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1
00:00:02,381 --> 00:00:05,281
[mouth organ music]
2
00:00:08,042 --> 00:00:10,292
Okay, so this Friday, 8 p.m.
3
00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:13,080
murder mystery dinner,
Sierra Historical Society.
4
00:00:13,116 --> 00:00:14,076
I've rented it out.
5
00:00:14,117 --> 00:00:15,707
Umm, should be lots of fun.
6
00:00:15,739 --> 00:00:19,469
And I have very, very
good roles for both of you.
7
00:00:19,502 --> 00:00:23,372
[Williams]
'Is would like to introduce
Mrs. Debbie Dangle.'
8
00:00:23,402 --> 00:00:27,862
And may I present
my fiance, Gary Werner.
9
00:00:27,889 --> 00:00:30,199
Coming, my love!
10
00:00:30,237 --> 00:00:31,267
Hello!
11
00:00:31,307 --> 00:00:32,647
[Debbie giggles]
12
00:00:32,686 --> 00:00:35,066
Dance for us.
Dance, minstrel. Dance.
13
00:00:35,104 --> 00:00:37,454
You know what, bitch?
I'm his slave, not yours.
14
00:00:37,485 --> 00:00:39,345
- You're gonna shut up in here.
- Are you gonna cut me?
15
00:00:39,384 --> 00:00:42,084
- 'Yes, I am.'
- To murder.
16
00:00:42,111 --> 00:00:43,971
- Murder.
- Murder.
17
00:00:44,009 --> 00:00:45,359
[Debbie giggles]
18
00:00:45,390 --> 00:00:48,260
[instrumental music]
19
00:00:48,289 --> 00:00:49,739
She's really dead.
20
00:00:49,773 --> 00:00:52,713
[screaming]
21
00:00:54,744 --> 00:00:56,824
What the [bleep]. When are we
gonna get to the murder part?
22
00:00:56,849 --> 00:00:59,369
I've been laying on the bathroom
floor for three hours.
23
00:00:59,404 --> 00:01:00,654
Ooh.
24
00:01:01,475 --> 00:01:03,165
[instrumental music]
25
00:01:03,201 --> 00:01:04,721
Son of a bitch! Godammit!
26
00:01:04,754 --> 00:01:06,514
[explosion]
27
00:01:06,549 --> 00:01:08,099
[tires screeching]
28
00:01:10,277 --> 00:01:11,897
They all have guns!
29
00:01:12,796 --> 00:01:13,726
[explosion]
30
00:01:15,937 --> 00:01:17,697
Whoo-hoo!
31
00:01:19,838 --> 00:01:20,908
Ow!
32
00:01:20,942 --> 00:01:22,152
Push it to,
push it together?
33
00:01:22,185 --> 00:01:23,695
Sheriff's department!
I need your bike!
34
00:01:25,637 --> 00:01:27,087
Aah! Gah!
35
00:01:28,398 --> 00:01:30,228
[siren wailing]
36
00:01:30,262 --> 00:01:32,132
[gunshots]
37
00:01:32,161 --> 00:01:34,091
[groans]
38
00:01:36,441 --> 00:01:38,061
Watch. Over the line.
39
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,198
[screaming]
40
00:01:39,237 --> 00:01:41,407
[explosion]
41
00:01:41,446 --> 00:01:47,826
[siren wailing]
42
00:01:47,866 --> 00:01:49,386
[thunder rumbling]
43
00:01:49,419 --> 00:01:52,769
[Dangle]
'The authorities
are on their way.'
44
00:01:54,044 --> 00:01:55,394
- Hey, we're the authorities.
- I know.
45
00:01:55,425 --> 00:01:57,145
Well, the, the paramedics
are on their way is what I'm...
46
00:01:57,186 --> 00:01:59,076
Paramedics are on their way.
I should have clarified.
47
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:01,259
- Certainly.
- It seems as though...
48
00:02:01,293 --> 00:02:04,713
Our murder mystery dinner...
49
00:02:06,643 --> 00:02:09,823
...has become
a murder mystery dinner.
50
00:02:12,684 --> 00:02:15,934
The only thing
we know for certain
51
00:02:15,963 --> 00:02:17,793
that someone in this room
52
00:02:17,827 --> 00:02:22,037
wanted Debbie Dangle dead.
53
00:02:22,072 --> 00:02:24,702
So much so
54
00:02:24,730 --> 00:02:26,250
to commit such a heinous crime.
55
00:02:28,217 --> 00:02:30,177
Takes me back a little ways.
56
00:02:31,841 --> 00:02:34,121
Takes me back
57
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:35,644
to Cabo San Lucas.
58
00:02:35,672 --> 00:02:37,402
[all gasp]
59
00:02:37,433 --> 00:02:39,193
[Dangle]
'Leslie, I believe'
60
00:02:39,228 --> 00:02:41,538
we had had four mind erasers
61
00:02:41,575 --> 00:02:44,465
at Sammy Hagar's party joint
62
00:02:44,509 --> 00:02:46,369
Cabo Wabo
63
00:02:46,407 --> 00:02:49,757
when you said to me, and I quote
64
00:02:49,790 --> 00:02:53,660
"Boy, oh, boy, it would be
so super if Debbie were dead."
65
00:02:53,690 --> 00:02:55,140
[all gasp]
66
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:59,035
I said that several times,
but I was kidding.
67
00:02:59,075 --> 00:03:00,315
We laughed.
68
00:03:00,352 --> 00:03:02,082
What about Gary?
69
00:03:02,112 --> 00:03:03,742
[all gasp]
70
00:03:03,769 --> 00:03:06,219
[thunder rumbling]
71
00:03:06,255 --> 00:03:09,185
[instrumental music]
72
00:03:11,329 --> 00:03:13,609
[indistinct chatter on radio]
73
00:03:13,641 --> 00:03:14,951
[Junior]
'How you doing, Bernardino?'
74
00:03:14,987 --> 00:03:17,227
Now, some folks down
at the Piggly Wiggly
75
00:03:17,266 --> 00:03:19,436
in the produce section,
real upset.
76
00:03:19,475 --> 00:03:20,505
- You've been there?
- They're upset.
77
00:03:20,545 --> 00:03:22,235
- Yeah.
- You've been there?
78
00:03:22,271 --> 00:03:24,031
[Junior]
'Did you see anything while
you were down there?'
79
00:03:24,065 --> 00:03:26,585
I'm...
I haven't been there for...
80
00:03:26,620 --> 00:03:27,790
...seventy years?
81
00:03:27,828 --> 00:03:29,108
- Seventy years?
- Oh.
82
00:03:29,139 --> 00:03:30,489
Yeah. I mean,
I haven't been there for...
83
00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:32,380
I mean, I was there
seventy years ago, I guess.
84
00:03:32,419 --> 00:03:34,279
You were there at the
Piggly Wiggly seventy years ago?
85
00:03:34,317 --> 00:03:36,247
Yeah. So it's been a while.
86
00:03:36,285 --> 00:03:37,975
Yeah, that's a long time.
87
00:03:38,010 --> 00:03:40,390
4:20 this afternoon.
Think hard. Produce section.
88
00:03:40,427 --> 00:03:42,497
Area with fruits and vegetables.
89
00:03:42,532 --> 00:03:44,782
A gentleman, Caucasian
90
00:03:44,810 --> 00:03:47,680
about 5'10", roller skates
91
00:03:47,710 --> 00:03:49,260
which made us think...
92
00:03:49,298 --> 00:03:50,328
Maybe it's Terry.
93
00:03:50,368 --> 00:03:51,848
Maybe Terry
would know this guy.
94
00:03:51,886 --> 00:03:54,646
Maybe the person that works
there is stupid and ugly.
95
00:03:54,682 --> 00:03:57,172
See, it seems,
again to me like you might
96
00:03:57,202 --> 00:03:58,622
know this person
in the produce section.
97
00:03:58,652 --> 00:04:00,172
I feel like it's coming back.
98
00:04:00,205 --> 00:04:03,275
I don't know any fat women with
red hair in the produce section.
99
00:04:03,312 --> 00:04:06,042
Alright, so this is
starting to fall into place.
100
00:04:06,073 --> 00:04:08,563
- Our witness, Kelly O'Brien--
- She sounds like a bitch.
101
00:04:08,593 --> 00:04:11,773
She was a little thick,
and she wasn't super nice.
102
00:04:11,803 --> 00:04:12,943
- She wasn't super nice.
- That's true.
103
00:04:12,976 --> 00:04:15,146
But maybe you
got off on the wrong foot
104
00:04:15,185 --> 00:04:17,425
because what were you doing
in the produce section?
105
00:04:18,810 --> 00:04:22,050
I was trying fruit on.
106
00:04:22,089 --> 00:04:24,849
Mm-hmm.
That's exactly what we got.
107
00:04:24,885 --> 00:04:26,575
- Oh, [bleep]. God!
- You see?
108
00:04:26,611 --> 00:04:29,481
Let him go. Let him go.
109
00:04:29,510 --> 00:04:31,340
[Junior]
'I didn't think
you could skate on grass.'
110
00:04:31,374 --> 00:04:32,764
'Look at that
son of a bitch go.'
111
00:04:32,789 --> 00:04:34,719
[instrumental music]
112
00:04:36,621 --> 00:04:38,111
[thunder rumbling]
113
00:04:38,139 --> 00:04:40,449
- What about Gary?
- Oh! What about Gary?
114
00:04:40,487 --> 00:04:41,757
- What about Gary...
- Oh, I'm Gary.
115
00:04:41,798 --> 00:04:44,248
...whose voice-over business
is being lost to India
116
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:47,154
who I saw at the gym
two weeks ago nearly in tears
117
00:04:47,183 --> 00:04:49,913
about his loss of income?
118
00:04:49,944 --> 00:04:52,984
We all know that Deb...
119
00:04:53,016 --> 00:04:56,016
...was worth over...
120
00:04:56,054 --> 00:05:00,234
...four hundred...
thousand dollars.
121
00:05:00,265 --> 00:05:01,575
[clock chimes]
122
00:05:01,611 --> 00:05:03,791
Four hundred thousand
US dollars.
123
00:05:03,820 --> 00:05:06,030
Let me tell you something
124
00:05:06,064 --> 00:05:10,174
that I have
never told anyone else.
125
00:05:10,206 --> 00:05:14,486
Some miss lady told me
in confidence
126
00:05:14,521 --> 00:05:16,831
that she was really
127
00:05:16,868 --> 00:05:19,938
Debbie Dangle's sister!
128
00:05:22,701 --> 00:05:25,641
[instrumental music]
129
00:05:27,465 --> 00:05:30,295
[indistinct chatter on radio]
130
00:05:31,227 --> 00:05:33,397
Hey. Are you arresting him?
131
00:05:33,436 --> 00:05:35,956
- Yes, I am. He's--
- That's awesome.
132
00:05:35,990 --> 00:05:38,580
- Just stay back, sir.
- Okay. I'll stay back.
133
00:05:38,614 --> 00:05:40,754
I-I-I want to be you someday
134
00:05:40,788 --> 00:05:42,788
when I pass the test
to be a cop.
135
00:05:42,825 --> 00:05:44,615
You want to see my gun?
I got a gun.
136
00:05:44,654 --> 00:05:46,174
- Whoa, whoa!
- Whoa, hey!
137
00:05:46,207 --> 00:05:47,827
Oh, ha, ha. Whoa.
138
00:05:47,864 --> 00:05:49,044
You got a permit for that thing?
139
00:05:49,072 --> 00:05:51,352
Yeah, of course, I got a permit.
140
00:05:51,385 --> 00:05:53,385
- Sweet!
- Yeah.
141
00:05:53,422 --> 00:05:54,872
- This is nice.
- Yeah.
142
00:05:54,906 --> 00:05:56,426
- Uh-oh.
- Uh-oh.
143
00:05:56,459 --> 00:05:58,839
- My gun's bigger than yours.
- Yours is bigger than mine.
144
00:05:58,875 --> 00:06:00,145
Whoa.
145
00:06:00,187 --> 00:06:02,117
- So you want to be a cop, huh?
- Yeah.
146
00:06:02,154 --> 00:06:03,644
Okay. It ain't as easy
as you might think.
147
00:06:03,673 --> 00:06:05,643
I want to be...
My dad wanted to be one.
148
00:06:05,675 --> 00:06:07,365
But he was in jail
so he couldn't be.
149
00:06:07,401 --> 00:06:09,271
And I'm on Fluoxetine.
150
00:06:09,299 --> 00:06:11,919
It's like Prozac
but for poor people.
151
00:06:11,957 --> 00:06:14,337
Look, if you ever try to
get on the force...
152
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,764
You don't want to mention
any mental disabilities.
153
00:06:16,790 --> 00:06:18,410
Everyone's got a little
bit of [bleep] up, okay?
154
00:06:18,447 --> 00:06:19,617
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
155
00:06:19,655 --> 00:06:22,135
- It's a fine line, you know?
- Yeah.
156
00:06:22,174 --> 00:06:24,564
But as long as you know
how to navigate it, which I do
157
00:06:24,591 --> 00:06:25,761
don't bring it up.
158
00:06:25,799 --> 00:06:28,869
- Oh, okay. Okay, thanks.
- Alright.
159
00:06:28,905 --> 00:06:30,415
Okay, dirt bag,
time to go to jail.
160
00:06:30,459 --> 00:06:32,079
Yeah, time to go to jail.
161
00:06:32,115 --> 00:06:33,735
[chuckles]
Dirt bag.
162
00:06:33,772 --> 00:06:36,052
Hey, do you want me
to take him to jail?
163
00:06:36,085 --> 00:06:38,665
I got a badge.
I found it in a cop car.
164
00:06:38,708 --> 00:06:40,228
My name is James Dangle.
165
00:06:40,261 --> 00:06:42,511
You're under arrest.
Get in the back of the car.
166
00:06:42,540 --> 00:06:46,030
[laughs]Awesome!
I'll read myself my rights.
167
00:06:46,060 --> 00:06:47,960
I have the right
to remain silent.
168
00:06:47,993 --> 00:06:49,933
[instrumental music]
169
00:06:52,515 --> 00:06:53,925
[thunder rumbling]
170
00:06:53,965 --> 00:06:55,345
[Trudy]
'She's my half-sister
and she did'
171
00:06:55,380 --> 00:06:56,830
'try to kill me several times
when we were kids'
172
00:06:56,864 --> 00:06:58,494
but I didn't want her dead.
173
00:06:58,521 --> 00:07:01,561
- Deb was your half-sister?
- Yeah. It was 'cause our dad...
174
00:07:01,593 --> 00:07:03,983
My mom was raped by...
It's a long story.
175
00:07:04,009 --> 00:07:05,629
- By American Indians.
- By an American Indian.
176
00:07:05,666 --> 00:07:08,426
- On a souvenir hunt.
- Right. He also raped her mom.
177
00:07:08,462 --> 00:07:09,882
[Gary]
'Wow.'
178
00:07:09,912 --> 00:07:12,712
But I did not want to kill her,
and I did not want her dead
179
00:07:12,742 --> 00:07:14,022
and I did not kill her.
180
00:07:14,054 --> 00:07:17,404
However, I had a conversation
181
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:18,507
with someone in this room...
182
00:07:20,854 --> 00:07:24,484
...someone who shall
remain nameless.
183
00:07:24,513 --> 00:07:25,723
Jim Dangle!
184
00:07:25,755 --> 00:07:26,825
[all gasp]
185
00:07:26,860 --> 00:07:29,690
Isn't it true...
186
00:07:29,725 --> 00:07:33,625
...that you told me
on the telephone
187
00:07:33,660 --> 00:07:36,490
not four days ago...
188
00:07:36,525 --> 00:07:39,835
...that you were thinking about
buying new shoes for yourself
189
00:07:39,873 --> 00:07:42,743
perhaps in brown,
maybe even in black?
190
00:07:44,671 --> 00:07:46,781
I did. And I... I got them
in that Zappos place online.
191
00:07:46,811 --> 00:07:48,361
- They're nice.
- They're like...
192
00:07:48,398 --> 00:07:49,918
- The-these were not even--
- That's all I could think of.
193
00:07:49,952 --> 00:07:51,642
- That's all I got.
- They were half the list price.
194
00:07:51,678 --> 00:07:53,228
- Do you guys ever go to Zappos?
- Oh, yes.
195
00:07:53,265 --> 00:07:54,675
- Outstanding.
- Next day.
196
00:07:54,715 --> 00:07:55,985
Fabulous shoes.
They're there the next day.
197
00:07:56,027 --> 00:07:57,887
You type in what you want.
You type in your size.
198
00:07:57,925 --> 00:08:00,235
If you do it after you've been
drinking, it's like magic.
199
00:08:00,272 --> 00:08:02,072
[instrumental music]
200
00:08:02,102 --> 00:08:04,042
[siren wailing]
201
00:08:06,693 --> 00:08:08,633
[siren wailing]
202
00:08:09,834 --> 00:08:11,424
[thunder rumbling]
203
00:08:11,456 --> 00:08:14,246
[Dangle]
'And I suppose
you all suspect me'
204
00:08:14,286 --> 00:08:17,256
because everyone knows that
Deb never changed her will.
205
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:21,048
Well, you are
the only one with a gun.
206
00:08:21,086 --> 00:08:22,496
[thunder rumbling]
207
00:08:22,536 --> 00:08:23,636
[all gasp]
208
00:08:23,675 --> 00:08:25,505
He's gonna kill me
to shut me up!
209
00:08:25,539 --> 00:08:27,779
Is that what you're gonna do?
Well, it won't work!
210
00:08:30,302 --> 00:08:32,822
Okay, for real, this is a prop.
This is a prop gun.
211
00:08:32,857 --> 00:08:34,957
Because I was gonna kill
the corpse with it.
212
00:08:34,996 --> 00:08:37,546
- Why do you have a gun, Leslie?
- This is real. This is re...
213
00:08:37,586 --> 00:08:40,206
I knew I had to defend myself
when I came here tonight.
214
00:08:40,243 --> 00:08:41,593
The last time
I was at your trailer
215
00:08:41,624 --> 00:08:44,044
I saw you'd been
stock piling cyanide.
216
00:08:44,075 --> 00:08:45,275
What?
217
00:08:45,317 --> 00:08:47,107
[thunder rumbling]
218
00:08:47,147 --> 00:08:48,767
It's true.
219
00:08:48,804 --> 00:08:52,394
It's true,
but that is because we have
220
00:08:52,428 --> 00:08:55,598
a very serious
possum infestation...
221
00:08:56,432 --> 00:08:57,922
...in the trailer park.
222
00:08:57,951 --> 00:09:00,571
And I knew I wanted to get rid
of those little buggers...
223
00:09:00,609 --> 00:09:02,129
...once and for all.
224
00:09:02,162 --> 00:09:04,412
That's why I had it and it has
nothing to do with the fact
225
00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:05,650
that Deb never changed her will.
226
00:09:05,683 --> 00:09:08,963
And I know that because I went
227
00:09:08,996 --> 00:09:10,896
to the Washoe County Hall
of records
228
00:09:10,929 --> 00:09:12,549
to do some investigating.
229
00:09:12,586 --> 00:09:14,036
You can do that online now.
230
00:09:14,070 --> 00:09:15,870
- Can you really?
- Yeah.
231
00:09:15,900 --> 00:09:17,660
You can do most
everything online now.
232
00:09:17,695 --> 00:09:19,625
Can you look up any records,
birth certificates?
233
00:09:19,662 --> 00:09:23,362
I found my great-uncle's
birth certificate online.
234
00:09:23,390 --> 00:09:24,980
The Mormons.
The Mormons do it for free.
235
00:09:25,012 --> 00:09:26,432
Oh, the Mormons. Yeah.
236
00:09:26,462 --> 00:09:28,402
[instrumental music]
237
00:09:31,985 --> 00:09:34,915
[speaking in foreign language]
238
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:48,587
What's goin' on?
239
00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:53,492
Oh, it's a,
it's a, a sting operation.
240
00:09:53,523 --> 00:09:55,733
Uh, big problem
in the Russian community.
241
00:09:55,767 --> 00:09:58,357
They have these sex lines
with underage girls.
242
00:09:58,390 --> 00:09:59,530
Totally illegal.
243
00:09:59,564 --> 00:10:00,814
We're trying to
trace this guy.
244
00:10:00,841 --> 00:10:02,811
They're the victims.
They're the victims.
245
00:10:03,948 --> 00:10:06,878
[speaking in foreign language]
246
00:10:14,855 --> 00:10:16,235
- Oh, okay.
- Oh.
247
00:10:16,270 --> 00:10:18,310
- That's--
- Da!
248
00:10:18,341 --> 00:10:22,281
[speaking in foreign language]
249
00:10:29,076 --> 00:10:31,866
Okay, okay, we're gonna
make him go too early.
250
00:10:31,907 --> 00:10:33,317
'We're gonna
blow him too early.'
251
00:10:33,356 --> 00:10:35,116
I, I think, I think, maybe
you better tell this boy
252
00:10:35,151 --> 00:10:37,781
that you're a little, tiny,
underage, naughty school girl.
253
00:10:37,809 --> 00:10:39,639
- Yeah.
- That's a good point.
254
00:10:39,673 --> 00:10:41,163
- We could nail him on this.
- That's right.
255
00:10:41,192 --> 00:10:43,992
And maybe, tell him,
tell him that
256
00:10:44,022 --> 00:10:47,682
five and a half inches
is plenty big.
257
00:10:47,716 --> 00:10:49,646
[speaking in foreign language]
258
00:10:50,719 --> 00:10:52,929
What, what are you doing?
259
00:10:52,962 --> 00:10:54,212
- Uh...
- Uh...
260
00:10:54,239 --> 00:10:57,139
Workin' on that underage
phone sex sting, sarge.
261
00:10:57,173 --> 00:10:58,493
- Phone sex sting operation.
- All over it.
262
00:10:58,519 --> 00:10:59,999
That's federal. That's FCC.
263
00:11:00,038 --> 00:11:02,108
[moaning]
264
00:11:02,144 --> 00:11:04,114
Which is why we're all over it.
265
00:11:04,146 --> 00:11:06,076
[speaking in foreign language]
266
00:11:07,528 --> 00:11:09,118
It's a real slow day here.
267
00:11:09,151 --> 00:11:10,671
[speaking in foreign language]
268
00:11:10,704 --> 00:11:13,264
Tell the guy, like, you, you,
you've been a bad girl...
269
00:11:13,293 --> 00:11:14,503
Uh, give you a spankin'.
270
00:11:14,535 --> 00:11:15,705
[instrumental music]
271
00:11:15,744 --> 00:11:17,684
[siren wailing]
272
00:11:20,196 --> 00:11:23,056
[Dangle]
'Let me take you back in time.'
273
00:11:23,096 --> 00:11:27,376
Back in time to
a young scientist...
274
00:11:28,584 --> 00:11:30,904
...named La Fontaine Williams.
275
00:11:32,484 --> 00:11:34,114
La Fontaine Williams
276
00:11:34,141 --> 00:11:37,111
just a young scientist working
277
00:11:37,144 --> 00:11:39,774
for the Fillmore
Vacuum Cleaner Company.
278
00:11:39,802 --> 00:11:42,742
'The company that belonged
to Debbie's father.'
279
00:11:44,289 --> 00:11:47,289
La Fontaine Williams,
father of Raineesha Williams!
280
00:11:47,327 --> 00:11:49,327
[all gasp]
281
00:11:49,363 --> 00:11:52,573
And was he or was he not...
282
00:11:53,782 --> 00:11:57,272
...the inventor of
283
00:11:57,302 --> 00:12:00,692
the couch sucky attachment?
284
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,270
The attach...
What do you call them?
285
00:12:02,307 --> 00:12:04,447
- The sucky couch...
- The couch...
286
00:12:04,482 --> 00:12:07,522
The sucky couch attachment!
Yes, he was!
287
00:12:07,554 --> 00:12:11,324
Yes, he was and, yes,
Deb's people
288
00:12:11,351 --> 00:12:13,421
stole from my family!
289
00:12:13,456 --> 00:12:14,866
Yes, they did.
290
00:12:14,906 --> 00:12:16,766
But that doesn't mean
I killed her.
291
00:12:16,805 --> 00:12:19,215
White people steal from
black people all the time.
292
00:12:19,255 --> 00:12:21,735
Our hair care products,
our dances...
293
00:12:21,775 --> 00:12:24,115
- The blues. Rock and roll.
- All kinds of stuff.
294
00:12:24,157 --> 00:12:25,607
[doorbell rings]
295
00:12:25,641 --> 00:12:27,951
I'm going to get the door!
296
00:12:29,265 --> 00:12:30,815
- Adorable, fun.
- So funny.
297
00:12:30,853 --> 00:12:32,893
Oh, even at a time like this
298
00:12:32,924 --> 00:12:34,554
it's just fun
to have her around.
299
00:12:34,581 --> 00:12:35,891
They're like walking angels.
300
00:12:35,927 --> 00:12:39,137
Welcome to the Caribbean, baby.
301
00:12:39,172 --> 00:12:40,902
Aho!
302
00:12:40,932 --> 00:12:43,142
You said it was
a dress-up party.
303
00:12:43,176 --> 00:12:44,686
[Dangle]
'Okay, so this is...
I meant, I meant...'
304
00:12:44,729 --> 00:12:46,319
By the way, just, just dress up.
305
00:12:46,351 --> 00:12:48,151
Dress-up party, you said.
Be there at 8:00.
306
00:12:48,181 --> 00:12:49,941
Dress-up party.
Pigs in blankets.
307
00:12:49,976 --> 00:12:52,076
Okay, A, it's almost 9:45.
308
00:12:52,116 --> 00:12:53,736
B, you're dressed
like Captain Jack.
309
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,573
I almost went as Iron Man,
but it was, like
310
00:12:55,602 --> 00:12:57,332
a hundred and sixty five bucks
for a good one.
311
00:12:57,362 --> 00:12:58,362
- Okay!
- Borrowed this one.
312
00:12:58,398 --> 00:12:59,738
Super. Bar is that way.
313
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,399
And then, let's talk
about this on Monday too.
314
00:13:01,435 --> 00:13:03,605
Uh, uh,
my ex-wife and his ex-wife
315
00:13:03,644 --> 00:13:05,474
and his current wife is dead.
316
00:13:05,508 --> 00:13:07,098
Yeah. Murder mystery dinner.
I get it.
317
00:13:07,131 --> 00:13:08,651
- No, she's really dead.
- No, no, no, she's dead.
318
00:13:08,684 --> 00:13:09,864
Yeah, get it.
Murder mystery dinner.
319
00:13:09,892 --> 00:13:11,172
- 'Really dead.'
- 'She died.'
320
00:13:11,204 --> 00:13:13,794
Oooh. I get it.
What you want to drink?
321
00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:15,727
Steppin' over you, Mrs. Dangle.
322
00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:18,180
Don't step in that. That's real.
323
00:13:18,211 --> 00:13:20,141
[siren wailing]
324
00:13:22,353 --> 00:13:24,673
How many times has
this happened to you?
325
00:13:24,700 --> 00:13:26,080
You use your credit card
326
00:13:26,115 --> 00:13:28,665
to purchase pornography
on the internet.
327
00:13:28,704 --> 00:13:31,674
Or for adult themed
board games or novelty items.
328
00:13:31,707 --> 00:13:35,087
And then you're
getting credit card bills
329
00:13:35,124 --> 00:13:38,304
for motor boats and fancy trips
to Paris, France.
330
00:13:39,163 --> 00:13:41,793
What happened?
331
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:44,341
You are a victim
of identity theft.
332
00:13:44,375 --> 00:13:46,445
That's why I always use...
333
00:13:47,965 --> 00:13:49,405
...a secure ID
334
00:13:49,449 --> 00:13:51,519
the Master Bait Charge Card.
335
00:13:51,554 --> 00:13:54,424
The card that's only
for pornography.
336
00:13:54,454 --> 00:13:58,084
No more fancy trips
or boats on me.
337
00:13:58,113 --> 00:14:00,223
Thank you, Master Bait Card.
338
00:14:02,013 --> 00:14:05,883
The Master Bait
Charge Card, that is.
339
00:14:05,914 --> 00:14:08,164
[Dangle]
Protect your good name
with a master bait
340
00:14:08,192 --> 00:14:11,402
porno only personal
credit card for him or her.
341
00:14:13,922 --> 00:14:15,652
[siren wailing]
342
00:14:17,201 --> 00:14:19,651
- Whoa! Hello, ma'am.
- Hi.
343
00:14:19,686 --> 00:14:21,756
Hi. Oh, hi.
344
00:14:21,791 --> 00:14:23,761
- Hi, boo.
- Hi.
345
00:14:23,793 --> 00:14:24,933
- Hi.
- Hi.
346
00:14:24,967 --> 00:14:26,137
I really... I'm really...
347
00:14:26,175 --> 00:14:28,245
I'm really, I'm really,
really, really glad
348
00:14:28,281 --> 00:14:30,801
that you're here
because I was in distress.
349
00:14:30,835 --> 00:14:33,175
- Okay. Wh-wh-what's--
- Damsel in distress.
350
00:14:33,217 --> 00:14:35,177
What is the nature
of your emergency, ma'am?
351
00:14:35,219 --> 00:14:38,019
I was hoping that you could
help me bust up a chifforobe.
352
00:14:40,776 --> 00:14:43,016
I'll give you a dollar.
353
00:14:43,054 --> 00:14:45,514
Ma'am, I'm a,
I'm a police officer.
354
00:14:45,539 --> 00:14:49,439
- I'm here for emergency...
- And this is an emergency.
355
00:14:49,474 --> 00:14:53,134
And I-I'm not here to bust
up chifforobes or...
356
00:14:53,168 --> 00:14:54,688
Yes, you are. Yes, you are.
357
00:14:54,721 --> 00:14:58,311
You would not be here
if you did not feel
358
00:14:58,345 --> 00:15:00,925
what I feel, like,
what I feel right now.
359
00:15:00,969 --> 00:15:03,139
Like the birds are humming
in the background.
360
00:15:03,178 --> 00:15:05,938
The air is perfect, okay?
361
00:15:05,974 --> 00:15:07,874
I just finished spaghetti.
362
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:09,907
Like, everything is working out.
363
00:15:09,943 --> 00:15:12,123
Lady, listen, um...
364
00:15:12,152 --> 00:15:13,332
Thank you for calling me a lady.
365
00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:14,470
I can't--
366
00:15:14,499 --> 00:15:16,329
That only makes me like
you so much more
367
00:15:16,363 --> 00:15:18,993
because you are
a gentleman, you know?
368
00:15:19,021 --> 00:15:21,331
Like, there are so
few gentlemen out there
369
00:15:21,368 --> 00:15:24,508
especially gentlemen that
are willing to come here
370
00:15:24,544 --> 00:15:27,934
and bust up
a chifforobe for a dollar.
371
00:15:27,961 --> 00:15:30,861
Like, that is really ju...
372
00:15:30,895 --> 00:15:32,855
Don't follow me.
373
00:15:32,897 --> 00:15:34,827
See you tomorrow!
374
00:15:34,864 --> 00:15:37,354
[indistinct chatter on radio]
375
00:15:37,384 --> 00:15:39,634
I should have never
put my [bleep] in her.
376
00:15:41,009 --> 00:15:42,769
See, that's my fault.
Shame on me.
377
00:15:42,803 --> 00:15:44,363
Shame on me.
378
00:15:44,391 --> 00:15:46,321
[instrumental music]
379
00:15:48,430 --> 00:15:50,360
[thunder rumbling]
380
00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:55,330
[indistinct chatter on radio]
381
00:15:56,852 --> 00:15:58,792
Look, I'm, uh, really
sorry about your loss.
382
00:15:58,819 --> 00:15:59,789
It's never easy.
383
00:15:59,820 --> 00:16:01,370
We're gonna run outside
384
00:16:01,408 --> 00:16:03,268
do a quick toxicology report.
385
00:16:03,307 --> 00:16:05,517
We'll be back in, and, and um...
386
00:16:07,414 --> 00:16:08,624
Captain Jack?
387
00:16:08,657 --> 00:16:10,587
He said it was a dress-up party.
388
00:16:13,248 --> 00:16:16,178
Oh, give it a rest.
Give it a rest!
389
00:16:16,216 --> 00:16:17,766
Give it a rest.
390
00:16:17,804 --> 00:16:20,884
Well, nobody asked me,
but the one with
391
00:16:20,910 --> 00:16:24,160
the most motive to kill
Debbie Dangle Frost...
392
00:16:25,191 --> 00:16:27,021
- 'Williams.'
- What?
393
00:16:27,055 --> 00:16:28,605
Revenge is sweet,
ain't it, Williams?
394
00:16:28,642 --> 00:16:29,822
[Williams]
No. I...
395
00:16:29,850 --> 00:16:31,680
Especially since
your daddy did have
396
00:16:31,714 --> 00:16:34,554
the patent
on the Fillmore vacuum nozzle
397
00:16:34,579 --> 00:16:37,889
that would make you
worth over $400,000
398
00:16:37,927 --> 00:16:39,897
and you'd never have
to sheriff again, would you?
399
00:16:39,929 --> 00:16:41,209
What jus... No.
400
00:16:41,241 --> 00:16:44,421
But what you know
and what you told me once
401
00:16:44,451 --> 00:16:46,871
when you were really drunk, but
you probably don't remember is
402
00:16:46,902 --> 00:16:50,252
your dad also pulled out
a patent on mousetrap
403
00:16:50,285 --> 00:16:52,665
the board game
and that was eight, nine years
404
00:16:52,701 --> 00:16:54,431
after Parker Brothers
had it on the shelves.
405
00:16:54,461 --> 00:16:56,841
He tried to patent beaver shots
406
00:16:56,877 --> 00:16:59,977
just the term
beaver shots, three peat
407
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:02,779
uh, way after Phil Jackson
had the patent.
408
00:17:02,814 --> 00:17:05,274
Yeah. Bat[bleep] crazy bananas.
409
00:17:05,300 --> 00:17:07,060
So cross you off the list
410
00:17:07,095 --> 00:17:09,985
and that brings
us to Trudy Wiegel.
411
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:14,651
Debbie really did treat you
like a [bleep], didn't she?
412
00:17:14,688 --> 00:17:16,928
Really, really,
really horrible.
413
00:17:16,965 --> 00:17:19,515
But what people in the room
don't know and only you do know
414
00:17:19,555 --> 00:17:21,315
is that when she was
having all that problems
415
00:17:21,349 --> 00:17:23,389
from the gastric bypass surgery
416
00:17:23,421 --> 00:17:24,871
Trudy gave her a kidney.
417
00:17:24,905 --> 00:17:27,005
I did, I also tried to
give her my gall bladder
418
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,486
but it, it had
already been removed.
419
00:17:28,530 --> 00:17:30,460
Didn't want it,
didn't need one, didn't want it.
420
00:17:30,497 --> 00:17:33,327
That brings us to
Leslie over here.
421
00:17:33,362 --> 00:17:36,092
Real good motive, considering
that he probably thought
422
00:17:36,124 --> 00:17:38,444
that he was still in her will.
423
00:17:38,471 --> 00:17:40,961
But what people here
don't know is
424
00:17:40,990 --> 00:17:43,990
that your father's a pretty
well known politician
425
00:17:44,028 --> 00:17:45,998
and he pays Leslie Frost here
426
00:17:46,030 --> 00:17:49,860
a stipend of $40,000 a month
427
00:17:49,896 --> 00:17:52,346
to stay out of
Hartford, Connecticut.
428
00:17:53,658 --> 00:17:55,448
That brings us to big boy here.
429
00:17:55,488 --> 00:17:58,588
'Obviously a man like this
would only marry a lady'
430
00:17:58,629 --> 00:18:00,729
like Debbie Dangle
for money, but...
431
00:18:00,769 --> 00:18:01,979
Puh-leez.
432
00:18:02,011 --> 00:18:03,771
The reason
that I was late to this
433
00:18:03,806 --> 00:18:06,016
fancy, little accusatory fest
434
00:18:06,050 --> 00:18:07,530
you got going here is
I was out behind
435
00:18:07,569 --> 00:18:09,299
the dumpster with Cindy,
finishing a Mickey's
436
00:18:09,329 --> 00:18:11,119
'big mouth,
I was hoping to parlay'
437
00:18:11,159 --> 00:18:12,299
into a [bleep] job.
438
00:18:12,332 --> 00:18:14,582
And that's when I heard
439
00:18:14,610 --> 00:18:16,650
this young gentleman [bleep]
440
00:18:16,681 --> 00:18:19,681
'Debbie Dangle Frost
eight ways till Sunday.'
441
00:18:20,513 --> 00:18:21,723
Guilty.
442
00:18:21,755 --> 00:18:24,585
I hate to blow your cover,
but this man
443
00:18:24,620 --> 00:18:26,140
flaming heterosexual.
444
00:18:26,174 --> 00:18:27,454
- Flaming.
- 'Oh, [bleep]!'
445
00:18:27,485 --> 00:18:29,275
You could hear it in his voice.Oh, [bleep].
446
00:18:29,315 --> 00:18:31,625
- Car rockin'.
- Oh, I love [bleep].
447
00:18:31,662 --> 00:18:33,182
[Dangle]
'That explains a lot.'
448
00:18:33,215 --> 00:18:34,725
[Junior]
'And that only leaves
one person.'
449
00:18:34,768 --> 00:18:36,768
[thunder rumbling]
450
00:18:36,805 --> 00:18:38,625
Jim Dangle.
451
00:18:40,636 --> 00:18:43,566
[siren wailing]
452
00:18:46,539 --> 00:18:48,469
[siren wailing]
453
00:18:49,645 --> 00:18:52,575
[Junior]
'Jim Dangle, who two days ago'
454
00:18:52,614 --> 00:18:54,694
went to the hall of records
to verify
455
00:18:54,719 --> 00:18:57,929
that he was indeed still
the sole benefactor
456
00:18:57,964 --> 00:19:01,494
of Debbie Dangle's will,
which he was.
457
00:19:01,519 --> 00:19:04,589
Not only is his trailer
full of cyanide
458
00:19:04,626 --> 00:19:08,456
he also, two weekends
ago, volunteered
459
00:19:08,492 --> 00:19:10,742
to take an unpaid
460
00:19:10,770 --> 00:19:13,190
toxicology course
at the sheriff's department
461
00:19:13,221 --> 00:19:14,501
down in Carson City.
462
00:19:14,532 --> 00:19:18,432
Unpaid eight hours on a weekend
to study toxicology.
463
00:19:18,467 --> 00:19:19,567
[Dangle]
'I love my job.'
464
00:19:19,606 --> 00:19:22,196
A man with that much cyanide.
465
00:19:22,230 --> 00:19:25,060
A man with that certificate
466
00:19:25,094 --> 00:19:27,414
in toxicology
and it wasn't really a degree
467
00:19:27,442 --> 00:19:28,932
it was just
a little certificate
468
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,410
that they issued to you
469
00:19:30,445 --> 00:19:32,755
would know that if you drank
one glass of white wine
470
00:19:32,792 --> 00:19:35,242
you'd be fine,
two, you'd be okay
471
00:19:35,277 --> 00:19:39,207
but if you snorted down half
a bottle like the water buffalo
472
00:19:39,247 --> 00:19:41,867
that was Debbie Dangle Frost
473
00:19:41,904 --> 00:19:44,464
you'd be as dead...
474
00:19:44,493 --> 00:19:47,843
Well, as dead as
Debbie Dangle Frost.
475
00:19:47,876 --> 00:19:50,596
Take him away,
Williams. Yes.
476
00:19:50,637 --> 00:19:52,397
Put it down.
It's a prop, you idiot.
477
00:19:52,432 --> 00:19:55,232
- You already told us.
- What? You was gonna shoot me?
478
00:19:55,263 --> 00:19:58,923
I panicked. I was..
I panicked. Sorry.
479
00:19:58,956 --> 00:20:02,546
Yous got the right
to remain silent
480
00:20:02,580 --> 00:20:04,510
and anythings you say
481
00:20:04,548 --> 00:20:08,408
shall be used against
you in a court of law.
482
00:20:08,448 --> 00:20:10,238
You can drop the act, Dangle.
483
00:20:10,278 --> 00:20:12,068
- Oh, my gosh.
- Well, we ran a report.
484
00:20:12,107 --> 00:20:15,077
And, uh, it seems that
485
00:20:15,110 --> 00:20:16,530
little miss former fatty
486
00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:19,110
had one too many pigs
in a blanket.
487
00:20:19,148 --> 00:20:20,808
It compromised the integrity
of her lower bowel.
488
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:22,320
Her stomach exploded.
The staples came out.
489
00:20:22,359 --> 00:20:23,769
It's not murder.
490
00:20:23,808 --> 00:20:25,258
[all gasp]
491
00:20:25,293 --> 00:20:26,643
- Oh. Wow.
- No, no, no.
492
00:20:26,673 --> 00:20:28,923
Don't worry. She was a real
[bleep] of a woman.
493
00:20:28,951 --> 00:20:31,131
[thunder rumbling]
494
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:32,510
[mouth organ music]
495
00:20:32,541 --> 00:20:34,131
[Junior]
'Hey, let's not tell Dangle.'
496
00:20:34,163 --> 00:20:35,273
[Wiegel]
'Stir-fried mice.'
497
00:20:35,303 --> 00:20:36,793
[laughter]
498
00:20:39,099 --> 00:20:42,339
I was at...
499
00:20:43,656 --> 00:20:45,726
The, the chicken
and skate.
500
00:20:45,761 --> 00:20:47,181
You were at the chicken
and skate. Okay.
501
00:20:47,211 --> 00:20:48,521
Kids skate
in a little rink
502
00:20:48,557 --> 00:20:50,277
and they skate around
and then they would have the guy
503
00:20:50,318 --> 00:20:51,698
with the little
chicken and he would go...
504
00:20:51,733 --> 00:20:53,013
And he would throw
chicken at you.
505
00:20:53,044 --> 00:20:55,504
Oh, what a great place
to take the family.
506
00:20:55,530 --> 00:20:57,670
It was so perfect
for families.
507
00:20:57,704 --> 00:20:59,504
- Yeah.
- It was perfect for families.
508
00:20:59,534 --> 00:21:01,124
My fa... My dad used
to bring me there.
509
00:21:01,156 --> 00:21:03,396
Yeah, it makes me
sad nowadays
510
00:21:03,434 --> 00:21:05,304
that there ain't a place
where you can skate
511
00:21:05,333 --> 00:21:06,643
and have people...
512
00:21:06,679 --> 00:21:07,849
...throw their chicken at you.
513
00:21:07,887 --> 00:21:08,917
[Rizzo]
'I'm getting all nostalgic.'
37274
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