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1
00:00:09,661 --> 00:00:11,750
All right!
2
00:00:11,794 --> 00:00:14,405
Oh, yeah, there she is.
3
00:00:14,449 --> 00:00:16,712
Look at you looking
just like me--
4
00:00:16,755 --> 00:00:19,280
strong, dark and smokin' hot.
5
00:00:20,759 --> 00:00:22,457
So what do you say, girl?
6
00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:26,069
You ready to bring a little
flavor to the neighborhood?
7
00:00:26,113 --> 00:00:28,637
Well, uh, I was just
going for a jog, but sure.
8
00:00:30,943 --> 00:00:32,858
I was talking
to my smoker, Dave.
9
00:00:32,902 --> 00:00:35,165
Getting ready
for the Yardecue this weekend.Oh, yeah.
10
00:00:35,209 --> 00:00:37,950
That's right. Your last Yardecue
was the day we moved in.
11
00:00:37,994 --> 00:00:40,475
Can you believe that we've
been neighbors for a year?
12
00:00:40,518 --> 00:00:44,044
I know. It feels like
so much longer, right?
13
00:00:45,828 --> 00:00:48,048
So, what can
I do to help?
14
00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:52,661
Uh, you can start
by wearing longer shorts.
15
00:00:54,663 --> 00:00:57,622
The only sausage I want to see
around here is on my grill.
16
00:00:58,710 --> 00:01:00,451
Look,
17
00:01:00,495 --> 00:01:03,367
besides, Dave,
I'm the big dog around here.
18
00:01:03,411 --> 00:01:05,369
It's my neighborhood,
my Yardecue.
19
00:01:05,413 --> 00:01:08,981
So...
Yeah, well, now that
I've been here a year,
20
00:01:09,025 --> 00:01:10,853
isn't it ourneighborhood?
21
00:01:10,896 --> 00:01:12,420
Couldn't it be ourYardecue?
22
00:01:12,463 --> 00:01:14,726
Or dare I say, Our-decue?
23
00:01:14,770 --> 00:01:16,772
[laughs]
24
00:01:16,815 --> 00:01:18,774
That's... that's funny, man.
25
00:01:18,817 --> 00:01:20,341
No.
26
00:01:21,342 --> 00:01:22,734
Well, hold on.
Calvin, come on.
27
00:01:22,778 --> 00:01:25,128
I really want
to be a part of it.[scoffs]
28
00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:26,608
All right, fine.
What do you want to do?
29
00:01:26,651 --> 00:01:28,827
Well, you know,
I don't mean to brag,
30
00:01:28,871 --> 00:01:30,351
but back home in Kalamazoo,
31
00:01:30,394 --> 00:01:33,310
I was kind of known
for my barbecue. [laughs]
32
00:01:33,354 --> 00:01:36,270
We called it "Kalama-Q."
33
00:01:37,140 --> 00:01:38,707
Yeah, you're on napkins.
34
00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:42,624
Come on. An-Any chump could
bring a bag of napkins.
35
00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:44,060
You said it, I didn't.
36
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:47,977
Well, at least put me
in charge of desserts or drinks,
37
00:01:48,020 --> 00:01:50,632
or what about music?
38
00:01:50,675 --> 00:01:52,634
Okay. Okay, fine.
39
00:01:52,677 --> 00:01:54,157
May-Maybe not music,
40
00:01:54,201 --> 00:01:56,638
but putting me
on napkin duty feels like--
41
00:01:56,681 --> 00:01:58,988
I don't know--
a waste of my talents.
42
00:01:59,031 --> 00:02:01,164
Okay, well, uh,
43
00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:02,557
you want to do plates, too?
44
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:03,862
All right, plates.
45
00:02:03,906 --> 00:02:05,516
Got my foot in the door.
46
00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:06,778
[laughs]
47
00:02:06,822 --> 00:02:09,520
Great. Now go put your foot
in some pants!
48
00:02:10,478 --> 00:02:12,436
♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
49
00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,003
♪ Welcome to the hood.
50
00:02:18,703 --> 00:02:20,227
Hey, Ma.Hi, Mama.
51
00:02:20,270 --> 00:02:22,490
Hey, boys. How was work?Oh, it was great!
52
00:02:22,533 --> 00:02:24,013
One of our satellites
discovered water...
53
00:02:24,056 --> 00:02:25,449
Not you, Marty.
I meant Malcolm.
54
00:02:28,191 --> 00:02:29,584
Oh, it was kind of cool, Ma.
55
00:02:29,627 --> 00:02:31,107
I like being
a security guard.
56
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:32,456
Today, I got
to handcuff somebody
57
00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:34,415
who tried to sneak in
without their ID badge.
58
00:02:34,458 --> 00:02:37,418
Ooh.Hey, man, I told you,
I left it in the car!
59
00:02:39,333 --> 00:02:42,249
Well, how was I supposed to know
you was telling the truth?
60
00:02:43,206 --> 00:02:44,686
You saw it in
the cupholder
61
00:02:44,729 --> 00:02:46,209
when I drove you to work.
62
00:02:46,253 --> 00:02:47,776
[laughs]
63
00:02:47,819 --> 00:02:50,474
You know what? Thank you for
getting me the job, little bro,
64
00:02:50,518 --> 00:02:53,738
and, uh, don't forget
your badge tomorrow. [laughs]
65
00:02:53,782 --> 00:02:55,740
Yeah, Marty.
Be more professional.
66
00:02:55,784 --> 00:02:57,525
What?!
67
00:02:57,568 --> 00:02:59,135
All right.
68
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:01,877
Well, my smoker's clean,
my knives are sharp,
69
00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:03,487
and my playlist
is ready.
70
00:03:03,531 --> 00:03:05,620
I'm gonna start out with
a little Earth, Wind & Fire.
71
00:03:05,663 --> 00:03:07,883
Okay.And I'm gonna end it
with some Jimmy Buffett.
72
00:03:07,926 --> 00:03:09,363
Jimmy Buffett?Jimmy Buffett?
73
00:03:09,406 --> 00:03:12,148
It cracks me up
to see Dave dance.
74
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:14,890
Okay. Okay.[laughter]
75
00:03:14,933 --> 00:03:17,240
Okay. Okay.
76
00:03:17,284 --> 00:03:18,067
Okay.
77
00:03:18,110 --> 00:03:19,851
All right.Aw. Baby,
78
00:03:19,895 --> 00:03:23,072
I'm so proud of you for letting
him be a part of the Yardecue.
79
00:03:23,115 --> 00:03:25,640
Whoa. Wait a minute.
You're letting Dave help out?
80
00:03:25,683 --> 00:03:27,076
Oh, it's nothing.
81
00:03:27,119 --> 00:03:28,556
I'm just letting him
bring napkins and plates.
82
00:03:28,599 --> 00:03:32,255
Uh, wait, wait, Wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.
83
00:03:32,299 --> 00:03:34,344
You gave Dave napkins
and plates?
84
00:03:34,388 --> 00:03:37,826
I've been stuck
on folding chairs for ten years!
85
00:03:37,869 --> 00:03:39,480
And when you get that right,
86
00:03:39,523 --> 00:03:42,352
I'll give you napkins
and plates.
87
00:03:42,396 --> 00:03:44,049
Uh, wait a minute.
88
00:03:44,093 --> 00:03:46,313
Admit it, Pop.
You like Dave.
89
00:03:46,356 --> 00:03:48,184
[scoffs]Yeah.
90
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:50,186
What?! What?!Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
91
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,840
ALL:
Yeah.
[scoffs]
92
00:03:51,883 --> 00:03:54,016
Don't nobody like no damn Dave.
93
00:03:54,059 --> 00:03:55,670
[laughter]
94
00:03:55,713 --> 00:03:57,019
Baby, you two
look pretty happy
95
00:03:57,062 --> 00:03:58,890
in your photo at the top
of Splash Mountain.
96
00:03:58,934 --> 00:04:00,240
MALCOLM and MARTY:
Mm-hmm.
97
00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:02,198
He just got sprayed in the face
98
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,808
by the mechanical rabbit.
99
00:04:03,852 --> 00:04:05,897
It's why I bought the photo.
100
00:04:07,072 --> 00:04:09,466
Okay, uh,
what about that farmer's market
101
00:04:09,510 --> 00:04:11,294
y'all went to
last Sunday?
Ah.
Oh.
102
00:04:11,338 --> 00:04:14,254
It's a farmer's market.
You got to take a white dude.
103
00:04:15,733 --> 00:04:18,606
Baby, there's no shame
in admitting that you like him.
104
00:04:18,649 --> 00:04:20,172
Yeah, he's a good guy, Dad.TINA:
Yeah.
105
00:04:20,216 --> 00:04:21,696
And he's a
good neighbor.
106
00:04:21,739 --> 00:04:25,177
Fine. I mean,
maybe he a'ight.
107
00:04:25,221 --> 00:04:27,049
He's all right.
108
00:04:27,092 --> 00:04:28,877
ALL:
Oh...
109
00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:30,922
you love him!
110
00:04:30,966 --> 00:04:32,272
You love him!
111
00:04:32,315 --> 00:04:34,012
[laughs]Want to be together.
112
00:04:34,056 --> 00:04:35,666
MARTY:
Oh, that feeling.
113
00:04:35,710 --> 00:04:38,103
[laughs]
114
00:04:39,931 --> 00:04:41,977
[knocking at door]
115
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,285
Hey, Tina.What's up, Gemma?
116
00:04:45,328 --> 00:04:46,721
Can I borrow some milk?
117
00:04:46,764 --> 00:04:48,244
Sure. What kind
do you want?
118
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:51,073
We have almond, oat,
coconut, macadamia.
119
00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:52,553
Oh, so you don't have milk?
120
00:04:52,596 --> 00:04:54,119
I'll just go to the store.
121
00:04:54,163 --> 00:04:56,948
Hang on, hang on!
Before you go,
122
00:04:56,992 --> 00:04:59,037
I got you a present.
123
00:04:59,081 --> 00:05:01,736
It's for our one-year
anniversary as friends.
124
00:05:01,779 --> 00:05:03,085
Oh, that's so sweet.
125
00:05:03,128 --> 00:05:05,348
I didn't get you anything.
I feel bad.
126
00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:07,045
Oh, you don't have
to feel bad.
127
00:05:07,089 --> 00:05:09,483
I...
Let me see
what you got!
128
00:05:09,526 --> 00:05:11,528
[laughs]
129
00:05:12,703 --> 00:05:15,358
It's a...
It's a, uh...
130
00:05:15,402 --> 00:05:16,794
Peasant blouse!
131
00:05:16,838 --> 00:05:19,231
Exactly!
132
00:05:19,275 --> 00:05:22,147
It's just like the one I have
that you complimented me on.
133
00:05:22,191 --> 00:05:26,630
Oh, what a good
memory you have.
134
00:05:26,674 --> 00:05:28,763
Do you love it?
135
00:05:28,806 --> 00:05:30,808
Well, to be honest...
136
00:05:30,852 --> 00:05:32,419
not really.
137
00:05:32,462 --> 00:05:34,464
No, no, no,
but listen.
138
00:05:34,508 --> 00:05:37,206
I really appreciate
the thought, honestly.
139
00:05:38,512 --> 00:05:40,035
Oh. I'm sorry.
140
00:05:40,078 --> 00:05:42,646
I just... I figured
you would like it.
141
00:05:42,690 --> 00:05:45,301
And maybe we'd be twinsies.
142
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:46,781
Gemma, you don't
have to be sorry.
143
00:05:46,824 --> 00:05:48,957
I mean, we're not gonna
always like the gifts
144
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,437
that we give each other.
145
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:52,961
Like those hoop earrings
that I gave you that you hate.
146
00:05:53,004 --> 00:05:54,745
[laughs]
147
00:05:54,789 --> 00:05:56,747
I don't hate
those earrings.
148
00:05:56,791 --> 00:05:59,271
I love them.
149
00:06:01,404 --> 00:06:02,579
Please.
150
00:06:02,623 --> 00:06:05,539
Well... I do.
151
00:06:05,582 --> 00:06:07,192
So why don't you
ever wear them?
152
00:06:07,236 --> 00:06:10,587
I was just waiting
for a special occasion.
153
00:06:10,631 --> 00:06:11,893
Okay.Like
154
00:06:11,936 --> 00:06:14,939
Grover's third grade graduation,
or his wedding.
155
00:06:14,983 --> 00:06:17,638
All right, I'll see you later.
156
00:06:17,681 --> 00:06:20,597
Wait. Since you don't like the
blouse, I'll just take it back.
157
00:06:20,641 --> 00:06:23,252
No, no, no. I'm gonna save it
for a special occasion,
158
00:06:23,295 --> 00:06:25,080
like Grover's wedding.
159
00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:30,520
[old-fashioned
rock instrumental plays][whistles]
160
00:06:34,611 --> 00:06:35,830
[door closes]
161
00:06:35,873 --> 00:06:38,006
DAVE:
Hey, Calvin, you
in the kitchen?
162
00:06:38,049 --> 00:06:42,227
Oh, we just letting ourselves
into each other's houses now?
163
00:06:43,359 --> 00:06:45,100
Picked up the napkins
and the plates.
164
00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:46,449
Went with the clear ones
165
00:06:46,493 --> 00:06:48,538
so you can see the food
from both sides.
166
00:06:48,582 --> 00:06:51,062
[laughs]
167
00:06:51,106 --> 00:06:52,890
Ooh, looks like you're
making your sauce.
168
00:06:52,934 --> 00:06:54,501
Yeah, that's right.
169
00:06:54,544 --> 00:06:57,329
Everyone back at home
loved my sauce.
170
00:06:57,373 --> 00:06:58,766
I have a secret ingredient.
171
00:06:58,809 --> 00:07:01,464
Oh, good. Why don't you
keep it a secret?
172
00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:02,770
[laughs]
173
00:07:02,813 --> 00:07:05,120
All right,
you dragged it out of me.
174
00:07:07,078 --> 00:07:08,689
It's Worcestershire sauce.
175
00:07:08,732 --> 00:07:10,691
Look, Sorry, Dave,
176
00:07:10,734 --> 00:07:12,780
but I'm not using anything
in my sauce
177
00:07:12,823 --> 00:07:14,738
that has the word "worst" in it.
178
00:07:14,782 --> 00:07:16,479
Are you sure?
179
00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:18,916
Because this stuff gives
the meat a certain tang.
180
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:20,309
Hey, hey.
181
00:07:20,352 --> 00:07:21,963
You keep your tang away
from my meat.
182
00:07:22,006 --> 00:07:24,705
Okay, Calvin, you know,
you're not the only one
183
00:07:24,748 --> 00:07:26,924
around here who knows
how to make ribs.
184
00:07:26,968 --> 00:07:28,448
Come on, Dave.
185
00:07:28,491 --> 00:07:31,276
I mean, how would you feel
if I showed up in Kalamazoo
186
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:35,411
and started hosting one
of your, uh, pumpkin festivals?
187
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:38,283
Calvin, one call,
and I can make that happen.
188
00:07:39,894 --> 00:07:42,679
That's a big no-go
to both, okay?
189
00:07:42,723 --> 00:07:45,421
All right, but, uh,
190
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:48,511
you don't know what
you're, uh, "Michigan."
191
00:07:50,513 --> 00:07:53,690
Come on. You laughed at
that at the farmer's market!
192
00:07:55,562 --> 00:07:58,652
[upbeat rock plays,
indistinct, overlapping chatter]
193
00:07:58,695 --> 00:08:01,524
Calvin, why do you tell
everyone to show up at noon
194
00:08:01,568 --> 00:08:03,308
if the ribs aren't
ready till 3:00?
195
00:08:03,352 --> 00:08:05,659
Because I know
this neighborhood,
196
00:08:05,702 --> 00:08:09,358
and if I told y'all 3:00,
you wouldn't show up till 5:00.
197
00:08:10,925 --> 00:08:12,883
Why? 'Cause we black?
198
00:08:12,927 --> 00:08:14,189
Yeah.
199
00:08:14,232 --> 00:08:16,452
[indistinct chatter]
200
00:08:19,542 --> 00:08:21,675
Hey, Grover.
201
00:08:21,718 --> 00:08:23,503
I like your haircut.
202
00:08:23,546 --> 00:08:25,287
What are you talking about?
203
00:08:25,330 --> 00:08:27,724
I didn't get a haircut.
204
00:08:27,768 --> 00:08:29,813
Well, it looks nice.
205
00:08:29,857 --> 00:08:32,729
I'm gonna be over here.
206
00:08:33,948 --> 00:08:35,384
Hey, Grover, Grover.
207
00:08:35,427 --> 00:08:37,342
Come on over here, man.
208
00:08:37,386 --> 00:08:39,910
We saw you over there
talking to Kayla Watkins.
209
00:08:39,954 --> 00:08:42,173
Mm-hmm.
No. Blech!
210
00:08:42,957 --> 00:08:44,828
I think she likes you.
211
00:08:44,872 --> 00:08:46,351
Really?
212
00:08:46,395 --> 00:08:48,789
[laughs]
Yeah, man.
213
00:08:48,832 --> 00:08:50,094
Are you sure?
214
00:08:50,138 --> 00:08:53,097
'Cause she punched me
in the arm yesterday.
215
00:08:53,141 --> 00:08:55,099
BOTH:
Oh.
216
00:08:55,143 --> 00:08:57,667
You got a girlfriend.
217
00:09:07,982 --> 00:09:10,158
Oh. Hey, Tina.
218
00:09:10,201 --> 00:09:13,291
Oh. I see you're wearing
the earrings.
219
00:09:13,335 --> 00:09:15,859
I didn't know Grover
was getting married today.
220
00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:18,514
Well, I realized
221
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:21,125
a lot of the neighbors
here don't know my name.
222
00:09:21,169 --> 00:09:23,388
They will now.
223
00:09:24,172 --> 00:09:25,913
Oh, come on, Gemma.
224
00:09:25,956 --> 00:09:28,393
I told you you don't have
to pretend to like them.
225
00:09:28,437 --> 00:09:30,570
I got them for you
before I knew your style.
226
00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:33,007
How can you say that?
They are totally me.
227
00:09:33,050 --> 00:09:34,835
Ow.
228
00:09:34,878 --> 00:09:37,054
Oh.
Ow, ow, ow! It's
caught on my sleeve.
229
00:09:37,098 --> 00:09:38,969
Oh. Uh, okay, okay.Ow. Ah, ow.
230
00:09:39,013 --> 00:09:40,536
Ow. Ow!Okay, well, don't...
231
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:44,366
Calvin, how much longer we got
to wait for those ribs, man?
232
00:09:44,409 --> 00:09:45,628
Ten minutes.
233
00:09:45,672 --> 00:09:48,109
You said that
ten minutes ago!
234
00:09:48,152 --> 00:09:50,720
And what you gonna
do about it?
235
00:09:50,764 --> 00:09:53,462
I'm gonna go
get some chips.
236
00:09:55,507 --> 00:09:57,901
See, all y'all need
to learn some patience.
237
00:09:57,945 --> 00:10:00,774
You get ribs
when I give you ribs.
238
00:10:00,817 --> 00:10:03,690
It ain't like
you got another choice.
239
00:10:03,733 --> 00:10:06,257
Come on, everybody.
Who's ready for some ribs?!
240
00:10:08,738 --> 00:10:11,001
Take Jimmy Buffett
off the playlist!
241
00:10:16,572 --> 00:10:18,487
Get back. Get-get-get, y'all get
away from them ribs. Get back.
242
00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:22,491
You! You. You.
243
00:10:22,534 --> 00:10:24,058
Calvin, what
are you doing?
244
00:10:24,101 --> 00:10:26,713
What am Idoing?
What are you doing?
245
00:10:26,756 --> 00:10:28,018
Oh, I-I know, I know.
246
00:10:28,062 --> 00:10:29,672
But I just... I
couldn't help myself.
247
00:10:29,716 --> 00:10:31,674
Besides, what's wrong
with a little variety?
248
00:10:31,718 --> 00:10:33,023
Variety sound good to me.
249
00:10:34,068 --> 00:10:35,635
Stop testing me, Trey.
250
00:10:35,678 --> 00:10:37,680
Calvin, come on.
251
00:10:37,724 --> 00:10:38,986
People want to try them.
252
00:10:39,029 --> 00:10:42,554
Let them have a little
taste of my tang.
253
00:10:43,338 --> 00:10:45,166
I told you not to do this.
254
00:10:45,209 --> 00:10:47,081
Come on, man,
you crossed the line here.
255
00:10:47,124 --> 00:10:48,996
Why are you making such
a big deal out of this?
256
00:10:49,039 --> 00:10:52,216
Calvin, I'm a part of this
neighborhood, too.[chuckles]
257
00:10:52,260 --> 00:10:53,522
Just because you live here
258
00:10:53,565 --> 00:10:55,785
doesn't mean you're a part
of the neighborhood.
259
00:10:55,829 --> 00:10:57,831
Well, I disagree.Oh, really?
260
00:10:57,874 --> 00:11:00,660
Uh, what's Trey's real name?Leslie.
261
00:11:04,315 --> 00:11:08,319
And what did Old Miss Kim's
third husband die of?
262
00:11:08,363 --> 00:11:10,234
Diabetes, but...
263
00:11:10,278 --> 00:11:12,062
some say Old Miss Kim.
264
00:11:13,934 --> 00:11:16,588
Which neighbor danced
with MC Hammer?
265
00:11:16,632 --> 00:11:17,981
Again, Old Miss Kim.
266
00:11:18,808 --> 00:11:20,505
Oh, so we just telling
267
00:11:20,549 --> 00:11:22,594
everybody business now?
268
00:11:23,421 --> 00:11:24,596
You know,
269
00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:27,512
maybe I'm more a part
of this neighborhood
270
00:11:27,556 --> 00:11:28,731
than you thought, Calvin.
271
00:11:28,775 --> 00:11:30,254
You know what, I don't care.
272
00:11:30,298 --> 00:11:31,691
I want you and your ribs
273
00:11:31,734 --> 00:11:34,041
to get out of my yard.
274
00:11:34,084 --> 00:11:35,477
Go.
275
00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:37,392
Okay, fine. Fine.
276
00:11:37,435 --> 00:11:40,351
But if anybody wants some,
they'll be right over here.
277
00:11:40,395 --> 00:11:41,831
In myyard.
278
00:11:41,875 --> 00:11:43,703
[chuckles]:
You know what?
279
00:11:43,746 --> 00:11:45,052
You can stay out there all day.
280
00:11:45,095 --> 00:11:47,358
Nobody's gonna eat
your barbecue
281
00:11:47,402 --> 00:11:49,578
because they'll be too busy
282
00:11:49,621 --> 00:11:50,710
eating mine!
283
00:11:50,753 --> 00:11:52,059
All right!
All right, yeah!Hey, yeah!
284
00:11:52,102 --> 00:11:53,669
In, like, ten minutes, guys.
285
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,889
[all groan]
286
00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:00,023
Come on, Grover. Don't be shy.
287
00:12:00,067 --> 00:12:02,417
Just go over there
and talk to her.
288
00:12:02,460 --> 00:12:03,766
Okay.
289
00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:07,291
But do I tell her she's stupid
or she's gross?
290
00:12:08,336 --> 00:12:10,207
Uh, fair question.
291
00:12:10,251 --> 00:12:12,775
I was thinking
"I like your smile,"
292
00:12:12,819 --> 00:12:15,299
but you do you, man.Yeah.
293
00:12:15,343 --> 00:12:16,561
Hey, listen, man,
294
00:12:16,605 --> 00:12:18,520
opening lines
are always the hardest part.
295
00:12:18,563 --> 00:12:19,782
Yeah, you just
got to be cool.
296
00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:21,566
A-And tell her something
about yourself.
297
00:12:21,610 --> 00:12:24,395
Well, I'm starting third grade,
298
00:12:24,439 --> 00:12:26,267
and I like lizards.
299
00:12:26,310 --> 00:12:27,921
Oh!Sounds to me
300
00:12:27,964 --> 00:12:29,836
like you got this in the bag.
301
00:12:29,879 --> 00:12:32,316
I got you,
little brother.No? Okay, all right.
302
00:12:35,145 --> 00:12:37,104
What are you doing?
303
00:12:37,147 --> 00:12:38,801
Icing my ear.
304
00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:41,238
I hugged Old Miss Kim,
and it got caught
305
00:12:41,282 --> 00:12:43,806
on what everyone now knows
is a wig.
306
00:12:44,938 --> 00:12:46,896
Gemma, just take them off.
307
00:12:46,940 --> 00:12:50,247
No. I was taught that when
someone gives you a present,
308
00:12:50,291 --> 00:12:52,902
the right thing to do is
to show you appreciate it.
309
00:12:52,946 --> 00:12:55,426
Well, I was taught
that honesty is the best policy.
310
00:12:55,470 --> 00:12:58,255
Well, then, I guess I was
just raised differently.
311
00:12:58,299 --> 00:13:00,910
ALL:
Ooh!
312
00:13:02,869 --> 00:13:04,827
She just call your mama a ho.
313
00:13:04,871 --> 00:13:07,743
What?! No, I didn't!
314
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,353
That's what I heard.
315
00:13:09,397 --> 00:13:11,007
No! No, no, no, no. Wait!
316
00:13:11,051 --> 00:13:14,924
Wait, I-I just meant that we
were raised in separate worlds.
317
00:13:14,968 --> 00:13:17,666
You know, separate but equal.
318
00:13:17,709 --> 00:13:20,930
[all groan]
319
00:13:20,974 --> 00:13:22,323
Okay, let's get you inside
320
00:13:22,366 --> 00:13:24,847
before you have to ice
more than your ear. Come on.
321
00:13:24,891 --> 00:13:26,980
This way. This way.Okay.
322
00:13:27,023 --> 00:13:28,416
Don't you...Smell that?
323
00:13:28,459 --> 00:13:30,897
Delicious Michigan
barbecue right over here.Hey!
324
00:13:30,940 --> 00:13:33,769
Hey, you keep the smell
of your ribs off my property.
325
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,989
Come on, everyone.
Try something new.
326
00:13:36,032 --> 00:13:39,949
Or stick with tradition
and don't be a sellout.
327
00:13:39,993 --> 00:13:42,125
What the hell are you doing,
Uncle Tom?
328
00:13:42,169 --> 00:13:43,474
Whoa!
329
00:13:43,518 --> 00:13:45,215
Calvin, don't you think
that's a little harsh?
330
00:13:45,259 --> 00:13:46,521
No.
331
00:13:46,564 --> 00:13:48,479
That's my Uncle Tom.
332
00:13:49,916 --> 00:13:51,613
And you would know that
333
00:13:51,656 --> 00:13:54,181
if you were really a part
of this neighborhood.
334
00:13:54,224 --> 00:13:56,748
Man, forget this.
I'm hungry.Trey,
335
00:13:56,792 --> 00:13:57,967
if you cross that line,
336
00:13:58,011 --> 00:14:00,056
I'm-a tell child
support you got a job.
337
00:14:01,318 --> 00:14:05,105
Now, Dave,
you can stand out here all day.
338
00:14:05,148 --> 00:14:08,369
But as long as I'm here,
nobody's crossing that line.
339
00:14:08,412 --> 00:14:10,197
Okay, fine, Calvin.
340
00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:13,853
It's your neighborhood,
your Yardecue.
341
00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:19,902
But I'm taking these
napkins with me!
342
00:14:21,425 --> 00:14:22,600
Somebody find Marty.
343
00:14:22,644 --> 00:14:24,515
He just got a promotion.
344
00:14:26,517 --> 00:14:28,606
Uh, hey, Kayla.
345
00:14:28,650 --> 00:14:29,956
Hey, Grover.
346
00:14:29,999 --> 00:14:33,133
So, uh... you like lizards?
347
00:14:33,176 --> 00:14:34,743
No.
348
00:14:34,786 --> 00:14:36,876
[scoffs] Me, neither.
349
00:14:38,747 --> 00:14:40,270
Um...
350
00:14:40,314 --> 00:14:43,491
are you excited about
starting third grade?
351
00:14:43,534 --> 00:14:44,448
Totally.
352
00:14:44,492 --> 00:14:46,276
Yeah, me, too.
353
00:14:50,237 --> 00:14:52,413
I asked you about lizards,
right?
354
00:14:54,719 --> 00:14:55,720
Check out little man.
355
00:14:55,764 --> 00:14:57,200
Got her over there smiling.
356
00:14:57,244 --> 00:14:58,245
Yeah, man.
357
00:14:58,288 --> 00:15:00,247
Clearly our swag
is contagious.
358
00:15:00,290 --> 00:15:03,076
[laughs] We do make
a pretty good team.
359
00:15:03,119 --> 00:15:04,555
Hey, Malcolm. Hey, Marty.
360
00:15:04,599 --> 00:15:06,775
Looking good.
361
00:15:06,818 --> 00:15:09,778
Yeah, thank you. Appreciate
that, young lady.Oh, thank you.
362
00:15:09,821 --> 00:15:11,127
I was...[chuckles, clears throat]
363
00:15:11,171 --> 00:15:12,520
Oh, wait, why were
you saying thank you?
364
00:15:12,563 --> 00:15:13,869
She was talking to me.
365
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,958
Uh, no, she wasn't.
She was clearly talking to me.
366
00:15:16,002 --> 00:15:18,961
Well, if she was talking to
you, why was she looking at me?
367
00:15:19,005 --> 00:15:20,745
Uh, because I am
so good-looking,
368
00:15:20,789 --> 00:15:22,834
she couldn't believe
we're related.
369
00:15:24,488 --> 00:15:26,012
Damn, Calvin.
370
00:15:26,055 --> 00:15:28,014
Your ribs are worth the wait.
371
00:15:28,057 --> 00:15:30,538
That's what I been trying
to tell y'all.
372
00:15:31,539 --> 00:15:33,149
Who does that guy think he is?
373
00:15:33,193 --> 00:15:35,630
Bringing his weak-ass
ribs to yourYardecue.
374
00:15:35,673 --> 00:15:36,848
[laughs]
I know, right?
375
00:15:36,892 --> 00:15:38,502
And who buys clear plates?
376
00:15:38,546 --> 00:15:41,941
You're showing the ants
exactly what you got.
377
00:15:41,984 --> 00:15:44,508
I'm glad you put
him in his place.
378
00:15:44,552 --> 00:15:46,858
Now he knows not to
show up here next year.
379
00:15:46,902 --> 00:15:49,078
Well, I didn't say all that.
380
00:15:49,122 --> 00:15:51,341
That's what I heard.
381
00:15:53,387 --> 00:15:55,824
Well, if you ask me,
that dude's a clown.
382
00:15:55,867 --> 00:15:58,566
Whoa. Whoa, Dave is not a clown.
383
00:15:58,609 --> 00:16:00,046
He may overstep,
384
00:16:00,089 --> 00:16:03,049
but actually,
he's kind of my friend.
385
00:16:03,092 --> 00:16:05,094
If that's how you
treat your friends,
386
00:16:05,138 --> 00:16:07,140
I hate to see how
you treat your enemy.
387
00:16:07,183 --> 00:16:09,533
Well, let me show you.
Give me that.
388
00:16:09,577 --> 00:16:12,580
Go on, now. Go.
389
00:16:15,844 --> 00:16:17,802
Mmm.
390
00:16:17,846 --> 00:16:19,108
Yeah.
391
00:16:19,152 --> 00:16:21,023
That's all right
right there, boy.
392
00:16:23,069 --> 00:16:25,027
TINA:
Okay.
393
00:16:25,071 --> 00:16:27,290
I've got some
rubbing alcohol for you
394
00:16:27,334 --> 00:16:29,423
and some
drinking alcohol for me.
395
00:16:29,466 --> 00:16:31,164
[chuckles]
396
00:16:31,207 --> 00:16:33,644
Tina, I'm so sorry
for what I said.
397
00:16:33,688 --> 00:16:37,518
Oh.Could you please explain
to me what I said?
398
00:16:37,561 --> 00:16:40,564
Look, when a white person
says to a black person
399
00:16:40,608 --> 00:16:42,175
they were raised "different,"
400
00:16:42,218 --> 00:16:44,960
it's like saying
they were raised better.
401
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,483
Oh, my God.
402
00:16:46,527 --> 00:16:48,703
I wasn't raised
better than you.
403
00:16:48,746 --> 00:16:50,052
I'm from Hickory Corners.
404
00:16:50,096 --> 00:16:52,054
My mom chews tobacco.
405
00:16:52,098 --> 00:16:53,360
[laughs]
406
00:16:53,403 --> 00:16:56,363
It's okay.
You didn't offend me.Ow.
407
00:16:56,406 --> 00:16:57,407
I know your heart.
408
00:16:57,451 --> 00:16:59,627
But if anybody asks,
I beat your ass.
409
00:16:59,670 --> 00:17:02,369
[chuckles]
Deal.
410
00:17:02,412 --> 00:17:03,544
All right.
411
00:17:03,587 --> 00:17:05,850
And I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to offend you
412
00:17:05,894 --> 00:17:07,591
by telling you
I didn't like your gift.
413
00:17:07,635 --> 00:17:08,810
That's okay.
414
00:17:08,853 --> 00:17:10,377
I know your heart, too.
415
00:17:10,420 --> 00:17:11,726
Thank you.
416
00:17:11,769 --> 00:17:14,555
But why did you tell me
it looked cute on me?
417
00:17:14,598 --> 00:17:16,078
Okay.
418
00:17:16,122 --> 00:17:19,081
Here we go. See, on you,
419
00:17:19,125 --> 00:17:21,910
Little House on the Prairie.
420
00:17:21,953 --> 00:17:24,608
On me, 12 Years a Slave.
421
00:17:25,609 --> 00:17:27,089
Get it?Oh.
422
00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:29,091
Yeah.Yeah.
423
00:17:34,749 --> 00:17:36,794
I don't care what he thinks.
424
00:17:36,838 --> 00:17:38,492
I like the tang.
425
00:17:40,494 --> 00:17:42,365
Hey, Dave.
426
00:17:42,409 --> 00:17:45,934
Oh, I guess we're just walking
into each other's houses now.
427
00:17:45,977 --> 00:17:48,502
[chuckles]
Come on, man.
428
00:17:48,545 --> 00:17:50,417
Now, it doesn't have
to be like this.
429
00:17:50,460 --> 00:17:51,592
Are you kidding?
430
00:17:51,635 --> 00:17:54,290
You humiliated me
in front of everyone.
431
00:17:54,334 --> 00:17:57,380
Well, you disrespected me when
you showed up with your ribs.
432
00:17:57,424 --> 00:17:58,773
Oh, you want to talk
about disrespect?
433
00:17:58,816 --> 00:18:02,168
I offered to help you out,
and you gave me napkins.
434
00:18:02,211 --> 00:18:04,431
I mean, sure,
I knocked napkins
435
00:18:04,474 --> 00:18:06,998
straight out
of the park, but...
436
00:18:07,042 --> 00:18:08,565
Come on, Dave.
437
00:18:08,609 --> 00:18:10,741
Look, you got to look at this
from where I'm standing.
438
00:18:10,785 --> 00:18:13,527
I've been hosting the
Yardecue for a decade.
439
00:18:13,570 --> 00:18:16,573
Now, here you come, just
trying to take it over.
440
00:18:16,617 --> 00:18:19,228
That's not what
I'm trying to do at all.
441
00:18:19,272 --> 00:18:21,665
I just want to be a part
of the neighborhood.
442
00:18:21,709 --> 00:18:23,102
Look, I know, all right?
443
00:18:23,145 --> 00:18:24,886
But you just got here.
444
00:18:24,929 --> 00:18:26,235
You haven't earned it yet.
445
00:18:26,279 --> 00:18:28,150
It took me 20 years
446
00:18:28,194 --> 00:18:29,717
to be put in charge
of the Yardecue.
447
00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:31,762
Three people had to die.
448
00:18:33,155 --> 00:18:36,376
Two of old age and
one of Old Miss Kim.
449
00:18:39,161 --> 00:18:40,641
Look, man, what I'm saying
450
00:18:40,684 --> 00:18:44,166
is that people have been
waiting a long time,
451
00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:46,299
and you just can't go
skipping the line.
452
00:18:46,342 --> 00:18:48,170
That's not what
you told me at Disneyland.
453
00:18:52,914 --> 00:18:54,829
But I gotcha.
454
00:18:54,872 --> 00:18:56,178
Good. We're cool?
455
00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:57,484
Yeah, we're cool.Cool, man.
456
00:18:57,527 --> 00:19:00,008
Come on, let's go back
outside and have a beer.
457
00:19:00,051 --> 00:19:01,140
Man, come on.Okay.
458
00:19:01,183 --> 00:19:02,663
Hey, so, next year...
459
00:19:02,706 --> 00:19:03,925
potato salad?
460
00:19:03,968 --> 00:19:05,274
I'll give you ice.
461
00:19:07,058 --> 00:19:09,191
Marty's gonna be so jealous.
462
00:19:18,113 --> 00:19:20,246
Hey, Vanessa.
463
00:19:20,289 --> 00:19:22,030
Hey, guys. What's up?
464
00:19:22,073 --> 00:19:23,466
When-when you walked by,
465
00:19:23,510 --> 00:19:26,426
uh, earlier...Earlier, we was
just wondering...
466
00:19:26,469 --> 00:19:28,123
You know, um...Which one of us...
467
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,343
Amateurs.
468
00:19:34,085 --> 00:19:35,435
See? I told you
469
00:19:35,478 --> 00:19:36,914
you could rock
those earrings.
470
00:19:36,958 --> 00:19:38,916
You just needed
to adjust your look.
471
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,831
And I told you you
could rock that blouse.
472
00:19:40,875 --> 00:19:42,920
You just needed the
right accessories.
473
00:19:42,964 --> 00:19:45,314
[chuckles]
What up, Harriet Tubman?
474
00:19:47,969 --> 00:19:50,189
Aw, hell, no.
475
00:19:54,889 --> 00:19:57,196
So? What do you think?
476
00:19:57,239 --> 00:20:00,068
I got to admit,
Dave, not bad.
477
00:20:01,896 --> 00:20:03,680
I told you you'd like my tang.
478
00:20:03,724 --> 00:20:06,379
That's it. I'm done.
479
00:20:10,818 --> 00:20:12,559
Captioning sponsored by
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480
00:20:12,602 --> 00:20:15,039
Captioned by
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