All language subtitles for Schitts.Creek.S02E11.The.Motel.Guest.1080p.Amazon.WEB-DL.DD+2.0.x264-QOQ

Oh, there's a woman
in here

Who couldn't afford
a Persian rug,

so she painted one
on her tiled floor.

And the magazine is celebrating
her ingenuity!

Well, it sounds like
a creative solution.

A creative solution
would be a lobotomy

to make one forget
they like nice things.

It's all so bleak.

Goodnight, John.

- Sleep well, sweetheart.

* Don't cry out loud

* Just keep it inside

David, could you turn
that down, please?

As if you think
that's what I listen to!

David, Alexis,
turn the music down!

It's coming from
the other side!

- What?

* We almost had it all

*

* Don't cry out loud

Could you turn the music
down, please?!

* Just keep it inside

* And learn how to hide
your feelings *

Hello?!

We're trying to sleep in here!

Stop yelling!

I'm trying to turn
the music down!

Can you stop banging
on the wall?!

David, stop yelling
at your father!

Hello?!

Why is everybody
screaming?!

- Alexis, enough!

- The music's too loud!

Then get them
to turn it down!

Well, that's what
I'm trying to do!

*

- John.

John!

John, do you have any idea what
a terrible night's sleep

does to one's face?

- What, you couldn't sleep?

How could I sleep
with that noise?!

What noise?
They turned it off.

- No, you-you just fell asleep,

and stayed asleep with no
regard for my well being.

Now my eyes are puffy.
Are they puffy?

No, they look like they
usually look, Moira.

So now my eyes are usually
puffy!

- Oh Moira, they're fine!

These bags are like
gypsy caravans,

packed to the brim!

* Don't cry out loud

Oh my God, this can't be
happening.

All right, I'll take care
of it.

* Learn how to hide
your feelings *

* Fly high and proud

Could you turn
the music down, please?!

My wife hasn't slept all night!

- Oh! Hey, Johnny.

- Roland!
- Hey, uh...

Yeah.
- What are you doing here?

Well, we're doing some renos
on the uh, house,

so we're gonna shack up here
until they're all done.

Um honey, don't hog all
the hot water, okay?

Thank you.
- Jocelyn's here?

- Y-Yeah, no, Johnny's here.

Yeah, yes, I will say hi
to him for you.

Jocelyn says hi, John.

You didn't hear us
last night?

- Nope.
- Banging away?

Pal, whatever you
and the missus do after hours,

that's your business, not mine.

On the walls Roland,
with our fists!

And if you're into
that kind of stuff,

that doesn't bother me at all.

That is fine.
- All right, stop, stop!

- What? Oh!
- Stop it! What are you doing here?!

I told you, our basement
flooded.

- You said "renovations."

Yes...renovations,
because our basement flooded!

What? Yes, you're absolutely
right, honey,

it is time that we asked
Johnny to leave.

So Johnny, I think you should...

- Is Jocelyn really there?

Did you hear that, sweetheart?

He doesn't think
you're really here.

Would you please tell him?

Thank you! Satisfied?

- Jocelyn?
- Okay look, Johnny,

unless you have a warrant, okay?

Jocelyn and I are gonna be
shutting our door now.

- Jocelyn?
- Okay, that's fine.

So you think Jocelyn's
at the root of this?

Yeah well, I think obviously
they-they-they-

they had a fight, Moira.

You know, I just don't know
how she puts up with him.

- And now he's living next door.

I've never pretended
to like this motel,

but at least it provided
a buffer between us,

and those people!
- Yeah...

How long do you think
he'll be here?

- Well, I hate to think.

Oh God, this is the last
thing we need, John.

We're barely hanging on
as it is!

Well, what does
that mean, Moira?

"We're barely hanging on?!"

I mean living in a space
this limited,

is trying enough on a marriage

without having Roland
wallowing next door.

This is going to bring us
to a breaking point!

Oh Moira, it's not gonna
bring us to the breaking point.

I think we've done an amazing
job since we've been here.

I mean, I barely remember
an argument between us!

- That's my point.

In a room this tiny,
we've just got to ignore

the little irritants
of the other,

or you'd go insane!

- Little irritants? What uh...

What little irritants?
I have little irritants?

- Yes, we all do.

Peccadilloes, cloying habits.

- Like what, for instance?

- All right, John. I...

I drink a little too much
tea sometimes.

And that's it for you?
You uh...

You drink tea?

Well, it calms me,
so I suppose you would say

that's because I'm inclined
to get nervous or insecure.

No, I would say you're
sometimes a little defensive,

and uh, perhaps a tad paranoid.

That would only be after
you've taken that condescending

father tone with me.

- Father tone?
- There it is.

You think I have
a father tone?

John, I wish you could
hear yourself talk.

But of course you never do.

And that's the other thing
I guess,

I never listen to myself?

Look, it's by not engaging
in this kind of tit-for-tat

that we keep our marriage
afloat.

And you have no faults,
other than drinking tea?!

John, I just admitted that
I can get a little defensive.

But only when you act
like a big child!

- I act like a child?

Yes John, and now is not
the time for you to throw

one of your tantrums!

- Moira, of the two of us,

I'm not the one
who throws tantrums!

- I will not engage.

I do not want to see him
get the better of us.

And I'm sorry, obviously
this has worked you up

into some kind of...
fit of pique.

- Okay, you know what?

I need some air.

- That's another thing Mr. Rose,

you never finish your fights.

- Oh, this one's finished!

Stevie, you look like
you would know

about affordable housing.
Is this legit?

Uh... it's an ad
for an apartment.

I know, it's cute though,
right?

I wouldn't really describe
any apartment

as cute in this town.

- Hi...

- Um, hi.

There's a collection
of undershirts

hang drying outside of my room.

Um, is there any way
they could be removed,

or is there like,
a Texas Chainsaw movie

being filmed out there
that I'm not aware of?

Actually, Roland is staying
here for a few days.

- Ew.
- That's disgusting.

What's going on over here?
Let me see that.

What is this?

"Charming studio apartment
for rent in lower SC."

What's "lower SC?"

I thought this town
was just one long street.

I am thinking about
getting a place.

I have some money coming in,
and it's just...

It's not really a cute look
to be this age,

and live at home.
No offense, David.

Okay, it's not like I have
a lot of say in the matter.

Okay well, you're a full
grown man,

who's much older than me,
living at home.

So it's just a little bit
embarrassing.

- Hmm, "available immediately."

I wonder if you could
move out tonight?

Uh no, because I'm gonna be
using my half of the room

as a guest bedroom.

Ooh, better yet,
you could sublet it.

I'm sure there's plenty
of vagrants

looking for temporary housing.

Speaking of which, David,
I'm gonna need you to come

and look at the apartment
with me.

Okay, why would I do that?

Because David, as an
attractive, single female,

I don't feel comfortable
going to look

at an apartment by myself!

Well, what if the person
who's showing you the apartment

is like, a super cute
single real estate guy?

That person doesn't exist
in this town.

Okay, well, if that's
the case,

then David, you have
to come with me.

And if I like the place,

then you can have the whole
motel room to yourself, okay?

- Okay. She's nuts.

Um, if you could...

just figure out the undershirt
situation,

there's just so many of them,
and it's a lot for me.

- Bye!
- You know, for my eyes.

- Mhmm.

- Hey, Johnny.
- Oh, Jocelyn. Hi.

- How are you?
- Fine, thank you.

- Really?
- Yes.

I couldn't help but notice
that you seemed a little...

sad sack-y today.

- Sad sack-y?

the room next to us
at the motel.

I thought he might
end up there.

That's where we had
our honeymoon.

Had a lot of great times
in that room.

I don't think
this is one of them.

He was playing
"Don't Cry Out Loud"

loud at two in the morning.

I'm so sorry.

That's our wedding song.

It was actually the first song
that we ever made...

Okay, I really don't need
the details on that.

Listen, I would ask you
to sit, but I-I am not...

- Absolutely, yes!

- So...

you two are going through
a little bit of a thing?

- Yeah, we had a tiff, and uh,

I just said, I need some space.

Well, I'm glad you have
your space,

and I'm glad Roland
has his space,

I'll tell you who's now having
a major problem

with their space.
- Okay, Johnny.

Sometimes it's a lot easier
to blame others

than it is to maybe
kinda turn it inwards

on ourselves, isn't it?

- Meaning...

Well, it's kinda obvious
that you and Moira

are a little bit rocky
right now.

- No, no, things are not rocky.

Things are not rocky,
and if they are,

it's because your husband
is driving us insane!

So you're telling me that
there are no issues

between you two right now?

- No! No! No issues.

Well, by "issues,"
if you mean p-peccadilloes,

if you mean little irritants.
- Yeah.

- Maybe.

- Uh-huh.
- But uh no, we're...

- We're good.
- Good.

Right this way.

As you can see,
it's light and breezy.

And by breezy, I mean there's
a slight but steady draft

I'm told you only notice
in the winter.

- This is so cute for me.

Oh, and there's a lovely
window here

through which you can see
all of the town.

The cafe, the garage,

a tree of some kind
just uh, over there.

- This is cute, right?

I think this is super cute.

- Wait, is it cute?

Because I know that it's light,
and spacious,

and... airy in here,

but I just wasn't sure
if it was cute.

- Oh, it's cute.

- Are these original moldings?

- Yes, but we can rip those out.

Okay well, I'm the one that
should be asking the questions.

- Okay, be my guest.

- Okay, so...

When does um...

Is this a functioning
fireplace?

Yes, we found an incinerated
squirrel carcass

there last week.

- Ah.
- Um, what are you doing, David?

You wanted my help,
so I'm helping.

- Mm, okay.

- What's the rent?

Uh, they want $275,
but I think they're dreaming.

- A week?
- No, no, no, a month.

But again, I think we can
talk them down.

- Wait, $275 a month for this?

That's cheaper than my P.O. box
in New York.

- Do you think I should take it?

Well, I mean, it is-
it is very old.

I think that I would like
to see the lease agreement.

- I thought you'd never ask!

Oh, you know, it actually
kind of reminds me

of your old um...

office space that you had
in the West Village.

- Mhmm.
- Remember?

- Yep!
- So cute.

You know what I think
brought all this on?

That darn election!

It's really hard on couples.

I mean, don't get me wrong,

I really appreciate how
involved Roland wants to be

in my campaign,
it's just that sometimes,

he can be sooo...

- Irritating?
- No.

- Obnoxious?
- I was gonna say sensitive.

- Oh, sensitive.
- Especially when I want to do something on my own.

Ohhh! Do you really think
he's obnoxious and irritating?

No! No, no, no,
I was just trying to imagine

what you know, you were
feeling, no.

- Well, I feel frustrated a lot.

You know, you try to have a
rational conversation with him,

and he just gets all like,
stubborn and selfish.

And then he acts like you're
the one behaving like a child!

- Exactly!
- Right? Yeah, exactly.

Words get-get used,
and twisted around,

and yet, he uses that
against you.

- Yes, that is so Roland!

And you get the reputation
for being hot-headed,

and he gets to push
every button he can!

- You are so right!

You know, I thought that I
might be ready to forgive him,

but I think he needs
a couple more nights

at that motel.

- But, on the other hand...

maybe it's through
your forgiveness

that you teach him a lesson.

Right, and the sooner
you forgive him,

then the better it's gonna be
for-for you.

* Don't cry out loud

Roland!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah.

Oh! Moira, this isn't
a good time, um...

Jocelyn and I are about
to make brunch.

- You can give up the act.

You and I need to talk.

Close the door
honey, will you?

You're lettin' my flies out.

Ugh! It's time for you
to go home and apologize.

- Oh, okay.

I'll do that. Um...

Just one question.
Where's Johnny?

- I imagine he's at work.

Because he seemed pretty
angry this morning.

I don't know, maybe you need
to go home and apologize.

Sorry sweetheart, these walls
are pretty thin.

- Oh yes, I know.

The only reason John and I
had words

is because we were exhausted,

from being kept up all night!

It seems someone in the motel
was playing loud music

until 4 a.m.!

I'm sorry, are you
complaining about the quality

of the free lodging
that I arranged for you

this past year?

I think we're a very
courteous guest, Roland,

and have tried to contribute
to this town,

in whatever way we could.

This town, which is quite
frankly, woefully mismanaged.

- Oh, ugh, ew! I hate that!

Eww! That is just the kind of
arrogance that I can't stand!

You come in here, and think
you know everything!

Oooh! Ohhhh!

No, but I think if I was
in your position,

I would be open to new ideas.

Oh!

Right! Of course you would.
Sure.

- I would!
- Hah! Yeah.

Hello, everyone!

I'm Moira Rose,
and I know famous people,

so I really can't talk
to the common folk.

Excuse me all, coming through!

So I'm assuming this place
comes fully furnished?

No, this is all
completely staged.

Hmm, it must be very
expensive to furnish

a place like this.

Not really if you get it
second hand.

Or uh, maybe you get up early
on Tuesdays,

which is garbage day, and find
a discarded couch or sofa.

- Mhmm, um well, you know what,

I don't even really need
that much stuff.

I kinda like the minimalist
look anyway, so.

It's very quiet
in here, Ray,

it's like, alarmingly quiet.

The apartment was soundproofed
by the previous owner.

But the irony is the people
next door are completely deaf,

so you could literally
scream for hours,

and no one would hear you.

- Did you hear that?

You could scream for hours,
and no one would hear you.

Okay well, think about
how much fun that will be

for parties, David.

Um, and what about parking?

Okay, you don't even
have a car!

Oh my God, if you want
the place so badly, David,

why don't you just say it?!
- Who says I want it?

- So you don't want it?

- No.
- So if I said that I didn't want the place,

you wouldn't...
you wouldn't want it?

Okay, so you don't want
the place?

Okay, I'm just trying
to figure out

if you want the place!
- Oh, okay, okay.

I think I know what all
the hesitation is about.

Yes, someone did take their own
life in this space,

but the good news is,
we've replaced the ceiling fan,

it's now a break-away model.

And to answer your question,
yes, there is parking.

Uh, oh, and they also allow
cats.

Oh? Oh? You wanna drop
the gloves?

Let's drop the gloves, Roland.

You are an emotionally stunted,
self absorbed man-child.

You lord this counterfeit
power of yours

over others like
a schoolyard bully!

Okay, well you're a phony
baloney blowhard,

who's desperately scared
of being thought of

as a regular person!

- I used to be a regular person!

You're just a stuck up
pencil skirt with clown makeup,

and a janitor's mop
on your head!

You are an inexplicably
cocky imbecile!

Your marriage is as blighted
as this town,

and you have no one to blame
but yourself!

- Whoa...
- Oh.

- Well, hold on.
- I went too far.

- Yeah.
- Well...

- Well, I mean, come on.
- In the spirit of things.

Yeah but still,
that was kind of...

over the line.

- I like Jocelyn,

And I know you two have a very
special relationship.

Well, we- I mean,
we have our differences.

- Oh God, who doesn't?

I was-I was just riffing.

*

- John?

Oh sweetheart,
I didn't mean to wake you.

Don't hear any music next door.

No, I think he tuckered
himself out.

Oh, well, that's good,
that's good.

I suppose he just needed
to spout off for a while.

Yeah well, Jocelyn will be
glad to hear that.

She just came to pick him up.

- Really?
- Yeah.

I think she just needed
some alone time,

you know, to clear her head.

- That's understandable.

- Hmm.

It's unfortunate they can't
communicate

those needs to each other.

Yeah well, they don't have
what we have.

- I can't argue with that.

* Don't cry out loud

I thought you said Jocelyn
came back to make up!

- She did!

That happens to be
their wedding song.

Just admit that you wanted
the place.

- I was just asking questions

to help you make
the right decision.

Well, you're a terrible liar,
David.

It's a pretty good deal,
though.

Seriously though, would you
wanna live in a house

where someone killed
themselves?

- I can almost guarantee you

that someone's killed
themselves in this room.

- Ew, David!

- Okay, good night.
- Good night.

Ugh!

You know, sometimes at night,
I see things.

- Oh my God, David!

- Yeah, yeah. Like...

dark things.

Like sometimes there's this old
woman that paces back and forth

by your bed, waving her hands
over your face.

I don't think her bony fingers
ever touch your mouth, though.

Mom?

Do you ever wake up
with chapped lips?

- Dad!

- Dad's dead.

Ohh, you're such a dick,
David!

- Stop!