Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,102 --> 00:00:02,914
Back in the '80s,
my dad and Barry shared a love
2
00:00:02,984 --> 00:00:04,546
- of Philly sports teams...
- Oh!
3
00:00:04,625 --> 00:00:06,560
- ...especially the Eagles...
- Yes!
4
00:00:06,585 --> 00:00:08,920
...though you wouldn't always
know it by the way they talked.
5
00:00:08,968 --> 00:00:11,635
The Eagles are a giant steaming
pile of crap.
6
00:00:11,694 --> 00:00:14,161
They need to fire the coach, G.M.,
7
00:00:14,264 --> 00:00:16,797
and the guy who carts off the
players after they get injured.
8
00:00:16,899 --> 00:00:18,266
Could he drive any slower?
9
00:00:18,368 --> 00:00:20,501
It's a shame a pig had to die for this.
10
00:00:20,603 --> 00:00:22,703
I hate my team so much!
11
00:00:22,805 --> 00:00:24,672
What time should I come over
to watch the game on Sunday?
12
00:00:24,774 --> 00:00:26,207
The preshow starts at 10:00.
13
00:00:26,309 --> 00:00:27,408
- Don't be late.
- Okay.
14
00:00:27,510 --> 00:00:29,176
And nothing mattered more than beating
15
00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:32,747
my dad's best friend's team,
the hated Cowboys.
16
00:00:32,849 --> 00:00:34,849
Lord in the sky, if he misses this kick,
17
00:00:34,951 --> 00:00:37,051
I promise to live a just and pious life.
18
00:00:37,153 --> 00:00:38,319
Except on my birthday.
19
00:00:38,421 --> 00:00:40,054
And those evenings
when the Asti Spumante
20
00:00:40,156 --> 00:00:41,222
hits Dolores just right.
21
00:00:41,324 --> 00:00:43,124
Okay-kay-kay, let's lock arms
to help him aim.
22
00:00:43,226 --> 00:00:44,659
Come on. Come on.
23
00:00:46,058 --> 00:00:47,828
- Yeah!
- Oho-ho! Yeah!
24
00:00:47,930 --> 00:00:49,063
- All right!
- Never doubted it!
25
00:00:49,165 --> 00:00:50,798
- All right!
- This is on you, big fella.
26
00:00:50,907 --> 00:00:52,607
I'm converting to whatever Murray is.
27
00:00:52,702 --> 00:00:54,402
Whatever you do, Bill,
don't come crying to us.
28
00:00:54,504 --> 00:00:55,803
I appreciate your concern,
29
00:00:55,905 --> 00:00:58,172
but I only allow myself
one good cry a year,
30
00:00:58,274 --> 00:01:00,007
and I wasted it on the death
of my father.
31
00:01:00,109 --> 00:01:01,142
Hello?
32
00:01:01,244 --> 00:01:04,945
Yes, there is a Losery Loser
from Loserville here.
33
00:01:05,048 --> 00:01:06,314
It's for you, Bill.
34
00:01:06,416 --> 00:01:08,916
Unlike the majestic eagle
for which your team is named,
35
00:01:09,018 --> 00:01:10,985
you are not an honorable creature!
36
00:01:11,087 --> 00:01:12,119
Good day!
37
00:01:12,221 --> 00:01:14,055
We did it. We're 3 and 7.
38
00:01:14,157 --> 00:01:16,853
Not mathematically eliminated yet.
Whoo-hoo!
39
00:01:16,883 --> 00:01:19,994
Yep, the Eagles brought
my dad and Barry together.
40
00:01:20,096 --> 00:01:21,495
Until the following season,
41
00:01:21,597 --> 00:01:22,763
when the unthinkable happened.
42
00:01:22,865 --> 00:01:24,265
Everyone, shut up!
43
00:01:24,367 --> 00:01:26,667
I have an announcement
of international importance!
44
00:01:26,769 --> 00:01:27,935
Barry, what is it? What's wrong?
45
00:01:28,037 --> 00:01:29,270
Let me catch my breath.
46
00:01:29,372 --> 00:01:30,371
I ran here from my car.
47
00:01:30,473 --> 00:01:31,818
And you had to go up three steps.
48
00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:32,973
Oh! Pins and needles!
49
00:01:33,076 --> 00:01:35,009
Throw out that water. Bring your
brother some Hawaiian Punch.
50
00:01:35,111 --> 00:01:36,110
No, this is my special water.
51
00:01:36,212 --> 00:01:38,646
- Bar, what is it?
- I just heard a terrible rumor
52
00:01:38,748 --> 00:01:40,681
that NFL players are going on strike.
53
00:01:40,783 --> 00:01:42,283
It's not a rumor, moron.
54
00:01:42,385 --> 00:01:45,353
This is the single most terrible
thing that's ever happened!
55
00:01:45,416 --> 00:01:46,615
I was born in a wagon
56
00:01:46,717 --> 00:01:49,285
and didn't see a dentist
till I was 20, but sure.
57
00:01:49,387 --> 00:01:51,020
Darling, I can tell you're upset.
58
00:01:51,122 --> 00:01:52,154
Come over here.
59
00:01:52,256 --> 00:01:54,089
Let me nuzzle you
and sing the calm-down song.
60
00:01:54,192 --> 00:01:56,158
If you need me, I'll be in my room,
61
00:01:56,260 --> 00:01:58,093
punching and kicking
my treasured possessions.
62
00:01:58,196 --> 00:01:59,528
But it's just a stupid game.
63
00:01:59,630 --> 00:02:01,897
What did you just say?
64
00:02:01,999 --> 00:02:03,399
You can't hurt me! Mom's here.
65
00:02:03,501 --> 00:02:05,935
I can't help you. He's too upset.
66
00:02:06,037 --> 00:02:07,570
Run, Schmoopie, run!
67
00:02:07,672 --> 00:02:08,971
- Whoa!
- Aah!
68
00:02:09,424 --> 00:02:10,990
? I'm twisted up inside ?
69
00:02:11,069 --> 00:02:14,423
? But nonetheless,
I feel the need to say ?
70
00:02:14,448 --> 00:02:16,842
- Subs by kinglouisxx -
for www.addic7ed.com
71
00:02:16,867 --> 00:02:18,263
? I don't know the future ?
72
00:02:18,351 --> 00:02:21,227
? But the past keeps getting
clearer every day ?
73
00:02:21,252 --> 00:02:23,085
It was March 31st, 1980-something,
74
00:02:23,187 --> 00:02:25,287
and my mom was playing
her favorite sport...
75
00:02:25,389 --> 00:02:27,122
haggling with salespeople.
76
00:02:27,225 --> 00:02:28,190
So listen up, Deb.
77
00:02:28,292 --> 00:02:29,625
You're gonna take this coupon,
78
00:02:29,727 --> 00:02:31,694
apply it to the existing discount,
79
00:02:31,796 --> 00:02:34,864
then hand me the sweater plus $15.
80
00:02:34,966 --> 00:02:35,965
I'm getting the manager.
81
00:02:36,067 --> 00:02:37,299
Great. Go get Gerald.
82
00:02:37,401 --> 00:02:39,001
It'll give me time to get mad.
83
00:02:39,103 --> 00:02:40,035
Can we go?
84
00:02:40,137 --> 00:02:41,504
I still have to exist in this society
85
00:02:41,606 --> 00:02:42,738
even when you're not around.
86
00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:45,207
Erica, I will not pay a dollar
more than the $4
87
00:02:45,309 --> 00:02:48,377
that I've already paid for
that giant bag of new clothes.
88
00:02:48,529 --> 00:02:51,730
Yep, my mom's bargaining
ability had no equal,
89
00:02:51,832 --> 00:02:52,932
with one exception.
90
00:02:53,034 --> 00:02:54,767
Beverly Goldberg?
91
00:02:54,869 --> 00:02:56,201
Oh, as I live and breathe.
92
00:02:56,304 --> 00:02:57,870
Well, unfortunately, you still do.
93
00:02:58,973 --> 00:03:00,172
Hello, Jane Bales.
94
00:03:00,274 --> 00:03:01,874
If you're wondering
why the sales rack is empty,
95
00:03:01,976 --> 00:03:04,009
it's because this vulture
already picked it clean.
96
00:03:04,111 --> 00:03:04,910
Show her.
97
00:03:05,012 --> 00:03:06,278
Oh, please.
98
00:03:06,380 --> 00:03:08,147
I can get anything on sale I want.
99
00:03:08,249 --> 00:03:11,483
I once made Chanel honor
a McDonald's gift certificate.
100
00:03:11,586 --> 00:03:14,620
Well, I once forced my way into
Filene's Basement's basement.
101
00:03:14,722 --> 00:03:15,788
It was filled
102
00:03:15,890 --> 00:03:17,656
with industrial
air-conditioning equipment,
103
00:03:17,758 --> 00:03:19,658
which I bought for pennies
on the dollar.
104
00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:21,460
I bought our house for peanuts...
105
00:03:21,562 --> 00:03:23,629
actual peanuts.
106
00:03:23,731 --> 00:03:25,564
The guy worked with elephants,
so it made sense.
107
00:03:25,666 --> 00:03:28,538
Then why are you holding
a blouse listed at full price?
108
00:03:28,633 --> 00:03:31,501
Because my days of deal hunting
are over.
109
00:03:31,589 --> 00:03:32,955
I pay retail now.
110
00:03:34,558 --> 00:03:35,924
Retail?
111
00:03:36,027 --> 00:03:38,494
But that would give businesses
you support a profit.
112
00:03:38,596 --> 00:03:39,762
Don't care.
113
00:03:39,864 --> 00:03:43,132
I now shop exclusively
at the front of the store.
114
00:03:43,234 --> 00:03:44,233
Seriously?
115
00:03:44,335 --> 00:03:46,235
We speed past the front of the store.
116
00:03:46,337 --> 00:03:48,003
There's so many happy people up there.
117
00:03:48,105 --> 00:03:49,605
Smiling, laughing, happy people.
118
00:03:49,707 --> 00:03:52,441
Well, we only seem happy because we are.
119
00:03:52,543 --> 00:03:54,109
But how and why?
120
00:03:54,211 --> 00:03:55,878
And why and how?
121
00:03:55,980 --> 00:03:58,113
Simple. I'm now the top saleswoman
122
00:03:58,215 --> 00:04:01,550
of a high-end French
beauty company called Energ�.
123
00:04:01,652 --> 00:04:02,785
- It means...
- Dump truck.
124
00:04:02,887 --> 00:04:05,187
- ...the vitality of youth.
- Exactly.
125
00:04:05,289 --> 00:04:06,755
Wowza. Sales must be good.
126
00:04:06,857 --> 00:04:09,224
They are magnifique, which means...
127
00:04:09,326 --> 00:04:11,293
- Magnifying glass.
- ...magnificent.
128
00:04:11,395 --> 00:04:13,462
- You were close.
- The secondary meaning.
129
00:04:13,564 --> 00:04:15,631
I've never seen
an unslashed price tag before.
130
00:04:15,733 --> 00:04:16,799
It's so crisp.
131
00:04:16,909 --> 00:04:18,608
I never even look at those anymore.
132
00:04:18,703 --> 00:04:20,269
- Oh!
- Mama,
133
00:04:20,371 --> 00:04:21,704
take me to the front
of the store, please.
134
00:04:21,806 --> 00:04:23,972
Never! I mean, we have to go
up there to exit,
135
00:04:24,075 --> 00:04:26,041
but stop poisoning
my baby's mind, Jane Bales.
136
00:04:26,143 --> 00:04:29,978
Fine. Enjoy scraping the
bargain bin for odds and ends.
137
00:04:30,081 --> 00:04:31,146
Au revoir.
138
00:04:31,248 --> 00:04:33,515
And that means "suck it, losers."
139
00:04:33,617 --> 00:04:34,483
Bye.
140
00:04:34,585 --> 00:04:36,485
Damn it! Such a beautiful language.
141
00:04:36,587 --> 00:04:38,287
While my mom was feeling down,
142
00:04:38,389 --> 00:04:40,689
Barry called my dad to say, "What's up?"
143
00:04:40,791 --> 00:04:42,157
- Hey, Dad.
- What's wrong?
144
00:04:42,259 --> 00:04:43,826
Why are you calling? Were you arrested?
145
00:04:43,928 --> 00:04:45,260
What? No, I was just wondering
146
00:04:45,362 --> 00:04:46,762
if I should come over this Sunday.
147
00:04:46,864 --> 00:04:48,263
W-Why? There's no football.
148
00:04:48,365 --> 00:04:50,466
Wait. Is it your mother's birthday?
149
00:04:50,568 --> 00:04:52,234
Whatever you got her, put my name on it.
150
00:04:52,336 --> 00:04:55,771
No, I was just thinking we could
still hang out and chat.
151
00:04:55,873 --> 00:04:57,339
About old football games?
152
00:04:57,441 --> 00:04:58,674
Sure, or whatever.
153
00:04:58,776 --> 00:05:01,143
You're acting weirder
than usual. I gotta go.
154
00:05:01,245 --> 00:05:03,946
And just like that,
it seemed the clock had run out
155
00:05:04,048 --> 00:05:06,081
on Barry's relationship with our dad,
156
00:05:06,183 --> 00:05:09,017
until a Hail Mary
somehow landed in his lap.
157
00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:11,553
Major news today...
the NFL owners have decided
158
00:05:11,655 --> 00:05:14,206
to finish the season
with replacement players.
159
00:05:14,333 --> 00:05:15,966
I trust you heard the news,
160
00:05:16,077 --> 00:05:18,177
and I'm sure we're all thinking
the same thing.
161
00:05:18,279 --> 00:05:19,645
That this is a vicious ploy by the NFL
162
00:05:19,747 --> 00:05:21,080
to undermine labor unions?
163
00:05:21,182 --> 00:05:24,550
No, that I should try out
for the replacement Eagles!
164
00:05:24,652 --> 00:05:25,784
Who better than me?
165
00:05:25,886 --> 00:05:27,820
Someone that's played
organized football before?
166
00:05:27,922 --> 00:05:29,555
So, Barry, you're just gonna
call up the Eagles
167
00:05:29,657 --> 00:05:30,889
and announce you want to play for them?
168
00:05:30,991 --> 00:05:33,726
I already did that,
and they very rudely informed me
169
00:05:33,828 --> 00:05:35,194
they're having open tryouts.
170
00:05:35,296 --> 00:05:36,662
You're really doing this?
171
00:05:36,764 --> 00:05:38,097
And we're just gonna ignore
the potential
172
00:05:38,199 --> 00:05:39,765
life-altering injuries you might suffer?
173
00:05:39,867 --> 00:05:42,134
Shhhh, Matt Bradley.
174
00:05:42,236 --> 00:05:43,268
Men are talking.
175
00:05:43,370 --> 00:05:45,671
Soon, I'll be giving postgame interviews
176
00:05:45,773 --> 00:05:49,007
in just a towel and fending off
sexy sideline reporters.
177
00:05:49,110 --> 00:05:51,009
What a fun bunch of steps to skip!
178
00:05:51,112 --> 00:05:52,711
Well, if nothing else,
your dad will be into it.
179
00:05:52,813 --> 00:05:55,514
I'm doing this solely
for my love of the game.
180
00:05:55,616 --> 00:05:56,982
- Bar...
- This has nothing to do
181
00:05:57,084 --> 00:05:58,584
with my father's missing love.
182
00:05:58,686 --> 00:06:00,152
Heisman! Hyah!
183
00:06:00,254 --> 00:06:02,488
Look how fast!
184
00:06:02,590 --> 00:06:04,423
Dad, I'm trying out for the Eagles,
185
00:06:04,525 --> 00:06:05,958
and I want you to train me.
186
00:06:07,695 --> 00:06:08,494
And what's so funny?
187
00:06:08,596 --> 00:06:10,129
You being trained by Murray?
188
00:06:10,231 --> 00:06:12,631
It's the blind leading
the tragically immobile.
189
00:06:12,733 --> 00:06:15,100
Your father can barely coach
a nacho chip into his mouth.
190
00:06:15,202 --> 00:06:16,068
Look at his shirt.
191
00:06:16,170 --> 00:06:17,836
For your information, Bill,
192
00:06:17,938 --> 00:06:20,539
my dad was a star football
player back in high school.
193
00:06:20,641 --> 00:06:22,074
Did he go to an all-girls school?
194
00:06:22,176 --> 00:06:24,276
Whoops. That felt sexist.
195
00:06:24,378 --> 00:06:26,445
Uh, God bless women
and their tiny bones.
196
00:06:26,547 --> 00:06:27,613
Oh, I did it again.
197
00:06:27,715 --> 00:06:29,214
Um, ladies good.
198
00:06:29,316 --> 00:06:32,184
I wasn't a star,
but I did do some long snapping.
199
00:06:32,286 --> 00:06:34,586
Are you serious? He was the silent hero
200
00:06:34,688 --> 00:06:36,355
of the interior line's
special teams unit.
201
00:06:36,457 --> 00:06:38,090
And I'm gonna follow in his footsteps.
202
00:06:38,192 --> 00:06:39,725
But I'll be super famous
203
00:06:39,827 --> 00:06:41,627
and will be on the cover
of the first all-male
204
00:06:41,729 --> 00:06:43,462
Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition.
205
00:06:43,564 --> 00:06:45,164
No chance. Your mom will kill me.
206
00:06:45,216 --> 00:06:48,083
Mom only hates football because
the helmets hide our faces.
207
00:06:48,185 --> 00:06:50,519
Come on, Murray, the boy has
clearly been dreaming about this
208
00:06:50,621 --> 00:06:51,620
for a couple of hours.
209
00:06:51,722 --> 00:06:53,655
Saying no will destroy his afternoon.
210
00:06:53,758 --> 00:06:56,825
Or possibly ours, when he throws
one of his famous hissy fits.
211
00:06:56,927 --> 00:06:59,261
- Not gonna happen.
- Or maybe Murray won't help
212
00:06:59,363 --> 00:07:01,430
because he actually never played.
213
00:07:01,532 --> 00:07:02,931
I'm Murray Goldberg.
214
00:07:03,033 --> 00:07:04,466
I love TV and chairs.
215
00:07:04,568 --> 00:07:06,301
And everyone's a moron!
216
00:07:06,403 --> 00:07:07,369
Toss me the ball.
217
00:07:07,471 --> 00:07:08,247
- Wait, wait.
- What?
218
00:07:08,272 --> 00:07:09,081
What's happening?
219
00:07:09,106 --> 00:07:10,185
And why is he moving?
220
00:07:10,224 --> 00:07:13,601
When I say "go," toss
that pillow across the room.
221
00:07:13,711 --> 00:07:15,177
Oh, my God, he's breaking in half!
222
00:07:15,279 --> 00:07:17,079
Oh, no, he's just bending over.
223
00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:18,046
Go!
224
00:07:22,419 --> 00:07:24,453
- Moses in the reeds!
- Was it shot out of a cannon?
225
00:07:24,555 --> 00:07:27,189
Boom! My dad is, and always will be,
226
00:07:27,291 --> 00:07:28,824
a super jock. Right, Dad?
227
00:07:28,926 --> 00:07:29,858
Everybody leave.
228
00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:31,660
You don't want to see me
get out of this.
229
00:07:31,762 --> 00:07:33,095
As my dad bent over backwards
230
00:07:33,197 --> 00:07:34,363
to prove his friends wrong,
231
00:07:34,465 --> 00:07:37,132
Erica and I were doing
our own problem-solving.
232
00:07:37,234 --> 00:07:39,368
Damn it! Why won't
this stupid thing work?
233
00:07:39,470 --> 00:07:41,236
Probably because
you're hitting it like that.
234
00:07:41,338 --> 00:07:42,738
You got to hit it like this.
235
00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:43,906
With the whackin' book.
236
00:07:44,008 --> 00:07:44,773
Whackin' book?
237
00:07:44,875 --> 00:07:46,141
It fixes more than it breaks.
238
00:07:46,243 --> 00:07:47,409
Fear not, children.
239
00:07:47,511 --> 00:07:50,512
Soon Madame Mama will buy you
hundreds of televisions.
240
00:07:50,614 --> 00:07:51,880
That seems like too many.
241
00:07:51,982 --> 00:07:53,515
And why are you dressed
like Sam Kinison?
242
00:07:53,617 --> 00:07:55,250
This outfit is French.
243
00:07:55,352 --> 00:07:58,520
Energ� wants their saleswomen
to represent their le brand.
244
00:07:58,622 --> 00:07:59,955
You joined Jane Bales' company?
245
00:08:00,057 --> 00:08:01,690
More like Beverly Goldberg's company.
246
00:08:01,792 --> 00:08:02,791
That's what they're gonna call it
247
00:08:02,893 --> 00:08:04,960
as soon as I outsell
that screechy scarecrow.
248
00:08:05,062 --> 00:08:06,228
Wait. Does that mean you're no longer
249
00:08:06,330 --> 00:08:07,529
the Quaker Warden at my school?
250
00:08:07,631 --> 00:08:09,898
I am gonna have to scale back
my hours a little bit
251
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,034
so I can bring home
the French Benjamins...
252
00:08:12,136 --> 00:08:13,902
AKA francs.
253
00:08:14,004 --> 00:08:15,871
Whatever this is,
you have my full support.
254
00:08:15,973 --> 00:08:17,906
Then go get me all the names
and phone numbers
255
00:08:18,008 --> 00:08:19,808
of your friends' moms
so I can hawk them stuff
256
00:08:19,910 --> 00:08:20,976
until they go broke.
257
00:08:21,078 --> 00:08:23,011
Desperate times. I'll go grab you a pen.
258
00:08:23,113 --> 00:08:25,747
Mom, how much do you really know
about this Energ�?
259
00:08:25,850 --> 00:08:27,683
Only that they're
the finest straight-to-market
260
00:08:27,785 --> 00:08:28,851
French beauty company around.
261
00:08:28,953 --> 00:08:29,885
- Why?
- I don't know.
262
00:08:29,987 --> 00:08:31,587
It just seems like most jobs
that involve
263
00:08:31,689 --> 00:08:33,522
getting rich quick are usually scams.
264
00:08:33,624 --> 00:08:35,190
You should be more worried
about the poor saps
265
00:08:35,292 --> 00:08:36,325
I'll be selling to.
266
00:08:36,427 --> 00:08:37,726
Which reminds me...
267
00:08:37,828 --> 00:08:39,895
There's no chance I'm giving you
the numbers of anyone I know.
268
00:08:39,997 --> 00:08:41,730
Then I'll just do it the French way...
269
00:08:41,832 --> 00:08:43,665
through la s�duction.
270
00:08:43,736 --> 00:08:45,467
As my mom went to make a sale,
271
00:08:45,569 --> 00:08:46,902
Barry was looking to profit
272
00:08:47,004 --> 00:08:48,770
from my dad's football expertise.
273
00:08:48,873 --> 00:08:50,572
Yeah. Look at this.
274
00:08:50,674 --> 00:08:54,343
Oh, to be young and delusional
about one's athletic ability.
275
00:08:54,445 --> 00:08:55,844
Yep, I'm blessed.
276
00:08:55,946 --> 00:08:58,347
- What's first, Coach Dad?
- Don't call me that.
277
00:08:58,449 --> 00:09:00,148
And I'm not helping you
until you show me
278
00:09:00,251 --> 00:09:03,719
a tiny bit of skill
and a willingness to listen.
279
00:09:03,821 --> 00:09:05,520
I'll show you 10 times that.
280
00:09:05,623 --> 00:09:06,722
- Oh!
- Professional hike!
281
00:09:06,824 --> 00:09:08,190
Oh!
282
00:09:09,260 --> 00:09:10,292
I need that mirror!
283
00:09:10,394 --> 00:09:11,460
How will I merge?
284
00:09:11,562 --> 00:09:12,594
That's it. I'm out.
285
00:09:12,696 --> 00:09:14,830
Coach Dad, please,
give me one more shot.
286
00:09:14,932 --> 00:09:16,298
Oh, come on, Mur.
287
00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:18,734
Throw him a tip or two
and see how he does.
288
00:09:18,836 --> 00:09:20,002
Throw him a tip.
289
00:09:20,104 --> 00:09:21,236
Throw him a tip!
290
00:09:21,338 --> 00:09:22,337
- Hey.
- Throw him a tip!
291
00:09:22,439 --> 00:09:24,239
Okay, fine! Get in your stance.
292
00:09:24,341 --> 00:09:25,440
Not like that.
293
00:09:25,542 --> 00:09:28,543
Be like, uh, a dog digging up
sand at the beach.
294
00:09:28,646 --> 00:09:30,112
But dogs aren't allowed on beaches.
295
00:09:30,214 --> 00:09:32,047
It's true, and if you're caught,
it's a hefty fine.
296
00:09:32,149 --> 00:09:34,516
Beaches can be stressful
environments for dogs...
297
00:09:34,618 --> 00:09:36,585
the heat, the lack of shade...
298
00:09:36,687 --> 00:09:39,454
and noise can trigger all sorts
of unfortunate behavior.
299
00:09:39,556 --> 00:09:41,089
I love our furry friends,
300
00:09:41,191 --> 00:09:43,859
but let's keep beaches fun
and safe for people first.
301
00:09:43,961 --> 00:09:45,560
Enough with the beach report.
302
00:09:45,663 --> 00:09:48,463
Just pretend you're a human
digging like a dog at the beach.
303
00:09:48,565 --> 00:09:50,032
Now, that I can do.
304
00:09:51,535 --> 00:09:53,535
Tuck in your chin.
305
00:09:53,637 --> 00:09:55,437
Raise up your tailbone.
306
00:09:55,539 --> 00:09:58,573
Close your eyes
and imagine the perfect spiral.
307
00:09:59,710 --> 00:10:02,978
Snap at the belt!
308
00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:04,846
Great Vince Lombardi's ghost!
309
00:10:04,949 --> 00:10:07,015
This is how people felt
watching the moon landing.
310
00:10:07,117 --> 00:10:09,551
It's a massive overstatement,
but it was still surprising.
311
00:10:09,653 --> 00:10:12,955
So, Dad, will you mold me
into a football god
312
00:10:13,057 --> 00:10:15,991
that's a role model
to young kids everywhere?
313
00:10:16,093 --> 00:10:17,592
Even though
that's really a parent's job.
314
00:10:17,695 --> 00:10:19,528
Take it easy, okay?
315
00:10:19,630 --> 00:10:20,762
You had one good snap.
316
00:10:20,864 --> 00:10:21,964
We got a lot of work to do.
317
00:10:22,066 --> 00:10:24,399
Oh! He said "we." It's happening!
318
00:10:24,501 --> 00:10:25,968
Victory spike!
319
00:10:26,070 --> 00:10:27,636
- Whoo!
- Oh!
320
00:10:28,568 --> 00:10:31,198
Barry was preparing
for his big NFL tryout,
321
00:10:31,223 --> 00:10:33,776
and every moment was
an opportunity to train.
322
00:10:33,801 --> 00:10:36,353
Hey, Bar, toss me a plum.
323
00:10:36,378 --> 00:10:37,403
No, no, no, no, no.
324
00:10:37,505 --> 00:10:38,436
Snap it to him.
325
00:10:38,499 --> 00:10:39,765
You know it, Coach Dad.
326
00:10:39,867 --> 00:10:41,367
Plum comin' in!
327
00:10:41,469 --> 00:10:43,168
Boom!
328
00:10:43,270 --> 00:10:44,336
That's a papaya.
329
00:10:44,438 --> 00:10:45,504
Professional hike!
330
00:10:45,606 --> 00:10:46,626
Apple.
331
00:10:46,651 --> 00:10:47,316
Yi!
332
00:10:47,356 --> 00:10:48,194
Pear!
333
00:10:48,219 --> 00:10:48,884
Yi!
334
00:10:48,909 --> 00:10:50,275
Tangelo!
335
00:10:50,378 --> 00:10:53,345
You know what might be
a nice lesson, Coach Dad?
336
00:10:53,447 --> 00:10:55,914
The difference between
a banana and a plum.
337
00:10:56,017 --> 00:10:58,384
Thanks to my dad,
Barry was starting to improve.
338
00:10:58,486 --> 00:10:59,685
- Hike!
- And before long...
339
00:10:59,787 --> 00:11:01,654
- Hike!
- ...long-snapping was a snap.
340
00:11:01,756 --> 00:11:02,888
Ow! So cold!
341
00:11:02,990 --> 00:11:03,941
- Whoo!
- [Bleep]
342
00:11:03,966 --> 00:11:05,065
You said we were tasting ice cream!
343
00:11:05,159 --> 00:11:06,291
- Ow!
- Ew!
344
00:11:06,394 --> 00:11:08,160
Mr. Goldberg, you have
the power to stop this!
345
00:11:08,262 --> 00:11:10,896
- Yeah, I do.
- Yep, with football to focus on,
346
00:11:10,998 --> 00:11:13,866
Barry and my dad were
back on solid ground.
347
00:11:13,968 --> 00:11:16,602
Nachos... is it a meal, is it a snack?
348
00:11:16,704 --> 00:11:19,071
Either way, it's a great way
to celebrate a child
349
00:11:19,173 --> 00:11:20,239
crossing a labor dispute.
350
00:11:20,341 --> 00:11:21,807
There he is.
351
00:11:21,909 --> 00:11:24,510
I got something I want to give
you before you hit the gridiron.
352
00:11:24,612 --> 00:11:26,045
More hiking knowledge, Coach Dad?
353
00:11:26,147 --> 00:11:27,279
Better than that.
354
00:11:27,381 --> 00:11:29,081
My old butt towel.
355
00:11:29,183 --> 00:11:31,016
I don't know what to say.
356
00:11:31,118 --> 00:11:33,352
Mostly 'cause I don't understand
what that is.
357
00:11:33,454 --> 00:11:35,454
I used to wear this when I played,
358
00:11:35,556 --> 00:11:37,790
to wipe off the ball
before I snapped it,
359
00:11:37,892 --> 00:11:39,491
and I want you to have it.
360
00:11:39,593 --> 00:11:41,894
I'd be honored to wipe a ball
361
00:11:41,996 --> 00:11:43,629
with the towel that's been on your butt.
362
00:11:43,731 --> 00:11:47,700
Don't make a father giving
his son his butt towel weird.
363
00:11:47,802 --> 00:11:50,602
Wow. I've never seen your
old man give a gift to anyone.
364
00:11:50,705 --> 00:11:51,637
It's pretty special.
365
00:11:51,739 --> 00:11:52,805
When I win the Super Bowl,
366
00:11:52,907 --> 00:11:54,373
he'll be the second person I thank,
367
00:11:54,475 --> 00:11:56,975
right after my wife,
Paula Abdul Goldberg.
368
00:11:57,078 --> 00:11:58,744
The person you should be
thanking is the good Lord above
369
00:11:58,846 --> 00:12:00,479
for watching over you and making sure
370
00:12:00,581 --> 00:12:03,248
that you are not
violently killed tomorrow.
371
00:12:03,350 --> 00:12:05,451
But long snapper's one of the
safest positions on the field.
372
00:12:05,553 --> 00:12:08,821
There's no such thing on the
cruel and unforgiving gridiron.
373
00:12:08,923 --> 00:12:13,025
In high school, I got tackled
so hard, I lost three days.
374
00:12:13,127 --> 00:12:14,927
I missed Ann-Margret
on "The Flintstones"
375
00:12:15,029 --> 00:12:17,029
as Ann-Margrock.
376
00:12:17,131 --> 00:12:19,698
Also, my grandmama's funeral.
377
00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:21,333
You see this dent in my skull?
378
00:12:21,435 --> 00:12:23,235
I got that from my time on the turf.
379
00:12:23,337 --> 00:12:25,404
Now I can taste colors
and smell feelings.
380
00:12:26,841 --> 00:12:28,107
Sad.
381
00:12:28,209 --> 00:12:30,175
As Vic and Bill spooked my brother...
382
00:12:30,277 --> 00:12:31,343
...my mom was looking
383
00:12:31,445 --> 00:12:32,811
to scare up a few new customers.
384
00:12:32,913 --> 00:12:34,446
Oh! Judas the Betrayer!
385
00:12:34,548 --> 00:12:35,781
What did you just spray in my face?!
386
00:12:35,883 --> 00:12:37,316
Bon-Bon Boudoir.
387
00:12:37,418 --> 00:12:38,383
It's a skin toner.
388
00:12:38,486 --> 00:12:39,818
I'll put you down for four bottles.
389
00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:41,220
Is the rest of the herd here?
390
00:12:41,322 --> 00:12:42,454
Ladies!
391
00:12:42,556 --> 00:12:44,123
I hope you brought your checkbooks.
392
00:12:45,226 --> 00:12:46,425
Jane Bales!
393
00:12:46,527 --> 00:12:47,626
Hello, Beverly.
394
00:12:47,728 --> 00:12:50,028
I've heard that we're co-workers,
which is great,
395
00:12:50,131 --> 00:12:51,597
because every team needs a scrub.
396
00:12:51,699 --> 00:12:53,599
The only thing I'm going
to scrub is the floor,
397
00:12:53,701 --> 00:12:54,767
with my sales numbers.
398
00:12:54,869 --> 00:12:56,068
This is awkward.
399
00:12:56,170 --> 00:12:58,070
Uh, we just bought a whole bunch
of stuff from Jane.
400
00:12:58,172 --> 00:13:01,173
Anyway, gotta run, which I do often.
401
00:13:01,275 --> 00:13:02,641
Hence my exquisite frame.
402
00:13:02,743 --> 00:13:05,344
Toodles, my poodles.
403
00:13:05,446 --> 00:13:07,212
What the [Bleep] [Bleep]?!
404
00:13:07,314 --> 00:13:08,614
I was supposed to be the one
to force you
405
00:13:08,716 --> 00:13:10,015
into buying things you don't want!
406
00:13:10,117 --> 00:13:11,383
We know, but then Jane arrived,
407
00:13:11,485 --> 00:13:13,152
and she's so pushy and terrifying.
408
00:13:13,254 --> 00:13:14,820
She said there was a new sheriff
in town, and it's her.
409
00:13:14,922 --> 00:13:17,122
Then she showed us an actual badge.
410
00:13:17,224 --> 00:13:18,624
I think she might be the sheriff.
411
00:13:18,726 --> 00:13:20,459
Are you more scared of her
than you are of me?
412
00:13:20,561 --> 00:13:22,628
Goodness no. No, no.
You frighten the crap out of us.
413
00:13:22,730 --> 00:13:25,063
I once screamed when I thought
I saw your shadow.
414
00:13:25,166 --> 00:13:27,099
Thank goodness it was just
a circus clown in my driveway.
415
00:13:27,201 --> 00:13:28,967
Good. Then I'll put you all down
416
00:13:29,069 --> 00:13:31,003
for our new Rose Petal Body Mist.
417
00:13:31,105 --> 00:13:32,771
Sorry, but I've reached
my spending limit.
418
00:13:32,873 --> 00:13:35,908
Same. I don't want Lou
to give me that unhappy look.
419
00:13:36,010 --> 00:13:38,944
I have a product that'll keep
Lou so happy with your face,
420
00:13:39,046 --> 00:13:40,746
he'll forget all about your body.
421
00:13:40,848 --> 00:13:42,181
What's wrong with our bodies?
422
00:13:42,283 --> 00:13:43,749
Nothing that a super-secret product
423
00:13:43,851 --> 00:13:45,968
that only I have access to won't fix.
424
00:13:46,046 --> 00:13:47,937
- We're not falling for that.
- What is it? Tell me!
425
00:13:47,968 --> 00:13:49,647
I, too, want to hear about
the super-secret product!
426
00:13:49,721 --> 00:13:52,357
May I present Rol�-Pol�.
427
00:13:52,459 --> 00:13:55,027
That kind of sounds like "roly-poly."
428
00:13:55,129 --> 00:13:56,328
I don't hear it.
429
00:13:56,430 --> 00:13:59,198
It's a new supplement
designed to help you slim down
430
00:13:59,300 --> 00:14:01,300
without using an ounce of energy.
431
00:14:01,402 --> 00:14:02,434
I don't know, Beverly.
432
00:14:02,536 --> 00:14:04,436
There's an awful lot
of weird ingredients in here.
433
00:14:04,538 --> 00:14:06,038
What's hummingbird extract?
434
00:14:06,140 --> 00:14:09,041
Relax. I wouldn't sell you
anything I wouldn't take myself.
435
00:14:09,143 --> 00:14:12,144
Now, come on, let's all look
years younger together.
436
00:14:13,470 --> 00:14:15,647
Soon, the French mystery pill
was working.
437
00:14:15,672 --> 00:14:17,816
- Ah.
- Really, really working.
438
00:14:17,918 --> 00:14:19,651
- My fingers are tingly.
- Why is my foot tapping?
439
00:14:19,753 --> 00:14:20,953
It makes you kinda drowsy.
440
00:14:20,978 --> 00:14:23,121
- Oh, wait! Now it's the opposite.
- This may sound crazy,
441
00:14:23,224 --> 00:14:24,857
but who's up
for organizing Ginzy's pantry?!
442
00:14:24,959 --> 00:14:25,858
- Me!
- So in!
443
00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:26,892
You want to see how high I can kick?!
444
00:14:26,994 --> 00:14:28,160
- Yeah!
- Do it again!
445
00:14:28,262 --> 00:14:29,161
- Go!
- Do it!
446
00:14:29,263 --> 00:14:30,963
- Aah!
- And from there,
447
00:14:31,065 --> 00:14:32,164
things only got weirder.
448
00:14:32,266 --> 00:14:33,665
Nothing like a little group speedwalk
449
00:14:33,767 --> 00:14:34,833
to help break up the day.
450
00:14:34,935 --> 00:14:36,001
A run would also feel good.
451
00:14:36,103 --> 00:14:37,803
I'm super cold but sweaty.
Let's run hard.
452
00:14:37,905 --> 00:14:39,471
Linda's just nodding
'cause she can't move her jaw,
453
00:14:39,573 --> 00:14:40,772
but I say yes, too!
454
00:14:40,875 --> 00:14:42,441
While my mom was amped,
455
00:14:42,543 --> 00:14:46,345
Barry wasn't exactly pumped
for his tryout.
456
00:14:46,447 --> 00:14:47,980
Why won't Big Tasty come out?
457
00:14:48,082 --> 00:14:50,716
Because I don't want to die, you idiots!
458
00:14:50,818 --> 00:14:52,885
Do you see the size of these guys?!
459
00:14:52,987 --> 00:14:54,519
Yeah, Bar. Football players are large.
460
00:14:54,622 --> 00:14:55,787
That's kinda what they're known for.
461
00:14:55,890 --> 00:14:57,689
I'm not sure I can go through
with this tryout.
462
00:14:57,791 --> 00:14:59,758
There's my boy.
463
00:14:59,860 --> 00:15:01,326
You came?
464
00:15:01,428 --> 00:15:02,461
You don't come to stuff.
465
00:15:02,563 --> 00:15:03,795
Of course I did, you moron!
466
00:15:03,898 --> 00:15:05,197
We're in this together!
467
00:15:05,299 --> 00:15:06,431
We are in this together.
468
00:15:06,533 --> 00:15:08,533
I mean, it's my body out there,
469
00:15:08,636 --> 00:15:10,035
but I can see how you might have
some interest
470
00:15:10,137 --> 00:15:11,436
in how this all turns out.
471
00:15:11,538 --> 00:15:12,971
Yeah, I do.
472
00:15:13,073 --> 00:15:14,006
Break a leg.
473
00:15:15,976 --> 00:15:17,609
You know, Mur, a week ago,
474
00:15:17,711 --> 00:15:19,978
if you told me that your son
could make the Eagles,
475
00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:21,513
uh, I'd say you were crazy.
476
00:15:23,250 --> 00:15:24,816
- Ew!
- Oh, my God!
477
00:15:24,919 --> 00:15:27,819
That little guy got bent in ways
no human should bend!
478
00:15:27,922 --> 00:15:30,022
The human elbow's not located there.
479
00:15:30,124 --> 00:15:31,056
- Next!
- Crap.
480
00:15:32,526 --> 00:15:36,161
It was then Barry realized
he was in too deep.
481
00:15:36,263 --> 00:15:37,729
So, instead of trying out...
482
00:15:37,831 --> 00:15:39,031
- Never mind!
- ...he did this.
483
00:15:39,133 --> 00:15:40,198
- Move, please.
- What's he doing?
484
00:15:40,223 --> 00:15:41,277
As Barry was running
485
00:15:41,302 --> 00:15:42,234
from a violent collision...
486
00:15:42,336 --> 00:15:44,202
- Good hustle.
- ...my mom was dealing
487
00:15:44,313 --> 00:15:45,478
with a crash of her own.
488
00:15:45,572 --> 00:15:46,939
Nothing! Who wants to know?!
489
00:15:47,041 --> 00:15:48,874
- You're acting strange.
- Oh.
490
00:15:48,976 --> 00:15:50,709
And are you wearing
the same clothes from yesterday?
491
00:15:50,811 --> 00:15:52,044
Gosh, you're loud.
492
00:15:52,146 --> 00:15:53,912
Why is it so bright in here?
493
00:15:54,014 --> 00:15:56,248
Were you out all night, young lady?
494
00:15:56,350 --> 00:15:57,816
I always wondered what this side
of it felt like,
495
00:15:57,918 --> 00:15:59,551
and it turns out it's as boring
as I thought.
496
00:15:59,653 --> 00:16:02,921
If you must know, I was up
all night closing deals.
497
00:16:03,023 --> 00:16:06,458
Then I did two exercise videos
and read "The Thorn Birds."
498
00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:07,592
That sounds like a lot.
499
00:16:07,695 --> 00:16:09,995
Not when you have
these French wonder vitamins.
500
00:16:10,097 --> 00:16:12,164
They are... superbe.
501
00:16:12,266 --> 00:16:13,665
Does that mean amphetamines?
502
00:16:13,767 --> 00:16:15,334
This article in today's paper says
503
00:16:15,436 --> 00:16:18,136
that your beauty company
uses speed in its diet pills.
504
00:16:18,238 --> 00:16:19,671
Oh, that's ridiculous.
505
00:16:19,773 --> 00:16:22,874
I feel amazing, and I've barely
eaten or slept in three days.
506
00:16:24,211 --> 00:16:25,243
Hi! Is your mom in?
507
00:16:25,346 --> 00:16:26,578
We just need
more body-shaping supplements.
508
00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:27,646
You know, for our health?
509
00:16:27,748 --> 00:16:29,481
Uh, Beverly,
your loyal customers are here.
510
00:16:29,583 --> 00:16:31,650
I got cash from the register
at the flower shop.
511
00:16:31,752 --> 00:16:33,719
Yeah, ladies, I don't think
this is a good idea.
512
00:16:33,821 --> 00:16:34,920
Give me more pills now, please!
513
00:16:35,022 --> 00:16:36,955
- No!
- Aaah!
514
00:16:37,057 --> 00:16:38,123
Are you happy now?
515
00:16:38,225 --> 00:16:39,491
I just wanted to make some extra dough,
516
00:16:39,593 --> 00:16:41,960
not turn my gal pals into druggies!
517
00:16:42,062 --> 00:16:43,095
They do look amazing, though.
518
00:16:43,197 --> 00:16:45,230
Mom, when did making money
become so important?
519
00:16:45,332 --> 00:16:48,600
I don't know. Maybe... w-when
we saw Jane Bales at Gimbels.
520
00:16:48,702 --> 00:16:50,335
So, this is all because you're jealous
521
00:16:50,437 --> 00:16:51,903
that she shops
in the front of the store?
522
00:16:52,006 --> 00:16:54,473
I'm not jealous that she pays retail.
523
00:16:54,575 --> 00:16:56,808
I'm jealous
that she's got her own money.
524
00:16:56,910 --> 00:16:58,577
I'm jealous
that she doesn't have to worry
525
00:16:58,679 --> 00:17:00,746
about spending her husband's.
526
00:17:00,848 --> 00:17:03,582
And I'm jealous of the way
you were looking at her.
527
00:17:03,684 --> 00:17:04,816
- Mom...
- Exactly.
528
00:17:04,918 --> 00:17:06,351
I'm a mom.
529
00:17:06,453 --> 00:17:08,353
More than anything,
a mom who wants to be
530
00:17:08,455 --> 00:17:10,622
a role model for her daughter.
531
00:17:10,724 --> 00:17:13,725
Instead, I'm just a drug dealer.
532
00:17:15,752 --> 00:17:17,836
Open the freakin' door now!
533
00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:22,735
My mom was ready to give up
her dream of financial freedom,
534
00:17:22,844 --> 00:17:25,430
but not before Erica
could make a big sale.
535
00:17:25,524 --> 00:17:27,324
Mom, if you have a minute,
I would like to pitch you
536
00:17:27,426 --> 00:17:29,762
a new product
that will change your life.
537
00:17:29,787 --> 00:17:31,889
Wow! That sounds like a tall order.
538
00:17:31,991 --> 00:17:32,957
Tell us more.
539
00:17:33,059 --> 00:17:34,692
May I present...
540
00:17:34,794 --> 00:17:35,759
the Bever-l�.
541
00:17:35,862 --> 00:17:37,061
It looks amazing.
542
00:17:37,163 --> 00:17:38,794
What does the Bever-l� do?
543
00:17:38,898 --> 00:17:41,332
Well, the real question is,
what doesn't she do?
544
00:17:41,434 --> 00:17:43,934
She runs a household,
she works at a school,
545
00:17:44,036 --> 00:17:46,137
and she cares
for three ungrateful children.
546
00:17:46,239 --> 00:17:48,072
They look terrible!
547
00:17:48,174 --> 00:17:49,306
Except for the young one.
548
00:17:49,408 --> 00:17:51,275
He's got a Harrison Ford quality.
549
00:17:51,377 --> 00:17:53,210
Stick to the script, or I will hurt you.
550
00:17:53,312 --> 00:17:56,213
B... Clearly, the Bever-l�
must have help.
551
00:17:56,315 --> 00:17:58,983
You would think so,
but this is her life partner.
552
00:17:59,085 --> 00:18:03,187
She accomplished all that tied
to a human anchor in a La-Z-Boy?
553
00:18:03,289 --> 00:18:04,421
What's the catch?
554
00:18:04,524 --> 00:18:06,257
Well, there is one thing.
555
00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:08,526
Sometimes the Bever-l�
is prone to questioning
556
00:18:08,628 --> 00:18:11,428
whether or not she sets
a good example for her daughter.
557
00:18:11,531 --> 00:18:13,497
If that happens, what do you do?
558
00:18:13,599 --> 00:18:17,034
Well, you assure her that
you can't think of a stronger,
559
00:18:17,136 --> 00:18:18,502
more caring,
560
00:18:18,604 --> 00:18:21,172
often terrifying role model
to aspire to,
561
00:18:21,274 --> 00:18:23,440
regardless of how much money she makes.
562
00:18:23,543 --> 00:18:25,643
I'm the richest woman in the world!
563
00:18:25,745 --> 00:18:28,078
All of this can be had
for 10 easy payments of...
564
00:18:28,181 --> 00:18:29,647
She's crying, Adam. We're done.
565
00:18:29,749 --> 00:18:33,350
Oh! That was the greatest
sales presentation ever.
566
00:18:33,452 --> 00:18:35,519
It's easy when you believe
in the product.
567
00:18:35,621 --> 00:18:39,223
You know, um, I still have
some drug money to unload.
568
00:18:39,325 --> 00:18:42,226
What do you say we go buy you
some new clothes...
569
00:18:42,328 --> 00:18:43,727
at full price.
570
00:18:48,534 --> 00:18:49,466
Hey!
571
00:18:49,569 --> 00:18:51,735
You drove away before we could talk.
572
00:18:51,837 --> 00:18:55,339
I brought shame on the family
like a disgraced samurai.
573
00:18:55,441 --> 00:18:57,141
And if I hadn't broken my sword
last year
574
00:18:57,243 --> 00:18:58,542
attacking that anthill,
575
00:18:58,644 --> 00:19:00,010
I would've done the honorable thing.
576
00:19:00,112 --> 00:19:01,478
Okay.
577
00:19:01,581 --> 00:19:03,914
So, you're not a replacement Eagle.
578
00:19:04,016 --> 00:19:07,184
There's no shame in not wanting
your head knocked off.
579
00:19:07,286 --> 00:19:08,586
So, you're not disappointed?
580
00:19:08,688 --> 00:19:09,954
Are you kidding?
581
00:19:10,056 --> 00:19:13,424
I had a blast teaching you
my old snapping tricks.
582
00:19:13,526 --> 00:19:15,025
I guess I'm just worried,
without football,
583
00:19:15,127 --> 00:19:16,560
we have nothing in common.
584
00:19:16,662 --> 00:19:19,430
Barry, we have everything in common.
585
00:19:19,532 --> 00:19:20,731
You're my kid.
586
00:19:20,833 --> 00:19:24,835
So, you'd want to hang out,
even when there's no game on?
587
00:19:24,937 --> 00:19:26,737
I love the Eagles...
588
00:19:26,839 --> 00:19:29,406
but my true joy is you.
589
00:19:34,180 --> 00:19:35,379
So, what do you want to talk about?
590
00:19:35,481 --> 00:19:36,213
I don't know.
591
00:19:36,315 --> 00:19:37,748
I... Anything, everything.
592
00:19:37,850 --> 00:19:38,849
What are you interested in?
593
00:19:38,951 --> 00:19:39,984
Nunchucks,
594
00:19:40,086 --> 00:19:42,353
the vocal stylings of Big Daddy Kane.
595
00:19:42,455 --> 00:19:45,055
I melted a Nerf Ball with a blowtorch.
596
00:19:45,157 --> 00:19:46,457
We'll find something.
597
00:19:46,559 --> 00:19:49,526
Sure, it can be hard
to find common ground
598
00:19:49,629 --> 00:19:51,829
with the people we love.
599
00:19:51,931 --> 00:19:53,197
It's not visible to the naked eye,
600
00:19:53,299 --> 00:19:55,767
but this skirt has irregular stitching.
601
00:19:55,845 --> 00:19:57,293
I'll get the manager.
602
00:19:57,403 --> 00:20:00,204
But sometimes the things
that drive us nuts...
603
00:20:00,306 --> 00:20:01,405
You embarrassed of me?
604
00:20:01,507 --> 00:20:02,573
Always.
605
00:20:02,675 --> 00:20:05,542
...are also what makes them special.
606
00:20:05,645 --> 00:20:06,677
What ya doin' today?
607
00:20:06,779 --> 00:20:08,178
Whole lot of nothin'.
608
00:20:08,281 --> 00:20:10,414
Maybe I'll stop by.
We can do nothin' together.
609
00:20:10,516 --> 00:20:12,716
Sounds good to me.
610
00:20:12,818 --> 00:20:14,451
In the end, if we tackle
611
00:20:14,553 --> 00:20:16,687
life's biggest challenges together,
612
00:20:16,789 --> 00:20:19,657
there's no way we can lose.
613
00:20:20,893 --> 00:20:22,493
Mom's putting on her makeup.
614
00:20:22,595 --> 00:20:23,861
The finesse.
615
00:20:23,963 --> 00:20:26,182
The curl on the lip.
616
00:20:26,731 --> 00:20:28,613
Dad, hurry, it's almost kickoff!
617
00:20:28,668 --> 00:20:30,947
Maybe I should have tried out.
618
00:20:31,057 --> 00:20:32,064
Probably for the best.
619
00:20:32,092 --> 00:20:33,992
I've had a headache for 36 years.
620
00:20:34,094 --> 00:20:35,393
Oh, that's nothin'.
621
00:20:35,495 --> 00:20:38,596
I can turn this foot all the way
around like an owl's head.
622
00:20:38,698 --> 00:20:40,265
I got hit so hard on a crossing route,
623
00:20:40,367 --> 00:20:41,966
I was legally dead for 3 minutes.
624
00:20:42,068 --> 00:20:43,234
Try 5.
625
00:20:43,336 --> 00:20:45,203
I saw my granny on a cloud.
626
00:20:45,305 --> 00:20:46,738
She told me to rub some dirt on it
627
00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:48,172
and then go block somebody.
628
00:20:48,275 --> 00:20:49,907
I took a helmet to the stomach so hard,
629
00:20:50,010 --> 00:20:51,409
I no longer have a belly button.
630
00:20:51,511 --> 00:20:52,644
I don't have any toes.
631
00:20:52,746 --> 00:20:53,711
This isn't baldness.
632
00:20:53,813 --> 00:20:55,580
I got the hair tackled
right off of my head.
633
00:20:55,682 --> 00:20:57,915
Why do they let anyone play this game?
634
00:20:58,018 --> 00:20:59,978
- 'Cause it's the best.
- So many good memories. I love it.
46694
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.