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1
00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:33,607
Have you ever used a video
dating service before, hon?
2
00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:35,888
No.
3
00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:37,485
Just be natural.
4
00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:39,130
Talk about yourself,
what you like
5
00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:40,440
because don't worry about it.
6
00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:43,086
Guy-Five-- I am the best all-male
dating service around
7
00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:44,441
because I'm gonna hook you up.
8
00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:45,885
We're gonna do
a little video of you
9
00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:48,486
and your five
hot friends here, okay?
10
00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:49,721
Because they say that we are
11
00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:52,287
a sum of our five closest friends.
Is that perfect?
12
00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:53,726
Perfect.
Okay.
13
00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:54,767
Are you ready?
14
00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:56,524
Yeah.
0kay--
15
00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:58,045
Wait, wait, wait.
Hold on.
16
00:00:58,120 --> 00:00:59,804
Hold on for a second.
17
00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:03,251
Oh, what are you doing?
What are you doing?
18
00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:04,845
You've got a cowlick, hon.
I've gotta fix that.
19
00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:05,967
No, that's h0w--
20
00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:07,405
Ow. That's how
I wear my hair
21
00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:09,016
Ooh, God,
it's so much gel.
22
00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:11,042
It's all good.
It's fine now.
23
00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:12,724
Oh, ooh, nice, sweetheart.
24
00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:14,656
Ooh, God, nice body.
25
00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:17,809
One of the perks of my job,
get to touch all the boys.
26
00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:19,056
Yummy.
27
00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:22,402
Okay, you ready?
28
00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:23,720
And, action.
29
00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:25,245
Hi, my name is Ben.
30
00:01:25,320 --> 00:01:26,526
No, no, no, n0, n0,
31
00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:28,523
let's try to be
a little more natural, honey,
32
00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:30,688
not like you got a coat hanger
stuck in your mouth.
33
00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:32,763
Okay.
34
00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:33,921
Now?
Yes.
35
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:35,376
Okay.
36
00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:38,376
Um, hi, my name is Ben.
37
00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:39,890
And...
38
00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:41,405
And I'm looking to go
on a date.
39
00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:43,608
Okay, why don't you tell
the Guy-5 viewers
40
00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:44,841
a little about yourself?
41
00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:46,763
Your stats, like your height,
weight, you know.
42
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:49,730
I'm 5'9",
43
00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:51,882
and I weigh 190 pounds.
44
00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:54,201
I have brown hair
and Blue eyes.
45
00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:55,566
I'm seven inches circumcised.
46
00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:56,801
Cut.
47
00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:58,245
Oh, I'm seven inches cut.
48
00:01:58,320 --> 00:01:59,810
No, cut the tape.
49
00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:01,803
[whispers]
Cut the tape.
50
00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:03,936
We don't tell penis size.
51
00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:05,849
Oh, you said tell statistics,
so--
52
00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:07,649
N0, no, honey,
53
00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:09,484
penis size
is a very personal thing
54
00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:11,289
that should be explored
one on one. Okay?
55
00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:13,176
Okay, gotcha.
Okay, yeah.
56
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:14,616
One on one.
57
00:02:14,640 --> 00:02:16,449
Now let's settle
58
00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:18,363
Ah, let's breathe
into the taint,
59
00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:19,566
out the balls.
60
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:22,530
Okay, let's relax and smile.
61
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:23,856
Go.
62
00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:25,245
Should I do it from
the beginning 0rjust--
63
00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:26,810
Just continue, honey,
64
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:29,042
because I'm gonna have to cut
the shit out of this laten
65
00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:32,096
Um...
66
00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:33,360
I'm an Aries.
67
00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:34,487
I don't know
what that means,
68
00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:36,722
butl like Thai food,
69
00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:37,936
comic books,
70
00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:40,576
and I'm originally
from New Jersey,
71
00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:42,682
the good part, of course,
72
00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:47,971
and I own a fitness company
with my best friend Vinnie.
73
00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:49,804
Vinnie's straight,
74
00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:53,726
but he's the closest thing
to a brother thatl have.
75
00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:57,122
We have so much in common,
actually.
76
00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:58,531
We're both from back east.
77
00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:00,364
Brooklyn all day, baby.
78
00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:03,091
We both like action films.
79
00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:08,007
He likes car chases.
I like Jason Statham.
80
00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,536
Uh, we both like chick flicks
and Lisa Loeb.
81
00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:11,925
What the fuck?
No, no we don't.
82
00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:13,929
Whoa. Would you--
you cut with the F-bombs, okay?
83
00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:15,889
Oh, I'm sorry.
Yeah, you should be sorry.
84
00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:17,041
All rig ht, now, let's go.
85
00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:18,167
Come on, Ben.
86
00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:20,004
This is my best friend,
Vinnie,
87
00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:21,047
and we own
a business togethen
88
00:03:21,120 --> 00:03:22,042
What's poppin'?
89
00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:23,121
Ben's a good QUY,
90
00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:24,690
so go on a date with him.
91
00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:28,845
Okay, these are my friends
James and Sara.
92
00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:29,887
[whispering]
93
00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:33,163
James and Sara.
94
00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:35,488
0h--
You guys should pick Ben.
95
00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:37,696
He'll be like this
all night long.
96
00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:39,927
Oh, and he's huge.
Too bad he's a bottom.
97
00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:40,723
[mouthing]
98
00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:42,484
Thank you, James and Sara.
99
00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:43,402
[mutters]
It's not true.
100
00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:44,044
[chuckles]
101
00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:46,885
And this is Callie
and Brad.
102
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,962
They just got married.
Yay, married.
103
00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:52,130
And they want to say
a few nice words on my behalf.
104
00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:54,016
Oh, yeah.
105
00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:55,804
Hello, everyone.
106
00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:58,201
Ben is such a doll.
107
00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:00,886
I love you, Ben.
Thank you.
108
00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:03,008
You're my gay boyfriend.
109
00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:03,842
[whispers]
Thanks.
110
00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:04,450
Thanks.
111
00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:05,681
Ben's a commitment-phobe.
112
00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:07,285
Cut, cut, okay.
113
00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:09,249
Whoa... hello?
114
00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:11,448
You guys are trying
to make him look like a catch,
115
00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:13,887
so let's not talk
about his commitment phobia,
116
00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:15,336
his obvious lack of personality,
117
00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:17,681
or the fact
that he uses steroids, okay?
118
00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:19,091
And F-Y-I, sweetheart,
119
00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:20,491
tops are much more in demand.
120
00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:23,166
I don't do steroids,
121
00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:25,176
and I'm not a bottom.
122
00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:26,725
[laughing]
123
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,087
I'm sure you don't, dear,
and I'm sure you aren't.
124
00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:31,288
And you need to stop telling
people
125
00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:33,010
I'm a commitment-phobe
when it's not true.
126
00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:35,656
But, it is true.
It's not true.
127
00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:36,966
Yes, it is.
128
00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:38,485
Callie, tell them
its not true.
129
00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:41,286
Ha!
130
00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:42,930
Dude, let's be honest, Ben.
131
00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:44,161
You can't even commit
to keeping your furniture
132
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:45,162
in the same spot.
133
00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:46,321
That's ridiculous.
134
00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:48,336
Uh, no, not in the slightest,
actually,
135
00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:49,736
because every time we come
to your apartment,
136
00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:51,171
the furniture's been moved.
137
00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:52,401
You rearranged it.
138
00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:54,164
Yeah, its nice.
139
00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:55,571
This is feng shui.
140
00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:56,687
Oh, yeah.
141
00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:01,210
Oh, you rearranged it again.
142
00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:02,281
It's nice.
143
00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:04,408
Yeah, this is
for ergonomic reasons.
144
00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:05,527
Ah.
[clucks tongue]
145
00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:08,643
Are you kidding me?
146
00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:10,563
Now, this is nice.
147
00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:13,246
Yeah, I saw this on HGW
148
00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:15,607
Okay, that probably
wasn't the best example.
149
00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:17,364
Aw, honey.
150
00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:20,205
Okay, these are really cute
tidbits of information,
151
00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:22,328
and I want to put
rusty forks in my eyes,
152
00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:24,336
so why don't wejust,
you kn0w--
153
00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:25,600
I've got deadlines,
154
00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:27,011
and I have to make
six other tapes here,
155
00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:28,376
so we don'twejustskip
your friends,
156
00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:29,976
and you could just tell us
who you are,
157
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:31,331
where you're from,
and what you like, okay, Ben?
158
00:05:31,520 --> 00:05:34,251
Oh, 0h, butl wanted--
Girl, you are so done. Thank you.
159
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:35,561
Okay, yeah.
160
00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:36,801
And you, please, just go.
161
00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:37,881
Let's get a step on it.
162
00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:39,216
Whoo!
163
00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:41,402
'Cause I've got a camel toe
and a yeast infection.
164
00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:42,720
I gotta get out of here, 'kay?
165
00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:45,041
Hi, my name is Ben.
166
00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:46,256
I'm 35.
167
00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:47,930
I'm originally
from New Jersey.
168
00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:49,096
I'm single.
169
00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:50,096
I like camping.
170
00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:51,167
I'm more of a dog person,
171
00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:52,480
enjoy comic books.
172
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:54,483
I'm looking for another guy
like myself,
173
00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:56,289
and if any of sounds
appealing to you,
174
00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:57,725
please respond to my ad.
175
00:05:57,800 --> 00:05:59,484
Thank you.
176
00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:01,284
All rig ht. See, that is something
I can work with.
177
00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:03,044
Thank you.
You have any Monistat around?
178
00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:10,645
[Callie]
What is going on with you?
179
00:06:10,840 --> 00:06:14,367
What ever happened with that video
dating thing you were doing?
180
00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:16,602
No, I cancelled that so fast.
181
00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:20,002
I mean, I guess I met some
interesting guys from there,
182
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,606
but mostly just losers.
183
00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:23,761
Let's see.
184
00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:26,411
Oh, when you left,
rememberl was dating Roy?
185
00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:28,050
Roy?
186
00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:29,201
Yeah, you remember--
187
00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:32,090
my build, the brown hair,
the website designer
188
00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:33,525
Oh, Roy, yeah.
189
00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:35,170
So we're dating
for about a month,
190
00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:37,203
and then he had to go
on this business trip to Thailand,
191
00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:39,448
so the whole time he's there,
he's calling me,
192
00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:41,816
sending me e-mails, postcards,
193
00:06:41,840 --> 00:06:43,171
telling me
how much he misses me.
194
00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:44,810
"Benny, I can't wait
to come back home."
195
00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:46,291
So he comes back
to the States, and then...
196
00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:47,456
I got to tell you...
197
00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:49,005
While I was in Thailand,
198
00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:51,242
I realized thatThai men,
199
00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:54,847
they're so much deeper
and more spiritual
200
00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:57,082
then white men.
201
00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:00,811
So I can't date you anymore.
202
00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:02,120
You can't?
203
00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:03,361
Well, you're white...
204
00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:05,336
and shallow.
205
00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:08,091
Butl really really want us
to be friends.
206
00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:09,764
[Ben]
There was Shane.
207
00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:12,176
Flex your biceps for me?
208
00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:13,645
Can I what?
209
00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:16,490
Flex for me, baby.
210
00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:18,324
[panting]
211
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:19,890
Seriously?
212
00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:23,601
Yeah, it'll really turn me on.
213
00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:25,808
I-- yeah I guess.
214
00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:29,643
Oh, man...
215
00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:31,165
that's so hot.
216
00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:37,721
Oh, my God.
217
00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:39,609
Oh.
218
00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:41,808
Oh!
219
00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:43,609
Oh, my God.
220
00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:45,921
[moaning]
221
00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:49,688
[panting]
222
00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:55,842
Are you fucking
kidding me?
223
00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:59,970
No, that was so hot.
Ijust shot my load.
224
00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:01,883
You didn't even touch
yourself.
225
00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:05,328
I know, right?
226
00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:08,336
I'm really into muscle worship.
227
00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:13,536
Yeah, that's great for you,
but what about me?
228
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:16,689
Oh, well...
229
00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:18,649
you can still fuck me.
230
00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:23,216
Um, I d0n'tthinkl have
any lube, though.
231
00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:24,765
Hold on a second.
232
00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:30,486
Ic0uldn't find any lube,
233
00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:32,927
but I found some shampoo
thatl rubbed in my ass.
234
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:34,525
I think it'll be totally fine.
235
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:37,763
Um, I don't think so.
236
00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:39,365
Oh.
237
00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:41,044
Oh.
238
00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:42,087
Oh, my God.
239
00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:43,127
Oh, my God, the shampoo
240
00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:44,326
Oh, my god.
241
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:46,536
Oh, my God.
Fuck, that burns.
242
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:47,576
[water running]
243
00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:49,648
[Sighs]
244
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:53,286
Hello?
245
00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:55,010
[Ben]
Then there was Tom.
246
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:57,362
We were dating for a few weeks,
and he told me...
247
00:08:57,520 --> 00:08:59,416
I haven't had sex
since my ex boyfriend
248
00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:01,329
ran out on me
eight months ago.
249
00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:02,925
I'm sorry.
250
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,570
But I'm negative.
251
00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:06,085
Here's my paperwork.
252
00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:09,881
Um, I'm negative, too.
253
00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:11,849
Do you always carry this
around with you?
254
00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:13,968
I don't mean to be forward,
255
00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:15,804
but since we're both negative
256
00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:17,689
and I haven't had sex
in eight months,
257
00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:21,082
could we have sex right now?
258
00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:24,562
Tom, if you haven't had sex
in eight months,
259
00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:27,530
why the hell is there
a used condom on the floor?
260
00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,489
That's from eight months ago.
261
00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:33,724
Yeah, eight months.
262
00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:35,456
Did you touch it?
263
00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:37,562
It's dry as a bone.
Go on, touch it.
264
00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:38,846
Hold on to it.
[chuckles]
265
00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:41,696
I'm not gonna play CSI
with your used condom.
266
00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:42,687
You know what?
267
00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:44,683
I betl know what happened.
268
00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:46,410
I bet Butch brought it
in from outside,
269
00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:47,811
didn't you?
270
00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:49,928
Bad dog!
271
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,936
You think your dog
dragged that in?
272
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:55,976
Wait.
[laughs]
273
00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:58,376
I lied.
274
00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:01,165
I had sex a week ago.
275
00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:03,447
Tom, I was here a week ago.
276
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,966
0kaY---
277
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:07,451
two days ago.
278
00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:09,284
I was here last night.
279
00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:11,856
Okay, two hours ago.
280
00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:13,530
Can you please forgive me?
281
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,445
Oh, sick.
282
00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:24,931
Wait, what are you
talking about?
283
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,081
Condom?
284
00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:31,776
I don't see any condom.
285
00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:34,041
Good dog, Butchie Wutchie.
286
00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:36,890
Can we have sex now?
287
00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:40,009
Oh my God,
the dog ate the condom?
288
00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:42,481
Oh, that is so fucking gross.
289
00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:44,164
I know, it's nasty, right?
290
00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:47,496
Wow, those are
some bad dates.
291
00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:49,204
No wonder you quit
the service.
292
00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:51,896
Well, Sara and James
are gonna come over laten
293
00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:53,046
They're going to help me
place this--
294
00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:55,009
I don't kn0w--
Internet ad thing.
295
00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:57,082
Really?
Well that'll be fun.
296
00:10:57,160 --> 00:10:58,889
And, you know, I was thinking.
297
00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:00,405
If that doesn't work out,
298
00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:03,290
I can always set you up
with my hairstylistTodd.
299
00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:05,601
Uh, let me think about that.
Hell no.
300
00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:06,806
Why not?
301
00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:08,245
He's nice, has a good job.
302
00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:10,288
He's a flamer,
and he's a big girl.
303
00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:13,011
Haven't we talked about
your internalized homophobia?
304
00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:15,003
Internalized homophobia.
305
00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:17,082
Log Cabin Republicans.
306
00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:18,650
Listen,
I'm comfortable with it.
307
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,324
Ijust don't wanna sleep
with it.
308
00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:21,526
Just-- You have to tell me
309
00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:23,682
how this whole Internet
dating thing goes.
310
00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:24,921
Well, you know I will.
311
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,696
And, I mean, James uses it
312
00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:28,722
and it seems to work for him,
so...
313
00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:31,201
Okay, Benny,
314
00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:32,736
you know I want
the best for you,
315
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:34,171
but you also have to remember
316
00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:36,925
thatJames is a slut
that tells everyone he's bi.
317
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:39,241
Bi, Bisexual,
put that you're a Bi.
318
00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:40,526
Dom alpha male.
319
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,443
Hung big and thick.
Ooh, yeah, thick.
320
00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:44,090
Beer-can thick.
Seven inches.
321
00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:46,003
Ew, eight.
Well, Internet inches.
322
00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:48,248
Likes it rough.
Wants to hit it from the B side.
323
00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:50,243
Bubble butt.
Round and juicy.
324
00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:51,481
Oh, total dom top.
325
00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:54,040
Hey, James,
this is a dating ad.
326
00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:55,690
It's not
some nasty sex thing.
327
00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:57,410
Ew, Sara said it, too.
328
00:11:57,480 --> 00:11:59,130
Guys, I'm placing this ad
for a date,
329
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:01,680
so I'm not listing beer can,
big and juicy,
330
00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:03,936
thick and bubble
whatever else it was.
331
00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:05,246
Okay, okay,
what about being a Bi?
332
00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:06,367
[Ben]
No.
333
00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:07,771
Oh, God, you're never
going to get laid.
334
00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:09,251
Here, just let me type it
for you.
335
00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:11,044
No, absolutely not.
Hey James, can you type this?
336
00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:12,770
Is this doing it for you?
Whoo.
337
00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:14,041
Whoo. You both really need
some therapy.
338
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:15,326
Are you straight yet?
339
00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:19,970
You spazzin' out, man.
340
00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:21,849
You placed
a personal ad online?
341
00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:23,056
What's wrong with that?
342
00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:24,411
A lot of people use
the Internet to date.
343
00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:25,606
Yeah, lots of losers.
344
00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:27,682
No, not losers.
345
00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:30,286
People who are just too busy
or can't go to the bars.
346
00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:32,767
Yeah, because they're defective,
i.e. losers. You know what?
347
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,167
Sara and James helped me
place that ad, and you know what?
348
00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:37,931
I'm not defective,
and I'm definitely not a losen
349
00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:39,411
Opinions vary.
350
00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:40,970
And why are you listening
to those two?
351
00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:42,530
It sounds
like s0meone's jealous
352
00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:44,967
because I have friends
and, frankly, you don't.
353
00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:47,247
Yes, I am jealous of that.
354
00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:49,016
Be nice, okay?
355
00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:50,416
Those guys are my friends.
356
00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:53,171
All rig ht.
357
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:55,856
You know, I'm actually planning
on meeting some of these guys
358
00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:57,325
from my ad this weekend.
359
00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:58,731
Have fun, man.
360
00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:01,041
What? They sounded nice.
361
00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:02,246
On the phone?
362
00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:04,096
Ben, you placed the ad,
like, an hour ago.
363
00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:05,690
No, via e-mail.
364
00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:08,366
This Internet dating,
it's really fast.
365
00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:11,603
Look, there's two requirements
for the broads I meet.
366
00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:14,650
0ne-- they must want
to suck my dick,
367
00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:17,690
and two--
they need to go ass to mouth.
368
00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:19,046
Swallowing is optional.
369
00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:21,441
Wow, that is
a charming checklist.
370
00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:22,816
Hey, d0n'tjudge me.
I get laid.
371
00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:24,285
You jerk off.
'Nuff said.
372
00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:32,285
Hey, are you Ben?
373
00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:34,169
Yeah, are you Joseph?
374
00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:37,164
Yeah, but everyone
calls me Jojo.
375
00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:38,969
Jojo.
376
00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:42,567
You are so cute.
377
00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:44,927
Okay, Jojo?
378
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,047
How old are you?
379
00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:48,248
Twenty-six.
380
00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:50,576
Twenty-two?
381
00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:52,170
Seventeen.
382
00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:57,402
Here's the chicken...
383
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:03,049
and the steak.
384
00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:05,407
Mm.
385
00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:07,767
Nothing like rare meat.
386
00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:08,841
Nope.
387
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:12,045
So, you wanna play
head to head?
388
00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:13,485
Excuse me?
389
00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:15,767
On PS3.
390
00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:17,524
What's your user ID?
391
00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:19,404
I don't even know what that is.
Oh, come on.
392
00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:20,721
My mom said
you could come over
393
00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:22,006
after our date
if you wanna play.
394
00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:23,320
Your mom.
395
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:24,526
Well, yeah.
396
00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:26,921
I mean I live
in the basement.
397
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:27,967
She's not even
gonna bother us
398
00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:29,201
unless she's doing
my laundry.
399
00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:34,656
Um, in your photo you--
400
00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:36,967
youlooked
a little bit different.
401
00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:38,724
This is the real me, though.
402
00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:40,370
I hope you don't mind.
403
00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:43,096
I'm pre-op,
will have the surgery soon.
404
00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:45,248
Oh, I think
that's great for you.
405
00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:49,006
I do, but that's just not
really my thing.
406
00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:52,050
[laughs]
Oh, thank God.
407
00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:55,329
You're not my type either,
sweetie.
408
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:57,368
Dessert?
No.
409
00:14:57,440 --> 00:14:59,363
Pre-op.
410
00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:02,121
Post-op.
411
00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:04,816
Hi.
412
00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:06,410
Woof.
413
00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:08,005
What?
414
00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:09,081
Woof.
415
00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:15,966
Woof?
416
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,696
Oh, I know,
who says that, rig ht?
417
00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:18,960
I'm over Internet dating.
418
00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:20,096
You fool me once.
419
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,361
Seriously, can't you go
to a bar
420
00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:23,965
and get laid like
a normal gay?
421
00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:25,326
Oh, a normal gay?
422
00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:26,936
This isn't about sex.
423
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,564
James, you meet
a lot of guys online.
424
00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:30,376
How come this never happens
to you?
425
00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:32,243
Let me set you up.
426
00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:33,376
No.
427
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:34,890
At least you'd be getting laid
428
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:36,200
if you IetJames here
set you up.
429
00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:37,441
Thank you.
430
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:38,726
Oh, yeah,
I'd be getting laid.
431
00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:40,245
No offense, James,
432
00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:42,656
but you've seen his version
ofacceptable men.
433
00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:44,284
It's back hair
and bad breath.
434
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:46,456
You'll take anything
connected to a cock.
435
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:49,802
Steam room cruiser,
schlobbing the knob.
436
00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:51,096
[howls]
437
00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:53,043
Listen. A cock is a cock.
438
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:54,246
I am not marrying these guys.
439
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:55,446
We're just getting off
togethen
440
00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:56,646
That's it.
441
00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:57,846
I can't do that.
442
00:15:57,920 --> 00:15:59,160
I need some sort of mental
connection.
443
00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:00,844
You are such a girl.
444
00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:02,763
Sara, can youjump in
and help me out here?
445
00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:04,171
Sorry, buddy.
446
00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:05,810
Sex isn't that taboo
with me either
447
00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:08,884
I mean, if they want anal,
it's gotta be love,
448
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:11,042
but I don't mind jerking
a guy off
449
00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:12,963
and I don't have hang-ups
like you.
450
00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:14,296
I don't have hang-ups.
451
00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:14,366
I don't have hang-ups.
452
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:17,125
[typing]
Single male.
453
00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:25,561
Bisexual with girlfriend
out of town.
454
00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:32,202
I cannot put that I'm bisexual.
455
00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:35,376
This is ridiculous.
456
00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:39,176
[cell phone rings]
457
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:40,770
Hello.
458
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:42,644
[Ca/lie]
I just met the cutest guy for you.
459
00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:44,251
I was at Trader Joe 's.
I'm walking down the aisle--
460
00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:46,766
No.
I didn't finish.
461
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,490
No.
Why not?
462
00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:49,686
Callie, your set ups
are always nightmares.
463
00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:51,125
No, they aren 't.
464
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:53,248
You're crazy,
and you're way too picky
465
00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:54,526
Oh, really?
466
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:56,096
How about you remember
when you set me up
467
00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:57,451
with Lupe the choreographer?
468
00:16:57,520 --> 00:16:59,249
He was hot.
469
00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:00,936
Callie, you have this idea
470
00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:02,121
that just because
we're both gay,
471
00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:03,486
we're gonna get along.
472
00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:05,050
And then there was
that other guy,
473
00:17:05,120 --> 00:17:06,336
what was his name,
the agent?
474
00:17:06,360 --> 00:17:09,170
John, he was cute,
and he was built.
475
00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:12,130
Built? Those were man boobs,
not pecs,
476
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:14,009
and cute is
for bunny rabbits, not men.
477
00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:16,216
Oh, and what about Massimo?
478
00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:17,241
That dude was straight.
479
00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:19,084
Not from whatl hear.
480
00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:21,208
Oh, that's my call waiting.
481
00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:22,361
I gotta go.
It's my mom.
482
00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:23,566
I/ove you.
483
00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:24,656
I love you, too.
484
00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:25,841
Bye.
485
00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:29,531
[doorbell rings]
486
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,411
Hi.
487
00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:39,736
You look cuter
than your picture.
488
00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:40,807
Excuse me?
489
00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:44,407
From online, dude.
It's me, H0rsehung78.
490
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:45,641
Guess what?
491
00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:46,801
I'm not wearing underwean
492
00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:48,616
What the hell
are you talking about?
493
00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:50,563
Oh, don't be shy.
494
00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:51,721
You weren't in the chat room,
495
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:54,246
M: "I wanna eatyourass
all day l0ng."
496
00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:55,890
I have not been
in a chat room.
497
00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:57,530
Look, my girlfriend's
waiting for me.
498
00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:59,887
She's expecting me home
in an hour,
499
00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:01,246
and from the looks of it,
500
00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:03,800
you're packing eight inches,
just like you said.
501
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:05,769
Let me in,
and I'll blow you.
502
00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:07,968
Listen, I think there's been
a mistake.
503
00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:09,769
Is your name Ben?
504
00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:11,330
Yeah.
505
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:14,324
Then there's "Ben" no mistake.
506
00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:16,482
This is really awkward.
507
00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:17,776
Come on.
What do you want?
508
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:19,086
You want a hand job?
509
00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:21,208
You want a blow job, rim job?
510
00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:23,123
You can blow me, too.
It's okay.
511
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:25,123
Oh, look, everybody says
they have a girlfriend.
512
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:26,247
It's all right.
513
00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:28,322
Now, normallyl work
as a hooker,
514
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:29,401
but you're such a hottie,
515
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:31,164
Ijust wanna do you for free.
516
00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:33,288
A hooken
Yeah.
517
00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:34,725
Let's get off.
518
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:37,296
Listen, I have to go, okay?
519
00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:39,243
No, you listen.
I drove all this way.
520
00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:41,891
Now, let me in, we'll get off,
and then I'll go.
521
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:44,281
No, I don't think so.
I'm sorry, I have to go.
522
00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:46,647
Just grab my cock, and then
you'll change your mind.
523
00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:47,642
No.
524
00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:48,721
Fuck!
525
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:50,404
[Sighs]
526
00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:01,484
James, what the fuck?
527
00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:02,800
[James]
What?
528
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:04,450
You know what.
529
00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:06,249
Oh, come on.
You didn't think he was hot?
530
00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:08,402
No, and that's
not even the point.
531
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,847
I'm not trying to hook up
for random sex.
532
00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:12,604
And what are you doing
going into chat rooms
533
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:13,896
using my picture?
534
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:15,524
Um, you should be thanking me,
535
00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:17,443
Its not like I kept him
for myself.
536
00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:18,806
Look, he was the hottest
one in there,
537
00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:20,120
and I did it for you, boo.
538
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:21,486
I'm a true friend.
539
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:24,450
Listen, no more surprises
at my doon
540
00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:25,965
Uh-huh. Okay.
541
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:28,327
No, I'm serious.
No more.
542
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:30,016
Listen, I'm pissed off.
543
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:32,520
I'm just gonna go.
Go where?
544
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:34,250
I'm a busy guy.
I've got stuff to do.
545
00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:36,256
I've gotta water my plants,
and run errands.
546
00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:38,656
Okay, lesbian.
547
00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:41,524
Oh, but hey, do you mind
if I call Horsehung78?
548
00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:43,762
I hate to see a good thing
go to waste.
549
00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:46,161
No, you can have him.
Goodbye.
550
00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:47,366
Bye.
551
00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:08,281
I saw the hottest Cro-Mag
run by my house today.
552
00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:09,811
Oh, yeah?
Did you say anything to him?
553
00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:12,121
No, he just ran by.
I chickened out.
554
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:14,009
I c0uldn'tjust yell, "Hey."
555
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:15,496
Why not?
556
00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:17,284
Because you know
that's not my style.
557
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:25,536
Okay, what the fuck
is going on with your neck?
558
00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:28,450
What?
Your neck, dude.
559
00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:29,442
You got a hickey.
560
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:30,806
What?
561
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:32,609
Oh, fucking Amber, dude.
562
00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:34,176
I'm so pissed, she clamped
onto me like a vacuum.
563
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:35,565
I couldn't get her off.
564
00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:36,926
You couldn't get her off?
565
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:39,162
She's five foot.
She weighs, what, 85 pounds?
566
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:41,891
I'm telling you, bro.
She had me in this position.
567
00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:44,056
And then she goes up to me
and she says...
568
00:20:44,080 --> 00:20:47,527
[laughing]
569
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:50,604
Now everyone will know
that you have a girlfriend.
570
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:51,920
Oh, a girlfriend?
571
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,365
What are you talkin' about,
a girlfriend?
572
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:56,330
You are marked now,
and you are mine.
573
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:58,289
Get the fuck outta here.
[laughing]
574
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:02,086
[squeals]
575
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:04,681
[laughing]
576
00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:06,649
You wanna play?
All right, that's it.
577
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:07,767
That's it.
[la ug hing]
578
00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:11,528
Oh, she's
yourgirlfriend now?
579
00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:13,887
Yeah, I guess so,
but she's fuckin' crazy.
580
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:15,644
Oh, well I think it's sweet
that you've been branded.
581
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:17,051
All right, enough, enough.
582
00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:18,360
What are you doing tonight?
583
00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:20,656
Callie's gonna come oven
You wanna stop by.
584
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,887
No, I'm watching
a movie with Amber
585
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:26,245
I'm sorry,
but you're pussy whipped.
586
00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:27,924
She's got you
in the cobra clutch.
587
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:30,282
Listen, bro, ifl can see
one of these chick flicks with her,
588
00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:31,771
and I actually pretend
to like it,
589
00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:33,336
she lets me fuck her
in the ass.
590
00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:35,124
Oh, you are a gentleman,
aren't you?
591
00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:36,690
Yeah, in the ass.
592
00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:52,049
[water whooshes]
593
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:05,723
[Six Million Dollar Man
sound effect]
594
00:22:35,360 --> 00:22:37,886
You know, you are stalking him
from your own front lawn.
595
00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:39,166
You know that, right?
596
00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:41,049
I know.
597
00:22:41,120 --> 00:22:43,441
You rearranged
your furniture again.
598
00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:44,885
I know.
599
00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:49,443
Okay, you just have to say
hello next time.
600
00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:51,329
I know.
601
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:53,209
You should move it
back to the way it was.
602
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:54,486
This looks terrible.
603
00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:55,800
I know.
604
00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:58,929
What is--
are you in another world?
605
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:00,923
Can I tell you guys
how cute he is?
606
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:02,001
Did I tell you?
607
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:04,367
Aw.
He's so cute.
608
00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:05,930
I can't get him
out of my brain.
609
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:08,936
Jesus, stop being
such a pussy
610
00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:10,371
and go say hi to him.
611
00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:11,566
You obviously know exactly
612
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:13,642
when he runs
by your house every day.
613
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:16,610
Yeah.
Creepy.
614
00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:17,727
I know.
615
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:24,607
Oh, M: Runner man,
come on by.
616
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:26,682
You guys,
this is not subtle.
617
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:28,330
He's totally gonna know
this is not a coincidence
618
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:29,561
if the two of you
are out here.
619
00:23:29,640 --> 00:23:31,927
Oh, you've been lurking
out here for a week,
620
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:33,889
[clucks tongue]
I think he knows already.
621
00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:36,930
Sara, please take
your popcorn inside.
622
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:38,604
No.
Listen, Chomps-a-lot,
623
00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:40,489
you are not helping
things any.
624
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:44,086
Oh, here he comes.
625
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:45,400
Don't look.
Don't look.
626
00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:46,736
Oh, my gosh,
he's so cute.
627
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:47,966
Oh, he is really cute.
628
00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:49,201
Don't look.
Don't look.
629
00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:51,442
Say hi to him.
Say hi to him.
630
00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:54,126
Hey, nice ass.
You're hot.
631
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:55,216
My friend thinks you're cute.
632
00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:56,924
He's single.
633
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:58,047
Bye.
634
00:23:58,120 --> 00:24:00,009
He waved back.
He waved back.
635
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:02,447
What is wrong with you?
636
00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:04,456
Ben, he's really cute.
637
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:05,766
You two suck.
638
00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:07,285
Grow some balls.
He's cute.
639
00:24:07,360 --> 00:24:08,696
Yeah, we're helping you.
640
00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:10,496
We're trying
to play matchmaken
641
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:12,296
That was definitely
not helping me,
642
00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:14,243
and it was not playing
matchmaker
643
00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:16,561
No, because
ifwe'd have played matchmaker,
644
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:19,211
you'd be talking
to him and not us.
645
00:24:21,360 --> 00:24:24,284
N ['70s soul]
646
00:24:24,360 --> 00:24:27,364
[phone rings]
647
00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:30,367
Hey.
648
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:31,616
[Ca/lie]
Hey Lover.
649
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:32,926
What you doing?
650
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:36,083
Going for a drink with Foxy.
Wanna come out?
651
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:38,367
Or are you still sitting
on your lawn stalking--
652
00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:40,807
I mean, watering your plants?
653
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:42,484
No bitch,
I'm in for the night.
654
00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:43,721
I'm about to go to bed.
655
00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:45,689
Is that music I hear?
656
00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:47,683
Were you about to jerk off?
657
00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:49,444
No.
II [stops]
658
00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:51,010
Loser, you total/y were.
659
00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:53,242
You probably have
a candle burning.
660
00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:56,976
No, I don't have
a candle burning.
661
00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:59,176
Okay, go drown yourself
in your own cum.
662
00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:01,009
You know what?
Kill yourself.
663
00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:03,731
Okay, I'll call you
tomorrow, stalker.
664
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:05,768
Night.
665
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:10,923
I'm gonna call Ben
and fuck with him.
666
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:18,810
Get off of your lawn.
667
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:22,136
I'm not even on my lawn.
668
00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:23,321
Yeah, you are.
669
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:24,536
I can hear the cars
670
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:25,891
driving back and forth
in the background.
671
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:27,166
I'm hanging up now.
672
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:28,651
Lose:
673
00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:30,768
Stalker
674
00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:31,921
Good-bye.
675
00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:35,441
[whispering]
Just say hi.
676
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:36,289
Just say hi.
677
00:25:36,360 --> 00:25:38,169
Just say hi.
Just say--
678
00:25:39,360 --> 00:25:40,850
Jesus Christ.
679
00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:46,324
Oh, my God.
680
00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:47,561
What the fuck was that?
681
00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:49,688
I am so sorry.
682
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:51,842
Ithinkl missed the lawn.
683
00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:53,096
You think?
Really?
684
00:25:53,120 --> 00:25:55,336
I am really, really sorry.
685
00:25:55,360 --> 00:25:57,124
Are you now?
686
00:25:57,200 --> 00:26:00,336
I'm sort of sorry.
687
00:26:00,360 --> 00:26:02,976
Hi, I'm Grey.
688
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:04,331
I'm-- I'm Ben.
689
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:07,324
So do you spray down everyone
with your hose?
690
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:08,731
No.
691
00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:10,689
No, I don't know
what that was.
692
00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:12,922
It was, like,
out of control.
693
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:15,480
You could havejust said hi
any day this week.
694
00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:16,641
What are you talking about?
695
00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:20,167
Well, the other day,
you and your friends.
696
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:21,366
What?
697
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:24,096
You, two girls,
bowl of popcorn.
698
00:26:24,120 --> 00:26:26,009
[laughing]
699
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:28,242
Id0n't-- um... yeah.
700
00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:32,683
You know,
you're cute when you blush?
701
00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:34,000
Now, I'm not blushing.
702
00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:35,776
That's sunburn.
703
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:37,165
Right, sunburn
from all the days
704
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:38,765
you've spent
out in your yard stalking me.
705
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:40,205
Stalking you?
706
00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:43,602
No, no,
I didn't even notice you.
707
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:46,445
My lawn is dry--
Do you wanna just go out
708
00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:47,806
and get dinner
one of these nights, or what?
709
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:51,924
Yeah, I would like
that actually.
710
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:53,650
Um, tonight?
711
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:55,290
Sure, tonight,
now you're forward.
712
00:26:55,360 --> 00:26:57,044
You know, I had to run
past your house for weeks
713
00:26:57,120 --> 00:26:58,296
just to try to get
your attention.
714
00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:00,129
No.
Yeah.
715
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:01,690
Nice
716
00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:03,808
So tonight, 6:OO-ish?
717
00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:05,041
Yeah, 6:OO-ish.
718
00:27:05,120 --> 00:27:06,565
All right, tonight.
719
00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:08,176
Tonight.
Bye, pup.
720
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:09,565
Bye.
721
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:24,288
So do you have
any brothers or sisters?
722
00:27:24,360 --> 00:27:26,647
Two. Two sisters.
723
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:29,530
Both married, kids, picket
fence, whole nine yards.
724
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:30,522
You?
725
00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:32,284
I do.
I have one sister
726
00:27:32,360 --> 00:27:33,486
She's 18 months older,
727
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:35,722
has a little boy
and a little girl.
728
00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:37,536
Very nice.
Yeah.
729
00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:40,689
Wow. You don't want kids,
do you?
730
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:43,127
I don't know.
I might.
731
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:44,776
I like them.
I think they're fun.
732
00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:46,086
Why, are you scared?
733
00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:48,811
No, it's--
734
00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:49,881
I don't know.
I just--
735
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:51,325
I like kids.
736
00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:53,641
Ijust like to be able to give
them back when I'm done.
737
00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:56,405
I guess Ijust like my life
the way it is right now.
738
00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:58,056
So, are you scared yet?
739
00:27:58,080 --> 00:27:59,570
No.
740
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:02,883
Um, all time favorite food.
Go.
741
00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:04,803
That's easy.
It's pizza.
742
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:06,644
Hands down,
the best cheat food.
743
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:07,687
Me, too,
744
00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:09,336
except for olives.
745
00:28:09,360 --> 00:28:11,681
I don't like olives either
746
00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:12,807
That's freaky.
747
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:16,726
Cool. Okay, let's see.
748
00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:22,168
How old do you think you were
when you knew you were gay?
749
00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:26,086
Oh, wow, um.
I was young.
750
00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:28,766
I used to love
action figures,
751
00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:31,411
so I'd send them all
into battle,
752
00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:34,080
butl never wanted the buff
male heroes to get hurt
753
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:37,496
so I'd always send
the princess in first.
754
00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:39,682
And then in battle she died,
755
00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:42,336
so I took a pair ofscissors
and snipped offher head.
756
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:43,936
That's a pretty harsh sentence
for an action figure,
757
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:45,246
don't you think?
758
00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:47,129
Yeah, I mean my parents
were pissed,
759
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:49,089
but I gave her a burial
and buried her
760
00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:50,167
in the backyard.
761
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:53,210
Well, sometimes
the bitch has to die.
762
00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:54,850
Exactly.
763
00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:56,816
So I guess I always knew,
764
00:28:56,840 --> 00:28:58,808
or, I don't know,
I knew I was different.
765
00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:00,166
What about you?
766
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:03,289
Me, um, I don't know,
767
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:06,330
I was like 1O or 11 maybe,
768
00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:09,296
however old you are
in fifih grade,
769
00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:11,527
and we were all lined up
to go see the school nurse,
770
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:15,725
and, you know, get the whole turn
your head and cough thing.
771
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:20,602
We were in our underwear,
and I got hard.
772
00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:23,844
So for the next five years,
all I ever heard was,
773
00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:25,809
"Grey popped a bonen"
774
00:29:25,880 --> 00:29:27,769
Yeah, thanks
for laughing, thanks.
775
00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:29,842
I'm sorry.
776
00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:31,081
It pretty much made school
a living hell,
777
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:32,525
but, you know...
778
00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:34,762
Yikes.
779
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:38,162
So what do you do for work?
780
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:41,767
I own a fitness boot camp
with my best friend.
781
00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:44,281
Nice, you get to scream and yell
at people all day long.
782
00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:47,364
No, it's definitely
not like that.
783
00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:48,680
What about you?
784
00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:53,527
Me?I am project manager
for a designing firm.
785
00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:56,968
All right,
so I have to ask you.
786
00:29:57,040 --> 00:29:59,566
It's an odd question,
but you are single, yes?
787
00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:01,816
Definitely, yeah.
You?
788
00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:04,650
Yes. I mean, you have to ask
these days, right?
789
00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:07,246
I hearyou.
I hearyou.
790
00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:08,685
So how long
you been single for?
791
00:30:08,760 --> 00:30:10,967
Four years.
792
00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:12,201
Four years, Jesus.
793
00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:13,327
Why so long?
794
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:16,496
I mean, okay,
you're decent looking,
795
00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:17,965
and you're fairly funny,
so...
796
00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:19,804
Oh, fairly funny?
797
00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:22,042
I don't want to over-inflate
your ego just yet.
798
00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:23,042
I gotta sit here all night.
799
00:30:23,120 --> 00:30:25,168
Fair enough.
800
00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:27,336
Um...
801
00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:32,082
fouryears ago
Iwas dating a guy...
802
00:30:32,160 --> 00:30:36,848
and he was HIV positive,
but he didn't know it.
803
00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:40,242
He caught pneumonia,
and three weeks later he died.
804
00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:46,451
Three weeks.
Jesus, that is fast.
805
00:30:48,360 --> 00:30:50,044
The whole thing
just tore me up.
806
00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:52,202
It broke my heart.
807
00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:55,124
The thought of being intimate
or having sex with someone
808
00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:57,168
was just the furthest thing
from my mind.
809
00:30:57,240 --> 00:30:58,810
That's rough.
810
00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:01,611
[mutters]
I mean... yeah, rough.
811
00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:02,681
The worst part of it all
812
00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:06,321
was as sad as I was for him,
813
00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:07,731
at the end all
I kept thinking was,
814
00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:09,245
"Thank God I'm negative."
815
00:31:09,320 --> 00:31:10,560
How sick is that?
816
00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:12,688
Yeah, it's...
817
00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:15,166
I can only imagine.
818
00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:17,641
I mean, that's just--
that's intense.
819
00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:24,811
Enough of this story.
820
00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:27,360
It's not a first-date story.
821
00:31:27,440 --> 00:31:29,336
Um, what about you?
822
00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:32,091
How long have you been single
and why?
823
00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:36,976
I've been single
a couple years now.
824
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:38,126
I broke up with my ex
825
00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:39,804
because we basically
couldn't stand to be
826
00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:41,086
in the same room together
827
00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:42,446
We fought constantly,
828
00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:44,124
and his idea of fun
829
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:46,646
was going out for a weekend
and not coming back
830
00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:48,370
until Monday morning.
831
00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:50,249
I'm kind of the type
who sits at home
832
00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:54,370
and watches TVand has a been
833
00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:56,681
I guess Ijust got it all out
when I was youngen
834
00:31:56,760 --> 00:31:58,649
I was pretty sexually
adventurous,
835
00:31:58,720 --> 00:32:00,643
and, I don't know.
836
00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:04,136
I guess Ijust don't
really date anymore.
837
00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:05,736
And why is that?
838
00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:08,001
Well, whenever it came time
839
00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:10,481
for the tough stuff
in a relationship,
840
00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:13,576
itjust became too hard,
so I don't do it.
841
00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:15,443
Ijust have sex.
842
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:17,522
Wow, well this is a date.
843
00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:20,046
No, this is hanging out.
844
00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:22,248
I'm gonna call this a date.
845
00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:23,765
Whatever, pup.
846
00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:28,004
All right, what is
this little nickname, "pup"?
847
00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:31,402
I don't know,
but it suits you, I think.
848
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:33,687
I might like it.
849
00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:37,766
Good.
850
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:46,321
So, it's getting late.
851
00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:48,289
Maybe I should let you
get home and get to bed.
852
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:50,931
Yeah, probably.
853
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:53,287
I had a really nice time
talking with you.
854
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:55,056
You're real easy to be around.
855
00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:57,242
Thanks, you, too.
856
00:32:57,320 --> 00:32:59,641
I would really like
to see you again.
857
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:03,207
Yeah, I'd like that too,
but--
858
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:07,441
[sighs]
1..
859
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:09,363
Ijust need to be upfront
and tell you this.
860
00:33:11,840 --> 00:33:13,683
I'm HIV positive.
861
00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:17,122
Oh, my God,
I feel like such an idiot.
862
00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:20,522
No. No, no, no,
don't do that to yourself.
863
00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:22,967
It's my issue,
it's my skeleton,
864
00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:24,804
and I'll deal with it.
865
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:26,889
Ijust want to know
if you're going to be okay with it.
866
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:31,400
I'd be lying ifl said
it didn't make me nervous,
867
00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:36,202
but I still really want
to see you again.
868
00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:37,566
Good.
869
00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:38,766
Glad to hear it.
870
00:33:38,840 --> 00:33:40,763
You know, as I get older,
871
00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:42,808
its harderand harder
to find guys
872
00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:43,927
thatl have that spark with,
873
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:46,844
that chemistry.
874
00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:48,445
I know ifl wanna see
someone a second time,
875
00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:51,046
within five seconds.
876
00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:53,376
It's just rare to meet
those guys
877
00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:56,416
that you have all those same
things in common with.
878
00:33:56,440 --> 00:33:58,602
Wanna settle down
and be monogamous.
879
00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:02,002
I have never been in a
monogamous relationship,
880
00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:04,656
and I have never been asked
to be in one.
881
00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:06,648
Are you opposed to it?
882
00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:10,896
No, but let's face it.
We're men.
883
00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:12,922
If I'm in a relationship
with a boyfriend,
884
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:15,136
and I go out and sleep
with someone else,
885
00:34:15,160 --> 00:34:18,164
it doesn't mean I care
about him any less.
886
00:34:18,240 --> 00:34:21,881
I don't get it.
I don't thinkl understand.
887
00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:23,962
We're just getting
to know each other rig ht now,
888
00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:27,089
so let's just roll with it,
okay?
889
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:30,085
Q-OkBY-
890
00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:36,256
Oh, you're so fucking gay.
You walked and talked?
891
00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:37,361
It was nice.
Gay.
892
00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:38,566
Sweet.
Homo.
893
00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:40,563
We're getting to know
each other
894
00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:43,166
Okay, Jack Twist,
did you at least hold hands?
895
00:34:43,240 --> 00:34:45,720
No, but it was two men
on a date,
896
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:47,723
so, yeah, it was gay.
897
00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:49,040
I gotta tell you, though,
898
00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:51,088
I got a serious case
of blue balls.
899
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:54,926
Serves you right for having
a Brokeback Mountain moment.
900
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:58,482
Listen, Ben, you gotta have sex
like a man does, you know?
901
00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:00,050
You gotta fuck like a man.
902
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:02,248
Oh, like a man.
903
00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:03,481
Eat a dick.
904
00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:05,050
Eat a vagina.
905
00:35:05,120 --> 00:35:08,090
So when you gonna see him
again?
906
00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:09,286
Tonight.
907
00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:11,124
Wow, two nights in a row?
908
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:12,256
That's a big commitment.
909
00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:13,441
You sure you can handle that?
910
00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:14,760
Whateven
911
00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:16,330
Hi, can I borrow that?
912
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:17,606
Yeah.
913
00:35:20,240 --> 00:35:22,447
That guy was totally
eye fucking you.
914
00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:23,965
No, he wasn't.
915
00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:25,963
He was looking
at those ridiculous shorts.
916
00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:27,963
And I'm sort of seeing
somebody.
917
00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:30,049
All rig ht, first off,
these shorts are not ridiculous.
918
00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:31,770
And two--
919
00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:33,285
going fora walk
920
00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:35,488
does not mean
that you are seeing somebody.
921
00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:37,130
Listen,
Ijust can'tjuggle men,
922
00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:39,407
and, frankly, I d0n'twantto.
923
00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:40,766
Yeah, you're a broad.
924
00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:42,171
Yeah, I'm a broad,
925
00:35:42,240 --> 00:35:43,810
and I'm done with
this conversation.
926
00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:45,803
What are you getting
into tonight?
927
00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:47,245
I don't know.
I got work,
928
00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:51,689
and then Amber
and I might have a been
929
00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:54,611
Okay, so the stripper/girlfriend,
she's still around?
930
00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:56,728
Hey, hey, stripper yes,
931
00:35:56,800 --> 00:36:00,361
but, you know, yeah,
so far so good.
932
00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:01,976
You know what you should do?
933
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:04,176
You should take your man
for a test drive tonight.
934
00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:06,376
How are we back
on this conversation?
935
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:08,323
We're not all sluts,
and he's not a can
936
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:09,845
Yeah, you are.
937
00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:11,684
You're gay,
and you're a dude.
938
00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:13,205
Okay, I'm gonna put this
into language you can
939
00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:13,816
understand.
940
00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:15,922
We're not all man-whores.
941
00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:24,766
Hi.
942
00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:26,251
Hello, handsome.
943
00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:28,209
Don't you look nice.
944
00:36:28,280 --> 00:36:29,805
Thank you.
So do you.
945
00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:32,336
Thanks.
946
00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:33,930
It's a nice place.
947
00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:36,962
What's this?
948
00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:39,520
[laughs]
Thought you might ask.
949
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:41,841
This is a carpet picnic.
950
00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:44,207
Oh, it's a carpet picnic.
951
00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:46,282
Yeah, it's like a picnic,
952
00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:47,771
but it's on the carpet
953
00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:49,001
A carpet picnic.
954
00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:51,651
Yeah. Sit down.
955
00:36:58,040 --> 00:36:59,929
So, I wasn't sure
what you liked,
956
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:02,048
so I got a little bit
of everything.
957
00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:03,281
This looks great.
958
00:37:03,360 --> 00:37:05,136
Thank you.
959
00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:06,685
Champagne?
960
00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:07,807
That's classy, nice touch.
961
00:37:07,880 --> 00:37:08,927
Thank you.
962
00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:11,804
So how was your day?
963
00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:13,576
It was good.
964
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:15,616
You really went all out here,
didn't you?
965
00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:17,244
Yeah.
966
00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:20,405
I wanted to show you
what it was like
967
00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:22,448
to be on a real date.
968
00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:24,761
Oh, this is a date.
969
00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:28,083
Yes, this is a date.
970
00:37:28,160 --> 00:37:29,400
I have to tell you.
971
00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:31,528
I really do have
a crush on you.
972
00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:33,284
Really?
973
00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:37,729
Well, so you know,
the feeling's mutual, so...
974
00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:39,086
to mutual crushes.
975
00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:40,525
To mutual crushes.
976
00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:50,170
S0... you said you were
from Jersey, right?
977
00:37:50,240 --> 00:37:54,165
Yeah, I grew up
in northwest Jersey,
978
00:37:54,240 --> 00:37:56,527
and I grew upon a farm
979
00:37:56,600 --> 00:37:57,931
with all these animals
running around,
980
00:37:58,000 --> 00:38:01,322
so I wanted to be
a veterinarian as a kid.
981
00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:03,971
Then I realized you had
to cut them open,
982
00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:06,486
so then I didn't want to be
a veterinarian anymore.
983
00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:09,166
Yeah, well cutting animals open
984
00:38:09,240 --> 00:38:11,242
isn't so bad when you realize
you're helping them.
985
00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:13,736
Yeah.
986
00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:16,366
So, where did you grow up?
987
00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:18,363
Me, I grew up in Cincinnati,
988
00:38:18,440 --> 00:38:20,776
been out here
for about 12 years.
989
00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:21,961
I mean, I love the city,
990
00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:24,771
but eventually
I'd like to move up north
991
00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:26,330
and just get out.
992
00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:27,561
To where?
993
00:38:27,640 --> 00:38:28,856
I don't know.
994
00:38:28,880 --> 00:38:30,803
Mendocino maybe,
or Shelter Cove.
995
00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:33,201
I go hiking and camping
up there a lot, s0--
996
00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:34,406
I camp all the time.
997
00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:35,686
Yeah, I love to camp.
998
00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:37,171
Really?
I do.
999
00:38:37,240 --> 00:38:40,296
What did you want to be
when you were a kid?
1000
00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:42,136
I wanted to race cars.
1001
00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:43,844
How's thatworking out?
1002
00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:45,126
Not so much.
1003
00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:48,725
So, you know what else?
1004
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:49,881
When I was a kid--
1005
00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:52,406
How about you just shut up
and kiss me already?
1006
00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:57,246
Yeah, I-- well, I--
1007
00:38:57,320 --> 00:38:58,616
N0, n0, no, no--
1008
00:38:58,640 --> 00:39:00,927
There's no more talking,
not for one whole minute.
1009
00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:02,126
[cell phone rings]
1010
00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:04,056
That's your phone.
1011
00:39:04,080 --> 00:39:05,730
So?
1012
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:07,723
You should answer it.
I mean, it could be important.
1013
00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:11,970
It's not important.
1014
00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:13,696
Now where were we?
1015
00:39:13,720 --> 00:39:14,896
I don't know.
1016
00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:16,736
I think the moment
might have passed.
1017
00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:18,842
I don't think so.
1018
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:39,456
Thank God.
1019
00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:41,005
What?
1020
00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:43,896
That you're a good kissen
1021
00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:45,496
I mean, what ifyou
were a bad kisser,
1022
00:39:45,520 --> 00:39:49,366
and, you know,
there's this chemistry,
1023
00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:53,736
but what if that was like,
beginner's luck?
1024
00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:56,764
I mean, I might need
a do-overjust to be sure.
1025
00:39:56,840 --> 00:39:58,976
You want a mulligan?
1026
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:00,161
I do.
1027
00:40:21,240 --> 00:40:23,891
So I did something today.
1028
00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:25,849
Really, what was that?
1029
00:40:27,720 --> 00:40:29,576
I went down to
the Department of Public Health,
1030
00:40:29,600 --> 00:40:32,251
and I spoke to a counselor
about HIV,
1031
00:40:32,320 --> 00:40:34,561
found out what things
were safer than others.
1032
00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:36,529
Really?
1033
00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:40,281
Yeah.
1034
00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:43,011
I know it's early,
I just--
1035
00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:45,731
well, I like you,
and I wanted to be prepared.
1036
00:40:45,800 --> 00:40:48,371
[chuckles]
1037
00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:51,250
That's, like, the nicest thing
1038
00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:53,288
any0ne's done for me
in a long time.
1039
00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:57,968
You know, I miss outon so much
1040
00:40:58,040 --> 00:40:59,166
all because
I have this damn bug,
1041
00:40:59,240 --> 00:41:00,571
and I can't seem to get
rid of it.
1042
00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:05,248
I have zero viral load,
but it's still there.
1043
00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:08,406
It's okay.
1044
00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:11,416
I really do like you.
1045
00:41:11,440 --> 00:41:13,807
I like you, too.
1046
00:41:15,360 --> 00:41:17,840
I wonder if you'd be good
to cuddle with.
1047
00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:21,402
Well, maybe one of these days,
if you're nice,
1048
00:41:21,480 --> 00:41:23,289
I'll let you find out.
1049
00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:26,443
Yeah, but maybe I could just,
you know,
1050
00:41:26,520 --> 00:41:28,045
take you for a test drive,
1051
00:41:28,120 --> 00:41:29,936
see how I fit in the nook.
1052
00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:31,291
Into the what?
1053
00:41:31,360 --> 00:41:33,522
The nook.
1054
00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:35,329
Just lay on your back.
I'll show you.
1055
00:41:39,440 --> 00:41:41,886
Okay, so the nook
is this area here.
1056
00:41:46,240 --> 00:41:48,607
[Sighs]
1057
00:41:50,720 --> 00:41:53,041
Well? Survey says?
1058
00:41:53,120 --> 00:41:54,326
It's nice.
1059
00:41:57,200 --> 00:41:58,804
So do you do this
on all your dates?
1060
00:41:58,880 --> 00:42:02,202
Oh, I knew you'd call it
a date,
1061
00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:04,442
and, no, I do not.
1062
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:06,648
Well, this is nice.
1063
00:42:06,720 --> 00:42:08,051
Mm-hmm.
1064
00:42:08,120 --> 00:42:10,576
I don't really date
that much.
1065
00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:11,931
Me neither
1066
00:42:29,760 --> 00:42:31,569
H 9Y-
1067
00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:32,801
Yeah.
1068
00:42:34,960 --> 00:42:37,327
I should probably go.
1069
00:42:37,400 --> 00:42:38,526
[Yawning]
Really?
1070
00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:40,250
Yeah.
1071
00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:42,976
Do you have to work
in the morning?
1072
00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:44,176
No.
1073
00:42:44,200 --> 00:42:45,611
It's late, though.
1074
00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:47,489
Ishould probably let you
get to bed.
1075
00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:51,201
You know, you could come
to bed with me.
1076
00:42:51,400 --> 00:42:53,641
Not for sex. I don't want
to have sex with you.
1077
00:42:53,840 --> 00:42:54,921
Well--
1078
00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:57,002
I mean, I do want to have sex
with you.
1079
00:42:57,080 --> 00:43:00,456
I don't want to have sex
with you tonight.
1080
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:01,856
Does that make sense?
1081
00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:03,496
I'm rambling.
1082
00:43:03,520 --> 00:43:04,896
Yeah, you're rambling.
1083
00:43:04,920 --> 00:43:06,285
Yeah.
1084
00:43:06,360 --> 00:43:07,361
S0...
1085
00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:12,571
why don't you go ahead
and lead the way, handsome?
1086
00:43:12,640 --> 00:43:13,926
Really?
1087
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:15,331
Yeah.
1088
00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:16,401
Okay.
1089
00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:25,642
Oh.
1090
00:43:25,720 --> 00:43:29,122
You're just gonna get
into bed fully dressed?
1091
00:43:29,200 --> 00:43:31,931
I don't know.
Yeah, I guess.
1092
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:34,970
Well, how about we take off
some of these clothes
1093
00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:36,804
and get
a little more comfortable?
1094
00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:37,961
Some of these clothes.
1095
00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:39,496
Yeah.
1096
00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:40,487
Such as?
1097
00:43:42,160 --> 00:43:43,650
Let's start with the shirt.
1098
00:43:55,520 --> 00:43:57,363
It's your turn.
1099
00:43:57,440 --> 00:43:59,090
By all means.
1100
00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:03,521
God, you're
such a good kisser
1101
00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:05,523
That's because
I have a good partnen
1102
00:45:16,120 --> 00:45:17,201
Whoa, whoa, whoa...
1103
00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:18,496
What?
1104
00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:20,648
Let's just hang on f0r--
1105
00:45:20,720 --> 00:45:22,006
I think we should behave.
1106
00:45:22,080 --> 00:45:23,536
Slow down a little bit.
1107
00:45:23,560 --> 00:45:24,721
Yeah, behave.
1108
00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:37,816
No, you're rig ht.
1109
00:45:37,840 --> 00:45:42,050
We should slow down.
1110
00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:44,248
Yeah.
1111
00:45:49,320 --> 00:45:51,721
No, n0...
1112
00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:53,296
Dude, you have to get off
1113
00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:55,846
because if you don't,
I'm gonna fucking rape you.
1114
00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:57,160
You can't rape the willing.
1115
00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:07,482
All right.
Sleep?
1116
00:46:07,560 --> 00:46:08,800
All rig ht,
sleep, okay.
1117
00:46:08,880 --> 00:46:10,689
One more kiss.
1118
00:46:12,480 --> 00:46:14,801
All right, I'll be good.
1119
00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:16,882
Get off.
1120
00:46:16,960 --> 00:46:18,803
Off. Off.
1121
00:46:26,560 --> 00:46:28,496
Goodnight.
1122
00:46:28,520 --> 00:46:29,681
Goodnight.
1123
00:46:47,280 --> 00:46:48,691
Oh, good morning,
Sleeping Beauty.
1124
00:46:48,760 --> 00:46:50,205
How are you?
1125
00:46:50,280 --> 00:46:53,727
Good morning, handsome.
1126
00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:55,450
How did you sleep?
1127
00:46:55,520 --> 00:46:58,251
[sighs]
Good. You?
1128
00:46:58,320 --> 00:47:00,243
I slept good, too.
1129
00:47:00,320 --> 00:47:02,482
Good.
1130
00:47:02,560 --> 00:47:05,643
Listen, I gotta head out soon.
1131
00:47:05,720 --> 00:47:06,881
No.
1132
00:47:06,960 --> 00:47:10,521
No, no, no, that's 0kay--
No, stay in bed with me.
1133
00:47:10,600 --> 00:47:12,602
You got a big day planned?
1134
00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:15,331
No, I'm just gonna
work out.
1135
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:17,368
Yeah?
What about you?
1136
00:47:17,440 --> 00:47:19,966
I gotta head into the office
in a while, but...
1137
00:47:21,360 --> 00:47:23,056
I just gotta tell you
1138
00:47:23,080 --> 00:47:25,447
that was a hell ofa night
last night.
1139
00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:27,602
One heck of a date.
1140
00:47:27,680 --> 00:47:29,648
Yeah, it was.
1141
00:47:29,720 --> 00:47:31,449
So when can I see you again?
1142
00:47:31,520 --> 00:47:32,681
I don't know.
1143
00:47:32,760 --> 00:47:35,001
What are you doing later?
1144
00:47:35,080 --> 00:47:36,605
Seeing you.
1145
00:47:36,680 --> 00:47:37,567
Good answen
1146
00:47:47,840 --> 00:47:49,729
So, how's that blue bail
situation, kid?
1147
00:47:49,800 --> 00:47:52,371
It's the same.
No sex.
1148
00:47:52,440 --> 00:47:54,204
Just fuck already.
It's been long enough.
1149
00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:57,056
It's been two days,
and I'm saving myself.
1150
00:47:57,080 --> 00:47:59,056
For what?
You're not a virgin, Ben.
1151
00:47:59,080 --> 00:48:00,456
Well, I am with Grey.
1152
00:48:00,480 --> 00:48:02,289
Do you even hear yourself?
1153
00:48:02,360 --> 00:48:04,328
Yeah, butl really like
this guy,
1154
00:48:04,400 --> 00:48:06,129
and if the sex it bad,
I'm gonna lose interest.
1155
00:48:06,200 --> 00:48:08,646
So you move on.
Next
1156
00:48:08,720 --> 00:48:10,643
You know, first time sex
is always tricky.
1157
00:48:10,720 --> 00:48:12,336
Aren't you the one
who always told me,
1158
00:48:12,360 --> 00:48:14,601
"The more you know somebody,
the better sex is?"
1159
00:48:14,680 --> 00:48:17,251
Yeah, that was me lying
to myself.
1160
00:48:17,320 --> 00:48:19,163
First time sex
ever been tricky for you?
1161
00:48:19,240 --> 00:48:23,768
No, I mean,
I murderthat shit, kid.
1162
00:48:23,840 --> 00:48:25,444
How's that?
1163
00:48:25,520 --> 00:48:27,443
0k, listen.
1164
00:48:27,520 --> 00:48:29,727
Sex and love are separate,
right?
1165
00:48:29,800 --> 00:48:31,656
Like, I could bang a broad
and not love hen
1166
00:48:31,680 --> 00:48:33,056
Y0u-- You get it all twisted.
1167
00:48:33,080 --> 00:48:34,570
You think
thatjust because you had sex,
1168
00:48:34,640 --> 00:48:36,696
automatically
you need to fall in love.
1169
00:48:36,720 --> 00:48:37,687
That's ridiculous.
1170
00:48:37,760 --> 00:48:39,096
No, it isn't.
1171
00:48:39,120 --> 00:48:40,485
I separate
what needs to be separated.
1172
00:48:40,560 --> 00:48:41,527
You act like you're all moral,
1173
00:48:41,600 --> 00:48:42,726
but you do the same shit
1174
00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:44,564
except you create
this huge fig ht
1175
00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:46,936
to break up with the dude
instead of being direct.
1176
00:48:46,960 --> 00:48:47,927
No, I don't.
1177
00:48:49,560 --> 00:48:51,050
You know,
I used to do that,
1178
00:48:51,120 --> 00:48:53,043
but that's just because I
hadn't found the right guy yet.
1179
00:48:53,120 --> 00:48:54,724
Or it's because
you're just like me,
1180
00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:56,131
and you're afraid to commit.
1181
00:48:56,200 --> 00:48:57,850
No.
1182
00:48:57,920 --> 00:48:59,888
Whateven
1183
00:48:59,960 --> 00:49:03,456
[phone rings]
1184
00:49:03,480 --> 00:49:04,811
Oh, it's Grey.
1185
00:49:04,880 --> 00:49:06,803
So answer it.
1186
00:49:06,880 --> 00:49:10,202
No. No.
1187
00:49:10,280 --> 00:49:13,045
He called you
two times already today.
1188
00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:14,565
Yeah?
1189
00:49:14,640 --> 00:49:17,336
Listen, I can't be
too readily available, okay?
1190
00:49:17,360 --> 00:49:20,736
Oh, so now we're
playing games, huh?
1191
00:49:20,760 --> 00:49:22,000
It's not good, Ben.
1192
00:49:22,080 --> 00:49:23,206
It's not good.
1193
00:49:31,440 --> 00:49:33,568
You guys are so sweet.
1194
00:49:33,640 --> 00:49:36,769
Ben and Grey making it official
on Facebook.
1195
00:49:36,840 --> 00:49:38,456
Yeah, we've been dating
for a few months,
1196
00:49:38,480 --> 00:49:39,811
so I figure, why not?
1197
00:49:39,880 --> 00:49:40,927
Yeah.
Really?
1198
00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:42,206
Who does that?
1199
00:49:42,280 --> 00:49:43,611
Isn't Facebook
for, like, 14-year-old girls
1200
00:49:43,680 --> 00:49:44,761
and future pedophiles?
1201
00:49:44,840 --> 00:49:46,126
No.
1202
00:49:46,200 --> 00:49:48,043
Listen, you're straight
and married.
1203
00:49:48,120 --> 00:49:49,645
I don't expect you
to understand.
1204
00:49:49,720 --> 00:49:52,736
Yes, butl think
it's great.
1205
00:49:52,760 --> 00:49:54,649
I change my Facebook status
all the time
1206
00:49:54,720 --> 00:49:56,085
on my Blackberry.
1207
00:49:56,160 --> 00:50:00,085
I put up pictures today
of my new piercing, everyone.
1208
00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:02,686
Oh, T-M-I.
1209
00:50:02,760 --> 00:50:04,205
New topic, anyone?
1210
00:50:04,280 --> 00:50:06,009
[doorbell rings]
1211
00:50:09,480 --> 00:50:13,724
Guys, please behave
and do not embarrass me.
1212
00:50:13,800 --> 00:50:15,006
Thank you.
1213
00:50:25,080 --> 00:50:27,736
So Grey,
1214
00:50:27,760 --> 00:50:29,922
do you know Ben
has a phobia of commitment?
1215
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:31,923
Brad, stop.
1216
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:33,923
Grey, Ben is a great guy.
1217
00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:35,365
Big 0l' bottom.
1218
00:50:35,440 --> 00:50:36,805
You hurt him,
I'll fuckin' kill ya.
1219
00:50:36,880 --> 00:50:38,370
Oh, Vinnie,
if somebody hurts me,
1220
00:50:38,440 --> 00:50:39,566
will you kill them?
1221
00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:40,607
Zip it.
1222
00:50:41,960 --> 00:50:44,440
So there's not really
much of a warm up
1223
00:50:44,520 --> 00:50:45,885
with this crew, is there?
1224
00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:47,371
No,
1225
00:50:47,440 --> 00:50:49,488
this is exactly
why they've never met anyone
1226
00:50:49,560 --> 00:50:50,561
I've dated before.
1227
00:50:50,640 --> 00:50:52,165
Thank you
for embarrassing me, guys.
1228
00:50:52,360 --> 00:50:53,725
Thank you. Glad we got that
out of the way.
1229
00:50:53,880 --> 00:50:56,486
Wait, you guys have never met
1230
00:50:56,560 --> 00:50:58,050
anyone that Ben's dated, ever?
1231
00:50:58,120 --> 00:50:59,724
You are officially
the first.
1232
00:50:59,800 --> 00:51:00,926
It's the darnedest thing,
1233
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:02,161
For some reason
1234
00:51:02,240 --> 00:51:03,376
he never keeps them
around long enough
1235
00:51:03,400 --> 00:51:04,640
for us to actually meet--
aah...
1236
00:51:04,720 --> 00:51:08,008
Okay, I'm officially
worried now.
1237
00:51:08,080 --> 00:51:09,416
Don't be.
1238
00:51:09,440 --> 00:51:10,616
We're an easy group.
1239
00:51:10,640 --> 00:51:12,642
So Grey,
you got a straight brother?
1240
00:51:12,720 --> 00:51:15,769
No, two sisters actually,
both married.
1241
00:51:15,840 --> 00:51:17,649
That's a shame,
because you're hot.
1242
00:51:17,720 --> 00:51:19,165
Grey, if Ben brings you around,
1243
00:51:19,240 --> 00:51:21,368
you are officially
part of the family.
1244
00:51:21,440 --> 00:51:22,805
And with that, ladies,
1245
00:51:22,880 --> 00:51:25,611
let's go and make these boys
some drinks.
1246
00:51:25,800 --> 00:51:27,325
Like a good woman should.
[slaps] Aah.
1247
00:51:27,480 --> 00:51:29,528
You keep it up
and no sex foryou.
1248
00:51:29,600 --> 00:51:32,936
I'll be right back.
Don't go anywhere.
1249
00:51:32,960 --> 00:51:34,485
You're mine.
1250
00:51:34,560 --> 00:51:35,925
I miss you already.
1251
00:51:40,360 --> 00:51:41,691
See what I'm talking about?
1252
00:51:41,760 --> 00:51:43,888
She's got me
in the fucking Cobra Clutch.
1253
00:51:43,960 --> 00:51:45,216
Jesus.
1254
00:51:45,240 --> 00:51:47,527
Vinnie, don't ever leave me.
1255
00:51:47,600 --> 00:51:49,921
Ifl can't have you,
nobody can.
1256
00:51:50,120 --> 00:51:51,963
Because I'm a cuckoo psycho.
Cuckoo.
1257
00:51:52,120 --> 00:51:54,122
Keep laughing.
You're boy is a funny guy.
1258
00:51:54,200 --> 00:51:55,456
Wait till it happens to you.
1259
00:51:55,480 --> 00:51:57,528
That's exactly
what the fuck she's like.
1260
00:51:57,600 --> 00:51:59,887
I'm back.
1261
00:51:59,960 --> 00:52:01,896
I couldn't be
away from you.
1262
00:52:01,920 --> 00:52:03,524
Why do you gotta
always hang on me?
1263
00:52:05,440 --> 00:52:07,536
So Grey,
you're a designer?
1264
00:52:07,560 --> 00:52:11,976
Yeah, mainly I remodel
high end hotels and stuff.
1265
00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:16,881
Mm, do you think you can get us
a discount on a hotel room?
1266
00:52:16,960 --> 00:52:18,962
Uh, no, sorry.
1267
00:52:19,040 --> 00:52:20,610
So Grey,
1268
00:52:20,680 --> 00:52:22,569
I hear you don't believe
in monogamy.
1269
00:52:22,640 --> 00:52:24,642
Okay, Brad, thank you.
1270
00:52:24,720 --> 00:52:26,131
Thank you for that, Brad.
1271
00:52:26,200 --> 00:52:27,770
I have never shown you
the back yard.
1272
00:52:27,840 --> 00:52:30,127
Backyard--
code word for "backdoor"?
1273
00:52:31,640 --> 00:52:33,608
Okay, let's go.
1274
00:52:36,360 --> 00:52:38,169
So Grey was nice.
1275
00:52:38,240 --> 00:52:39,287
Yeah.
1276
00:52:39,360 --> 00:52:40,646
He's seems sweet,
1277
00:52:40,720 --> 00:52:43,087
and you guys seem like you
really like each other
1278
00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:45,640
Oh, my gosh,
those sheep are so cute.
1279
00:52:45,720 --> 00:52:46,767
Look at 'em.
[sheep bleats]
1280
00:52:46,840 --> 00:52:49,081
Yeah, I guess, for sheep.
1281
00:52:49,160 --> 00:52:50,571
Why are sheep
always the target
1282
00:52:50,640 --> 00:52:52,688
for farmers to have sex with?
1283
00:52:52,760 --> 00:52:53,886
I don't know.
1284
00:52:53,960 --> 00:52:55,530
I've never had sex
with a sheep.
1285
00:52:55,600 --> 00:52:57,090
Well, that's good for you,
1286
00:52:57,160 --> 00:52:59,731
but where is their hole even?
1287
00:52:59,800 --> 00:53:02,531
Are you are kidding me?
It's under their tail.
1288
00:53:02,600 --> 00:53:04,170
Oh.
1289
00:53:04,240 --> 00:53:05,810
Do you think it's
because they don't kick
1290
00:53:05,880 --> 00:53:08,296
like a horse does?
1291
00:53:08,320 --> 00:53:09,367
Sara, I don't know.
1292
00:53:09,440 --> 00:53:12,011
I've never had sex
with any farm animal.
1293
00:53:12,080 --> 00:53:14,651
I mean, I guess
ifl had to figure it out,
1294
00:53:14,720 --> 00:53:16,449
I don't know, maybe it's
because they don't bite?
1295
00:53:16,520 --> 00:53:18,170
Oh, good point.
1296
00:53:18,240 --> 00:53:20,242
I do like Grey for you,
though.
1297
00:53:20,320 --> 00:53:22,376
All right,
out of left field.
1298
00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:25,006
And I like Grey for me, too.
1299
00:53:25,080 --> 00:53:28,289
Hey, you know
he's gonna come over,
1300
00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:31,250
and we're gonna have
a take-out date tomorrow night.
1301
00:53:31,320 --> 00:53:32,481
Do you wanna come over, too?
1302
00:53:32,560 --> 00:53:33,925
And be the third wheel?
1303
00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:34,842
No, thanks.
1304
00:53:42,120 --> 00:53:44,336
A.D.D. Interiors.
1305
00:53:44,360 --> 00:53:45,521
Who's this?
1306
00:53:45,600 --> 00:53:47,170
Hi, Ben.
How are you doing?
1307
00:53:47,240 --> 00:53:48,287
Hold on one sec.
1308
00:53:48,360 --> 00:53:52,376
Grey, it's your boyfriend.
1309
00:53:52,400 --> 00:53:53,811
Knock it off.
He's not my boyfriend.
1310
00:53:53,880 --> 00:53:55,120
Shut up.
1311
00:53:55,200 --> 00:53:56,486
Hey.
1312
00:53:59,280 --> 00:54:02,011
Yeah, you need me to stop by
the store and pick up anything?
1313
00:54:04,080 --> 00:54:07,163
All right.
I'll see you around 7:00.
1314
00:54:07,240 --> 00:54:09,004
All right, bye.
1315
00:54:09,080 --> 00:54:10,445
You got a date, huh?
1316
00:54:11,760 --> 00:54:14,491
Look at you blush.
1317
00:54:14,560 --> 00:54:16,050
You really like him.
1318
00:54:16,120 --> 00:54:17,326
Shut up.
Don't you got something
1319
00:54:17,520 --> 00:54:18,760
you gotta file or something?
1320
00:54:18,840 --> 00:54:20,080
No.
Well find something.
1321
00:54:20,160 --> 00:54:21,321
No, I don't.
1322
00:54:21,400 --> 00:54:23,243
Yeah, you do.
[laughs]
1323
00:54:30,360 --> 00:54:31,725
You're awful quiet.
1324
00:54:31,800 --> 00:54:34,280
You don't like the food?
1325
00:54:34,360 --> 00:54:35,850
The food's fine.
1326
00:54:35,920 --> 00:54:37,649
It's just--
1327
00:54:37,720 --> 00:54:39,056
[Sighs]
1328
00:54:39,080 --> 00:54:41,128
I had a foreman
fuck up on a job today,
1329
00:54:41,200 --> 00:54:44,329
and it's just given me
a headache.
1330
00:54:44,400 --> 00:54:45,640
That sucks.
1331
00:54:45,720 --> 00:54:46,721
Yeah.
1332
00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:48,928
I'll tell you what.
1333
00:54:49,000 --> 00:54:52,288
If you clear the table,
I'll give you a back rub.
1334
00:54:52,360 --> 00:54:54,488
Really?
Really.
1335
00:54:54,560 --> 00:54:56,449
A good one.
1336
00:55:06,360 --> 00:55:08,010
You said something
about a back rub?
1337
00:55:08,080 --> 00:55:09,889
Yeah, well that was faster
than expected.
1338
00:55:12,280 --> 00:55:13,611
Lean back.
1339
00:55:17,680 --> 00:55:19,842
Oh, God, that's good.
1340
00:55:22,880 --> 00:55:27,536
So what exactly do I get
ifl mop the floor?
1341
00:55:27,560 --> 00:55:30,643
Well, I am sure
we can negotiate on something.
1342
00:55:30,720 --> 00:55:31,881
[Grey chuckles]
1343
00:55:35,800 --> 00:55:37,768
You are really tense.
1344
00:55:37,840 --> 00:55:39,604
Did you have more than
one problem at work today?
1345
00:55:43,520 --> 00:55:44,806
Hello?
1346
00:55:44,880 --> 00:55:46,325
Earth to Grey.
1347
00:55:46,400 --> 00:55:47,447
Yeah.
1348
00:55:48,720 --> 00:55:50,449
You got something
on your mind?
1349
00:55:51,560 --> 00:55:52,971
No, no.
1350
00:55:56,880 --> 00:56:00,441
Actually yeah, I do.
1351
00:56:00,520 --> 00:56:01,885
Have a seat.
1352
00:56:09,240 --> 00:56:11,607
All rig ht, well,
this doesn't sound too good.
1353
00:56:13,040 --> 00:56:14,326
All right...
1354
00:56:17,720 --> 00:56:19,768
so afterl got off the phone
with you today,
1355
00:56:19,840 --> 00:56:22,366
I-- I hooked up with a guy.
1356
00:56:22,440 --> 00:56:24,283
You what?
1357
00:56:24,360 --> 00:56:25,646
Look, I didn't go out looking
for it.
1358
00:56:25,720 --> 00:56:27,722
Itjust happened.
1359
00:56:27,800 --> 00:56:29,370
Oh, itjust happened.
1360
00:56:29,440 --> 00:56:31,727
It'sjusta guy thatl hook up
with from time to time.
1361
00:56:31,800 --> 00:56:33,736
So this is a regular thing?
1362
00:56:33,760 --> 00:56:37,048
Ben, when we got together,
1363
00:56:37,120 --> 00:56:38,770
I told you that
I didn't believe in monogamy.
1364
00:56:38,840 --> 00:56:41,207
That's why I was so worried
about dating you.
1365
00:56:41,280 --> 00:56:44,090
Look, I think it's sweet that
you can stay so green
1366
00:56:44,160 --> 00:56:45,400
and keep
your Midwestern values
1367
00:56:45,480 --> 00:56:46,811
in a city like this, but--
1368
00:56:46,880 --> 00:56:48,882
I'm green because
I don't hook up with randoms.
1369
00:56:48,960 --> 00:56:52,089
All rig ht, okay, now,
don't get so upset.
1370
00:56:52,160 --> 00:56:53,366
I knew
I shouldn't have told you.
1371
00:56:53,440 --> 00:56:54,441
Yeah,
you should have told me,
1372
00:56:54,520 --> 00:56:55,681
but then you're gonna sit there
1373
00:56:55,760 --> 00:56:57,096
and tell me this is all
because I'm green
1374
00:56:57,120 --> 00:56:58,281
because I don't hook up
like a slut.
1375
00:56:58,360 --> 00:56:59,521
But you are green, okay?
1376
00:56:59,600 --> 00:57:00,896
That's whatl like about you,
1377
00:57:00,920 --> 00:57:03,571
but face it, you are green.
1378
00:57:03,640 --> 00:57:05,563
I mean, have you ever been
to a sex club?
1379
00:57:05,640 --> 00:57:06,607
No.
1380
00:57:06,680 --> 00:57:07,886
Ever had a three way?
1381
00:57:07,960 --> 00:57:09,325
No, but that doesn't make me
green
1382
00:57:09,400 --> 00:57:10,776
because I'm not hooking up
with randoms.
1383
00:57:10,800 --> 00:57:12,006
But it does.
1384
00:57:12,080 --> 00:57:13,923
I'm sorry if that offends you,
1385
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:15,286
but let's face it.
1386
00:57:15,360 --> 00:57:17,216
I'm a man,
and I'm not dead yet.
1387
00:57:17,240 --> 00:57:19,242
You're a man,
and you're not dead?
1388
00:57:19,320 --> 00:57:20,446
Well how fucking Zen
of you, Grey.
1389
00:57:20,520 --> 00:57:22,568
Come on, grow up.
1390
00:57:22,640 --> 00:57:24,563
You see, that's whyl didn't
want to tell you any of this.
1391
00:57:24,640 --> 00:57:25,880
I didn't want this
to upset you.
1392
00:57:25,960 --> 00:57:27,256
Don't take it so personal.
1393
00:57:27,280 --> 00:57:28,850
Don't take this personal?
1394
00:57:29,040 --> 00:57:31,088
You don't think this all starts
with us being personal?
1395
00:57:31,240 --> 00:57:33,296
Come on, okay?
Wrong choice of words.
1396
00:57:33,320 --> 00:57:34,845
Just don't take it that way.
1397
00:57:34,920 --> 00:57:36,684
Why don't you tell me
how you did mean it?
1398
00:57:36,760 --> 00:57:37,936
How about we spend
the next few months
1399
00:57:37,960 --> 00:57:39,485
just filling up your days
1400
00:57:39,680 --> 00:57:41,205
and then you can run off and
sleep with whomever you want?
1401
00:57:41,360 --> 00:57:42,964
First of all,
did you ever stop to think
1402
00:57:43,160 --> 00:57:44,002
that this wasn't
all about you? Huh?
1403
00:57:44,160 --> 00:57:45,207
You're delusional.
1404
00:57:45,280 --> 00:57:46,406
Second of all,
1405
00:57:46,480 --> 00:57:47,641
maybe I'm falling for you,
okay?
1406
00:57:47,720 --> 00:57:49,404
Do you have any idea
how hard that is for me?
1407
00:57:49,480 --> 00:57:50,811
Well I might be falling
for you, too,
1408
00:57:50,880 --> 00:57:52,484
but if this is so hard on you,
1409
00:57:52,560 --> 00:57:53,971
why would you sleep
with someone else?
1410
00:57:54,040 --> 00:57:55,963
Have you ever thought
that I was terrified
1411
00:57:56,040 --> 00:57:58,281
that I would get you positive?
1412
00:57:58,360 --> 00:58:00,761
Do you have any idea
what that's like?
1413
00:58:00,840 --> 00:58:03,081
I live with that fear
every day.
1414
00:58:04,200 --> 00:58:05,884
That's really unfain
1415
00:58:05,960 --> 00:58:07,485
Now, I don't know
what that's like,
1416
00:58:07,560 --> 00:58:09,050
and I'm sorry to be
insensitive,
1417
00:58:09,120 --> 00:58:10,281
but you cheated.
1418
00:58:10,360 --> 00:58:13,523
Grow up.
I slept with someone.
1419
00:58:13,600 --> 00:58:17,491
Look, you and I spend
every day togethen
1420
00:58:17,560 --> 00:58:18,891
We go to the movies.
1421
00:58:18,960 --> 00:58:21,042
We go hiking.
1422
00:58:21,120 --> 00:58:23,566
No guy I've hook up
with has slept in my bed.
1423
00:58:23,640 --> 00:58:24,766
You do.
1424
00:58:24,840 --> 00:58:27,320
No guyl sleep with
1425
00:58:27,400 --> 00:58:29,402
has met my friends,
but you have.
1426
00:58:29,480 --> 00:58:31,642
You've got to factor that in,
okay?
1427
00:58:31,720 --> 00:58:33,006
I told you from day one
1428
00:58:33,080 --> 00:58:36,243
that I was not monogamous.
1429
00:58:36,320 --> 00:58:39,483
I don't say these things
to hurt you,
1430
00:58:39,560 --> 00:58:41,688
but you're the one who said
you'd always wanna know.
1431
00:58:41,760 --> 00:58:43,649
[weeping]
I just didn't think
1432
00:58:43,720 --> 00:58:45,722
it would feel like
I got punched in the throat.
1433
00:58:45,800 --> 00:58:47,290
I am sorry, okay?
1434
00:58:55,000 --> 00:58:56,816
Am I doing something wrong?
1435
00:58:56,840 --> 00:58:58,330
You can tell me.
1436
00:58:58,400 --> 00:59:00,368
Ijust don't know
why it wasn't me.
1437
00:59:00,440 --> 00:59:01,885
No.
1438
00:59:04,280 --> 00:59:06,044
I knew going into this
1439
00:59:06,120 --> 00:59:08,456
that I was scared to date you.
1440
00:59:08,480 --> 00:59:11,165
I was afraid that if something
like this happened,
1441
00:59:11,240 --> 00:59:12,207
you would wanna end it.
1442
00:59:12,280 --> 00:59:14,408
Yeah, I wish I could.
1443
00:59:14,480 --> 00:59:15,845
I can't, I'm all in.
1444
00:59:15,920 --> 00:59:17,365
That's the problem.
1445
00:59:17,440 --> 00:59:19,920
Ben...
1446
00:59:20,000 --> 00:59:22,287
you've got to know
you're the only thing
1447
00:59:22,360 --> 00:59:24,089
that's makes me happy, okay?
1448
00:59:24,160 --> 00:59:27,164
Yoursmile melts my heart.
1449
00:59:29,840 --> 00:59:33,003
This whole thing, it's just really
new for me, you know?
1450
00:59:33,160 --> 00:59:36,016
I know.
1451
00:59:36,040 --> 00:59:37,405
Just shut up and kiss me now,
1452
00:59:37,480 --> 00:59:39,369
and let's just remember
what we have, okay?
1453
00:59:55,240 --> 00:59:57,686
M' [rock]
1454
01:00:47,120 --> 01:00:48,963
HeYl You awake?
1455
01:00:54,600 --> 01:00:56,170
I love you.
1456
01:01:13,880 --> 01:01:15,245
[Callie]
Wow, so he told you
1457
01:01:15,440 --> 01:01:16,168
he loved you?
1458
01:01:16,240 --> 01:01:18,256
Oh, he's so staying faithful,
then.
1459
01:01:18,280 --> 01:01:19,725
Yeah, but he told me
whilel was sleeping,
1460
01:01:19,800 --> 01:01:21,131
so it doesn't really count.
1461
01:01:21,200 --> 01:01:23,487
Oh, no, thatjust means
he meant it more.
1462
01:01:23,560 --> 01:01:24,896
He's not trying to get
in your pants.
1463
01:01:24,920 --> 01:01:26,160
He already got the goods,
1464
01:01:26,240 --> 01:01:28,208
and he said it
while you were sleeping.
1465
01:01:28,280 --> 01:01:30,089
So you think
he will stay faithful?
1466
01:01:30,160 --> 01:01:32,136
Oh, babe,
so staying faithful.
1467
01:01:32,160 --> 01:01:33,736
Brad, you're
the voice of reason.
1468
01:01:33,760 --> 01:01:35,046
Do you think
he's going to stay faithful?
1469
01:01:35,120 --> 01:01:37,176
Depends how good
the sex was.
1470
01:01:37,200 --> 01:01:39,576
It is not about the sex.
1471
01:01:39,600 --> 01:01:40,931
Ben, he will.
1472
01:01:41,000 --> 01:01:43,241
Oh, baby.
He's a man.
1473
01:01:43,320 --> 01:01:45,402
It's always about the sex.
Always about the sex.
1474
01:01:45,480 --> 01:01:47,016
You guys,
we're making sandwiches.
1475
01:01:47,040 --> 01:01:48,087
That's gross.
1476
01:01:48,160 --> 01:01:50,288
And if it is "about the sex,"
1477
01:01:50,360 --> 01:01:53,364
then you can give me
a V, dot the I,
1478
01:01:53,560 --> 01:01:55,449
cross the T, 0, R, Y
1479
01:01:55,520 --> 01:01:57,648
What the fuck was that?
1480
01:01:57,720 --> 01:01:59,165
Okay, that's a cheer,
1481
01:01:59,240 --> 01:02:00,890
and it spells victory, duh.
1482
01:02:00,960 --> 01:02:02,121
No, it doesn't,
not at all.
1483
01:02:02,200 --> 01:02:03,440
Yes, it does.
1484
01:02:03,520 --> 01:02:07,206
Give me a V, dot the I,
cross the T, 0, R, Y
1485
01:02:07,400 --> 01:02:08,128
Victory.
1486
01:02:08,200 --> 01:02:09,326
Yeah, that spells "vitory."
1487
01:02:09,400 --> 01:02:10,447
What the hell's a vitory?
1488
01:02:10,520 --> 01:02:11,442
Vitory-do.
1489
01:02:11,520 --> 01:02:12,760
Whatever,
fuck the both of y'all.
1490
01:02:12,840 --> 01:02:14,171
It was great sex, okay?
1491
01:02:14,240 --> 01:02:16,322
Oh, really?
Are you in love with him?
1492
01:02:16,400 --> 01:02:17,765
Oh, my God, listen.
1493
01:02:17,840 --> 01:02:20,571
Am I gonna be
the only voice of reason here?
1494
01:02:20,640 --> 01:02:23,166
Ben, this guy's
a waste of your time.
1495
01:02:23,240 --> 01:02:25,402
No, okay, 0ne--
1496
01:02:25,480 --> 01:02:27,562
I thinkl might be failing
in love with him,
1497
01:02:27,640 --> 01:02:29,404
and two--
I can't help how I feel,
1498
01:02:29,480 --> 01:02:31,209
so can we
just have a beer with lunch
1499
01:02:31,280 --> 01:02:32,896
and celebrate my "vitory" sex?
1500
01:02:32,920 --> 01:02:35,287
Can we also celebrate
you being delusional?
1501
01:02:35,360 --> 01:02:38,489
Brad, just stop.
Just stop.
1502
01:02:38,560 --> 01:02:39,482
And I can't.
1503
01:02:39,560 --> 01:02:41,403
Yes, you can.
1504
01:02:41,480 --> 01:02:43,164
Your husband thinks
I'm a delusional train wreck,
1505
01:02:43,240 --> 01:02:44,765
so you can have one beer
with lunch.
1506
01:02:47,880 --> 01:02:48,881
Shut up.
[Callie]
1507
01:02:49,080 --> 01:02:49,603
Mm-hmm.
1508
01:02:49,680 --> 01:02:50,602
Are you serious?
1509
01:02:50,680 --> 01:02:53,216
Oh, my God,
congratulations.
1510
01:02:53,240 --> 01:02:54,287
Thank you.
1511
01:02:54,360 --> 01:02:57,091
I can't believe that.
Right there.
1512
01:02:57,280 --> 01:02:58,850
I cannot believe you guys let me
ramble on and on
1513
01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:00,126
about my stupid vitory sex.
1514
01:03:00,200 --> 01:03:02,009
When did you find out?
Last night.
1515
01:03:02,080 --> 01:03:03,296
Oh, my God,
1516
01:03:03,320 --> 01:03:04,890
so I know this is
your moment and everything,
1517
01:03:04,960 --> 01:03:07,247
but I cannot believe
I'm gonna be an uncle.
1518
01:03:07,320 --> 01:03:08,296
I can't believe it.
1519
01:03:08,320 --> 01:03:10,527
Oh, my God,
what are you gonna name it?
1520
01:03:10,600 --> 01:03:11,761
I don't know.
1521
01:03:11,840 --> 01:03:14,081
What if it's a boy?
Icould name it Benny.
1522
01:03:14,280 --> 01:03:15,770
Benny! Baby Benny.
Baby Benny.
1523
01:03:15,920 --> 01:03:17,843
Oh, Baby Benny,
that's so cute.
1524
01:03:17,920 --> 01:03:19,888
No, it's-- double no.
No, we'll talk about that--
1525
01:03:19,960 --> 01:03:21,246
You'll be lucky if you even
get to baby-sit,
1526
01:03:21,320 --> 01:03:22,481
commitment-phobe.
1527
01:03:22,560 --> 01:03:24,403
Oh, I'm gonna baby-sit
your baby.
1528
01:03:24,600 --> 01:03:26,568
No, we're gonna pay
for the little girl across the street.
1529
01:03:26,760 --> 01:03:28,125
Just trust me.
Yeah, your baby's gonna be a diva.
1530
01:03:33,040 --> 01:03:35,202
I can't believe
I'm gonna be an uncle.
1531
01:03:35,280 --> 01:03:37,328
I know,
that's pretty awesome.
1532
01:03:37,400 --> 01:03:40,085
Callie and Brad
have been trying for a while.
1533
01:03:40,160 --> 01:03:41,605
Yeah.
1534
01:03:46,160 --> 01:03:48,640
God, I love
the way you feel.
1535
01:03:48,720 --> 01:03:52,361
I can't imagine
not being around you.
1536
01:03:53,680 --> 01:03:54,806
Me eithen
1537
01:03:54,880 --> 01:03:58,168
Yeah, just let me
finish, okay?
1538
01:04:00,040 --> 01:04:04,170
You are one of the most
thoughtful, fun guys
1539
01:04:04,240 --> 01:04:06,049
I've ever been around...
1540
01:04:08,280 --> 01:04:10,009
not to mention you
are sexy as hell.
1541
01:04:11,480 --> 01:04:12,720
Thank you.
1542
01:04:12,800 --> 01:04:15,406
Ican honestly look
to the future,
1543
01:04:15,480 --> 01:04:18,290
and I can see us
with our own place,
1544
01:04:18,360 --> 01:04:19,646
one or two dogs
1545
01:04:19,720 --> 01:04:21,927
running
around the backyard.
1546
01:04:22,000 --> 01:04:24,162
Maybe three.
1547
01:04:24,240 --> 01:04:25,776
Two. Okay?
1548
01:04:25,800 --> 01:04:27,086
Okay.
1549
01:04:28,440 --> 01:04:30,090
And having said all this...
1550
01:04:31,720 --> 01:04:32,801
I love you.
1551
01:04:34,360 --> 01:04:40,049
And I cannot fathom having
to break your heart again.
1552
01:04:40,120 --> 01:04:42,805
So don't.
1553
01:04:42,880 --> 01:04:44,896
You didn't break my heart.
1554
01:04:44,920 --> 01:04:47,810
Yes, I did,
1555
01:04:47,880 --> 01:04:49,928
and it's not that easy.
1556
01:04:53,040 --> 01:04:55,122
I slept
with another guy again.
1557
01:04:59,880 --> 01:05:02,963
Tell me
Idid notjust hear that.
1558
01:05:03,160 --> 01:05:05,606
You love me, and you're sleeping
with random men?
1559
01:05:05,760 --> 01:05:07,416
It's not that easy
to explain.
1560
01:05:07,440 --> 01:05:08,646
I'm sorry.
1561
01:05:08,720 --> 01:05:11,256
I don't want you
to be sorry.
1562
01:05:11,280 --> 01:05:14,966
I want you
tojust want to be with me.
1563
01:05:15,040 --> 01:05:17,327
How fucking pathetic
and desperate do I sound?
1564
01:05:17,400 --> 01:05:20,802
Just like that,
you expect me to change?
1565
01:05:20,880 --> 01:05:23,690
I told you from the beginning,
this is who I was. Okay?
1566
01:05:23,760 --> 01:05:26,969
I can't change who I am,
and neither can you.
1567
01:05:27,040 --> 01:05:29,042
Ijust don't understand.
1568
01:05:30,600 --> 01:05:33,285
Look, what happens
1569
01:05:33,360 --> 01:05:36,170
ifl have an indiscretion
and you break it off? Huh?
1570
01:05:36,240 --> 01:05:38,004
You'd be willing to throw
all this away
1571
01:05:38,080 --> 01:05:40,216
over something so stupid
and meaningless?
1572
01:05:40,240 --> 01:05:43,801
If it is so meaningless
then why are you doing it?
1573
01:05:45,880 --> 01:05:48,804
It's just who I am,
but I'm trying, okay?
1574
01:05:48,880 --> 01:05:51,096
You're not trying, Grey.
1575
01:05:51,120 --> 01:05:53,202
This is not rocket science.
It's sex.
1576
01:05:53,280 --> 01:05:55,362
It d0esn'tjust happen.
That's something you hear
1577
01:05:55,560 --> 01:05:56,096
in a movie.
1578
01:05:56,120 --> 01:05:58,168
Okay, it's not
"I'm walking down the street,
1579
01:05:58,240 --> 01:06:00,163
and my pants fell off
and my dick fell in his mouth."
1580
01:06:00,240 --> 01:06:01,844
All right, quit being
an asshole, okay?
1581
01:06:01,920 --> 01:06:03,649
Yeah, I'm the one
that's being the asshole.
1582
01:06:03,720 --> 01:06:05,848
All rig ht, look.
1583
01:06:05,920 --> 01:06:08,576
I knew there was no way
1584
01:06:08,600 --> 01:06:10,682
I was ever going to be able
to tell you all this...
1585
01:06:16,640 --> 01:06:18,529
so I wrote it down
for you in a letten
1586
01:06:22,880 --> 01:06:24,211
Great.
1587
01:06:24,280 --> 01:06:26,442
You love me.
1588
01:06:26,520 --> 01:06:29,364
You're sorry you're sleeping
with other men,
1589
01:06:29,440 --> 01:06:30,805
and you're writing it
in a letten
1590
01:06:32,800 --> 01:06:35,201
You're breaking my heart here.
I hope you know that.
1591
01:06:35,280 --> 01:06:40,376
Just calm down,
read the letter,
1592
01:06:40,400 --> 01:06:42,448
and call me later, okay?
1593
01:06:42,520 --> 01:06:45,205
Why? You obviously won't have
a problem moving on.
1594
01:06:45,280 --> 01:06:47,016
Hey, don't get like this,
okay?
1595
01:06:47,040 --> 01:06:48,041
D0n't--
1596
01:06:48,120 --> 01:06:49,416
Don't touch me.
1597
01:06:49,440 --> 01:06:51,256
Don't be this way.
1598
01:06:51,280 --> 01:06:52,281
Don't shut down.
1599
01:06:52,360 --> 01:06:55,045
Yeah, just go.
1600
01:06:57,320 --> 01:06:59,004
Just go.
1601
01:07:01,680 --> 01:07:02,761
All right.
1602
01:07:03,960 --> 01:07:04,847
Fine.
1603
01:07:09,120 --> 01:07:10,360
Oh, wait.
1604
01:07:13,800 --> 01:07:15,165
What?
1605
01:07:16,800 --> 01:07:18,016
Hello?
1606
01:07:18,040 --> 01:07:20,691
Why did you sleep“
with those other guys?
1607
01:07:20,760 --> 01:07:23,161
Jesus, Benny,
we're here again?
1608
01:07:23,240 --> 01:07:26,483
Wejust had this conversation
two seconds ago.
1609
01:07:26,560 --> 01:07:28,085
Look, I know you're angry,
1610
01:07:28,160 --> 01:07:29,366
but there is nothing I can say
1611
01:07:29,440 --> 01:07:30,646
that's gonna change your mind
1612
01:07:30,720 --> 01:07:31,926
or fix your broken heart.
1613
01:07:32,000 --> 01:07:35,527
I am trying to be okay
with this.
1614
01:07:35,600 --> 01:07:36,936
You are, you're trying,
1615
01:07:36,960 --> 01:07:38,405
but you're not.
1616
01:07:40,320 --> 01:07:42,129
You're just like me.
1617
01:07:42,200 --> 01:07:44,168
We're two grown men,
and we're both set in our ways.
1618
01:07:47,040 --> 01:07:48,201
I am so sorry.
1619
01:07:48,280 --> 01:07:51,329
I'm not doing this
to be selfish, okay?
1620
01:07:54,040 --> 01:07:56,930
Ijust want you to know
that I can't do this
1621
01:07:57,000 --> 01:07:59,446
knowing that I'm going
to break your heart again.
1622
01:07:59,520 --> 01:08:00,851
Um...
1623
01:08:03,600 --> 01:08:05,762
What?
1624
01:08:05,840 --> 01:08:07,080
You can't even talk
about it now
1625
01:08:07,160 --> 01:08:08,571
when it's the easy stuff.
1626
01:08:08,640 --> 01:08:10,369
What's gonna happen
later on down the road
1627
01:08:10,440 --> 01:08:11,521
when it's the tough stuff?
1628
01:08:11,600 --> 01:08:13,762
I don't want you to go.
1629
01:08:13,840 --> 01:08:16,650
I just don't want you
to sleep with other people.
1630
01:08:16,720 --> 01:08:20,042
Oh, is that all?
1631
01:08:20,120 --> 01:08:21,929
Look, I need someone
1632
01:08:22,000 --> 01:08:25,322
who's going to be truly okay
with this, and it's not you.
1633
01:08:27,320 --> 01:08:30,369
I want you to understand
1634
01:08:30,440 --> 01:08:32,010
I'm not doing this
to hurt you.
1635
01:08:33,680 --> 01:08:35,456
[whispering]
Ben, Ben, God...
1636
01:08:35,480 --> 01:08:36,766
Ben, Ben.
1637
01:08:36,840 --> 01:08:39,411
[both weeping]
1638
01:08:39,480 --> 01:08:41,050
I don't want you to feel
this way.
1639
01:08:43,160 --> 01:08:45,083
I am so sorry.
1640
01:08:47,600 --> 01:08:48,965
You're sorry.
1641
01:08:49,040 --> 01:08:53,364
Y0u-- You are sorry.
1642
01:08:53,440 --> 01:08:54,680
You should go.
1643
01:08:57,080 --> 01:08:59,048
You're right.
You're not going to change,
1644
01:08:59,240 --> 01:09:00,216
and you know what?
1645
01:09:00,240 --> 01:09:01,844
Neither am I.
1646
01:09:01,920 --> 01:09:06,456
Ben, please.
Ben, come on.
1647
01:09:06,480 --> 01:09:07,845
No.
No.
1648
01:09:07,920 --> 01:09:09,843
You know what?
1649
01:09:09,920 --> 01:09:11,046
You're pathetic.
1650
01:09:13,040 --> 01:09:15,327
You're pathetic.
You can't do this?
1651
01:09:16,800 --> 01:09:18,768
I can't do this.
1652
01:09:18,840 --> 01:09:21,127
This is done.
1653
01:09:21,200 --> 01:09:23,336
Okay, did you hear me?
1654
01:09:23,360 --> 01:09:24,576
It's done.
1655
01:09:24,600 --> 01:09:26,090
Don't call me.
1656
01:09:27,480 --> 01:09:29,005
Don't write me.
1657
01:09:31,320 --> 01:09:32,731
Just go.
1658
01:09:35,240 --> 01:09:36,480
Please, just go.
1659
01:09:39,840 --> 01:09:41,205
[whispers]
Ben, please--
1660
01:09:41,280 --> 01:09:42,964
Just go.
1661
01:09:43,040 --> 01:09:45,486
Get out of my house.
1662
01:09:50,960 --> 01:09:52,689
[weeping]
1663
01:10:09,720 --> 01:10:10,881
Fuck.
1664
01:10:31,480 --> 01:10:33,847
There he is.
He's right there.
1665
01:10:33,920 --> 01:10:35,081
Oh, he looks cute.
1666
01:10:35,160 --> 01:10:36,571
Ben, over here.
1667
01:10:38,360 --> 01:10:39,691
Hi.
1668
01:10:39,760 --> 01:10:41,216
Ben, this is Gage.
Gage, Ben.
1669
01:10:41,240 --> 01:10:42,685
Hi.
Hi.
1670
01:10:45,680 --> 01:10:47,523
You know this is
a total set up, right?
1671
01:10:47,600 --> 01:10:49,204
No, no it's not.
1672
01:10:49,280 --> 01:10:51,203
It's okay.
1673
01:10:51,280 --> 01:10:52,850
You didn't tell me
your friend was this handsome.
1674
01:10:52,920 --> 01:10:53,967
I know, right?
1675
01:10:54,040 --> 01:10:55,530
That's why he's
my gay boyfriend.
1676
01:10:55,600 --> 01:10:57,523
So, Gage, does Callie
do this to you often,
1677
01:10:57,600 --> 01:10:58,931
the whole set up thing?
1678
01:10:59,000 --> 01:11:01,207
Every chance she gets.
1679
01:11:01,280 --> 01:11:02,725
Glad to know
I'm not the only one.
1680
01:11:02,800 --> 01:11:04,848
0h, my,
I thinkl have to go.
1681
01:11:04,920 --> 01:11:06,445
I have an appointment.
1682
01:11:06,520 --> 01:11:07,726
No, you don't.
1683
01:11:07,800 --> 01:11:08,323
I do.
I gotta go.
1684
01:11:08,520 --> 01:11:08,964
You don't.
1685
01:11:09,160 --> 01:11:10,844
I d0--
Oh. No.
1686
01:11:11,040 --> 01:11:12,405
What's wrong with you?
1687
01:11:13,720 --> 01:11:15,290
Don't turn around.
1688
01:11:15,360 --> 01:11:16,441
Why not?
1689
01:11:16,520 --> 01:11:17,726
Are you guys OKBY?
1690
01:11:18,920 --> 01:11:20,445
Grey is right behind you.
1691
01:11:20,520 --> 01:11:22,090
Who's Grey?
1692
01:11:22,160 --> 01:11:23,456
Nobody.
1693
01:11:23,480 --> 01:11:24,686
Are you okay?
1694
01:11:24,760 --> 01:11:26,125
I'm fine.
Let's just order
1695
01:11:26,200 --> 01:11:28,282
No, I think we should justgo.
1696
01:11:28,360 --> 01:11:30,522
Look, I'm fine.
Let's just order, okay?
1697
01:11:30,720 --> 01:11:33,849
We'll go somewhere else.
It's fine. It's fine--
1698
01:11:34,000 --> 01:11:36,606
Hi guys, um...
1699
01:11:36,680 --> 01:11:38,205
sorry, I didn't wanna make
this awkward,
1700
01:11:38,280 --> 01:11:40,169
so I decided to come over here
1701
01:11:40,240 --> 01:11:43,289
and make it more awkward.
1702
01:11:43,360 --> 01:11:44,616
Hi, Callie.
1703
01:11:44,640 --> 01:11:45,721
Yeah, hi.
1704
01:11:45,800 --> 01:11:47,006
Have you met Gage?
1705
01:11:47,080 --> 01:11:48,216
This is Ben's new boyfriend?
1706
01:11:48,240 --> 01:11:49,287
What?
1707
01:11:49,360 --> 01:11:51,362
Yeah, they're in love,
so you can leave.
1708
01:11:51,440 --> 01:11:52,851
Thanks.
1709
01:11:52,920 --> 01:11:54,968
Not my new boyfriend.
1710
01:11:55,040 --> 01:11:58,487
Callie.
1711
01:11:58,560 --> 01:12:00,961
Do you mind if we talk alone
for a minute?
1712
01:12:01,040 --> 01:12:04,487
Ben, you don't have to give him
the time of day.
1713
01:12:06,880 --> 01:12:08,530
Callie, just give me a minute.
1714
01:12:10,320 --> 01:12:11,446
I'm sorry.
1715
01:12:16,480 --> 01:12:19,529
Just for the record,
I think you suck.
1716
01:12:19,600 --> 01:12:22,016
Ben is a hell ofa guy.
1717
01:12:22,040 --> 01:12:23,405
Ben, we'll be right out front.
1718
01:12:31,120 --> 01:12:32,281
Mind ifl have a seat?
1719
01:12:32,360 --> 01:12:33,805
Fine.
1720
01:12:39,480 --> 01:12:41,164
So how have you been?
1721
01:12:41,240 --> 01:12:42,536
Fine. And you?
1722
01:12:42,560 --> 01:12:44,244
Fine.
1723
01:12:45,760 --> 01:12:48,081
Actually, completely miserable.
1724
01:12:49,280 --> 01:12:51,216
What do you want, Grey?
1725
01:12:51,240 --> 01:12:52,605
I called you,
like, a dozen times
1726
01:12:52,680 --> 01:12:53,966
and you didn't return
onecal
1727
01:12:54,040 --> 01:12:55,087
Okay, I know.
1728
01:12:55,160 --> 01:12:56,286
I should have called, but--
1729
01:12:56,360 --> 01:12:58,656
Yeah, but you didn't call.
1730
01:12:58,680 --> 01:13:01,126
You know I'm seeing
a therapist now?
1731
01:13:01,200 --> 01:13:03,726
They agree with my friends.
You're not that good for me.
1732
01:13:05,520 --> 01:13:07,921
Yeah, I know I'm not the easiest
person to get along with here,
1733
01:13:08,000 --> 01:13:09,809
butl really thought we had
something special--
1734
01:13:09,880 --> 01:13:13,885
Yeah, I thought so, too,
butl was wrong.
1735
01:13:13,960 --> 01:13:16,336
I still don't want to share you
with anybody.
1736
01:13:16,360 --> 01:13:17,486
I don't think
anything's changed,
1737
01:13:17,560 --> 01:13:18,800
so what's the point?
1738
01:13:18,880 --> 01:13:20,576
The point is I miss you, okay?
1739
01:13:20,600 --> 01:13:22,045
That ship's sailed.
1740
01:13:25,080 --> 01:13:26,206
Really?
1741
01:13:29,800 --> 01:13:31,609
You know whatl don't get?
1742
01:13:31,680 --> 01:13:34,206
I called you fora month.
1743
01:13:34,280 --> 01:13:37,045
You didn't return
one of my calls.
1744
01:13:37,120 --> 01:13:38,565
Now I stop calling,
and all of the sudden
1745
01:13:38,760 --> 01:13:39,496
you're interested.
1746
01:13:39,520 --> 01:13:40,696
You're playing
these head games,
1747
01:13:40,720 --> 01:13:42,370
and, frankly, I deserve
better than that.
1748
01:13:42,440 --> 01:13:44,936
All right, you do.
Okay, I'm sorry.
1749
01:13:44,960 --> 01:13:46,136
I told you from the beginning
1750
01:13:46,160 --> 01:13:47,764
that I am not good
with relati0nships--
1751
01:13:47,840 --> 01:13:50,336
You can stop
with your disclaimers, okay?
1752
01:13:50,360 --> 01:13:52,089
I listened to you,
1753
01:13:52,160 --> 01:13:53,650
and now you can listen to me.
1754
01:13:53,720 --> 01:13:56,883
This, there is nothing here.
It's done.
1755
01:13:58,640 --> 01:13:59,801
You sure?
1756
01:14:06,280 --> 01:14:08,442
N0...
1757
01:14:08,520 --> 01:14:09,856
butl know I can't give you
1758
01:14:09,880 --> 01:14:11,644
the opportunity
to break my heart again.
1759
01:14:14,280 --> 01:14:16,601
I have to go.
1760
01:14:16,680 --> 01:14:17,920
Goodbye.
1761
01:14:21,040 --> 01:14:22,644
[Ben]
Well, I told him we could set
1762
01:14:22,840 --> 01:14:23,762
some ground rules.
1763
01:14:23,840 --> 01:14:25,046
[Man]
And how did that make
1764
01:14:25,240 --> 01:14:25,776
you feel?
1765
01:14:25,800 --> 01:14:29,964
Scared, excited,
I don't know.
1766
01:14:31,400 --> 01:14:33,084
You know he gave me
a letter?
1767
01:14:33,160 --> 01:14:35,162
Broke my heart,
1768
01:14:35,240 --> 01:14:36,924
but, boy, could he kiss.
1769
01:14:37,000 --> 01:14:40,800
Yes, I believe
you mentioned that.
1770
01:14:40,880 --> 01:14:42,644
He's not as bad
as my friends say.
1771
01:14:42,720 --> 01:14:45,371
No?
1772
01:14:45,440 --> 01:14:47,249
I guess I always believed
that I would end up
1773
01:14:47,320 --> 01:14:50,164
with somebody
who really honored monogamy.
1774
01:14:50,240 --> 01:14:51,651
And now?
1775
01:14:51,720 --> 01:14:54,291
How do you feel?
1776
01:14:54,360 --> 01:14:56,840
For me, in relationships,
1777
01:14:56,920 --> 01:14:59,161
honesty is more important
than monogamy.
1778
01:14:59,240 --> 01:15:01,971
That doesn't
answer the question, though.
1779
01:15:02,040 --> 01:15:04,805
I guess I don't really have
an answer to that question.
1780
01:15:04,880 --> 01:15:06,769
You could help me out, though.
1781
01:15:06,840 --> 01:15:09,002
Oh, how is that?
1782
01:15:09,080 --> 01:15:11,162
Well, you could lay
on top of me and kiss me.
1783
01:15:20,440 --> 01:15:21,521
I love you.
1784
01:15:21,600 --> 01:15:22,601
Me, too.
1785
01:15:29,560 --> 01:15:31,403
It's what happens
when you stop judging people
1786
01:15:31,480 --> 01:15:32,641
and accept them
for who they are.
1787
01:15:39,040 --> 01:15:40,417
M' [P0P]
121129
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