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1
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:59,291
He's gonna be surprised.
2
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,612
Hey, man, I can't
wait till Pop gets here.
3
00:01:09,636 --> 00:01:11,796
We can't either.
4
00:01:17,044 --> 00:01:19,822
Hey, Lamont, I think...
5
00:01:19,846 --> 00:01:22,292
I think this dip is ready now.
6
00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:24,294
Hey, let me have it, Jack.
7
00:01:24,318 --> 00:01:25,529
I'll taste it for you.
8
00:01:25,553 --> 00:01:26,896
Oh, no. Not you, Capone.
9
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,032
Capone?
10
00:01:29,056 --> 00:01:30,467
Yeah, I know you.
11
00:01:30,491 --> 00:01:32,971
You'll put the dip in your mouth
and the spoon in your pocket.
12
00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:35,672
Try this out, Lamont.
13
00:01:35,696 --> 00:01:37,140
Hey, what is it, Grady?
14
00:01:37,164 --> 00:01:39,576
Oh, that's, uh, a
sour cream base
15
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:45,515
with chopped sour...
pickles, chopped sauerkraut,
16
00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:48,785
chopped sweet-and-sour
ham hocks,
17
00:01:48,809 --> 00:01:54,891
and my special
secret sour-soul sauce.
18
00:01:54,915 --> 00:01:57,727
Grady, would those
bandages on your fingers
19
00:01:57,751 --> 00:01:59,096
happen to have anything to do
20
00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:02,299
with your special
secret sour-soul sauce?
21
00:02:02,323 --> 00:02:06,236
Oh, yeah. They
stop the flow of it.
22
00:02:06,260 --> 00:02:07,937
Take it in the kitchen
23
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:09,973
and dump it in the garbage.
24
00:02:09,997 --> 00:02:10,974
In the kitchen?
25
00:02:10,998 --> 00:02:11,975
In the kitchen.
26
00:02:11,999 --> 00:02:13,477
In the garbage? In the garbage.
27
00:02:13,501 --> 00:02:15,712
Oh, now, I been really
working on this, Lamont.
28
00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:18,615
I mean, what a waste of sour!
29
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:21,151
You don't look the
same to me, Donna.
30
00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:22,152
What is it?
31
00:02:22,176 --> 00:02:23,453
Don't tell me.
32
00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,622
You've gotten old.
33
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:27,513
Haven't we all?
34
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,516
And fast.
35
00:02:32,386 --> 00:02:34,564
I know you don't
like me, Esther.
36
00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:36,266
You never have.
37
00:02:36,290 --> 00:02:38,168
Ever since Fred
and I got engaged,
38
00:02:38,192 --> 00:02:39,536
but I understand that.
39
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,505
After all, he was
married to your sister
40
00:02:41,529 --> 00:02:44,907
and it's natural for you to feel
that no one can take her place.
41
00:02:44,931 --> 00:02:48,011
So, I'm not offended
by your remarks,
42
00:02:48,035 --> 00:02:51,047
and will not answer
you back... Cow!
43
00:02:51,071 --> 00:02:52,382
Cow?
44
00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:54,384
Hey, hey, hey, hey! Hey,
hold it down. He's coming.
45
00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:56,019
He's coming? He's coming!
46
00:02:56,043 --> 00:02:57,487
Everybody, hide!
47
00:02:57,511 --> 00:03:00,412
Look, I'll turn out the lights.
Everybody, find a place.
48
00:03:04,985 --> 00:03:06,351
Surprise!
49
00:03:10,724 --> 00:03:13,692
I locked myself
out of the kitchen...
50
00:03:15,429 --> 00:03:17,374
But that was nice of you all
51
00:03:17,398 --> 00:03:20,377
to surprise me
like that, though.
52
00:03:20,401 --> 00:03:22,078
Where's my presents?
53
00:03:22,102 --> 00:03:24,013
Hey, hey, hey. Hey, wait.
54
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,848
Hey, man, his car showed up!
55
00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:27,016
Okay, look.
56
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,285
It's an airport limousine.
57
00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:29,386
Everybody, find a place to hide.
58
00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:31,321
He's here! he's here!
59
00:03:31,345 --> 00:03:32,355
Everybody, be quiet. Shh, shh.
60
00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:33,856
Ow!
61
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:36,926
Grady, would you shut
up and get behind the sofa?
62
00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:38,027
Who did that?
63
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,229
Well, I'm sorry, Esther.
64
00:03:39,253 --> 00:03:43,300
I thought you was the sofa.
65
00:03:43,324 --> 00:03:45,890
Would you keep it
down? Just be quiet. Shh.
66
00:03:50,698 --> 00:03:51,698
Surprise!
67
00:04:07,348 --> 00:04:10,594
Hey, welcome home, Pop.
68
00:04:10,618 --> 00:04:12,962
Oh, Fred!
69
00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:14,297
Oh, Fred.
70
00:04:14,321 --> 00:04:17,400
Please, Esther.
71
00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:19,936
My two favorite ladies
out of the fairy tale...
72
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,037
Well!
73
00:04:21,061 --> 00:04:24,941
Beauty... and the Beast.
74
00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:27,043
Why you want to insult
me, Fred Sanford?
75
00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:28,978
I didn't insult you.
76
00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:30,347
Now, I could've called you
77
00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:32,482
a pimple-headed
evil-doing heathen,
78
00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:33,617
but I didn't.
79
00:04:33,641 --> 00:04:35,619
That's right, Fred. She didn't.
80
00:04:35,643 --> 00:04:37,053
And I could've called you
81
00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:41,658
a frog-eyed fish-eating
fool, but I didn't!
82
00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:43,627
And I could've called you
83
00:04:43,651 --> 00:04:46,829
a monkey-faced
fat-bottom gorilla,
84
00:04:46,853 --> 00:04:50,032
but I didn't... So, now, I will,
85
00:04:50,056 --> 00:04:52,335
you fat-bottom
gorilla-faced ape!
86
00:04:52,359 --> 00:04:53,737
Oh!
87
00:04:53,761 --> 00:04:55,572
Now, wait a minute.
Now, wait a minute, now.
88
00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:57,507
This is a... Aunt Esther.
89
00:04:57,531 --> 00:04:59,008
This is a welcome-home party.
90
00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:01,978
Everybody's here
to have a good time.
91
00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:06,650
What it is, Pops?
92
00:05:06,674 --> 00:05:09,218
Ask your mama what it is.
93
00:05:09,242 --> 00:05:11,187
I bet she don't even know.
94
00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:12,989
Come on, Pops. Cheers.
95
00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:13,990
Cheers?
96
00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:15,057
Is that what you want?
97
00:05:15,081 --> 00:05:16,459
Yippie-yippie, yay-yay.
98
00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:19,929
Look who got out of jail today!
99
00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:21,765
Come on, Pops.
100
00:05:21,789 --> 00:05:23,433
You want some more?
101
00:05:23,457 --> 00:05:24,634
Do you?
102
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,636
All right. Bim, bam, boom!
103
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:29,839
Somebody get this
nigger out of my room!
104
00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:32,742
Hey, man. Come on.
105
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:34,411
Come on.
106
00:05:34,435 --> 00:05:36,579
Let bygones be bygones, man.
107
00:05:36,603 --> 00:05:39,716
No, let's let goodbyes,
be good-byes.
108
00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:41,017
Goodbye.
109
00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:43,386
Hey, Fred.
110
00:05:43,410 --> 00:05:45,021
It's nice seeing you, man.
111
00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:47,056
Yeah, and it's good
to see you, Bubba.
112
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:48,224
It's good your old lady
113
00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:49,626
let you out of
the house tonight.
114
00:05:49,650 --> 00:05:52,295
Oh, man, she didn't
let me out the house.
115
00:05:52,319 --> 00:05:54,664
I ducked out the
house on my own.
116
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:56,433
I ducked the frying pan.
117
00:05:56,457 --> 00:05:59,524
I ducked three plates,
and even ducked the cat.
118
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:03,039
Say, Pop, tell us
about St. Louis.
119
00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:05,208
Yeah, yeah, tell us about it.
120
00:06:05,232 --> 00:06:06,643
All right, wait a minute.
121
00:06:06,667 --> 00:06:08,378
St. Louis was just
great. Hey, hey, Rollo.
122
00:06:08,402 --> 00:06:10,380
Give me that small
brown bag over there.
123
00:06:10,404 --> 00:06:12,515
I bought presents for everybody.
124
00:06:16,443 --> 00:06:18,154
You got a present
for me too, Fred?
125
00:06:18,178 --> 00:06:19,489
Yeah. Yeah, Grady.
126
00:06:19,513 --> 00:06:20,824
I got yours first
127
00:06:20,848 --> 00:06:23,092
because you been taking
such good care of my son.
128
00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:24,561
Aw, you didn't have to do that.
129
00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:25,962
I wasn't expecting anything.
130
00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:28,030
What'd you get me?
131
00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:31,456
St. Louis bunion pads.
132
00:06:33,293 --> 00:06:34,937
Well, I... I really...
133
00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:36,138
I'm gonna put those on now.
134
00:06:36,162 --> 00:06:37,306
I need them.
135
00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:39,709
Grady, Grady... Don't
take your shoes off.
136
00:06:41,502 --> 00:06:42,812
Please don't take
your shoes off.
137
00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:44,313
And Donna, honey,
here's something for you.
138
00:06:44,337 --> 00:06:47,384
Oh... Oh. Aw... Open it.
139
00:06:47,408 --> 00:06:48,551
See there?
140
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:50,520
If you get a watch,
you can put it in there.
141
00:06:50,544 --> 00:06:52,584
That's cruel, Fred.
142
00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:58,862
Wait a minute, I
was just kidding.
143
00:06:58,886 --> 00:06:59,996
I was just kidding, honey.
144
00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:01,464
Here's the watch.
145
00:07:01,488 --> 00:07:02,999
Oh! Whoa. Look at that watch.
146
00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:05,067
It's beautiful! Look, Esther!
147
00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:06,536
Wow.
148
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:09,439
Yes, look. It's exactly 2.49.
149
00:07:09,463 --> 00:07:13,476
Wow... Are you
kidding? It must be 6:00.
150
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:15,812
I wasn't looking
at the time, Fred.
151
00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:17,280
I was looking at the price tag.
152
00:07:17,304 --> 00:07:18,715
Oh!
153
00:07:18,739 --> 00:07:22,641
Well, get your face away
from it before it stops.
154
00:07:24,210 --> 00:07:26,290
I even got something
here for you, Esther.
155
00:07:27,213 --> 00:07:30,493
Here.
156
00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:32,995
That's just a clear
piece of plastic.
157
00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:34,964
No, it ain't. Put
it up to your face.
158
00:07:34,988 --> 00:07:37,589
That's your Halloween mask.
159
00:07:41,662 --> 00:07:42,672
Hey, Pop...
160
00:07:42,696 --> 00:07:44,240
Would you leave
Aunt Esther alone?
161
00:07:44,264 --> 00:07:46,142
It would be a pleasure.
162
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:47,343
Aunt Esther, would
you like a drink?
163
00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:48,344
She wouldn't want a drink.
164
00:07:48,368 --> 00:07:50,012
Why wouldn't I want a drink?
165
00:07:50,036 --> 00:07:52,549
Because you are
a drink... A Zombie.
166
00:07:52,573 --> 00:07:54,483
That's it!
167
00:07:54,507 --> 00:07:56,352
Hey, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
168
00:07:56,376 --> 00:07:58,120
Come on, now.
169
00:07:58,144 --> 00:07:59,322
Say, son, I almost forgot.
170
00:07:59,346 --> 00:08:00,990
I got you a present too.
171
00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:04,761
Me? Hey... Got you a
quadraphonic stereo.
172
00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:06,295
All right! Yeah.
173
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,353
Here.
174
00:08:12,258 --> 00:08:14,571
You wanna trade?
175
00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:16,005
Hey, man.
176
00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:18,007
You need an airplane
for these to work.
177
00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:19,108
No, you don't.
178
00:08:19,132 --> 00:08:20,577
Hey, plug it on
in there. Listen.
179
00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:23,913
♪ And I would be
sure That this is ♪
180
00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:26,483
♪ Love beyond compare? ♪♪
181
00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:29,352
What kind of present
is this to give your son?
182
00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:33,790
That's him... cheap cheap,
cheap, cheap, cheap.
183
00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:35,091
Listen to that...
184
00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:37,727
The voice of a chicken
coming out of a buzzard.
185
00:08:39,987 --> 00:08:42,547
Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
186
00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:44,590
Oh!
187
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:49,238
I hope you're proud
of yourself, Pop.
188
00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:50,540
All your friends come over here
189
00:08:50,564 --> 00:08:52,174
to give you a welcome-home party
190
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:53,943
and you have to start a fight.
191
00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:55,211
I wasn't none of my fault.
192
00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:57,146
Esther started
all that rigmarole.
193
00:08:57,170 --> 00:08:58,848
She threw the first punch.
194
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:01,017
Yeah, Pop, but you
called her a zombie.
195
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,720
I should've called
her a gorilla.
196
00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:06,523
That's what she is... a gorilla.
197
00:09:06,547 --> 00:09:09,291
She looks like Mighty
Joe Young's sister...
198
00:09:09,315 --> 00:09:11,528
Mighty ugly.
199
00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:13,295
Are you gonna help
me clean up this mess
200
00:09:13,319 --> 00:09:14,664
or are you just gonna sit there?
201
00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:15,832
Okay, okay.
202
00:09:15,856 --> 00:09:17,166
I'll help you,
203
00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:19,168
but first I gotta
get into something
204
00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:21,604
that's comfortable... my bed.
205
00:09:21,628 --> 00:09:23,907
Good night.
206
00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:25,942
Come on, Pop. Help
me clean up, man.
207
00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:27,577
Well, get Grady to help you.
208
00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:29,311
Grady? Grady's no help.
209
00:09:29,335 --> 00:09:31,948
You said he took care of
you all the time I was gone.
210
00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:33,149
Yeah, well, Grady's a nice guy
211
00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:34,283
and a good friend and all that,
212
00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:35,384
but Grady's no help.
213
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:36,819
Okay, I'll change
and come back down.
214
00:09:36,843 --> 00:09:38,710
Thank you very much.
215
00:09:51,157 --> 00:09:53,903
Hey, Grady, where...
Where you going?
216
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:55,304
I'm leaving.
217
00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:56,338
Leaving?
218
00:09:56,362 --> 00:09:59,676
Leaving, leaving, leaving.
219
00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:03,913
Leaving... L-E-E-V-I-N.
220
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,815
Leaving!
221
00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:07,416
Hey, Grady, it's the
middle of the night.
222
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:08,417
What's the matter with you?
223
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:09,619
Nothing is the matter with me,
224
00:10:09,643 --> 00:10:10,753
especially my ears.
225
00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:12,989
I heard what you
told your father.
226
00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:15,592
Oh, that! Well, look...
No, I don't want...
227
00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:16,993
I don't want to hear no excuses.
228
00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:17,994
I heard what you said.
229
00:10:18,018 --> 00:10:19,195
Look, Grady.
230
00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:20,496
Come on in the
kitchen for a minute.
231
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:21,698
I want to talk to you.
232
00:10:21,722 --> 00:10:22,999
I don't wanna go in the kitchen.
233
00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:24,000
I'm leaving. It's an insult.
234
00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:26,903
I don't wanna... Just
come in the kitchen.
235
00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:28,705
No, I don't want
Pop to hear this.
236
00:10:28,729 --> 00:10:30,539
Well, why you don't
want him to hear?
237
00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:31,540
Come on, man.
238
00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:33,810
Just sit down over here, okay?
239
00:10:33,834 --> 00:10:35,377
Now, you see, Pop's
upstairs changing.
240
00:10:35,401 --> 00:10:36,846
I don't want him to hear this.
241
00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:38,247
Do you know why I told Pop
242
00:10:38,271 --> 00:10:40,583
that you're no
help to me, Grady?
243
00:10:40,607 --> 00:10:41,851
Yeah, because you don't think
244
00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:43,920
I'm any help to you.
245
00:10:43,944 --> 00:10:46,288
No, man, that's what
I wanted him to think.
246
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:48,524
Why do you want
him to think that?
247
00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:50,526
So he would feel better.
248
00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:52,361
How's that gonna
make him feel better,
249
00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:53,796
knowing that his best friend
250
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,531
couldn't take care
of his only son
251
00:10:55,555 --> 00:10:57,166
while he was away?
252
00:10:57,190 --> 00:11:00,903
Grady, Pop likes to feel
that he's the only person
253
00:11:00,927 --> 00:11:02,972
that can run this place
and take care of me.
254
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,040
So?
255
00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:05,474
I couldn't tell him
the truth, Grady,
256
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:06,676
That you could run the place
257
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:08,945
and take care of me
just as good as he can.
258
00:11:08,969 --> 00:11:12,015
Are you... You really mean that?
259
00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:13,883
Of course I mean that, man.
260
00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:16,986
Oh, now I understand.
261
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:18,587
I understand why you said
262
00:11:18,611 --> 00:11:20,156
I was no help to you...
263
00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:22,291
you wanted to make
him feel important
264
00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:23,926
and better than me.
265
00:11:23,950 --> 00:11:27,997
Oh, yeah... Yeah, yeah...
266
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:29,098
you could have
just told me that.
267
00:11:29,122 --> 00:11:30,833
You know, I...
268
00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:32,769
I understand those
kinds of things.
269
00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:34,403
You wanted to try to make him
270
00:11:34,427 --> 00:11:36,539
feel important
and better than me.
271
00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:37,674
That's right, Grady.
272
00:11:37,698 --> 00:11:39,709
Oh! I see. Yeah, yeah.
273
00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:41,443
Well, you could've
just told that.
274
00:11:41,467 --> 00:11:43,680
You didn't have to...
275
00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:44,847
Just tell me, you know,
276
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:45,982
say that behind my back.
277
00:11:46,006 --> 00:11:47,516
Well, I'm glad you
understand, Grady.
278
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,518
Well, okay. I'm gonna
clean up now then, okay?
279
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:50,586
Yeah, thanks a lot man.
280
00:11:50,610 --> 00:11:53,923
All right... Yeah. Wow.
281
00:11:53,947 --> 00:11:55,692
Hey, Lamont.
282
00:11:55,716 --> 00:11:56,693
Huh?
283
00:11:56,717 --> 00:11:58,795
You weren't lying
to me, were you?
284
00:11:58,819 --> 00:12:01,252
Hey, Grady, look
man... I don't lie.
285
00:12:05,025 --> 00:12:07,403
Well...
286
00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:11,340
Maybe just a little
bit. Just a little bit.
287
00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:12,809
Old crummy Grady...
288
00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:14,977
talking about how he
can run the business
289
00:12:15,001 --> 00:12:16,079
better than me.
290
00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:19,281
Well, he can have it.
291
00:12:19,305 --> 00:12:23,174
He can change Sanford and
Son to "Crummy and Dummy."
292
00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:38,334
Hey, Fred.
293
00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:42,171
Aw... Welcome back, man.
294
00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:44,607
Let me buy you a drink.
295
00:12:44,631 --> 00:12:47,009
Well, maybe a
little one won't hurt.
296
00:12:47,033 --> 00:12:48,377
All right, so what'll it be?
297
00:12:48,401 --> 00:12:50,980
Give me a double-triple.
298
00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:53,382
A double-triple?
299
00:12:53,406 --> 00:12:57,653
Yeah, heavy on the double
and put in some extra triple.
300
00:12:57,677 --> 00:13:01,590
Hey, Fred, why
the long face, man?
301
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:04,014
I just got the short end.
302
00:13:05,551 --> 00:13:07,063
Fred, you crying?
303
00:13:07,087 --> 00:13:08,619
Hey, man, what happened?
304
00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:14,358
My best... my best
friend ran off with my son.
305
00:13:18,999 --> 00:13:21,543
What are you talking about, man?
306
00:13:21,567 --> 00:13:23,045
That lying Grady Wilson.
307
00:13:23,069 --> 00:13:24,546
Grady? Yeah.
308
00:13:24,570 --> 00:13:26,048
What did he do?
309
00:13:26,072 --> 00:13:28,117
He convinced Lamont
that... that he could...
310
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,086
He was a better
business man than me
311
00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:31,520
and he could cook better than me
312
00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:33,355
and he was better
in the yard than me.
313
00:13:33,379 --> 00:13:34,690
Okay, now get to the lying part.
314
00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:37,260
That was the lying part.
315
00:13:37,284 --> 00:13:38,284
Dummy Lamont...
316
00:13:39,619 --> 00:13:41,230
Fred, then you
got to go back there
317
00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:42,865
and assert yourself.
318
00:13:42,889 --> 00:13:44,066
You're right...
319
00:13:44,090 --> 00:13:46,903
I mean, a man's
home is his castle.
320
00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:48,337
Castle!
321
00:13:48,361 --> 00:13:49,772
Right, and you got to show them
322
00:13:49,796 --> 00:13:52,208
that you're the...
You are the king.
323
00:13:52,232 --> 00:13:54,765
I'm the king of my castle!
324
00:13:56,102 --> 00:13:58,848
You show them you
can work twice as hard
325
00:13:58,872 --> 00:14:00,305
as both of them put together.
326
00:14:06,379 --> 00:14:09,247
And twice as long, too.
327
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:13,551
The king is abdicating.
328
00:14:16,389 --> 00:14:18,400
Uh, Fred, you're
not giving in now?
329
00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:19,802
Hell, no. I ain't giving in.
330
00:14:19,826 --> 00:14:21,270
They think they don't need me?
331
00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:22,771
Well, they'll find
out they need me
332
00:14:22,795 --> 00:14:24,406
and I don't need them.
333
00:14:24,430 --> 00:14:25,607
What are you talking about?
334
00:14:25,631 --> 00:14:26,742
They'll see.
335
00:14:26,766 --> 00:14:28,644
Lamont'll see and Grady'll see.
336
00:14:28,668 --> 00:14:30,101
Everybody'll see.
337
00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:41,112
I can't see.
338
00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:44,526
I don't understand it.
339
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:46,762
I just don't understand it.
340
00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:49,232
Lamont, why would
he leave like that?
341
00:14:49,256 --> 00:14:50,566
I don't understand
it either, Donna,
342
00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,001
but I appreciate
you and Aunt Esther
343
00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:53,169
coming over here like this.
344
00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:55,504
Well, misery loves company.
345
00:14:55,528 --> 00:14:57,006
All right, somebody's coming.
346
00:14:57,030 --> 00:15:00,609
Somebody's... Who
is it, Grady? Who is it?
347
00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:02,311
Oh, that's you, Lamont.
348
00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:05,536
That's your reflection
in the window.
349
00:15:09,642 --> 00:15:12,421
No. No, no, no, no.
350
00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:16,047
Oh... Oh, Fred!
351
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:29,272
Help! Call the zoo!
352
00:15:29,296 --> 00:15:30,973
I think I've captured
353
00:15:30,997 --> 00:15:33,542
a gorilla-faced
ugly mo-pottamus!
354
00:15:33,566 --> 00:15:34,576
Watch it, sucker!
355
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:35,611
Now, now, now.
356
00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:37,013
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
357
00:15:37,037 --> 00:15:38,680
I'll go put on a pot of coffee.
358
00:15:38,704 --> 00:15:40,649
Hey, Pop, do you
know what time it is?
359
00:15:40,673 --> 00:15:41,717
Man, where have you been?
360
00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:43,819
Here and there...
361
00:15:43,843 --> 00:15:47,023
to and fro, and hither and yon.
362
00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:49,325
And you've been drinking too.
363
00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:50,492
Right.
364
00:15:50,516 --> 00:15:52,028
Where?
365
00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:55,898
Here, there, fro and to.
366
00:15:55,922 --> 00:15:56,899
Fred Sanford,
367
00:15:56,923 --> 00:15:58,167
you ought to be
ashamed of yourself.
368
00:15:58,191 --> 00:16:01,437
Oh... Just look at
you, Pants all baggy.
369
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:02,805
Face all dirty.
370
00:16:02,829 --> 00:16:05,341
You just a messy fool.
371
00:16:05,365 --> 00:16:09,812
And you just a cessy pool.
372
00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:13,449
Why, you... Esther...
373
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,351
Leave the poor man alone.
374
00:16:15,375 --> 00:16:17,619
Take your hands off me, woman!
375
00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:19,521
Fred, dear, come and sit down.
376
00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:20,622
Let me help you.
377
00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:22,158
Do not. Don't.
378
00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:24,060
Please don't, Donna.
379
00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:26,562
I don't need nobody help...
I don't need nobody at all.
380
00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:30,166
Oh, Pop... Pop! Pop! Pop!
381
00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:32,901
How much did you drink anyway?
382
00:16:32,925 --> 00:16:36,372
♪ How deep Is the ocean ♪
383
00:16:36,396 --> 00:16:39,308
♪ How high is... ♪♪
384
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:40,776
Is...
385
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,045
Hey, what's the
matter with you, Pop?
386
00:16:43,069 --> 00:16:45,014
Ah, there's nothing
wrong with me
387
00:16:45,038 --> 00:16:47,316
giving myself a little
going out-of-town party.
388
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:48,851
Going out-of-town party?
389
00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:50,086
Fred.
390
00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:52,254
Fred, you just got back.
391
00:16:52,278 --> 00:16:53,655
Where are you going?
392
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:55,324
St. Louis!
393
00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:58,627
On the banks of the Mississippi.
394
00:16:58,651 --> 00:17:01,097
♪ M-I-S... ♪
395
00:17:01,121 --> 00:17:03,632
♪ I-S-S... ♪
396
00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:07,191
♪ M-O-U-S-E ♪
397
00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:15,777
♪ Mississippi Mississippi... ♪♪
398
00:17:15,801 --> 00:17:17,213
That's where I'm needed.
399
00:17:17,237 --> 00:17:19,048
You're needed here, Pop.
400
00:17:19,072 --> 00:17:20,316
Nah, you don't need me here.
401
00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:22,485
You got Greedy... Grady.
402
00:17:22,509 --> 00:17:23,919
Yeah.
403
00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:25,354
You got Greedy Grady.
404
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:28,424
Greedy Grady want
my house and my son.
405
00:17:28,448 --> 00:17:31,127
Well, you got it, Greedy Grady.
406
00:17:31,151 --> 00:17:34,630
Goodbye, ex-son... And Donna.
407
00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:36,798
Fred... Now, Fred.
408
00:17:36,822 --> 00:17:38,200
You ain't never
did nothing to me.
409
00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:39,801
I love you. Kiss me, honey.
410
00:17:39,825 --> 00:17:42,804
Lamont, would you do
something about this?
411
00:17:42,828 --> 00:17:45,796
Oh, Donna, you
gonna have to shave!
412
00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:57,386
Hey, Lamont, I can understand
413
00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:59,288
what you trying to do, son,
414
00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:01,524
but I gotta take the bus.
415
00:18:01,548 --> 00:18:02,891
It's too far
416
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:05,749
to ride this horse to St. Louis.
417
00:18:23,236 --> 00:18:26,348
I don't need none of you!
418
00:18:26,372 --> 00:18:28,250
I'm glad to be out of there!
419
00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:29,740
I don't need nothing!
420
00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:35,157
Will you stop
following me around?
421
00:18:35,181 --> 00:18:39,049
I ain't got no hoofs
in these bags.
422
00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:42,965
Look at that.
423
00:18:42,989 --> 00:18:45,856
The couch out in the yard.
424
00:18:49,162 --> 00:18:50,639
Hey, Pop.
425
00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:52,029
Mm...
426
00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:55,444
Hey, Lamont...
427
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:58,880
Lamont, what you
doing in St. Louis?
428
00:18:58,904 --> 00:19:00,349
You're not in St. Louis, Pop.
429
00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:01,350
You're at home.
430
00:19:01,374 --> 00:19:04,620
Huh? Oh... Oh... Hangover?
431
00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:06,722
Ooh... Bad?
432
00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:10,092
Ugh... Can I get
you something for it?
433
00:19:10,116 --> 00:19:11,460
Please. What?
434
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:15,030
A bullet.
435
00:19:15,054 --> 00:19:17,333
Put it right here.
436
00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:20,503
Ahh... I'll fix
something for you, Pop.
437
00:19:20,527 --> 00:19:23,239
No, I'll fix my own stuff.
438
00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:24,706
Oh.
439
00:19:24,730 --> 00:19:26,775
Hey, that's not funny, Lamont.
440
00:19:26,799 --> 00:19:28,210
What's not funny?
441
00:19:28,234 --> 00:19:32,314
You backed that
truck over my head.
442
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:34,283
Come on, let... let me help you.
443
00:19:34,307 --> 00:19:36,051
Okay, just to the kitchen.
444
00:19:36,075 --> 00:19:37,052
All right.
445
00:19:37,076 --> 00:19:40,022
Are we there yet?
446
00:19:40,046 --> 00:19:41,790
No, not yet.
447
00:19:41,814 --> 00:19:43,459
Uh, almost?
448
00:19:43,483 --> 00:19:45,294
Almost, Pop.
449
00:19:45,318 --> 00:19:47,963
Oh, Lamont... Lamont.
450
00:19:47,987 --> 00:19:49,231
What's the matter, Pop?
451
00:19:49,255 --> 00:19:51,467
I just hate to be
a burden to you.
452
00:19:51,491 --> 00:19:53,101
Hey, would you
stop talking like that?
453
00:19:53,125 --> 00:19:56,172
Yeah... "I don't need you, Pop."
454
00:19:56,196 --> 00:19:58,274
I heard you say that
out of your mouth.
455
00:19:58,298 --> 00:19:59,341
I heard you.
456
00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:00,976
I heard you with my own lip.
457
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,200
Ears.
458
00:20:03,469 --> 00:20:05,147
Yeah, yeah, ears.
459
00:20:05,171 --> 00:20:07,249
Hear with ears. Talk with lips.
460
00:20:07,273 --> 00:20:09,485
I'm losing my mind.
461
00:20:09,509 --> 00:20:10,986
You are not losing
your mind, Pop.
462
00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:12,221
You just got a hangover.
463
00:20:12,245 --> 00:20:13,455
Now, come on.
464
00:20:13,479 --> 00:20:15,491
Yeah, and I want you
to help me get rid of it.
465
00:20:15,515 --> 00:20:16,592
All right.
466
00:20:16,616 --> 00:20:18,794
Here, I'm gonna tell you
what I want you to do.
467
00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:20,162
Listen.
468
00:20:20,186 --> 00:20:23,065
Get me some tomato
juice and a raw egg.
469
00:20:23,089 --> 00:20:24,066
Right, Pop.
470
00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:26,868
Ohh... Tomato
juice and a raw egg.
471
00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:30,239
Yeah. Put some of this in here.
472
00:20:30,263 --> 00:20:34,042
And some Tabasco.
473
00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:37,813
Oh, son... Hey,
where's my prune juice?
474
00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:40,549
Your prune juice?
475
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:41,983
Yeah, give me my prune juice.
476
00:20:42,007 --> 00:20:44,687
Ohh... salt and pepper.
477
00:20:49,215 --> 00:20:50,693
Here you go.
478
00:21:00,126 --> 00:21:05,073
Prune juice... Tomato juice.
479
00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:06,275
Oh!
480
00:21:06,299 --> 00:21:08,043
And, son, hand me...
481
00:21:08,067 --> 00:21:09,311
Hand me, over there, son...
482
00:21:09,335 --> 00:21:10,312
Get me the vodka.
483
00:21:10,336 --> 00:21:12,214
The vodka?
484
00:21:12,238 --> 00:21:17,886
Yeah, I just need
a smidgen of vodka.
485
00:21:17,910 --> 00:21:22,380
Now, I need just enough
to wake up the flavor.
486
00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:29,565
What do you call that?
487
00:21:29,589 --> 00:21:31,622
A Bloody Mess.
488
00:21:36,396 --> 00:21:38,507
Now, would you mind telling me
489
00:21:38,531 --> 00:21:42,144
what you heard that
made you so upset?
490
00:21:42,168 --> 00:21:43,646
"I didn't need Pop."
491
00:21:43,670 --> 00:21:45,046
"I didn't miss Pop."
492
00:21:45,070 --> 00:21:47,349
I heard you. Now, don't deny it.
493
00:21:47,373 --> 00:21:49,017
I won't, Pop. Look.
494
00:21:49,041 --> 00:21:51,553
Grady overheard us talking
and he heard me telling you
495
00:21:51,577 --> 00:21:53,322
that I don't need
him around here.
496
00:21:53,346 --> 00:21:54,523
He heard me say that,
497
00:21:54,547 --> 00:21:56,392
and so to keep from
hurting his feelings,
498
00:21:56,416 --> 00:21:58,026
I lied to him and told him
499
00:21:58,050 --> 00:22:00,396
that he was just as important
around here as you are,
500
00:22:00,420 --> 00:22:01,597
and that's the truth, Pop.
501
00:22:01,621 --> 00:22:03,865
Well, how should I know
that you not lying to me
502
00:22:03,889 --> 00:22:06,067
about lying to him
about lying to me?
503
00:22:06,091 --> 00:22:08,837
Say that again?
504
00:22:08,861 --> 00:22:11,239
I can't. Look, Pop.
505
00:22:11,263 --> 00:22:13,875
I need you here. Now,
please, just believe me.
506
00:22:13,899 --> 00:22:15,143
Why should I?
507
00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:16,567
Because I'm your son.
508
00:22:18,738 --> 00:22:20,316
I am your son, aren't I?
509
00:22:20,340 --> 00:22:22,217
Of course. Of course you my son.
510
00:22:22,241 --> 00:22:26,109
Why else would you be
around here 32 years free?
511
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:29,358
Look, all I was trying to do
512
00:22:29,382 --> 00:22:30,559
was make Grady feel good, Pop,
513
00:22:30,583 --> 00:22:31,560
and if that was wrong,
514
00:22:31,584 --> 00:22:33,028
then it's not my fault,
515
00:22:33,052 --> 00:22:34,797
it's your fault, because
you always told me
516
00:22:34,821 --> 00:22:37,032
that I should be concerned
about other people's feelings,
517
00:22:37,056 --> 00:22:39,735
and you gave
warmth and sensitivity.
518
00:22:39,759 --> 00:22:41,370
Well, if I gave
you all that stuff,
519
00:22:41,394 --> 00:22:44,906
I ain't got none
left for myself.
520
00:22:44,930 --> 00:22:46,074
So do you believe me, Pop?
521
00:22:46,098 --> 00:22:47,075
I believe you.
522
00:22:47,099 --> 00:22:48,076
Hey, thanks a lot.
523
00:22:48,100 --> 00:22:49,277
And I'm sorry
524
00:22:49,301 --> 00:22:50,912
that I ruined the
party last night, son.
525
00:22:50,936 --> 00:22:52,881
Oh, that's okay,
Pop, but in the future,
526
00:22:52,905 --> 00:22:54,750
when Aunt Esther and
your friends come over here,
527
00:22:54,774 --> 00:22:57,085
just try to be a little
more understanding.
528
00:22:57,109 --> 00:22:58,454
I will.
529
00:22:58,478 --> 00:22:59,455
And a little kinder?
530
00:22:59,479 --> 00:23:00,456
I sure will.
531
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:01,790
What this stuff taste like?
532
00:23:01,814 --> 00:23:02,958
What does it taste like?
533
00:23:02,982 --> 00:23:05,361
Did you ever taste castor oil?
534
00:23:05,385 --> 00:23:09,965
And clava, and
spoiled pigs' snoot?
535
00:23:09,989 --> 00:23:11,834
Well, mix that all together
536
00:23:11,858 --> 00:23:13,869
and spread with Raid
537
00:23:13,893 --> 00:23:16,805
and throw in some
of Grady's socks...
538
00:23:16,829 --> 00:23:19,575
and Aunt Esther's face...
539
00:23:19,599 --> 00:23:20,898
That's what it taste like.
540
00:23:25,671 --> 00:23:28,650
But, son, my headache's gone...
541
00:23:28,674 --> 00:23:30,674
to my stomach.
542
00:23:43,055 --> 00:23:45,166
Hey, Pop, you feel any better?
543
00:23:45,190 --> 00:23:47,703
Will you stop shouting?
544
00:23:47,727 --> 00:23:50,171
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
545
00:23:50,195 --> 00:23:51,673
You know what, son?
546
00:23:51,697 --> 00:23:53,341
I'm gonna show you that I
can cook better than Grady.
547
00:23:53,365 --> 00:23:54,410
Hey, man, you ain't got
548
00:23:54,434 --> 00:23:56,177
to prove nothing to
me. You're my Pop.
549
00:23:56,201 --> 00:23:58,614
I know that, but I
learned something today.
550
00:23:58,638 --> 00:24:00,582
To give instead of take.
551
00:24:00,606 --> 00:24:02,117
I learned to be a
giver, not a taker.
552
00:24:02,141 --> 00:24:04,219
That's the way I like
to hear my old man talk.
553
00:24:04,243 --> 00:24:05,854
And you know what?
I'm gonna start tonight.
554
00:24:05,878 --> 00:24:07,456
I'm gonna cook you
a great big turkey
555
00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:10,292
with two kind of sausages
and three kinds of vegetables.
556
00:24:10,316 --> 00:24:11,493
Hey, man, a meal like that
557
00:24:11,517 --> 00:24:12,961
will cost a fortune.
558
00:24:12,985 --> 00:24:15,163
It would be cheaper for
me to take you out to dinner.
559
00:24:15,187 --> 00:24:16,698
No, that would
make you the giver
560
00:24:16,722 --> 00:24:17,933
and me the taker.
561
00:24:17,957 --> 00:24:20,569
See, I'm gonna be the
giver and you the taker.
562
00:24:20,593 --> 00:24:22,003
Yeah, but it's too late
563
00:24:22,027 --> 00:24:24,005
for you to start cooking
a meal like that, Pop.
564
00:24:24,029 --> 00:24:25,808
Hey, I know, I'll call
up Jacob's Soul Food
565
00:24:25,832 --> 00:24:27,509
and tell them I'm gonna
bring you over there
566
00:24:27,533 --> 00:24:28,577
for dinner around 8:00.
567
00:24:28,601 --> 00:24:32,470
I told them we'd
be there at 7:00.
38143
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