All language subtitles for Schitts.Creek.S01E13.Town.for.Sale.1080p.Amazon.WEB-DL.DD+5.1.x264-QOQ

We're getting out!

We're finally getting out!

Oh, my God.

I mean it!

Oh, my... Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Told you I'd sell this town.
Didn't I tell you?

Yes. Not to diminish
your accomplishment,

but you did say that
a handful of times.

I think eight, to be exact.

It bears repeating.

My little suity-cases! Oh!

David?
Should I take this with me?

If I'm being perfectly honest,

it's very low
on the totem pole

of coats of yours that I like.

It was a gift
from your father.

Hey, that's a good coat.

I outbid Richard Branson
for it

at the Kaminski auction.

I did get sick
of having hot coffee

and blood thrown at me.

You know who covets this coat?

Jocelyn.

I could bestow it upon her
as a parting gift.

We may want to put
pen to paper

before we start giving away
designer clothing, sweetheart.

It would be her
first piece of clothing

made outside
of mainland China.

I'm gonna do it.

Honestly, I cannot wait
to get to the beach.

What?

I'm going to St. Bart's
with Jenna, Leisha

and some other girl
with an "ah" name

that I can't quite remember.

Huh.

Why? What are you doing?

Well, I'm gonna go to New York
and, um, see some people.

Oh, what people?

You don't know them.
Just people.

I thought everyone
just kind of

dropped you like flies

when you couldn't
pick up the tab

at the Waverly anymore?

Well, that's absolutely
not true.

I just have a different

kind of relationship
with my friends

where we don't need
to be in constant

contact with each other.

Okay.

You should, um,

come to New York
after you're done.

And do what, eat a cronut
at a Brooklyn flea market?

Well, I was thinking,
maybe we could get a...

A two-bedroom apartment
in Manhattan

and not have to
live in Brooklyn.

Honestly, David,
and, like, no offense,

but when I get out of here,
I'm gonna get my own place

so I can pack how I wanna pack

and I don't have to be called
a circus freak all the time.

Ding-dong.

Moira, hey!

Hi, Jocelyn.

Gosh, you look
so glamorous today.

Oh, thank you.
Some days it just works.

Yeah.

So, I guess
you heard the news.

I heard there was someone
interested in buying...

- Yes, we're leaving.
- I didn't know

And since we're leaving...

Dear God, it feels good
to be saying that!

I would like
to give you this

as a little keepsake
to remember me by.

Wow.

Is it a wig?

No. It's a coat.

It's the coat.

What coat?

The coat you kept
going on about that one time.

Are you sure it was me?

Oh, it's absolutely
tragic, Jocelyn,

that I will never see
or speak to you ever again.

- Well...
- But I will have my memories

and you will have
this incredible coat.

Goodbye, dear friend.

Goodbye, Moira Rose.

Hey!
What're you doing here?

Um, can I...

Yeah, yeah, come on in.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Um...

So, big news.

We've sold the town.

Wow. Okay, and...

And we're leaving.

We're leaving?

Well, me and my family
are leaving.

Oh.

Yeah.

Oh.

Okay. Well,
in that case then, um,

here, there's something
that I need to show you.

Okay.

Uh...

Originally, we were gonna be

on an all-inclusive
vacation when I did this.

What's an all-inclusive
vacation?

Alexis Claire Rose,
will you marry me?

Um...

Yes!

If I was staying, then yes!

A thousand times yes!

And if things were different
and I wasn't leaving,

um, then definitely yes.

So, is that a no?

Yes.

Are you stealing
Roland's truck?

Yeah.
It's not exactly a Tesla,

but it'll get our bags
to the airport.

- So, you wanted to see me?
- Yeah.

I had an idea.

Uh-oh.

What if you came
with me to New York?

- What?
- Yeah.

Are you... Really?

- New York?
- Yeah.

I don't even know
what I would do there.

Oh, you just watch
a season of Girls

and do the opposite
of what they do.

It's easy.

You have this, like,
whole life there,

with all these fancy friends

who, in my head,
at least, all dress like you,

and I feel like
I'd get lost in the mix.

Mmm-hmm.

Well, all of my friends

will probably be away
for the summer

and I have found
a really beautiful

two-bedroom
in the East Village.

It's beautiful, so...

A two-bedroom.

Yeah. I mean, I was looking at
three bedrooms,

but do I really
need an office?

I don't know.

Yeah, right.

You're coming!
You're coming to New York.

Pack a bag.

Pack two bags.
How many bags do you have?

I'm saving you
from this dumpy town.

See you soon.

Oh, Twyla.

Oh, hey, Mr. Rose.

I heard you guys were leaving.

Yes, yes, we are,

and I just wanted
to thank you

for all the great service
over the past few months.

You're welcome.

Yeah, judging by your tips,
I was never really sure.

Oh.

I'll have a coffee
when you get a minute.

Johnny, I gotta talk to you.

Listen, uh...

I don't wanna piss
in your punch bowl, okay,

but, um, I got a bad feeling

about this buyer guy
of yours, Andy...

Roberts. Right, right.
Very successful.

His family made a fortune
in the shelving business.

Okay, fine. Um...

He called me
while he was bumping

uglies with his old lady.

Oh, no, really?

But that's not the problem.

The problem is he put me
on the speakerphone.

I mean, who would do
such a thing?

I mean, that's something
you would do.

As soon as he put me
on his speakerphone,

No, no. That's not
something I would do.

And I can't deal
with another you.

- But don't worry, 'cause...
- Well, I am worried!

It'll be fine. Roland.

This is the guy
who's gonna buy the town.

Just relax.

And here's the kicker,

the second one
was a hooker, too!

Yeah, yeah.
Okay, see ya. See ya.

Excuse me, honey,

do you know where
I can find Johnny Rose?

I got a meeting
with this freakin' douche.

The douchebag is right here.

So, you're leaving.

What'd Ted say about that?

Uh...

He proposed.

Really?

So, what'd you tell him?

I told him I was leaving.

But if you weren't,
you would?

Is this a Barbara Walters
special or something?

I'm leaving. That's it.

You don't seem
to be crying about it.

I think it's nice
you're going back

I'm not a dolphin, Mutt.

You know what I meant.

I'm happy for you.

Oh.

I'm glad
you're happy about it.

You know,
you should really work on

expanding your emotional range
at some point.

So, what you're saying

is he got a little
short with you?

You, uh, weren't quite
seeing eye to eye?

So, are we gonna
sign this puppy or what?

Oh, there's a good idea!

Andy, I've got the bill
of sale right here

and if you wanna
put your John Hancock

right there
on that first tab...

Hold on a second here.

- I think I got a better idea.
- What's that?

Why don't you come over
to the house tonight

and try some of Jocelyn's
famous mac and cheese?

We can sign this then.

Or we can sign it now

and then we can dive into
some mac and cheese.

- Right here, Andy.
- Ah, I love it.

You know, I could really use
a good home-cooked meal.

Well, right after we sign,
we can all have one.

And according to Roland here,
Jocelyn's hot stuff.

I can't leave town
without meeting her.

But then again,
if she's that hot,

what's she doing
with this guy?

I can't help it
if she's got taste!

Oh, yeah, right.

Yeah, taste. Yeah.

Ah.

Well, excuse you in that coat!

I know!
Jocelyn gave it to me.

What?

Knockoffs are getting
so good these days.

Thanks.
I can't wait till winter.

I'm gonna feel
like Patty LaBelle.

So, you did
good work, princess.

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

Perfect attendance,
nothing but glowing reviews.

And you must have done
some number on Mutt.

What do you mean?

His hours were up a month ago,
he kept coming anyway.

- What?
- Yeah, maybe

Or maybe he just likes
pretty girls in hippie hats.

Know what I mean, string bean?

That's a lot of bags.

There's still some space
for you, though,

so don't worry.

Yeah.

So, um, about New York.

It sounds amazing,
but I can't do it, so...

Why? What?

Uh, I don't think
we're on the same page

with what going
to New York means.

Okay. What does it mean?
Does it mean something?

I like you.

I don't want to like you,
but I do.

And so sharing
a space with you

as roommates
isn't gonna work for me.

Um...

So, I'm gonna take a pass,

but, um...

I'm sure you have
a lot of friends

who would love
to live with you.

Yeah, not as many
as you'd think, so...

Um... Okay.

Well, thank you
for being honest,

and I wish I could
fix this situation.

Um...

You've been a great friend.

You've been
my only friend, so...

Great, nevertheless.

Um...

You've made
my life here survivable.

"Survivable." Thank you.

That is the nicest thing
anyone has ever said to me.

So, now I'm gonna
go back to New York,

by myself, and, um,
you can just stay here then.

Yeah.

I think that's...
That's how it has to be.

Mmm-hmm.

Mmm-hmm.

Okay, bye.

Yeah, my granddad
opened our family's

in a small town
just like this one.

I tell you, this place
is bursting with opportunity.

Well, "bursting" seems
to be the operative word.

- Mmm.
- Whoa.

- So good!
- Slow down there, pal.

We got dinner coming
and a big dessert after.

- Oh. Oh.
- Sex in a pan.

Then we'll have dessert.

I love it!
This guy's a prince.

- He's a prince!
- So, did you try it on?

- What?
- The coat.

- The one I gave you.
- Yes. It's great.

- Not too snug?
- Nope. Buttoned right up.

It zips.

Zips. It zipped right up!

You didn't try it on, did you?

- No.
- Oh, why not?

It's a great coat.

At least let us see it on you.

I gave it away.

I'm sorry.

It just...

It didn't suit me,
and I thought about Ronnie

and you know
she could always use

some more feminine
pieces in her wardrobe

and so I took it over to her
and she really liked it,

so I paid it forward.

Well, Jocelyn,
there are certain things

that are just not done.

Smoking in a car with a baby,
unless you crack a window,

tipping before tax,

mixing drinks with cola,

and giving away a coat
that doesn't belong to you.

It's open.

Hey.

Um, I just came to say

that we'll be leaving
as soon as

the sale's signed, so...

- You must be super excited.
- Yeah.

Why did you do all that
extra community service, Mutt?

Extra community service?

Ronnie said that
your hours ended

a long time ago, so...

I like to stay active.

Really?

What do you want me to say?

Well, could it maybe be
because of the fact that you

enjoy my company?

Sure.

Don't you even care
that I'm leaving?

Of course I care.

- Then what're you doing?
- Why are you yelling?

Okay, I'm gonna ask
you one more time.

Mutt, why did you do that
extra community service?

You know why!

Why can't you just say it?

What a lovely surprise!

Come on in.
How are ya?

I'm just wondering
if my dad is here.

Yeah, your dad's here.

Uh, Johnny?
Your kid's here.

- Does he wanna come in?
- I don't think so.

He doesn't wanna
come in, okay.

David, what're you doing here?

I'm just wondering
when you think

we're gonna have
the check ready.

Well, this is not
the time for that, David.

Okay, well, you gave me
this town as a gift,

so I feel like I'm owed
a little bit more.

So, 50% for me, 50% for you.

David, I'm in the middle
of something important.

Well, if I'm gonna be
going to New York, by myself,

then I'm gonna need
a little bit more money.

Well, that's not gonna happen.

- Well, it has to.
- It's not gonna happen.

- Well, it has to.
- Talk to the hand, son,

because I've gotta
watch a pig eat.

What did David want?

As owner of the town,
he wants half.

- Everyone's so greedy.
- Hmm.

Well, let me take your plates.

There you go.

- Andy, you look a little dewy.
- Oh.

I'll get you
some fresh coffee.

Oh, good idea.

Is it just me,

or is it this dessert
that's making me horny?

- I think it's just you, Andy.
- Oh.

You know what?

I think I should let
you guys do the nasty.

And then sign the contract.

You! This guy! This guy!

Oh, he's a prince, isn't he?

Yeah, he's a prince. Yup.

Okay, well,

I think you are
getting a bargain...

- Really?
- ...with this, Andy.

And to make things easy,

I'm going to put
my signature down first.

How 'bout that?

$975,000! Wow.

That's a heck
of a lot of cheddar!

Don't you think so,
sweet cheeks?

"Sweet cheeks"?

Aren't you the old-fashioned
charmer.

Ooh.

Ready for
your signature, Andy.

Drum roll, please.

You know, Andy,
$975,000

suddenly seems like
such a girly number.

What are we doing, honey?

I mean a million.

That's bold, that's sexy.

That's quite the little lady
you have there.

You know, I think
the little lady's right.

What's an extra $25,000, Andy?

Come on, it's chump change.

It's cab fare.

$25,000?

For you? Come on.
You can cough it up.

All right, let's call it
a million! What the heck!

Yes! Yes!

There we go!

Just initial and sign
on the dotted line.

Sign on...
What's happening?

What? Oh, my God!
Andy! Andy!

We had him, we had him.

- We had...
- Okay, put the pen

- Ah!
- Sign! He was going to sign.

- Here we go, here we go.
- He was going to sign!

- You, sign!
- Andy?

He wanted to sign, Johnny.

- He wants the town.
- That's it, that's it.

Just on the line.

What is happening here?

What? What happened?
Oh, no! Andy! What happened?

Circulation, Johnny!

Circulation in his hand,
right over...

He can't even hold a pen,
the poor guy.

- Circulation, circulation.
- Over the line,

I'm gonna call an ambulance.

What? No! Wait!
No, no, no! No, not yet!

Look, he's looking
better already.

Wake up, Andy!

People do come out of comas.

Oh, I'd kill for
a good coma right now.

- Hey.
- Where were you?

I was out.
So, I'm gonna go keep packing.

Wait. John?

I don't have the heart.

The deal fell through, honey.

- So, when are we leaving?
- We're not leaving, Alexis.

We didn't sell.

We're not leaving?

Oh.

Are you going to be all right?

I'm pretty sure I'm engaged,

and I'm pretty sure
I just cheated on my fiance.

She'll be okay.

- Where's your brother?
- Who?

David.