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1
00:00:35,937 --> 00:00:39,816
- That's a little scary.
- Stop trying to wind me up.
2
00:00:39,899 --> 00:00:43,161
I think you have a real hang-up
with the term "stalker".
3
00:00:43,236 --> 00:00:47,791
No, I just fail to see
how you showing up at my museum
4
00:00:47,865 --> 00:00:51,543
every day for, like, two weeks
makes me the stalker,
5
00:00:51,619 --> 00:00:55,213
when, clearly, it makes you the stalker.
6
00:00:55,289 --> 00:00:59,002
The most important thing
to remember here... Hand, please.
7
00:00:59,085 --> 00:01:01,256
These past two months
8
00:01:01,337 --> 00:01:07,185
have really truly been
the happiest two months of your life.
9
00:01:07,260 --> 00:01:09,347
- I love you.
- I love you, too.
10
00:01:09,428 --> 00:01:11,564
- There you go.
- Wait. Excuse me.
11
00:01:11,639 --> 00:01:14,189
Son of a bitch.
12
00:01:14,267 --> 00:01:18,443
I tell him no olives and he brings olives,
and that's a problem because...
13
00:01:18,521 --> 00:01:21,700
- You hate olives.
- I hate olives. I hate olives.
14
00:01:21,774 --> 00:01:24,360
Don't move. I'm on it.
15
00:01:28,030 --> 00:01:29,371
There.
16
00:01:29,448 --> 00:01:32,497
Crisis averted.
17
00:01:32,577 --> 00:01:35,376
You know, usually, I would be
18
00:01:35,454 --> 00:01:39,714
completely disgusted with someone
sticking their fingers into my drink,
19
00:01:39,792 --> 00:01:43,174
but with you, not so much. In fact, it...
20
00:01:44,380 --> 00:01:47,014
it adds a certain Melinda zestiness to it.
21
00:01:47,091 --> 00:01:49,772
Well, we make a good team.
22
00:01:51,095 --> 00:01:53,432
Yes, we do.
23
00:01:54,473 --> 00:01:58,484
Well, I am going to go powder my nose.
24
00:01:58,561 --> 00:02:05,027
Do me a favour? If the waiter comes back,
make sure there are no olives in my cake.
25
00:02:05,109 --> 00:02:08,039
I like that.
26
00:02:12,366 --> 00:02:14,502
Spence. Spence.
27
00:02:14,577 --> 00:02:17,709
- All right, man. It's time.
- Time for what?
28
00:02:18,205 --> 00:02:21,800
Time for me to get engaged.
You were gonna put this in her sundae.
29
00:02:21,876 --> 00:02:24,177
Yeah. Right.
30
00:02:24,253 --> 00:02:26,139
Nice rock.
31
00:02:26,213 --> 00:02:28,100
Thanks.
32
00:02:33,638 --> 00:02:34,931
Oh, boy.
33
00:02:37,350 --> 00:02:41,691
Sorry. It was packed.
I just had to fight for a mirror.
34
00:02:41,771 --> 00:02:44,868
Here we are. A sundae for the gentleman,
35
00:02:44,941 --> 00:02:47,242
and chocolate cake for the lady.
36
00:02:47,318 --> 00:02:52,123
Actually, I think that
she had the sundae and I had the cake.
37
00:02:52,615 --> 00:02:54,667
OK. Got it.
38
00:03:00,039 --> 00:03:02,459
So, Mel,
39
00:03:02,541 --> 00:03:06,089
I'm glad you stalked me because...
40
00:03:07,129 --> 00:03:11,555
I never met anyone like
you before, and I...
41
00:03:11,634 --> 00:03:16,604
I know that we've only been dating
a little while,
42
00:03:16,681 --> 00:03:20,477
but I just feel like I have known you
43
00:03:20,559 --> 00:03:23,145
my... my whole...
44
00:03:23,229 --> 00:03:26,112
my whole life. Are you chewing that?
45
00:03:26,190 --> 00:03:28,527
My God.
46
00:03:28,609 --> 00:03:31,623
Praise Jesus. Praise Jesus!
47
00:03:31,696 --> 00:03:33,083
Calvin.
48
00:03:33,155 --> 00:03:35,374
I knew you'd do it.
49
00:03:36,492 --> 00:03:42,045
Excuse me one second. I just wanna take that...
Just a little quick search for...
50
00:03:42,123 --> 00:03:45,800
- All right. Be right back.
- I'm calling Mama.
51
00:03:45,876 --> 00:03:48,973
Hi. Hi. I'm sorry.
I think there's been a mistake.
52
00:03:49,046 --> 00:03:52,890
Mama. I'm getting married, Mama.
53
00:03:52,967 --> 00:03:56,680
Ma'am? Ma'am? Pardon me.
Ma'am. Ma'am, that's my ring.
54
00:03:56,762 --> 00:03:58,933
Hang on, Mama.
55
00:04:00,057 --> 00:04:03,320
- May I help you?
- Yes.
56
00:04:03,394 --> 00:04:08,282
I'm so sorry, but I think the waiter
mistakenly brought you the wrong sundae.
57
00:04:08,357 --> 00:04:11,490
See, that's my grandmother's ring.
58
00:04:11,569 --> 00:04:13,740
I think you better go sit over there
59
00:04:13,821 --> 00:04:15,909
before my fiance here
60
00:04:15,990 --> 00:04:18,077
whups your ass.
61
00:04:19,744 --> 00:04:22,958
OK. How about I buy both of your dinners?
62
00:04:23,039 --> 00:04:26,752
Good? Yes. Except,
I'm gonna need that back though, so...
63
00:04:27,335 --> 00:04:29,422
OK, baby. Whup his ass.
64
00:04:29,503 --> 00:04:31,306
Baby, the thing is...
65
00:04:31,380 --> 00:04:37,893
The thing is,
I haven't waited 17 years on your sorry ass
66
00:04:37,970 --> 00:04:43,024
to let this white shadow
come and spoil my engagement.
67
00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:45,568
It's either you whup his ass, Calvin,
68
00:04:46,604 --> 00:04:49,701
or I whup yours.
69
00:04:51,150 --> 00:04:53,036
Yeah.
70
00:04:53,110 --> 00:04:55,993
You need to go now.
71
00:04:56,072 --> 00:04:59,666
- Right. OK.
- Mama. Yes.
72
00:04:59,742 --> 00:05:01,498
How about...
73
00:05:01,577 --> 00:05:03,713
Thief! Help!
74
00:05:08,376 --> 00:05:12,552
Give me my ring. Give me my ring.
75
00:05:15,466 --> 00:05:17,139
Well,
76
00:05:17,218 --> 00:05:20,315
this wasn't exactly what I had planned.
77
00:05:22,848 --> 00:05:26,941
Look, I know we haven't been together long,
78
00:05:27,019 --> 00:05:32,785
but you know when something just feels right
and you don't want that feeling to end?
79
00:05:32,858 --> 00:05:35,658
OK, Romeo. Save it for your cellmate.
80
00:05:35,736 --> 00:05:39,449
Whoa, Clancy, give the kid a minute.
81
00:05:39,532 --> 00:05:42,379
- Thank you.
- No problem.
82
00:05:43,077 --> 00:05:46,292
Long story short, I love you.
83
00:05:46,372 --> 00:05:48,211
I love you.
84
00:05:48,291 --> 00:05:50,461
Will...
85
00:05:52,628 --> 00:05:54,468
will you...
86
00:05:56,966 --> 00:05:59,137
will you marry me?
87
00:05:59,218 --> 00:06:02,101
Yes, I will marry you.
88
00:06:06,517 --> 00:06:09,447
OK. Congrats and all that.
89
00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:14,242
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say can be used against you...
90
00:06:14,317 --> 00:06:16,119
I'm gonna go now.
91
00:06:21,198 --> 00:06:23,334
Dude, are you fucking with me?
92
00:06:23,409 --> 00:06:26,541
"Congratulations"
might be appropriate here, Derek.
93
00:06:26,621 --> 00:06:30,500
You've dated for two months.
I've had this cold sore longer than that.
94
00:06:30,583 --> 00:06:33,798
This, coming from a guy
who's been married three times?
95
00:06:33,878 --> 00:06:37,509
Have you learned nothing from me, man?
I am a cautionary tale.
96
00:06:37,590 --> 00:06:40,520
I am Jesus. I have suffered for your sins.
97
00:06:42,303 --> 00:06:44,522
Please let that be a fart.
98
00:06:49,685 --> 00:06:52,236
Yeah, baby. Suck it, losers.
99
00:06:54,065 --> 00:06:57,612
OK. That was definitely not a fart.
100
00:06:57,693 --> 00:07:03,709
You know, I think that bee-yatch is feeding
this thing Indian food just to screw with me.
101
00:07:05,952 --> 00:07:09,380
Yeah, you did a poop. Yeah.
102
00:07:11,749 --> 00:07:14,597
Any of you need changing?
103
00:07:14,669 --> 00:07:17,219
Hey, where's... where's Seth? He's up.
104
00:07:17,296 --> 00:07:21,353
He's looking for a ball. He didn't
have time to stop at home and get his.
105
00:07:21,425 --> 00:07:23,845
How hard is it to find a ball?
106
00:07:43,573 --> 00:07:46,586
Sorry, fellas. I'm on the DL tonight.
107
00:07:46,659 --> 00:07:49,874
I don't think there's a disabled list
for bowling, buddy.
108
00:07:49,954 --> 00:07:52,802
Ron, how can you abandon me
with these two losers?
109
00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:58,046
I'm not. Just cos I'm getting married, doesn't
mean I'm not gonna be here for bowling night
110
00:07:58,129 --> 00:08:02,519
or fishing weekend
or Jason's biannual pornapalooza.
111
00:08:04,218 --> 00:08:07,433
- You know, nothing's gonna change.
- Yeah.
112
00:08:07,513 --> 00:08:10,527
Well, that's what I thought.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
113
00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:15,606
I've got to get little shit-machine back to
his gold-digging whore of a mother.
114
00:08:15,688 --> 00:08:18,073
Hey, don't forget your ball.
115
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:35,928
I was talking with the mayor,
116
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:41,173
and I put a bug in his ear about
having the reception at the opera house.
117
00:08:41,255 --> 00:08:47,187
You know, Mom, we were thinking of
having a small, simple wedding.
118
00:08:47,261 --> 00:08:50,393
Honestly, Melinda, we're not Amish.
119
00:08:52,141 --> 00:08:54,645
I'll get it.
120
00:08:57,647 --> 00:09:00,826
My little sister's engaged.
121
00:09:00,900 --> 00:09:03,747
- Hi, beautiful.
- Hi, Todd.
122
00:09:03,819 --> 00:09:06,240
Sorry, can't hear.
123
00:09:08,491 --> 00:09:10,578
He's always working.
124
00:09:10,660 --> 00:09:15,915
Let me ask you something. Is it wrong
to want to tap sister-in-law's ass? Right?
125
00:09:15,998 --> 00:09:19,213
I gotta go-
126
00:09:19,293 --> 00:09:24,846
- Honey. Remember when we got engaged?
- How could I forget?
127
00:09:24,924 --> 00:09:29,563
Let's go on a second honeymoon.
Someplace romantic, maybe make a baby.
128
00:09:29,637 --> 00:09:32,485
Hey, there's your dad.
129
00:09:32,556 --> 00:09:36,234
Abe. Did you hear the one
about the horny jockey and the stable boy?
130
00:09:36,310 --> 00:09:40,154
No, but I think I like it already.
131
00:09:43,359 --> 00:09:44,949
Hey, guys.
132
00:09:47,989 --> 00:09:53,339
Speak English. English.
Look, go watch some TV, huh?
133
00:09:54,829 --> 00:09:57,379
- They're so cute.
- Sorry about that.
134
00:09:57,456 --> 00:09:59,924
They're from the second marriage.
135
00:10:00,001 --> 00:10:04,260
The ex only lets 'em speak to me
in Mandarin, the hairy ass-crack.
136
00:10:04,338 --> 00:10:08,598
- Yeah.
- Anyways, congratulations.
137
00:10:08,676 --> 00:10:11,179
Thank you.
138
00:10:12,805 --> 00:10:14,941
Sure. Yeah.
139
00:10:16,642 --> 00:10:18,612
OK.
140
00:10:28,696 --> 00:10:33,750
- How's my baby?
- My mother's killing me with wedding crap.
141
00:10:33,826 --> 00:10:39,343
- I don't think I can take another year of this.
- Well, we could just elope, of course.
142
00:10:39,415 --> 00:10:41,919
Then she'd kill both of us.
143
00:10:42,001 --> 00:10:44,088
What are you doing?
144
00:10:44,170 --> 00:10:46,056
You.
145
00:10:49,342 --> 00:10:54,645
- Baby, we're in the pantry.
- That's a good point.
146
00:10:54,722 --> 00:10:57,570
What are you doing? My God.
147
00:10:57,642 --> 00:10:59,729
Sex elevator
148
00:11:02,063 --> 00:11:03,819
You are so stupid.
149
00:11:15,618 --> 00:11:18,667
Hey, would it kill you
to buy some groceries, man?
150
00:11:18,746 --> 00:11:21,463
If the Mystics had covered
the spread, I could.
151
00:11:21,540 --> 00:11:24,720
The Mystics? You're betting on the WNBA?
152
00:11:27,088 --> 00:11:28,678
Well, hello.
153
00:11:28,756 --> 00:11:32,054
Hi. I'm Judith. I work with Mel.
154
00:11:32,134 --> 00:11:34,555
Hey, Judith. I'm Jason.
155
00:11:34,637 --> 00:11:38,101
I'm Ron's best friend,
since childhood. Yeah.
156
00:11:38,182 --> 00:11:41,065
And this is Seth, his college roommate,
157
00:11:41,143 --> 00:11:43,777
and that's Derek, used to be his boss.
158
00:11:43,854 --> 00:11:46,073
Are you all in finance?
159
00:11:46,148 --> 00:11:48,948
Actually, I'm in consumer products testing.
160
00:11:57,994 --> 00:12:02,882
- Derek, do you still work with Ron?
- No, I left that company a while back.
161
00:12:02,957 --> 00:12:06,504
But I'm still in finance, you know.
162
00:12:06,586 --> 00:12:11,058
I'm telling you, she had a pine-tree
air freshener in her underpants. Gotta go.
163
00:12:12,383 --> 00:12:16,014
- And what do you do?
- I am in the advertising game.
164
00:12:26,188 --> 00:12:29,950
- Yeah.
- Advertising? That sounds exciting.
165
00:12:30,026 --> 00:12:32,743
It is. Yeah, it is.
166
00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:37,292
You know, Judith, you're a friend of Mel's
and I'm a friend of Ron's,
167
00:12:37,366 --> 00:12:40,296
so I'm thinking we should get together.
168
00:12:40,953 --> 00:12:44,002
You know, maybe grab a pizza, fuck?
169
00:12:47,293 --> 00:12:49,179
No?
170
00:12:49,253 --> 00:12:51,804
You don't like pizza?
171
00:12:51,881 --> 00:12:54,301
Seriously, who doesn't like pizza?
172
00:12:54,926 --> 00:12:57,690
All right, everyone. Everyone.
173
00:12:58,179 --> 00:13:00,563
I don't know how to say this, but
174
00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:05,195
Mel and I could not come to an agreement
on wedding colours, so we are breaking up.
175
00:13:05,269 --> 00:13:08,402
I'm very sorry. Everyone drive safe.
176
00:13:08,481 --> 00:13:11,993
Yes. Welcome back, buddy.
177
00:13:13,444 --> 00:13:16,244
He was kidding.
178
00:13:16,322 --> 00:13:19,335
- Sorry, Mel.
- It's OK.
179
00:13:20,451 --> 00:13:23,630
Anyway, two short months ago,
180
00:13:23,704 --> 00:13:29,054
I wandered into the Cleveland Museum
of Modern Alt. I was, of course, lost,
181
00:13:29,126 --> 00:13:33,931
but then I laid eyes on
the best exhibit in the whole joint,
182
00:13:34,006 --> 00:13:36,094
Mel.
183
00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:42,232
Now, I know that two months
is an awfully short time to get engaged,
184
00:13:42,306 --> 00:13:46,482
but, to be honest with you,
I was ready to propose on that first day.
185
00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:52,327
So, needless to say,
when Mel proposed, I said yes.
186
00:13:53,401 --> 00:13:58,953
I didn't want her to change her mind, so we set a date.
On May 31, one month from today,
187
00:13:59,031 --> 00:14:04,584
you are all invited to our open bar, which will
also feature our wedding, but, you know...
188
00:14:04,662 --> 00:14:07,047
All right, let's get drunk.
189
00:14:09,458 --> 00:14:14,762
Hey, Derek, why is your kid
dropping a deuce in that plant?
190
00:14:15,881 --> 00:14:18,183
Jesus, stop it.
191
00:14:24,724 --> 00:14:28,734
Abe, I was taking a look at the numbers.
I think we've got some dead weight.
192
00:14:28,811 --> 00:14:30,947
Look. Take a look at this.
193
00:14:31,022 --> 00:14:34,035
- Hey, fellas.
- Ron, come in.
194
00:14:34,108 --> 00:14:37,655
- Abe, you're a whisky man. Is that right?
- Absolutely.
195
00:14:37,737 --> 00:14:42,079
- All right. I got something here for you.
- What have we got here?
196
00:14:44,368 --> 00:14:46,005
That's nice. What is this?
197
00:14:46,078 --> 00:14:48,380
Jameson's 30-year private reserve.
198
00:14:48,456 --> 00:14:52,252
I'm half Irish, so I support the motherland.
I brought you a bottle.
199
00:14:52,335 --> 00:14:55,300
You're Irish? My mother's from Galway.
200
00:14:55,379 --> 00:14:58,843
It's gonna be great
to get some more Irish blood in the family.
201
00:14:58,925 --> 00:15:03,433
You know, Todd here is English,
but we try not to think about that.
202
00:15:04,180 --> 00:15:08,237
- You like Cubans?
- Yes. Thank you.
203
00:15:08,309 --> 00:15:13,149
From what I understand, Ron,
you're a... you're a numbers man.
204
00:15:13,230 --> 00:15:15,401
Yes, sir. I'm a financial consultant.
205
00:15:15,483 --> 00:15:17,702
I started out as a numbers man.
206
00:15:17,777 --> 00:15:21,834
In fact, Ron, you remind me a lot of myself
when I was a young man.
207
00:15:21,906 --> 00:15:24,670
We can always use more numbers men
in the company.
208
00:15:24,742 --> 00:15:28,373
You know, it's overrun now
with too many goddamn lawyers.
209
00:15:28,454 --> 00:15:30,874
No of fence, Todd.
210
00:15:30,957 --> 00:15:33,840
After all, it is a family business.
211
00:15:33,918 --> 00:15:38,509
- Thank you, sir. It's a very generous offer.
- No, no, no. Abe. You call me Abe.
212
00:15:38,589 --> 00:15:42,053
- Looks like you need a refill. Todd.
- Yes, sir.
213
00:15:42,134 --> 00:15:45,812
Let's go find that bottle of yours.
Take care of that, would you?
214
00:15:45,888 --> 00:15:50,776
So, Ron, have you heard the one
about the horny jockey and the stable boy?
215
00:15:50,851 --> 00:15:53,948
No, but it sounds painful.
216
00:15:55,147 --> 00:15:58,576
It's been a great couple of months,
and I can honestly say
217
00:15:58,651 --> 00:16:02,613
that you are the best two interns
we have ever had here.
218
00:16:02,697 --> 00:16:05,165
Unfortunately, we can only hire one of you.
219
00:16:05,241 --> 00:16:10,081
So, let the best intern win.
220
00:16:16,502 --> 00:16:18,721
Get in there, Maxie. Get in there.
221
00:16:21,924 --> 00:16:24,558
Get angry. Get angry.
222
00:16:26,012 --> 00:16:29,025
That's not good.
223
00:16:29,098 --> 00:16:32,480
- Hello?
- Ronnie. It's Todd.
224
00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:35,194
Hey, Todd, what's going on?
225
00:16:35,271 --> 00:16:39,032
Just a little thing called your bachelor party.
What's the plan?
226
00:16:39,108 --> 00:16:44,826
I don't know. My buddies are big fans of
"Two-for-Tuesday" lap dances at Spanky's.
227
00:16:44,906 --> 00:16:48,998
Listen, Ron, this is your last hurrah.
We've gotta do this thing in style.
228
00:16:49,076 --> 00:16:51,876
I'm thinking we fly somewhere warm.
229
00:16:51,954 --> 00:16:56,095
Where the drinks have umbrellas,
the hotels are five stars,
230
00:16:56,167 --> 00:16:58,966
and vagina flows like water.
231
00:16:59,045 --> 00:17:01,762
Sweet, sticky water.
232
00:17:01,839 --> 00:17:05,980
Wow. That sounds great,
but some of the guys are on tight budgets.
233
00:17:06,052 --> 00:17:11,734
That's what the company card's for, right?
Like Abe said, this is a family business.
234
00:17:11,807 --> 00:17:16,149
Look, that is very generous of you,
but I can't let you pay for all that.
235
00:17:16,604 --> 00:17:20,151
Look, I'm really happy
that you're marrying Mel.
236
00:17:21,234 --> 00:17:27,000
I always wanted a brother, but, unfortunately,
my mother died when I was pretty young.
237
00:17:27,990 --> 00:17:31,288
Look, I know we're not blood
or anything, but...
238
00:17:31,369 --> 00:17:36,339
Look, I would be honoured if you would let
me throw my new brother his bachelor party.
239
00:17:36,415 --> 00:17:39,630
Well, of course, Todd. Absolutely.
240
00:17:39,710 --> 00:17:41,347
Awesome.
241
00:17:41,420 --> 00:17:45,133
Listen, you probably wanna
get some sleep, bro-ham,
242
00:17:45,216 --> 00:17:48,313
cos you're gonna need it.
243
00:17:48,386 --> 00:17:51,269
Wow, Todd, I'm so sorry about your mom.
244
00:17:51,347 --> 00:17:53,482
I never knew.
245
00:17:53,557 --> 00:17:55,859
Billy, are you fucking retarded?
246
00:17:55,935 --> 00:18:01,570
She's not dead. She's in Phoenix with her
second husband and her third set of tits.
247
00:18:01,649 --> 00:18:03,488
I'm sorry.
248
00:18:03,568 --> 00:18:05,822
Yeah. Yeah, you are.
249
00:18:05,903 --> 00:18:08,240
Now, look,
250
00:18:08,322 --> 00:18:11,371
I need recon on this guy, Ron Simmons.
251
00:18:11,450 --> 00:18:14,998
I want to know everything about him,
every little detail.
252
00:18:15,079 --> 00:18:17,760
Every man has his weakness, Billy,
253
00:18:17,832 --> 00:18:20,051
and I wanna know his.
254
00:18:20,126 --> 00:18:24,551
The old man's stepping down soon.
I'm next in line.
255
00:18:24,630 --> 00:18:28,178
I haven't been sleeping with
his cow of a daughter for three years
256
00:18:28,259 --> 00:18:32,898
just so Daddy's little favourite
can come in and take it from me.
257
00:18:35,891 --> 00:18:42,155
Sadly, Billy, I just don't think this
little union's gonna make it to the altar.
258
00:18:44,025 --> 00:18:46,528
- Let's go. I'm still sober.
- Come on.
259
00:18:46,611 --> 00:18:51,866
The chicks in South Beach
aren't gonna fuck themselves.
260
00:18:52,408 --> 00:18:54,828
- Hey, Mel.
- Hey, boys.
261
00:18:55,870 --> 00:18:58,587
I love you, baby doll. I'll see you soon.
262
00:18:59,665 --> 00:19:02,798
Hey. What's that for?
263
00:19:02,877 --> 00:19:06,139
Well, you gotta buy the groom a lap dance.
264
00:19:06,213 --> 00:19:08,384
Pick a hottie.
265
00:19:08,466 --> 00:19:11,515
See, that's why I'm marrying you.
266
00:19:13,804 --> 00:19:17,731
Shit. It's my first wife.
Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go.
267
00:19:17,808 --> 00:19:19,481
Love you.
268
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:22,241
Go, go, go, go. Come on, go.
269
00:19:34,909 --> 00:19:39,168
Nice try, asshole.
It's your weekend with your son, remember?
270
00:19:39,247 --> 00:19:41,715
Hey, it's Ron's bachelor party.
271
00:19:41,791 --> 00:19:45,338
That is your problem, shit for brains.
272
00:19:46,379 --> 00:19:49,143
Ron, congratulations.
273
00:19:49,215 --> 00:19:53,770
Marriage is a beautiful thing
and I am so very happy for you.
274
00:19:53,844 --> 00:19:55,731
Asswipe.
275
00:19:56,806 --> 00:19:58,977
Thanks, Irene.
276
00:20:00,726 --> 00:20:07,453
Sorry you're not going to make it, Derek. That sucks.
Get in the van, Ron. Ticktock, ticktock.
277
00:20:07,525 --> 00:20:11,238
All right, I'm going, OK?
My life knows no joy.
278
00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:15,543
All I know is work
and alimony payments and baby-sitting, OK?
279
00:20:15,616 --> 00:20:20,871
So if you think I'm missing out on a weekend
of drunken debauchery, you're mistaken.
280
00:20:20,955 --> 00:20:24,917
Well, he can't come with.
This is a bachelor party, not Romper Room.
281
00:20:25,001 --> 00:20:26,554
Ron?
282
00:20:26,752 --> 00:20:28,389
Ron?
283
00:20:28,588 --> 00:20:29,928
Ron?
284
00:20:34,051 --> 00:20:35,938
Wait a minute.
285
00:20:36,012 --> 00:20:37,353
This?
286
00:20:37,805 --> 00:20:40,605
This is your future
father-in-law's plane, man?
287
00:20:40,683 --> 00:20:44,942
- Way to go, Federline.
- And Todd is gonna pay for the weekend?
288
00:20:45,021 --> 00:20:47,322
Yeah, I guess so.
289
00:20:47,398 --> 00:20:51,278
- Sounds gay to me, man.
- Yeah, we don't have to put out, do we?
290
00:20:51,360 --> 00:20:55,073
Yeah, I'm not sleeping with
your brother-in-law, Ron.
291
00:21:01,287 --> 00:21:03,873
What a douche.
292
00:21:03,956 --> 00:21:06,542
My niggaz.
293
00:21:09,045 --> 00:21:10,765
What about this?
294
00:21:10,838 --> 00:21:13,887
So, guys, this is Todd. Todd, the guys.
295
00:21:13,966 --> 00:21:16,814
Gentlemen, let's do this.
296
00:21:17,470 --> 00:21:19,391
- Nice sweater.
- Shotgun.
297
00:21:19,472 --> 00:21:22,271
Whoa. What's with the kid?
298
00:21:22,350 --> 00:21:24,853
Don't worry. He's the mature one.
299
00:21:25,895 --> 00:21:28,280
Perfect.
300
00:21:32,235 --> 00:21:34,287
Man.
301
00:21:35,321 --> 00:21:38,204
What? What?
302
00:21:38,282 --> 00:21:41,212
OK, OK. Listen, guys, take your s...
303
00:21:41,285 --> 00:21:44,963
- Why don't you have any pants on?
- This is a private plane, right?
304
00:21:45,039 --> 00:21:48,052
Them's my privates.
305
00:21:48,125 --> 00:21:53,049
A couple of flight attendants will go over
some safety precautions. It's not a big deal.
306
00:21:53,130 --> 00:21:54,388
Great.
307
00:21:54,465 --> 00:21:56,553
Ladies.
308
00:21:57,927 --> 00:22:01,024
- Hello, boys. I'm Mandy.
- And I'm Sandy.
309
00:22:01,097 --> 00:22:05,605
And I am in the upright
and locked position. Yeah.
310
00:22:05,685 --> 00:22:08,402
We'll be serving you
all the way to sunny Florida.
311
00:22:08,479 --> 00:22:12,110
And I've got two million
airline miles. Yeah.
312
00:22:12,191 --> 00:22:15,039
Hey, Derek. Offspring.
313
00:22:15,111 --> 00:22:17,330
Jeez. Hold on.
314
00:22:18,364 --> 00:22:20,535
Come on, Melvoid. Let's go.
315
00:22:20,616 --> 00:22:23,998
- It's Tommy, dumb-ass.
- Go see Captain Larry in the cockpit.
316
00:22:24,078 --> 00:22:27,921
- I don't want to go to the cockpit.
- Don't forget to wipe your ass.
317
00:22:30,334 --> 00:22:36,218
In the event of a water landing, you will find
several flotation devices on board the aircraft.
318
00:22:42,638 --> 00:22:44,524
Talk to me, Billy.
319
00:22:44,599 --> 00:22:48,062
I've checked you into the suite
and the bar is fully stocked.
320
00:22:48,144 --> 00:22:51,525
- What about decorations for the room?
- I'm taking care of it.
321
00:23:04,702 --> 00:23:07,383
Guys, come on. Let me out.
322
00:23:18,174 --> 00:23:20,261
You, sir, know how to travel.
323
00:23:21,636 --> 00:23:26,191
- Well, nothing is too good for my new bro.
- All right.
324
00:23:28,017 --> 00:23:31,778
Speaking of which,
have you ever had two girls at once?
325
00:23:31,854 --> 00:23:35,448
Actually, sadly, no. But... Have you?
326
00:23:35,524 --> 00:23:37,826
Of course, or else I wouldn't be married.
327
00:23:37,902 --> 00:23:42,742
Listen, I cannot let my new brother
get married until he has had a hat trick,
328
00:23:42,823 --> 00:23:46,703
and I happen to have it
on very good authority
329
00:23:46,786 --> 00:23:50,333
that Sandy and Mandy are...
330
00:23:50,414 --> 00:23:52,336
morally flexible.
331
00:23:52,416 --> 00:23:54,801
And I love that about them. I do.
332
00:23:54,877 --> 00:24:00,097
But, I don't know, I think this weekend I just
want to hang out with you guys and get drunk
333
00:24:00,174 --> 00:24:03,188
and maybe crap my pants.
334
00:24:03,261 --> 00:24:06,274
- I'm a traditionalist.
- OK.
335
00:24:06,347 --> 00:24:11,899
I'm going to let this little Boy-Scout routine
fly for now, but let me tell you something.
336
00:24:11,978 --> 00:24:15,489
My motto in business, and in life,
337
00:24:15,564 --> 00:24:17,700
is "balls to the wall".
338
00:24:17,775 --> 00:24:24,205
Now, the mark of a good bachelor party is
the bachelor getting laid early and often,
339
00:24:24,282 --> 00:24:28,078
and the Todd only throws
the best bachelor parties.
340
00:24:33,416 --> 00:24:36,630
- Ladies, do your worst.
- Guys, I'm fine.
341
00:24:36,711 --> 00:24:40,139
I really don't want a lap dance
right now, OK? I'm fine.
342
00:24:40,214 --> 00:24:44,853
Whoa. Wait, can I just... A little Purell first?
Like, two squirts, please?
343
00:24:44,927 --> 00:24:47,893
Shut it, germ boy.
344
00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:50,684
Dear God.
345
00:25:05,615 --> 00:25:07,750
- Bye.
- All right.
346
00:25:07,825 --> 00:25:10,329
Thank you, ladies.
347
00:25:12,788 --> 00:25:14,260
Drained it.
348
00:25:14,332 --> 00:25:18,472
- See you on the internet.
- See you on the way back.
349
00:25:18,544 --> 00:25:20,845
See ya. Thanks.
350
00:25:36,729 --> 00:25:38,366
All right?
351
00:25:38,439 --> 00:25:42,699
Way to go. One minute in Miami
and two broken arms. That's our Seth.
352
00:25:42,777 --> 00:25:45,624
All right, gentlemen, listen up.
This is Billy.
353
00:25:45,696 --> 00:25:48,959
He's going to help us
with the festivities this weekend.
354
00:25:49,033 --> 00:25:51,501
- What's up?
- Let's check it out.
355
00:25:51,577 --> 00:25:54,128
Come on. Left, right.
356
00:25:57,333 --> 00:26:00,465
Welcome to the presidential suite.
357
00:26:02,255 --> 00:26:08,222
My God. They're really letting me
in this place? Look at this.
358
00:26:08,302 --> 00:26:12,312
Dip my balls in champagne,
cos I'm in heaven.
359
00:26:12,390 --> 00:26:14,276
Groovy, Todd.
360
00:26:14,350 --> 00:26:18,146
Damn, Ron, I might just bang
your brother-in-law after all, man.
361
00:26:18,229 --> 00:26:21,326
Well, thanks for that image.
362
00:26:21,399 --> 00:26:23,985
Jeez. You good over there, Seth?
363
00:26:24,068 --> 00:26:26,038
- Yeah.
- All right, pal.
364
00:26:26,112 --> 00:26:29,374
- This place is amazing. Thank you.
- Nothing but the best.
365
00:26:29,448 --> 00:26:33,079
Now, there is one more stop on the tour.
366
00:26:36,539 --> 00:26:39,220
Yeah.
367
00:26:39,709 --> 00:26:43,885
Gentlemen, say hello to my little friends.
368
00:27:17,330 --> 00:27:20,378
I'm just gonna hit the head.
369
00:27:20,458 --> 00:27:24,764
What are you trying to do, kill me?
There you go, sonny.
370
00:27:36,223 --> 00:27:38,110
Move.
371
00:27:39,644 --> 00:27:44,899
- So what do we got?
- There's a camera in every single room.
372
00:27:44,982 --> 00:27:48,613
Perfect. If this guy so much as pops
a stiffie, we'll get it on tape.
373
00:27:48,694 --> 00:27:49,703
Yeah.
374
00:27:50,988 --> 00:27:53,918
That German chick
said something about Hitler.
375
00:27:53,991 --> 00:27:59,378
My German's a little rusty, but I am pretty
sure that she said, "Long live Hitler."
376
00:27:59,455 --> 00:28:02,468
Seth, relax, pal. Get a massage.
377
00:28:02,541 --> 00:28:07,512
I'm serious, OK? As the only Jew here,
I feel it is my responsibility
378
00:28:07,588 --> 00:28:11,100
to be concerned
that our roommates might be Nazis.
379
00:28:11,175 --> 00:28:15,268
All right, buddy. Tell you what.
If they even think about invading Poland,
380
00:28:15,346 --> 00:28:17,896
we'll let somebody know.
381
00:28:17,974 --> 00:28:21,402
All right, Ronnie. Gin
and tonic time, buddy.
382
00:28:21,477 --> 00:28:24,574
Fire it up.
383
00:28:25,982 --> 00:28:28,236
Will you just drop it, please?
384
00:28:28,317 --> 00:28:32,030
I'm cool with your sexuality,
it's just I don't swing that way, man.
385
00:28:32,113 --> 00:28:36,752
Look, asking you to rub sun block
on my back does not make you gay.
386
00:28:36,826 --> 00:28:41,500
- You might as well have asked for a hand job.
- OK, that is just sick.
387
00:28:41,581 --> 00:28:44,345
I smell cocktail wieners.
388
00:28:44,417 --> 00:28:46,303
What?
389
00:28:47,795 --> 00:28:50,299
Eureka.
390
00:28:50,381 --> 00:28:52,635
OK.
391
00:28:52,717 --> 00:28:56,145
What are you doing?
You don't even know what the SAA is.
392
00:28:56,220 --> 00:28:58,901
It's Sales Associates of
America or some crap.
393
00:28:58,973 --> 00:29:04,062
Just talk about selling and goal realisation
and all that other Tony Robbins shit.
394
00:29:07,023 --> 00:29:11,614
- Why am I Tubbs?
- Because you, sir, are no Crockett.
395
00:29:14,405 --> 00:29:16,825
To be honest, I was nervous coming here.
396
00:29:16,908 --> 00:29:21,463
When we first proposed a Sex Addicts
Anonymous retreat, people rolled their eyes.
397
00:29:21,537 --> 00:29:24,337
Like, "Why not just call it an orgy?"
398
00:29:24,415 --> 00:29:28,212
No, you'll see. These retreats
offer a very supportive environment
399
00:29:28,294 --> 00:29:32,470
where we can focus on healing
and getting on the road to recovery.
400
00:29:32,548 --> 00:29:36,938
This weekend, sex will be
the farthest thing from your mind.
401
00:29:44,894 --> 00:29:47,065
- You like guns, Pops?
- What is that?
402
00:29:47,146 --> 00:29:52,319
The best day of my life
was the day they gave me my ten-year chip.
403
00:29:52,401 --> 00:29:56,114
Welcome. I'm Sue Hoover,
president of the Southeast chapter.
404
00:29:56,197 --> 00:29:59,459
Hi, nice to meet you, Sue. All of you.
405
00:29:59,533 --> 00:30:04,623
So what chapter are you from, Tubbs?
Is that your first name?
406
00:30:04,705 --> 00:30:06,757
Actually, that's his last name.
407
00:30:06,832 --> 00:30:10,214
Yeah, I'm Sonny
and that's my partner, Rico. Yeah.
408
00:30:10,294 --> 00:30:12,430
And we're from the Midwest chapter.
409
00:30:12,505 --> 00:30:16,811
Well, welcome, Sonny and Rico. So how long
have you two been in the programme?
410
00:30:16,884 --> 00:30:19,435
Not very.
411
00:30:19,512 --> 00:30:24,317
Well, speak for yourself, Rico, cos I've
been a member for... gosh, like, 20 years.
412
00:30:24,392 --> 00:30:27,322
20 years? My goodness.
413
00:30:27,395 --> 00:30:32,745
I got started really young. My grandpa, he was
a member, so he started teaching me early.
414
00:30:32,817 --> 00:30:37,207
Whoa. Careful there, Suzy Q. Those
things are a little tricky. Be careful.
415
00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:42,084
Yeah, between my grandpa and the Boy Scouts,
it was like I was born to be in SAA.
416
00:30:42,159 --> 00:30:46,086
- The Boy Scouts?
- Yeah, I did a lot of hustling in the Scouts.
417
00:30:46,163 --> 00:30:51,597
The Christmas-tree lot in the winter and going
door to door in the summer - whatever it took.
418
00:30:51,669 --> 00:30:56,094
My scoutmaster even said
I was the best he ever had.
419
00:30:56,173 --> 00:30:57,764
I'm fine.
420
00:30:57,842 --> 00:31:02,848
Let's not bore the nice people
with faded childhood glories there, Sonny.
421
00:31:02,930 --> 00:31:07,023
Hey, Rico, isn't that your kid over there?
422
00:31:07,101 --> 00:31:10,316
Not all women are comfortable
with a male vaginacologist,
423
00:31:10,396 --> 00:31:15,616
but I have many, many satisfied patients.
I am booking appointments.
424
00:31:15,693 --> 00:31:17,994
Come on.
425
00:31:18,070 --> 00:31:20,870
So, Betty.
426
00:31:20,948 --> 00:31:24,496
You wanna maybe grab a drink later?
You know, talk shop?
427
00:31:24,577 --> 00:31:29,251
I could always use some pointers
on my technique. OK?
428
00:31:29,332 --> 00:31:30,803
Man.
429
00:31:31,292 --> 00:31:34,389
I need to call my sponsor.
430
00:31:38,007 --> 00:31:42,183
Guys, let's go.
Strippers aren't getting any younger.
431
00:31:42,261 --> 00:31:44,812
Sonny. Sonny.
432
00:31:44,889 --> 00:31:49,314
Hey. Betty. What's... what's going on?
433
00:31:49,393 --> 00:31:53,486
Nothing, I just really enjoyed
talking with you earlier.
434
00:31:53,564 --> 00:31:57,954
Yeah? Yeah, well, that's cool. Yeah.
435
00:31:58,027 --> 00:32:01,954
Maybe... maybe we should hang out,
you know?
436
00:32:02,031 --> 00:32:04,831
Grab a pizza, fuck.
437
00:32:04,909 --> 00:32:07,543
I thought you'd never ask.
438
00:32:07,620 --> 00:32:11,001
- Pardon?
- Well, I don't eat pizza, but, whatever.
439
00:32:14,001 --> 00:32:16,884
Gentlemen, I will see you later.
440
00:32:20,549 --> 00:32:23,183
That line has never worked. I mean, ever.
441
00:32:23,261 --> 00:32:28,895
I'm gonna be really pissed if she doesn't
murder him, or at least harvest a kidney, man.
442
00:32:40,820 --> 00:32:45,708
That pole's got to be covered in crabs
and herpes and God knows what.
443
00:32:45,783 --> 00:32:50,374
I am so glad I cashed in my 401(k), man.
444
00:32:50,454 --> 00:32:53,384
Gentlemen, this booth's us.
445
00:32:53,457 --> 00:32:55,545
Come on.
446
00:33:00,881 --> 00:33:06,979
Excuse me. I hate to interrupt this meeting
of the minds, but I've got a work question.
447
00:33:07,054 --> 00:33:10,767
Who wants to make $10,000
for five minutes' work?
448
00:33:11,809 --> 00:33:15,356
Back, back. Yeah, there it is. There it is.
449
00:33:23,321 --> 00:33:25,622
Get into position.
450
00:33:32,663 --> 00:33:35,593
The conquering hero has returned.
451
00:33:37,209 --> 00:33:41,386
- Hey, that didn't take long, man.
- Trust me, she couldn't take much more.
452
00:33:41,464 --> 00:33:43,551
I fucking killed it, ninja style.
453
00:33:43,633 --> 00:33:45,934
Yeah? What, like, fast and silent?
454
00:33:46,010 --> 00:33:48,893
You know it, brother. Yeah.
455
00:33:48,971 --> 00:33:53,112
Check it out. That chick's
a dead ringer for a young Nancy Reagan.
456
00:33:53,184 --> 00:33:57,111
- So?
- I always wanted to fuck Nancy Reagan.
457
00:33:57,188 --> 00:34:01,364
I was always fond of
Geraldine Ferraro. Very sexy.
458
00:34:01,442 --> 00:34:04,574
Come on, bachelor.
You've got a date in the VIP room.
459
00:34:04,654 --> 00:34:07,287
He's going to the VIP. My God.
460
00:34:13,412 --> 00:34:15,880
You're very nimble.
461
00:34:15,957 --> 00:34:18,542
Save your energy. You're gonna need it.
462
00:34:25,091 --> 00:34:27,641
I've gotta get married more often.
463
00:34:31,806 --> 00:34:34,938
Maybe the belt
should stay buckled though. No?
464
00:34:35,017 --> 00:34:38,778
Your mom is on the phone.
Your grandma had a heart attack.
465
00:34:38,854 --> 00:34:41,191
Nana?
466
00:34:42,692 --> 00:34:45,372
My God. That's horrible. I...
467
00:34:45,820 --> 00:34:48,323
You're not going anywhere, baby.
468
00:34:50,283 --> 00:34:51,706
OK.
469
00:34:52,451 --> 00:34:54,706
Hey, that's a zipper.
470
00:34:54,787 --> 00:34:57,172
That's happening now.
471
00:34:57,248 --> 00:35:00,213
- Hey, back off. He's mine.
- You can share.
472
00:35:00,293 --> 00:35:03,057
What? What? No. Lord.
Maybe we've had enough.
473
00:35:03,129 --> 00:35:06,972
- That's my leg. That's happening.
- You fucking bitch.
474
00:35:18,019 --> 00:35:21,068
Holy shit. Come on, guys.
475
00:35:22,565 --> 00:35:24,902
Get the hell off him.
476
00:35:34,702 --> 00:35:36,173
Stripper fight.
477
00:35:58,476 --> 00:36:02,403
What is Todd's deal? Is he trying
to get me laid or get me killed?
478
00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:05,114
Hey, man, there are worse ways to die.
479
00:36:05,191 --> 00:36:10,577
Dudes, that chick in the corner is throwing
me signals like she's Johnny fucking Bench.
480
00:36:13,658 --> 00:36:17,169
She's paying more attention
to the floating lint than you.
481
00:36:17,245 --> 00:36:19,962
All right, let's get
down to brass tacks, OK?
482
00:36:20,039 --> 00:36:23,966
- Are you ready for marriage, Ron?
- I think so.
483
00:36:24,043 --> 00:36:28,848
So you're ready to say goodbye to blow jobs?
Cos that's the first thing that goes.
484
00:36:28,923 --> 00:36:34,012
Married women don't give blowjobs.
It's a union thing, man.
485
00:36:34,095 --> 00:36:38,485
And then your sports that you love,
that's the next thing you can kiss goodbye.
486
00:36:38,557 --> 00:36:40,894
- Mel likes sports.
- No, no, no.
487
00:36:40,977 --> 00:36:46,825
They pretend they like sports, the same way
we pretend we like talking to them.
488
00:36:46,899 --> 00:36:51,289
The only sport you're gonna get when
you're married is Little League tee ball.
489
00:36:51,362 --> 00:36:57,377
And I've seen that stuff, and, trust me,
Ron, most of those kids really fucking suck.
490
00:36:57,451 --> 00:36:59,042
OK?
491
00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:05,550
By the time they take away the last thing
that gives you any pleasure at all - booze -
492
00:37:05,626 --> 00:37:08,260
you've forgotten what happiness is.
493
00:37:08,337 --> 00:37:14,139
So now you're just walking around,
an empty shell of the man you once were.
494
00:37:14,218 --> 00:37:16,472
And that's when they leave you, Ron,
495
00:37:16,554 --> 00:37:20,777
claiming that, "You're
not the man I married."
496
00:37:20,850 --> 00:37:23,815
Well, no shit, hey?
497
00:37:23,894 --> 00:37:30,656
Thanks for playing, and here's a parting gift
- Child support and alimony right up the ass.
498
00:37:37,617 --> 00:37:39,953
That's marriage, Ron.
499
00:37:40,036 --> 00:37:42,586
You ready for that?
500
00:37:45,458 --> 00:37:47,593
I'm gonna go pee.
501
00:37:52,882 --> 00:37:55,136
I need some pills.
502
00:37:56,469 --> 00:37:59,352
- For God's sake. Let me help you.
- Thanks.
503
00:37:59,430 --> 00:38:02,858
Just don't get any ideas.
I'm not gonna wipe your ass later.
504
00:38:02,934 --> 00:38:05,698
My old friend codeine.
Two for me, one for you?
505
00:38:05,770 --> 00:38:10,278
- No, no. I need that stuff, man. Come on.
- Wait a minute. Can you drink with those?
506
00:38:10,358 --> 00:38:14,699
- It's way better when you drink.
- One beer is not gonna be a problem.
507
00:38:14,779 --> 00:38:17,911
Come on, man. Marriage is outdated, Ron.
508
00:38:17,990 --> 00:38:22,712
We don't need 'em. We never should've
given women the right to vote.
509
00:38:22,787 --> 00:38:26,133
OK. That's it. Let's
take it easy, shall we?
510
00:38:26,207 --> 00:38:31,012
It's been kind of a long night,
what with the gang rape and all.
511
00:38:31,087 --> 00:38:34,848
God. I'm gonna walk Sleeping Beauty
back up to his room. Come on.
512
00:38:34,924 --> 00:38:38,305
- OK. I've gotta go to the garden party.
- OK. Careful.
513
00:38:38,386 --> 00:38:43,226
- Show me a poodle, I'll fist it.
- OK, that's good for you.
514
00:38:43,307 --> 00:38:45,893
You guys... you guys coming or what?
515
00:38:46,894 --> 00:38:52,114
No, I think I'm gonna stay here, man.
That chick over there is begging me for it.
516
00:38:54,819 --> 00:38:56,954
I'm not gonna miss this.
517
00:38:57,029 --> 00:39:00,043
Why would you?
518
00:39:00,116 --> 00:39:02,002
Seth?
519
00:39:09,625 --> 00:39:11,547
- Hi.
- Hi.
520
00:39:11,627 --> 00:39:14,510
He's... he's had kind of a long day.
521
00:39:14,589 --> 00:39:18,646
- It's definitely past someone's bedtime.
- Yeah, sorry about that.
522
00:39:18,718 --> 00:39:21,850
Come on, pal. Come on. Here we go.
523
00:39:21,929 --> 00:39:24,017
Jeez.
524
00:39:27,101 --> 00:39:32,321
So, do you want to take a picture, or should
I give you paper so you can sketch 'em?
525
00:39:32,398 --> 00:39:34,902
- Take a picture.
- No. I'm sorry.
526
00:39:34,984 --> 00:39:39,041
I'm from Cleveland and I was noticing
your shirt. Are you a Browns fan?
527
00:39:39,113 --> 00:39:45,128
My father's from Cleveland. I'm a Cavs fan
too, but they're breaking my heart right now.
528
00:39:45,202 --> 00:39:48,168
LeBron. Shoot less commercials
and more free throws.
529
00:39:48,247 --> 00:39:52,507
- Come on, LeBron.
- So you're a big Cleveland fan, huh?
530
00:39:52,585 --> 00:39:55,847
- Such is my curse.
- Well...
531
00:39:56,881 --> 00:39:59,301
He's drooling on me now,
532
00:39:59,383 --> 00:40:03,643
so I should probably go,
but it was nice meeting you.
533
00:40:03,721 --> 00:40:07,434
- You too.
- All right. Come on, little prince.
534
00:40:07,516 --> 00:40:10,020
Bye, LeBron.
535
00:40:13,356 --> 00:40:16,286
Hey, babe. Just calling to say hi.
536
00:40:16,359 --> 00:40:18,945
I miss you.
537
00:40:19,028 --> 00:40:22,540
Give me a call whenever
and I'll talk to you then.
538
00:40:22,615 --> 00:40:24,916
Love you. Bye.
539
00:40:37,588 --> 00:40:40,139
Balls to the wall, Ron.
540
00:40:40,216 --> 00:40:44,771
Yeah. You know,
I think I'm more of a couch sleeper.
541
00:40:44,845 --> 00:40:47,266
Auf Wiedersehen, ladies.
542
00:41:01,404 --> 00:41:04,203
What is wrong with this guy?
543
00:41:04,282 --> 00:41:07,247
Who walks away from that?
544
00:41:27,179 --> 00:41:30,526
- Wakey, wakey, D.
- Nacho Bellgrande.
545
00:41:34,520 --> 00:41:36,821
Morning, ladies.
546
00:42:04,634 --> 00:42:07,137
There's my book.
547
00:42:08,304 --> 00:42:11,317
- Danke, Seth.
- Banana.
548
00:42:11,390 --> 00:42:14,108
It was... it was...
549
00:42:17,438 --> 00:42:19,075
God.
550
00:42:19,148 --> 00:42:23,953
She wasn't just reading Hitler's manifesto,
OK, she was highlighting it.
551
00:42:24,028 --> 00:42:28,085
- Those girls are Nazis.
- Well, maybe, but they're hot Nazis.
552
00:42:28,157 --> 00:42:30,957
Hotzis.
553
00:42:38,334 --> 00:42:41,051
What the fuck?
554
00:42:45,299 --> 00:42:47,885
- What the hell is this?
- What?
555
00:42:47,969 --> 00:42:50,472
This. What is this?
556
00:42:50,554 --> 00:42:52,891
- That's your wedding ring.
- My what?
557
00:42:52,974 --> 00:42:55,773
You got married last night.
You don't remember?
558
00:42:55,851 --> 00:42:57,489
What?
559
00:42:57,561 --> 00:43:02,734
After you left, he went over and talked to that
little chippy at the bar and they hit it off.
560
00:43:02,817 --> 00:43:07,242
We went out, did some dancing. Before you
know it, we were down in a chapel in Boca.
561
00:43:07,321 --> 00:43:09,409
I was your best man. What up?
562
00:43:09,490 --> 00:43:13,121
You were my best man?
You let me marry her? What the fuck?
563
00:43:13,202 --> 00:43:15,290
I was honoured to be asked, buddy.
564
00:43:15,371 --> 00:43:17,210
You...
565
00:43:18,249 --> 00:43:23,967
Oh. OK, guys. I've been punk'd.
Very funny. You're fucking with me, right?
566
00:43:24,046 --> 00:43:30,559
Actually I'm not. I've been waiting all morning
to show you your marriage certificate.
567
00:43:30,636 --> 00:43:34,599
Yeah. Could have gotten this done
at a Kinko's. Two minutes. Very funny.
568
00:43:34,682 --> 00:43:37,363
Then there's always the video.
569
00:43:37,977 --> 00:43:40,990
I'm getting married.
570
00:43:41,063 --> 00:43:45,489
I'm in love with Sonia Hernandez.
571
00:43:45,985 --> 00:43:49,082
- Who's Sonia Hernandez?
- Your new stepmom, twit.
572
00:43:49,155 --> 00:43:52,868
Seriously? Again? Dad,
tell me this is a joke.
573
00:43:52,950 --> 00:43:56,414
Look, I don't remember what happened.
574
00:43:56,495 --> 00:44:00,968
- What is the matter with you?
- OK, you hold on cos I'm still your father.
575
00:44:01,042 --> 00:44:06,676
Are you sure? Cos sometimes I don't know
who's the adult and who's the child.
576
00:44:08,174 --> 00:44:11,021
Thanks a lot, ass.
577
00:44:28,736 --> 00:44:32,330
Surprise bachelorette party.
578
00:44:35,284 --> 00:44:37,087
Hi.
579
00:44:46,087 --> 00:44:49,764
- You know what I love about golf, Ron?
- What's that, Todd?
580
00:44:49,840 --> 00:44:52,558
It just has so much in common with women.
581
00:44:52,635 --> 00:44:55,518
The finest, most gorgeous courses
in the world
582
00:44:55,596 --> 00:44:58,728
are also the most expensive
and the most difficult.
583
00:44:58,808 --> 00:45:02,320
We like to kick around
with a shitty par three now and again,
584
00:45:02,395 --> 00:45:04,614
as long as our buddies don't see, right?
585
00:45:04,689 --> 00:45:07,109
The beauty of golf is variety.
586
00:45:07,191 --> 00:45:09,825
You don't want to play
the same hole every day,
587
00:45:09,902 --> 00:45:12,999
even if you are playing the backside.
588
00:45:13,072 --> 00:45:18,589
That's... that's beautiful, Todd, but I think
I'm just more of a one-hole kind of guy.
589
00:45:18,661 --> 00:45:21,758
I'm a three-hole man myself.
590
00:45:21,831 --> 00:45:26,090
Right. All right, boys, what do you say
we make it interesting? 500 a man.
591
00:45:26,168 --> 00:45:29,514
- How about we keep it to 100, huh?
- And we play Kennedy rules.
592
00:45:29,589 --> 00:45:32,009
- What are Kennedy rules?
- Ted Kennedy.
593
00:45:32,091 --> 00:45:36,812
All right? Yeah. You lose a hole, you drink.
You hit it in the sand, you drink.
594
00:45:36,887 --> 00:45:40,399
- Seth whiffs the ball, we all drink.
- I don't even wanna play.
595
00:45:40,474 --> 00:45:44,697
You're gonna, OK? We played at the Putt-Putt.
The rules will transfer fine.
596
00:45:44,770 --> 00:45:48,650
Fair enough.
We're also gonna play Todd rules.
597
00:45:48,733 --> 00:45:51,580
- What are Todd rules?
- Strip golf.
598
00:45:51,652 --> 00:45:56,493
- Lose a hole, you lose some clothes.
- I told you he was a 'mo. Come on, pay up.
599
00:45:56,574 --> 00:46:01,379
- Not us, the caddies.
- And that's less gay how?
600
00:46:02,204 --> 00:46:04,459
Those are our caddies.
601
00:46:18,471 --> 00:46:19,977
Hey, guys.
602
00:46:20,056 --> 00:46:23,270
Hey, Ashley couldn't make it,
but her sister is coming.
603
00:46:23,351 --> 00:46:25,570
Here she comes now.
604
00:46:26,979 --> 00:46:29,779
Sorry I'm late. My bunions are killing me.
605
00:46:29,857 --> 00:46:32,158
I call this one.
606
00:46:37,281 --> 00:46:40,994
This day
just keeps getting better and better.
607
00:47:58,112 --> 00:48:00,200
I can't. No.
608
00:48:16,756 --> 00:48:19,140
- God.
- Up yours, buddy.
609
00:48:20,635 --> 00:48:22,971
- Drained it.
- Yes.
610
00:48:32,396 --> 00:48:35,196
Fore.
611
00:48:45,243 --> 00:48:48,505
Miss it. Miss it. Miss it. Miss it.
612
00:48:50,081 --> 00:48:51,504
Noonan.
613
00:48:51,707 --> 00:48:53,594
Noonan.
614
00:48:55,127 --> 00:48:57,927
Yeah. That's my boy.
615
00:49:16,732 --> 00:49:21,407
Let me get this right, Ron. Your smoking-hot
caddy asked you to play a 19th hole,
616
00:49:21,487 --> 00:49:25,367
and you said no? Dude,
I'm gonna have to check your balls for gay.
617
00:49:25,449 --> 00:49:28,629
- Are you remotely familiar with monogamy?
- No.
618
00:49:28,703 --> 00:49:32,713
All right, boys, listen up.
Tonight I've got something special planned.
619
00:49:32,790 --> 00:49:37,844
We're going to the party down at the beach,
then coming back here and drinking all night.
620
00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:42,476
All right? Get some rest.
We're going balls to the wall.
621
00:49:42,550 --> 00:49:45,515
- Is Seth OK?
- He's fine.
622
00:49:45,595 --> 00:49:49,391
I, on the other hand,
got way too much exercise.
623
00:49:49,890 --> 00:49:52,738
Wunderbar.
624
00:49:53,853 --> 00:49:56,985
- You want?
- Nein.
625
00:49:57,064 --> 00:49:59,449
Scaredy-cat.
626
00:50:00,484 --> 00:50:04,577
Can you guys believe this? There's,
like, 12 pages of Hernandezes in here.
627
00:50:04,655 --> 00:50:07,752
- In Miami? Shocking.
- Here's what we'll do, OK?
628
00:50:07,825 --> 00:50:11,918
If each of us phones 75, right,
that should work...
629
00:50:11,996 --> 00:50:14,546
Wait a minute. Where's Tommy?
630
00:50:14,624 --> 00:50:16,629
Sonny? Hello?
631
00:50:16,709 --> 00:50:18,002
Sonny?
632
00:50:18,085 --> 00:50:21,348
Hey, you.
633
00:50:21,422 --> 00:50:24,008
- This is Shauna.
- Hey.
634
00:50:24,091 --> 00:50:27,769
You think you can take care of her
the way you took care of me?
635
00:50:27,845 --> 00:50:31,855
Does the pope shit in the woods?
One second.
636
00:50:38,481 --> 00:50:41,779
OK, did you girls
lose a bet or something? Huh?
637
00:50:41,859 --> 00:50:44,540
Daddy's little helper.
638
00:50:44,987 --> 00:50:46,708
Look out, ladies.
639
00:50:46,781 --> 00:50:50,245
Your friend, he's just amazing.
640
00:50:51,327 --> 00:50:53,877
Mr Amazing's back.
641
00:50:53,955 --> 00:50:56,838
All right, I'll catch you guys later.
642
00:50:56,916 --> 00:51:00,214
Hey, man, give me the phone book.
I'll help you out.
643
00:51:13,391 --> 00:51:18,065
Autumn, can we do this tonight
at, like, a club or something?
644
00:51:18,145 --> 00:51:21,693
These guys, they're not here to play
bachelorette games.
645
00:51:21,774 --> 00:51:26,365
- They're here to feed their drinking problems.
- But I have everything all set up.
646
00:51:26,445 --> 00:51:30,242
If you change things, we won't get
home in time for your surprise.
647
00:51:30,324 --> 00:51:32,661
OK. OK.
648
00:51:32,743 --> 00:51:34,131
OK.
649
00:51:41,294 --> 00:51:43,974
Excuse me. Hi, hi.
650
00:51:44,046 --> 00:51:48,518
It's my bachelorette party and I was
wondering if you wanted to pay a dollar to,
651
00:51:48,593 --> 00:51:51,689
well, suck a piece of candy off my shirt.
652
00:51:53,180 --> 00:51:56,277
Here's ten to leave me the fuck alone.
653
00:52:01,606 --> 00:52:03,907
Nice throw, son.
654
00:52:04,817 --> 00:52:11,200
Hey, Tommy, it's me again. Look, I...
I want to apologise for this morning.
655
00:52:11,282 --> 00:52:15,244
It's not your fault that
your dad's a fuck-up.
656
00:52:15,328 --> 00:52:17,629
Just call me when you can.
657
00:52:17,705 --> 00:52:20,125
I'm worried about you and...
658
00:52:20,207 --> 00:52:22,094
I...
659
00:52:22,168 --> 00:52:25,680
I love you, OK? OK.
660
00:52:25,755 --> 00:52:27,641
Bye.
661
00:52:35,306 --> 00:52:37,192
Hey, 9"!!-
662
00:52:37,266 --> 00:52:39,852
A little help here?
663
00:52:44,649 --> 00:52:48,908
- What the hell's wrong with you?
- I just wasted a beer.
664
00:52:55,743 --> 00:52:59,456
Hi, can I have a Jameson's
on the rocks, please?
665
00:53:02,291 --> 00:53:04,628
Tough day?
666
00:53:05,670 --> 00:53:09,431
Browns girl. What, do you live in this bar?
667
00:53:09,507 --> 00:53:13,019
Practically. Tony makes
the best mojitos in South Beach.
668
00:53:13,094 --> 00:53:16,937
- And it's Eva, by the way.
- Eva, hi. I'm Ron.
669
00:53:17,723 --> 00:53:20,986
So, Ron, what's going on?
670
00:53:21,060 --> 00:53:23,990
I'm here for my bachelor party.
671
00:53:24,730 --> 00:53:29,369
Your bachelor party?
Well, that bums me out.
672
00:53:29,443 --> 00:53:32,457
I thought you were cute.
673
00:53:35,408 --> 00:53:38,540
Thank you. I'm flattered.
674
00:53:39,579 --> 00:53:44,929
Easy, cowboy. I'm just busting your balls.
Hello. I'm engaged, too.
675
00:53:45,001 --> 00:53:48,180
God, is everyone from Cleveland
this gullible?
676
00:53:48,254 --> 00:53:51,267
They have done studies, yeah. Yeah.
677
00:53:51,340 --> 00:53:54,140
So when is your big day?
678
00:53:54,218 --> 00:53:59,189
Well, we just started dating a year ago,
so, between you, me and Tony,
679
00:53:59,265 --> 00:54:01,352
I'm not exactly in a rush.
680
00:54:01,434 --> 00:54:06,239
I don't want to make a lifelong mistake,
you know what I mean?
681
00:54:07,273 --> 00:54:10,121
Tony, can I have another, please?
682
00:54:25,875 --> 00:54:28,295
- Don't kill me.
- Seth.
683
00:54:28,377 --> 00:54:31,592
I'm fine. I'm fine.
684
00:54:31,672 --> 00:54:34,520
Whoa, not fine.
685
00:54:34,592 --> 00:54:37,557
I need my...
686
00:54:37,637 --> 00:54:40,899
- Where's my medication?
- I think the fat boy took them.
687
00:54:40,973 --> 00:54:44,070
That's just great.
688
00:54:44,560 --> 00:54:47,443
Maybe this will help.
689
00:54:47,521 --> 00:54:49,277
Thanks.
690
00:54:51,609 --> 00:54:57,991
So, you have a... you have a really nice voice.
What was that song you were singing?
691
00:54:58,074 --> 00:55:03,673
That's a song I used to sing when I was a
little girl with my great-grandfather Adolf.
692
00:55:07,333 --> 00:55:10,382
I'm fine. You said your grandpa...
grandpa who?
693
00:55:10,461 --> 00:55:13,178
My great-grandfather Adolf.
694
00:55:13,256 --> 00:55:17,432
- He's so sweet. He lives in South America.
- I bet.
695
00:55:17,510 --> 00:55:21,935
He calls me every week and he wants me to go
to alt school just like he did in Vienna.
696
00:55:22,014 --> 00:55:24,434
Alt school. That's fun.
697
00:55:24,517 --> 00:55:28,479
- Yes, but I'm not interested in alt.
- No.
698
00:55:28,562 --> 00:55:31,611
I like politics.
699
00:55:33,067 --> 00:55:35,867
Can you get me maybe the whole bottle?
700
00:55:40,324 --> 00:55:45,877
Two months? I see your friends' point. What
if she turns out to be a serial killer?
701
00:55:45,955 --> 00:55:49,798
- I once dated a guy, he turned out to be gay.
- Maybe you made him gay.
702
00:55:49,875 --> 00:55:55,095
I definitely did. I used to outdistance him
on the driving range by 50 yards. Pansy.
703
00:55:55,172 --> 00:56:00,428
You golf too, huh? All right. Well, see, now,
I totally would have gone gay for you also.
704
00:56:00,511 --> 00:56:04,058
Well, not without the whole...
Well, you know what I'm saying.
705
00:56:04,140 --> 00:56:07,189
Well, sir, flattery will
get you another drink.
706
00:56:07,268 --> 00:56:13,899
Wait, no. No, I can't. I can't. I've got this
beach-blanket-bingo thing to go to here, so...
707
00:56:13,983 --> 00:56:16,202
Fine, leave me. I got Tony.
708
00:56:16,277 --> 00:56:19,290
Well, you've got the world then.
709
00:56:22,158 --> 00:56:24,744
Hey, why don't you come with?
710
00:56:26,245 --> 00:56:29,294
- I don't think a girl should crash your party.
- Come on.
711
00:56:29,373 --> 00:56:34,379
It's free booze and drunk spring-break kids.
What more could you want from an evening?
712
00:56:34,462 --> 00:56:38,638
Plus, we can gab about centrepieces
and bridesmaids' dresses.
713
00:56:38,716 --> 00:56:41,599
You had me at free booze.
714
00:56:41,677 --> 00:56:44,975
- I'll see you there, Cleveland Ron.
- All right.
715
00:56:50,269 --> 00:56:52,570
Hey, Seth.
716
00:56:52,647 --> 00:56:55,232
What's going on, man?
717
00:56:57,526 --> 00:56:59,745
Hey, any luck finding Tommy?
718
00:56:59,820 --> 00:57:01,244
Whoa.
719
00:57:01,322 --> 00:57:03,409
All right.
720
00:57:03,491 --> 00:57:08,130
- You feeling OK, Seth?
- No, I'm far from OK. OK?
721
00:57:08,204 --> 00:57:13,590
I needed my medication, only Jason took it,
so Hitler's granddaughter gave me aspirin,
722
00:57:13,668 --> 00:57:17,262
only now everything still hurts
and I have this.
723
00:57:17,338 --> 00:57:21,051
- Is it supposed to curve like that, man?
- No.
724
00:57:21,133 --> 00:57:24,846
- Holy baby arm.
- This is all your fault.
725
00:57:24,929 --> 00:57:27,230
OK, how is that my fault?
726
00:57:27,306 --> 00:57:31,648
Because you took my codeine,
so I took a bunch of your Viagra.
727
00:57:31,727 --> 00:57:35,571
OK, that's not Viagra, Captain Hook.
That's Equine XL.
728
00:57:35,648 --> 00:57:37,783
Wait a minute. What's Equine XL?
729
00:57:37,858 --> 00:57:40,991
- Boner pills for horses off of this vet website.
- Yeah?
730
00:57:41,070 --> 00:57:43,241
- It's awesome.
- I gotta get that site.
731
00:57:43,322 --> 00:57:47,035
They were in an aspirin bottle,
you degenerate asshole.
732
00:57:47,118 --> 00:57:49,882
Excuse me for exercising
a little discretion.
733
00:57:49,954 --> 00:57:54,794
Exercise and discretion? I can't think of
two words that have less in common with you
734
00:57:54,875 --> 00:57:57,426
than exercise and discretion.
735
00:57:59,297 --> 00:58:01,551
Ouch. That hurt, Seth.
736
00:58:01,632 --> 00:58:07,315
I'm gonna give you something to hurt about,
motherfucker. Come on.
737
00:58:09,640 --> 00:58:13,353
Seth. Seth. Seth. Calm down.
738
00:58:14,895 --> 00:58:19,570
- Wet noodle. Wet noodle.
- Sorry to interrupt whatever this is.
739
00:58:20,610 --> 00:58:27,040
The party starts in about ten minutes,
so, you know, if you just finish up.
740
00:58:31,579 --> 00:58:35,506
All right, Seth, I think you should...
you should go and...
741
00:58:35,583 --> 00:58:39,973
you know, take care of
your little situation.
742
00:58:40,046 --> 00:58:45,728
- Yeah? Yeah?
- OK, I've got it. We just call a little call girl.
743
00:58:45,801 --> 00:58:47,688
No, no, no.
744
00:58:47,762 --> 00:58:51,274
No, I am not letting some diseased hooker
touch me down there.
745
00:58:51,349 --> 00:58:54,695
OK, we'll get a clean hooker
to touch you down there.
746
00:58:54,769 --> 00:58:58,565
Forget it, fellas, all right?
Just forget it.
747
00:59:02,693 --> 00:59:06,241
So, are those Capri pants?
748
00:59:07,281 --> 00:59:10,627
They're not Capri pants.
Capri pants are for women.
749
00:59:10,701 --> 00:59:13,121
So they're man-pri pants.
750
00:59:13,204 --> 00:59:14,545
No.
751
00:59:14,622 --> 00:59:17,125
Look, they're cropped slacks, OK?
752
00:59:17,917 --> 00:59:20,847
They're huge in Europe. Huge.
753
00:59:20,920 --> 00:59:24,597
Yeah, George Michael's huge in Europe, too.
754
00:59:24,674 --> 00:59:27,260
You ever thought of maybe
an ankle bracelet?
755
00:59:27,343 --> 00:59:30,807
- Is he gonna be down soon?
- Yeah, he'll be down in a minute.
756
00:59:43,401 --> 00:59:45,488
Be gentle.
757
01:00:02,295 --> 01:00:04,264
Ave Maria.
758
01:00:16,517 --> 01:00:18,818
Here you go, ladies.
759
01:00:18,894 --> 01:00:21,315
Thank you, Flora.
760
01:00:21,397 --> 01:00:24,944
What are we doing here?
Not that I'm complaining, but, you know,
761
01:00:25,026 --> 01:00:29,118
the odds of being thrown up on
by an alcoholic have dropped significantly.
762
01:00:29,196 --> 01:00:34,500
- Speaking of... where's Mom?
- She's taking one of her naps.
763
01:00:38,581 --> 01:00:41,678
I wonder who that could be.
764
01:00:47,423 --> 01:00:50,686
- What's going on?
- I don't know.
765
01:00:53,387 --> 01:00:57,314
Oh, no. It appears
we have some sort of water leak.
766
01:00:58,643 --> 01:01:01,027
The plumber's here.
767
01:01:14,492 --> 01:01:20,755
Excuse me, ladies. I understand you're
having some problems with your plumbing.
768
01:01:47,441 --> 01:01:51,914
I may have to pull out my special tool
for this job.
769
01:01:52,613 --> 01:01:57,370
Don't you worry. I'm accustomed
to working with a lot of pipe.
770
01:02:00,246 --> 01:02:03,378
My God. Are those Jimmy Chaos'?
771
01:02:13,050 --> 01:02:16,183
Flora.
772
01:02:16,262 --> 01:02:18,812
Go, plumber, go, plumber, go, go.
773
01:02:18,889 --> 01:02:22,271
Go, plumber, go, plumber,
go, plumber, go, go.
774
01:02:22,476 --> 01:02:25,905
Go, plumber, go, plumber,
go, plumber, go, go.
775
01:02:25,980 --> 01:02:30,571
Go, plumber, go, plumber,
go, plumber, go, plumber, go, plumber.
776
01:02:30,651 --> 01:02:32,538
Go, go, go plumber...
777
01:02:35,031 --> 01:02:41,081
What in fuck's name is going on?
And where did Tommy Tune here come from?
778
01:02:41,162 --> 01:02:44,674
Mother, it's Mel's bachelorette party.
This is the stripper.
779
01:02:44,749 --> 01:02:46,836
Hi. Love your house.
780
01:02:46,918 --> 01:02:49,219
Thanks, Sally.
781
01:02:50,755 --> 01:02:55,476
Jesus, Autumn. This guy likes cock
more than anyone else in this room.
782
01:02:55,551 --> 01:02:57,852
Excuse me, but we were in the middle...
783
01:02:57,929 --> 01:03:00,859
But nothing. No daughter of mine
784
01:03:00,932 --> 01:03:06,187
is going to have a one-man rendition of a
chorus line for her bachelorette party.
785
01:03:06,270 --> 01:03:10,577
Really? Well,
what do you wanna do that's so great?
786
01:03:11,776 --> 01:03:14,457
We'll go to my book club.
787
01:03:24,330 --> 01:03:27,877
I'll take that. Definitely don't need that.
788
01:03:35,091 --> 01:03:38,188
- Thanks.
- You got it? All right.
789
01:03:38,261 --> 01:03:42,104
Gentlemen, to a night we will never forget.
790
01:03:42,181 --> 01:03:44,767
- Cheers.
- Hear, hear.
791
01:03:45,935 --> 01:03:47,905
Here you go.
792
01:03:48,729 --> 01:03:51,233
See you later, guys.
793
01:03:52,358 --> 01:03:56,238
- Whoa. Whoa. Feeling a little woozy here.
- You all right?
794
01:03:56,320 --> 01:04:01,670
I think this erection's draining the blood
from my brain. I'm disgusting.
795
01:04:01,742 --> 01:04:05,373
OK. Fair-weather friends, Ron.
Those are fair-weather friends.
796
01:04:05,454 --> 01:04:10,129
I am not gonna let a little pissing and
moaning ruin your party, all right, brother?
797
01:04:10,209 --> 01:04:12,926
- All right.
- Hang on a second.
798
01:04:13,004 --> 01:04:15,637
And off he goes.
799
01:04:15,715 --> 01:04:18,218
Well, thank you.
800
01:04:18,301 --> 01:04:21,978
Really? Does that come
with a side of Tampax?
801
01:04:22,054 --> 01:04:26,693
Not tonight. Tonight, we roll VIP.
802
01:04:33,357 --> 01:04:38,826
If you don't already have someone performing
your wedding, I'm also a licensed minister.
803
01:04:38,905 --> 01:04:42,203
That would be just lovely.
804
01:04:58,883 --> 01:05:01,980
This is your book club?
805
01:05:04,013 --> 01:05:06,777
Come on. Go home.
806
01:05:06,849 --> 01:05:09,483
Nobody likes you.
807
01:05:09,560 --> 01:05:12,277
For the love of God, take a rest.
808
01:05:23,282 --> 01:05:27,209
So, you guys offer a limo service, right?
809
01:05:27,286 --> 01:05:29,457
Presidential suite.
810
01:05:29,997 --> 01:05:32,252
Now, bachelorette,
811
01:05:32,333 --> 01:05:34,801
I'll bet you're hungry, my dear.
812
01:05:34,877 --> 01:05:37,807
Would you care for a scone?
813
01:05:39,257 --> 01:05:40,728
Hi.
814
01:05:42,218 --> 01:05:44,602
Grandma Rose?
815
01:05:47,181 --> 01:05:49,482
Well, hello, Melinda, dear.
816
01:05:49,558 --> 01:05:52,940
The Japanese have surrendered.
817
01:05:53,020 --> 01:05:55,903
The war is over.
818
01:05:55,982 --> 01:05:57,987
Great-grandma'?
819
01:05:58,067 --> 01:06:03,619
Would you look at us?
Four generations together at book club.
820
01:06:03,698 --> 01:06:05,917
I need a refill.
821
01:06:12,039 --> 01:06:15,836
Come on, baby. Daddy needs a rest.
822
01:06:17,086 --> 01:06:19,221
Hey, fellas, look.
823
01:06:19,297 --> 01:06:20,850
A hot tub.
824
01:06:20,923 --> 01:06:24,138
No, it's closed for maintenance.
I'm cleaning it.
825
01:06:24,218 --> 01:06:27,849
Looks like a clothing-optional tub, too.
826
01:06:29,473 --> 01:06:32,321
I'm stuck.
827
01:06:33,853 --> 01:06:36,189
God.
828
01:06:54,665 --> 01:07:00,597
- Well, well. I thought you hadn't made it.
- Sorry, I was just freshening up.
829
01:07:00,671 --> 01:07:03,934
You freshen up nice.
830
01:07:04,675 --> 01:07:07,724
Half now, half after.
831
01:07:08,763 --> 01:07:11,860
But when you're done,
you come party with a real man, huh?
832
01:07:11,933 --> 01:07:14,780
Sounds great.
833
01:07:14,852 --> 01:07:16,940
Go get him.
834
01:07:20,232 --> 01:07:24,539
All right, get it ready.
It's time for the hot-body dance contest.
835
01:07:24,612 --> 01:07:28,622
They who shake their thing at the crowd
for the most applause wins $500.
836
01:07:28,699 --> 01:07:31,333
Are you with me?
837
01:07:31,410 --> 01:07:35,207
Yeah. First up, sexy Kristie.
838
01:07:43,005 --> 01:07:46,683
500 bucks just for shaking your tits?
839
01:07:46,759 --> 01:07:52,109
You should get in on that, man. You've got
lovely tits. What are they, a full B cup?
840
01:07:52,181 --> 01:07:56,737
Don't you have, like, a lost child
and future ex-wife to find?
841
01:07:56,811 --> 01:08:00,488
You know what? That cut.
That cut real deep.
842
01:08:01,524 --> 01:08:04,822
Is it gay that we're in
this hammock together?
843
01:08:10,700 --> 01:08:15,089
- Looks like her years of tap lessons paid off.
- Hey.
844
01:08:17,623 --> 01:08:21,171
This is new. You look amazing.
845
01:08:21,252 --> 01:08:23,339
Are you on next or something?
846
01:08:23,421 --> 01:08:25,971
I got disqualified. Roids.
847
01:08:26,048 --> 01:08:29,477
Yeah, see, I suspected
you might be a juicer.
848
01:08:29,552 --> 01:08:32,055
- Mojito?
- You speak my language.
849
01:08:32,138 --> 01:08:34,225
Shall we?
850
01:08:35,308 --> 01:08:37,692
Ladies, may I interest you in a cocktail?
851
01:08:37,768 --> 01:08:39,690
Yes.
852
01:08:39,770 --> 01:08:42,867
I slept with a coloured man once.
853
01:08:44,275 --> 01:08:46,410
He was the milkman.
854
01:08:46,485 --> 01:08:48,573
He was so big,
855
01:08:48,654 --> 01:08:51,158
and black as night.
856
01:08:51,240 --> 01:08:56,128
- OK, Mother. OK.
- He sure delivered the milk that day.
857
01:08:56,203 --> 01:08:58,006
OK.
858
01:08:58,080 --> 01:09:01,426
If you will all excuse me, I'm gonna go...
859
01:09:01,500 --> 01:09:04,633
I'm gonna go check in with Ron.
860
01:09:14,764 --> 01:09:18,026
Todd, it looks like Ron forgot his phone.
861
01:09:18,100 --> 01:09:20,402
Score.
862
01:09:20,478 --> 01:09:22,981
All right, ladies, get lost. Go.
863
01:09:23,064 --> 01:09:25,235
OK, see ya.
864
01:09:26,859 --> 01:09:28,117
Ron's phone.
865
01:09:28,194 --> 01:09:30,911
Hey. Todd?
866
01:09:30,988 --> 01:09:33,076
Hi, Mel.
867
01:09:33,157 --> 01:09:37,997
You know what? I would get Ron,
but he's a little indisposed at the moment.
868
01:09:38,079 --> 01:09:41,460
Is he throwing up? He's
kind of a lightweight.
869
01:09:41,540 --> 01:09:46,013
Not exactly. Mel, are you sure that you
want to invite this guy into our family?
870
01:09:46,087 --> 01:09:48,174
What?
871
01:09:48,256 --> 01:09:51,055
Ron has been sleeping with
everything in a skirt.
872
01:09:51,133 --> 01:09:53,981
Do you have some kind of arrangement
or something?
873
01:09:54,053 --> 01:09:55,227
Hello?
874
01:09:57,139 --> 01:09:59,560
Mel?
875
01:09:59,642 --> 01:10:01,943
Next stop, corner office.
876
01:10:02,019 --> 01:10:05,365
- Shots.
- Shots.
877
01:10:06,482 --> 01:10:09,068
It doesn't seem like Ron at all.
878
01:10:10,111 --> 01:10:12,745
It's better you found out now.
879
01:10:13,781 --> 01:10:18,087
Next time he falls asleep, cut one
of his balls off. That'll teach him.
880
01:10:18,160 --> 01:10:21,008
Not now, Mother.
881
01:10:21,080 --> 01:10:23,215
I have to see him.
882
01:10:23,291 --> 01:10:25,794
- Tonight.
- You want to go to Miami?
883
01:10:25,876 --> 01:10:30,099
I'll call your father. We can take the jet.
884
01:10:41,642 --> 01:10:45,439
All right, guys.
Give it up one more time for Candy.
885
01:10:48,733 --> 01:10:53,407
All right. Last, but certainly not least,
we have the beautiful...
886
01:10:53,487 --> 01:10:54,994
Jason?
887
01:10:58,993 --> 01:11:01,710
My God.
888
01:11:01,787 --> 01:11:03,590
God.
889
01:11:11,172 --> 01:11:13,343
Get off the stage, loser.
890
01:12:04,141 --> 01:12:10,524
All right, guys, this is crazy. For the
first time in club history, we have a tie,
891
01:12:10,606 --> 01:12:13,536
between Candy...
892
01:12:13,609 --> 01:12:16,373
and Jason.
893
01:12:19,198 --> 01:12:24,585
Now, around here, that can only mean
one thing. I'm talking about a dance-off.
894
01:12:27,873 --> 01:12:31,172
- You're going down, fatty.
- Bring it on, sugar tits.
895
01:12:31,252 --> 01:12:33,720
First up, Candy.
896
01:13:38,527 --> 01:13:41,956
Don't get mad, girl. You can't get mad.
897
01:14:12,311 --> 01:14:14,862
That is not nice.
898
01:14:18,067 --> 01:14:21,745
Man, you can't beat that.
You can't beat that.
899
01:14:27,285 --> 01:14:30,583
Jason. Jason.
900
01:14:30,788 --> 01:14:33,588
Jason. Jason.
901
01:14:33,666 --> 01:14:37,130
Jason. Jason. Jason.
902
01:14:37,211 --> 01:14:41,387
Jason. Jason. Jason.
903
01:15:04,655 --> 01:15:08,535
We have our winner. Big Jason.
904
01:15:15,499 --> 01:15:19,177
I do not know where they are.
905
01:15:19,253 --> 01:15:24,556
Maybe they took a few groupies
back to the hotel or something.
906
01:15:28,262 --> 01:15:30,848
Is it me or is it freezing?
907
01:15:31,974 --> 01:15:34,940
We can go. You want to go?
908
01:15:35,019 --> 01:15:38,032
- Yeah, let's go.
- All right.
909
01:15:48,491 --> 01:15:51,456
Hey. Hey. Ron just left with Eva.
910
01:15:51,535 --> 01:15:55,925
Perfect. Just to be sure, get every
hot piece of ass here back to the suite.
911
01:15:55,998 --> 01:15:58,716
Hey, what should I tell them?
912
01:15:58,793 --> 01:16:02,470
I don't give a shit. Get it done
or you'll be walking to Cleveland.
913
01:16:02,546 --> 01:16:05,015
OK.
914
01:16:05,091 --> 01:16:09,148
Yeah, thanks.
Man, I've always wanted one of these.
915
01:16:09,220 --> 01:16:12,185
Guys. Guys.
916
01:16:12,265 --> 01:16:15,064
Come here. Thank God. Thank God.
917
01:16:15,142 --> 01:16:19,615
You have no idea what I've been through.
Help me get out of this chlamydia stew.
918
01:16:19,689 --> 01:16:21,776
Come on, man.
919
01:16:21,857 --> 01:16:26,864
I swear to God, if I see any more man junk on
this trip, I'm gonna gouge my own eyes out.
920
01:16:26,946 --> 01:16:30,540
- Who's the degenerate now? OK?
- Get a girlfriend.
921
01:16:30,616 --> 01:16:32,752
- Are you serious?
- Get a watermelon.
922
01:16:32,827 --> 01:16:36,041
Are you serious? Hey, come on.
923
01:16:36,122 --> 01:16:39,336
I think I lost a ball.
924
01:16:39,417 --> 01:16:42,051
Hey, fellas, look, a hot tub.
925
01:16:45,923 --> 01:16:50,016
I'm worried about you and I love you, OK?
926
01:16:50,094 --> 01:16:52,680
OK. Bye.
927
01:16:52,763 --> 01:16:55,444
- That was weird.
- What?
928
01:16:55,516 --> 01:16:59,657
My dad. We had a fight today
and he actually apologised,
929
01:16:59,729 --> 01:17:01,948
which is a first.
930
01:17:02,398 --> 01:17:06,360
Hey, driver,
are there any karaoke bars around here?
931
01:17:13,618 --> 01:17:19,550
Get down here. This guy just invited us
to Justin Timberlake's hotel room.
932
01:17:19,999 --> 01:17:24,970
Congratulations to Jeff
for earning his one-year chip.
933
01:17:33,262 --> 01:17:38,352
And next up we have Betty,
who has earned her six-month chip.
934
01:17:38,434 --> 01:17:40,688
Come on up here, Betty.
935
01:17:45,316 --> 01:17:48,329
Excuse me, is this the Timberlake orgy?
936
01:17:49,028 --> 01:17:52,622
- No, afraid not.
- Sorry.
937
01:17:56,953 --> 01:17:59,717
Betty, where are you? Betty? Betty, wait.
938
01:17:59,789 --> 01:18:04,843
No, don't go.
You must avoid your lust triggers.
939
01:18:16,931 --> 01:18:19,185
Justin.
940
01:18:33,281 --> 01:18:38,169
- You look tense.
- Yeah, yeah. It's been a tense weekend.
941
01:18:38,244 --> 01:18:42,301
Let me ask you something.
Is a bachelor party the last chance
942
01:18:42,373 --> 01:18:46,596
for someone to convince the bachelor
that they're making a huge mistake?
943
01:18:46,669 --> 01:18:49,932
- I don't know, are you?
- Am I what? Making a mistake?
944
01:18:50,006 --> 01:18:54,431
- Yeah.
- I don't know. I don't think so.
945
01:18:54,510 --> 01:18:59,516
You don't think so. Well, if that's
not true love, I don't know what is.
946
01:18:59,599 --> 01:19:04,569
OK, well, in your infinite wisdom,
maybe you can tell me,
947
01:19:04,645 --> 01:19:08,109
how do you know that
your fiance is the one?
948
01:19:08,190 --> 01:19:11,074
I never said he was.
949
01:19:12,028 --> 01:19:14,282
Well, why did you say yes?
950
01:19:14,363 --> 01:19:16,949
Cos he asked, I guess.
951
01:19:17,033 --> 01:19:20,497
Look, I'm not the one
with the wedding date.
952
01:19:20,578 --> 01:19:24,255
Life is short and I wanna be sure.
953
01:19:40,264 --> 01:19:42,519
I love Miami.
954
01:19:42,600 --> 01:19:45,483
- Sonny, hey-
- Hey, Betty.
955
01:19:45,561 --> 01:19:49,025
So, I brought a few friends
that are in need of your expertise.
956
01:19:49,106 --> 01:19:50,993
Well, OK.
957
01:19:51,067 --> 01:19:53,202
All right. Come on, girls.
958
01:19:56,530 --> 01:20:00,872
I don't know, Betty.
I mean, my penis is really tired.
959
01:20:01,410 --> 01:20:04,507
Your cock can sleep when it's dead, OK?
960
01:20:04,580 --> 01:20:06,668
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
961
01:20:07,166 --> 01:20:11,093
OK, yeah, let's do this.
OK. First bedroom on the right.
962
01:20:12,797 --> 01:20:15,265
Boy. Yeah, I can't wait.
963
01:20:15,341 --> 01:20:17,975
You're tall. You're getting it.
964
01:20:18,052 --> 01:20:22,145
Here you go. I'm outta here.
Witness the shitness.
965
01:20:22,223 --> 01:20:25,770
Hi. Go get some hair plugs.
966
01:20:33,234 --> 01:20:35,737
Come on, where's Ron?
967
01:20:36,404 --> 01:20:39,618
God.
968
01:20:39,699 --> 01:20:43,127
I know they're sex addicts, but come on.
969
01:20:45,580 --> 01:20:49,043
You guys seen a kid, huh?
Anybody? You seen a kid?
970
01:20:49,125 --> 01:20:51,379
Have you seen a kid?
971
01:20:53,212 --> 01:20:55,134
- Hey, Seth.
- Hey.
972
01:20:55,214 --> 01:20:59,176
- How did you get out of the hot tub, man?
- I don't want to talk about it.
973
01:20:59,260 --> 01:21:05,275
Sebastian and Meat, this is Derek.
Derek, Sebastian, Meat.
974
01:21:05,349 --> 01:21:07,900
Have you seen Tommy anywhere?
975
01:21:07,977 --> 01:21:09,484
No, sorry.
976
01:21:09,562 --> 01:21:11,697
Meat?
977
01:21:11,772 --> 01:21:13,943
All right. Let me know, man.
978
01:21:14,984 --> 01:21:16,076
Tommy?
979
01:21:16,152 --> 01:21:20,873
Well, I'm gonna take the longest shower
in recorded history.
980
01:21:20,948 --> 01:21:23,285
Make yourselves at home.
981
01:21:41,469 --> 01:21:42,940
Tommy.
982
01:21:43,137 --> 01:21:45,225
Tommy.
983
01:21:45,306 --> 01:21:47,560
Where have you been?
984
01:21:47,642 --> 01:21:51,153
I've been so worried about you.
What are you wearing?
985
01:21:51,228 --> 01:21:55,950
- Who's your friend?
- Dad, this is Sonia Hernandez Murphy.
986
01:21:56,025 --> 01:21:58,279
Murphy. OK. OK, yeah.
987
01:21:58,361 --> 01:22:00,829
Same last name. Small world.
988
01:22:01,447 --> 01:22:04,579
Dad, this is the woman
you married last night.
989
01:22:06,077 --> 01:22:08,841
My God. I'm so sorry.
990
01:22:08,913 --> 01:22:11,962
I didn't recognise you.
You see, last night, I...
991
01:22:12,041 --> 01:22:15,754
You were hammered. It's so good to see you.
992
01:22:15,836 --> 01:22:18,684
OK, OK.
993
01:22:18,756 --> 01:22:20,595
Yeah.
994
01:22:20,675 --> 01:22:23,392
Tommy, can I see you for a sec?
995
01:22:23,469 --> 01:22:25,557
Excuse me, Sonia.
996
01:22:26,847 --> 01:22:30,691
- How did you find her?
- I checked out a couple of karaoke bars.
997
01:22:30,768 --> 01:22:33,022
What? Karaoke bars?
998
01:22:33,104 --> 01:22:38,870
Dad, you love karaoke, Mom loves karaoke,
so do your other ex-wives.
999
01:22:38,943 --> 01:22:41,577
So why would number four be any different?
1000
01:22:42,029 --> 01:22:46,336
Now, listen. She's an aerobics instructor,
loves Merlot, hates smoking,
1001
01:22:46,409 --> 01:22:49,126
and her family owns the Miami Dolphins.
1002
01:22:49,203 --> 01:22:54,458
- Holy shit, really?
- Yeah, she's loaded, so don't blow this.
1003
01:22:54,542 --> 01:22:57,128
Now go talk to your wife.
1004
01:22:59,589 --> 01:23:02,887
- Sonia.
- Derek.
1005
01:23:18,065 --> 01:23:20,569
It's so clean and organised.
1006
01:23:20,651 --> 01:23:23,617
It's so German.
1007
01:23:34,081 --> 01:23:37,463
My God.
1008
01:23:39,629 --> 01:23:42,428
- Seth.
- Hey.
1009
01:23:42,506 --> 01:23:46,813
Gerda, hi.
I was just gonna borrow some Purell.
1010
01:23:48,262 --> 01:23:52,059
No, no. It's not what it looks like.
I was...
1011
01:23:52,141 --> 01:23:54,312
- Seth.
- No.
1012
01:23:56,020 --> 01:23:58,321
- Yes. Yes.
- OK.
1013
01:23:58,648 --> 01:24:00,035
Well, I...
1014
01:24:00,107 --> 01:24:02,492
I've never been married,
1015
01:24:02,568 --> 01:24:07,492
so I don't have a lot of experience
with this subject matter,
1016
01:24:07,573 --> 01:24:11,630
but, with Mel,
1017
01:24:11,702 --> 01:24:14,420
things just feel right.
1018
01:24:17,625 --> 01:24:19,712
Well...
1019
01:24:21,087 --> 01:24:24,017
what about this?
1020
01:24:24,090 --> 01:24:26,770
Does this feel right?
1021
01:24:26,842 --> 01:24:28,563
I...
1022
01:24:28,636 --> 01:24:32,479
- Who needs a drink?
- Yes, let's have a toast.
1023
01:24:32,556 --> 01:24:34,811
To life being short.
1024
01:24:56,789 --> 01:24:59,921
Wait, wait. Wait, wait. We can't do this.
1025
01:25:00,501 --> 01:25:06,136
I know that what I'm doing is right, and
Mel is the one for me, I'm sure of that.
1026
01:25:07,550 --> 01:25:13,102
And I know that your fiance
is an incredibly lucky man
1027
01:25:13,180 --> 01:25:17,736
to be marrying an amazing woman like you.
1028
01:25:19,312 --> 01:25:21,696
- I'm sorry.
- Please, don't apologise.
1029
01:25:21,772 --> 01:25:26,032
Yes, I should, because I'm...
1030
01:25:26,110 --> 01:25:30,120
I'm not getting married
and I'm far from an amazing woman.
1031
01:25:30,865 --> 01:25:33,748
But you're a really good guy,
1032
01:25:33,826 --> 01:25:36,756
unlike your buddy Todd.
1033
01:25:40,082 --> 01:25:42,550
What?
1034
01:25:57,308 --> 01:25:59,395
Jesus.
1035
01:26:07,068 --> 01:26:10,033
- Seth, Seth. Yes.
- I'm going to hell.
1036
01:26:10,112 --> 01:26:12,580
I'm going to hell, but it's so good.
1037
01:26:12,657 --> 01:26:16,418
I'm sorry, Grandma. I'm so sorry.
1038
01:26:16,494 --> 01:26:18,380
God.
1039
01:26:26,504 --> 01:26:29,007
What are you doing here? Where's Ron?
1040
01:26:29,090 --> 01:26:31,177
Sleeping it off on the beach.
1041
01:26:31,259 --> 01:26:33,727
Mission accomplished.
1042
01:26:33,803 --> 01:26:36,353
Really? Well, I need proof.
1043
01:26:37,348 --> 01:26:40,231
I've got it. Pictures galore.
1044
01:26:41,269 --> 01:26:43,570
Excellent. Let's see.
1045
01:26:43,646 --> 01:26:46,327
We could do that now, or
1046
01:26:46,399 --> 01:26:49,412
you and I could celebrate.
1047
01:26:49,860 --> 01:26:52,197
Billy.
1048
01:26:52,280 --> 01:26:54,367
Leave now.
1049
01:26:59,745 --> 01:27:02,628
By the way,
1050
01:27:02,707 --> 01:27:05,969
I like to get wild.
1051
01:27:08,754 --> 01:27:10,925
You like to get wild,
1052
01:27:11,007 --> 01:27:14,305
don't you, Todd?
1053
01:27:16,596 --> 01:27:18,814
Hey, fellas.
1054
01:27:18,889 --> 01:27:20,977
Drink. Drink. Drink.
1055
01:27:21,058 --> 01:27:23,277
Drink. Drink. Drink. Drink.
1056
01:27:23,352 --> 01:27:27,113
Drink. Drink. Drink. Drink. Drink. Drink.
1057
01:27:44,582 --> 01:27:48,805
- Where's she going?
- Home. I told her I'd see her at the annulment.
1058
01:27:48,878 --> 01:27:52,509
- You're not staying with her? She's perfect.
- I know that, buddy.
1059
01:27:52,590 --> 01:27:58,688
But I told her I've got a couple of
very important things back in Cleveland.
1060
01:27:58,763 --> 01:28:01,099
That was stupid. She's rich.
1061
01:28:01,182 --> 01:28:03,602
You gotta relax, OK? We're still dating.
1062
01:28:03,684 --> 01:28:08,904
We're going to do the long-distance thing.
I'm not that stupid, right?
1063
01:28:08,981 --> 01:28:11,995
Hang on a second.
1064
01:28:12,068 --> 01:28:14,322
Excuse me, ladies?
1065
01:28:14,403 --> 01:28:17,168
Hi. I hate to ask this,
1066
01:28:17,240 --> 01:28:20,787
but what exactly is Jas...
1067
01:28:20,868 --> 01:28:23,632
Sonny's secret?
1068
01:28:23,704 --> 01:28:29,138
I don't know what to tell you, Rico. It's a
God-given talent. He's like Mother Teresa.
1069
01:28:29,210 --> 01:28:33,172
Wait a minute.
He's like Mother Teresa in the sack?
1070
01:28:33,256 --> 01:28:39,022
Yeah. I just wish he was staying longer. There
are so many more of us that need to be cured.
1071
01:28:39,095 --> 01:28:42,476
Cured? What? The only thing
that guy could cure is a ham.
1072
01:28:42,556 --> 01:28:47,313
I've been a sex addict all my life. I've
tried everything, even electroshock therapy.
1073
01:28:47,395 --> 01:28:50,408
Nothing worked, until I slept with Sonny.
1074
01:28:50,481 --> 01:28:52,782
It was so...
1075
01:28:54,485 --> 01:28:56,455
foul,
1076
01:28:56,529 --> 01:28:58,783
I don't think I'll ever have sex again.
1077
01:28:58,864 --> 01:29:01,545
He's an angel.
1078
01:29:01,617 --> 01:29:03,836
Hey, he is an angel.
1079
01:29:03,911 --> 01:29:06,248
- Well, thanks, ladies.
- Yeah, sure.
1080
01:29:10,001 --> 01:29:11,638
"He's an angel."
1081
01:29:16,465 --> 01:29:21,638
I am wiped out. Man, those chicks were
passing me around like the Stanley Cup.
1082
01:29:21,721 --> 01:29:25,861
- I bet they were, you pathetic...
- OK, Sonny Crockett. You're the man.
1083
01:29:25,933 --> 01:29:30,773
I do my best. Now I've gotta find
a little beverage, replenish the fluids.
1084
01:29:30,855 --> 01:29:32,942
Yeah.
1085
01:29:33,983 --> 01:29:39,831
- I was gonna rip him a new one.
- Let him have his little moment in the sun.
1086
01:29:39,906 --> 01:29:43,417
Besides, we're gonna be able to
hang this over him forever.
1087
01:29:43,492 --> 01:29:45,046
Yeah.
1088
01:29:47,371 --> 01:29:49,590
All right. Come on, let's do this.
1089
01:29:49,665 --> 01:29:52,085
One more thing.
1090
01:29:52,168 --> 01:29:54,255
What?
1091
01:30:00,092 --> 01:30:02,394
What are you doing?
1092
01:30:03,471 --> 01:30:06,769
Well, you know, Todd,
I thought a lot about what you said,
1093
01:30:06,849 --> 01:30:09,234
and you were right.
1094
01:30:09,310 --> 01:30:12,323
I do want a threesome.
1095
01:30:12,396 --> 01:30:14,947
Look, I meant two girls, OK?
1096
01:30:15,566 --> 01:30:17,821
Two girls, OK.
1097
01:30:18,986 --> 01:30:21,371
Come on, buddy.
1098
01:30:21,822 --> 01:30:25,085
Don't you wanna go balls to the wall?
1099
01:30:26,994 --> 01:30:29,758
What? I don't...
1100
01:30:33,584 --> 01:30:38,259
Guess what, everybody?
I'm free from my penis.
1101
01:30:43,719 --> 01:30:46,934
I'm totally flaccid. It's great.
1102
01:30:47,014 --> 01:30:52,270
- What, did your horse-stiffie juice run out?
- Not exactly.
1103
01:30:56,107 --> 01:30:59,784
What are you gonna do with that?
1104
01:31:03,698 --> 01:31:07,459
- You slept with the Nazi?
- She's a total neat freak, just like me.
1105
01:31:07,535 --> 01:31:11,415
- It's like we were destined to meet.
- Seth, you're a Jew.
1106
01:31:11,497 --> 01:31:15,294
A self-loathing Jew. It's perfect.
1107
01:31:20,631 --> 01:31:23,217
Hey, have you guys seen Ron?
1108
01:31:23,301 --> 01:31:26,184
God. God.
1109
01:31:26,262 --> 01:31:29,062
OK. Ron, listen. It's cool, OK?
1110
01:31:29,140 --> 01:31:31,608
It's cool. I like you. OK?
1111
01:31:31,684 --> 01:31:34,448
It's just not my thing, OK?
1112
01:31:37,064 --> 01:31:39,615
If this is going to be special,
1113
01:31:39,692 --> 01:31:42,160
I need it to be silent.
1114
01:31:42,778 --> 01:31:44,914
God.
1115
01:31:44,989 --> 01:31:48,702
God, no. Listen, listen. My God.
1116
01:31:50,453 --> 01:31:52,672
Hey, Billy, have you seen...
1117
01:31:52,747 --> 01:31:55,796
Jesus Christ. What the fuck, Ron?
1118
01:31:55,875 --> 01:31:57,962
What? No. It's not what it looks like.
1119
01:31:58,044 --> 01:32:00,547
Todd was trying to break Mel and I up.
1120
01:32:00,630 --> 01:32:03,892
He was worried I would replace him
at Mel's dad's company.
1121
01:32:03,966 --> 01:32:08,226
And I don't even want the job, you dumb shit.
All I want is Mel.
1122
01:32:08,304 --> 01:32:10,143
No.
1123
01:32:10,222 --> 01:32:13,984
So in retaliation, you decided to rape him.
1124
01:32:14,852 --> 01:32:17,616
I can respect that.
1125
01:32:17,688 --> 01:32:22,030
Hey, fellas, looks like
the real party's in here.
1126
01:32:25,112 --> 01:32:28,494
So is there an agreed-upon
safe word or what?
1127
01:32:28,991 --> 01:32:31,246
It's not what you think.
1128
01:32:39,043 --> 01:32:41,428
Mel.
1129
01:32:42,421 --> 01:32:45,351
You are sick.
1130
01:32:45,424 --> 01:32:51,392
No, no, wait. No, it's not what you think.
Todd set me up. He... Wait. Mel, honey.
1131
01:32:51,472 --> 01:32:53,940
Mel.
1132
01:32:57,103 --> 01:33:00,484
What the hell is he talking about?
1133
01:33:01,691 --> 01:33:03,862
Ask him.
1134
01:33:07,613 --> 01:33:09,499
Mel.
1135
01:33:12,910 --> 01:33:15,295
Mel. Wait.
1136
01:33:20,459 --> 01:33:22,761
Wait. Hang on.
1137
01:33:23,671 --> 01:33:26,221
Mel.
1138
01:33:26,299 --> 01:33:29,929
"So, he set this whole thing up
to get Ron to cheat."
1139
01:33:30,011 --> 01:33:32,514
Sorry.
1140
01:33:34,849 --> 01:33:38,941
- Is this true?
- Sweetheart, he's lying.
1141
01:33:39,020 --> 01:33:42,318
- You're so fucking fired, Billy.
- Really?
1142
01:33:42,398 --> 01:33:46,241
After all I've done?
He's been skimming off the top for years
1143
01:33:46,319 --> 01:33:51,373
and sleeping with Angela in Accounting.
She gave him crabs. I bought the cream.
1144
01:33:51,449 --> 01:33:53,869
- Bullshit.
- Bastard.
1145
01:33:53,951 --> 01:33:57,463
OK, everybody out of the room. Now.
1146
01:33:57,538 --> 01:34:00,920
- Autumn, honey...
- I said out, now.
1147
01:34:06,589 --> 01:34:09,804
- Angela in Accounting.
- I can expl...
1148
01:34:09,884 --> 01:34:14,689
- Look at me, you son of a bitch.
- My God. Not there.
1149
01:34:14,764 --> 01:34:16,436
Mel.
1150
01:34:19,685 --> 01:34:23,529
That's my fiancee.
It's all a big misunderstanding.
1151
01:34:24,565 --> 01:34:26,820
Hang on, we're taking a short cut.
1152
01:34:32,573 --> 01:34:35,539
Mel. Mel. Come back.
1153
01:34:44,126 --> 01:34:45,929
Mel.
1154
01:34:47,380 --> 01:34:49,551
Take the wheel.
1155
01:34:49,632 --> 01:34:52,266
- Mel, let's talk.
- Leave me alone.
1156
01:34:58,808 --> 01:35:00,445
Ron.
1157
01:35:03,437 --> 01:35:06,486
Mel. Mel, Mel. Mel, listen. Listen, listen.
1158
01:35:06,565 --> 01:35:11,287
Todd thought I was gonna take his job, so he
wanted to get rid of me and so he set me up.
1159
01:35:11,362 --> 01:35:13,449
He what?
1160
01:35:13,531 --> 01:35:16,496
What were you doing in that room?
I saw you.
1161
01:35:16,576 --> 01:35:20,289
We were trying to get him back,
just trying to scare him, that's all.
1162
01:35:20,371 --> 01:35:26,006
Come on. You know me, and you know that
I love you and I would never cheat on you.
1163
01:35:27,253 --> 01:35:29,673
Come on. Listen, listen. This weekend,
1164
01:35:29,755 --> 01:35:34,430
I have heard nothing but reasons
why we should not get married.
1165
01:35:34,510 --> 01:35:38,733
You know, that it's too soon,
that marriage is a dead institution,
1166
01:35:38,806 --> 01:35:43,777
that golf is boring if you play only
one hole the rest of your life.
1167
01:35:43,853 --> 01:35:46,950
- What are you talking about?
- I don't know.
1168
01:35:47,982 --> 01:35:50,485
OK, look. Listen, listen.
What I mean is this.
1169
01:35:50,568 --> 01:35:56,334
What I'm trying to say is that,
no matter what anyone else tells me,
1170
01:35:56,407 --> 01:36:01,128
all I can think about is the next
time I get to stare into your eyes.
1171
01:36:01,662 --> 01:36:06,467
And if I get a chance to do that
every day for the rest of my life,
1172
01:36:06,542 --> 01:36:09,093
that sounds like a pretty good deal to me.
1173
01:36:21,390 --> 01:36:24,155
- I'm ready to elope.
- You're ready to...
1174
01:36:24,226 --> 01:36:28,237
I'm sick of this bride-to-be stuff.
I'm ready to elope.
1175
01:36:28,314 --> 01:36:30,900
OK. Are you serious?
1176
01:36:30,983 --> 01:36:34,910
Cos I think Derek
actually knows a place that we can go.
1177
01:36:35,446 --> 01:36:37,950
Actually, I...
1178
01:36:38,032 --> 01:36:41,378
I think I know someone who can help us.
1179
01:36:47,333 --> 01:36:49,634
Do you, Ron, take Melinda
1180
01:36:49,710 --> 01:36:52,973
to be your lawfully wedded wife?
1181
01:36:53,047 --> 01:36:54,174
I do.
1182
01:36:54,257 --> 01:36:59,891
Do you, Melinda, take Ron
to be your lawfully wedded husband?
1183
01:36:59,971 --> 01:37:01,940
I do.
1184
01:37:02,014 --> 01:37:05,312
Way to go, Ron.
1185
01:37:05,393 --> 01:37:08,607
- Sorry, Mel.
- It's OK.
1186
01:37:09,397 --> 01:37:13,905
By the power vested in me
in the state of Florida,
1187
01:37:13,985 --> 01:37:16,405
I now pronounce you man and wife.
1188
01:37:16,487 --> 01:37:19,287
You may kiss your bride, papi.
1189
01:37:27,248 --> 01:37:29,502
Thank God. I'm starving.
1190
01:37:29,584 --> 01:37:32,301
Yeah, I could really go for a pizza.
1191
01:37:33,337 --> 01:37:35,592
You like pizza?
1192
01:37:49,395 --> 01:37:52,574
- Aloha. Welcome.
- Aloha back at you.
1193
01:37:52,648 --> 01:37:56,492
Last name Rose,
checking into the honeymoon suite.
1194
01:37:57,236 --> 01:38:00,997
I'm sorry, ma'am. The honeymoon suite
is booked for another party.
1195
01:38:01,073 --> 01:38:03,838
Well, check again. It's my honeymoon.
1196
01:38:03,910 --> 01:38:08,132
Calvin, tell this man how you made
a reservation in the honeymoon suite.
1197
01:38:08,205 --> 01:38:11,005
- Baby, the thing is...
- Don't you "baby" me.
1198
01:38:11,083 --> 01:38:17,134
I didn't wait 17 years to not have
my honeymoon in the honeymoon suite.
1199
01:38:17,214 --> 01:38:21,225
Hi, checking into the honeymoon suite.
Last name Simmons.
1200
01:38:23,262 --> 01:38:25,848
You.
1201
01:38:25,932 --> 01:38:28,435
You son of a bitch.
1202
01:38:29,810 --> 01:38:32,776
You. Small world, huh?
1203
01:38:32,855 --> 01:38:35,904
I'm gonna kill you.
1204
01:38:37,443 --> 01:38:41,833
- You're nuts.
- Get over here, you son of a bitch.
1205
01:38:41,906 --> 01:38:44,077
- Mel.
- Get your ass over here.
1206
01:38:44,158 --> 01:38:48,714
That's my honeymoon suite,
you son of a bitch.
1207
01:38:48,788 --> 01:38:53,379
- That's my ring.
- That was my grandmother's ring.
1208
01:38:53,459 --> 01:38:58,596
You are insane. Get away from me.
You need some therapy, woman.
1209
01:43:24,397 --> 01:43:26,484
ENGLISH
95992
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