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What beast was't, then, that made you break this enterprise to me?

I have given suck,

and know how tender 'tis to love the babe that milks me.

I would, while it was smiling in my face,

have pluck'd my nipple from its boneless gums

and dash'd the brains out, had I so sworn as you have done to this.

-If we should fail... -We fail!

But screw your courage to the sticking-place, and we'll not fail.

When Duncan is asleep,

whereto the rather shall his hard day's journey, soundly invite him...

Oh hold it! Hold it! Just stop there, okay? Excuse me.

What are you doing? What is that?

Are you going to shoot off the gun, wake up all the guards? That's logical.

-We thought it would raise the stakes.

Get a dagger, for Christ's sake. This is Shakespeare, it's not the Sopranos.

Or, better yet, trust the words.

Let the words do their job. Hear what you're saying.

"I have given suck, and know how tender 'tis

"to love the babe that milks me

"I would, while it was smiling in my face

"Have pluck'd my nipple from his boneless gums

"And dash'd the brains out, had I so sworn as you have done to this."

That is horrendous!

She is saying that she would kill her own child to get what she wants.

It's unspeakable! But she's passionate.

Passion. Passion! Passion! Where's your passion?

These people are burning. These are fiery people!

Now, I know that it's difficult for us to get that today

because we are not fiery people. We are...

We're not even people of ice.

We are tepid voyeurs. I mean, we are tap water.

For example, if I should find out that my

husband is sleeping with somebody else, what do I do?

Nothing.

No, I'd go about my work, I'd go about my business,

I'd cry into my Starbucks soy latte.

I mean, that is the problem with us today.

We can't remember what it's like to be...

...consumed with desire.

We have forgotten passion.

Time's up, I'll see you all next Tuesday, and for Christ's sake,

take a risk, sometime this weekend! Bah!

Thanks.

You know, I'm officially obsessed about the Korean grocer across the street.

Yeah I couldn't tell. Do you have enough pictures of that guy?

I'm trying to figure out when he sleeps. He's there 24 hours a day.

-It's kind of creepy actually. -Well, maybe only you can see him.

I'll miss him.

Nothing's decided. You might stay. Do you want your coffee?

I need to shoot him from a higher angle. I'm going up to the roof tomorrow.

I don't think we have access.

You know, if we do leave New York, the terrorists win.

Well then they should move the terrorists here and let them pay New York rent.

That'll get rid of them fast. Oh, have you checked e-mail from your Mom?

-Um, I think it's your wedding gown?

It has leaves and vines growing out of it.

I need a cigarette. I'm going to kill her.

The one thing I leave up to her.

Who is this person that she hired?

Barbara... Some costume designer.

-Uh huh. A Midsummer Night's Dream

-I was kidding. Is she going to design me a leotard? -If you're lucky.

-Did you hear the phone ring at 3:15 a.m.? -No, I never hear it.

It was Sadie. Doesn't know if she can be a bridesmaid in good conscience.

-Yeah, you and I were drowning in some soup.

Leek... And Tootie from The Facts of Life was there.

I like Tootie.

Are you listening? Baby, why is everybody so crazy?

I don't know, babe.

We threw away all the cigarettes? We don't save any for emergencies?

I'll draw you a picture of a cigarette and you can lick the page.

I gotta go. I've got other people's weddings to deal with.

I'll call you from the office.

-Take the walkie-talkie. -Yes ma'am.

In case I miss work.

Well, don't forget we have the rabbi at five.

I know. Good bye. Can I have some?

I hate Pop-Tarts. Bye!

RABBI: May there ever be heard in the cities and streets of the world

the jubilant voices of young people feasting and singing.

Blessed art Thou, our Lord, who causes the bridegroom to rejoice with his bride.

Barukh attah Adonai

m'sameach chatan

'im ha-kallah.

I now pronounce you husband and wife.

Mazel tov!

-Hi, Jenny. -Good morning.

Wait, let me guess. Marshall.

What up?

Did I ever tell you that uh...

Isabel is incredibly fucking hot?

Yeah. You did.

Dude, what is she doing with you?

Dude, what are you doing in my office?

Mail for you from Wednesday. New girl accidentally put it on my desk.

What's her face

-Oh. She's not the brightest bulb.

-She's cute, though. -Yeah, I guess.

You guess You're not dead yet. You can still look, you know.

Shit.

Wow. I haven't seen one of these since I was 12.

Breaker, breaker. Check, check.

Dude, get a cellphone.

Isabel.

Mark!

-Looking for you.

So I stopped by Bosco studio. They said you were working here, so I thought,

"Why not stop by?"

It's been forever.

Yeah. And a day.

Can I walk you out?

Yeah.

So, tell me how you are.

Things are good. I can't complain.

How about you? You're, what, married?

In a month.

Thank God there's still time. Who is he?

Jonathan, from Yale. You met him a couple of times.

Mmmm. How does the ring feel?

Heavy.

So, what, you're going to move to Connecticut, get the SUV, the golden retrievers?

Darkroom, maybe, if we get a house.

So you're really going to go through with this?

Yeah. I mean, maybe not the suburbs. That's still in negotiations.

But yeah.

-I've been following your work.

-You know I still work for the Times magazine.

Yes, I say your piece on the DNA and serial killers. It was...charming.

Well, now we're doing a piece on Eastern Europe, and the fallout from

the transition from Communism, that sort of thing.

So we're putting together a team of photographers and writers

to go around and document.

But a photographer's dropped out, so I thought this might be your kind of gig.

-Sounds amazing! -Well, I suggested you.

So why don't you come by later and meet everybody?

Great! Let me get the address.

1350 Chambers Street.

We'll start by getting you a Palm Pilot.

My Palm Pilot is my palm.

-Well great, so we'll see you at seven, then.

Thanks.

Thank you for thinking of me.

Well I always think of you.

Taxi!

-Yes.

-Welcome to Vanity Fair. -Thank you.

-Yes.

I spoke to Benjamin yesterday in London. Did he tell you?

No, I haven't been able to get a hold of him.

I've got a brilliant hook on the piece.

Did you see the Picasso show at MOMA? The Master and his Muses

No.

But you see the connection. Stone, Picasso,

each tremendously influenced by their lovers.

Their lovers, right. I suppose that would be a factor.

Benjamin already sent over a list of names and phone numbers,

so that you can put his work in this kind of a context.

"The Marcus Period," "The George Period," you've got the idea.

Sorry. Benjamin wants me to call up all his exes?

Yes exactly. We've already set up some meetings for you.

The Big Cup. The coffee shop in Chelsea, you know?

Are you all right? You look green.

-Can you get me some water, please. -It's jet lag.

-Here you go. -Thank you.

The thing is this, Peter. This is a very unusual situation for Vanity Fair.

I mean, we had Dominick Dunne assigned to this.

But Benjamin felt that he should be giving you the opportunity

since you've been working on his memoirs,

and because you know him intimately.

Now if you don't feel comfortable about the approach we're taking...

It's fine. It's very comfortable.

Super-duper.

You call Marcie my assistant for any detail. E-mail us a draft next week from London

and we get this baby out in time for the show.

Thank you, Peter. You're a star.

-Yeah.

Latanya Jenkins

It's a good script, huh?

Yeah it's good. Honest.

-Yeah except that main guy's a total jerk. -Well, he's confused.

Yeah, but it's like, "Get it together already," you know?

-Alec.

All right, we're running a little late. We're just waiting for the director.

Rachel?

Tony Frye?

Have you ever worked with her before? Diana Lee?

-Mm-hmm.

No, they said Paul somebody?

No, he's nobody, he's just the writer.

No, this is the big time. La Diana.

-Yeah.

It's just Diana Lee, she's the best.

Happy birthday, Mom!

Don't say it. They published my age in the Post this morning.

Victimized by the free press yet again.

-Yes.

So what do you think?

It's very "Titania in the forest of Ivy."

And you'll be gorgeous. Now listen, Alan and Lauren are in

A Midsummer Night's Dream at the Hartford

and they were just married on that set which is supposed to be fabulous,

so I was just thinking... -Tell me you're kidding.

The forest of Midsummer Night's Dream? Don't you think that's romantic?

No, we don't want to change everything so that we can get married on the stage

of some regional theater. It's under control.

-So you have everything figured out? -Not everything.

-Let's talk about the dress later.

Yes, or I'll, I'll stop by the theater.

Hi.

Paul was wondering if you've had a chance to read his script.

Yeah. Yeah. Um, thanks. I love it. I love it. It's honest.

The only thing is I had one question.

I wasn't sure if the character is gay...

Well, he's gay, but not gay.

Okay, okay, okay. I...I got it.

So Diana will be here in a few minutes,

she's just teaching some masters classes up at Juilliard.

-Yeah.

-Could I just use the bathroom while we're waiting? -Sure.

ALEC: Hey, it's me. Um...

I hope I'm not interrupting. I know this is fucked up.

I'm at this big audition right now and I need this.

I can't keep doing this fringe bullshit forever.

So whatever, I'm here, and I just found out that the director is...

Timbales? What the hell are timbale

Yeah, that's fine. Whatever they need as long as they know it's for the whole night.

All I know is it's a small fucking world.

Hello, this is a message for Jonathan Kesler.

My name's Peter Cole, I'm calling on behalf of Vanity Fair magazine.

I'm doing a story on the photographer Benjamin Stone and he has an exhibition at...

(JONATHAN CLICKS OFF THE ANSWERING MACHINE)

Hello, this is a message for Jonathan Kesler.

My name's Peter Cole, I'm calling on behalf of Vanity Fair magazine.

I'm doing a story on the photographer Benjamin Stone and he has an exhibition

at the Werble Gallery, and I'd very much like to interview you.

Hi, yes, I'm calling about the Benjamin Stone exhibit that you're opening.

I need to find out which photographs are going to be included in this exhibit.

I don't know if there's a catalog or whatever, but it's very important

that I find out the contents of that exhibit.

There may be some intellectual property issues.

My name is Jonathan Kesler, 917-517-3065. I'm an attorney.

-No.

I found this pen, and it's also, like, a little robot punching guy, see?

That's terrific. Congratulations.

You got time for a beer after work? Fridays are fly day at Garage.

I can't, I've got to meet Isabel.

Yeah? Got a big crazy night planned?

Oh yeah, crazy. We're meeting a rabbi about wedding stuff

and then she's going to be taking pictures all night.

I dated an actress one time. Did I ever tell you about that?

-Yeah, you did. -She was insane.

-I fucked her in a lighting booth. -That's a fascinating story.

Just watch out for those artsy types. That's all I'm saying.

ALEC: Take me away. Take me away from here.

Take me to snowy Africa. Take me there before I die.

Because nobody cares about anyone...not anyone.

I get a hard-on for women out of sheer pity.

I'd like to come back as a dog,

just to find a little happiness. A stray no one would notice

just poking around the bins to the end of time.

Thank you. Very nice.

Thank you.

-Your jacket is a lovely shade of green, Alec. Thank you.

Why don't you come down while I look at your resume?

We don't bite...

...usually.

Let's see, Juilliard, oh look at that - you live at 300 West 21st Street.

That's my daughter's building. What a coincidence. Do you know my daughter?

Blonde, pretty girl? -No.

She lives on the third floor with Jonathan her fiancee.

He's square-jawed and very serious-looking.

-No, sorry. -And you're on the fifth.

New York is the smallest city in the world when it comes to that.

Six degrees of separation everywhere else. More like two in New York.

-Yeah.

What are you doing later?

I have a rehearsal for the Scottish play. Why don't you come along? Watch.

There's all sorts of backstage intrigue. My husband's in the cast and, well...

like I said small city. Keeps life exciting.

-Or scary.

I'll call Isabel, and you're practically neighbors.

You can join us afterwards, and then I'm having a party.

I...I have plans, actually.

Plans?

Okay. I think that's it. I've got to go.

You auditioned for my show, Alec. Why?

It's a great opportunity.

That's right. It's a great opportunity to move beyond the fringe festival.

I mean, you strike me as a serious actor,

and I'd like to introduce you to other serious theater professionals.

But, you have plans. How unfortunate.

Well, um...

Maybe I could come for a little while.

That's better.

I'll tell you a secret.

You're adorable.

Fuck.

This is Benjamin Stone, I'm not in, please leave a message.

Hello?

-Benjamin, someone's calling for you

Peter someone.

So, I asked you to come down here because I'm writing an article on the photographer...

Benjamin Stone. The guy's bad fucking news.

Could I ask you one or two questions?

So, what, he's, like, really famous?

Son-of-a-bitch was sleeping with my boyfriend.

Ah.

Son-of-a-bitch.

A brilliant photographer, no question, but the man is Satan's second coming.

I know, separate the art from the artist, Leni Riefenstahl

So, how long have you been involved with him, the Marquis de Sade?

Sleep with Benjamin once, maybe twice, and you've got to quit.

Shit, it's way past that, isn't it?

All right. Now it's perfect. Perfect.

Now we're gonna get...

Why are you doing this? I'm not on the schedule next week. We have no weddings?

-I'm in session. -I'm sorry. I'm not on the schedule.

-Yeah. You wanted to focus on your own work. -I do.

You wanted to cut back on your hours because of the wedding and the honeymoon.

Are you firing me?

Are you there?

Hello?

I need you.

What he said is kind of true, you know. You're not going to need the job as much.

But I like the job. I mean, not the Sears Portrait Studio shit, but...

...knowing it was there.

I mean, I'm not ready for that. Look at that girl.

She's younger than I am. She's given everything up.

She probably doesn't think that.

-I ran into Mark today.

Don't make the face.

Eight million people in New York and you ran into him?

Whatever, he found me.

He wants to hook me up with some project the Times is doing in Eastern Europe.

-I'm supposed to go to a meeting later. -A meeting.

-Relax.

All right. Well, just don't forget we have the rabbi.

How could I forget? He calls every...

Oh! There's a message on the machine at home about Benjamin Stone. Do you know him?

Well, I took a class with him in London. He called?

-Yeah, but so did 3,000 other people. It's like a seminar.

He's huge! Annie Leibovitz, Richard Avedon, Benjamin Stone. The holy trinity.

You took a class with him?

-All right. I knew this was coming.

-He sleeps with all his models, you know.

Yeah, well he's not exactly my type. Wait, he called?

No. Some...Peter? I don't know. I didn't listen to the whole thing, actually.

So they probably just want money. Just ignore it.

-Well find out. -Okay, yes ma'am.

Peter.

Um, Jeremy.

-So how many people are on this list? -There are a number of names.

Let me see it. If the man believed in privacy he wouldn't be here.

-Are you allowed to smoke in here? -No.

So are you and he...? Because I know Benjamin.

Could this be the new "Peter Period"? Look, you don't have to tell me anything,

but the man's a sick fuck to send you out on an errand like this.

-I thought it might be a laugh actually, but... -But.

Look, there's a bar across the street. Let me buy you a beer.

-No, I couldn't. -You couldn't.

Jesus. He scribbled these little notes.

Look at this one, "Shit photographer, but a good fuck."

Ouch.

What about this one, have you talked to him yet? "Heartbreaker"?

Not yet. I've been trying, but...

There I am. "Nearly brilliant."

Nearly. Fucker.

Benjamin can make you feel like you're the only man in the world when your with him.

That's what makes his work so good.

But you're never the only one.

You know what you should do? You should fuck them.

And I mean that literally. Fuck them all for revenge.

That's more Benjamin's style than mine.

Mmmm. What are you doing later?

I'm going to a party at Diana Lee's house. You should come.

Diana Lee? You mean the actual Diana Lee?

Mm hmm.

What time?

Ten o'clock. And if you're looking at other ways to get back at Benjamin,

there's always after the party.

The raven himself is hoarse,

that croaks the fatal entrance of Duncan under my battlements.

Come, you spirits that tend on mortal thoughts.

Unsex me here,

and fill me from the crown to the toe

top-full of direst cruelty!

Make thick my blood.

Stop up the access and passage to remorse,

that no compunctious visitings of nature...

Henry! I don't know about this. Do you think this is the right length for this train?

-I think the train's too long. -I love the train, I just don't want to see your feet.

I don't want to stop and rearrange it all the time, but I think it'll be okay.

-It looks good to me.

-Yeah, jump ahead, "Come thick night." -All right.

Come, thick night, and pall thee in the dunnest smoke of hell,

that my keen knife see not the wound it makes.

Nor heaven peep through the blanket of the dark To cry, "Hold, hold!"

Where are you going?

I'm sorry, I have a costume fitting that I forgot about.

Oh, the Fringe festival. -The Fringe festival.

Well, come to the party later. My place, 59 Bethune Street.

Okay, I will.

Thank you, for this. This is, ah...You're amazing.

Thank you.

DIANA: What?

You remember the Fringe festival, Henry. Don't give me that look.

-Yeah.

Look at you.

It's good to see you, Jonathan.

You know, kid, you were this tall the last time I saw you.

-She's good, she's good. She says hello.

-So, I wanted you to come in before... -Isabel.

Isabel, so that we'd have some time to talk.

Straight to Final Jeopardy.

Why are you breaking your mother's heart marrying this shiksa ?

It's a joke, Jonathan. Just a joke.

Phew.

Hey. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Yeah, uh huh. What do you care, Mr. "I've got an off

I've got an audition for an off-Broadway show. That doesn't mean I've got it.

But as soon as you get it, it'll be "Goodbye, little Fringe people."

Tell you what. Don't leave and I'll triple your salary.

Oh yeah Um, where's the jacket?

-The jacket's on the rack, and the hat's in the box. -Oh good, okay, okay.

So did you talk to Diana Lee?

Actually, I just came from watching her rehearse Lady M,

where I believe I left my jacket.

Mmm hmm. Did she show you her Oscars?

I don't think she carries them around.

Yeah, I don't know, you know? It depends on where we're going with the character,

whether it's more dragon or more wizard. What do you think?

Um... What do I think?

I don't know. I don't know.

Come on, Alec. Don't abandon us.

I mean, honestly, which is more appealing?

Working with Diana Lee or playing a dragon

Uh...

They're pretty even, actually, right now.

They're neck-and-neck.

That which hath made them drunk hath made me bold.

What hath quench'd them hath given me fire.

Hark! Henry!

What's with all the goddamn smoke? It's like a four-alarm fire up here.

Okay, we'll stop there. That was beautiful, darling. You never cease to amaze me.

Oh fuck off.

Oh, he forgot his jacket.

-Nice work if you can get it. Gay.

-Oh. So unfortunate. -For you, maybe.

-What about the followspot operator? -Married AND gay.

Darling, where's your husband?

I don't know. Humping Lady Macduff in the lighting booth?

-What's going on with him and that woman? -Reports inconclusive.

But...something?

She's my goddamn understudy for Christ's sake.

Fucking Eve Harrington.

I thought that extracurricular activities were allowed,

that you and Michael had an arrangement.

An arrangement? Sounds like flowers at a funeral.

I'll see you tonight.

I shall take my train and go.

I'm just leaving the theater now.

I know it's just a stupid day job, but...

Ah well, no more portraits of sweaty brides. How will you move on?

It was not that bad. Besides, I don't want to be dependent on Jonathan for money.

Yeah, that's dangerous territory. It's tremendously dangerous to depend on anyone

that way, especially a man.

Well, it is Jonathan. It's not some random guy.

Yeah, well it's the random ones that are the least of it. It's the guys that you trust.

Okay...whatever.

What did I say? -Nothing.

We just don't click on this stuff, Mom, the way you talk about relationships...

Okay, I mean, it's fine if you don't want my advice, fine,

you just go out and make your own mistakes.

Fine. I will. Thank you.

How come you didn't come to rehearsal?

This may shock you, but I'm not always in the mood to hear you do Shakespeare.

Not in the mood? You used to beg me to recite.

I met a really cute guy today. Lives in your building.

-Yeah, he auditioned for me.

This is his jacket. He left it behind. Can you give it back to him? He lives in 5G.

Oof, it's so heavy. -Oh my God, look at that.

I look like I'm deranged or blind like we're doing the goddamned Miracle Worker.

Ugh.

-I'll take back the jacket. -Yeah, and bring him to the party.

Okay, see Mom, this is what I mean. I'm supposed to take your advice on marriage?

Isabel, he is a talented, cute guy, what is wrong with that?

I don't want to hear that.

You don't want to hear much of anything from me, do you?

You don't want to hear about the wedding, or about Jonathan...

You were not speaking about Jonathan.

Why not? Why don't you ever talk to me about him,

or is everything just so perfect that there's nothing to talk about.

No, it's not...perfect.

I just think your perspective on relationships...

-You know, I have learned a thing or two. -I should hope so.

That's cruel.

Mom!

Jonathan, is there anything you want to ask me?

Anything you might not feel comfortable bringing up with Isabel in the room?

No. What do you mean?

Well, how do you feel about the differences in your religious backgrounds?

Oh, well, Rabbi Mendel, you know, I'm not very religious,

so this was really my Mom's idea.

-But you are planning to have kids? -Oh, definitely.

No, I want kids. I've always seen myself as a Dad. I just think that...

Oops, I'm sorry. It's Isabel.

Yeah, we're inside. Come on in.

Hi. Sorry I'm late.

Rabbi Mendel, Isabel.

-Nice to meet you. -Hello, Isabel.

So, my nephew who's a rabbi in L.A. just sent me some exercises

for an interfaith workshop he's got out there, and I figured, well,

we'd just give them a try.

So first, Jonathan, take a card from this pile here, and read it out loud for us.

"You come home to find the apartment filled with Christmas lights."

So, how does that make you feel, when you see Christmas lights?

Don't think about an answer, just speak.

Well, I like Christmas lights.

I don't, really.

Well, what about the Christmas tree, the whole nine yards?

Wreaths, mistletoe...

He'd kiss me?

I guess I'd kiss her.

You guess.

Isabel, why don't you take a yellow card.

"Name a positive memory from your Jewish upbringing."

I don't know. Um... I rode a camel once, in Israel.

Okay, riding a camel. How does that make you feel? Have you ever ridden a camel?

"So Jonathan, you come home and you find Isabel reading Mein Kampf.

"How does that make you feel?

"Isabel won't go to the Anne Frank museum. How does that make you feel?"

Stop it! -Taxi!

Oh my God.

And the one thing I forgot to ask about was the...uh... breaking the glass tradition.

They did it this morning at that wedding. Do you know what it symbolizes?

-Uh, destruction.

-Yes, of the Temple or something. -Oh, that's strange.

Yes, well we're a very strange people. Now that's enough out of you already.

-Your Mom. -Mmm.

Delete.

-Oh, it's that British guy, Peter Cole, again.

Same thing. Wants to talk to you about Benjamin Stone.

Writing his memoirs. Leaves the number.

You want to know something? I think my Mom slept with him.

-Benjamin Stone, in London, like a hundred years ago.

That's disgusting.

Well, maybe it's not true. Who knows?

You should call this Peter guy back, though. I'm curious what he wants.

Maybe he could hook me up, photography-wise.

Is that all you think about, is getting hooked up?

I'm sorry. I got fired earlier. I'm just trying to get my career off the ground.

It's been a stressful day.

Me too.

I don't know what he wants.

I'm supposed to meet Mark and those people in a bit.

I'm just going to get out and take the train.

Excuse me! I'm getting out here. He's going on.

Will you call me when you're done? Are you shooting tonight?

Yes.

Change of plans. Can you just make a left, right here?

Isaac, have you seen Michael?

-I think he's in the theater. -Thanks.

Michael?

Hey! You're here! I didn't know. We were just running lines.

-Hi, Amanda. -Hi.

Well, um. I don't want to interrupt your rehearsal.

I've got to get home, make sure everything's set for the party.

I like to throw parties this time of year. You know, no one can really sleep

what with the changing of the seasons and other things such as

your husband not coming home in four nights.

Diana.

It's for your birthday, isn't it

Yeah.

Best wishes. I can't make it.

Well... Carry on!

Break a lot of legs, and other things.

Hey, Miguel. New gloves are perfect, thank you.

Don't eat with your hands, Mark. Somebody give him a fork, for God's sake.

Hey, everyone. Frank, Jessica, this is Isabel. Come on.

-Hi, nice to meet you. Hi! -Sit down.

Thank you.

So, Mark showed us your public housing stuff, it's great.

-Oh, thank you. -Jesus, that elevator...

It's still not fixed.

Well I don't know what he told you, but we're doing Hungary, Poland, the Czech Republic,

Slovakia, the "New Europe" 15 years after communism, that kind of thing.

It's a month-long gig. Our guy in Slovakia decided to rescue a mail-order bride.

We haven't heard from him in a while. He's another pal of Mark's.

So we're way behind schedule and we love your work and you're hired.

When can you leave?

Oh.

I didn't realize you needed someone...uh...so soon.

I'm getting married in a few weeks.

Shit.

Well. That's too bad. I mean, the timing is too bad. But we'll do something else.

-Definitely. -Thanks for coming in.

Thank you for your interest.

Look, guys, we've got to get this dealt with.

We've got to get through to these people. If we can't talk to them...

She's getting married, Mark. Well, Barbara, you oughta just chase her down the hall

and tell her what a good idea that is with your track record.

-Thanks.

What was that You knew I had the wedding. I don't know why you did that.

I thought you might work around it.

Have you ever had a wedding? You don't work around them.

There's planning.

There's...fucking string quartets.

-Come upstairs. I want to show you something. -No.

I really wanted that.

Five minutes. Come on, you're upset.

Isabel...

MARK: Ah. Remember the top of my apartment on 14th street?

You'd just look down, and you'd say how our problems looked so small.

ISABEL: We were 19. Our problems were so small.

We'd get a bottle of wine and a great bag of pot, and just sit up there...Remember?

-Mark, come on. -Listen.

Maybe you should forget about those string quartets.

Mark...

You're a child.

That's what happened to us.

In twenty years you'll still be smoking pot on rooftops

with girls you don't know how to love.

Where will you be?

Someplace else.

It's good to finally meet you. I know there was some

confusion as to whether you were the right Jonathan.

Look, don't waste your time. I just talked to the lawyers for the gallery.

They're pulling the photographs. Don't leave any more messages at my apartment.

-Benjamin will be disappointed. -Fuck Benjamin.

I haven't seen him in four years. We're not in touch.

I don't have anything to say about him.

I can see where you get your nickname, "Heartbreaker."

-That's what he called you. -I wasn't aware that Benjamin Stone had a heart.

Neither was I.

It's too bad. They are beautiful pictures.

He said they would never be shown in public.

And you believed him?

I'm getting married in November.

Don't leave any more fucking messages at my apartment.

-Hello my darlings! -Hey!

Where are your drinks? Ring out the bells aloud throughout the town.

Feast and banquet in the open streets.

-Henry 5. -Henry 6!

Nobody reads Henry the Sixth!

Well, Shakespeare's worst is still better than anyone else's best. Cheers!

Cheers!

-Oh, our director says he's "pushing the boundaries."

Tell her your idea for the three witches.

Laura Bush, Lynne Cheney, Martha Stewart. DIANA: Shock and awe!

Everything you thought you knew about the play will be reversed in an instant.

-Thank you very much. -I'll try not to blink

-So as not to miss the instant. -Well hello

I didn't think you'd mind if I brought a friend to the party.

There are very few things I mind.

New and charming guests at my parties is not one of them.

-Thank you very much. -You are very welcome.

Excuse me. I'm from the Galloping Gourmet.

You're late. The kitchen's over there.

The question is, how do you take something that's really beautiful and strong,

a great love story set against the second world war and make it funny.

And basically our theory is that everything sounds funny if you say it

in an Australian accent, so "I'm very sad my friend is dead" becomes

"I'm very sad my friend is dead."

Comedy. And in Gallipoli a lot of them died.

But we've been writers at SNL for about four years now. Four years.

We met at the Lampoon before that. We were studying all the Chekhov there.

Well you were a Chekhovaholic.

Remember that story about when he goes to see Sarah Bernhardt?

I mean you have to sleep with her. Did you see Moor Song ?

She played all three Bronte sisters at the same time.

-I'm not sleeping with her. -Never mind what she could do for your career.

-Drop it! -Alec, welcome to planet reality.

We have so much to teach you here. At least just go to her party, for Christ's sake.

-I have plans tonight.

Every producer in New York will be there, half of CAA, but no, you've got plans.

You've got plans with that sketchcase you've been seeing?

We're getting together to talk.

Like a breakup talk?

You're really going to do this?

-Hey. -Hey.

How was the meeting?

Perfect...it sounded perfect.

They need someone next week.

Shit.

Which really, really sucks, because it's a once-in-a- lifetime opportunity.

Well...so is getting married.

-Yeah. I realize that. -Just saying.

It was the Times . Eastern Europe. Documenting the lives of these real people who are

I hate when you do that.

What?

You know, we're real people. And we're having a very real wedding.

Obviously. It was a little disappointing work-wise is all I'm saying.

Anyway, if they really want you, they can reschedule.

They don't really want me. I'm nobody.

I'll bet Mark wants you.

Fuck you. You are in a shit mood.

-There's a lot going on. -Tell me about it.

Hey.

Where did you get that jacket?

-It's some guy's.

Mr. Jealousy! It's not Mark's.

-It belongs to some guy in this building.

He auditioned for my mother today and I'm returning it.

You don't have to wear it to return it to him. Take it off.

-What's the big deal. -Then I guess I'll take it off.

-Take the jacket off. -No!

No! Stop!

You've reached Isabel and Jonathan. Leave a message.

DIANA: Belly, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I was really on edge,

and I would love it if you would come to the party.

Come.

Bye.

JONATHAN: Thank you, Diana.

-I need to get started anyway. -Yeah.

I'd better return this.

I'll take it.

5G.

You ain't got your own fucking life?

Musical version of Ingmar Bergman's Persona . Julie Taymor directing, and

you've got this giant puppet of Liv Ullman...

-Diana! -Oh hello!

There's someone I'm dying to introduce you to.

-Remember that conversation we had about Benjamin Stone? -Mm hmm...

-Well this is Peter, and he works for Benjamin Stone. -Hello.

-Very nice to meet you. -And you.

We worked together in the West End, and she knew Benjamin in London.

Oh, well, not as well as you did, if I recall.

Oh, he had a big thing for you.

He came to 18 performances of my Medeas.

Said I was the only woman he ever wanted to sleep with.

You never did sleep with him, did you?

He has such a big ego. He is a force of nature.

It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Lee. Mary Stuart is my favorite film.

Diana. I have a very pressing question for you, Peter.

-No.

-But I suppose I could fake it. -That's the spirit!

James is directing a movie version of The Rime of the Ancient Mariner

but the animal rights people are all over his back.

Yeah, let's just say there's a reason they call it an albatross.

-PETA -PETA is a real nightmare.

Yeah, you know, listen, just CGI man. I'm sure you're going to have no problem.

-But you always want reality. -No, Pixar is reality. CGI the albatross.

But there's a real albatross at the Museum of Natural History

in that room with all the creepy dead...

Yeah, there's also real fake Eskimos.

You're a friend of Diana's?

-She's my mother.

She had me when she was young.

-This is so not my scene. -Tell me about it.

What is your scene?

-I'm a photographer. Take pictures of the freaks in there.

If you do surrealism, I can tell you those people are melting clocks.

I photographed this woman earlier who yelled at me and told me to get a life.

So, I'm maintaining a low profile.

I understand. Anybody asks, you're CIA.

-Yeah. Undercover.

Jonathan.

-Hi, I'm sorry I called so late. -No, it's fine. I was awake.

I got this T-Bow now. It's an addiction, that thing.

You're like a lab rat, pressing the button for more cocaine.

So the breaking the glass at the wedding. We want to know what that stands for.

There are different interpretations.

Traditionally it's the destruction of the Temple.

That's what I thought. That's what I thought.

Well, listen, again I'm sorry I...

Jonathan, I've known you since you were this big. Give me a little more credit, huh?

You didn't come over here in the middle of the night to ask me about broken glass.

Have a seat.

Whatever it is, I'm glad to listen.

There's some stuff that I haven't told Isabel.

This thing happened before we were dating, and, um...

she almost found out about it tonight.

And I don't...know who to talk to...

...because nobody knows.

Nobody knows about this thing, so I...

Jonathan. Over here.

You can't change the past.

Whatever the truth is now, that's the ballgame. That's it.

You tell her what happened,

and you both can go on.

Well, it's kinda hard to describe.

I'm an artist. I paint things.

Tart stuff up, you know, like the chimney over there.

I'd give it a life. Give it a big googly eye on one side and smoking a pipe on the other.

Maybe a little hat. People like it, and they commission them.

One of the dames downstairs wants to stick them in a gallery

down in Tribeca or somewhere. So I packed my bags and here I am.

If I can make it here, I can make it anywhere, yeah?

So you're from London?

No, Wales. Have you been there?

I might have flown over it on the way to Heathrow, I guess.

That's the kind of New York girl you are.

ISABEL: It takes guts to come to New York.

I grew up here, and I can't imagine just...

...just showing up to start something. That's scary.

I like scary. I don't want to be one of those guys who wakes up at the end of their life

and thinks, "Shit. What the hell happened?"

But by definition, if you were one of those people,

you wouldn't know it until it was too late.

Fair point. What's behind the door?

I don't know. It's locked. You can't go in there.

Who told you that?

It's just a boiler room or something.

I can't believe you grew up in this place and you don't know what's behind that door.

Were you never curious as a kid? It could be Narnia back there.

-I never thought about it. -Well, I'll tell you what. Shall we look?

See, it's locked.

Hey now.

It's like a church.

Hi! Hi Benedict.

Where's Bea, huh

DIANA, ON TELEVISION: Once there was a dream called Rome, a shining city

on seven hills. That dream will rise again and they will know its glory.

-Yikes. -You have no...

Isabelly, you came! I'm so happy.

-You're having fun. -Yeah.

-You look beautiful. -You too. I love this.

Mmmm. That's a gift.

-I wanted to say about earlier... -Apology accepted.

That very adorable young man you were just talking to.

Mom!

What? I'm just wondering.

No.

Isabel, I want to ask you something because I'm afraid I won't have the nerve

when the Gray Goose wears off.

Do you really think

that you're ready for all this

for...marriage, those choices...

Mom.

Isabel this is very important because I like Jonathan,

I really do, you know that.

But...young thou art and time...

Save that for your students.

Isabel, I just want you to make sure that you take enough time to know

what you really need.

Happy birthday, Mom.

-Uh huh.

Don't stay up too late.

I give her a week, at most.

Not this time. He's in love with her.

-Of course.

Yeah, of course.

I'm just looking at the view.

Isabel. Are you jumping ship?

-Yeah. -I'll come with you.

Yeah.

Did you read the piece in the Times about Nixon this morning?

Nixon? No, there was something in the Times about...

Apparently just before he resigned, there was some big kidnapping scandal

at the White House. They thought his Missus had gone missing, so you know,

they're all running around everywhere looking for old Pat.

Finally Dickey-boy goes into the bedroom,

and there she is, legs akimbo.

And Kissinger's... Fuck!

I'm supposed to say "Henry" and you're supposed to say,

"Kissinger?" and I'm supposed to go, "No, he's fucking her!"

Jokes are for the witless. Where are you headed?

-Call it a night, I guess.

Yeah.

What did you mean before when you said I was one of those kind of New York girls?

"You come from Wales? That's cute. I think I flew over it once."

What?

Isabel. Named for who? Isabel Archer? Some other 19th century heroine?

One of those, "I'm so smart I know my literary name" names.

Where did you go Yale How am I doing?

I'll stop you when you're wrong.

And the fact that you're a photographer.

Mind you, actors, painters, we're all the same.

Super-conscious about everyone else. The Work.

You sleepwalk through your own life.

You're not really noticing or interested in anyone.

-Red light.

What color are my eyes?

Blue. Your eyes are blue.

What's my name?

Shit.

-You never told me your name. Isabel?

Fine. Point to you. Will you tell me your name?

Oh shit. Help!

-Down 12th Street. You can meet him over there.

Ma'am, we need to finish this.

What?

Peter, here you are.

Please call me when you come back.

Of course I will.

Benjamin's coming in for a show?

Yes, a portrait retrospective next month.

Ah. Latest batch of conquests.

Yeah. Here, I have the catalog, and I don't want to look at them anymore,

so please take it off my hands.

Well, he still has impeccable taste.

Well, he still has impeccable taste.

Yes. Another of Benjamin's exes.

That one's got issues.

Would you mind to make sure that my guests get out all right?

-I've got to go somewhere. -Of course.

May I help you please?

Hi, I'm looking for the man they just brought in by ambulance.

He was stabbed.

-I don't know his name.

But they just brought him in. It can't be more than fifteen minutes.

-No, but he's just in the ER, wherever.

I'm sorry, I can't help you without a name. May I help you?

-There's no way... -Excuse me. May I help you, please?

-Hello. -Isabel, I really need to talk to you about Jonathan.

-No, no wait. Listen, please. This is different.

-This is really different. -You're drunk, Diana. Go to bed.

Did Jonathan ever tell you about his relationship with Benjamin Stone?

-Isabel, I'm coming over.

There's something I want to show you.

Wait.

Isabel?

Jonathan?

Jonathan?

(ANOTHER WALKIE-TALKIE BEEPS)

-Oh. Hi. -Hi.

-Oh. It's you.

You auditioned for my mother today, Diana Lee. The jacket. Your name's, um...

-Alec. -Alec Loshka.

Yeah.

I'm glad you got it back. My fiancee said he'd bring it by.

Well, I guess he did.

Am I interrupting something?

No. Ah, not really. Um...

I am waiting for somebody, though.

Sorry, I was just, um...

I'm losing my mind.

It was nice to meet you, Alec.

See you later, Isabel.

-I said I'll see you later.

You said my name.

Right, because your Mom mentioned it earlier.

Right, of course. I'm sorry, it's been a long day.

I can get down over here, yeah?

-Hey! -Hey.

-Just getting some fresh air, what are you doing?

I don't know, but apparently we're interrupting something so maybe we should go.

That's the guy, the jacket guy.

ISABEL: So where were you before?

JONATHAN: Walking. I went for a walk. You're home early.

I was mugged.

-Uh huh.

Shit. Are you okay?

Yeah.

Are you sure? What happened? Tell me.

You had an affair with Benjamin Stone?

What?

-We never talked about this.

It's okay Jonathan. You can tell me.

-It was a long time ago. It's okay.

No. No I didn't.

Baby, of course he'd want to sleep with you. Look at you.

No, I didn't.

Do you want to open a bottle of wine or something? It's been a really long day.

Okay.

I'm going to go get some cigarettes, yeah?

Mm.

Jonathan.

Hey.

Don't worry. She doesn't know.

I just wanted to let you know.

Her Mom invited me to her party tonight.

What? I can't believe it. Was she hitting on you?

I didn't go. I gave it up to see you.

What do you give up, Jonathan?

What do I get? I get one night a week, while she's out taking pictures.

What are you doing?

I don't want to do this anymore.

Isabel?

Isabel?

Alec, what do you want me to tell you?

Tell her.

You know I can't.

I can't.

What I have with her...

...is good.

Is it real?

It's close enough.

Isabel!

Isabel.

You stand there and you tell me. You tell me.

I don't know what to say to you.

I've been needing to...

...figure things out.

And I didn't tell you...

...because I was...

...ashamed.

I'm so sorry.

And I want you to know that...

...I want to be with you.

I don't care about what

you want...anymore

because I don't want to marry you.

Don't do this. Let's talk about this.

No.

We're happy.

I'm not happy.

And I'm ashamed too.

Because the first thing I thought when I just saw you,

was thank you...

...for my way out.

I love you.

Where's Isabel?

I need to leave Jonathan.

I was a child and she was a child,

in a kingdom by the sea.

But we loved with a love that was more than love,

I and my Isabel Lee.

Stars never rise

but I feel the bright eyes

of the beautiful Isabel Lee.

And the moon never beams

without bringing me dreams

of the beautiful...

...Isabel Lee.

You don't know the patient's name?

He came in an ambulance about 1 a.m., a little before 1 a.m. He was stabbed, and just

he's back there somewhere. I just need to make sure that he's okay, please.

Well Miss, I have no way of finding him without the necessary information.

You don't keep a record of the people that come in here?

Yeah, we keep a record of the people who come in here.

Maybe you could call somebody. I mean, he's right behind this door right here.

How about if I go back there and look for him?

No you cannot go back there. It doesn't work like that.

Miss! I'm going to call security, Miss! Miss!

You've reached Alec. Leave a message.

Please pick up. I'm outside your door.

Please pick up.

I fucked up.

I fucked everything up, and...

...and I want to...

You wanna start over?

I'm Alec.

Jonathan.

Hey.

Ian.