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What beast was't, then,
that made you break this
enterprise to me?

I have given suck,

and know how tender 'tis to
love the babe that milks me.

I would, while it was smiling
in my face,

have pluck'd my nipple
from its boneless gums

and dash'd the brains out,
had I so sworn as you
have done to this.

-If we should fail...
-We fail!

But screw your courage
to the sticking-place,
and we'll not fail.

When Duncan is asleep,

whereto the rather shall his
hard day's journey,
soundly invite him...

Oh hold it! Hold it!
Just stop there, okay?
Excuse me.

What are you doing?
What is that?

Are you going to shoot off the
gun, wake up all the guards?
That's logical.

-We thought it would raise
the stakes.

Get a dagger, for Christ's
sake. This is Shakespeare,
it's not the Sopranos.

Or, better yet,
trust the words.

Let the words do their job.
Hear what you're saying.

"I have given suck, and know
how tender 'tis

"to love the babe
that milks me

"I would,
while it was smiling
in my face

"Have pluck'd my nipple
from his boneless gums

"And dash'd the brains out,
had I so sworn as you
have done to this."

That is horrendous!

She is saying that she would
kill her own child
to get what she wants.

It's unspeakable!
But she's passionate.

Passion.
Passion! Passion!
Where's your passion?

These people are burning.
These are fiery people!

Now, I know that it's
difficult for us
to get that today

because we are not
fiery people. We are...

We're not even people of ice.

We are tepid voyeurs.
I mean, we are tap water.

For example, if I should
find out that my

husband is sleeping with
somebody else,
what do I do?

Nothing.

No, I'd go about my work,
I'd go about my business,

I'd cry into my
Starbucks soy latte.

I mean, that is the problem
with us today.

We can't remember
what it's like to be...

...consumed with desire.

We have forgotten passion.

Time's up, I'll see you all
next Tuesday,
and for Christ's sake,

take a risk, sometime
this weekend! Bah!

Thanks.

You know, I'm officially
obsessed about the Korean
grocer across the street.

Yeah I couldn't tell.
Do you have enough
pictures of that guy?

I'm trying to figure out
when he sleeps. He's there
24 hours a day.

-It's kind of creepy actually.
-Well, maybe only you
can see him.

I'll miss him.

Nothing's decided.
You might stay.
Do you want your coffee?

I need to shoot him from
a higher angle. I'm going up
to the roof tomorrow.

I don't think we have access.

You know, if we do leave
New York,
the terrorists win.

Well then they should move the
terrorists here and let them
pay New York rent.

That'll get rid of them fast.
Oh, have you checked e-mail
from your Mom?

-Um, I think it's
your wedding gown?

It has leaves and vines
growing out of it.

I need a cigarette.
I'm going to kill her.

The one thing I leave
up to her.

Who is this person
that she hired?

Barbara...
Some costume designer.

-Uh huh.
A Midsummer Night's Dream

-I was kidding. Is she going
to design me a leotard?
-If you're lucky.

-Did you hear the phone ring
at 3:15 a.m.?
-No, I never hear it.

It was Sadie. Doesn't know if
she can be a bridesmaid
in good conscience.

-Yeah, you and I were drowning
in some soup.

Leek...
And Tootie from
The Facts of Life was there.

I like Tootie.

Are you listening?
Baby, why is everybody
so crazy?

I don't know, babe.

We threw away all the
cigarettes? We don't save any
for emergencies?

I'll draw you a picture of
a cigarette and you can
lick the page.

I gotta go.
I've got other people's
weddings to deal with.

I'll call you from the office.

-Take the walkie-talkie.
-Yes ma'am.

In case I miss work.

Well, don't forget
we have the rabbi at five.

I know. Good bye.
Can I have some?

I hate Pop-Tarts.
Bye!

RABBI: May there ever be heard
in the cities and streets
of the world

the jubilant voices of
young people
feasting and singing.

Blessed art Thou, our Lord,
who causes the bridegroom
to rejoice with his bride.

Barukh attah Adonai

m'sameach chatan

'im ha-kallah.

I now pronounce you
husband and wife.

Mazel tov!

-Hi, Jenny.
-Good morning.

Wait, let me guess.
Marshall.

What up?

Did I ever tell you that uh...

Isabel is
incredibly fucking hot?

Yeah. You did.

Dude, what is she doing
with you?

Dude, what are you doing
in my office?

Mail for you from Wednesday.
New girl accidentally
put it on my desk.

What's her face

-Oh. She's not the
brightest bulb.

-She's cute, though.
-Yeah, I guess.

You guess
You're not dead yet. You can
still look, you know.

Shit.

Wow.
I haven't seen one of these
since I was 12.

Breaker, breaker.
Check, check.

Dude, get a cellphone.

Isabel.

Mark!

-Looking for you.

So I stopped by Bosco studio.
They said you were working
here, so I thought,

"Why not stop by?"

It's been forever.

Yeah. And a day.

Can I walk you out?

Yeah.

So, tell me how you are.

Things are good.
I can't complain.

How about you?
You're, what, married?

In a month.

Thank God there's still time.
Who is he?

Jonathan, from Yale.
You met him a couple of times.

Mmmm. How does the ring feel?

Heavy.

So, what, you're going to move
to Connecticut, get the SUV,
the golden retrievers?

Darkroom, maybe,
if we get a house.

So you're really going to
go through with this?

Yeah. I mean, maybe not
the suburbs. That's still in
negotiations.

But yeah.

-I've been following
your work.

-You know I still work
for the Times magazine.

Yes, I say your piece on the
DNA and serial killers.
It was...charming.

Well, now we're doing a piece
on Eastern Europe, and the
fallout from

the transition from Communism,
that sort of thing.

So we're putting together
a team of photographers
and writers

to go around and document.

But a photographer's dropped
out, so I thought this might
be your kind of gig.

-Sounds amazing!
-Well, I suggested you.

So why don't you come by
later and meet everybody?

Great! Let me get the address.

1350 Chambers Street.

We'll start by getting you
a Palm Pilot.

My Palm Pilot is my palm.

-Well great, so we'll see you
at seven, then.

Thanks.

Thank you for thinking of me.

Well I always think of you.

Taxi!

-Yes.

-Welcome to Vanity Fair.
-Thank you.

-Yes.

I spoke to Benjamin yesterday
in London.
Did he tell you?

No, I haven't been able
to get a hold of him.

I've got a brilliant hook
on the piece.

Did you see
the Picasso show at MOMA?
The Master and his Muses

No.

But you see the connection.
Stone, Picasso,

each tremendously influenced
by their lovers.

Their lovers, right.
I suppose that would be
a factor.

Benjamin already sent over a
list of names and phone
numbers,

so that you can put his work
in this kind of a context.

"The Marcus Period,"
"The George Period,"
you've got the idea.

Sorry. Benjamin wants me
to call up all his exes?

Yes exactly. We've already
set up some meetings for you.

The Big Cup. The coffee shop
in Chelsea, you know?

Are you all right?
You look green.

-Can you get me some water,
please.
-It's jet lag.

-Here you go.
-Thank you.

The thing is this, Peter.
This is a very unusual
situation for Vanity Fair.

I mean, we had Dominick Dunne
assigned to this.

But Benjamin felt that he
should be giving you the
opportunity

since you've been working
on his memoirs,

and because you know him
intimately.

Now if you don't feel
comfortable about the
approach we're taking...

It's fine.
It's very comfortable.

Super-duper.

You call Marcie my assistant
for any detail. E-mail us a
draft next week from London

and we get this baby out
in time for the show.

Thank you, Peter.
You're a star.

-Yeah.

Latanya Jenkins

It's a good script, huh?

Yeah it's good.
Honest.

-Yeah except that main guy's
a total jerk.
-Well, he's confused.

Yeah, but it's like,
"Get it together already,"
you know?

-Alec.

All right, we're running
a little late. We're just
waiting for the director.

Rachel?

Tony Frye?

Have you ever worked
with her before?
Diana Lee?

-Mm-hmm.

No, they said Paul somebody?

No, he's nobody, he's just
the writer.

No, this is the big time.
La Diana.

-Yeah.

It's just Diana Lee,
she's the best.

Happy birthday, Mom!

Don't say it. They published
my age in the Post
this morning.

Victimized by the free press
yet again.

-Yes.

So what do you think?

It's very "Titania in the
forest of Ivy."

And you'll be gorgeous.
Now listen, Alan and Lauren
are in

A Midsummer Night's Dream
at the Hartford

and they were just married on
that set which is supposed
to be fabulous,

so I was just thinking...
-Tell me you're kidding.

The forest of Midsummer
Night's Dream? Don't you think
that's romantic?

No, we don't want to change
everything so that we can get
married on the stage

of some regional theater.
It's under control.

-So you have everything
figured out?
-Not everything.

-Let's talk about the dress
later.

Yes, or I'll,
I'll stop by the theater.

Hi.

Paul was wondering if
you've had a chance
to read his script.

Yeah. Yeah. Um, thanks.
I love it. I love it.
It's honest.

The only thing is I had one
question.

I wasn't sure if the character
is gay...

Well, he's gay,
but not gay.

Okay, okay, okay.
I...I got it.

So Diana will be here
in a few minutes,

she's just teaching some
masters classes
up at Juilliard.

-Yeah.

-Could I just use the bathroom
while we're waiting?
-Sure.

ALEC: Hey, it's me. Um...

I hope I'm not interrupting.
I know this is fucked up.

I'm at this big audition
right now and I need this.

I can't keep doing this
fringe bullshit forever.

So whatever, I'm here, and I
just found out that the
director is...

Timbales? What the hell are
timbale

Yeah, that's fine. Whatever
they need as long as they
know it's for the whole night.

All I know is it's
a small fucking world.

Hello, this is a message
for Jonathan Kesler.

My name's Peter Cole, I'm
calling on behalf of
Vanity Fair magazine.

I'm doing a story on the
photographer Benjamin Stone
and he has an exhibition at...

(JONATHAN CLICKS OFF THE
ANSWERING MACHINE)

Hello, this is a message
for Jonathan Kesler.

My name's Peter Cole, I'm
calling on behalf of
Vanity Fair magazine.

I'm doing a story on the
photographer Benjamin Stone
and he has an exhibition

at the Werble Gallery,
and I'd very much like
to interview you.

Hi, yes, I'm calling about the
Benjamin Stone exhibit
that you're opening.

I need to find out which
photographs are going to be
included in this exhibit.

I don't know if there's a
catalog or whatever, but it's
very important

that I find out the contents
of that exhibit.

There may be some
intellectual property issues.

My name is Jonathan Kesler,
917-517-3065.
I'm an attorney.

-No.

I found this pen, and it's
also, like, a little robot
punching guy, see?

That's terrific.
Congratulations.

You got time for a beer
after work? Fridays are
fly day at Garage.

I can't, I've got to
meet Isabel.

Yeah? Got a
big crazy night planned?

Oh yeah, crazy. We're meeting
a rabbi about wedding stuff

and then she's going to be
taking pictures all night.

I dated an actress one time.
Did I ever tell you
about that?

-Yeah, you did.
-She was insane.

-I fucked her in a lighting
booth.
-That's a fascinating story.

Just watch out for those
artsy types. That's
all I'm saying.

ALEC: Take me away.
Take me away from here.

Take me to snowy Africa.
Take me there before I die.

Because nobody cares about
anyone...not anyone.

I get a hard-on for women
out of sheer pity.

I'd like to come back
as a dog,

just to find a little
happiness. A stray
no one would notice

just poking around the bins
to the end of time.

Thank you. Very nice.

Thank you.

-Your jacket is a lovely shade
of green, Alec.
Thank you.

Why don't you come down
while I look at your resume?

We don't bite...

...usually.

Let's see, Juilliard, oh look
at that - you live at
300 West 21st Street.

That's my daughter's building.
What a coincidence.
Do you know my daughter?

Blonde, pretty girl?
-No.

She lives on the third floor
with Jonathan her fiancee.

He's square-jawed and
very serious-looking.

-No, sorry.
-And you're on the fifth.

New York is the
smallest city in the world
when it comes to that.

Six degrees of separation
everywhere else. More like
two in New York.

-Yeah.

What are you doing later?

I have a rehearsal for
the Scottish play. Why don't
you come along? Watch.

There's all sorts of backstage
intrigue. My husband's in
the cast and, well...

like I said small city.
Keeps life exciting.

-Or scary.

I'll call Isabel, and you're
practically neighbors.

You can join us afterwards,
and then I'm having a party.

I...I have plans, actually.

Plans?

Okay. I think that's it.
I've got to go.

You auditioned for my show,
Alec. Why?

It's a great opportunity.

That's right. It's a great
opportunity to move beyond
the fringe festival.

I mean, you strike me as a
serious actor,

and I'd like to introduce you
to other serious
theater professionals.

But, you have plans.
How unfortunate.

Well, um...

Maybe I could come
for a little while.

That's better.

I'll tell you a secret.

You're adorable.

Fuck.

This is Benjamin Stone,
I'm not in, please
leave a message.

Hello?

-Benjamin, someone's calling
for you

Peter someone.

So, I asked you to come down
here because I'm writing an
article on the photographer...

Benjamin Stone. The guy's
bad fucking news.

Could I ask you one or two
questions?

So, what, he's, like,
really famous?

Son-of-a-bitch was sleeping
with my boyfriend.

Ah.

Son-of-a-bitch.

A brilliant photographer, no
question, but the man is
Satan's second coming.

I know, separate the art
from the artist,
Leni Riefenstahl

So, how long have you
been involved with him,
the Marquis de Sade?

Sleep with Benjamin once,
maybe twice,
and you've got to quit.

Shit, it's way past that,
isn't it?

All right. Now it's perfect.
Perfect.

Now we're gonna get...

Why are you doing this? I'm
not on the schedule next week.
We have no weddings?

-I'm in session.
-I'm sorry. I'm not
on the schedule.

-Yeah. You wanted to focus on
your own work.
-I do.

You wanted to cut back on your
hours because of the wedding
and the honeymoon.

Are you firing me?

Are you there?

Hello?

I need you.

What he said is kind of true,
you know. You're not going
to need the job as much.

But I like the job. I mean,
not the Sears Portrait
Studio shit, but...

...knowing it was there.

I mean, I'm not ready for
that. Look at that girl.

She's younger than I am.
She's given everything up.

She probably doesn't
think that.

-I ran into Mark today.

Don't make the face.

Eight million people in New
York and you ran into him?

Whatever, he found me.

He wants to hook me up
with some project the Times is
doing in Eastern Europe.

-I'm supposed to go to
a meeting later.
-A meeting.

-Relax.

All right. Well, just don't
forget we have the rabbi.

How could I forget?
He calls every...

Oh! There's a message on the
machine at home about Benjamin
Stone. Do you know him?

Well, I took a class with him
in London. He called?

-Yeah, but so did 3,000 other
people. It's like a seminar.

He's huge! Annie Leibovitz,
Richard Avedon, Benjamin
Stone. The holy trinity.

You took a class with him?

-All right. I knew this was
coming.

-He sleeps with all
his models, you know.

Yeah, well he's not exactly
my type.
Wait, he called?

No. Some...Peter?
I don't know. I didn't listen
to the whole thing, actually.

So they probably just want
money. Just ignore it.

-Well find out.
-Okay, yes ma'am.

Peter.

Um, Jeremy.

-So how many people are
on this list?
-There are a number of names.

Let me see it. If the man
believed in privacy
he wouldn't be here.

-Are you allowed to smoke
in here?
-No.

So are you and he...?
Because I know Benjamin.

Could this be the new "Peter
Period"? Look, you don't have
to tell me anything,

but the man's a sick fuck
to send you out on an
errand like this.

-I thought it might be a laugh
actually, but...
-But.

Look, there's a bar
across the street.
Let me buy you a beer.

-No, I couldn't.
-You couldn't.

Jesus. He scribbled these
little notes.

Look at this one,
"Shit photographer,
but a good fuck."

Ouch.

What about this one,
have you talked to him yet?
"Heartbreaker"?

Not yet. I've been trying,
but...

There I am.
"Nearly brilliant."

Nearly.
Fucker.

Benjamin can make you feel
like you're the only man in
the world when your with him.

That's what makes
his work so good.

But you're never the only one.

You know what you should
do? You should fuck them.

And I mean that literally.
Fuck them all for revenge.

That's more Benjamin's style
than mine.

Mmmm.
What are you doing later?

I'm going to a party
at Diana Lee's house.
You should come.

Diana Lee? You mean
the actual Diana Lee?

Mm hmm.

What time?

Ten o'clock. And if you're
looking at other ways to get
back at Benjamin,

there's always
after the party.

The raven himself is hoarse,

that croaks the fatal
entrance of Duncan
under my battlements.

Come, you spirits that tend
on mortal thoughts.

Unsex me here,

and fill me from the crown
to the toe

top-full of direst cruelty!

Make thick my blood.

Stop up the access and passage
to remorse,

that no compunctious visitings
of nature...

Henry! I don't know about
this. Do you think this is the
right length for this train?

-I think the train's too long.
-I love the train, I just
don't want to see your feet.

I don't want to stop and
rearrange it all the time, but
I think it'll be okay.

-It looks good to me.

-Yeah, jump ahead,
"Come thick night."
-All right.

Come, thick night,
and pall thee in the
dunnest smoke of hell,

that my keen knife see not
the wound it makes.

Nor heaven peep through the
blanket of the dark
To cry, "Hold, hold!"

Where are you going?

I'm sorry, I have a
costume fitting that I
forgot about.

Oh, the Fringe festival.
-The Fringe festival.

Well, come to the party later.
My place, 59 Bethune Street.

Okay, I will.

Thank you, for this.
This is, ah...You're amazing.

Thank you.

DIANA: What?

You remember the Fringe
festival, Henry.
Don't give me that look.

-Yeah.

Look at you.

It's good to see you,
Jonathan.

You know, kid, you were
this tall the last time
I saw you.

-She's good, she's good.
She says hello.

-So, I wanted you to come in
before...
-Isabel.

Isabel, so that we'd have
some time to talk.

Straight to
Final Jeopardy.

Why are you
breaking your mother's heart
marrying this shiksa ?

It's a joke, Jonathan.
Just a joke.

Phew.

Hey. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Yeah, uh huh. What do you
care, Mr. "I've got an
off

I've got an audition for an
off-Broadway show.
That doesn't mean I've got it.

But as soon as you get it,
it'll be "Goodbye, little
Fringe people."

Tell you what.
Don't leave and I'll
triple your salary.

Oh yeah
Um, where's the jacket?

-The jacket's on the rack,
and the hat's in the box.
-Oh good, okay, okay.

So did you talk to Diana Lee?

Actually, I just came from
watching her rehearse Lady M,

where I believe I left
my jacket.

Mmm hmm.
Did she show you her Oscars?

I don't think she
carries them around.

Yeah, I don't know, you know?
It depends on where we're
going with the character,

whether it's more dragon
or more wizard.
What do you think?

Um... What do I think?

I don't know.
I don't know.

Come on, Alec.
Don't abandon us.

I mean, honestly, which is
more appealing?

Working with Diana Lee
or playing a dragon

Uh...

They're pretty even,
actually, right now.

They're neck-and-neck.

That which hath made them
drunk hath made me bold.

What hath quench'd them
hath given me fire.

Hark!
Henry!

What's with all the goddamn
smoke? It's like a four-alarm
fire up here.

Okay, we'll stop there.
That was beautiful, darling.
You never cease to amaze me.

Oh fuck off.

Oh, he forgot his jacket.

-Nice work if you can get it.
Gay.

-Oh. So unfortunate.
-For you, maybe.

-What about the followspot
operator?
-Married AND gay.

Darling, where's your husband?

I don't know.
Humping Lady Macduff
in the lighting booth?

-What's going on with him
and that woman?
-Reports inconclusive.

But...something?

She's my goddamn understudy
for Christ's sake.

Fucking Eve Harrington.

I thought that extracurricular
activities were allowed,

that you and Michael
had an arrangement.

An arrangement?
Sounds like
flowers at a funeral.

I'll see you tonight.

I shall take my train and go.

I'm just leaving the theater
now.

I know it's just a stupid
day job, but...

Ah well, no more portraits of
sweaty brides.
How will you move on?

It was not that bad. Besides,
I don't want to be dependent
on Jonathan for money.

Yeah, that's dangerous
territory. It's tremendously
dangerous to depend on anyone

that way, especially a man.

Well, it is Jonathan.
It's not some random guy.

Yeah, well it's the random
ones that are the least of it.
It's the guys that you trust.

Okay...whatever.

What did I say?
-Nothing.

We just don't click on this
stuff, Mom, the way you talk
about relationships...

Okay, I mean, it's fine if you
don't want my advice, fine,

you just go out and
make your own mistakes.

Fine. I will.
Thank you.

How come you didn't come
to rehearsal?

This may shock you, but I'm
not always in the mood to
hear you do Shakespeare.

Not in the mood?
You used to beg me to recite.

I met a really cute guy today.
Lives in your building.

-Yeah, he auditioned for me.

This is his jacket. He left
it behind. Can you give it
back to him? He lives in 5G.

Oof, it's so heavy.
-Oh my God, look at that.

I look like I'm deranged
or blind like we're doing
the goddamned Miracle Worker.

Ugh.

-I'll take back the jacket.
-Yeah, and bring him
to the party.

Okay, see Mom, this is what I
mean. I'm supposed to take
your advice on marriage?

Isabel, he is a talented, cute
guy, what is wrong with that?

I don't want to hear that.

You don't want to hear much
of anything from me, do you?

You don't want to hear about
the wedding, or about
Jonathan...

You were not speaking about
Jonathan.

Why not? Why don't you ever
talk to me about him,

or is everything just so
perfect that there's
nothing to talk about.

No, it's not...perfect.

I just think your perspective
on relationships...

-You know, I have learned
a thing or two.
-I should hope so.

That's cruel.

Mom!

Jonathan, is there anything
you want to ask me?

Anything you might not feel
comfortable bringing up with
Isabel in the room?

No. What do you mean?

Well, how do you feel about
the differences in your
religious backgrounds?

Oh, well, Rabbi Mendel,
you know, I'm not
very religious,

so this was really
my Mom's idea.

-But you are planning
to have kids?
-Oh, definitely.

No, I want kids. I've always
seen myself as a Dad.
I just think that...

Oops, I'm sorry. It's Isabel.

Yeah, we're inside.
Come on in.

Hi. Sorry I'm late.

Rabbi Mendel, Isabel.

-Nice to meet you.
-Hello, Isabel.

So, my nephew who's a rabbi
in L.A. just sent me some
exercises

for an interfaith workshop
he's got out there, and I
figured, well,

we'd just give them a try.

So first, Jonathan, take a
card from this pile here,
and read it out loud for us.

"You come home to find the
apartment filled with
Christmas lights."

So, how does that make you
feel, when you see
Christmas lights?

Don't think about an answer,
just speak.

Well, I like Christmas lights.

I don't, really.

Well, what about the Christmas
tree, the whole nine yards?

Wreaths, mistletoe...

He'd kiss me?

I guess I'd kiss her.

You guess.

Isabel, why don't you
take a yellow card.

"Name a positive memory
from your Jewish upbringing."

I don't know. Um...
I rode a camel once,
in Israel.

Okay, riding a camel. How does
that make you feel? Have
you ever ridden a camel?

"So Jonathan, you come home
and you find Isabel reading
Mein Kampf.

"How does that make you feel?

"Isabel won't go to the Anne
Frank museum. How does that
make you feel?"

Stop it!
-Taxi!

Oh my God.

And the one thing I forgot to
ask about was the...uh...
breaking the glass tradition.

They did it this morning
at that wedding. Do you know
what it symbolizes?

-Uh, destruction.

-Yes, of the Temple
or something.
-Oh, that's strange.

Yes, well we're a very strange
people. Now that's enough
out of you already.

-Your Mom.
-Mmm.

Delete.

-Oh, it's that British guy,
Peter Cole, again.

Same thing. Wants to
talk to you about
Benjamin Stone.

Writing his memoirs.
Leaves the number.

You want to know something?
I think my Mom slept with him.

-Benjamin Stone, in London,
like a hundred years ago.

That's disgusting.

Well, maybe it's not true.
Who knows?

You should call this Peter guy
back, though. I'm curious
what he wants.

Maybe he could hook me up,
photography-wise.

Is that all you think about,
is getting hooked up?

I'm sorry. I got fired
earlier. I'm just trying to
get my career off the ground.

It's been a stressful day.

Me too.

I don't know what he wants.

I'm supposed to meet Mark and
those people in a bit.

I'm just going to get out
and take the train.

Excuse me! I'm getting out
here. He's going on.

Will you call me when you're
done? Are you shooting
tonight?

Yes.

Change of plans. Can you
just make a left, right here?

Isaac, have you seen Michael?

-I think he's in the theater.
-Thanks.

Michael?

Hey! You're here! I didn't
know. We were just
running lines.

-Hi, Amanda.
-Hi.

Well, um. I don't want to
interrupt your rehearsal.

I've got to get home,
make sure everything's set
for the party.

I like to throw parties this
time of year. You know, no one
can really sleep

what with the changing of the
seasons and other things
such as

your husband not coming home
in four nights.

Diana.

It's for your birthday,
isn't it

Yeah.

Best wishes. I can't make it.

Well... Carry on!

Break a lot of legs,
and other things.

Hey, Miguel. New gloves
are perfect, thank you.

Don't eat with your hands,
Mark. Somebody give him a
fork, for God's sake.

Hey, everyone. Frank, Jessica,
this is Isabel. Come on.

-Hi, nice to meet you. Hi!
-Sit down.

Thank you.

So, Mark showed us your
public housing stuff,
it's great.

-Oh, thank you.
-Jesus, that elevator...

It's still not fixed.

Well I don't know what he told
you, but we're doing Hungary,
Poland, the Czech Republic,

Slovakia, the "New Europe"
15 years after communism,
that kind of thing.

It's a month-long gig. Our guy
in Slovakia decided to rescue
a mail-order bride.

We haven't heard from him in a
while. He's another pal of
Mark's.

So we're way behind schedule
and we love your work and
you're hired.

When can you leave?

Oh.

I didn't realize you needed
someone...uh...so soon.

I'm getting married
in a few weeks.

Shit.

Well. That's too bad.
I mean, the timing is too bad.
But we'll do something else.

-Definitely.
-Thanks for coming in.

Thank you for your interest.

Look, guys, we've got to
get this dealt with.

We've got to get through
to these people.
If we can't talk to them...

She's getting married, Mark.
Well, Barbara, you oughta just
chase her down the hall

and tell her what a
good idea that is
with your track record.

-Thanks.

What was that
You knew I had the wedding. I
don't know why you did that.

I thought you might
work around it.

Have you ever had a wedding?
You don't work around them.

There's planning.

There's...fucking
string quartets.

-Come upstairs. I want to show
you something.
-No.

I really wanted that.

Five minutes.
Come on, you're upset.

Isabel...

MARK: Ah. Remember the top
of my apartment
on 14th street?

You'd just look down,
and you'd say how our problems
looked so small.

ISABEL: We were 19.
Our problems were so small.

We'd get a bottle of wine and
a great bag of pot, and just
sit up there...Remember?

-Mark, come on.
-Listen.

Maybe you should forget about
those string quartets.

Mark...

You're a child.

That's what happened to us.

In twenty years you'll still
be smoking pot on rooftops

with girls you don't know
how to love.

Where will you be?

Someplace else.

It's good to finally meet you.
I know there was some

confusion as to whether you
were the right Jonathan.

Look, don't waste your time.
I just talked to the lawyers
for the gallery.

They're pulling the
photographs. Don't leave any
more messages at my apartment.

-Benjamin will be
disappointed.
-Fuck Benjamin.

I haven't seen him in four
years. We're not in touch.

I don't have anything to say
about him.

I can see where you get
your nickname,
"Heartbreaker."

-That's what he called you.
-I wasn't aware that Benjamin
Stone had a heart.

Neither was I.

It's too bad. They are
beautiful pictures.

He said they would never
be shown in public.

And you believed him?

I'm getting married in
November.

Don't leave any more
fucking messages
at my apartment.

-Hello my darlings!
-Hey!

Where are your drinks?
Ring out the bells aloud
throughout the town.

Feast and banquet
in the open streets.

-Henry 5.
-Henry 6!

Nobody reads
Henry the Sixth!

Well, Shakespeare's worst is
still better than
anyone else's best. Cheers!

Cheers!

-Oh, our director says he's
"pushing the boundaries."

Tell her your idea
for the three witches.

Laura Bush, Lynne Cheney,
Martha Stewart.
DIANA: Shock and awe!

Everything you thought you
knew about the play will be
reversed in an instant.

-Thank you very much.
-I'll try not to blink

-So as not to miss
the instant.
-Well hello

I didn't think you'd mind if I
brought a friend to the party.

There are very few things I
mind.

New and charming guests
at my parties
is not one of them.

-Thank you very much.
-You are very welcome.

Excuse me. I'm from the
Galloping Gourmet.

You're late. The kitchen's
over there.

The question is, how do you
take something that's really
beautiful and strong,

a great love story set against
the second world war
and make it funny.

And basically our theory is
that everything sounds funny
if you say it

in an Australian accent, so
"I'm very sad my friend is
dead" becomes

"I'm very sad my friend is
dead."

Comedy. And in Gallipoli a lot
of them died.

But we've been
writers at SNL for about
four years now. Four years.

We met at the Lampoon before
that. We were studying all the
Chekhov there.

Well you were a Chekhovaholic.

Remember that story about when
he goes to see
Sarah Bernhardt?

I mean you have to sleep with
her. Did you see Moor Song ?

She played all three Bronte
sisters at the same time.

-I'm not sleeping with her.
-Never mind what she could do
for your career.

-Drop it!
-Alec, welcome to planet
reality.

We have so much to teach you
here. At least just go to her
party, for Christ's sake.

-I have plans tonight.

Every producer in New York
will be there, half of CAA,
but no, you've got plans.

You've got plans with that
sketchcase you've been seeing?

We're getting together
to talk.

Like a breakup talk?

You're really going to
do this?

-Hey.
-Hey.

How was the meeting?

Perfect...it sounded perfect.

They need someone next week.

Shit.

Which really, really sucks,
because it's a once-in-a-
lifetime opportunity.

Well...so is getting married.

-Yeah. I realize that.
-Just saying.

It was the Times . Eastern
Europe. Documenting the lives
of these real people who are

I hate when you do that.

What?

You know, we're real people.
And we're having
a very real wedding.

Obviously. It was a little
disappointing work-wise
is all I'm saying.

Anyway, if they really want
you, they can reschedule.

They don't really want me.
I'm nobody.

I'll bet Mark wants you.

Fuck you.
You are in a shit mood.

-There's a lot going on.
-Tell me about it.

Hey.

Where did you get that jacket?

-It's some guy's.

Mr. Jealousy!
It's not Mark's.

-It belongs to some guy in
this building.

He auditioned for my mother
today and I'm returning it.

You don't have to wear it to
return it to him. Take it off.

-What's the big deal.
-Then I guess I'll
take it off.

-Take the jacket off.
-No!

No! Stop!

You've reached Isabel and
Jonathan. Leave a message.

DIANA: Belly, I just wanted
to say I'm sorry.
I was really on edge,

and I would love it if you
would come to the party.

Come.

Bye.

JONATHAN: Thank you, Diana.

-I need to get started anyway.
-Yeah.

I'd better return this.

I'll take it.

5G.

You ain't got your
own fucking life?

Musical version of Ingmar
Bergman's Persona . Julie
Taymor directing, and

you've got this giant puppet
of Liv Ullman...

-Diana!
-Oh hello!

There's someone I'm dying
to introduce you to.

-Remember that conversation
we had about Benjamin Stone?
-Mm hmm...

-Well this is Peter, and
he works for Benjamin Stone.
-Hello.

-Very nice to meet you.
-And you.

We worked together in the
West End, and she knew
Benjamin in London.

Oh, well, not as well as you
did, if I recall.

Oh, he had a big thing
for you.

He came to 18 performances of
my Medeas.

Said I was the only
woman he ever wanted
to sleep with.

You never did sleep with him,
did you?

He has such a big ego.
He is a force of nature.

It's a pleasure to meet you,
Miss Lee. Mary Stuart is my
favorite film.

Diana.
I have a very pressing
question for you, Peter.

-No.

-But I suppose I could
fake it.
-That's the spirit!

James is directing a movie
version of The Rime of the
Ancient Mariner

but the animal rights people
are all over his back.

Yeah, let's just say there's a
reason they call it
an albatross.

-PETA
-PETA is a real nightmare.

Yeah, you know, listen,
just CGI man. I'm sure you're
going to have no problem.

-But you always want reality.
-No, Pixar is reality.
CGI the albatross.

But there's a real albatross
at the Museum of Natural
History

in that room with all the
creepy dead...

Yeah, there's also
real fake Eskimos.

You're a friend of Diana's?

-She's my mother.

She had me when she was young.

-This is so not my scene.
-Tell me about it.

What is your scene?

-I'm a photographer.
Take pictures of
the freaks in there.

If you do surrealism, I can
tell you those people are
melting clocks.

I photographed this woman
earlier who yelled at me
and told me to get a life.

So, I'm maintaining
a low profile.

I understand. Anybody
asks, you're CIA.

-Yeah. Undercover.

Jonathan.

-Hi, I'm sorry I called
so late.
-No, it's fine. I was awake.

I got this T-Bow now.
It's an addiction, that thing.

You're like a lab rat,
pressing the button
for more cocaine.

So the breaking the glass at
the wedding. We want to know
what that stands for.

There are different
interpretations.

Traditionally it's the
destruction of the Temple.

That's what I thought.
That's what I thought.

Well, listen, again I'm
sorry I...

Jonathan, I've known you
since you were this big. Give
me a little more credit, huh?

You didn't come over here
in the middle of the night to
ask me about broken glass.

Have a seat.

Whatever it is,
I'm glad to listen.

There's some stuff that I
haven't told Isabel.

This thing happened before we
were dating, and, um...

she almost found out
about it tonight.

And I don't...know
who to talk to...

...because nobody knows.

Nobody knows about this thing,
so I...

Jonathan.
Over here.

You can't change the past.

Whatever the truth is now,
that's the ballgame.
That's it.

You tell her what happened,

and you both can go on.

Well, it's kinda hard
to describe.

I'm an artist.
I paint things.

Tart stuff up, you know,
like the chimney over there.

I'd give it a life. Give it a
big googly eye on one side and
smoking a pipe on the other.

Maybe a little hat.
People like it, and they
commission them.

One of the dames downstairs
wants to stick them
in a gallery

down in Tribeca or somewhere.
So I packed my bags
and here I am.

If I can make it here, I can
make it anywhere, yeah?

So you're from London?

No, Wales.
Have you been there?

I might have flown over it
on the way to Heathrow,
I guess.

That's the kind of
New York girl you are.

ISABEL: It takes guts to come
to New York.

I grew up here,
and I can't imagine just...

...just showing up
to start something.
That's scary.

I like scary. I don't want to
be one of those guys who wakes
up at the end of their life

and thinks,
"Shit. What the hell
happened?"

But by definition, if you were
one of those people,

you wouldn't know it
until it was too late.

Fair point.
What's behind the door?

I don't know. It's locked.
You can't go in there.

Who told
you that?

It's just a boiler room
or something.

I can't believe you grew up
in this place and you don't
know what's behind that door.

Were you never curious as a
kid? It could be Narnia
back there.

-I never thought about it.
-Well, I'll tell you what.
Shall we look?

See, it's locked.

Hey now.

It's like a church.

Hi! Hi Benedict.

Where's Bea, huh

DIANA, ON TELEVISION:
Once there was a dream called
Rome, a shining city

on seven hills. That dream
will rise again and they will
know its glory.

-Yikes.
-You have no...

Isabelly, you came!
I'm so happy.

-You're having fun.
-Yeah.

-You look beautiful.
-You too. I love this.

Mmmm. That's a gift.

-I wanted to say about
earlier...
-Apology accepted.

That very adorable young man
you were just talking to.

Mom!

What? I'm just wondering.

No.

Isabel, I want to ask you
something because I'm afraid
I won't have the nerve

when the Gray Goose wears off.

Do you really think

that you're
ready for all this

for...marriage,
those choices...

Mom.

Isabel this is very important
because I like Jonathan,

I really do, you know that.

But...young thou art
and time...

Save that for your students.

Isabel, I just want you to
make sure that you take
enough time to know

what you really need.

Happy birthday, Mom.

-Uh huh.

Don't stay up too late.

I give her a week, at most.

Not this time.
He's in love with her.

-Of course.

Yeah, of course.

I'm just looking at the view.

Isabel. Are you
jumping ship?

-Yeah.
-I'll come with you.

Yeah.

Did you read the piece in
the Times about Nixon
this morning?

Nixon? No, there was something
in the Times about...

Apparently just before he
resigned, there was some
big kidnapping scandal

at the White House. They
thought his Missus had gone
missing, so you know,

they're all running around
everywhere looking for
old Pat.

Finally Dickey-boy goes into
the bedroom,

and there she is, legs akimbo.

And Kissinger's... Fuck!

I'm supposed to say "Henry"
and you're supposed to say,

"Kissinger?" and I'm supposed
to go, "No, he's fucking her!"

Jokes are for the witless.
Where are you headed?

-Call it a night, I guess.

Yeah.

What did you mean before when
you said I was one of those
kind of New York girls?

"You come from Wales?
That's cute. I think I flew
over it once."

What?

Isabel. Named for who?
Isabel Archer? Some other 19th
century heroine?

One of those, "I'm so smart
I know my literary name"
names.

Where did you go
Yale
How am I doing?

I'll stop you
when you're wrong.

And the fact that you're
a photographer.

Mind you, actors, painters,
we're all the same.

Super-conscious about
everyone else. The Work.

You sleepwalk through
your own life.

You're not really noticing
or interested in anyone.

-Red light.

What color are my eyes?

Blue. Your eyes are blue.

What's my name?

Shit.

-You never told me your name.
Isabel?

Fine. Point to you.
Will you tell me your name?

Oh shit.
Help!

-Down 12th Street. You can
meet him over there.

Ma'am, we need to
finish this.

What?

Peter, here you are.

Please call me
when you come back.

Of course I will.

Benjamin's coming in
for a show?

Yes, a portrait
retrospective next month.

Ah. Latest batch
of conquests.

Yeah. Here, I have the
catalog, and I don't want to
look at them anymore,

so please take it
off my hands.

Well, he still has
impeccable taste.

Well, he still has
impeccable taste.

Yes. Another of
Benjamin's exes.

That one's got issues.

Would you mind to make sure
that my guests get out
all right?

-I've got to go somewhere.
-Of course.

May I help you please?

Hi, I'm looking for the man
they just brought in
by ambulance.

He was stabbed.

-I don't know his name.

But they just brought him in.
It can't be more than
fifteen minutes.

-No, but he's just in the ER,
wherever.

I'm sorry, I can't help you
without a name.
May I help you?

-There's no way...
-Excuse me.
May I help you, please?

-Hello.
-Isabel, I really need to talk
to you about Jonathan.

-No, no wait. Listen, please.
This is different.

-This is really different.
-You're drunk, Diana.
Go to bed.

Did Jonathan ever tell you
about his relationship with
Benjamin Stone?

-Isabel, I'm coming over.

There's something
I want to show you.

Wait.

Isabel?

Jonathan?

Jonathan?

(ANOTHER WALKIE-TALKIE
BEEPS)

-Oh. Hi.
-Hi.

-Oh. It's you.

You auditioned for my mother
today, Diana Lee.
The jacket. Your name's, um...

-Alec.
-Alec Loshka.

Yeah.

I'm glad you got it back.
My fiancee said he'd
bring it by.

Well, I guess he did.

Am I interrupting something?

No. Ah, not really. Um...

I am waiting for somebody,
though.

Sorry, I was just, um...

I'm losing my mind.

It was nice to meet you,
Alec.

See you later, Isabel.

-I said I'll see you later.

You said my name.

Right, because your Mom
mentioned it earlier.

Right, of course.
I'm sorry, it's been
a long day.

I can get down over here,
yeah?

-Hey!
-Hey.

-Just getting some fresh air,
what are you doing?

I don't know, but apparently
we're interrupting something
so maybe we should go.

That's the guy,
the jacket guy.

ISABEL: So where were you
before?

JONATHAN: Walking. I went for
a walk. You're home early.

I was mugged.

-Uh huh.

Shit. Are you okay?

Yeah.

Are you sure?
What happened? Tell me.

You had an affair with
Benjamin Stone?

What?

-We never talked about this.

It's okay Jonathan.
You can tell me.

-It was a long time ago.
It's okay.

No. No I didn't.

Baby, of course he'd want to
sleep with you. Look at you.

No, I didn't.

Do you want to open a bottle
of wine or something? It's
been a really long day.

Okay.

I'm going to go get some
cigarettes, yeah?

Mm.

Jonathan.

Hey.

Don't worry. She doesn't know.

I just wanted to let you know.

Her Mom invited me
to her party tonight.

What? I can't believe it.
Was she hitting on you?

I didn't go.
I gave it up to see you.

What do you give up, Jonathan?

What do I get? I get one night
a week, while she's out taking
pictures.

What are you doing?

I don't want to do this
anymore.

Isabel?

Isabel?

Alec, what do you want me
to tell you?

Tell her.

You know I can't.

I can't.

What I have with her...

...is good.

Is it real?

It's close enough.

Isabel!

Isabel.

You stand there
and you tell me.
You tell me.

I don't know what to
say to you.

I've been needing to...

...figure things out.

And I didn't tell you...

...because I was...

...ashamed.

I'm so sorry.

And I want you to know that...

...I want to be with you.

I don't care about what

you want...anymore

because I don't want
to marry you.

Don't do this.
Let's talk about this.

No.

We're happy.

I'm not happy.

And I'm ashamed too.

Because the first thing
I thought when I just saw you,

was thank you...

...for my way out.

I love you.

Where's Isabel?

I need to leave Jonathan.

I was a child
and she was a child,

in a kingdom by the sea.

But we loved with a love
that was more than love,

I and my Isabel Lee.

Stars never rise

but I feel the bright eyes

of the beautiful Isabel Lee.

And the moon never beams

without bringing me dreams

of the beautiful...

...Isabel Lee.

You don't know
the patient's name?

He came in an ambulance about
1 a.m., a little before 1 a.m.
He was stabbed, and just

he's back there somewhere. I
just need to make sure that
he's okay, please.

Well Miss, I have no way of
finding him without the
necessary information.

You don't keep a record of
the people that come in here?

Yeah, we keep a record of
the people who come in here.

Maybe you could call somebody.
I mean, he's right behind
this door right here.

How about if I go back there
and look for him?

No you cannot go back there.
It doesn't work like that.

Miss! I'm going to call
security, Miss! Miss!

You've reached Alec.
Leave a message.

Please pick up.
I'm outside your door.

Please pick up.

I fucked up.

I fucked everything up, and...

...and I want to...

You wanna start over?

I'm Alec.

Jonathan.

Hey.

Ian.