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1
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In the '80s, the difficult relationship
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00:00:03,532 --> 00:00:07,603
between mothers and daughters
made for fascinating TV.
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00:00:07,670 --> 00:00:10,773
And in our house,
it played out in real life.
4
00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:13,976
I'm so glad you waited for me
so I can help you decorate.
5
00:00:14,043 --> 00:00:16,946
Oh, we have decorated,
for two days straight.
6
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Well, oh!
7
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Well, I'm not eating
if we don't say grace,
8
00:00:21,717 --> 00:00:23,419
and by the looks of whatever this is,
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00:00:23,486 --> 00:00:25,321
we're gonna need
every blessing we can get.
10
00:00:25,387 --> 00:00:26,789
What about this one?
11
00:00:26,856 --> 00:00:28,324
Remember when you made it?
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00:00:28,390 --> 00:00:29,892
That's a stick.
13
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God made that.
14
00:00:31,961 --> 00:00:34,630
So, it was no surprise when...
15
00:00:34,697 --> 00:00:36,765
- Ooh! Did you feel that?
- Hmm?
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00:00:36,832 --> 00:00:38,100
Did your stomach just tighten a little?
17
00:00:38,167 --> 00:00:41,003
Oh. Mama must have
woken up from her surgery.
18
00:00:41,070 --> 00:00:42,905
She's alert in the world again.
19
00:00:42,972 --> 00:00:44,106
Girl, it'll be fine.
20
00:00:44,173 --> 00:00:46,642
I already have my place
all ready and set up for her.
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00:00:46,709 --> 00:00:47,977
It won't be easy, but...
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00:00:48,043 --> 00:00:49,979
that's the price I pay
for being the favorite.
23
00:00:50,045 --> 00:00:51,947
Well, thank God
she's going to recover with you.
24
00:00:52,014 --> 00:00:53,482
Can you imagine her staying with me?
25
00:00:53,549 --> 00:00:56,085
Ooh. Not after
that last Christmas visit.
26
00:00:56,152 --> 00:00:58,254
We're all still talking
about that behind your back.
27
00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:00,122
- Yeah, that was rough.
- Mm.
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00:01:00,189 --> 00:01:02,191
And remember when you told her
I snuck out,
29
00:01:02,258 --> 00:01:04,493
but you got in trouble
because she hates snitches?
30
00:01:06,228 --> 00:01:08,497
Oh, it's great
we can still laugh about that.
31
00:01:08,564 --> 00:01:09,865
I'm not laughing.
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00:01:09,932 --> 00:01:10,966
Don't be mad.
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00:01:11,033 --> 00:01:12,868
Every daughter has a thing with her mom,
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00:01:12,935 --> 00:01:15,971
especially when that daughter is
the third favorite of two.
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But if it came down to it,
you would take care of Mama, right?
36
00:01:18,874 --> 00:01:20,843
Yeah. Of course.
37
00:01:20,910 --> 00:01:23,312
If there were no other options,
you know?
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00:01:23,379 --> 00:01:24,480
- You were dead.
- Mm.
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00:01:24,547 --> 00:01:25,648
- Dad was dead.
- Mm.
40
00:01:25,714 --> 00:01:26,949
Cousin Merle was dead.
41
00:01:27,016 --> 00:01:28,017
The world was ending.
42
00:01:28,083 --> 00:01:30,052
Pretty much everyone
would have to be dead.
43
00:01:30,119 --> 00:01:31,720
Well, assume we're all dead
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00:01:31,787 --> 00:01:33,189
because you're taking care
of Mama this week.
45
00:01:33,255 --> 00:01:34,723
Wha...
46
00:01:34,790 --> 00:01:35,991
What?
47
00:01:36,058 --> 00:01:38,294
But you're her favorite.
Why wouldn't you do it?
48
00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:39,995
Because I am her favorite.
49
00:01:40,062 --> 00:01:43,499
Our relationship is based on
her and I complaining about you.
50
00:01:43,566 --> 00:01:44,900
I don't want to lose that.
51
00:01:45,968 --> 00:01:46,902
Oh. That's her now.
52
00:01:46,969 --> 00:01:49,071
Don't you tell her I made you do this.
53
00:01:49,138 --> 00:01:50,973
Snitch.
54
00:01:53,108 --> 00:01:54,176
? In the mix ?
55
00:01:54,243 --> 00:01:56,879
? Oh, oh, oh, they keep trying ?
56
00:01:56,946 --> 00:01:59,014
? But they can't stop us ?
57
00:01:59,081 --> 00:02:01,550
? 'Cause we got a love ?
58
00:02:01,617 --> 00:02:03,986
? That keeps rising up ?
59
00:02:04,053 --> 00:02:05,020
? In the mix ?
60
00:02:05,087 --> 00:02:06,889
? Life turns around ?
61
00:02:06,956 --> 00:02:08,357
? 'Round and 'round it goes ?
62
00:02:08,424 --> 00:02:11,093
? Ooh, it's a mixed-up world ?
? Ooh, it's a mixed-up ?
63
00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:12,828
? And that's for sure ?
? Mixed-up ?
64
00:02:12,895 --> 00:02:14,496
? In the mix ?
? Baby ?
65
00:02:14,563 --> 00:02:16,373
? We're gonna get by ?
? We're gonna ?
66
00:02:16,443 --> 00:02:18,434
? On our own, side by side ?
67
00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:21,170
? Love's all we need to be free ?
? Lo-o-o-ve is all ?
68
00:02:21,237 --> 00:02:23,339
? I got you, you got me ?
69
00:02:23,405 --> 00:02:25,875
? Yaaaaay us! ?
70
00:02:25,941 --> 00:02:27,743
? I-I-In the mix ?
71
00:02:27,810 --> 00:02:30,346
? Yaaaaay us! ?
72
00:02:30,412 --> 00:02:33,048
? I-I-In the mix-ish ?
73
00:02:33,115 --> 00:02:34,850
No.
74
00:02:34,917 --> 00:02:36,685
Hello?
75
00:02:36,752 --> 00:02:38,120
H-Hello?
76
00:02:38,187 --> 00:02:39,121
Honey, what's going on?
77
00:02:39,188 --> 00:02:40,623
Shh! My mom's outside.
78
00:02:40,689 --> 00:02:41,924
- Hello?
- What's she doing here?
79
00:02:41,991 --> 00:02:43,525
She just had her bunion removed.
80
00:02:43,592 --> 00:02:45,728
Denise said she could stay
with us for the next week or so.
81
00:02:45,794 --> 00:02:47,696
What? Well, you're not gonna
let her in, are you?
82
00:02:47,763 --> 00:02:48,697
We don't have a choice.
83
00:02:49,999 --> 00:02:50,966
- There's always a choice.
- Hello?
84
00:02:51,033 --> 00:02:52,134
We don't want another Christmas.
85
00:02:52,201 --> 00:02:53,702
We were in emotional shambles
until Easter.
86
00:02:53,769 --> 00:02:55,070
I know. So, what do we do?
87
00:02:55,137 --> 00:02:56,805
Pretend we're not home
for, like, the next 10 days?
88
00:02:56,872 --> 00:02:57,873
Hello?
89
00:02:57,940 --> 00:02:59,908
Obviously, we can't do that.
90
00:02:59,975 --> 00:03:01,777
I'll just pack up the kids,
we'll sneak out the back.
91
00:03:01,851 --> 00:03:03,398
- She'll never know we were here.
- Mm.
92
00:03:03,423 --> 00:03:05,581
You know I can hear you guys.
93
00:03:05,648 --> 00:03:06,949
- Mm-hmm.
- No, no, no.
94
00:03:07,008 --> 00:03:08,039
No!
95
00:03:08,072 --> 00:03:09,585
Hi, Mama.
96
00:03:09,652 --> 00:03:10,953
Sorry, I didn't know you were coming
97
00:03:11,020 --> 00:03:13,789
because Denise lied and said
you were staying with her.
98
00:03:13,856 --> 00:03:16,091
Mm. I see you're still a snitch.
99
00:03:16,158 --> 00:03:17,726
She is.
100
00:03:17,793 --> 00:03:19,295
I'm still your favorite, right?
101
00:03:19,361 --> 00:03:21,430
I don't have favorites.
102
00:03:21,497 --> 00:03:23,632
And yes.
103
00:03:23,699 --> 00:03:24,967
Hello, Paul.
104
00:03:25,034 --> 00:03:27,236
So, this is what it looks like
when a man stays home
105
00:03:27,303 --> 00:03:28,904
and does the housework.
106
00:03:28,971 --> 00:03:30,506
Hello, Shireen.
Actually, I have a job now.
107
00:03:30,572 --> 00:03:31,440
I'm a teacher.
108
00:03:31,507 --> 00:03:32,608
Oh!
109
00:03:32,675 --> 00:03:33,609
So, this is what it looks like
110
00:03:33,676 --> 00:03:36,011
when no one does the housework.
111
00:03:36,078 --> 00:03:37,846
How long did you say
you were staying for again?
112
00:03:39,214 --> 00:03:40,983
Black Grandma! Black Grandma!
113
00:03:41,050 --> 00:03:42,851
Honey, you don't need to say Black.
114
00:03:42,918 --> 00:03:44,987
But you said not
to call her Mean Grandma.
115
00:03:45,054 --> 00:03:47,156
It's so good to see you,
Grandma Shireen.
116
00:03:47,222 --> 00:03:48,290
I wish you came more often.
117
00:03:48,357 --> 00:03:50,426
Oh, so do I, honey.
118
00:03:50,492 --> 00:03:52,861
But the good news is one of these days,
119
00:03:52,928 --> 00:03:55,331
I'm going to be too old
to live by myself,
120
00:03:55,397 --> 00:03:57,266
so I'll live here with you all.
121
00:03:58,100 --> 00:03:59,668
- Wait, really?
- Wait, really?
122
00:03:59,735 --> 00:04:02,271
You would want to live here with us?
123
00:04:02,338 --> 00:04:04,206
Of course.
124
00:04:04,273 --> 00:04:07,710
No one would do a better job
of taking care of me.
125
00:04:07,776 --> 00:04:11,213
And for now, I'm going to need
to stay in your bedroom.
126
00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:12,348
Our bedroom?
127
00:04:12,414 --> 00:04:14,183
You're okay with that, right?
128
00:04:14,249 --> 00:04:16,018
She just had surgery on her foot.
129
00:04:16,085 --> 00:04:18,220
Plus, I don't like the couch.
130
00:04:18,287 --> 00:04:19,288
Come on, Mama.
131
00:04:19,355 --> 00:04:21,056
I'll show you to your new room.
132
00:04:21,123 --> 00:04:22,391
- Oh.
- I'll get your bags.
133
00:04:22,458 --> 00:04:24,226
Which one has our presents in it?
134
00:04:24,251 --> 00:04:27,087
And that was the moment
my mom climbed up
135
00:04:27,112 --> 00:04:29,050
to second favorite.
136
00:04:29,121 --> 00:04:31,257
I mean, with so many
walls in this house,
137
00:04:31,324 --> 00:04:33,826
you'd think there'd be
one picture of James Brown.
138
00:04:33,893 --> 00:04:35,027
I know, right?
139
00:04:35,094 --> 00:04:37,897
But they got room for Johan's
kindergarten portrait.
140
00:04:39,131 --> 00:04:42,268
This is gonna be so nice
in my golden years.
141
00:04:42,335 --> 00:04:44,036
I'm lucky.
142
00:04:44,103 --> 00:04:45,705
Not like my co-worker Janice.
143
00:04:45,771 --> 00:04:48,074
Her kids shipped her off
to Silver Sunset Villa
144
00:04:48,140 --> 00:04:51,611
as soon as she qualified for
a senior discount at the movies.
145
00:04:51,677 --> 00:04:53,713
Let me guess... Janice is White.
146
00:04:55,314 --> 00:04:58,017
- I could never live like that.
- Me neither.
147
00:04:58,084 --> 00:04:59,752
Living in some old folks home,
148
00:04:59,819 --> 00:05:02,388
telling me when I can
and cannot eat my Jell-O?
149
00:05:02,413 --> 00:05:03,422
- Mm.
- Ooh.
150
00:05:03,447 --> 00:05:05,091
Stealing my wigs while I'm asleep?
151
00:05:05,164 --> 00:05:06,947
Ooh.
152
00:05:06,972 --> 00:05:10,797
Well, lucky me... Alicia will
always take care of me.
153
00:05:10,869 --> 00:05:13,672
And I'll be here to take care
of her taking care of you.
154
00:05:13,732 --> 00:05:16,501
I just wonder
what's gonna happen to you.
155
00:05:16,568 --> 00:05:17,636
Without kids,
156
00:05:17,703 --> 00:05:19,471
you're just staring down
the barrel of a future
157
00:05:19,538 --> 00:05:22,007
with no one to look out for you.
158
00:05:22,074 --> 00:05:24,609
You're right. I am.
159
00:05:24,676 --> 00:05:27,179
No one to feed you, no one to bathe you,
160
00:05:27,245 --> 00:05:31,850
no one to change the channel
when you're about to miss "Alf."
161
00:05:31,917 --> 00:05:33,452
Sorry, I was being subtle.
162
00:05:33,518 --> 00:05:35,153
We're about to miss "Alf."
163
00:05:35,220 --> 00:05:37,155
Oh, I'm sorry, Mama.
164
00:05:38,724 --> 00:05:39,758
Hey, you're right.
165
00:05:39,825 --> 00:05:41,693
Who's gonna do this for me?
166
00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:44,463
I don't have any daughters,
or even a dumb son.
167
00:05:44,529 --> 00:05:45,831
I got to figure this out.
168
00:05:45,897 --> 00:05:48,600
I'll be back.
169
00:05:48,667 --> 00:05:51,169
And, Mama, if you need anything,
170
00:05:51,236 --> 00:05:53,472
let me know...
171
00:05:53,538 --> 00:05:54,873
and I'll tell Alicia.
172
00:05:57,843 --> 00:05:59,878
What was that weird thing your mom said
173
00:05:59,945 --> 00:06:01,880
about one day staying here forever?
174
00:06:01,947 --> 00:06:02,881
I know.
175
00:06:02,948 --> 00:06:05,684
- It's great, right?
- She chose me.
176
00:06:05,751 --> 00:06:06,718
What... What are you talking about?
177
00:06:06,785 --> 00:06:08,053
You just tried to pretend
you weren't here.
178
00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:09,988
Oh, no. That's just
how we talk to each other.
179
00:06:10,055 --> 00:06:11,323
Think about it, Paul.
180
00:06:11,390 --> 00:06:14,726
She said no one would do
a better job taking care of her.
181
00:06:14,793 --> 00:06:16,695
That's the nicest thing
she's ever said to me.
182
00:06:16,762 --> 00:06:19,664
Well, I-I understand you're excited,
183
00:06:19,731 --> 00:06:21,566
but I-I feel like I need to remind you,
184
00:06:21,633 --> 00:06:22,734
we're dealing with your mom.
185
00:06:22,801 --> 00:06:23,869
Exactly. It's my mom.
186
00:06:23,935 --> 00:06:25,303
Yeah. It's your mom.
187
00:06:25,370 --> 00:06:26,538
Yeah. Right. It's my mom.
188
00:06:26,605 --> 00:06:28,073
Right. It's your mom.
189
00:06:28,140 --> 00:06:29,374
Why do you keep saying that?
190
00:06:29,441 --> 00:06:31,376
Look, I know things
have been tricky in the past,
191
00:06:31,443 --> 00:06:32,911
but she needs me now.
192
00:06:32,978 --> 00:06:34,846
I've never had that before.
193
00:06:34,913 --> 00:06:35,981
This will be different.
194
00:06:36,048 --> 00:06:37,049
Alicia!
195
00:06:37,115 --> 00:06:38,884
I need you...
196
00:06:38,950 --> 00:06:43,055
to get a new comforter
because I hate the one you have!
197
00:06:43,121 --> 00:06:44,322
See?
198
00:06:44,389 --> 00:06:46,858
She needs me.
199
00:06:46,925 --> 00:06:48,393
Coming, Mama!
200
00:06:54,232 --> 00:06:55,267
Hello, there, Rainbow.
201
00:06:55,333 --> 00:06:57,869
Ooh, isn't that a cute top?
202
00:06:57,936 --> 00:07:00,605
It reminds me of the time
I gave you that great advice
203
00:07:00,672 --> 00:07:03,275
about going to the dance
with that White boy.
204
00:07:03,341 --> 00:07:06,745
Remember how much happier
you were after we talked?
205
00:07:06,812 --> 00:07:08,113
Aunt Dee-Dee, are you okay?
206
00:07:08,180 --> 00:07:10,449
You never talk to me this much.
207
00:07:10,515 --> 00:07:13,452
I'mma come clean with you, Rainbow.
208
00:07:13,518 --> 00:07:14,786
I played this all wrong,
209
00:07:14,853 --> 00:07:16,888
and now I don't have any kids
to take care of me
210
00:07:16,955 --> 00:07:18,457
when I get older.
211
00:07:18,523 --> 00:07:19,691
Oh.
212
00:07:19,758 --> 00:07:20,959
So are you gonna have kids?
213
00:07:21,026 --> 00:07:22,928
Oh, God, no. I hate kids.
214
00:07:22,994 --> 00:07:24,596
I mean...
215
00:07:24,663 --> 00:07:27,766
I was hoping you could take care of me.
216
00:07:29,101 --> 00:07:30,936
- I would love to.
- Hmm?
217
00:07:31,002 --> 00:07:32,169
Even though I'm just learning
about this,
218
00:07:32,194 --> 00:07:33,905
I've already got a plan.
219
00:07:33,972 --> 00:07:35,774
What do you think about Vermont?
220
00:07:35,841 --> 00:07:38,210
Because we could get
a small house there.
221
00:07:38,276 --> 00:07:39,811
It'd have to be small
because I plan on giving
222
00:07:39,878 --> 00:07:41,546
most of my money away to charity,
223
00:07:41,613 --> 00:07:42,814
but don't worry.
224
00:07:42,881 --> 00:07:45,117
It'll be big enough for us
and all the dogs.
225
00:07:45,183 --> 00:07:46,818
- Dogs?
- Oh, yeah.
226
00:07:46,885 --> 00:07:49,387
They won't be putting down any
dogs as long as I have a yard.
227
00:07:49,446 --> 00:07:51,615
Nope. Too complicated.
228
00:07:54,126 --> 00:07:54,993
Dogs?
229
00:07:55,060 --> 00:07:56,528
That's that White side.
230
00:07:57,963 --> 00:07:59,598
My mom was bending over backwards
231
00:07:59,664 --> 00:08:02,100
to make sure my grandma was comfortable.
232
00:08:03,668 --> 00:08:06,838
And that meant making my dad
very uncomfortable.
233
00:08:09,474 --> 00:08:11,510
Is that bacon?
234
00:08:14,479 --> 00:08:16,815
Mm-hmm.
235
00:08:16,882 --> 00:08:18,483
What are you doing?
236
00:08:18,550 --> 00:08:19,985
Oh, I thought I'd wake up early
237
00:08:20,051 --> 00:08:22,521
and make Mama breakfast
before I went into work.
238
00:08:22,587 --> 00:08:23,822
She needs her bacon.
239
00:08:23,889 --> 00:08:25,657
I need my bacon!
240
00:08:25,724 --> 00:08:27,659
This is a pescatarian house.
241
00:08:27,726 --> 00:08:29,427
Babe, she's recovering from surgery.
242
00:08:29,494 --> 00:08:31,496
How is she supposed
to get better without her bacon?
243
00:08:31,563 --> 00:08:34,099
I don't know how much time I have left.
244
00:08:34,166 --> 00:08:35,500
I just want to be happy.
245
00:08:35,567 --> 00:08:36,935
Mm-hmm.
246
00:08:37,002 --> 00:08:39,538
Okay, well, if you'll excuse me,
I'm gonna get some air.
247
00:08:39,604 --> 00:08:42,007
Air that doesn't smell like dead pigs.
248
00:08:43,341 --> 00:08:45,443
Okay, I've rearranged
the furniture in our room
249
00:08:45,510 --> 00:08:48,046
to your liking, drawn a bath,
made breakfast.
250
00:08:48,113 --> 00:08:49,648
Feels like you're good to go.
251
00:08:49,714 --> 00:08:52,284
I'm gonna head into work,
if you don't need anything.
252
00:08:52,350 --> 00:08:53,952
I don't need anything.
253
00:08:54,019 --> 00:08:55,887
You've done more than enough.
254
00:08:55,954 --> 00:08:57,689
See you, Mama.
255
00:08:57,756 --> 00:09:01,159
I do need my pain medication,
256
00:09:01,226 --> 00:09:06,264
but I-I guess I could just
bite on a stick.
257
00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:11,002
I can take you to the pharmacist.
258
00:09:11,069 --> 00:09:11,970
I've got plenty of time.
259
00:09:12,037 --> 00:09:13,872
Oh. Sit down.
260
00:09:15,740 --> 00:09:17,075
Sorry I'm late.
261
00:09:17,142 --> 00:09:18,843
You're not just late.
You missed the whole meeting.
262
00:09:18,910 --> 00:09:20,879
But Denise was here on time.
263
00:09:20,946 --> 00:09:22,814
I'm very disappointed in you.
264
00:09:22,881 --> 00:09:24,883
Sorry. I got caught up helping my mom.
265
00:09:24,950 --> 00:09:26,384
She needed something from the pharmacy
266
00:09:26,451 --> 00:09:27,886
and then she needed something
from the store
267
00:09:27,953 --> 00:09:29,054
and then she needed me to help her write
268
00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:31,356
a strongly worded letter
to "The Price is Right,"
269
00:09:31,423 --> 00:09:32,924
but it'll never happen again.
270
00:09:32,991 --> 00:09:33,925
I don't understand.
271
00:09:33,992 --> 00:09:35,060
Why are you doing that?
272
00:09:35,126 --> 00:09:37,862
Can't the concierge at the hotel
help her?
273
00:09:37,929 --> 00:09:39,064
I wouldn't put her in a hotel.
274
00:09:39,130 --> 00:09:40,098
She's staying with me.
275
00:09:40,165 --> 00:09:42,434
What, are you fresh immigrants?
276
00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:44,336
Don't tell me somebody's
sleeping on the floor.
277
00:09:44,402 --> 00:09:46,438
No. We're on the couch.
278
00:09:46,504 --> 00:09:48,240
But it's okay
because it gives me a chance
279
00:09:48,306 --> 00:09:50,108
to fix my relationship with my mom.
280
00:09:50,175 --> 00:09:52,043
But don't worry. This won't
take me away from work.
281
00:09:52,110 --> 00:09:55,013
I can be both a great daughter
and a great lawyer.
282
00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:57,082
I don't care if your mother
never talks to you again.
283
00:09:57,148 --> 00:09:59,017
Just don't miss another client meeting.
284
00:09:59,084 --> 00:10:01,920
You will never hear about my mom
at work ever again.
285
00:10:03,088 --> 00:10:04,089
Mama's on the phone.
286
00:10:04,155 --> 00:10:06,024
She needs you to go home
and change the channel.
287
00:10:06,992 --> 00:10:08,727
She's about to miss Wapner.
288
00:10:11,162 --> 00:10:13,565
If you'll excuse me.
289
00:10:17,046 --> 00:10:19,194
Not everyone can balance being a lawyer
290
00:10:19,257 --> 00:10:21,531
- and taking care of their mother.
- Here you go.
291
00:10:21,594 --> 00:10:23,617
Turns out, my mom couldn't do either.
292
00:10:23,648 --> 00:10:24,651
Why so big?
293
00:10:24,743 --> 00:10:26,478
Do you want me to choke and die?
294
00:10:26,545 --> 00:10:28,230
Your sister's trying to kill me.
295
00:10:28,269 --> 00:10:30,749
Alicia, why are you trying to kill Mama?
296
00:10:30,830 --> 00:10:32,831
Okay, Mama, I'll make it smaller.
297
00:10:32,878 --> 00:10:34,947
You better, or Mama and I
will talk about this
298
00:10:35,014 --> 00:10:36,148
behind your back.
299
00:10:37,659 --> 00:10:39,952
- All right.
- G-Get that fat off for me.
300
00:10:40,019 --> 00:10:42,254
Mm-hmm. Okay.
301
00:10:42,321 --> 00:10:44,256
And I wouldn't say Aunt Dee-Dee
was getting desperate
302
00:10:44,323 --> 00:10:46,459
trying to find someone
to take care of her,
303
00:10:46,484 --> 00:10:48,720
but she did go to Johan.
304
00:10:48,745 --> 00:10:51,130
As you know, I work hard
and I play harder,
305
00:10:51,197 --> 00:10:54,133
so when I'm older, I will need
to be extremely medicated.
306
00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:55,601
If you're gonna take care of me,
307
00:10:55,653 --> 00:10:58,756
you need to remember what pills
to give me when.
308
00:10:58,838 --> 00:11:00,606
So, let's play pretend.
309
00:11:00,631 --> 00:11:01,865
Here are three bottles.
310
00:11:01,890 --> 00:11:05,046
Which pills would you give me
for breakfast?
311
00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:11,671
Remember... I can't take
heart pills in the morning.
312
00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:19,417
Uh... Heart pills in the morning
will kill Aunt Dee-Dee.
313
00:11:23,242 --> 00:11:24,910
Wait, I get it.
314
00:11:24,961 --> 00:11:28,364
This is a trick question.
315
00:11:28,447 --> 00:11:29,748
Thank you for your time.
316
00:11:32,751 --> 00:11:33,827
Good morning.
317
00:11:33,881 --> 00:11:35,454
- Hello.
- Good morning.
318
00:11:35,521 --> 00:11:38,624
Well, everybody looks happy,
chipper, bright.
319
00:11:38,690 --> 00:11:40,726
So, I assume your mom left?
320
00:11:40,792 --> 00:11:42,861
No, she's still here,
and you'll be happy to know
321
00:11:42,919 --> 00:11:46,689
I was able to finish all my work
and take care of my mother.
322
00:11:46,765 --> 00:11:48,567
I don't understand. Are you a nurse?
323
00:11:48,634 --> 00:11:49,568
No.
324
00:11:49,635 --> 00:11:51,136
- Are you a doctor?
- You know I'm not.
325
00:11:51,203 --> 00:11:53,906
Are you a sexy Russian trapeze artist?
326
00:11:53,972 --> 00:11:56,041
- What?
- Those are the only people I want
327
00:11:56,108 --> 00:11:57,910
taking care of me when I'm old.
328
00:11:57,976 --> 00:12:00,412
And besides, why are you the one
that has to do this?
329
00:12:00,479 --> 00:12:02,648
Can't your sister take care of her?
330
00:12:02,714 --> 00:12:04,816
If I didn't have an infestation
of bees at my apartment,
331
00:12:04,883 --> 00:12:06,885
my mama would be there with me
right now.
332
00:12:06,952 --> 00:12:09,087
But she can't, 'cause I got bees.
333
00:12:09,154 --> 00:12:11,590
Bees or not, Mom chose me,
334
00:12:11,657 --> 00:12:14,927
and this is my opportunity to help her.
335
00:12:14,993 --> 00:12:18,463
Oh. Alicia, I forgot to mention.
336
00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:20,565
I have a follow-up doctor's appointment.
337
00:12:20,632 --> 00:12:21,633
Oh. That's no problem.
338
00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:22,968
I can take you. What time?
339
00:12:23,035 --> 00:12:24,336
11:30.
340
00:12:24,403 --> 00:12:26,672
Don't make me late.
341
00:12:26,738 --> 00:12:28,640
Well, Alicia, 11:30 is when
342
00:12:28,707 --> 00:12:30,742
I rescheduled
that client meeting you missed.
343
00:12:30,809 --> 00:12:31,777
This is a big case for us,
344
00:12:31,843 --> 00:12:33,679
and you are not taking it
seriously at all.
345
00:12:33,745 --> 00:12:36,315
No, no, no, no, no.
I'll... I'll figure this out.
346
00:12:36,381 --> 00:12:39,618
Isn't there someone
with a less important job
347
00:12:39,685 --> 00:12:41,920
that could take your mom to the doctor?
348
00:12:45,924 --> 00:12:47,993
Oh, come on.
349
00:12:48,060 --> 00:12:50,028
So, my dad very generously catered
350
00:12:50,095 --> 00:12:52,497
to my grandmother for my mom.
351
00:12:52,564 --> 00:12:54,299
Well, it took you long enough.
352
00:12:54,366 --> 00:12:56,702
That's because you wanted
to take the surface streets.
353
00:12:56,768 --> 00:12:58,770
I don't trust the toll roads here.
354
00:12:58,837 --> 00:13:02,374
I saw on "Morton Downey Jr."
that the highways in your state
355
00:13:02,441 --> 00:13:04,276
are major drug corridors,
356
00:13:04,343 --> 00:13:06,044
and I don't want any part of that.
357
00:13:06,111 --> 00:13:07,813
You know, you could have sat
in the front seat.
358
00:13:07,879 --> 00:13:10,315
I know. But my foot hurts.
359
00:13:10,382 --> 00:13:13,118
And I've never been driven
by a White man.
360
00:13:13,185 --> 00:13:14,853
Now, come on and get me out of this car.
361
00:13:14,878 --> 00:13:15,787
Help me out.
362
00:13:15,854 --> 00:13:17,723
You drive slower than Morgan Freeman
363
00:13:17,789 --> 00:13:19,324
in "Driving Miss Daisy."
364
00:13:19,391 --> 00:13:20,859
This is "Driving Miss Shireen,"
365
00:13:20,926 --> 00:13:22,194
and I need you to speed things up
366
00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:23,395
'cause I like to be on time.
367
00:13:23,462 --> 00:13:24,496
Shoot, I should have just had...
368
00:13:24,563 --> 00:13:25,998
So, let me make sure I got this right.
369
00:13:26,064 --> 00:13:28,500
You were just minding your own business,
370
00:13:28,567 --> 00:13:30,669
and this play place came out of nowhere.
371
00:13:31,870 --> 00:13:33,572
Ms. Johnson, you have a phone call.
372
00:13:33,638 --> 00:13:36,708
Uh, it would be nice if you used
your at-work voice.
373
00:13:36,775 --> 00:13:39,344
- Huh?
- Exactly.
374
00:13:39,411 --> 00:13:40,812
Hey, honey. How's your day going?
375
00:13:40,863 --> 00:13:42,398
Uh, kind of in the middle of something.
376
00:13:42,481 --> 00:13:44,016
- Is everything okay?
- Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
377
00:13:44,082 --> 00:13:45,484
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
378
00:13:45,509 --> 00:13:46,444
Yeah. Yeah.
379
00:13:46,469 --> 00:13:47,986
Okay, so, if everything is okay,
380
00:13:48,053 --> 00:13:49,821
I'm going to hang up the phone now.
381
00:13:49,895 --> 00:13:52,931
Uh, before you do, I just want
to tell you all about my day.
382
00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:55,037
Took your mom to the doctor,
we got lunch...
383
00:13:55,062 --> 00:13:57,662
- Mm-hmm.
- ...and she was with me the whole time.
384
00:13:57,729 --> 00:14:00,165
But now, I was, um,
385
00:14:00,232 --> 00:14:05,170
I was just wondering if maybe
you had any idea where she is.
386
00:14:05,237 --> 00:14:07,239
Wait, you don't know where my mom is?
387
00:14:07,305 --> 00:14:09,708
It depends. If she's with you,
then I know where she is.
388
00:14:09,775 --> 00:14:10,942
You lost my mom?
389
00:14:11,009 --> 00:14:12,044
I didn't lose your mom.
390
00:14:12,110 --> 00:14:14,613
- I'm not...
- Sorry, I have to go.
391
00:14:14,680 --> 00:14:15,714
Unbelievable.
392
00:14:15,781 --> 00:14:18,884
Oh, don't worry, girl. I got this.
393
00:14:18,950 --> 00:14:20,952
All right. Catch me up.
394
00:14:21,019 --> 00:14:22,688
What do you need me to do?
395
00:14:25,791 --> 00:14:27,059
Hey, did you find her?
396
00:14:27,125 --> 00:14:29,728
False alarm. Your mom's here napping.
397
00:14:29,795 --> 00:14:31,129
You know, in my defense,
I thought people on crutches
398
00:14:31,196 --> 00:14:32,230
would be slower.
399
00:14:32,297 --> 00:14:33,765
I-I can't keep all these balls
in the air
400
00:14:33,832 --> 00:14:35,534
without some help, Paul.
401
00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:38,070
I-I had to leave a meeting with
some very important clients.
402
00:14:38,136 --> 00:14:40,605
Whew! And they did not appreciate me
403
00:14:40,672 --> 00:14:42,941
knowing so little about the law.
404
00:14:43,008 --> 00:14:43,942
Where's my wine?
405
00:14:45,544 --> 00:14:47,746
Babe, if we can't do this for a week,
406
00:14:47,813 --> 00:14:49,081
how are we gonna be able
to take care of her
407
00:14:49,147 --> 00:14:50,157
- when the time comes?
- Right.
408
00:14:50,182 --> 00:14:51,650
So, I've been thinking about this.
409
00:14:51,717 --> 00:14:54,052
Maybe we don't have to be
the ones that take care of her.
410
00:14:54,119 --> 00:14:56,621
There's always a nursing home.
411
00:14:56,688 --> 00:14:58,757
What did you say?
412
00:14:58,824 --> 00:15:00,826
From your tone, I feel like
I shouldn't repeat it.
413
00:15:02,194 --> 00:15:04,996
Oh, you would just love this,
Paul, wouldn't ya?
414
00:15:05,063 --> 00:15:07,299
You would just love for me
to ship her away
415
00:15:07,365 --> 00:15:09,801
to a nursing home for the final failure!
416
00:15:09,868 --> 00:15:12,070
The... The... The nail
in the coffin for Alicia,
417
00:15:12,137 --> 00:15:14,072
the third favorite daughter!
418
00:15:14,139 --> 00:15:16,489
Babe, how much sleep
have you been getting?
419
00:15:16,529 --> 00:15:17,778
None!
420
00:15:17,803 --> 00:15:20,078
I'm on a-a-a secondhand couch!
421
00:15:25,183 --> 00:15:28,086
I always knew Mama would
drive one of us crazy.
422
00:15:32,144 --> 00:15:33,659
- Hey.
- Hey.
423
00:15:33,740 --> 00:15:35,567
I figured you might
still be stressed out,
424
00:15:35,645 --> 00:15:37,620
- so I made you some tea.
- Oh.
425
00:15:37,669 --> 00:15:38,937
Not that you need to relax.
426
00:15:39,004 --> 00:15:40,672
I would never tell
a Black woman to relax.
427
00:15:40,739 --> 00:15:43,084
I'm just saying that if you wanted to,
428
00:15:43,146 --> 00:15:44,276
there's tea.
429
00:15:45,644 --> 00:15:48,413
I'm sorry about losing it.
430
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:50,149
I feel like so much is riding
431
00:15:50,215 --> 00:15:52,184
on me getting my mother's approval.
432
00:15:53,819 --> 00:15:56,188
Look, she and I have had
a tricky relationship...
433
00:15:56,255 --> 00:15:58,157
...my whole life.
434
00:15:58,223 --> 00:15:59,958
I'm scared if she lives with us one day,
435
00:16:00,025 --> 00:16:01,460
I'm gonna rip all my hair out.
436
00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:02,694
And then, when I don't have any left,
437
00:16:02,761 --> 00:16:05,030
I'll rip yours out, too.
438
00:16:05,097 --> 00:16:07,966
Look, babe, I may not understand
the pressure you feel,
439
00:16:08,033 --> 00:16:10,669
but you always have a choice.
440
00:16:10,736 --> 00:16:13,305
You can take care of your mom
and take care of yourself.
441
00:16:13,372 --> 00:16:15,607
You just have to set some boundaries.
442
00:16:15,674 --> 00:16:17,609
But I'm scared of her.
443
00:16:17,676 --> 00:16:19,278
Babe, I'm serious.
444
00:16:19,344 --> 00:16:20,946
You're a great daughter.
445
00:16:21,013 --> 00:16:22,281
And sherpa.
446
00:16:22,347 --> 00:16:23,515
I've seen you carry her dead weight
447
00:16:23,582 --> 00:16:25,484
up two flights of stairs.
448
00:16:27,419 --> 00:16:29,565
- I'm gonna go talk to her.
- Great.
449
00:16:29,590 --> 00:16:30,889
B-But when you go stand up to her,
450
00:16:30,956 --> 00:16:32,724
please don't tell her it was my idea.
451
00:16:32,791 --> 00:16:34,193
I'm a little scared of her, too.
452
00:16:34,259 --> 00:16:35,861
Oh, you should be.
453
00:16:36,717 --> 00:16:37,896
I'm serious.
454
00:16:37,963 --> 00:16:39,398
- I am, too.
- Okay.
455
00:16:44,102 --> 00:16:46,572
Well, hello, Cabbage Patch Delilah.
456
00:16:46,638 --> 00:16:49,441
So nice of you to come to my party.
457
00:16:53,645 --> 00:16:55,981
That'll teach you for wearing
the same dress as me.
458
00:16:56,048 --> 00:16:58,717
I knew I should have come to you first.
459
00:16:59,818 --> 00:17:02,588
You're smart and you appreciate
the finer things in life.
460
00:17:02,654 --> 00:17:04,389
But you're not gonna give
all your money away
461
00:17:04,456 --> 00:17:05,591
to live with a bunch of dogs, right?
462
00:17:05,657 --> 00:17:07,426
Ew. No.
463
00:17:07,493 --> 00:17:09,862
I'm gonna marry rich and divorce richer.
464
00:17:09,928 --> 00:17:11,263
I've taught you well.
465
00:17:11,330 --> 00:17:12,397
And then I'm gonna move
466
00:17:12,464 --> 00:17:14,700
as far away from this dump as possible
467
00:17:14,766 --> 00:17:17,669
so I don't get dragged down
by any of my relatives.
468
00:17:17,736 --> 00:17:19,004
But not your fun auntie, right?
469
00:17:19,071 --> 00:17:20,172
Aunt Marybeth?
470
00:17:20,239 --> 00:17:22,374
No. Not your White Aunt Marybeth.
471
00:17:22,441 --> 00:17:23,342
Me.
472
00:17:23,408 --> 00:17:24,576
Oh.
473
00:17:24,643 --> 00:17:26,912
Do you plan on being alive
when I'm older?
474
00:17:26,979 --> 00:17:28,680
I guess I just assumed
all the adults in my life
475
00:17:28,747 --> 00:17:30,115
would be dead by then.
476
00:17:30,182 --> 00:17:31,683
A fair prediction.
477
00:17:31,750 --> 00:17:34,586
But say I was alive
and I needed a place to stay?
478
00:17:34,653 --> 00:17:36,561
No. Right, Delilah?
479
00:17:38,362 --> 00:17:39,630
She hates you.
480
00:17:45,603 --> 00:17:48,706
Honey, does this picture
of Rick James look crooked?
481
00:17:48,773 --> 00:17:50,041
No.
482
00:17:50,108 --> 00:17:52,577
But it is where my wedding photo
used to be.
483
00:17:52,643 --> 00:17:54,812
Oh, that photo looks
just as good in the closet.
484
00:17:54,879 --> 00:17:56,881
Trust me.
485
00:17:56,948 --> 00:17:58,916
Mama, we need to talk.
486
00:17:58,983 --> 00:18:01,252
I feel like I'm always failing you.
487
00:18:01,319 --> 00:18:03,421
Is it because your husband abandoned me
488
00:18:03,488 --> 00:18:05,089
at the doctor's office?
489
00:18:05,156 --> 00:18:07,725
Mostly not your fault.
490
00:18:07,792 --> 00:18:11,095
Mama, you moving in with us
when the time comes
491
00:18:11,162 --> 00:18:13,631
can give us a chance to grow closer.
492
00:18:13,698 --> 00:18:14,932
But that's never gonna happen
493
00:18:14,999 --> 00:18:17,602
when you think everything I do is wrong.
494
00:18:17,668 --> 00:18:19,637
I don't think that.
495
00:18:19,704 --> 00:18:21,406
Honey, the only reason I chose you
496
00:18:21,472 --> 00:18:23,174
is because I know you can handle it.
497
00:18:23,241 --> 00:18:26,277
Yeah, but I can't handle it like this.
498
00:18:26,344 --> 00:18:29,447
And if we're gonna do this,
things are gonna have to change.
499
00:18:33,551 --> 00:18:34,819
Okay.
500
00:18:34,886 --> 00:18:37,655
Although it's hard
to teach a dog of a certain age
501
00:18:37,722 --> 00:18:38,923
new tricks...
502
00:18:38,990 --> 00:18:40,658
Mom.
503
00:18:40,725 --> 00:18:42,760
Okay. I'll change.
504
00:18:43,728 --> 00:18:47,298
As soon as you change
that channel for me.
505
00:18:47,365 --> 00:18:49,500
You're right here.
506
00:18:49,567 --> 00:18:51,702
It's not like I'm calling you at work.
507
00:18:51,769 --> 00:18:52,804
Mm-hmm.
508
00:18:52,870 --> 00:18:55,106
And because she stood up for herself,
509
00:18:55,173 --> 00:18:58,176
my mother got a fresh start
with her mother.
510
00:18:58,242 --> 00:18:59,710
One channel.
511
00:18:59,777 --> 00:19:01,679
Oh. I love you.
512
00:19:01,746 --> 00:19:03,548
Love you.
513
00:19:05,950 --> 00:19:07,819
- Hey, Aunt Dee-Dee.
- Hey, girl.
514
00:19:07,885 --> 00:19:09,487
You know, at first, I felt bad
515
00:19:09,554 --> 00:19:10,655
that you didn't want to live with me.
516
00:19:10,721 --> 00:19:12,323
I was even gonna get rid of my dog farm
517
00:19:12,390 --> 00:19:13,524
so you would change your mind.
518
00:19:13,591 --> 00:19:14,625
Oh, honey, you should be feeling bad
519
00:19:14,692 --> 00:19:17,195
for dreaming so small.
520
00:19:17,261 --> 00:19:19,630
But this week, I've seen
Mom taking care of Grandma
521
00:19:19,697 --> 00:19:21,332
and how stressed that made her.
522
00:19:21,399 --> 00:19:22,533
I don't want that for myself.
523
00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:24,402
So I have a new plan.
524
00:19:24,468 --> 00:19:26,871
I'm gonna go to USC,
marry a wonderful man,
525
00:19:26,938 --> 00:19:28,139
become a doctor,
526
00:19:28,206 --> 00:19:30,708
and have a great family
with wonderful children.
527
00:19:30,775 --> 00:19:33,144
And I am never, ever,
ever going to allow
528
00:19:33,169 --> 00:19:34,992
extended family to live with me.
529
00:19:35,813 --> 00:19:37,081
Mama!
530
00:19:37,148 --> 00:19:38,816
Baby boy!
531
00:19:38,891 --> 00:19:43,562
Yeah, so, the extended family
part I got wrong.
532
00:19:43,621 --> 00:19:45,656
Well, I love you too much
to fight with you
533
00:19:45,723 --> 00:19:48,593
over how many drifters you gonna
let sleep on your couch.
534
00:19:48,659 --> 00:19:51,829
Plus, I plan on living
with some Tenderoni.
535
00:19:51,896 --> 00:19:54,732
Your Aunt Dee-Dee plans
on having a kept young man,
536
00:19:54,799 --> 00:19:57,568
and he's gonna take care of me
in my old age.
537
00:19:57,635 --> 00:19:59,937
Maybe I haven't found my perfect guy
538
00:20:00,004 --> 00:20:02,940
because he hasn't been born yet.
539
00:20:03,007 --> 00:20:04,508
That's so gross.
540
00:20:07,512 --> 00:20:08,513
You wanna try some?
541
00:20:08,579 --> 00:20:10,797
No, no.
542
00:20:12,851 --> 00:20:15,616
Guys, now we know there can be
a lot of feelings
543
00:20:15,641 --> 00:20:18,437
of obligation and responsibility
around family.
544
00:20:18,492 --> 00:20:20,794
That's right, and we never want
to put that burden on you.
545
00:20:20,828 --> 00:20:22,234
So, we've made some investments,
546
00:20:22,296 --> 00:20:24,496
and, uh, we've got
a nice little nest egg going.
547
00:20:24,563 --> 00:20:26,658
Mm-hmm. We really diversified.
548
00:20:26,721 --> 00:20:28,456
We bought stock in Kinko's,
549
00:20:28,523 --> 00:20:30,325
- Kodak, Blockbuster...
- Mm-hmm.
550
00:20:30,391 --> 00:20:32,360
So, in about 40 years,
we're gonna be sitting pretty.
551
00:20:32,427 --> 00:20:34,228
Uh-huh. We're not gonna be
living in a van
552
00:20:34,295 --> 00:20:35,997
that runs off of poop
or anything like that.
553
00:20:37,231 --> 00:20:40,068
That's a weirdly specific example.
554
00:20:40,134 --> 00:20:41,235
Yeah.
555
00:20:41,302 --> 00:20:42,804
Why would you even say that?
556
00:20:42,861 --> 00:20:45,275
We're saying that's not going to happen.
557
00:20:45,338 --> 00:20:46,808
- No poop.
- Mnh-mnh.
558
00:20:46,874 --> 00:20:50,178
The old RV runs on vegetable oil
and animal waste.
559
00:20:50,244 --> 00:20:51,979
- Mm.
- Smooth ride,
560
00:20:52,046 --> 00:20:53,414
crappy mileage.
561
00:20:53,481 --> 00:20:54,482
Yeah, I get it.
562
00:20:54,549 --> 00:20:55,917
'Cause it runs on crap.
563
00:20:55,984 --> 00:20:58,075
Should we be worried?
564
00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:00,288
We should have been worried.
565
00:21:02,490 --> 00:21:05,226
- Subs by kinglouisxx -
for www.addic7ed.com
40819
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