All language subtitles for fack.ju.goehte.3.2017.german.1080p.bluray.x264-details.eng

Don't call me.

Fuck, school!

Is there breakfast?

Control freak calling.

What does she want now?

Hi, Lisi.
- Hi...

Are you going to call every morning
to see if I'm awake?

Elisabeth, you left him.

If you kick him out,
who'll look after me?

I want to graduate in Germany,
not in England. We had a deal.

Hey, pass the coffee, Martina.

It's Meike.
We were on a class trip together.

Oh, right

I have to go. Today's your field trip
to the Job Information Center.

Meeting point in 30 minutes
at the subway. It's in your calendar.

I have a calendar?

Take out the waste paper!

Yeah, right.

Dude, buy yourself some deodorant.
- Yeah, he reeks.

It's because I get upset all day long!

He's in puberty!
- I already use three deodorants.

It's just hormones.
It gets better when you reach adulthood.

Tickets, please.

Where are your monthly passes?
- I sold mine.

Lost
- Never had one.

Your tickets, please.

Never mind.

Nice one, bro!

Dear youths,

these are the computers
of the Job Information Center, or JIC.

Answer the questionnaire, and the
computer... Click, clack, ping!

Will suggest
a great job for you.

We're not from the Smurf village,
you can speak normally.

I ENJOY WORKING WITH CHILDREN...

MY DESK IS ALWAYS CLEAN...

I ENJOY WORKING WITH CHILDREN...

ONLY IF NECESSARY.

I LIKE ANIMALS.

CAREER SUGGESTION:
BUTCHER

Are these computers broken?
- No. Kids are often surprised

after proper analysis.

"Mechan..." "Mechantronic engineer"?

"Wastewater specialist".
- Lovely.

"Geriatric nurse"?
- Any questions?

No, I don't want that.
The computer's retarded.

"Police officer"!
- No, a cop?

Well, that's not...
- Lame!

It's all lame!

You call this motivational?
Can you reprogram it?

Experts developed
highly complex algorithms for this.

Experts for suicide or what?
I get "butcher."

Maybe you should've taken the test
before becoming a teacher.

I love my job.
I activate the elderly,

I help the elderly,
and I care for the elderly.

That means joint activities...

OMG, that wart!

She probably got it
from kissing an old man!

We'll all be old someday.
And you get so much in return.

Like money, or jewelry
when someone dies, for example.

I advise customers
on our latest entertainment products.

I have to keep up to date,

save the princess
or fight monsters in kill mode.

A lot of people say
video games make you nervous.

But I disagree.

Who got that job?

Be an entertainment specialist...
- I did.

Why does he get the cool job
and I get sewage plant?

What did you answer?
It's not fair!

Quiet! I've rarely seen
such an unmotivated class.

Chill.
- People think a sewage plant is boring.

This is you, bro.
- But it's a real adventure.

The operation of complex machinery

is only part of this challenging job.

That machine only has one button!
I have to press one button all day long?

One button can hold
a lot of responsibility.

Not that you're overchallenged, Danger.
- Fuck you, girl!

That is so destructive!

Sorry, but based on their grades

and our test results,
these jobs are a good match.

I don't want to change oil!
- Turn it off!

You're scaring me.
What kind of students are they?

They're a bit, well...

Aggressive?
- Sensitive.

We don't want to watch this anymore.

Your behavior is impossible!

Your school will be informed.
Someone will pay for this damage.

I doubt that any of you will ever become
a full-fledged member of society.

That counts for you, especially.

How was school?

You're not asleep, the beer's still cold.

Don't you have to prepare for class?

You realize this is silly, right?

Danger's phone has been off all day.
Did something happen?

This is Danger. I'm not here.
- Danger, it's me again.

This is my fifth message.
What's going on?

Hey, bitches.
- Hey, hustlers.

Thanks.

How long do I work today?

Till 6th period
- Dude, that long?

And the school inspector's coming today.
- Oh, god.

Hold on, those are your students!

Oh my god...

It's a double hour.
- So first hour is for breakfast, or what?

You promised to help them through A-levels.
They think this is as hard as it gets.

It's a comprehensive school,
any dummy can do it.

Hey!
You're ruining my rep.

What now?
- It's Leimbach-Knorr and the terrier.

We'll see if they're on time today.
- I doubt it.

If they tell Gerster, it's trouble.

Hey!

Guys!
- How will you get to school in 5 minutes?

Squeeze in! -We're not supposed to
ride with old people,

there's a bulletin about that.

The school inspector's coming today.
- Oh, how important.

You think I'll sit in class
while you burst condoms hang out here?

If our future jobs are in sewage plants
and old-age homes,

why keep going to fucking school?

Get in the car!

Arguing again?

It's just a game. Drive ahead.
- FYI: I don't have a license yet.

I haven't had one for eight years.
- Nightmare!

I know!

Out of the way!

Gonzo!

There you are!

All right, now I got you.

Come along, Gonzo.

How did you find him
using your phone?

I had him chipped. ls yours gone too?
- I have many, unfortunately.

Chip them or castrate them.
Anything else is a waste of time.

Come along, Gonzo!

That's nitpicking, Eckhart, isn't it?
But fine...

Sorry, regulations.

That's Mr. Miller's class.
We don't want to disturb.

I saw that.
- Oh? Good morning, Mr...

Such a great colleague.
We're finished, then?

We still need to see
the sanitary facilities.

Are you coming?
- Yes.

Graffiti was supposed to be removed.

Why this pressure?

You never used to take
these inspections so seriously.

Which way to the restrooms?
I don't see any signs anywhere.

The toilets don't work in the ladies'
room, so this is unisex lavatory

until we get the funding to renovate.
- Is someone smoking in here?

Open up at once!

Don't you have class?

"Mr. Miller. Science club..."

What are you working on?

Drones.

Problem.

I'm going to measure contaminant levels
in the chemistry rooms, then we'll talk.

How embarrassing!
In front of the school inspector.

One more time
and you're on cleaning duty!

When does your class start?
- Around 11, I guess.

Oh. When the big hand
points to "around", or what?

Seems you've already given notice mentally?
- Not just mentally.

Once the little twerps graduate,
I'm out of here.

Oh, no!
- See you later, Honey.

Puke one more time, you'll feel better.
- I'm a pro. Great party, wasn't it?

So awesome!
- You have your lunchbox?

Did you do your homework?

Ms. Enzberger!

Good morning, Sabine.
- I finished the letter.

OK. Love letter, check, check.
Read it to me.

"Dear Marvin, when..."

Bye.

Yup.

"Dear Marvin, when I see you,
I feel like I'm starvin'..."

Is the letter for Marvin, Sabine?

Yes.

"For a long time I've considered..."

Eckhart, you can't smoke in here.

No. Please use the broken jug.

I assume you're here
to talk about the Bunsen burners.

I need 30.
I'd take 20, but no less.

Bunsen burners
are the least of your worries, Gudrun.

Your school could be closed.
There's an official complaint.

From Erika?
- She's really pushing her school.

You share the catchment area,
and she has submitted several complaints

that your school has standards so low

that your kids graduate
without any effort.

Is this because
I wouldn't do dinner with you?

Fine, Italian.
- Gudrun?

My boss thinks you give problem kids
a free ride instead of helping them.

Even late bloomers
deserve a chance at A-levels.

Nowadays you can't
push everyone through. Gudrun!

The '80s are over.
Some don't belong in upper secondary.

They can't all be poets and thinkers.
Somebody has to set the letters,

and turn on the printing machine.

But Erika doesn't mention the refugees.

I have illiterate Syrian kids!
They don't get sent to Erika's school.

I get the headscarves,
she gets a school garden.

Gudrun, please. Gudrun!

Why did you apply for even more funds?

You should've focused
on meeting the requirements instead.

What would a school closure mean for me?

There's a position in Bremen,
and one in Brandenburg.

Brandenburg?

Next I'll get a right-wing voter district,
or what?

Don't get political,
you know this is on record.

I need to report something positive.
- There.

Our new Goethe statue. Bronze.
Culture media funding.

I didn't know Goethe smoked?
- It's Che Guevara's head.

We saved 2,000 Euros. The Cuban Embassy
canceled their statue order.

Well, you're the first to notice.

Shouldn't kids know
what Goethe looks like?

They only look as far as his knee.
People think it's a pen in his mouth.

Didn't Mr. Miller mention a drone?

Yes, I think so. Why?

It's flying past your window.

Help!

Mr. Miller, get your drone under control!

Hey, Justin Potter, how is it up there?
- Hasko, cut the crap!

Mr. Miller, help!

I'm coming!

Is my ass showing?

It's fine!

Awesome underwear, by the way.

God, you smell of alcohol!

I was at a bachelorette party.

Tie it down.

Mr. Miller?

For god's sake, not around the statue!

Shit, whose car was that?
- Mine!

Poor Che.

Fallen a second time.

It was your idea?

You wanted to
fly on a broom in underwear?

Yup.
- Hasko, really now,

you're in trouble so often.
This is bullying!

Well, not that often. Kids!

Always horsing around.
- Gudrun?

Eye to eye, please.

You knew the inspector was coming today.

That was the last straw.

Okay, some of you belong in my class.
Raffael,

eraser out of your nose
before Simon can hit...

Ms. Enzberger!
- Eraser operation inside my classroom.

What requirements do I need to meet?
- I was afraid you'd ask.

I only hope the other grade levels
are better.

I was against it.

What is that!

No, Ms. Leimbach-Knorr,

not with my files!
- Hey, are you crazy?

Okay, let's forget about Bunsen burners,

but this stays between us!
- Gudrun?

This is war.
How on earth can I hide this?

Eckhart!
- Out of my way!

Mr. Miller?
Did your students do this?

They're mad about the JIC.
- What are you talking about?

Turn that off!

Children, we had a technical incident.
Class is canceled today.

Damned stuff is so sticky.

Why did you become a teacher, anyway?
I've always wondered that.

It's just temporary.

With the money I earn
I'll open a beach bar one day.

The job fulfills me.
It feels good

to set things straight that go wrong
at home. You can still mold them,

make real people out of them.
- The way you're always hugging them.

They have diseases, and fleas.

I know.
The minute you have physical contact,

once one of those little shits hugs you,
that's it. Trapped. Teacher forever.

I always feel more like hitting them.

The Culture Minister is furious.

We have four weeks to comply, or our school
will be closed by the end of the year.

Outrageous!
- Will we get paid vacation then?

I want us to fight this!

Mr. Gundlach, must you really eat now?

The room always smells of sausage spread.
- It's my break.

You teach history,
you're always on break.

All you do is watch Spiegel TV.

But drinking is allowed, isn't it?

Who would build a drone with minors?

It worked fine. Who said
I had to make key racks and ashtrays?

The requirements seem quite extensive.
- We need a competition,

in which we get at least second place.
A student newspaper,

or math olympics. Good luck!

Eckhart wants an anti-bullying campaign
that goes viral, with a hashtag.

That one's on you, Ms. Enzberger.
You used the word 'bullying'.

You take care of it.
- Excuse me?

I get the feeling I'm being
thrown in the same pot as Mr. Miller.

Yes, and now there's fire under the pot.
- I said I was being bullied months ago.

The students, Ingrid.

So, do I get a budget? I already bought
toner and toilet paper out of pocket.

I was wondering why it's 4-ply.
- That's from you? Thank you.

Yes, you can take the earnings
from the refugee flea market.

Then we need a musical scholarship
for an 11th grader,

and five new registrations
for next school year,

to stay above
the minimum number of pupils.

That's absurd. How?

No, I'd rather apply elsewhere.

Or just retire, Ingrid.
That would benefit the next school, too.

Can we please stick together?
This is our school!

I saved the best for last:

A performance test for the 11th grade!
To see if they'll qualify for 12th grade.

If the average is too low,
the school closes.

Well, I doubt that'll work.
What if we just expel the dummies?

Haven't you been listening?
We're already short on students as it is.

So work with
the available student material.

It's really the pinnacle of irony

that you of all people were elected
Teacher of the Year.

It was a mistake to believe in you.

Mr. Miller?
If you don't meet the requirements,

I'll report you to the police for forgery,

lies, and endangering the minors

whom you shouldn't have been teaching
with your criminal record!

Because if I go to Brandenburg,

then you're going back to jail.

Now get cleaning.
It was your class, after all.

I want smart solutions.
Elite doesn't come about by force.

I want to see results in four weeks.

Oh my god!
What happened here, Mr. Miller?

Where were you yesterday noon?
- At my place. The JIC bummed us out.

That damned job center means nothing.

Now start cleaning. I don't want stress.
- Why should we clean?

Because you did it!
I got chewed out!

Well,

maybe you shouldn't have given us
so many empty promises.

Was Ms. Gerster very angry?

Get started,
then we have to talk.

There's a performance test for 12th grade.

What?
- No!

So all of a sudden it's not sure?

You promised!
- Then there's no use in coming at all!

Hello, there.
- Hi.

Ms. Drispenstedt from the School
Health Office is here to vaccinate you.

Hello, children.
- Huh? That's a first.

Because you've never been vaccinated.

It's a vaccine against ticks, meningitis

and mental disabilities.

Yes, Chantal, you might ask,
"Isn't it too late for that?"

Ow.
- See how slow he reacted?

Why does it say "D-O..."

... "Dog"?
- Dog.

That's short for? Who knows it?

I know! Doctor!

Super, Chanti!

You've learned all you need to know.
You're ready for life.

I googled it!
It's a device for implanting chips in dogs!

Are you crazy, Mr. Miller? Take it out!

No! What if I grow fur?

Stop him! Or do you want to be
the only one forced to go to class?

No, bro!
- Want to sit here all alone?

No, let go!
- Leave me alone!

Please don't, Mr. Miller!

The cocker spaniel is next.

No, no, please!

Hand these out!
- What is it?

The curriculum you have to work over.

But that's for teachers to do.
- You think I'd ruin my afternoon?

As of now, you come to school,
or I'll find you. No more fucking with me!

He just pretended to implant a chip
in our neck.

That would be totally illegal.

I use this one, too. "Chin chin chin."
- Doesn't it say "shine"?

You and your D- in English!

OMG! This moisturizer
smells like strawberry!

Is this illegal too? Or this?

Yuck, that's for men!
- Get to school!

Oh my god, you're so embarrassing!

From now on, either you're at school
on time, or this happens every morning!

Help!
- My pants are sliding down!

Same thing tomorrow?

No, no!

Seriously, you guys are a nightmare.

Like children that weren't aborted
in time. But I like you anyway.

I'll take care of you till you die.

Or till you graduate.

With A-levels, damn it!

I won't go back to jail because of you.

So nice to see you all here.

Here are your prospects.
What would you rather be?

You don't have to take these jobs.
You can change your destiny. Supposedly.

So what do you want to do with your lives?

Chantal, say something!
- Influencer.

That's not a job.

We never had this question in class!
- Yeah!

Because it's something you should know.

Don't you have any dreams?
- We do!

But not about jobs.

One of you has to do something musical.
- But I'm Christian.

Seriously?

You broke a GCS school rule,
and you endanger the community.

Fuck off.
- Your photo was sent to the principal.

Why don't you have any goals?
Why don't you fight?

What kind of kids are you?
- What kind of teacher are you?

It's your fault
if we're 'prospectless'.

Miller's students need success.
I always say "Awesome!"

"You are awesome!"
It's all about love and affirmation.

Just getting them interested.
It's not about winning.

Yes, it is. In three weeks
is the newspaper competition.

I've brought some copies
of the "Class Fart".

Awful..

Who's going to deal with it?

Can't I do Science Club?

No, the deadline has passed.

There's an art scholarship program,
but only for outstanding achievements.

I can just see your class,

painting a giant selfie
with a Picasso filter.

Very funny.

How can I put any of them in a competition?
They're so unmotivated!

Mr. Miller,
don't use up all the oxygen, okay?

Who's going
to the elementary school tomorrow?

Mr. Miller can go.
- Sure.

What for?

Because the kids all want to go
to other schools.

Because no one recommends us!
Go there and recruit a few students.

Do an info-event, or whatever,

just make sure they tell their parents
how great the GCS is.

Miller, GCS.

So you're Mr. Miller.

Welcome to elementary school.
- Yeah, I'm thrilled.

We were going outside to collect leaves.
But surely you've prepared something?

Are they Siamese twins?

Kevin, I said to leave the glue
on the teacher's desk.

Show Mr. Miller to the boys' room.
He'll help you clean up.

Hold on, I'm not an errand boy.
- Well, I've got other things to do, myself.

So if there's a problem...

don't call me.

Where's the restroom?

This way.
- Ow!

Shut up or I'll cut off your braids.

What are you grinning at?
- My sister is transsexual.

What can I say?

She wants a penis.
I said she can have mine.

But my mom said it won't grow back,

and that she shouldn't watch
so many series on Amazonia.

Very interesting,
but you're slobbering on my hand.

Will we cuddle later on?
- No, I've been to jail already.

Now let me take a piss, you leech.

It's like the house
of the fucking seven dwarfs here.

Why do you do that?

I'm shaking it off so your teacher
will want to put it in her mouth later.

Okay, so who knows
what their next school will be?

Heinrich Böll!
- Schiller High School!

Schiller High School.

Ever heard of
the Goethe Comprehensive School?

No.

My brother goes there.
He gets beat up because he's so fat.

It's a really shitty school.
- Well, uh... Come on.

Look, I have really cool stickers
from the GCS.

To put on your schoolbags.

Calm down,
are you from the East or what?

Hey, one is enough!

Awesome!

Just tell your parents I was nice,
our teachers are great,

and the GCS is awesome.

What's all that?
- We chose our professions.

I'm going to be a molecular biologist!

ARCHITECT...
MOLECULAR BIOLOGIST

You all know
what you want to be later?

Racecar driver!
- Soccer player!

Architect!
- Singer!

Want to see our work clothes?
- Yeah!

Now write down what's so great
about your job, with lots of enthusiasm.

All right?

Finished.
- Great.

Later we'll guess
who wrote what. So make sure you sign

with these wrong names up here.

Funny names.
- Just do it.

Okay.

Architect, huh?

WHAT I WANT TO BECOME

No date!
Erase the date.

We're not allowed to use ink erasers.

Well, today you are.

At the GCS,
students are allowed to use ink erasers!

I love that school already.
Are all the teachers there refugees?

Oh my god, where did you get this?

I got them from your elementary schools.

To remind you
that you weren't always so unmotivated.

You were excited!

My nickname was Danger back then already?

It wasn't.

It says so here.
- Let's see.

How cute you drew yourself, Chanti.

What did you want to be?
- Journalist... journalist!

But why did I give myself black hair?

Maybe you were drawing me.
- Yeah!

Remember?
- Yeah.

Nice.

Shit, I remember when we did this.
I was so excited.

About what?
- About being a singer.

Yeah, right.

"Whenever I sing to my teachers,
they get tears in their eyes..."

Because it was so bad!
" ... and tell me I should study music."

Wow, Zeynep.
- Yeah, but I guess I stopped at some point.

But now you'll stick with it, right?

"Ar-chee..."

tect". Archeetect.

It's so crazy that you forget this.

We used to have dreams, bro.

Okay, here's the deal...
- I know I was typing in 3rd grade.

Something crawled into your ear.

If we set our minds
to achieving your dreams,

and if you study for that stupid test,

I won't lose my job, and the GCS
won't be closed. Are you in?

Yes!

We'll show them
you'll amount to something after all!

Yes!
.Oh my god.

I'm going to be a singer...

CHOIR CLUB

ART CLUB

SCHOOL RADIO

And now, for you, my favorite song...

She's so bad.

Hi, I'm Chantal.

Are you the other editors.
- Uh-huh.

I could write something about beauty.

Do whatever you want.
We're only here because there's a TV.

Whatever.
I'm the head reporter now.

And I hate drugs.

Joke.

"And then you finish it off
with a touch of glitter."

But do you think that will win a prize?
It's pretty superficial.

We've been chilling for quite a while.
I mean, without any action.

Quiet! The film is on.

We've already watched
Lord of the Rings so often!

I'll grow hair on my feet
if I see another Hobbit.

In the life of an Elf.
I'm patient.

I can wait!

Ploppi? Ploppi, come on.

With tongue, just once.

The Arkenstone!

It is precious to you beyond measure.

No, I can't. Too much saliva.

If we can never have sex,
we'll have to break up.

The way you said...

... "Sex"!

Petting, at least?
- With a finger?

Yes, for example.

That would be unhygienic.

Into someone else's body.
That can't be right, Chantal.

Even the word: "petting."

Chantal?

OK, art club members,

look around and gather inspiration
for your own...

well, art.

I want one of you
to get a scholarship, okay?

Great exhibit.

"Insert... wo-words!"

Oh!

No touching!
- Oh. But it says to fill it out.

That's the title.
- Why do artists do that?

It expresses something.
- But what?

Why can't they just say what they mean?

Because they can't say it any other way.

They're like you, they don't
have enough words for a full sentence,

so they use paint and glue instead.

Think about what you want to say.

If he has anything to say.

I wonder where the bistro is?

Think about what you see, take notes,

I expect great presentations.

I considered studying art history.

I studied art history,
then decided to be a teacher.

Really?
- It doesn't pay.

What is this?
Are you crazy? Get this off me at once!

Ms. Leimbach-Knorr, stop!
- Help! I bet this was Daniel!

No respect for teachers.

Outrageous! It was you!

I'll get you back for this, I tell you.

Now help me get this off, will you!

A plastic piece of shit.

OCCUPIED

Strange.

BIG BUSINESS IN THE COLD WAR

Here we have an unusual,

yes, somehow angry installation.

"Piece of Shit".

Next to it, the artist examines
the interiors of intellectual bourgeoisie.

Note above all the poignant irony

in the magazine titles in this artwork.

The topics of these magazines
are biting commentary

on the zeitgeist of the '80s...

It's occupied, girl!

Number one or number two?

PUPIL SHITS ON MODERN ART

I'm getting congratulations on this.

Our colleagues at Schiller are loving it.
- The toilet looked real.

What about me?
I almost suffocated.

Luckily, you're still very much alive.

In my day,
Daniel would've been suspended.

In your day they also had bunkers.
- Now, really!

This isn't about you, Ingrid,
it's about the school!

It's never about me!

The ice is getting thin.

What about the newspaper?
- Chantal is on it,

now it has a double cover.

I know. Most of the articles
are interviews with herself.

Not exactly award-worthy.

We'll see. I secretly bought
all the copies to motivate her.

The Ministry wants results,

not students shitting in museums.

And what do you know about motivation?

You're not even properly qualified.

Why do you always criticize me?

Fact is, I'm the one
who has to deal with those morons.

Can't you say something nice for once?
- You have nice hair.

Maybe I'd actually be a good teacher
if someone here believed in me.

How about a demonstration lesson?
No problem. What do you want this to be?

A guest appearance, or a profession?

Well.

Smaller, Danger.

Why not do your demonstration lesson?

Don't you want to find out
if you can do it?

Shut up and make lunch.

Okay. "German remedial class".
Welcome to Germany.

We're here to improve your German.
Let's begin with your names.

My name is Abet, and since...

since two months I am here.

My name is Afuk, and...

I am in Germany since three months.

My name's Danger
and I've been here for 17 years.

Why he here?
- Yeah, why?

Your German is as bad
as these coconut pickers.

But you didn't have to swallow
liters of water to get here

Hey, Justin is jumping off the roof!

Jump!

This is for all those
who don't believe in superpowers!

Justin!

Justin? Justin!

I didn't fly, did I?
- How many fingers?

Three?
- Can't be that bad.

My leg hurts a bit.

Hello.

Hey. When is your mom coming?

Soon.

She's still working.
But I told her

it doesn't hurt so much.

That's not true, is it?

Okay. Yeah.

Justin. Hello.

Hello.
- Mom!

Biggi!

I felt sorry for him.
- Now it happened. You want to be a teacher.

Knock it off.
- Teacher. He's a teacher,

and he always will be.
- No way.

Uh... yes, you will.

Really?
- I'm sure it can solve our problem.

It's cyber technology
from a computer game.

I made some changes.

The sensors should simulate
real physical touch.

What kind of sensors?
- At primary and secondary sexual organs.

And through the goggles we can
see each other as 3-D models.

Is it a size XXS?

Powering up.

Now put on the goggles.

Oh, Ploppi!

Oh. No, Chantal!
- Ploppi!

Okay, children.

Not now, Grandma.

I brought you some cookies.

Playing computer games?
- Yes. Bang, bang.

Pow.

Won't you try a cookie?
- Now's a bad time.

What are those funny things?

Oh, boom.

I'll put one in for you, sweetheart.

Are they yummy?
- Chantal?

Do you want one too?

If it's so fun, maybe we can
play it with Grandpa sometime.

Sure, Grandma.

We just had sex with your Grandma.

Don't get me wrong, Ploppi.
The fantasy films and chips are great,

but I don't want to have cybersex
for the rest of my life.

I didn't even want to date you,
but you were so dominant.

Sorry, I thought you wanted it too.

Don't you ever
want to touch a girl for real?

Is there someone else?

Ploppi! Tell me!
- Chantal...

Tell me.
- No, get off!

Or I'll have to kiss you.

No! There was a girl!

Amrei.

We were in the math olympics together,
and she was so good with numbers.

And she loved to speak Elvish.

Was she so ugly,
or why don't you want to date her?

She has a clubfoot
and fell into a depression.

Now she doesn't call back.

But I wrote her a love poem once.
In binary code.

But I never sent it off.

Get off. Off!

I don't think she even likes me.

It really smells like
primary numbers here.

Anyway, I don't need my pussy
wired every week.

So I thought I'd help Ploppi
hook up with that Amrei.

If she's disabled too,
it's a perfect match.

Is she that emo chick from Schiller
who got sent to therapy

for biking on the highway?
- I'll contact her.

She won't talk to you.
They hate pretty kids.

You still have those ugly boots?
The ones that look like they're Hitler's?

Oh, you have them on.
Can I borrow them?

Gimme a smoke.
- Don't have any.

Mr. Miller, no!

See you.
- No! -Chill!

Not those.
- What's the matter?

Not those, Mr. Miller.

Mr. Miller!

Man, is this crack?

Since when do you smoke crack?
Seriously?

Another one.
- This is not good at work.

Just one more drag.
- You used to be addicted!

Just one.

No!
- Run!

Drugs are not good for you!

Something bad has happened!
Mr. Miller took crack and now he snapped!

Have you seen Chantal?

Find Chantal for me, okay?
- What?

Come on, let's find her.

Go.
- I see.

We're a team!
- We have to get him to come down.

But how?

Not with an injection.

I don't have that with me.

My mom took that away.

Diazepam is the only quick remedy.
He'll be calm, and with a pulse.

But it's a rectal suppository.
- How will we stick it up his ass?

Well, it's doable.

You assholes!
Untie me now!

Whoever does it is going to get it back.
- Gerster can't see him like this.

Danger, pull his pants down.
- What if he farts?

Then we won't smell your sweat.

It's not my fault.
The doctor said it's testastatrone!

Oh my god, it's huge.
- I'm out!

I'll do it.

Grandma always puts Nivea on it.
- Gimme your lip gloss.

No, it was expensive!
Gigi Hadid uses it on Snapchat!

Go ahead, use it up!

It's important.

Mr. Miller? Relax your anus.

Ow! Chanti!

Then you have to make him swallow it.

But I don't know
how that will change the effect.

You fuckers, gimme the shit
and I'll forget this...

It's the drug speaking, not you.

Now swallow it.
- Or suffocate!

You guys are sick.

Fuck off!

Mr. Miller!

He's out of it!

What's going on?

Ms. Gerster's coming!
- No!

Danger?

You're killing him!

Mr. Miller?

I changed my clothes!

Mr. Miller...
- Hey!

Hi.
- Hey.

So?
'So?

Now don't be silly.
I need a few signatures for insurance.

My pleasure.
- Good.

Why are you sweating?

Because it's hot.
- Uh-huh.

A hot topic.

We're on it.
We're in the fast lane!

So motivated, huh?
- Most def. Hey, Gerster!

Careful, okay?

How about that demonstration lesson?
- Yeah, right.

Demonstration lesson!
Demonstration lesson!

Demonstration lesson!
- Are you serious?

I'm a good teacher.

I can do it. Really!

I want you to be proud of me.
- Well...

Yes. Mr. Miller,

I'm glad you see this
as something long-term.

Very well, I'll check the schedule.

Yes!

Wake up!

Yeah.

Demonstration lesson!

Oh, god.

Out!

No, not you! Where did you get it?
Do you take it?

What are you yelling for?
- She had crack with her.

Why didn't you tell me?
We have procedures for this.

How long have you been taking the drug?
- Not at all.

The cigarettes
are from my mom's boyfriend.

Is that so?

I... I steal them from her sometimes
so she can't smoke with him.

She scares me when she smokes it.
She trips out.

I don't want to be the one
with the crack mom.

This frazzles me out more than the finals
of Germany's Next Top Model.

There's something else. Mr. Miller.
- What else?

I stole 250 Euros
from Ms. Enzberger's cubicle.

Who cares?

Oh, uh, well...

Why?
- Stealing just sucks.

I'll pay it back from the competition,
I swear.

What did you buy with the money, make-up?
- No!

No.

My mom wants me to pay her rent
as long as I'm not working.

She doesn't want me to go to school.

She says it's wasted on me.
- Yeah.

This is it.

If I freak out, you just give a cough.

Hey, by law she's old enough
to leave school.

Maybe no one told you, but not everyone
quits after 9th grade.

You watch your tone of voice.
Who do you think you are, anyway?

You can't fool kids into thinking
they can pass their A-levels.

I'll tell you something:

My sister, my half-sisters,
the other half-sister,

all my cousins and my 2nd cousin,
Chantal's dad, that is,

none of them graduated
And we're doing just fine.

We went and got our hands dirty.

We learned how to work.
And so can she.

Mom, I can help out after school.
- No! Young lady, we talked about this!

I'm so fed up with this crap!

Always hanging out at school,
doing nothing, earning nothing.

I have to support her.
But the fact is,

we all know
she's too dumb for A-levels.

And now fuck off.
- You want me to fuck off?

You think I can't handle you intellectuals?
- You can fuck off!

You want me to sue you?
- Yeah, go right ahead.

But it smells like
you spent your legal budget on liquor.

Your breath reeks so bad,
I don't dare light a cigarette.

Mom? Mom, chill.

Is this the thanks I get, huh?
For all the money I spend on you?

For feeding your fat ass at my counter?

Is this how...
- Hey!

I didn't want off-duty stress,
but this is going too far.

Shut your trap, you...

Now you listen to me:
If Chantal comes to school

with a single bruise,
or if you throw one more thing at her,

the public health department
will pay you a visit,

and your filthy, piss-reeking pub
will be shut in no time.

And if your boyfriend
brings drugs home again,

or takes drugs in front of Chantal,

he will stop by with some buddies
and burn the whole place down.

Well.

What a productive
parent-teacher talk that was.

I think it's time for lunch. Chantal?
- What are we having?

Pizza.
- Vegetables would be good.

And vegetables.

Hi, Zeki.

Hey, Jackie.
Make me a Bloody Mary, will you?

I'm still drunk.

I always thought,
what good is Judo?

Judo, Judo, Judo, I thought,
it's way too physical!

Can you buckle up, please?

Remind me to let you take over
my parent conferences.

Two-fifty.

Whassap? I want to party tonight.

She's crazy. She just dodged
a beer glass, now she wants to party.

Are you in a WhatsApp group with them?
- I tapped Chantal's phone.

Someone has to check on them.

Party at the Fantasia tonight!

They're going out drinking again.
They're supposed to study!

Time for a little lesson.
- The Fantasia, huh?

Last time I was there I was 16. Can I come?
- No!

Please! I could use some cool music.

I don't want to be seen with you.
- I don't believe you.

Even teachers like to party,
even teachers have time off,

even you can come along.

Or maybe not.

ID, please.
- Yes, of course.

That was a joke. This is Paco.

ID, huh?

Your retards are here,
the DJ is briefed.

Strippers use the second door, please.
Thanks.

That's Amrei, by the way.

That's her?
I don't see what's wrong with her foot.

You only see it when she walks.

Man, the music sucks!

You're the one who wanted to go out
once more before it's over.

Why are you such a buzz kill?
- Did you think anyone would talk to you?

Oh, Amrei!

Now look.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, she's cute...

but not cuter than me.
- No.

But tell your friends to keep an eye on you
when you take it.

Yeah.
Can I still screw when I'm on it?

For sure. Like a rabbit.

There.
- Oh.

Let him in, he's with me.

Go ahead, kid.

Where are the drinks?
- Burak, how much did you drink?

He grinded up on me from behind again.

Are you an alcoholic or what?
Gimme that!

Hey party people! What's up?
I thought you're studying?

OMG, go away. You're the oldest
person here. That's so embarrassing!

Oh, thank you.

What? I thought we could hang out a bit.

Teachers and students.
Dream team, quality time. Huh?

I used to party here. I loved it!

Wanna do a selfie? This is so cool!
- OMG, let's go.

Me too!
- No!

Yes!
'No!

I don't feel anything.
Shit!

Stop embarrassing us!

Short time-out!

Chantal, Daniel,
Burak and Zeynep!

Thanks for partying
with your teachers tonight!

You are my absolute favorite students!

Okay, time to go home
and do your homework!

Britney!

Biggi!

I am Britney!

No, I'm Britney, you are Madonna.

Hey, Biggi!

Hey, Madonna!

When is your new record out?

Tomorrow is school.
What was in that drink?

Why are you shouting?
- The music!

There is no more music, you're tripping!

It's not your music!
- Hey, I'm Britney!

Get in!
- I don't want to.

Danger, Laura, get in the car!

Worst evening ever.

Hey, where do I live?

It's so dangerous
as an attractive young woman,

people are always putting something
in your drink.

Miller and Enzberger,
to the Principal's office, ASAP-issimo.

It's like with George Orwell.
- You get used to it.

This is trending.
And no matter how often I watch it,

I can't seem to find
the pedagogical value in it.

I think someone was...
- Pardon?

Impersonating me.
- Were you on drugs?

And why would you do such a thing?
- Now the whole surprise is ruined,

It's part of the anti-bullying seminar.

Ms. Enzberger needed a hashtag
for the seminar, and this is part of it.

To make the students aware of how fast
such embarrassing videos can spread online.

And then reconsider their behavior?

I'm holding the seminar?
We have to report the theft.

If you get the cops involved, she'll be
kicked out of school and that's it.

What is the hashtag?
- "Stop shaming".

"Stop WebShaming", I think it was.
- Yeah, right.

You have a budget for the seminar.
Weren't you going to get an expert?

What a little busy bee.

Wants to do everything herself.

All right, fine.

Zeynep! Amrei is meeting someone.
Yeah, I'm on it.

The emos are chilling at the cemetery.

I'll call back later.
- Isabell!

Are you crazy? Isabell?

Let go of me!

You don't understand a thing!

I'm meeting someone!
- You come back! I want you to fight!

And I'm taking away your computer
for good!

Are you Isabell?

Yeah.
- Wow...

It's so strange meeting for the first time
in person, after all the chatting.

Yeah, so what's up?

I mean, I'm in such a shitty mood again.

I have the mobile home. My grandpa
didn't notice that I stole the keys.

I have everything for the party, too.

You don't look so sick.
- You're saying that to a cancer patient?

Oh, Amrei!

Oh, god, I'm sorry.
I know it doesn't always show.

That's okay.
I'm wearing heavy make-up.

Ow.

Tell me if my nose starts to bleed.
That happens sometimes.

I really liked your poem about Hades.

That we'll all go to Hades
and be free at last.

Yeah, thanks. So sweet of you.

I have everything you need
to hide out until it's time.

No more online contact. It's safer.

But next Wednesday we meet at the pier.

Here's the address. If it gets too cold,
call and I'll bring you some blankets.

I'll do that.

Come on, Ines.

See you soon, companion.

Yeah... take it easy.

That's such a beautiful gravestone.

I'd like one just like it.

So, Ploppi,

they want to run away,
to a town... I forgot the name.

They want to be free.
I think they have problems at home.

Chantal, you have to stop them.
- Relax, I'm on it.

I want to find out a little more.
Maybe I can interview them.

"Runaways in Private".
Do you think that could be a good article?

When will you give her my letter?
- OMG, it's always about you!

Piss off!
Hey, piss off!

Is this the Paralympics or what?

Get her, Mats!

You jerk!

Who was that?

Good morning! Okay.
- Morning.

Sure, there are anti-bullying experts
for 250 Euros.

But we teachers
keep getting new challenges.

Bullying, some of you might think,

is something we can deal with
in the schoolyard.

No, we can't.
We'll deal with it here today, together.

Remember the annual sports event,

when Ariane ran the 200-meter race
like crazy?

She left everyone in the dust,
right Ariane?

Yup.
- But she stopped, just before the finish.

I shouted, "Ariane, keep running!
You're winning!"

And what did you say?
- "No, no, no."

Ariane waited.
She wanted everyone to finish together.

She took her best friend's hand and
finished with her. Then what did you say?

"We'll do it together."
- We'll do it... together.

We will do it together!

That's the line I want you to remember
after this seminar is over.

Okay, who wants to share
what it feels like when people bully you?

So everyone knows what it means.

Who has the courage?

Take your time.

Oh, man!
- My eyes are burning!

Maybe not that much time.
- Me.

Okay, wow.
Come on up.

Mr. Miller!

Tell us who mistreated you
in the teachers' room.

Well, there's this kid who...

He annoys me.
- Danger.

I didn't like him,
because he's weak and he's afraid.

Horrible traits.

The kid I'm talking about is...

No, I won't tell you.

He lived in an orphanage
after his mother died.

He's too skinny, looks like a gypsy,
and he stinks.

Danger!
- Now we know who it is.

He doesn't shower because the older kids
stuff soap in his mouth,

and hold the showerhead in his face
until he can't breathe.

At school no one wants to sit next to him
because he's dirty.

He doesn't wash his T-shirt because it
has a sweat stain that looks like Tupac.

Everyone calls him gypsy.
No one asks how he's doing.

Then he starts smoking.
But not cigarettes, crack.

He thinks it makes him cooler.

He just wants to be part of the game, or
have a teacher ask if everything's okay.

But no one asks,
and no one notices anything.

Not even when he starts skipping school.
He could vanish and nobody would notice.

And why don't you like the boy?
- I said I didn't like him.

Because I don't like to be
reminded of him.

But I think they would've thought twice
if they'd heard his story or why he stinks.

Because he's afraid
to use the showers.

Or that they tattooed a penis
on his shoulder with a knitting needle,

which is why he won't take part in sports.

I didn't like him because
he never learned how to ask for help.

He could've found his way more easily,

and become something other than...

a teacher.

Who's he talking about?
- Why do you think I have this lame tribal?

But I'll pay for anyone's tattoo
who has a penis on their shoulder.

Okay, I broke the ice.

Thank you, Mr. Miller.

Who else dares to speak up?

Come on. Go ahead.

Be brave.

Justin. Come on up.

At the speed of light!

Justin, what's the worst thing
the others did to you?

They tied me to the drone
in my underpants.

Then they posted pictures of it
in the WhatsApp group and added me,

so I would see the photos.

And everyone threatened to do it again

if I told anyone.

I have to add that your WhatsApp groups
are really anti-social, guys!

I was photographed from behind
picking something up.

That was not okay.
My ass looked huge.

My mom wanted to call the police,

but I said I'd handle it on my own,
because I'm not a baby anymore.

And I told you to take it off Facebook.

And you said you would...
if I jump off the roof

shouting "I can fly."

And my bone was sticking out,

and I didn't even cry.

I thought someone
might visit me at the hospital,

but not even my best friend came.

Because they told him
that if he visited me...

You said we were best friends!

Willy,

why didn't you stick by me?
- I'm sorry.

I'd just like to know what it's like
when everyone sticks together.

Like in the movies, where the outsiders
are always cool in the end.

Show them why you wear the mask.
Go on.

My aunt has one, too.
A 'branding' or something.

Sorry, that wasn't cool of us.

Hey!

Let's all get undressed! For Justin!

Yeah, we'll all take a photo together.
In underwear, too!

Yeah! Come on, everybody!
- Let's do it!

Please remember to use the hashtag
"StopWebShaming",

for which Chantal and I
already made a little video.

I'm getting a boner
with all these naked chicks.

OMG, you didn't really say that!

If you get any closer to me with your
sweaty smell, I swear I'll kill you.

Are you bullying me for having feelings?
What did you just learn?

Please accept my penis!

Go away, dude!

Oh. god!

Okay kids, everyone can get dressed again.
That's enough, thanks.

Thanks.

Hello! I have something to say, too.

So far. it's been all about the ugly kids,
and the retar... Okay, never mind.

I wanted to say
that it's a little like bullying

when you've been at the school
for so many years, like me,

and suddenly you realize

that none of the teachers
believe in you.

You know?

Like, if nobody believes in you at home,
and you realize it's the same at school,

somehow it's as if the door to the future
is being held shut,

and you can't get through.

Chanti, you badass!
- Yeah, Chanti!

Well,

I'll admit it's sometimes hard to believe
that people can rise to the occasion.

But if you or anyone else here writes
a very good article for the school paper,

that would really help our school. So yes,
I do hope, and I believe in you, Chantal.

Thank you, Ms. Gerster.

Goodness, please.
- Just a sec.

Okay, and now let's take a photo
for #StopWebShaming.

Smile...

Ooopsl
- Honestly, Chantal!

Ms. Enzberger, this is a bit too cozy.
It's awkward.

Okay, kids, that was it.
Back to class.

I learned a lot, I hope you did too.
Bye.

Interview, Class Fart,
Leimbach-Knorr tells all.

Without Spanx, would you wear
two sizes larger, yes or no?

Would you rather date
a 16- or an 18-year-old?

Did you know Hitler personally?

Excuse me?
- If so, what was he like?

You're nuts.
- How often do you have sex?

You think these yellow press questions
will win the Class Fart an award?

What is this?

You will not print this.
- The editorial board already approved it.

There's no one on the board besides you.

Ingrid, since I've been in charge,
the Class Fart is super-successful!

We're not on a first-name basis.

Leave now and you'll get nominated
for "worst teacher outfit".

Successful?

Mr. Miller secretly buys every single copy.

Who do you think wants to read this?
- Yeah, right.

Check the boiler room.
He wants to impress Ms. Gerster,

so he makes up all kinds of nonsense.

You know what you really need?
Someone to tell you how it really is.

You and your hoodlums will never
pass the performance test.

These ashtrays!

OMG, no! She's lying.

Look what I found in the boiler room!

You're lying!
'No!

And those essays weren't ours either!
He just made it all up to look good!

I'm a crappy journalist!

And you're all failures too.

We'll never amount to anything. Never.

But I can sing. That part was true.
- No, you can't!

Why would he do that?
- He wants us to be motivated.

So we think we're real people
and pass the performance test.

So we'll study and stuff.

But we'll never be normal people!

We're damned to be
what came out at the JIC!

Geriatric nurse!

I'm having a negative orgasm.

Archeetect always felt weird to me.

ART CLUB EXHIBIT

It looks like a baby made mine.

I don't want to be a baby anymore!

I hit the wrong note there.

That wasn't professional to you?
- Calm down, bro.

We shouldn't have trusted him.

Mr. Miller, you butthead!
Come on out!

Thanks for all the lies!

Those weren't our childhood essays!

You fucked with us!
We're failures!

Fuck school!

Why isn't it burning?
- Give me a real bottle!

Are those Molotov cocktails?

Yeah, in a plastic bottle.
- We don't have a future!

You said
you'd let me out in front of school.

This is so embarrassing!

Why are the Smurfs on your iPod?

Turn it off! It's my sister's!

Stupid kid!

Here.

Daniel, don't overdo it!

Or what? Huh?

I thought you could use a little
motivation. Now don't freak out!

You were the only teacher who told us
the truth, but you're like all the rest!

We want the answers to the exam, or else
we'll tell the police everything about you!

Hey!

What... what was that?

Theater Club!

Shit.

Have a good lunch!
- You too!

FEDERAL MINISTRY
OF EDUCATION

WRONG PASSWORD

Eckhart, this is Erika
from Schiller School.

The test better be hard.
No more gifts to Gudrun.

STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL

And please set the graduation assignments.
Other states already have theirs.

Oh, shut up.

PERFORMANCE TEST - GERMAN

READING ASSIGNMENTS

"Faust II"?
Oh god, there's more than one part.

This is child abuse.

"THE GODFATHER"

At least I know that one.

And then, all of a sudden,
my copy card was blocked.

So I call the technician,

but of course no one comes!
- Really?

So I took apart the whole machine,
piece by piece.

We're looking for Mr. Miller.

His Art Club applied for
a scholarship.

That's me.

Oh.

We'll have a look at the pieces.
Where's the exhibit?

Upstairs, but...
- Oh, upstairs!

But I'm not sure if...

Niki di Saint Fail!

What do you think?
- You watched 'Ghost' too often.

There's no sign on that one.
- Danger!

It fell over.

What's the piece called?
- What's he on about?

"What's He On About." That's funny.

We'd like to add it to the catalogue.
- Why?

We want to give you a scholarship.
And you'll get a museum subscription.

Maybe you can study art after graduation.
- But I'm not good at school.

Doesn't matter,
as long as you graduate.

What you've done here is special. Angry.

And sad.

In schools we mostly see conformist crap.
This packs a punch.

Dope.

Eew, fish!

Awesome job, Danger.
- Right on, bro.

So who's dumb now? Boo-hoo-hoo.

"We're failures. You lied to us.
Blah-blah-blah." Look at Danger.

What he can do you can do too.

But see if I care. Here,
the answers for the performance test.

Copy it, memorize it,
begin your lives with a lie.

I know what I'm talking about.

You can get away with it until your 20s,
then it's all downhill.

You'll never know what you're capable of
if you don't even try.

School is the only place you can rise
above yourselves. If you don't get it here,

then life will fuck you over.

If the door to your future
is being held shut,

then kick it in, Chantal!

Your decision.

The answers!
- Wait!

Why?

Mr. Miller!

I know I'm good!

I believe in myself,
and I believe you!

Go study.
- Okay!

But how do you do that?

What?
- We want to know how to study.

In return, we'll help you in sports class.

For each class, there's a book
with reference material in the back.

For every book there's another book?

Yes, Chantal.
- And how do you find them?

Under the author's last name.

Oh, wow.

So many letters!

And words!

Are you losers?
- No!

Are you dumb?
- No!

Do you believe in yourselves?
- Yeah!

I'm excited, guys.
- With adverb?

Deeply excited.
- We're so good.

Good luck. Jammer is active.
No more googling. We start now!

11TH GRADE PERFORMANCE TEST

Oh my god!

Mr. Miller!

We can stay at school
and try for A-levels.

That's right.

And I'm working on the best article.
- Very good.

We all passed!

Mr. Miller had known it.

Always this past-Heidi-Klum-perfect.
- Huh?

Nothing, never mind.

Mr. Miller.

Ploppi, Ploppi,
give me the love letter.

Don't bend it.

"0-1-1-0..."

Whatever.

So this is your grandpa's?
- Yes.

A friend of mine
drives without a license too.

So cute, with all the candles!

Uh... okay.

I'm so glad we're taking this journey.
- Yeah, there's something I need to say.

To freedom.
- Girls, you sure drink a lot, but okay.

Cheers to beers
and legs behind your ears.

Yuck, what is this?

Emo Colada, or what?

Okay, no homo!

Hades, here we come. Together.

Yeah, what I wanted to say is,

I can't go to Hades with you, because

I studied so hard for this one test,
and, yeah, I passed!

Besides. I have something for you
from Ploppi.

Who's that?
- Etienne.

My companion.

How do you know him?
- So. I suggest

that we talk a bit about your problems,

along the lines of "smart people can be
bummed too", then we'll take some photos.

That heater sure stinks, huh?

Anyway, maybe we could take a picture
for my article too,

showing you meeting Ploppi,
where it looks like

he's stopping you just before
you run away from home. Yeah?

So, question...

Hey, this is really kicking in.
- Isabell?

We just drank a toast.
We're going to die.

I thought this is
a booze cruise to Hades?

Hades is the Greek underworld.
What did you think?

Uh, I thought it's a party location
in Bulgaria.

You're having delusions.

OMG, you want to kill yourselves!

Honey, we agreed on all this in the forum.

Remember, Isabell? You have cancer.
- But he loves you!

No one loves us.

And once we're asleep, it'll all go fast.

No, but I don't want to die.
I don't have cancer!

It's okay, you're just scared.

That's normal. But you said
we have to give each other strength,

to go through with this together.
Now be strong, Isabell.

But you have to read the love letter.

This is nice.

What was in that drink?

No...

Siri...

Ploppi.

Ploppi, Etienne.

Any new developments?
- I don't want to...

die.

Are you gonna do that the whole drive?
- I'm afraid so.

I have to imitate the engine.

It has to be here somewhere.

Where?
- Take the next right.

When 50% of hemoglobin molecules
bind with carbon monoxide,

you lose consciousness.

Turn them over.

Get them out.

The next one.

They're only unconscious.

Who are you screwing?

Well, I can't... won't answer that.

I wish I could be unconscious too.

I'm here. Everything will be fine.

Is this a dream?

You can give me a hug too,
you know, for not being dead.

I don't wanna catch herpes.

Can you tell me what that was all about?
- No idea.

Dead Emo Society? I didn't realize
they wanted to kill themselves.

They're nuts.
- No more Netflix for you!

I shouldn't have stopped taking my meds.
I'm so embarrassed about this.

I should have given you the letter

much earlier.

Binary code.

Oh, Etienne!

Such sweet words!

Yeah, Advanced Elvish, or what?

When are your parents finally coming?

Just so it's clear:

This was not for nothing.

You owe me one,
you suicide bitches.

I wanted to hook you up,
not kick the bucket.

Oh god, who dressed me in this?

Hey Zeynep, I need my make-up
and some fresh clothes. I'm going live.

No, girl, not Insta-live.
Oldschool live.

The group of suicidal kids
was saved by a teacher

who apparently had his students chipped
as a last resort against truancy.

How do you feel?
- A salary bonus would be nice.

Do you enjoy being a teacher?
- No, but I try to hide it.

He chipped us so he can find us
whenever we fuck up.

He's just the best.
- Yeah.

Worm treatment's next,
then she's ready for life.

What happened
in that camper, Amrei?

I can 't say, I have
an exclusive interview with...

With the "Class Fart".
I'm the editor, I rescued her.

Chantal?
- Yes, that's right.

What a hero. Don't we all wish we had
a teacher like that. That's it from me,

back to the studio.

Eckhart?
- Gudrun, your school's in the news.

Oh, really?

I have 67,
now 68 new registrations for the GCS.

Parents want their kids chipped.

Your school ensures safety
after those suicidal kids were rescued.

You mean by Mr. Miller, the "problem"?

The man's a genius.
Since when do pupils cheer their teacher?

Normally they gun us down!

You got more registrations in four hours
than the SCG got all last year.

I thought comprehensive schools
were a lost cause?

Yes. Yes, I made a mistake.
GCS has to stay,

you're totally famous.

I'll give you the funds
for the restroom renovation,

and 6 square miles
of Erika's catchment area.

Gudrun?

Are you still there?
- Yes.

I have an inquiry from "Spiegel" magazine,
they want to distribute the "Class Fart".

Do you realize
how this will help your budget? Gudrun?

No idea.
What about the Bunsen burners?

Oh my god, I didn't know
that "Spiegel TV" had a magazine too.

Look, it's me!

Look at that make-up!

And there you are, too, Amrei!

I want to buy all the copies, and I want
a discount because I'm on the cover.

Don't mind me.

Good morning.
- Morning!

Ploppi, clean the blackboard.

Mr. Miller, put away the beer,
it's time for your teaching demonstration.

Are you prepared?
- Of course.

What's the topic?
- What do you think?

Sit down.
It would be cool if we could...

What was I going to do first?

Just tell us what to say.
- Quick!

Fuck,
I need to use the toilet again.

OMG, he's so confused! We have to
help him with his demonstration lesson.

Shit.

Here's a text, but no thingy...
- Teaching objective!

Here's a text and a picture.
- An interpretation!

Tadpoles and a machine!
- He doesn't like tadpoles!

OMG, only four more minutes!

Let's read the book. Everyone one page!
Mark whatever sounds smart.

No, I don't want to read it.
It's about gays.

"Homo Faber" is a wordplay
on homo sapiens.

We're all homo sapi...
- I'll punch you one!

Oh, come off it!
I mean, who was it who blew Burak?

It was a drinking bet.
- We were kids, and it was only two seconds.

It was a little longer, bro.
- It's normal to experiment.

Here's something else...

Mr. Gehlen, Ms. Sturz-Grube,
Ms. Bergmann and I

wish you good luck.

Here we have a picture.

Who can tell me what it means?
Yes?

I think it has to do with Homo Faber's
problem with nature.

Zeynep, nice!
- Can someone tell me a, you know,

a text passage?
- Yeah! Here...

Here.
- The homo changes.

Faber changes, yes. But why?

Why does he change?

Because...
- He falls in love.

Because he falls in love. With Elisabeth.

With Elisabeth, yes.

Don't we all have an Elisabeth...

for whom we change?

How do the changes in Faber's character
become evident?

He gets interested in other things
all of a sudden.

He gets... nicer.

Yeah, and he's no longer so...
unemotional.

Instead, he shows more human traits.

He's more likable. You want him
to be happy, to find his place in life.

Text passages?

Yeah, the foreigner.

All the best.
- Mr. Miller!

I'm proud of you.
You saved the school.

You brought out the best in your students,
and in yourself.

It pays off to believe in every
problem student, until the very end.

You did good, assholes.

You were great, Mr. Miller!
- You were a real teacher!

Yeah, well done!

Hey, Danger doesn't smell anymore!

Yeah, you've reached adulthood.

Not at all.

ONE YEAR LATER

Freedom is the word
teachers hear most often.

The freedom to live
a self-determined life,

without interference.

But the end of your school years
is not synonymous with

the beginning of freedom. Instead,
school is the foundation for freedom.

And now, right here and right now,

we have the graduating class
of two thousand...

Blah-blah-blah!
- This microphone...

Oh, my tampon slipped,
I'd better check.

No, it's still there.

Funny, why is everyone looking at me?
Is there something on my face?

Hello?
Does anyone here happen to be single?

Okay, I'll stop now

and finally give those buttheads
their report cards.

Thanks, Chantal and Daniel, we're all sad
that the time has come to part ways.

Mr. Miller? Please come on stage now

and hand out the report cards, all right?

A+

Nerd.

A-

C-

C-

C-

Good work.
- Thank you!

D!

Hello?

Today we got our A-levels.
And it was not easy.

If you have a vision early on in life,
like me,

and you know you want to
be a journalist, then that's a gift.

Above all, we want to thank Mr. Miller
for always believing in us.

Hello, Mom.

I forgive you.

To all the students who come after us,

we hope you get him as a teacher.
Because he's the best.

He saw more in us than many others did.

And he always wanted us
to win in the end.

Mr. Miller, we'll always think of you
later in life, when we're unemployed.

Yeah, Chanti!

Thanks. And in case you filmed this,
link me on Instagram.

How emotional you are.
Must be your first graduating class, right?

Are you touched? You never thought
you'd achieve this, did you?

Nope.

Guess who got an internship
at a regional paper?

Me.

My article about a sodomist rabbit breeder

won the newcomer award...

and got me a traineeship
with a kick-ass magazine.

Zeynep is an intern
at an environmental organization

and gets to use her singing talent
with the seals.

Danger took the entrance exam
at an art school.

Can someone hit me?
I have to get angry.

Like Hulk.

Nope.

Laura decided to do
a social year in Africa,

and fell in love
with a student from Hanover.

Normally I can do better.

Mr. Becker, you can go now.

She was fair enough
to inform Danger via text message.

I THINK IT'S BETTER
IF WE SPLIT UP.

That bitch!

I told her a thousand times

not to go to Africa!

What am I supposed to do now?

It's so hard
to find a good girlfriend,

who accepts you the way you are!

I hate her!

I hate you, Laura Schnabelstedt!

I loved you!

Done.

What happened, yo?

I'm in, bro!

Burak is in training with the police,

and secretly made a copy
of the key to the evidence room.

Hey, you! Identity check!
Take off your clothes, please!

We're checking for skid marks!

No cell phones in class.

Mr. Miller got a new class.

Something's on your face.

But the Asshole Group will always have
a special place in his heart.

Eckhart!
One isn't working.

I'm on your side,
which saved your school head...

I mean head.

I need to report something positive.

What happens to me...

if we close?

Uh...

We, uh... this is...

I'm not stuck, I was acting.

Don't get political!
- Come on!

Uh... Gudrun!

You know... Go on!

Oh, he has red... the red...

Shit!

Pass the coffee over... Martina.
- Meike. We were on a class trip together.

That's right.

Pass the coffee.

Hey! Pass the coffee,

Martina.
- Meike. We were on a class trip together.

Experts in suicide, or what...
- Yup.

Experts developed highly
complex algorithms for this...

I don't know.

You call this motivational?
Can you reprogram...

The look on your face.
- I'm sorry!

You call this motivational?
Can you reprogram it?

Experts developed highly
complex algorithms for this...

Exper...

It's really tricky.

Experts developed highly
complex algorithms for it...

Shit.

Experts developed highly
complex algorithms for this...

You call this motivational?
Can you reprogram it?

Experts developed, uh, highly
complex algorithms for this...

Sorry.
- I had to laugh too. Crazy.

I had to laugh, too.

What was different?
- They're fucking.

Not only in my thoughts.

Around 11.
- Oh.

Oh. When the big hand
points to "around" or what?

Yeah...
- What?

Could you ask again?
- Of course.

Thanks.
- Sure.

Why was there a needle in there?
- Ouch.

No, I can't!
Too much saliva!

No, I can't!
Too much saliva!

Oh, stop.

Strange.

And, action!

You throw it to her.
- Throw it, don't shoot it.

Just throw it.

Ready?
- Look at Gizem.

And, action!

Action!

Stay in! Stay in there!

OK, fuck, I...

Action!

Can't keep it in?

It stinks.

Sorry about that.

We're on.

From the top!

Just drink it!

Stop, stop!
- You spit on me.

Why are you shouting?

And, action!

Stop! Wait, stop drinking!

One more time.
- And...

Okay, now!
- Action!

But I'll pay for anyone's tattoo
who has a penis, too.

No! No, no.

It looks like a baby made mine.

It looks like a baby made mine.

Again.

Burak Altaschar...

... C+!

He couldn't make it.

Bullshit.

Oh, man!

Okay, who do we have here? Wait...

And, action!

Zeynep...

You're arrested because of sexy!

My number is 110.

Aram!

Are they broken off?

No.

No.
- You can bend them back.

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subtitles by peterigney
babelfisch translations