All language subtitles for son.of.the.pink.panther.1993.720p.web.x264-regret

Is the orchestra tuning?

Fifteen seconds.

She's good.

Good, huh?

Yes, she's good.

As good as you?

Maybe.

Better.

She was only showing
how good she is.

I know how good she is,

or she wouldn't be with us.

There is to be
no fighting
amongst us.

Understood?

Here they come.

Oh, I wish you wouldn't smoke.

We should never have
sent you to America.

You picked up such
appalling habits there.

And nobody smokes in Lugash.

That's different.
Mmm.

Of course.

There's nothing wrong
with America, father.

My mother was American.
You married her.

Your mother never smoked.

Well, I'm surprised you noticed.

She wasn't dead three weeks
before you married that woman.

You'll no doubt
be pleased to know...

That I am about to pay
the price for that folly.

Then the rumor is true?

Yes, it would seem so.

But, Yasmin, please
keep it to yourself.

I don't want to
alert your stepmother
until I have proof.

Card.

Praise Allah somebody in
this family is lucky.

Hmm.

Cash this in.

How did you know
I can be trusted?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I thought you were
one of my bodyguards.
It's all right.

Uh, what's the going rate
on a slap these days?

You're cheap.

I must apologize
for my daughter.

She's a very high-spirited girl.

It looks like a distress flare.

Yasmin, get in your cabin.

Wait a minute.
Now!

Gentlemen.

Ah!

Haven't we met before?

Not formally.

Now, be a nice little princess

and go to sleep.

Ninety-nine bottles
of beer on the wall

Ninety-nine bottles of beer

You take one down
and you pass it around

Ninety...

Hi, Dad!

Four.

Ninety-four bottles.

The safety
of your daughter
depends on two things.

First, $100 million

discreetly deposited
into a Swiss account.

No problem.

Second, to abdicate.

Renounce the throne?

That is impossible.

Then Yasmin will die.

Who is to succeed me?

All in good time.

What a shame.

I enjoyed your company
at the tables.

And I yours.

Hey, stop!

I said stop!

Hey, hey!

Hey!

We haven't time to
humor some bumpkin cop.

Lose him.

I said stop!

Hey!

Hey! Can you hear me?

Hey, hey!

I think we've lost him.

Yeah.

Look out!

Are you all right?

Yes.
No!

One of my passengers is hurt.

No wonder.

The way you drive,
you're lucky
they are not all dead.

The way I drive?
Yes.

Could we please settle this
at the hospital?

No. I'm Police
Commissioner Dreyfus.

I demand to see
your driver's license.

As you wish.

Hey! Hey!

Ha!

That felt good.

Now then, is anyone hurt?

Yes, in the van.

My sister is unconscious.

She is?
She should be
taken to the hospital.

Where is she?
Uh, in the van.

Excuse me,
your sister
is in his van?

No, you see...
No, it is not my van.

Look, I'm Commissioner Dreyfus,

if you would allow me...
Excuse me. Just a moment.

Just a moment.

When... Excuse me.
When I asked you
if anyone was hurt,

you replied,
"Yes, in my van."

No, no. I said,
"Yes, in the van,"

not, "In my van."

No, no. You did not say,
"Yes, in the van."

Not, "Yes, in the van."

You said... You did not say,
"Yes, my van,"
not "Yes, the van."

Look. Did...
You said, "Yes, my van,"
not "Yes, in the van."

Did you hear
what I just said?
Yes. I heard.

It's my van.

Oh. Now we're getting
someplace.

Listen, you imbecile...
Better watch your tongue,
monsieur.

I am an officer of the leau.

What?

I said I...
I know what you said.

You said you're
an officer of the

leau.

FRANCOIS:
The what? Please.

My sister may be dying.

Okay.

Please, please, stand back.
Stand back, please.

You've been hunting?

Yes. Hunting. hunting.

Very perceptive.

Hello.

Hello.

Who are you?

I am Gendarme Jacques Gambrelli,

Second Class.

Who are you?

I am...

Your sister is very,

very unconscious.

Yes. I suspect
she has received
the beump on the head.

What?

Bump.

What?

Oh, never mind.
Come, Francois.

Yes. She requires
the immediate
emergency treatment,

Mister... Um...

Jones.

Jones.

Take her quickly
to the Nice hospital,
Mr. Jones,

and I will phone ahead to...

To tell them that you're...

Mr. Jones, Mr. Jones,
please stop!

Wait! Mr. Jones,
my hand, my finger!

Mr. Jones! Mr. Jones!

Mr... Mr. Jones!

Mr. Jones,
please stop!

Mr. Jones! Mr. Jones!

My glove! My glove!

Hey!

There is no time now
to examine your credentials

and make out the report,
but I have the idea.

You shall drive me.

You shall drive me
to the nearest phone,

and... Wait!

I'm sorry we are late,

but we've had a car accident.

Oh, nothing too serious,
I trust.

We are lucky to be alive.

Please.
Please.

Now, Chief. Listen.

Normally,
investigation of crimes

committed in French
territorial waters

is your responsibility.

But as this kidnapping
is politically so important
to the government,

the President has ordered me
to personally take charge
of the case.

Now, understand,
it's not that he thinks
you are less qualified.

Perhaps he feels,
after all,
that I am, uh...

More qualified.

Hmm, well...

So, what are your orders?

Well, first I'll want to know
everything that is known
about the case.

Well,
this is everything
we have to date.

Oh, good.

Then I'll want
your best man
as liaison.

That would be Gambrelli.

I'll study this report tonight,

and I'll see you here
in the morning at 9:00.

Right.
Oh, by the way, um,

there was
a police officer
at the accident.

How shall I, uh...

He had an odd way of speaking.

Mispronouncing words.

No...

Crashed his bicycle
into our car.

Doesn't ring a bell, no.
No?

Well, perhaps it's not
that important.

See you in the morning.

Oh, God.

I was...
This way,
Your Highness.

I need water.
Yes, yes, yes.

And I need some aspirin.
Uh-huh. Sure, sure.

I feel like
I'm gonna be sick.
Can you get me water?

Sure. Yes.
Right away.

Take your clothes off.

No.

Take your clothes off!

No.

Okay, I'll do it for you.

Let...
Get your hands off me!

You get your...

What about the cop?

The longer we wait...

He will probably show up
at the hospital.

And abdicate the throne?

Yes.

Are you willing
to accede to their demands?

And, Arnon,

I'm afraid that
I cannot answer that...

Try to make it look
like an accident.

Until these people
have been in touch.

What makes you think
he will show up?

Oh, just a hunch.

Look.

He won't be long.

Why not?

Because there was
something phony
about Mr. Jones

and those hunters with
their automatic weapon.

I think Mr. Jones
just wanted
to get out of there.

I don't believe
he had any intention

of taking his sister
to the hospital.

Looks like you might be right.

Good evening.

Hey!

What is he doing?

What does it look
like he's doing?

Hey! I... I can't...

I...

Oh, no.

What if he drowns?

He can't. Not yet.

What am I doing?
I can't swim.
Help! Help!

What's wrong?

I can't swim.

Neither can I.

Then why aren't you drowning?

Because it's easier to stand.

What?

Yes.

Who are you?

Gendarme
Jacques Gambrelli,
Second Class.

Who are you?

Commissioner Dreyfus, police.

Come on, Gambrelli.
I'll give you a lift home.

But why would
the man in the van
want to kill me?

Maybe it had something to do
with the unconscious girl.

You had
a good look at her.
We didn't.

"She walks in beauty,
like the night

"Of cloudless climes
and starry skies."

Very poetic.

Yes. Leurd Byron.

Leurd?

Thank you for the lift,
Commissioner. Good night.

Wait here.

Do you live here
alone, Gambrelli?

Oh, no, I live with my mother.

Ah. Uh, I'd like
to meet your mother.

Why not? Everybody
wants to meet my mother.

Oh, excuse me, Ma.

Oh, this is
Police Commissioner Dreyfus.
He wants to meet you.

How do you do,
Mrs. Gambrelli?

I hope it's not too late.

No, no.
Please come in,
Commissioner.

I'm sorry I'm a bit wet.

I'm... I'm sorry I'm...

I'm a bit wet, yes.
Please, have a seat,
Commissioner.

Right. Yes.
Thank you.

I am just going upstairs,
to change my clothes.

Do you speak Italian,
Commissioner?

No, not really.

Darling.
Yes?

Now bring the Commissioner
down one of your robes.

Yes.

Jacques!

He's just like his father.

Would you care to
join me in the kitchen?

I would indeed.

Refreshing to hear
some good singing
for a change.

Jacques loves opera.

Are you musically
inclined,
madame?

No.

His father?

He played the French horn.

Oh. That probably
accounts for it.

Why did you name him Jacques?

Why not?
It's a perfectly good
French name.

Yes, but you're Italian.

I knew a man once named Jacques.

When he died 10 years ago,

I said, "Thank God
there can never, never be
another one like him."

And then I...
I met your son.

So I decided
he would be better off
if he never knew.

You mean his father is...

Clouseau.

No! It can't be!

It can't be!

Commissioner?

Your Highness.

Yasmin.

I have a little snackie for you.

Under different circumstances,

we could have had such fun.

What happened?

Make sure she doesn't
get out again.

We need to get you a doctor.

Oh, dear.
Come, gentlemen,
let us begin.

You shouldn't have done that.

Now we're all unsterilized.

How are you?

Terrible.

Oh, no doubt it was a beum.

A what?

A bomb.

A bomb!

Oh, you should rest, Charles.

How do you know my first name?

You told me in the ambulance.

That's strange.
I don't remember.

But I remember you.

You said,
"My name is Charley Dreyfus,

"and I'm going to be
a policeman."

I used to say that

as a child.

I must have been delirious.

No, you were very sweet.

I was?

Yes.

Huh? What's this?
What's this?

Some...
Something's happened.

What?

Jacques!

I'll report this...

What are you doing?

Jacques!

What are you doing?
Give me that bowl.

Give it to me.

Stop it.

Something terrible has happened.

There. There.

Now, don't play with it again.

Yes.
Thank you, nurse.

Oh, dear.
No, no, no.
You should relax now.

No, I can't.
I can't relax.

I have to tell him something.

What's his name,
your son?
Jacques.

Jacques.
Jacques.
Listen, Jacques.

I wanted to tell you,
you are in great danger.

I am?

Francois, where's
the Chief's report?

Here.

There.

You remember
the unconscious girl
you saw in the van?

Oh, how could I ever forget her?

"Beauty too rich for use,
for earth too dear!"

Jacques loves poetry.

Yes, I know.
I want you to look
at this photograph.

My God, but it is she.
But how did you know?

A hunch.
A what?

A heunch.

A heunch.
But who is she?

What is she doing
in the Chief's file?

She's Princess Yasmin.

Princess!

Kidnapped?
Isn't she beautiful, mother?

Hmm, not bad for a princess.
Oh.

Commissioner.
At ease, Gambrelli.

I'm glad to see that
you are not hurt,
madame.

Thank you, Chief.

And I'm particularly happy
that you are still with us,
Commissioner.

Oh, I'm sure you are.

And I am particularly happy
that you assigned me
Officer Gambrelli.

Really?
Without him,
I might have not discovered

that the princess
was being held here,
in the South of France.

I'll put out a general
alarm immediately.

You will do
nothing of the kind
till I give the word.

In the meantime,

Officer Gambrelli's mother
needs a safe place to stay,

so, as I'm going to be here
for a while, she can have
my suite at the hotel.

Oh, no, but I can't.

But you must, please.

Whatever they need, Francois.
Round-the-clock
protection, Chief.

God bless you.

Get out!

Wait, I... I, um...

I just remembered
something that I forgot
to tell the Commissioner.

I will bring the car around.

No, no, no. If it's not
too much trouble,

I would prefer that
you take my mother

to the hotel and then
come back for me.

You go that way.

Dirty little man!

Oh, sorry, sorry.

Why don't we just
ask for a doctor?

Don't worry.
We'll find one.

Doctor.

If you're looking for a doctor

I am a very good doctor

See you in surgery.

Ambulance!

Excuse me.
Yes?

Are you a doctor?

Yes. I am
a very good doctor.

Well, would you mind
coming with us, please?

Oh, that would be a delight.

You are looking
as beautiful as ever.

And you're still
the quintessential
flatterer.

We haven't been
in this place
together for...

How long?

Ten years?

At least.

You wanted to see me.

Why?

I felt I should lend my support.

That's very considerate of you.

I believe one of
the ransom conditions

is that you abdicate
your throne.

Yes.

You'd do that?

It's possible,

as long as my successor
is not an army man.

Well, I'm here if you need me.

I won't forget that.

Obviously he doesn't have
much faith in the military.

Just his way of saying
that he knows
we're sleeping together.

You think that's all he knows?

Mmm-hmm.

Or by now
you'd be soup
for my supper.

Yes?

The doctor.

Finally.

Come in, Doctor.

Yes. Good evening.

Good evening.
Evening.

Well, what seems
to be the trouble?

Ah, you have received
the blemish
in your arm, huh?

Yes. I believe it may
require some stitches.
What do you think?

Oh, yes. I think

you need something
to keep you from fainting.

Yes, you must take
deep breaths like this.

You see?
Then you don't faint.

But deep, very, very deep.

What happened?

You hyperventilated.

I did? Where?

You fainted.
Oh, yes, I know.

Well, are you going to
stitch up my arm or not?

Of course.

Of course I am going to
stitch up your...

Up your...

But first, I must check

if you are

physically fit.

Fit as a fiddle.
Very good.

And now...

And now I must
check your reflex.

Flex as a fiddle.

Very good.

Now,

now...

Oh!

Here...

Yeah, I've got a spare
in here somewhere

I... Ah! Here.

Ah!

This is very good.
You know what this is?

Very good.

My dentist uses this.

He pulled my

wisdom tooth
and I didn't even
feel it.

Novocaine.

No, no, no. No.

This, his name is Fishburn.

Dr. Marvin Fishburn. Yes?

I highly recommend him

if you are in need of...

It seems I have stabbed myself

in the cheek, yes?

Now, before I can
stitch up your arm,

I must inject it.

Hold still.

Hold... Hold still.

Hold still.

Yes.

Very good.

Good.

Now, okay...

It's...

This...

Now it's getting very late

and I think, oh,

I get back

in the hospital in surgery.

I am due in surgery.

Eh?

Bye-bye.

Oh!

On second thought,

I am in no condition

to operate.

Is better if I stay here, huh?

With you.

If you need me,
I am here with you.

I am here.

Now, just relax.

If you need me...

HANS: We've run into
a slight complication

which makes it
impractical for us to
stay here any longer.

Yeah, yeah, if all goes well,
we should be in Darfur
by tomorrow afternoon.

"But, soft!

"Soft! What light

"through yonder window breaks?

"Oh, it is the east,

"and Juliet is the sun!"

Romeo?

Uh, no,

Jacques.

You know
what they say?
No.

Yes.

"A rose by
any other name..."

"Would smell as sweet."

Yes.

What are you doing
here, sweetie?

I came to rescue you, you, you.

Here, hold your breath.

My breath?
Mmm-hmm.

Longer.

I can't.
Oh.

Here, we'll try again.
Go...

It's no use.

Well,

There's one other way, okay?

Now, it's...
It's a little extreme,
but it always works.

Hello?
Did I wake you?

No.

Are you alone?

No. I am in bed
with a beautiful woman.

Don't tease.

Even in fun.

I just spoke to
our friend in France.

Something's come up
and he plans
to visit Uncle Idris.

QUEEN: So soon?

Evidently he had no alternative.

Rumor has it that
the king is returning
to the city tomorrow.

Good.

This place is getting
a little too close
to Uncle Idris for comfort.

Will I see you tomorrow?

Of course.

Good night.

No more hiccups.

Amazing.
But how did you discover it?

I was, uh, engaged,
to a football player

when I was in college
in the States,

and he, uh,
always had the hiccups.

Ah, who could blame him?

How about you?

I never have hiccups.

Oh, never?

But if I ever do,
I hope you're somewhere
in the neighborhood.

Oh, I would consider it
an honor and privilege
to be of assistance.

How long
have you been a policeman,
Officer Gambrelli?

Oh, three years
next May.
Yes?

How long have you
been a princess,
Your Highness?

All my life.

Oh, that's a long time
to be anything.

Yes.

Do you like being a cop?

Yes, sometimes.
How is it being
a princess?

It's not much fun.

Oh, fun is important.

Yes.

What else is important to you?

Um, singing.

Yes?
Oh!

That's terrible.

Yes.
Yes.

And poetry.

"Parent of golden
dreams, romance!

"Auspicious Queen
of childish joys

"Who lead'st along,
in airy dance."

That's Byron.

Yes.

Yes.

And, uh, and the rain.

Yes.
And sleeping.

Mmm-hmm.
And... And...
And my mother.

You like your mother?
Yes. Very much, yes.

And women.

Yeah, what kinds of women?

Oh, all kinds.

Especially

dark women with blue eyes

and full red lips

who smell like
night-blooming jasmine

and taste like a warm mango.

Warm mango?

And honey.

Oh, my God.

Mine, too.

Playing doctor?

We're all going
on a little trip,

and I think you'll be
much more comfortable

if you sleep
throughout the journey.

Touch her,
and you'll
answer to me.

Easy, easy.

There will be
nothing left of him
when that goes off.

He's coming out of it.

Let's go.

You are driving too fast.

Oh, mother.

Jacques, I was so worried.

The princess,
they have taken
the princess.

Please, Jacques.

I have to stop them.

You see?
You're not supposed
to get up.

Oh, but I must tell
the Commissioner
about Uncle Idris.

I will tell the Commissioner
about Uncle Idris.

Who is Uncle Idris?

Uncle Idris?
I... I don't know.

I remember he is someone

that they were going
to Darfur
to visit Uncle Idris.

Okay.

Just keep quiet.

Uncle Idris.

Uncle Idris.

Well?
They said
he was in room 408.

I'll check.

Hello? Hello?

How is he?

It was all I could do
to keep Jacques
from getting out of bed

and coming down here
to tell you about someone
named Uncle Idris.

Idris?

He said he overheard
someone say they
were going to Darfur.

Darfur. That's a small
military republic
that borders Lugash.

Charles.

Yes, Maria?

I'm worried about Jacques.

There, there.

If he's anything
like his father,

he'll be all right.
He'll manage.

But that's the trouble.

He's too much like his father.

That's why I disappeared,
came here,

and encouraged him
to be a musician
or a poet.

But in spite of everything,
he was determined
to be a policeman.

Can you protect him, Charles?

Soon I must tell him
who his father was.

His father, yes, was an idiot.

I mean...

Yes, but I can't tell him that.

No, of course you can't.

Clouseau has always
been his hero.

Can you imagine
if you longed to be
a great fisherman

and you suddenly discovered
that your father
was Captain Ahab?

Come. Sit here. Tell me

you and Clouseau.

I was very young.

I know, but I still
don't understand.

You, such a beautiful woman...

We were caught in a snowstorm.

I knew we would
freeze to death
unless we kept moving.

He said the Alaskan Indians
kept from freezing to death
by making love.

I was young.
I wanted to live.

I hope you're not offended.

No.

It's just too bad
you didn't have
a stationary bicycle

or a rowing machine
or something.

But then I would not
have had Jacques.

Exactly.

No, no. Of course,
that would have been a pity.

Tell me.

Don't you think it would be best

if you told him
about his father now,

rather than
having to find out
for himself later on?

Yes, I suppose you're right.

Yes?

Wow, Chief,
you look a bit frazzled.

Why not?

Officer Gambrelli
just pushed me
out of the window.

Fortunately,
I held on to
the telephone.

And to make matters worse,

Officer Gambrelli
won't tell me anything

until he's cleared it with you.

Now, you may be in charge
of this case, Commissioner,

but I am Chief of Police here.

And as long
as Officer Gambrelli
is on my force,

I expect him to report
his condition when asked

without your
official permission
or blessing!

And I always knew

you were a pompous pissant!

Commissioner.

Help!

Clouseau. My father.

Yes.

But why didn't you tell me?

For the same reason
I didn't tell him.

I thought you would
both be better off
not knowing.

Your father and I
weren't in love.

We had a brief encounter
in a blizzard.

Why did you pretend
that my father

was an Italian
French horn player?

Well, for one thing,
it explained
your interest in music.

Actually, Clouseau
played the violin.

Not well, but passionately.

He made love the way
he played violin.

But why do you tell me now?

Because in many ways,
you are like your father.

Foolhardy,
accident-prone,
pigheaded,

courageous, accident-prone...

I think it's important
that you learn
about the things

that he depended on
to keep him alive.

Also, the things he neglected
to pay attention to
that ultimately killed him.

"If I must die,

"I will encounter
darkness as a bride

"and hug it
in mine arms."

Shakespeare?

Yes.

Excuse me,
but, uh, I felt sure
you would want to be told.

Chief Lazar and the Commissioner

have been taken
to intensive care.

Have you told him?
Yes.

Gendarme Second Class Gambrelli.

Yes?

It looks like you
are in charge now.

Oh, yes?
No!

Time is running out
for the princess,

and apart from myself
and Francois,

Officer Gambrelli
is the only one

who can identify the kidnappers.

But, Charles, he has
so little experience.

His father was a patrolman

and became the greatest
detective in France

without any experience.

Trust me,
if you are a Clouseau,
you can succeed without it.

I presume you will now
change your name?

Why?

You are a Clouseau now.

Yes, but I am also a Gambrelli.

It's a good name.

Gambrelli

You can sing it.

Do you want me to change it?

It might be nice.
Your father saved my life.

Clouseau

Not bad. Okay.

Francois, see to it
that
Gendarme
Second Class
Jacques Gambrelli

is promoted
to Detective First Class
Jacques Clouseau, Jr.,

as quickly as you can.

Get him new papers
and a passport.

Don't worry, Maria.

When the kidnappers hear
that a Clouseau
is on their trail,

they'll probably surrender
without a fight.

Shut up!

Salute.

Hello?

Hello!

Dr. Balls?

Who wants to know?

Detective Jacques Clouseau.

Second... First Class, Jr.

I spoke with you
on the phone earlier.

Good evening.

I am Madame Balls.

You don't look like him.

I wouldn't know.

I have never met your husband.

Who said anything
about my husband?

You did.
You said I don't
look like him.

I meant your father!

Well, why didn't you say so?
I never met him, either.

He's a real Clouseau!

Detective Clouseau.

First Class, Jr.

Naturally.

Dr. Auguste Balls of Nice
at your service.

You must forgive me
for having
Madame
Balls
establish your authenticity.

So many crooks
and charlatans
these days

who would use my talents
for ill-gotten gains.

You can't be too careful.

Now, am I forgiven?

Yes.

Such a joy

to see the son
of my oldest, dearest,
and deadest friend.

And as I always
used to say to him,

"Always remember,

"if you need a disguise
when duty calls,

"look no further,
because you've got Balls."

What?
Did you make that up?

No. My genius lies in
the art of transfiguration.

My wife is the Emily Bronte
of the Balls family.

Congratulations.

I am a bit
of a poet myself.
Oh!

You and Marta must
get together sometime and,
whip up a few sonnets.

She also makes
the most delicious
borscht.

Now, specifically,
how can I help

the son
of my nearest, dearest,
and deadest customer?

I must get into Lugash
without being recognized.

Say no more.

Marta!

MADAME Hello!

Marta,

bring me the plans
of the inconspicuous
Bedouin beggar

number 2.

Wait here.

Is that why you asked me
to meet you in the park?

So you could attack me
like you used to
attack my father?

Yes.

I can honestly say
that your father

would have been dead many times

if it weren't for
my surprise attacks
keeping him on his toes,

alert to every danger.

So I am available,

in case you are
considering hiring me
in the same capacity

that I once served your father.

Ah!

Have a fortune cookie.

What does it say?

"You will hire
an oriental family friend."

Amazing.

His plane to Lugash
is on schedule.

He will be met at the airport
and, uh, taken to the hotel,

where he
will be contacted
by one of our agents.

We interrupt this broadcast

to bring you
an important news flash.

A breaking story out of Nice
reveals that Clouseau
may have had a son.

An anonymous phone caller
has stated that

Gendarme
Second Class
Jacques Gambrelli

was in fact First Class
Detective Jacques Clouseau

of the Nice police force.

Charles, have you seen
the morning paper?

He's being met
by a French agent
posing as a limo driver.

Mr. Gambrelli?

Oui.
Oh. Me, too.

Mr. Gambrelli.
Yes?

I have to take you
to your hotel room.

There is no need to register.

Just go straight up to the room

and wait for a call
from Mr. Wasim.

Who?
Mr. Wasim.

This way, please.

The son of France's
greatest detective,

undoubtedly
a talented police officer
in his own right,

from Nice

arrives in Lugash.

It can mean only one thing.

Will this change our plans?

I don't think so.

We have always known
that if we were discovered

we risked reprisal
from our unstable neighbor.

It may well be that
the son of France's
greatest detective

can insure us
against that discovery.

How can he do that?

By eliminating Uncle Idris,

or at least
taking credit for it.

For the time being, at least,

make sure that
Detective Clouseau, Jr.
is well protected.

Your Highness.

Please, put your legs
around my waist.

In your dreams.

As you wish,
Your Highness.
Wait, wait!

What are you doing?

Don't!

You can't take me down!

Here we go!

Geronimo!

You let me jump
out of that plane
without a parachute!

Your Highness,
if you do not stop hitting me,
I'm going to drop you.

Oh, really?

You wouldn't dare!
I am your ticket
to paradise!

Uh, Mr. Gambrelli's room.

For you. It's Mr. Wasim.

Thank you.

Hello?

Meet me at Omar's Oasis
at 10:00.

I'll be wearing a red carnation.

Welcome to my home
away from home,
Your Highness.

Who are you?

My Muslim name is
Sheikh Latif Abdullah
Idris Al-Sabah,

but you can call me Uncle Idris.

But what's wrong
with my disguise?

Dr. Balls said
it was his most
original creation.

Mr. Gambrelli's room.

It's Commissioner Dreyfus.

Coming.

Pass me the phone.

Hello?

Hello?
Cato.

Hello? Wait.
Hello?

Hello, wait! Hello!

Hello!

Hello, Jacques?

Where are you?

Hello?

Yes?
Hello!

What's happening?

Hello!
Jacques?

Yes? Oh, is that you,
Commissioner?

Yes.

I'm sorry to do this,

but I want you to pack your bags

and catch the next plane home.

What?

You've become a political...
Uh, a political hot potato.

The French government
can't protect you.

But what about the princess?

Officially, she is not
your concern anymore.

Well, maybe not officially,

but unofficially,
she will always
be my concern.

I think I'll come
with you anyway.

No, Cato.

One hot potato is too much.

I'm very sorry.

Sorry.

It is.
Is it? You are...

I hate to make a bother,

but would you
give for me, please,
your autograph?

What?

I do not have the pen.
Do you have the pen?

No, no.
No?

Anyone have a pen?

You write, "To Wafiyyah."

Yes, yes,
but I don't have
any paper.

Not on paper. Here.

There?

Yes,
for my girlfriend. Hurry.

Quickly.
I must finish dance or
Omar will cut off my nipples.

What is this?
What is this?
What?

Gambrelli?
Yes.

No, Clouseau.
No!

Yes, I see your picture.
Very beautiful.

Oh.
Big smile.

Could this be Omar?

Omar! Hit it, Muffid.

Excuse me. Yes.

Oh, not you again!
Yes.

Where is the princess?

Not far away from here.
I can take you to her,
but we have not much time.

Why? What time is it now?

3:15.

My nose.

Excuse me.

Thank you.

They were going to
kill you. Follow me.

Wafiyyah!
That's him! Clouseau!

Gambrelli!

Pervert!

This way. The kitchen.

In here.

Hey! Hi.

Come! This way!

Not until you tell me
who you are.

Colonel Al-Durai,
Lugash Special Services.

I'm here to help you
rescue the princess.

Where is the princess?

She's being held
in a desert hideout

about 20 kilometers

northeast of Ksar el Kebir.

You didn't tell me
it was going to be
like this.

I didn't know...
I am ruined!

It was going to
be like this.
You'll be compensated.

Where's your car?
Over there.

Everyone, in the car!
In the car!

Cato! Cato! Here!

Where is Gambrelli?

Hopefully, gone to
rescue the princess.

Where are we going?

To make sure he does.

Get out and see
what that sign says.

It says Ksar el Kebir
175 kilometers.

Is that where we're going?

No. That's where
I am going.

Bye, Cato.

Get in, rabbi.

Remember, men,

it is a diplomatic imperative
that Clouseau gets credit
for rescuing the princess.

Good luck.

Gentlemen, after you.

Me? I am not going.

Me, neither.

In that case, Sergeant,
take them out
and shoot them.

I changed my mind.

Save me a seat!

Excuse me.

Do you know which way is north?

Yes.

Oh!

Yussa, get her.

Come with me.
There is a way
out of here.

That's fine, but
she's not going with us.

Don't be foolish.
She is our ticket
to escape.

Go ahead, shoot me.

Oh, I will.
Unless you can stop me.

Let's see.

Here.

You need some help.

Jacques!

Drop it.

Hello, sailor.
Drop it.

That felt good!

Come, liebchen.

Never!
We'll make our escape.

"When I am dead, my dearest

"Sing no sad songs for me

"Plant thou no roses at my head

"Nor shady cypress tree

"Be the green grass above me

"With showers and dewdrops wet

"And if thou wilt, remember

"And if thou wilt, forget."

Jacques!

Jacques!

That's it.
No more Mr. Nice Guy.

Yesterday morning,
princess Yasmin of Lugash

was rescued from her kidnappers

by Detective Inspector
First Class
Jacques Clouseau, Jr.,

the son of France's
greatest detective.

As for Detective First Class
Inspector Clouseau, Jr.,

the latest medical bulletin
has him doing well,

and his doctor expects him
to be back on duty
in a matter of a few weeks.

Sooner. Hello!

You're looking better.
Thank you.

Darling,
Charles and I have
something to tell you.

You're getting married.

How did you know?

I know because
I am a great detective.

Right, Dad?

Who was that?

Here's the champagne.

To you.

What are you doing?
Jacques.

You silly boy.
The bouquet!

The bouquet!
Throw the bouquet!

Mon dieu, forgive me.

Jacqueline!
I'm sorry I'm late, Mama.

Jacqueline!
Jacques, brother!

Sister!

Mama?

Charles, your head is bleeding.

Yes, you have received a beump.

Beump?

Maria.

Oh, Charles,
I planned to tell you.

I had twins.

Thank you.

You must be very proud.

Thank you.

Oh, you're adorable.

Ah! That felt good!