I know he has the brain of a nut,
but his heart is huge.

Okay?
Do they feel better?

Yes.
We like you here, grandma.

We missed you.

And I to you.

The grandchildren are the best
gift that exists.

Speaking of gifts ...

... some iPhones.

- What good.
- Can not be.

Now, to lie down.

I will come to sing to you
whole hours

GOOD NIGHT

I can not believe that people
fall with this. It is stupid.

- CANNED FOOD
- Ah, someone is coming.

Happy Christmas!

Just a moment.

You would like to donate canned products
for our Christmas campaign?

I just bought all this ...

Loter a! You have cans.

Look, mam .
It has wine.

Thank you very much for your
donation

Yes, the children are going to
be very happy

S !

Very good button, mam .

Yes, it brings good things.

Steal rich people with you
at the supermarket...

... it has brought back memories
Happy Christmas

Yes, to me too.

I missed you,
Do you know?

Me too.

It is very strange.

Maybe we should go
more time together.

Are you serious?

Yes. When we were in the place of
bounces with ... what is it called?

- With my son, Jaxon?
- Yes, with l.

I saw them banging with
those clubs and thought:

"Maybe I should have a
relationship with my grandson. "

We would love to see you more.

Yes. Clear.

I've been thinking about
the money you asked for and ...

I am an idiot.

But it's Christmas,
and you're my mom.

Fuck. Taking. It is a loan.
Is borrowed. It is not everything you asked for.

- But it's all I have.
- Perfect. Thank you very much.

It is a loan. I'm going to pay you, I swear.
I am more responsible

Yes, Merry Christmas!

Happy Christmas!

He would like to donate his cans
for our campaign?

We are raising
for the homeless people.

- I just bought this ...
- And canned products.

- It is important.
- What the fuck is this?

It's fennel.

- To the devil.
- What good.

Thank you very much.

Shit. Ah, the manager comes.
Red code. Red code.

Let's go, mam !
Where do we park?

- Happy Hanukkah.
- Where do we park?

- Come on, come on, come on.
- They stole all my things.

We take this.
He's cute, is not he?

Boys, since it's Christmas Eve ...

... we're all going to open a gift,
OK?

Kiki, Kiki.
Open the mine

Please,
open the first one.

I guess I start.

What is this?

It's the key ...

... of my new house.

What are you talking about?

Well, after the therapy, I felt
that we were distancing ourselves ...

... and decided to move closer
with you.

Agree.
Where are you going to move?

LaTo the house next door!

- Oh my God.
- What?

- Are you going to move with me?
- Yes. The house was not for sale.

But I looked for an estimate,
I made an offer in cash and ...

...Hello neighbour.

- Hello, neighbor.
- My God.

We can dig a tunnel
between our houses. Keeks!

Kent, get the kids.

Yes, yes. Come, guys. Mam
and grandma have to talk.

This is going to get ugly.

- Mam .
- What?

- You can not live next to me.
- Why not?

Because I need space,
and that is too close.

- I have diabetes.
- Mam , enough.

- Sit down.
- Kiki.

- Sit down.
- Kiki.

- I have pharyngitis.
- Mam .

- I have gallstones.
- No. Enough.

We need to talk.

I am an adult woman who needs
a life separate from yours ...

... and I need you to have a life
separate from mine. I am sorry.

I do not want a life separate from yours.
You are my favorite person in the world.

- You're affecting my marriage.
- What?

And to my family.
And my sanity.

I need you to give me a little
of independence.

And what is supposed to be
I will do with me?

I do not know, mom! Whatever!
Make friends!

You've always wanted to go to Las Vegas
to see Wayne Newton before you die.

Do it! Whatever!
As long as it's without me.

Without you?

Why are you doing this to me, Kiki?

No ... Mam .

And I do not think I can
return the house!

- Did they have fun on the sled?
- Yes, it was very funny.

I still have a lot of snow in the
pants. For real.

I already want to get home, get
the pajamas and be comfortable.

I already know.
Look, someone has a party.

You are right.

- It is a lot of people.
- Many people.

Wait.

You have the party.

Is it a camel?

Yes, it's a camel.

I am going to kill her.

What the fuck ...?

What did he do to my house?

No!

Kenny G is in my room.

Mam .

You lied to me.

I did what is best
for the family.

Everything bad about Christmas is in this
room, and I want it to disappear.

Amy, do not be ridiculous.

You can not kick Kenny G out of the house.
It is a national treasure.

If you do not do it,
I will do it.

You would not dare.

Show me

Hey!

- I need you to leave my house.
- What are you talking about?

- Go fuck yourself, Kenny G.
- They're going to pay me, right?

I do not know! Take your flute and go.
Adi s.

- Go to record another album.
- It's not a flute, bitch.

I'm not interested.
Thank you very much. You can go now.

- Go away. Thanks for coming.
- I am sorry. Excuse my daughter.

No Please.
V yanse.

I do not know anyone of you.
Get away from my house.

Sushi chef, outside.
We already finished.

Take that plate.

Enough, Amy!
You are embarrassing the family.

My God. Is that what it is all about?
It finally makes sense.

The decorations, the tree,
whatever is in my entrance ...

You did not do it for the boys!
You did it for you!

You only care if they tell you
that you are wonderful

You have no idea what
what are you saying?

Please do not forget to take your
memories of Louis Vuitton.

My God. My God. Please.
All this has to disappear.

The bags, the strange curtains,
the floor, the tree.

My God, this tree
He has to leave.

No, my tree does not!
It's from Paris!

- M rame.
- No!

No!

Disappear from your tree,
mam !

- It's an antiquity!
- It's a horrible tree, mam !

- You have no idea!
- It's not even real snow!

How do you dare?
Do you have any idea how much cost?

I'm not interested! Mam , su ltalo.
Take it!

- Those were from the Titanic!
- I do not care!

The ice was from the moon!
It was ice from the moon, you idiot bitch!

Drop the stupid tree.

I promised my children
that Christmas would not be like that.

Everyone likes Christmas like that!

- It's spectacular!
- It's not true!

Shit.

I need you to leave.

Amy ...

I had to tolerate
your shit all my life.

I can not anymore.
I can not anymore.

I need you outside of my house
and of my life forever.

- You do not mean it.
- Yes. Is seriously.

- Amy, it's Christmas.
- Mam , go ahead.

You ran to grandma
forever?

- How long have they been there?
- How could you do that to us?

Please believe me.
It is the best.

No, it's not true! It is the best for you.
We love grandma.

It is part of the family and we love it.
You can not run like this.

First you kicked dad.
Now you cast grandma.

Who is next?
We?

What? Cari o, of course not.
I would not do something like that.

Why do you always have
to ruin everything?

Cari o ...

Good job.

Boys.

Boys...

That's how it happened.

That's how it ruined Christmas.

I concentrated so much on fighting
with my mom ...

... that I lost sight of
the only thing that matters.

Ignored my children.

Worst of all is that ...

... not only
ruined Christmas.

Ruined my family.

Mam .

It's Christmas Eve.

Where do we order dinner?

Mam ?

Mam .

Hi.

Hi.

Thanks for inviting me
to your church

I did not invite you

What's up, bitches?

By God, it's Isis.

Isis is here.

- Hi, Isis.
- Hello.

I must say that I did not think you were
of those who go to church.

I'm solving
some issues.

In addition, all the bars
They are closed.

Girls

I really need
a little spiritual guidance.

Do you understand me?

- Do not.
- No?

Today my daughter told me that I needed
"more space".

I do not even know what
It means that.

My daughter just threw me
of his life forever.

Why?

Because I press it to be the best,
but he can not stand it.

My mom pressed me twice
and it turned out wonderful

I guess not all are so
Incredibly strong like me.

Well, my daughter did not throw me
of your house or anything.

But I was furious when I told him that
bought the house next to his.

What?
Did you buy the adjoining house?

Yes.

Did you ask before?

Do not,
I wanted it to be a surprise.

Good,
I think that's a little exaggerated.

That's psychopaths.

Good,
At least I love my daughter.

You only visit Carla when
you need money.

It is not true. I visit her in other
occasions, like when ...

... I'm hiding from someone.

Ac ptalo, Isis.

You are a degenerate player
without education ...

... and with some common extensions.

It's my own hair, s ?
And you're a terrible mother.

Ladies,
It's Jesus' birthday.

No, it's serious.

You think you're perfect,
but you are the worst of us.

I'm not sure...

It's fine, the second worst.
Whatever.

The point is that you're one of those moms
that are dressed to perfection ...

... that organize elegant parties,
who know how to cook ...

... that have their own teeth.

But, do you know what? You stink.

You stink in everything
that is important

Even I realize. Cast
I'm drugged all the time.

Please.
You do not know anything about me.

If you are so wonderful, why your daughter?
Did he take you out of his life forever?

In your face.

And you know what? I have done things to him
horrible to my daughter. Horrible

But he has never run.
Never.

So, take that, roll it
and tuck it in the ass.

Very good.

We have shared feelings
Very strong.

Shut your damn mouth,
Sandy.

Of course.

Hi.

Hi.

He heard what happened.

Are you okay?

I do not know.

- Can I ask you something?
- Clear.

How do you handle it?

What?

Live with mom.

By God, it's so authoritarian
and controller.

It is so superficial.
It happens all the time ...

... creating a perfect image
of herself to show off.

Cari o,
Your mom is not superficial.

Come on, wear princess clothes
At least once a month.

You will not believe me, but your mom is
the most insecure woman I know.

My mom?

- Ruth.
- Yes.

- Redmond.
- Yes.

It only shows it with me ...

... but under that hard exterior ...

... there is a scared girl with
a mom who never loved her.

Come on, daddy ...

You know your mom.

Nothing your mom does
It's enough for that woman.

It makes your mom feel useless
every day of his life.

That's why for your mom it's important
make everything perfect.

Not because it's superficial.
Because...

... if they tell you that you have the best
Tree of all the street ...

... feel, at least for a moment,
that is not useless.

That is good at something.

That someone wants it

Then why is it
unite with me?

Do you know what it is that
cause more insecurity?

Be mam .

You do not know how many times
who has asked me:

"I did a good job
educating Amy? "

"Am I a good mom?
Arruin everything? "

Do you really ask that?

Cari o, loves you more
that nothing in the world.

It's just that ...

... it has a horrible shape
to prove it.

Yes.

Listen, I've been married
with your mom for 36 years.

It's a pain, even
on good days.

But, do you know what?

I love her more now than
when we got married.

Because I know her as
it is really.

If you get your heart
I can forgive her ...

... and know her as
I know her...

... maybe you will discover ...

... that there is a funny person,
sweet and beautiful in there.

Did you say "sweet"?

Well, a funny woman
and beautiful in there.

Yes.

Yes.

Do you know where he is?

It's Christmas Eve.

Excuse me.

Hello, mam .

Hi.

Hi.

Hi, I'm Sandy.
The mom of Kiki.

Yes, I know.
What a pleasure to see you again.

What is it?

Wow, they are all together.
What good.

What are you doing here, Amy?

I came to apologize for having you
thrown out of the house.

You are my mom and it was something severe.

Definitely.

Yes.

All right.

Hey, psychic bitch. Your daughter ends
to apologize to you

It's supposed to be your turn
to do it

That's how they communicate
humans.

Basically,
I regret it too.

All right.
That was good.

Now tell him what he is
what you regret.

You can do it.

It is possible that he should not have done
a secret party in your house.

Obviously, you made several decisions
very bad this Christmas ...

... but for the tiny fraction
of guilt that corresponds to me ...

...I...

... I apologize in general.

All right.

Thank you.

Mam , I know what happened to you
extremely difficult to say.

Actually I do.

And you know what? Want you to know
that at last I understand why you are like that.

And I need you to know ...

...that I love you.

What does that mean?

I do not think you're useless.

You are incredible.

Why do you say it?

No matter what
say the others ...

... you are a great mother.

Really?

Yes.

Yes, I loved it
my childhood.

For real.
You gave me everything I needed.

And you always motivated me
To be better.

And, you were perfect?

Yes.

Do not.

But, nobody is perfect.

I really want you to know ...

... you did a great job.

It's the nicest thing that
they told me

Actually, I think you're
a wonderful mom.

Your children are very happy.
They are cute and they love you very much.

Thank you.

I would like ...

I would like to be so close to you.
like your children with you

On time.

But I'm not very good
for that, Amy.

I love you so much.

I love you so much.
For real.

Oh my God.
You are a disaster

The relationship between mother and daughter
Is very complicated.

But the two of them,
They already achieved it.

- I know. I know, honey.
- At last.

Yes, quiet.

- Do you want a little?
- Yes.

Calm calm.

Mam ?

- Mam , is ya midnight?
- Yes.

We have to save Christmas.

By God, I have all my life
waiting for this

I hope you like cookies.

- Mam , it's crazy.
- Almost there.

It will fall!
Mam , it's going to fall!

CHRISTMAS

My God.

This is incredible.

Merry Christmas,
Boys.

Mam ,
you worked a lot.

I had a little help.

- Merry Christmas, children.
- Grandmother.

Go open your gifts.

I bought them all seasons
of "The Walking Dead".

Oh my God.
Seriously, mam?

Thanks grandma.

My God.

Merry Christmas.

Lori,
Merry Christmas, pretty.

- Merry Christmas, Ruth.
- Merry Christmas, Jes s.

I'm Jessie.

Go, you have broad shoulders.
Amy, feel your men.

Very good. Enough, mam .
Thank you. Pass.

Thanks for almost
learn your name

I love you.

Merry Christmas,
Kiki

Merry Christmas,
mam .

You like my pajamas
of Kiki's heads?

- Not much.
- Thank you.

I wanted you to know that I put
for sale the adjoining house.

- Thank you.
- You are welcome.

I appreciate it a lot.

I know I can be a little crazy,
and that you need your space.

That's why I bought the
house in front

Just kidding.
I did not buy the house opposite.

- I bought the one at the end of the street.
- What?

Do not,
I'm going to move to your tico.

- Mam ! Really.
- What?

Where are you going to live?

I'm going back to Bismarck,
where I belong

- Thank you.
- You are welcome.

It's just that ...

I missed your dad all
Christmas.

- Me too.
- Yes.

Me too.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas, mam .

Mam ,
look what Santa brought me.

A used baseball glove.

Well, friend.

I had one the same.

Is it Santa?

Why would Santa be?
It already came last night.

Can I pass?

I know I have not been the best
mother of the world.

But you ...

...somehow
you turned out very well.

And Carla ...

I want to be like you.

He stopped betting ...

... to horse races.

And I'm going to pay you ...

... until the last cent
I asked you

Really?

Yes. I even got
a damn job.

Are you kidding?

No! I was hired to be in charge
of the safety of children.

Why would they let you do that?

I do not even know what happened
the toxicological examination.

Really.

They are crazy.

With what they are going to pay me,
I can repay everything in about 245 years.

Wait.
That means ...

... what are you going to stay for a while?

If you think it is fine.

Mam .

It's what I've always wanted.

Well, then I'm going to stay
until you want

Mam ...

Mam , also brought me
a box of Ziploc bags.

My God.

Shaobing for everyone.

Oh my God,
Chinese food at Christmas.

I feel Jewish.

Do you want shaobing?

I would love it.

No, honey.
He is Ruth's husband.

Do you know what?
As you like.

Hank deserves
have a little fun

I can not believe we have dinner
Chinese food at Christmas ...

... and that my mom
He is charming.

I can not believe my mom does not bring
a sweatshirt with my face.

Girls, we made it.

We recover Christmas.
It would not have been possible without you.

I love them.

- And we to you.
- Equally.

Hello,
est Carla?

S !

Ty Swindel.

How did you find me?

I just looked for you.

Hi.

There are many things
what I want to tell you

Dilas.

I think it's better to do it
with the universal language of dance.

- C llate.
- S !

- What dance?
- A Christmas dance.

Ty ...

V lgame.

It's beautiful, Ty.

Oh, my fucking God.

Volt ala Volt ala
Just turn it on

All right.

Very good.

It was incredible.
Thank you very much.

Go for everything.

Do not cry, honey.
Do not Cry.

It is very sexy.

- He's my son.
- S ?

- Hello.
- l.

It's Jaxon.

- Qu of?
- Pleasure.

- I carry you.
- I love you.

I love you.

Let's see or we will lose the flight

- What flight?
- I did not tell you?

Isis, Ruth and I are leaving
to Las Vegas for New Year.

And we're going to see Wayne Newton
Before I die.

Are they going to Las Vegas together?

S .
We are already best friends.

Good,
We are new friends.

We're best friends.

Yes, new friends.

Good,
Merry Christmas to all.

S ,
Merry Christmas to all.

Hank,
bring our luggage.

Happy Christmas to everyone!

THE CHRISTMAS OF THE
MOTHERS REBELS

THE CHRISTMAS OF THE
MOTHERS REBELS

Corrections and subtitling: Antillan0
A Bad Moms Christmas 2017

Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from OpenSubtitles.org