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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,451 --> 00:00:09,987 This was a good choice. 2 00:00:10,355 --> 00:00:11,924 Yep. 3 00:00:11,957 --> 00:00:13,628 - We make good choices. - Mm-hmm. 4 00:00:13,661 --> 00:00:15,665 This was a really healthy choice. 5 00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:19,940 Well, I'm gonna go to work now. 6 00:00:19,973 --> 00:00:21,944 Okay. 7 00:00:21,977 --> 00:00:25,252 Which is where I should've been 8 00:00:25,285 --> 00:00:26,287 Mm-hmm. 9 00:00:27,856 --> 00:00:29,360 Stevie? 10 00:00:29,860 --> 00:00:31,029 Oh, Stevie! 11 00:00:33,668 --> 00:00:35,439 - What? - It's your dad. 12 00:00:35,472 --> 00:00:36,807 He saw me. 13 00:00:37,443 --> 00:00:38,545 Fuck! 14 00:00:38,578 --> 00:00:41,417 It's the towels again, we need towels! 15 00:00:41,451 --> 00:00:44,089 Your dad can't know about this. 16 00:00:45,359 --> 00:00:47,663 It's humiliating for me. 17 00:00:47,696 --> 00:00:51,103 Stevie, is this where you keep the towels? 18 00:00:51,504 --> 00:00:53,141 Okay. 19 00:00:53,175 --> 00:00:55,145 Here you go. 20 00:00:55,179 --> 00:00:57,916 Okay, this is a face cloth, and a bath mat. 21 00:00:58,518 --> 00:01:00,522 Oh! Uh... 22 00:01:00,555 --> 00:01:03,127 I will get you some towels and I will bring 23 00:01:03,161 --> 00:01:05,999 Oh, I'd love to take them with me, 24 00:01:06,032 --> 00:01:07,236 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 25 00:01:07,269 --> 00:01:08,971 I will deliver them to your room. 26 00:01:09,607 --> 00:01:10,609 Stevie. 27 00:01:11,277 --> 00:01:13,114 Is everything okay? 28 00:01:13,147 --> 00:01:15,919 - Stevie. - Yes, I'm just a little 29 00:01:15,952 --> 00:01:18,358 Is anyone in there? 30 00:01:18,391 --> 00:01:21,431 Are you in danger? Blink, if you're in danger. 31 00:01:21,464 --> 00:01:22,799 Stevie. 32 00:01:22,833 --> 00:01:25,205 That's really not necessary. 33 00:01:25,239 --> 00:01:28,578 Okay, well, I'm going back 34 00:01:28,611 --> 00:01:30,013 And I'm gonna call the police. 35 00:01:30,047 --> 00:01:31,817 No, Mr. Rose, please don't call the police. 36 00:01:31,851 --> 00:01:35,225 Dad, please, just take the towels and go! 37 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:40,602 Oh. 38 00:01:41,771 --> 00:01:43,308 Well, I, uh... 39 00:01:43,341 --> 00:01:45,512 I've got everything I need. 40 00:01:46,647 --> 00:01:48,451 Good seeing you both. 41 00:01:57,903 --> 00:02:00,475 Um, what happened with... 42 00:02:00,509 --> 00:02:01,977 Stop! 43 00:02:02,011 --> 00:02:03,748 - What... - You said... 44 00:02:03,781 --> 00:02:04,850 - Okay. What happened... - Something... 45 00:02:04,883 --> 00:02:06,387 You slept with Stevie. 46 00:02:06,421 --> 00:02:08,958 I... What, did Dad tell the whole motel? 47 00:02:08,991 --> 00:02:11,497 Well, no, but I heard through the wall, 48 00:02:11,531 --> 00:02:14,303 'cause he was doing his high-pitched voice. 49 00:02:14,337 --> 00:02:17,041 So, was it cute for you, or what? 50 00:02:17,074 --> 00:02:20,181 It was fine. It was... It was weird. It was good. 51 00:02:20,214 --> 00:02:21,283 - Love that. - It was good but weird. 52 00:02:21,317 --> 00:02:22,553 I love that! 53 00:02:22,586 --> 00:02:24,957 Um, okay, so I have to tell you this. 54 00:02:26,025 --> 00:02:29,467 Um, Ted wants to meet my friends, 55 00:02:29,500 --> 00:02:32,071 so I think it's getting kind of serious. 56 00:02:32,104 --> 00:02:33,307 It's been two weeks. 57 00:02:33,341 --> 00:02:35,311 I know. 58 00:02:35,345 --> 00:02:37,248 What's your point, David? 59 00:02:37,883 --> 00:02:39,920 Ugh! So, anyway, 60 00:02:39,953 --> 00:02:42,258 we're throwing a party at his place tonight, 61 00:02:42,292 --> 00:02:44,530 so I would say be there around, like, 7:00. 62 00:02:44,563 --> 00:02:47,001 That's presumptuous. What if I have plans? 63 00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:50,609 - That's so cute. Bring Stevie. - No, I'm not bringing Stevie. 64 00:02:50,642 --> 00:02:53,280 I'm gonna let the dust settle on that... 65 00:02:53,314 --> 00:02:55,752 Ted's already getting groceries, 66 00:02:55,785 --> 00:02:57,689 I already invited her. 67 00:02:57,723 --> 00:03:00,328 So, it's gonna be fun! David! It's gonna 68 00:03:00,361 --> 00:03:02,433 Children, children. 69 00:03:02,466 --> 00:03:04,670 Your father and I have something to discuss. 70 00:03:04,703 --> 00:03:05,972 I'm really busy right now, though. 71 00:03:06,005 --> 00:03:07,709 I can't right now, I don't have time. 72 00:03:07,743 --> 00:03:10,782 We understand you have found some local friends 73 00:03:10,815 --> 00:03:13,387 with whom to spend time with. 74 00:03:13,421 --> 00:03:15,559 - Oh, my God. - Okay, I can't deal 75 00:03:15,592 --> 00:03:17,729 - And that's fine! - But 76 00:03:17,763 --> 00:03:21,604 we do have to be careful with our hearts 77 00:03:21,637 --> 00:03:25,244 Because a podunk baby out of wedlock 78 00:03:25,278 --> 00:03:27,816 is not something your father and I can afford 79 00:03:27,849 --> 00:03:30,187 to negotiate at this moment. 80 00:03:30,221 --> 00:03:34,028 Well, that's crazy, because all I want 81 00:03:34,061 --> 00:03:35,932 is some podunk baby out of wedlock! 82 00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:37,335 So... 83 00:03:37,368 --> 00:03:39,205 Okay, hi. Hi. 84 00:03:39,239 --> 00:03:41,844 I don't wanna sound negative about this at all, 85 00:03:41,877 --> 00:03:45,251 but I think that you two really, actually 86 00:03:45,284 --> 00:03:46,887 the idea of, um, 87 00:03:47,689 --> 00:03:48,858 getting a life. 88 00:03:48,891 --> 00:03:51,964 Alexis, I would not concern yourself 89 00:03:51,997 --> 00:03:54,603 because we have a flourishing 90 00:03:54,637 --> 00:03:57,909 Uh, walking over to the cafe and ordering a tuna melt 91 00:03:57,943 --> 00:04:00,481 is hardly what I would call a "flourishing social life." 92 00:04:00,515 --> 00:04:02,653 Oh, that's funny. That's funny. 93 00:04:02,686 --> 00:04:06,460 You're just... It's just that you're so involved 94 00:04:06,493 --> 00:04:09,733 and that was fine when we were child actors 95 00:04:09,767 --> 00:04:11,904 But now David and I are grown-up adults, 96 00:04:11,937 --> 00:04:14,543 and we're just feeling very like, um... 97 00:04:14,577 --> 00:04:15,945 - Suffocated. - Suffocated. 98 00:04:15,979 --> 00:04:17,348 - Wait, stop! - Suffocated? 99 00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:19,251 - Yeah. - Stop! 100 00:04:19,286 --> 00:04:22,292 We came in here to speak about you two. 101 00:04:22,325 --> 00:04:24,529 What could you possibly have to say now? 102 00:04:27,869 --> 00:04:29,138 Well, now I don't remember. 103 00:04:29,171 --> 00:04:30,541 Yeah, I don't remember. 104 00:04:30,575 --> 00:04:32,846 Oh, my God! Thanks. 105 00:04:36,921 --> 00:04:38,791 You know, the more I think about it, 106 00:04:38,825 --> 00:04:41,363 the more I wonder whether David's whole 107 00:04:41,396 --> 00:04:44,336 sexually adventurous thing was just a phase. 108 00:04:44,369 --> 00:04:45,538 It's not a phase. 109 00:04:45,571 --> 00:04:48,477 Well, you know, he was very influenced 110 00:04:48,510 --> 00:04:49,747 all those haircuts. 111 00:04:49,780 --> 00:04:51,316 It's not a phase, John. 112 00:04:52,017 --> 00:04:53,153 The kids are right, 113 00:04:53,186 --> 00:04:56,192 we've been talking about them far more than I care to. 114 00:04:56,225 --> 00:04:58,631 Something about that top that just 115 00:04:58,665 --> 00:04:59,967 Hey, how you doing? 116 00:05:00,401 --> 00:05:01,403 Eh... 117 00:05:02,137 --> 00:05:04,743 - Jocelyn, hi! - Hi, Moira. 118 00:05:04,777 --> 00:05:05,979 Why don't you join us? 119 00:05:06,012 --> 00:05:07,214 Moira, what're you doing? 120 00:05:07,247 --> 00:05:09,486 Attempting to be social, support me. 121 00:05:09,519 --> 00:05:11,423 - Won't you, please? - Hey, sure! 122 00:05:11,456 --> 00:05:12,793 - Hi! - Of course. 123 00:05:13,494 --> 00:05:15,564 - Hello! - Well! 124 00:05:15,598 --> 00:05:17,134 - Hello. - Hello. 125 00:05:17,167 --> 00:05:19,973 - Good to see you! - Look at us, 126 00:05:20,007 --> 00:05:21,376 Uh-huh. Yes. 127 00:05:21,410 --> 00:05:24,148 Jonathan and I were just saying, 128 00:05:24,181 --> 00:05:26,754 wouldn't it be fun to have the mayor 129 00:05:26,787 --> 00:05:29,893 for cocktails and charades tonight! 130 00:05:29,927 --> 00:05:32,598 - Yes, tonight. - Oh, jeez. 131 00:05:32,632 --> 00:05:35,270 Yeah, no, unfortunately that's not gonna work for us. 132 00:05:35,303 --> 00:05:37,743 We're having a huge party tonight 133 00:05:37,776 --> 00:05:39,211 Ton of people coming to our house. 134 00:05:39,245 --> 00:05:41,282 - Whoo! - Ooh, yeah, big. 135 00:05:41,315 --> 00:05:44,321 But we're free any other night other than tonight. 136 00:05:58,149 --> 00:05:59,351 - Hey. - Um... 137 00:05:59,887 --> 00:06:01,189 So, um... 138 00:06:02,324 --> 00:06:04,529 So the other... So, last night... 139 00:06:04,562 --> 00:06:06,099 Um... 140 00:06:06,132 --> 00:06:07,869 - That was just a... - Was a one-time thing. 141 00:06:07,903 --> 00:06:09,773 That was a one time... 142 00:06:09,807 --> 00:06:10,975 Just a blip... 143 00:06:11,009 --> 00:06:13,179 Just a blip. Blop. Just a... 144 00:06:15,283 --> 00:06:18,690 Uh, my sister said that she, uh... 145 00:06:18,724 --> 00:06:20,127 Yes, she asked you to Ted's. 146 00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:21,663 - Yeah. - Yep. 147 00:06:22,031 --> 00:06:23,099 Um... 148 00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:24,536 Okay, well, I'm gonna leave from here. 149 00:06:24,569 --> 00:06:27,207 Should I just come by your place and get you 150 00:06:27,241 --> 00:06:28,911 Yeah. We can go together, 'cause that's... 151 00:06:28,945 --> 00:06:31,416 That's like a totally normal thing for us to do. 152 00:06:31,450 --> 00:06:34,689 - Why would it not be? - No, it's fine! I mean... 153 00:06:34,722 --> 00:06:36,593 So, um... 154 00:06:36,626 --> 00:06:37,662 So, cool. 155 00:06:37,695 --> 00:06:39,265 Yeah, no, this is a good thing. 156 00:06:39,298 --> 00:06:41,102 So I'll just, um... 157 00:06:41,135 --> 00:06:42,873 I'll see you when you swing by. 158 00:06:42,906 --> 00:06:44,141 - So... - Yeah, I'll be... 159 00:06:44,175 --> 00:06:47,014 Blippity blop. Blippity blip. 160 00:06:50,721 --> 00:06:52,357 You're quiet today. 161 00:06:53,460 --> 00:06:55,431 Am I? 162 00:06:55,464 --> 00:06:57,067 It's just that you're not talking, 163 00:06:57,101 --> 00:07:00,007 and it's annoying, because I'm bored. 164 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:03,213 Can't we just think and work, or do we always have to talk? 165 00:07:03,246 --> 00:07:06,753 Okay, you're being super sketchy and emo 166 00:07:06,786 --> 00:07:09,626 Have you ever been in a relationship where you 167 00:07:09,659 --> 00:07:11,931 - Yes. - With someone 168 00:07:11,964 --> 00:07:13,467 Oh, what? 169 00:07:14,268 --> 00:07:15,638 Oh. Um... 170 00:07:15,671 --> 00:07:17,608 You know that if it's in your dreams, 171 00:07:17,642 --> 00:07:20,648 or over the clothes, it's not cheating, right? 172 00:07:21,984 --> 00:07:24,188 Yeah, well, it's been happening a lot lately, 173 00:07:24,221 --> 00:07:26,392 and then I look over and I see Twyla, 174 00:07:26,425 --> 00:07:27,495 and I feel bad. 175 00:07:27,528 --> 00:07:29,832 Also, Ted is throwing a party tonight, 176 00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:33,507 maybe that's something exciting for you two 177 00:07:35,077 --> 00:07:37,582 That's probably not such a good idea. 178 00:07:41,590 --> 00:07:43,226 Mmm. 179 00:07:43,259 --> 00:07:45,030 Oh. Oh! Oh. 180 00:07:49,038 --> 00:07:53,379 I'm sorry, what kind of event are you hosting this evening? 181 00:07:53,413 --> 00:07:54,816 Event. 182 00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:58,223 Oh, it's more of a soiree. 183 00:07:58,256 --> 00:08:01,796 He's just teasing, it's our annual 184 00:08:01,830 --> 00:08:05,203 Pineapples, pig on the spit, the whole nine yards. 185 00:08:05,237 --> 00:08:07,407 Oh, you, uh, roast pigs? 186 00:08:07,441 --> 00:08:08,577 - We do! - Sure do. 187 00:08:08,610 --> 00:08:12,117 We have a big one hanging in the garage. 188 00:08:12,151 --> 00:08:14,622 Wow, it sounds like, uh... 189 00:08:14,656 --> 00:08:16,660 Quite the evening. 190 00:08:16,693 --> 00:08:20,200 So whose pig do we have to slaughter 191 00:08:21,302 --> 00:08:23,974 Oh, my goodness, well, um, 192 00:08:24,007 --> 00:08:28,650 we just didn't think that you and Johnny 193 00:08:28,684 --> 00:08:30,721 Well, that's a touch presumptuous, Jocelyn. 194 00:08:30,754 --> 00:08:32,758 Why would we not want to be involved 195 00:08:32,792 --> 00:08:35,197 in a themed party in your yard? 196 00:08:35,531 --> 00:08:36,733 Right. 197 00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:41,142 Well, I mean, for one thing, you know, the two 198 00:08:42,111 --> 00:08:43,146 A little what? 199 00:08:45,851 --> 00:08:48,256 Hoity-toity. All right, I've said it. 200 00:08:48,289 --> 00:08:52,565 We didn't think that you'd wanna hang out 201 00:08:52,598 --> 00:08:54,636 Right. 202 00:08:54,669 --> 00:08:59,712 Regular people are how Rose Video became such a... 203 00:08:59,746 --> 00:09:01,583 Right, ca-careful, Moira. 204 00:09:01,616 --> 00:09:04,856 Regular people! I mean, they made us 205 00:09:04,889 --> 00:09:07,361 - What am I trying to say? - We love regular people. 206 00:09:07,394 --> 00:09:09,231 We love regular people. 207 00:09:09,265 --> 00:09:12,738 Well, by all means then, the two of you are invited. 208 00:09:13,574 --> 00:09:14,909 Thank you. 209 00:09:19,285 --> 00:09:21,723 So, just to be clear, 210 00:09:21,756 --> 00:09:24,328 um, I'm a red wine drinker. 211 00:09:24,361 --> 00:09:26,098 - That's fine. - Okay, cool. 212 00:09:26,131 --> 00:09:28,904 But, uh, I only drink red wine. 213 00:09:29,338 --> 00:09:30,340 Okay. 214 00:09:31,108 --> 00:09:32,945 And up until last night, 215 00:09:32,978 --> 00:09:35,851 I was under the impression that 216 00:09:35,884 --> 00:09:38,724 you too only drank red wine. 217 00:09:39,659 --> 00:09:41,295 But I guess I was wrong? 218 00:09:41,329 --> 00:09:42,998 I see where you're going with this. 219 00:09:43,032 --> 00:09:44,602 Um... 220 00:09:44,636 --> 00:09:46,472 I do drink red wine. 221 00:09:47,708 --> 00:09:49,511 But I also drink white wine. 222 00:09:51,114 --> 00:09:54,588 - Oh. - And I've been known 223 00:09:54,622 --> 00:09:57,461 And a couple summers back I tried a Merlot, 224 00:09:57,494 --> 00:09:59,030 that used to be a Chardonnay. 225 00:09:59,064 --> 00:10:00,668 - Which got a bit complicated. - Oh. Okay. 226 00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:02,938 Yeah, so, you're just really open to all wines. 227 00:10:02,972 --> 00:10:05,878 I like the wine and not the label. 228 00:10:05,911 --> 00:10:07,915 - Yes, that does. - Okay. 229 00:10:07,948 --> 00:10:10,387 Um, this is just very new to me, 230 00:10:10,420 --> 00:10:12,424 so as long as you didn't roll over 231 00:10:12,457 --> 00:10:15,964 and cry yourself to sleep with regret, 232 00:10:15,998 --> 00:10:17,501 No, no, no, I absolutely did that. 233 00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:19,772 Just wept for hours in the dark. 234 00:10:19,806 --> 00:10:21,743 I say we go with this one, it's the biggest. 235 00:10:23,279 --> 00:10:25,383 Wow, Ted, the place is very 236 00:10:26,352 --> 00:10:27,722 new looking. 237 00:10:27,755 --> 00:10:29,859 Did you design the interior? 238 00:10:29,892 --> 00:10:31,963 Oh, I wish. 239 00:10:31,996 --> 00:10:34,736 No, I found this website online that sells off 240 00:10:34,769 --> 00:10:36,773 old department store show rooms. 241 00:10:36,806 --> 00:10:38,877 So this whole room... 242 00:10:38,910 --> 00:10:40,848 Just gets delivered, as is. 243 00:10:40,881 --> 00:10:42,752 This is the "bachelor's den" here, 244 00:10:42,785 --> 00:10:46,960 and then that's the "executive dining lounge" 245 00:10:47,662 --> 00:10:49,230 - Hmm. - Wow! 246 00:10:49,264 --> 00:10:50,968 - Yeah. - Wow. 247 00:10:55,009 --> 00:10:58,449 So are we the only ones showing up to this party? 248 00:10:58,483 --> 00:11:00,520 No, we're still waiting for Mutt and Twyla. 249 00:11:00,553 --> 00:11:02,958 Oh, I should take the rolls out of the microwave. 250 00:11:02,992 --> 00:11:04,595 Hot rolls! 251 00:11:04,628 --> 00:11:07,802 Alexis had just said that this was a "party" party. 252 00:11:07,835 --> 00:11:09,772 Ah, well, you must've been misinformed then, David. 253 00:11:09,806 --> 00:11:12,644 No, it's a dinner party. I wanted to get to know 254 00:11:12,678 --> 00:11:15,182 so I figured we'd invite a few couples over, huh, 255 00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:17,353 have some dinner, play some games? 256 00:11:23,533 --> 00:11:25,202 You guys showed! 257 00:11:25,236 --> 00:11:26,539 Yeah, why wouldn't we show? 258 00:11:26,572 --> 00:11:30,179 Twyla, I love your outfit, you look like 259 00:11:31,415 --> 00:11:34,822 - Hi. - So, where is everybody? 260 00:11:34,856 --> 00:11:38,195 It is. It's an exclusive little party. 261 00:11:43,740 --> 00:11:46,011 Hey, who turned off Don Ho? 262 00:11:46,044 --> 00:11:47,313 - Hey. - Oh! 263 00:11:47,346 --> 00:11:49,317 - Aloha, Roses! - Well, look who it is. 264 00:11:49,350 --> 00:11:51,489 It's the Schitts! 265 00:11:51,522 --> 00:11:52,958 Yeah, there you go. 266 00:11:52,992 --> 00:11:54,027 - Jocelyn. - Moira. 267 00:11:54,060 --> 00:11:55,597 Ooh, Johnny! 268 00:11:55,630 --> 00:11:57,601 - Whoo! - I gotta tell you, that suit, 269 00:11:57,634 --> 00:12:00,039 that's pretty dangerous to wear 270 00:12:00,072 --> 00:12:02,210 I just wanna wipe my hands all over that! 271 00:12:02,243 --> 00:12:03,747 Oh! 272 00:12:03,780 --> 00:12:05,149 You just keep getting funnier. 273 00:12:05,182 --> 00:12:07,186 I'm not joking though, I really do. 274 00:12:07,220 --> 00:12:10,493 Moira, I have to ask you. Are those wigs real hair? 275 00:12:10,527 --> 00:12:12,497 I just wanna reach out and just touch them... 276 00:12:12,531 --> 00:12:14,836 No, Maureen does not like to be manhandled! 277 00:12:14,869 --> 00:12:16,672 - Sorry, sorry. - Hey, Roses. 278 00:12:16,705 --> 00:12:18,509 If I tell you a secret, you promise to keep it? 279 00:12:18,543 --> 00:12:20,446 Uh, no, I don't think we would. 280 00:12:21,549 --> 00:12:23,352 Johnny. 281 00:12:26,893 --> 00:12:30,432 Now, listen. I'm the guy in charge of upholding 282 00:12:30,466 --> 00:12:32,905 so if you have any ideas about turning me in, 283 00:12:32,938 --> 00:12:35,209 you'd just be turning me in to myself. 284 00:12:37,446 --> 00:12:39,317 Spark it up, Roley! Spark it up. 285 00:12:39,350 --> 00:12:40,854 - You got it, honey. - Listen, I don't know 286 00:12:40,888 --> 00:12:43,092 if you guys wanna partake in this, 287 00:12:43,125 --> 00:12:45,296 because I'm sure your fancy dinner parties 288 00:12:45,329 --> 00:12:48,468 didn't have illegal substances. 289 00:12:48,502 --> 00:12:50,640 Illegal substances. 290 00:12:50,673 --> 00:12:52,376 Amateurs. 291 00:12:52,410 --> 00:12:54,916 We had friends in the FDA, but... 292 00:12:54,949 --> 00:12:56,051 When in Rome... 293 00:12:56,084 --> 00:12:58,288 Well, damn, Roses! 294 00:12:58,322 --> 00:12:59,926 - Let this party begin. - Mm-hmm. 295 00:12:59,959 --> 00:13:01,996 I'll fire up the cheese fountain. 296 00:13:14,054 --> 00:13:15,657 Oh! 297 00:13:17,962 --> 00:13:19,197 No, thank you. 298 00:13:19,899 --> 00:13:22,236 So, Mutt, did, uh, 299 00:13:22,270 --> 00:13:25,476 you two criminals do any good for 300 00:13:25,509 --> 00:13:26,645 We washed a car. 301 00:13:26,679 --> 00:13:27,882 You washed a car. Wow. 302 00:13:27,915 --> 00:13:30,186 The judicial system is really cracking down 303 00:13:30,219 --> 00:13:31,990 on its delinquents these days, huh? 304 00:13:32,023 --> 00:13:33,292 You know what I always wondered? 305 00:13:33,325 --> 00:13:35,998 What do you two talk about all day out there? 306 00:13:38,202 --> 00:13:39,404 Nothing. 307 00:13:40,740 --> 00:13:44,447 I mean, we talk, but... We don't really talk about 308 00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:47,486 So, like, what? 309 00:13:48,723 --> 00:13:49,725 Like, nothing. 310 00:13:50,994 --> 00:13:52,764 Okay, um... 311 00:13:52,797 --> 00:13:57,506 Like, Mutt was having a bad day today, 312 00:13:57,540 --> 00:13:59,979 You didn't tell me you were having a bad day. 313 00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:03,854 Ted, this is delicious. 314 00:14:03,887 --> 00:14:05,056 - Mm-hmm. - Oh. 315 00:14:05,089 --> 00:14:08,628 I didn't mean a bad day, Twy, I just meant, like, 316 00:14:08,662 --> 00:14:11,601 Thank you, Stevie. I ordered it online 317 00:14:11,634 --> 00:14:14,007 - No sales tax. - What were 318 00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:15,109 It's nothing. 319 00:14:15,142 --> 00:14:17,446 So when the lasagna gets delivered... 320 00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:20,552 Does it come, uh, 321 00:14:20,586 --> 00:14:22,390 Okay, I just, uh... 322 00:14:22,423 --> 00:14:25,529 I don't know why you didn't feel comfortable 323 00:14:25,562 --> 00:14:27,033 It's not important. 324 00:14:27,066 --> 00:14:29,104 That's why I was talking to Alexis about it. 325 00:14:29,137 --> 00:14:33,512 - Ouch. - Stevie, how long have 326 00:14:33,545 --> 00:14:35,316 - It's very fresh and new. - No, it's not. 327 00:14:35,349 --> 00:14:37,053 - It is, I would say. - Mm-mmm. 328 00:14:38,355 --> 00:14:40,259 So, everyone knows? 329 00:14:41,194 --> 00:14:44,634 - Knows what? - Uh, these two have... 330 00:14:44,667 --> 00:14:47,040 What an elegant gesture, Ted. 331 00:14:47,073 --> 00:14:49,744 Sorry, I thought everyone knew. 332 00:14:50,546 --> 00:14:52,183 - No. - It's okay. 333 00:14:54,154 --> 00:14:55,289 Sorry! 334 00:15:02,236 --> 00:15:04,240 I've been with these people before. 335 00:15:04,875 --> 00:15:06,678 I know them all. 336 00:15:06,711 --> 00:15:09,417 Wow, you've really been getting around town. 337 00:15:10,419 --> 00:15:13,960 No, I was with them in my other life. 338 00:15:14,996 --> 00:15:17,100 I'm gonna tell you something. 339 00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:20,139 I'm from a small town, just like this. 340 00:15:20,941 --> 00:15:23,678 No, I'm not buying that. 341 00:15:23,712 --> 00:15:26,118 - It's true. - Really? 342 00:15:26,751 --> 00:15:28,222 Why would you leave? 343 00:15:28,255 --> 00:15:31,028 Oh, God, I couldn't wait to get out. 344 00:15:31,628 --> 00:15:33,765 I was dying there. 345 00:15:33,798 --> 00:15:35,971 Have you never dreamed? 346 00:15:36,004 --> 00:15:38,608 Of a life beyond? 347 00:15:38,642 --> 00:15:41,181 You have "what ifs," like, what if... 348 00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:43,818 I had enlisted in the military, 349 00:15:43,852 --> 00:15:46,624 what if Roland hadn't been such a smooth talker, what... 350 00:15:46,658 --> 00:15:49,164 Oh, man, what if. 351 00:15:49,197 --> 00:15:53,572 What if I had not been crowned 352 00:15:53,605 --> 00:15:56,678 and moved to the city with my driving instructor? 353 00:15:56,711 --> 00:15:59,150 - Awesome. - And what if I had not 354 00:15:59,184 --> 00:16:03,125 hand modeled at that microwave trade show? 355 00:16:03,158 --> 00:16:05,496 - Yeah. - What if I didn't ask, 356 00:16:05,529 --> 00:16:08,535 "Who's the eyebrows buying everyone's drinks?" 357 00:16:09,704 --> 00:16:11,641 Wow, now you know. 358 00:16:12,410 --> 00:16:14,480 Whatever happened to privacy? 359 00:16:14,514 --> 00:16:16,986 Now your whole family thinks I'm this big hooker. 360 00:16:17,020 --> 00:16:20,026 My whole family does not think 361 00:16:20,759 --> 00:16:22,796 It was a funny one-night thing. 362 00:16:22,830 --> 00:16:24,467 Everyone here is fine with it. 363 00:16:24,500 --> 00:16:25,536 It was funny? 364 00:16:27,006 --> 00:16:29,277 Yeah, it was a... It was a fun... 365 00:16:29,310 --> 00:16:31,648 It was a funny... It was... Yes. 366 00:16:31,681 --> 00:16:34,954 I had a best friend that hooked. She married one 367 00:16:34,987 --> 00:16:36,091 Wow! So cool. 368 00:16:36,124 --> 00:16:37,693 - Mmm. - It's not the time, Twyla. 369 00:16:37,726 --> 00:16:40,499 Um, Stevie, I don't think you're a big hooker. 370 00:16:40,532 --> 00:16:41,768 You don't talk all dinner, 371 00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:44,006 and now you're telling me I can't talk about Trixie? 372 00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:45,376 I'm sorry, it's just I think 373 00:16:45,409 --> 00:16:48,248 sometimes you have a tendency to say 374 00:16:48,282 --> 00:16:51,088 Is there a right time to talk about being a hooker? 375 00:16:51,121 --> 00:16:53,958 I bet nobody thought sex with Trixie was funny. 376 00:16:53,992 --> 00:16:55,262 I never said it was bad! 377 00:16:55,296 --> 00:16:58,368 Okay, you know what I think is happening, 378 00:16:58,402 --> 00:17:01,108 is things are just getting blown 379 00:17:01,141 --> 00:17:05,549 And honestly, if, Alexis, you just tell us what you 380 00:17:05,582 --> 00:17:07,353 it'd probably help. 381 00:17:07,386 --> 00:17:09,524 Oh, my God, Ted! 382 00:17:09,557 --> 00:17:12,263 We were washing a car and talking about bad dreams. 383 00:17:12,296 --> 00:17:14,334 - Okay? - Okay. 384 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:15,869 You sound a little defensive. 385 00:17:15,902 --> 00:17:17,273 - Well... - I'd agree. 386 00:17:17,306 --> 00:17:18,775 You know what, I just remembered, 387 00:17:18,808 --> 00:17:21,981 I have to wake up early tomorrow. 388 00:17:22,014 --> 00:17:23,818 Uh, nobody checks-in. 389 00:17:24,620 --> 00:17:27,059 Tomorrow someone is, early. 390 00:17:27,092 --> 00:17:30,799 Uh, Ted, you have a really special place, 391 00:17:30,832 --> 00:17:33,772 and we should all do this again sometime. 392 00:17:33,805 --> 00:17:35,876 Uh, David, would you mind walking me home. 393 00:17:35,909 --> 00:17:37,480 I don't think we're finished talking. 394 00:17:37,513 --> 00:17:39,015 David. 395 00:17:39,350 --> 00:17:40,486 Don't. 396 00:17:43,592 --> 00:17:48,202 My son lives in a barn in the woods, by choice. 397 00:17:49,904 --> 00:17:53,578 He could be the next mayor of this town 398 00:17:54,547 --> 00:17:57,453 My son is pansexual. 399 00:17:58,722 --> 00:17:59,757 Mm-hmm. 400 00:17:59,790 --> 00:18:01,561 I've heard of that. 401 00:18:01,594 --> 00:18:04,200 I know what that is, that's, uh, 402 00:18:04,234 --> 00:18:05,836 that cookware fetish. 403 00:18:05,869 --> 00:18:06,938 No. 404 00:18:06,971 --> 00:18:08,808 - No, no. - Mmm-hmm. 405 00:18:08,842 --> 00:18:10,712 No, he loves everyone. 406 00:18:10,746 --> 00:18:12,416 Men, women, 407 00:18:12,450 --> 00:18:16,424 women who become men, men who become women. 408 00:18:16,458 --> 00:18:20,599 I'm his father, and I always wanted 409 00:18:20,632 --> 00:18:25,141 But, you know, just pick one gender, 410 00:18:25,175 --> 00:18:27,480 Maybe everything would've been less... 411 00:18:27,513 --> 00:18:28,648 Confusing. 412 00:18:30,486 --> 00:18:34,727 Well, you know, Johnny, when it comes to 413 00:18:36,197 --> 00:18:38,502 we can't tell our kids who to love. 414 00:18:40,572 --> 00:18:42,310 - Who said that? - You did. 415 00:18:43,076 --> 00:18:44,179 When? 416 00:18:44,213 --> 00:18:45,482 You just said it now! 417 00:18:45,516 --> 00:18:46,951 When? 418 00:18:46,984 --> 00:18:48,922 Now, right this second. You just said it. 419 00:18:48,955 --> 00:18:52,596 And you're right. You can't tell them. 420 00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:57,906 Thank you for playing along. 421 00:18:57,940 --> 00:18:59,977 I'm sorry, I just had 422 00:19:00,010 --> 00:19:02,650 It was like being in an episode of Couples Therapy. 423 00:19:02,683 --> 00:19:04,153 Okay, wait. 424 00:19:04,186 --> 00:19:07,526 This was all a put-on just to get out of dinner? 425 00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:09,797 Yeah, I thought you were in on it. 426 00:19:10,732 --> 00:19:14,507 Well, you deserve a Daytime Emmy 427 00:19:14,540 --> 00:19:16,611 Thank you, I think so. 428 00:19:16,644 --> 00:19:19,850 Okay, so you're not, like, raging mad at me, then. 429 00:19:20,218 --> 00:19:21,454 No. 430 00:19:21,488 --> 00:19:25,429 I think it's fair to say that neither of us have ever worked 431 00:19:25,462 --> 00:19:27,232 - True. - It was funny. 432 00:19:28,066 --> 00:19:30,104 And a little humiliating. 433 00:19:30,137 --> 00:19:31,641 Yeah, I, uh... 434 00:19:32,443 --> 00:19:34,514 Saw a lot of my body. 435 00:19:34,547 --> 00:19:36,818 I didn't like it. So... 436 00:19:36,851 --> 00:19:38,321 I'm actually that way. 437 00:19:39,289 --> 00:19:42,896 Okay, yeah, I was, um, wondering if 438 00:19:43,998 --> 00:19:46,203 Try it again, for the sake of practice? 439 00:19:46,237 --> 00:19:47,806 I'd be into that idea. 440 00:19:48,542 --> 00:19:50,512 For the sake of proficiency. 441 00:19:56,223 --> 00:19:58,327 So I guess we won't be playing Hedbanz. 442 00:20:02,436 --> 00:20:04,574 Oh! Why did he say that? 443 00:20:04,607 --> 00:20:05,642 Oh, my God. 444 00:20:05,676 --> 00:20:07,446 What the hell... 445 00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:09,082 - Just don't... Just stay here. - What? 446 00:20:09,115 --> 00:20:11,420 Oh, hello again! 447 00:20:11,454 --> 00:20:12,923 Spending another night together? 448 00:20:12,956 --> 00:20:14,125 Dad! 449 00:20:14,158 --> 00:20:17,466 Oh, Stevie, I hope you're being smart. 450 00:20:17,500 --> 00:20:18,935 - Oh, my God! - Oh, my God! 451 00:20:18,968 --> 00:20:21,708 Because we can't afford a baby right now, 452 00:20:21,741 --> 00:20:24,446 and let's be honest, neither can you! 453 00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:28,053 Okay, well, I think it's about time 454 00:20:28,086 --> 00:20:29,490 - Excuse me! - Uh, David, 455 00:20:29,524 --> 00:20:32,128 I just want you to know that I support this. 456 00:20:32,161 --> 00:20:36,036 Not the fact that you're sleeping with a girl, 457 00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:37,873 But, you know, I'd be just as happy 458 00:20:37,906 --> 00:20:40,979 if you were to bring home one of your guy friends. 459 00:20:41,012 --> 00:20:42,449 What are you talking about? 460 00:20:42,482 --> 00:20:46,524 Um, excuse me while I just go draw a warm bath 461 00:20:46,558 --> 00:20:48,060 No, Stevie. Stevie. 462 00:20:49,095 --> 00:20:51,433 You're a lovely girl, lovely girl. 463 00:20:51,467 --> 00:20:54,774 Bit of an edge, but you know, it's growing on me. 464 00:20:54,807 --> 00:20:56,978 And David, I just want you to know 465 00:20:57,011 --> 00:21:00,652 that I endorse all your sexual encounters. 466 00:21:01,219 --> 00:21:02,489 Are you drunk? 467 00:21:02,522 --> 00:21:04,727 Grass, too much grass. 468 00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:07,299 - A little bit, but... - What the... 469 00:21:07,332 --> 00:21:10,505 Hey, track that cycle, missy! 470 00:21:10,538 --> 00:21:12,542 Okay, good night! 471 00:21:12,576 --> 00:21:14,580 Hey, good night! 472 00:21:14,614 --> 00:21:15,882 Good night.32951

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