Original subtitles

I'm Jane McDonald and I love to cruise.

For 20 years, the sea has been my home.

First below deck as a cruise ship singer

and now above as a passenger.

I've learned the ropes...

..and now it's your turn.

I want to show you how to cruise with confidence.

That's like "boom!" in my mouth!

We'll explore famous landmarks...

Wow, look at that.

..and uncover unique hideaways.

It's just magnificent.

So come on board with me for a journey of discovery.

Cheers!

This time, the Dalmatian Coast and 101 ways to have fun...

Oooh!

SHE LAUGHS

..I'll be taking in the sights and sounds of Split...

I'm hearing angels.

One, two, three. Cheers!

..raising a glass of grappa near Korcula...

Woohoo-hoo!

..then veering up to Venice, where I'll go out with a bang.

SHE SCREAMS

A shining, ancient city rising from shimmering blue waters.

More than a thousand years of history,

enclosed by fortified medieval walls.

Welcome to Dubrovnik, otherwise known as the Pearl of the Adriatic.

It's also the starting point for my latest cruise,

on a ship that holds a special place in my heart.

I last sailed on her with my late mum, 15 years ago.

So, as we take in some unforgettable sights together

over the next seven days,

I'll be reliving some magical personal moments.

First, the getting here, which is easy.

Direct flights from main UK airports

take just two and a half hours.

But once you've landed, it's a different world altogether.

It really is charming.

It's exquisite. It's just...

All the words don't do it justice here.

It's absolutely beautiful.

With only a few hours to go before my ship sails,

I've headed straight to Dubrovnik's atmospheric old town.

Built in the seventh century,

reconstructed after an earthquake in the 17th

and looking as good as new in the 21st.

All the buildings are like clean and not a bit like ours!

It's as if they, erm, they wash them down every night.

Although the streets look like marble,

they're actually limestone.

I mean, I bet they're a nightmare if they're wet,

but they just look so lovely and clean.

To protect the charm of the place,

there are strict controls on all new building work.

There are even rules on the shade of green on the shutters

and the red on the roof tiles.

You can feel the history here.

It's like walking through a film set.

And it is...sort of.

They filmed part of Star Wars: The Last Jedi here.

And if you're a fan of the Game Of Thrones TV series,

you'll probably recognise these steps.

All that screen fame's helped boost the local economy,

but it ain't half made it crowded.

It could just be the Game Of Thrones popularity,

but there seems to be an awful lot more money put into Dubrovnik now.

Saying that, the amount of tourists that come here as well...

..that must be incredible for...

..for revenue as well.

Want to see as much of a new city as you can

when you've only got limited time?

Head for a high spot.

Ooh. It goes quite fast, this thing, doesn't it?

It means mean you can escape the crowds too.

It's stunning, absolutely stunning.

This cable car takes you up to a viewing station

half a mile from the ground.

Do you want to get in there and get the shot?

It's OK. Yeah, thank you.

I'm getting pretty much what I wanted to. Yeah? Good.

Without my real camera. Oh!

Although the view from this point of Mount Srd is impressive,

I've been told the finest one of all is just a few miles away.

Trouble is, you have to take one of these to get there.

I'm going on a so-called buggy safari

with my new friends, David and Betsy.

You can book one online and get collected near the top

of the cable car.

It's around 25 minutes to the viewing spot

and we're in safe hands with our driver, Nico.

Or so he assures us.

I'm up front. Oh, this should be fun.

Can I just let you hold that for a minute, Nico? Of course.

Oh, blimey.

Well, here we go.

SHE LAUGHS

Woohoo!

Ooh! SHE LAUGHS

This bone-shaker of a ride's definitely bringing out

the nervous passenger in me.

Oh, my God!

But then we are whizzing along off road tracks at up to 40mph,

and did I mention the, er, ventilation

on the windows and doors?

SHE LAUGHS Oh, help!

Guaranteed to put some grit in your teeth.

SHE LAUGHS

Yeah.

OK, here we are.

Oh, my goodness me, Nico. All good.

What you doing, man?

THEY LAUGH

Oh, good grief.

All I could hear is David in the back going,

"Look at that beautiful view," and I'm thinking I'm going to die!

Well, I've been shaken to within an inch of my life.

Let's hope it's all been worth it.

This is what this trip is all about.

It's about getting away from all the crowds down in Dubrovnik

and getting up here.

I'm not having to fight for a spot to take the best shot you can get.

And the air is so beautiful and clean

and the view is just uninterrupted.

Oh...

Breathe it in.

From this incredible vantage point, I can actually see my ship.

Which reminds me, it's leaving in a couple of hours.

Ooh, I'm nearly there. I'm nearly there!

Just got one tender to get on. Hello. Hello, madam.

Good morning. How are you? I'm very well. How are you?

I'm very good, ma'am. Welcome on board. Thank you.

I'll get everything on board when I get there. Yes.

Thank you very much. Please watch your step.

This is a first for me.

I've never actually boarded via tender before.

Bless you, thank you. Careful, it's heavy.

It's heavy? Yeah... Oh, God, you are strong.

Thank you very much.

I think I'll just go over here, out the way.

That's it.

OK. I'm nearly there!

This is the last bit, you see,

it's the last push before I can unpack this and, er...

..that's when I know I'm on my holidays, when everything's hung up.

SHE LAUGHS

Oh, come on, let's go, let's go.

Coming up...

Bravissima!

..I go blowing bubbles in Venice...

SHE SCREAMS

..and visit the oyster capital of the Adriatic.

Just fabulous. Just fabulous!

Welcome back to Dubrovnik, jewel in Croatia's crown

and starting from me seven day cruise on the gorgeous Adriatic Sea.

It's a shame to do it all on my own, so how about coming with me?

Now, I've seen my share of seas and oceans,

but this stretch really is among the most breathtaking.

Even in September it's warm enough to take a dip,

but it's the deep colour that makes it unique.

It even has its own name - Adriatic Blue.

No matter how many times I get on a cruise ship,

I'm this excited, all the time, because is just...

..something I have a passion for.

And one of the reasons for that is the people I meet on board.

That are more than 350 passengers on this one

and we're all in for a treat as we explore 380 miles of coastline

over the next week.

Hello. Steps. Thank you.

Right, I'm on.

Woohoo-hoo!

Good afternoon, madam. Hello. Welcome on board.

Would you care for some welcome drinks?

No, I'm good. Thank you anyway. Thank you very much.

Do not to just adjust your set,

you are watching Cruising With Jane McDonald

and normal behaviour will resume shortly.

Hello.

Thank you. Can I have your passport, please? You certainly can.

Thank you.

Check in complete, I'm off to view me cabin.

Oh, my goodness me.

Now, here's something that takes me back 30-odd years.

Now, have you noticed,

I've gone straight behind the bar, not in front of it?

Because this is where I'm most at home!

Being a barmaid never leaves you.

Look at the size of this wardrobe!

You could have a dance in here, couldn't you?

Separate toilet.

I like a good, solid door on my toilet.

Call me old-fashioned...

..but, you know, if someone's in the...

You down what I mean? I don't like...

I like a door on my khazi, and that's it.

So it's a tick for the toilet.

That just leaves the bed.

I'm going to do it!

Woo! I'm on my holidays!

From here, we'll be going up the coast to Korcula

and visiting the oyster capital of Croatia.

Then we'll sail up the northern Adriatic

to pay a quick visit to Venice.

We'll head back down the Dalmatian Coast to sample Split for a bit,

then round it all off in Montenegro as we call into Kotor.

Morning! Thank you.

Right, after leaving Dubrovnik overnight,

we've reached day two and it's an early start.

The port of Korcula's too small for us to dock in,

so the captain's dropped his anchor

and arranged a transfer over by tender.

The perfect way to view the stunning stretch of Dalmatian Coast.

It's so beautiful and it's really worth getting up

at quarter to six this morning for!

It really is worth setting that alarm

and seeing a sunrise

and seeing a beautiful place like this.

Thank you. Thank you very much. Morning, ma'am. Morning. Morning.

Korcula's reputed to be the birthplace

of the explorer Marco Polo, and worth a visit itself.

But, today, it's just our landing spot.

From here, our guide Petra's whisking us off to a secluded bay

called Mali Ston, famed for its oysters.

What we will do next is go far away from here.

Our boat is over there - Marmo.

Let's go. Please follow me.

We're doing this leg of the journey by boat and coach

and it'll take about an hour.

Plenty of time to chat with my shipmates, MJ and David.

What are you expecting?

Well, I think it's probably as Croatia used to be years ago,

it's been unspoilt. Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Oysters, do you like them as well? He doesn't.

No, I don't actually like them. I like them. Do you not like oysters?

Oh, God. Do you know what? It's like Marmite,

you either love them... Yes.

I don't dislike them, they just don't taste of anything.

No. Sort of salt water. Yeah.

Crunchy salt water.

Oh! You're not... You're not selling it!

The pristine bay of Mali Ston has been a breeding ground for oysters

since Roman times.

But this place produces something else, which, back then,

was even more valuable.

Long before the days of fridges,

salt was essential for preserving food.

So the salt pools here were considered so precious

they built a huge defensive wall around them.

There's only one in the world that's longer,

and that's the Great Wall of China.

The walls used to go all around the city.

You will see the big kasteel, the big fortress.

They used to go all around the hill,

protecting the fortress all the way up there.

I don't know if you can see it, where the flag is.

If you fancy a good walk,

you can do the whole length of the walls on foot

for an £8 entrance fee.

Have you got your running shoes with you?

No. Not for me, David. Are you going to do it?

Yeah, I think so - this afternoon. Yeah. Why not? Yeah.

You've had your oysters. After a glass of wine.

Yeah, sounds good to me. Yeah.

I'll follow you.

SHE LAUGHS

Yeah.

Apparently it's the combination of the salty water

and the mineral rich Neretva River

that make the bay ideal for oyster breeding.

Ey-up.

It's OK. Got you. Thank you!

And now we're being taken out to the beds themselves.

So these are the oyster... Are these the...

..the pools? I think...

..the oyster pots are underneath. Ah.

Yeah, sometimes they play music in these. Do they?

It attracts the oysters. Yep.

You're winding me up, aren't you? You're winding me up again!

Oh, what's this? Orange... Sugar-covered orange peel

and sugared almonds. It's very traditional. OK. Traditional sweet.

Tastes like home-made gummy bears. Try it, it's good. Mm.

Ooh, that were lovely.

Local nibbles and Croatian grappa - definitely my sort of ride.

Cheers. Cheers.

Oh-ho-ho!

Oh-ho-ho-ho! Oh, that's warmed the cockles of my oyster. Yep.

Oh, my goodness me.

Couldn't you hear the oysters before?

Yeah! Yep... I can hear the music now. Yeah, yeah!

A ten-minute journey and we reach our restaurant.

I'm told that one of the old Austrian emperors

was so fond of the oysters from this bay,

he had cases of them shipped to his palace in Vienna, 560 miles away.

My fellow passengers, Charles and Emily, are keen on them too

by the sound of it.

Are you a big oyster fan? Oh, love 'em.

Why are you such a fan of them?

Just because they have such a fresh taste, I guess.

We grow through the Nature Conservancy

and the local university.

Time for lunch.

I'm just going to watch Charles, that's all I'm gonna do.

And if he eats it, I'll eat it.

He eats anything.

He'll eat anything. Will he?

Now, the main event.

Ostrea edulis - that's European flat oysters to you and me -

straight from the sea.

Is it good?

Delicious. Way!

Right, we can eat 'em.

You put a little bit of lemon on.

Right.

OK, time for my well-considered and highly descriptive verdict.

Just fabulous.

Just fabulous!

They reckon Casanova could put away 50 of these with a lady friend,

but I'm settling for just a couple.

Well, I'm a long way from Ed!

Yeah, right, I'm on. Thank you.

Well, what a memorable afternoon this has been.

Delicious food in one of Croatia's best kept secrets.

I'm... I'm just...

It is paradise.

It's absolutely stunning.

I've never been to this place, I've never even heard of this place.

But just look at it.

I feel like I just want to shut the door on the world

and stay here, just for a short time,

and just take it all in.

But I can't.

There's a ship ready to sail and it ain't gonna wait for me.

On the plus side, it's cocktail hour on board,

a good excuse for a drink and a mingle.

See, being on a cruise is all about being up here,

meeting new friends.

Hi. Hi. Do you mind if I join you?

Is that all right? Sorry, I'm Jane.

Hi. Stuart. Stuart. Chris.

Chris. Nice to meet you. And you.

Oh, I like that look of that. What's that?

BBC. BBC. Baileys, banana and coconut.

What are you on? Mojito.

Mojito, that's a bit nice as well. Yeah. Yeah.

So why did you book this trip?

This is one of the best ways to go on holiday. Yeah.

You don't have to worry about finding a restaurant,

finding a bar, you can just get it all here. Yeah.

And the sun, as well, helps.

It's not bad, is it? No!

I surprised this one by planning our renewal of wedding vows

on board as well. No! Yes.

Oh, congratulations! Thank you. Thank you.

Oh, what a lovely thing to do. Absolutely thrilled to bits for you.

I really am.

I'm gonna go and get myself a BBC now!

And then probably a mojito. Well, may as well.

All right. Thank you so much for saying hello.

That's all right. It's nice to meet you. And you're gorgeous.

Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. See you later.

See you later. See you later. Bye!

Actually, I'll just one drink as I need to be up early.

Overnight, we'll leaving the Dalmatian Coast

and travelling 300 miles north to somewhere a bit, mm, special.

MUSIC: La Donna E Mobile from Rigoletto

Well, I keep my promises, don't I?

This, as if you need telling,

is Italy's and probably the world's most romantic city.

A network of more than 100 islands,

crisscrossed by centuries old man-made waterways.

Thanks. See you later!

Now, everywhere with a couple of canals

thinks it's the Venice of that area.

But today, I'm in the real Venice.

And you can't help but fall in love with this place.

I actually fell in love with it a long time ago,

and have been lucky enough to return again and again.

But if you're going for the first time, here's a few dos and don'ts.

First, Venice attracts up to 60,000 visitors a day,

many of them from cruise ships, so do try and avoid the crowds.

Early morning and late evenings are best

and it's wise to steer clear in the summer.

Do visit St Mark's Square, and its incredible 500-year-old piazza.

But avoid the cafes and restaurants there

as the prices are even more breathtaking.

Thank you. Ooh!

If you take a water taxi, don't forget to duck.

Ooh, that is low! That is low.

Do take a walk over some of the bridges,

especially the Rialto, which spans the Grand Canal.

And, finally, don't miss the unique experience of a Venice gondola,

a standard 25-minute private ride during the daytime

costs around 80 euros.

Welcome back to my week-long tour of the fantastic Adriatic.

I've stopped off on the Venetian island of Murano,

home of the world famous glass.

Murano is less than a mile away from actual Venice,

and it's where all the Venetian glass is made

and it's been here since 1291.

1291!

That's incredible, isn't it, really?

So this is quite exciting for me cos I love glass

and I love chandeliers and...

Well, I think you all know I like a chandelier.

I've taken a private taxi,

but you can hop on the water bus in St Mark's Square

and be here within 40 minutes.

It's home to around 70 factories, producing the finest glass pieces,

using centuries old techniques.

A few will even let you see how it's done.

Ooh, you're strong.

Thank you very much. Bye-bye. Bye.

I'm at the Fornace Mian workshop,

where I'm meeting up with sales manager Indrit

and his team of master craftsmen.

This is the part in which the magic start.

Yeah. OK?

Hello. Buongiorno! Buongiorno.

This is Paolo. Paolo. He's our best master.

Oh, such an honour to meet you.

An honour.

Oh, this is... This is the... Oh!

He's the master, the grand master.

I've seen glass-blown before,

looks a bit like making candyfloss.

The masters work with no gloves, OK? Wow.

They use newspapers, old newspapers, and they just shape it.

They feel the glass with this newspaper.

That molten glass is 1,100 degrees, by the way.

11 times hotter than boiling water.

Paolo started working with glass when he was just ten years old,

and he's been a master since he was 16.

Ooh!

With the same tools that have been used for centuries,

it takes him four days to make a distinctive Murano chandelier.

Gosh, that's amazing.

I can see it starting to transform before my eyes.

SHE CHUCKLES

Oh, wow!

Those six decades of practice certainly show.

That is...

I never thought that was how you made that.

Wow! And if you put, like, your hand like this...

Ah! ..you can feel the temperature. That's so hot.

That is incredible.

The finished piece now has to temper slowly in a cooler oven

so it doesn't shatter.

While it's doing so...

Now is your turn to try this out, OK? Me?

Let's go and blow it.

It's the Generation Game.

Blow, blow, blow, yeah?

OK. Please.

I'm sure there's a joke to be made about this,

but I'm just too busy concentrating on the job.

Very good, very good.

Bravissima!

Bravissima.

OK. OK.

Oh! Very good of you. Believe me, it's hard to do it.

Lungs of a singer!

SHE SCREAMS

SHE LAUGHS

My best compliments, believe me. Oh, thank you very much.

There are masters which are not able to do it. Really?

They haven't enough power.

THEY LAUGH

Bravissima.

Grazie mille. Grazie mille.

Well, I won't forget that experience in a hurry.

SHE LAUGHS

HE SPEAKS IN ITALIAN

And if the voice ever packs up,

I reckon Paolo'll take me on as his apprentice.

Oh!

After showing me how it's made at one of the factories,

sales manager Indrit's taking me to the shop next door

to see some of the finished products.

Oh, my goodness me. Look at this!

Oh, I'm in chandelier heaven.

Oh, wow!

Look at this one.

Gosh...

I daren't even touch anything.

This is incredible.

Wow.

Some of these chandeliers are even not for sale,

are just like a museum.

I can see why.

When Murano glass production was at its peak about 500 years ago,

the super rich Venetian merchants would come here to buy

the next showstopper for their homes.

Ooh! Look at this one, I love that.

Oh. This one... Yeah. ..you will see it also in another one.

The technique, that is called Rezzonico. Rezzonico.

Rezzonico, it... Well, in the past, the factories was owned

by the aristocratic families.

There was the familia Rezzonico, the familia Delfino,

so they used to have also their own symbol.

Just fancy being that wealthy

that you've got your own glass-maker.

I mean, that is wealth.

It is exquisite.

There's room after room of these amazing handcrafted pieces.

And just when you think it can't get any more jaw dropping...

SHE GASPS

Oh, look at this!

This is our masterpiece.

Oh, it's incredible.

And so beautiful.

I mean, beautiful doesn't do it justice, does it?

It's exquisite and unique, I would think.

It's one of a kind.

After seeing, close-up, how pieces like this are put together,

thinking of those incredibly skilled craftsmen I met,

who do it all by hand in searing temperatures,

it all makes me a bit, well...

SHE LAUGHS

It's just incredible to see talent so beautiful.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, it's quite overwhelming.

Thank you. This is what we love in our job. Oh!

You, like people that get lost in their emotions.

We're midway through this latest cruise,

and as we've spent so much time on land,

I'm looking forward to some time on the ship.

We're sailing more than 300 miles south to our next stop,

so there's plenty of opportunity to relax and take it easy.

SHE EXHALES

There is just something about being at sea

that makes me feel so good.

Go see if anybody else feels like me.

Can I join you for a little bit? Of course.

How long have you been on?

Since Thursday. Thursday. Is this friend or relative?

Oh, I'm her daughter. Oh, lovely.

But you're enjoying it? Yes, lovely. Yeah.

I like it cos wherever you go, you don't see crowds of people.

That's true, innit? I don't know where everyone is.

I don't... I'm not bothered, are you?

No!

THEY LAUGH

I always get a feel good sensation whatever boat I'm on,

but this one stands out from the rest.

I'm going to share something with you.

The ship is extremely special to me...

..due to the fact that...

..it was the first cruise that my mum and I came on

and it was on this very, very ship

and I wanted to come back and see...

..and remember.

It's just got great memories.

Great memories.

And it's funny because I wondered how I would feel, erm,

cos it isn't long since I've lost my mum and I thought,

am I going to be really upset,

coming back on and reliving it all, that I did with Mum?

But, actually, it's not, it's filling me with joy,

of such a great time that we had, you know, we were quite wild.

My mother was a bit of a wild one.

And it was great fun.

And just seeing and remembering her in this restaurant,

on the captain's table,

drinking fantastic drinks and enjoying life

and watching her laugh.

I've got great memories of this lounge.

And you have your own place.

I mean, me and my mum used to sit at this table,

this very... This is where my mum used to sit...

..in this very seat...

..and drink her whisky.

Eee, we had some good times on there.

Right, our journey from Venice is nearly done

and we're pulling into our next stop -

Croatia's second largest city, Split.

The port's right near the centre of the city,

which is handy if you haven't got long to see the sights.

Oh, morning!

The ship's laid on an excursion,

led by Haroche, or Harry to us tourists.

I always find it best to use a local guide.

There's no time wasted,

they just take you straight to the most interesting spots.

Today, we're going to focus mostly on the ancient Roman palace.

We won't be exploring ruins,

but intact structures which are fully inhabited.

The Roman emperor Diocletian built the palace 1,700 years ago.

Incredible to think he would've entered it through this very gate.

Oh, gosh, I didn't expect this, did you?

When you hear "palace" you do tend to think of one big fancy building,

but this one's very different.

Inside the original Roman walls is a three-acre complex

and it contains more than 200 newer buildings, including churches,

apartments, cafes and businesses,

all lining the maze of streets.

Behind me is the biggest bell tower in Dalmatia.

66 metres or 200 feet.

And it took us 200 years to build it,

from the 13th to the 15th century.

In Roman times, the leaders allowed their people to take refuge

in here from hostile forces.

Today, the palace is still home to thousands.

Not Romans or refugees, just very lucky locals.

This is where people live in the palace today.

Even in winter time when there is no tourism,

it's still a living place.

And what I like about Split most of all is that locals

are still in the old town.

Sure, we have plenty of people visiting us today,

but the locals are still here.

The prices are still more than reasonable and we like it here.

It feels good being in the Roman palace.

And if you want proof that this really is a living, breathing palace

rather than some dusty, ancient relic,

take a look at this - very Yorkshire!

You know, there's something quite heart-warming

to see somebody's washing out

in a palace because the commoners are allowed to live here.

And I think that's brilliant.

Get your doors open,

get your washing out.

You're very welcome.

RELIGIOUS CHOIR MUSIC

There's no entrance fee to the palace complex.

But you do have to pay to go inside some buildings

like the bell tower and cathedral.

RELIGIOUS CHOIR MUSIC CONTINUES

Mind you, you do get a free soundtrack.

I'm hearing angels.

When I hear singing, I have to find the source.

What a treat this is.

This is busking split style, big, bold and brilliant.

You'll find them here most days during the summer season.

And the acoustics in this preserved Roman vestibule -

that's the emperor's waiting room -

are just perfect for these glorious voices.

APPLAUSE

You could spend hours here - walk, eat, drink, stop for a chat

with the odd centurion.

And if you don't like crowds, I'd avoid the middle of the day.

And if you come at night, don't worry about closing time

cos the gates are always open.

I absolutely love this place cos it's steeped in history.

It reminds me a little bit of York but with a lot more sunshine.

But now it's time to SPLIT from sunny Split

for the last leg of my journey.

Coming up, marvellous Montenegro.

We're going to visit that little island, there,

cos there's a story why this is there -

the place where miracles are made.

Oh, we do love a legend.

I'm in the final stages of my cruise on the Adriatic -

seven days of see, sun and unsensational sights.

We've experienced some of the best

that northern Italy and Croatia have to offer.

But now we're sailing further south and saying hello to Montenegro

and its magical Bay of Kotor.

Now, we've filmed us sailing away from lots of beautiful ports

in this series,

but if you want to know what it's like sailing into one,

just look at this.

Dawn's only just broken,

but no-one wants to miss our arrival in the bay.

I'll be saying goodbye to the ship here,

but it's leaving me with a view I won't forget.

It is breathtaking.

And speaking of breath, the air here is just so clear and so pure...

BREATHES DEEPLY

..and you feel like it's doing your lungs good.

I have to say, I've done many, many trips, but this coastline, for me,

is up there in the top three.

It's just stunning.

Every port I've gone into has been

breathtaking and memorable and beautiful.

And it's a wonderful, wonderful trip.

Along with its neighbour, Croatia, Montenegro was part

of the former Yugoslavia.

It only has a population of 620,000.

And it feels wonderfully off-the-beaten tourist track,

for now at least.

Thank you very much.

Enjoy your stay. Oh, we will.

I've got a whole day to explore it.

So, I've booked the excursion everyone raves about.

We're on a 20-minute drive up the coast, a short journey,

but this is only the first leg.

We've now arrived in somewhere called Perast.

And this is Boka, which means Bay.

And we're going to visit that little island, there,

because there's a story why this is there.

It's called Our Lady of the Rocks

and it has just enough room for one small church

and an even smaller museum.

You can easily catch a boat over to it from the jetty on the waterfront.

There are loads of them crisscrossing the bay all day.

Now, apparently, this island was man-made.

And the legend goes that on a summer's evening in 1452,

sailors saw the image of the Madonna on a rock here.

So, they made an oath at the end of a voyage,

and at the same time every year,

to bring more rocks to this spot as an offering.

Over the centuries,

all those rocks piled up on top of each other

began to emerge from the sea.

And this island was formed.

And every July the 22nd at sunset,

there's an annual ritual called fasinada

when locals come here in boats of all shapes and sizes

and throw more rocks into the water.

Oh, we do love a legend.

The Catholic Church of Our Lady of the Rocks was built on the ruins

of the original Orthodox one were nearly 300 years ago.

Inside, the Carrara marble altar features

a priceless 15th century icon of the Madonna herself.

Up to 10,000 people a day come here to visit and worship every summer.

If you want to join them, do be aware of local sensitivities.

The entire island is considered a holy place,

so you'll need to dress appropriately.

No bikini tops and shirts or t-shirts for men are a must.

This island in front is called St George's Island

and it houses a monastery.

The locals call it the Island of the Dead

because they all say it's cursed.

But I think it's just to keep us all out.

JANE LAUGHS

What a completely charming place.

It might be Montenegro's most visited site,

but it's felt like another world.

Late afternoon and I'm back on the mainland.

The heat's starting to subside, so it's the perfect time

to take a stroll around the old walled town of Kotor before I go.

It's one of the best preserved settlements

from the Middle Ages.

Oh, ey.

You can just imagine this bustling city or town...

..all those years ago in medieval times.

I don't think it's changed that much, actually.

Oh, look at this lovely church.

So, this is obviously the cathedral of the city.

And, you know what I'm living about this -

it's welcoming.

It's understated.

I mean, some of the fantastic churches we've seen in Venice

and Dubrovnik are like, "Whoa! I'm here."

This one is saying,

"Why don't you come in and sit down and a little pray?"

It is absolutely lovely.

It's a maze of narrow streets with pretty shops and cafes.

And the mixed architecture reflects all the nations that have claimed

ownership over the centuries.

Greeks, Romans, Venetians, Turks, they've all been here,

as has another group of people known for getting about a bit.

Is that a Wakefield accent? Yeah, Manygates Lane. Manygates Lane.

My gosh, I could walk it to your house from mine. Yeah, yeah.

Hark at us, hark at us from Wakefield.

JANE LAUGHS

It's our 50th wedding anniversary celebration.

Oh, congratulations to the both of you. I'm sorry, what's your name?

Jacqui. Jacqui and... Graham. And Graham.

Really nice to meet you.

What do you think of Montenegro?

Oh, it's lovely, isn't it?

Old and olde worlde. Yeah. Yeah.

It's lovely. It is. Lovely little narrow streets.

Yeah, they're lovely, aren't they? They're like York. Yeah.

And they just see the ambience of the place is gorgeous.

Walking around, you feel safe. Yes.

And it's warm. Oh, I know.

Well, I hope I'll see you in Wakefield sometime. So do we.

Happy anniversary. Thank you. Have a wonderful time.

Thank you. See you later.

Bye. Bye.

Well, what a lovely surprise that was

at the end of a journey that's been full of them.

From Dubrovnik to Venice, from Split to Kotor,

I've loved every minute.

As for the ship itself, it's brought back personal memories

and created a whole set of new ones.

And that's what cruising's about,

getting out there and making memories while you can.

# It's now or never

# Come hold me tight

# Kiss me my darling

# Be mine tonight

# Tomorrow will be too late

# It's now or never

# My love won't wait

# When I first saw you

# With your smile so tender

# My heart was captured

# My soul surrendered

# I'd spend a lifetime

# Waiting for the right time

# Now that your near

# The time is here at last

# It's now or never

# Come hold me tight

# Kiss me my darling

# Be mine tonight

# Tomorrow will be too late

# It's now or never

# My love won't wait

# It's now or never

# My love won't wait. #

It's like climbing Mount Zuvis.

What? JANE LAUGHS

It's Vesuvius. Vesuvius.

JANE CHUCKLES

This time, Greece is the word, and I'm setting sail for seven days

of summer lovin'.

I love my life, yes!

Leave me here.

I'm hopping my way around five Aegean islands,

each of them stunning,

all of them strictly Greek.

I can't work out my left and my right.

What is the matter with me?

From the splendour of Santorini...

It's absolutely breathtaking.

..to the madness of Mykonos.

It's like Wakefield Casanova's all over again.

This is an adventure packed with history, culture

and gorgeous blokes.

He just caresses, teases and it just opens up.

And at the centre of it all, this jewel of the seas.

So hop on board with me and discover your inner Shirley Valentine.

Cheers.

Welcome to Athens.

It's the capital of Greece and the perfect place

to start my epic adventure.

It's also one of the world's oldest cities, steeped in history.

I'd love to explore it all, but I've only got a few hours.

It's July and it's 34 degrees

and it's too hot to travel anywhere on foot.

So I'm going to Segway into the next little bit.

I've heard that one way to see the city without breaking

into a sweat is on a guided Segway tour.

Looks quite hard.

It's not, it's natural,

and everything is controlled by your body.

Yeah, that's what my problem is.

My body is out of control.

BOTH LAUGH

No, don't worry. Anybody can do that. Right.

Lean. There we... Hey! I'm not doing anything.

You're doing it. JANE CHUCKLES

So how are you going to stop?

Perfecto. I like that smile.

Yeah. Am I a natural on this? Yes.

I'm doing this, look at this, look at this.

This is the best thing ever.

No walking, no chafing.

I love it. You can really whiz. It's fab.

The Segway was developed back in the '90s.

It's self balancing, which means it's hard to fall off,

even if you're as clumsy as me.

It floats along at 12mph, so you get a lovely breeze

while you take in the highlights.

Plus, you get to pack in loads more of this historic city

in a short space of time, starting with the fabulous Arch of Hadrian.

During the 2nd century AD, Athenians has decided to build an arch

in order to honour the Roman emperor.

What's it made of? Stone?

It's made of marble. Marble? Yeah.

We've got a Marble Arch in England as well.

This one is 1,700 years older than the one in London.

It was built to commemorate the Roman emperor Hadrian's

visit to Athens.

So, let's go to our next stop.

OK! Thank you!

Next, the Panathenaic Stadium,

the only one in the world built entirely out of marble.

It hosted the first modern Olympic Games way back in 1896.

Then, we're on to the wonderful Temple of Olympian Zeus,

the top dog when it comes to Greek gods.

And finally, it's a quick whizz to check out Athens'

most famous landmark of all.

Wow, look at that!

Gosh!

So is this the Parthenon or the Acropolis?

Actually, in Greek, Acropolis means "the upper part of the city",

so this whole is the Acropolis of Athens.

But the main temple is called Parthenon

and it was dedicated to Athena.

And she was a virgin. Yeah?

Actually, Parthenon in Greek means "The temple of the virgin".

Do you have to be either a virgin or a goddess to get in there?

Yeah. Only the priestess or the goddess... Really?

..could enter the temple.

I better stay down there, then! JANE LAUGHS

You know, I'm going to be honest.

History was never my thing at school.

But actually being here, I've learned more about Greece

in one day than I ever did at school.

That says a lot, doesn't it?

Bye!

This fabulous tour is over - and I've cooled down a treat.

MAN: It's pretty easy.

Ooh, there's a familiar accent!

Sorry to interrupt. You've got to be from Yorkshire. I am, yeah.

Have you come out here on holidays?

Yeah. Well, it was our other daughter's wedding...

Yeah. ..on Santorini. Ooh! You know the island?

I'm going to Santorini. Is it fabulous?

It's stunning. Yeah. Best ever. Really? Our favourite island...

The sunsets are awesome. GASPS: Fantastic!

You'll love it. You'll love it. It's amazing. Fabulous!

Sunset in Santorini sounds divine.

Time to get on board the ship that's going to take me there.

I'm spending the next seven days island-hopping on this girl.

She's the same one that took me around Cuba last year.

I am going to take you back on the Celestyal Crystal

and show you all the top tips.

Come on!

On this week-long cruise, we'll be setting sail from Athens,

heading to the party island of Mykonos.

Then we mellow out in Milos,

before taking in sizzling Santorini.

After that, we'll sample some culture in Crete

and finally steer in towards Samos.

SING-SONGY: Off we go!

Hello! Welcome on board. Thank you very much.

Ooh!

Here it is - my cabin.

It's compact, clean and practical.

It sleeps four and there's a smart en-suite.

Ey, they've spruced this up, haven't they, since Cuba?

It's definitely had a bit of a nip and a tuck.

And let's be honest - wish I could have said the same!

Now, there are two types of cruising.

One is luxury everywhere, drinking champagne

and watching the world go by from your balcony -

and practically never getting off the ship -

or there's this type of cruise, and this is a destination cruise.

This is where you've got an extremely functional cabin

which is clean and the staff are great,

but it's all about the destination.

It's time to get this adventure started!

There is something really magical about every single sail away

because everybody is out here, drinking a cocktail.

It's their first day of the cruise, they're on holiday,

and it's goodbye, Athens, and it's stin iyia mas!

Cheers!

We're on a holiday! Yes!

Coming up, I dust off me dancing shoes

for a sparkling night out in Mykonos...

CHEERING

..and I get to take in that incredible Santorini sunset.

I'm not here on me own.

Just look at that.

My Greek island-hopping cruise is well under way.

Day 2, and I'm reacquainted myself with my old friend,

the Celestyal Crystal.

This is me camera on a stick, so I don't need you.

I'll just go off with you, so we can have a little look round and...

WHISPERS: Take the morning off.

So I'm off. Should we go?

There are ten decks housing nearly 500 cabins,

meaning they can squeeze 1,200 passengers onboard.

And with a gym, sauna and beauty centre,

there's plenty to keep them all busy between stops.

Hello! How are you doing?

That's the restaurant. That's a very popular place.

Thank you, as always.

There are, in fact, three restaurants to choose from.

If you don't fancy going to the full dressed-up restaurant,

this place, you can eat in any time, but you are guaranteed...

If you come in for a little plate of pasta...

..you'll still end up having three courses!

JANE LAUGHS

People are very friendly on ships.

And I love this theatre because it's very...

It's very like a cabaret club.

Nice to see you again! Thank you.

Still looking fabulous!

Oh, thank you! Thank you! JANE LAUGHS

Shore Excursions - very, very busy.

Everybody signing up now.

Little tip again.

You know, if you really, really do want to visit somewhere,

go online and make sure you do it before you get here.

And this cruise really is about exploring the destinations.

Talking of which, we've reached our first -

the island of Mykonos, 100 miles away from Athens.

You've just caught me flicking through me tweets, haven't you?

I've put a little message out on Twitter

to see what to do in Mykonos,

and I got some lovely replies back.

One from Snazzle2323 - "Mum's just come back from there

"and sat each night where Shirley Valentine did by the sea."

So that would be nice to recreate that.

Lesley Green - "Absolutely, shopping, shopping." Er...

"Mykonos is a bit lively."

According to this, it's fantastic beaches, great restaurants,

fabulous shopping through the day, and then...boom!

It's party time!

Mykonos... Lots of people saying on here Jackie O's

and a place called...SantAnna.

SantAnna.

So I'm going to try and get to at least one of those

to have a bit of a night out.

I'm looking forward to it! Do you fancy it?

Come on, you know you want to!

And you SHOULD fancy it because this place is simply fabulous.

It's the Saint-Tropez of the Greek islands.

But before we check out the night-time clubbing,

time for some daytime shopping.

Just to let you know that Mykonos Old Town

is all pedestrianised.

So if you get dropped off by the bus,

it can't get you right into the centre,

so make sure you've got some really comfortable shoes on

because you'll be doing an awful lot of walking -

not these like I've got.

No pain, no gain, though.

And there are loads of little designer boutiques to explore.

So I might just have a look in this shop!

Just be sure to bring some smelling salts.

Look at these sparkles!

How much is that?

Well, that's 2,500.

2,500? Yeah.

2,000 quid for a sparkly top?

That's more than you'd pay for this whole cruise!

It's class.

1,909? Yes.

Those are a bit short-shorts, aren't they?

They're 935....

935 euros?!

Do you know what I feel like?

I feel like I'm in that Pretty Woman film.

You know, where they're going to kick me out at any minute!

And you know what? They should do.

If they know how much I got in my purse, I wouldn't have got in!

Sadly, there's no sign of Richard Gere popping up

and spoiling me rotten, so I'm off to drown my sorrows

with a cheeky afternoon cocktail.

This bar is one of the most exclusive in Mykonos.

It's called the Kitrino Bar -

and it means yellow!

Who knew that? Who knew?

So just come, come and have a little cocktail. That's what I'm doing!

I love my life! Yes!

Leave me here!

This is where all the celebrities hang out.

And as if by magic, this morning, it's Gemma Bissix!

Hello, darling! How are you?

Fancy seeing you here. Fancy? What are you doing here?

We just got married. You're joking!

Can I see it? Please do.

Well, if this place is good enough for Clare Bates off EastEnders,

then it's good enough for me.

And this is Kristian... Hello, Kristian. Hi. ..my husband.

Ooh, do you like saying like that? I do like it, yeah!

It's fabulous, isn't it? So you just got here? Yeah.

Couple of hours ago. Why Mykonos?

Well, we came two years ago with our first daughter, Juliet,

and then saw it sort of from the family perspective.

And we thought we wanted to come and get involved in the sort of

party side of it. So you're here to party? I think so, this time.

It's just the most beautiful place. It's one of our favourite places in the whole world, isn't it?

I mean, we absolutely love... We love Greece in general... Yeah.

..but Mykonos itself - the island, the service, the people - it's just fantastic.

Congratulations. Thanks, Jane. Thank you very much.

All the best, my lovely! And you, too, sweetheart!

See you later. Have a nice time. Bye!

I'll go blend into some furniture.

As night falls, this island truly comes alive.

And with the luxury of an overnight stay here,

you can really get involved in the legendary party scene.

I can't believe it - I'm going clubbing!

It's like Wakefield Casanovas all over again!

This place describes itself as the ultimate beach club,

which is no more than you'd expect when you're paying a shedload

for the drinks.

CHEERING

But the music's pumpin', everybody's dancing,

so why not let your hair down and have a blast?

Tell you what, I crammed a lot in today.

But to be honest, I'm going back in for a cuppa tea on the ship!

It's Day 3, and after the mayhem of Mykonos,

we've got a three-hour pit stop on sleepy Milos.

This, to me, is real Greece. It's tranquil,

it's a fishing village and it's unspoiled.

So, it's the perfect place to catch your breath, relax and unwind.

Do you know what? Milos, this lovely island,

is known as the "island of colours" thanks to its dual-coloured waters -

so it says here. But, not only that, the Venus de Milo

was actually discovered here.

And if you don't know what I'm talking about, it's this.

And of course, she got transported over to Paris, to the Louvre,

and I'm wondering if that's when her arms fell off -

because, let's be honest,

there weren't any bubble wrap in them days, were there?

Well, the Venus de Milo may be in Paris now,

but there's still plenty to see here.

The volcanic rocks create an explosion of colour

and the harbourside is perfect for a wander.

Then we're back on the ship for the overnight sail into Santorini,

where I'll have two whole days to take in the sights.

SIGHS: Heaven!

Good morning, dreamy, dreamy Santorini!

Now, listen. It weren't so dreamy many, many years ago because...

I know it's hard to believe this,

but we are actually sailing in a volcano.

It's a dormant one, thank goodness,

but all this is all the rim of the volcano.

Many, many years ago, the African plate met the Greek plate

and it had a bit of a... Woo! ..boom.

Out of all that catastrophe came such beauty.

GASPS: Let's go and explore!

Thank you! Thank you.

To get to shore, you need to hop on a smaller boat called a tender.

They run all day, but it's best not to come too early.

These are very, very busy,

especially first thing in the morning and last thing at night,

when it's coming back.

Around lunchtime, which is now, it's nearly empty.

So, you can always get a nice little travel with not too many crowds.

Oh, yeah!

And make sure you check the boards for the last trip back to the ship.

You really don't want to miss that unless you're a very good swimmer.

My first day here is all about sightseeing,

and I'm in good company.

Millions of tourists visit Santorini every year,

making it one of the most popular of all Greek destinations after Athens.

We're 'ere in 'ere. It's called 'ere here.

Santorini is named after a saint called Irene - Saint Irene...

Ey, I know an Irene and she's no saint, I can tell you.

So come on, Irene!

It's a busy place and you can't get anywhere in a hurry,

so...just go with the flow.

Actually, going at this pace is quite nice

cos you don't miss anything either.

Now, we're here today in the most photographed place ever.

Every photograph, every TV show,

every single person who comes to Santorini wants this shot,

and you'll see why.

JANE GASPS Oh, it's... It is absolutely...

It's absolutely breathtaking. It's absolutely beautiful.

All the blue domes, and I've seen that...

..so many times.

This island's often been voted one of the world's most beautiful,

so no wonder it attracts visitors from all over.

As well as snapping that view,

they all seem to take a selfie or two.

I can hear an English accent here.

Hello!

THEY GREET

Nice to meet you! How are you doing? Well, thank you.

Yeah, have you been taking selfies?

Oh, loads of them! Absolutely loads of them!

It's like Selfie Central here, isn't it, really? It's gorgeous.

What is it about Santorini that you thought, "I'm going there"?

My sister actually booked a holiday and we sort of gate-crashed.

THEY LAUGH I like them type of holidays!

Yeah. Well, it's nice when somebody else picks as well -

cos then it's not your fault if you don't like it. Yeah...

I'm not a sight-seeing person, but this is...

This is stunning. It is lovely, isn't it?

Thank you for talking to me and enjoy the rest of the holiday!

THEY LAUGH See you later!

Most cruises will be heading off by this time,

but with our overnight stay, we can hang on long enough to capture

that incredible Santorini sunset that I was tipped off about.

This is the thing we've all been waiting for,

which is the amazing sunset.

And although I look like I'm solitary, sat on this wall...

..in a very romantic mode...

..I'm not here on me own.

Just look at that!

Do you remember that scene in The Life of Brian?

It's always nice to share these special moments -

and to capture the perfect sunset selfie.

One tip for you is to get down here nice and early

to grab the best viewpoints.

Wow!

CROWD APPLAUDS

Innit fabulous?

Nature never ceases to amaze.

Coming up, a starring role in Octopussy...

It's all Greek to me, this.

..and an audition for the not-so-great pottery throw-down.

It's... It's a waste of clay.

It's Day 5 of my Greek island-hopping adventure,

and we're anchored off the beautiful island of Santorini.

Jane! Oh, hello! That's a Northern accent.

Where are you from? Yorkshire. Yorkshire? Whereabouts?

Wakefield. You're joking!

Yeah, we're your next door neighbour, really.

Next door neighbours? Oh, you followed me here, have you?

So, how are you enjoying Greece? It's absolutely fantastic.

The people are so friendly. Yeah, it's lovely, isn't it?

Yes, it is, yes. Sorry, what's your name?

Anne. Anne and...? John. John, I'm Jane.

Well, have a lovely day, both of you.

Thank you very much. Nice to meet you. See you later!

Bye, bye! Bye, love!

Aw! A lot of people from Wakefield.

See? You can travel all over the world

and you still bump into people who live next door to you.

Isn't that nice?

Enough chat. Let's explore.

Yesterday, I did the full tourist bit.

So today, I'm going to find the secret side of Santorini.

Come on!

There are loads of traditional villages and vineyards to explore.

But once you leave the main tourist areas, life can get a bit...tricky.

The problem is that nobody usually speaks English,

so I've got my little phrase book.

But "yes" means "nai".

So...nai. And "no" means "ochi".

So that's a bit reversed, so you've just got your brain...

You've got to get your brain round that no means ochi

and yes means nai.

I'll need "Good morning".

Kalimera!

Erm...

So, yeah, I'm just going to carry on learning this now. Please, nai...

I'm as ready as I'll ever be -

and Katina's Taverna looks like the ideal place to practise me lingo!

Kalimera, Katina! Kalimera!

How are you? KATINA SPEAKS GREEK

Er, just one minute. Er, let me see...

THEY CONVERSE IN GREEK

Ochi? No?

Den mila ellinika.

That means "I don't speak Greek." She don't speak English.

This could be fun!

OK, so the conversation hasn't exactly got off to a flyer,

but at least the fish looks good!

KATINA SPEAKS GREEK Er...yeah.

I've no idea what she's saying -

but, as the Greeks are very friendly people,

I'll assume it's something nice.

This is how Katina gets her fish, straight off the boat.

Look at this!

They're a hospitable bunch and like to share everything,

including workload.

Ooh, this is heavy!

OK.

Ooh!

Now, in case you're wondering, yes, that is an octopus.

It's a traditional Greek delicacy -

and seeing as this one was on a boat two minutes ago,

they don't come any fresher than this.

Me? Yeah?

OK.

I've never tried it, but apparently most of the meat

is in the tentacles, so...here goes.

THEY LAUGH

I have no idea. It's all Greek to me, this. Bravo!

Bravo!

All it needs is ten minutes on the barbie.

Let's see if I've got the makings of a Greek domestic goddess.

I'm looking forward to this.

And now, eat? Nai. OK.

My first octopus ever.

OK.

Mm!

Oh, that is delicious!

Delicious... How do I say delicious? Nostimo!

Nostimo? Nostimo! Nostimo.

Have to remember that one.

That is really good!

Katina... JANE SPEAKS GREEK

KATINA RESPONDS IN GREEK, LAUGHS

You have made my... Come here, you!

Hang on. Thank you!

Thank you. You're adorable. Efcharisto. Efcharisto.

Well, what a fabulous end to my two days in Santorini,

but now it's time to say "See you later" -

or "yassas", according to me phrase book.

With another 13 hours' sailing to get to Crete,

you could lock yourself away in your cabin...

..but then you'd miss all the entertainment

that's laid on for you!

So, I'm going to try and learn how to Greek dance today.

It's a day at sea, so there's always something going on,

so check your planner.

So, I'm going to see if I can make some new friends! Come on!

Today, we are learning the national dance of Greece.

One, two, three, four,

five, six, seven, eight, nine,

10, 11, 12.

CHEERING

I can't work out me left and me right. What is the matter with me?

It was a late night.

One, two, three, four,

five, six, seven, eight, nine... JANE LAUGHS

..10, 11, 12.

One, two, three, four,

five, six, seven, eight, nine,

10, 11, 12...

This is a great way to lose your inhibitions and make a few pals.

..11, 12...

I'm dancing!

Yay!

I made two good friends there. We can't even speak to each other.

But it doesn't matter cos we were dancing -

and that's what it's all about, joining in and having a good time!

Oh, time for a drink.

And there are four bars on board to choose from.

Most drinks are included on this cruise, which is handy

if you like a tipple as much as me and me old mate, Sue.

She does my hair and make-up, by the way, in case you're wondering.

Every ship has a way of paying for drinks.

Some are all-inclusive,

some, you pay for everything at the end,

which can be a bit of a shock

if you don't sort out a drinks package before you get on.

Cruise lines usually offer a variety of these packages which get

loaded onto your room card, covering all your drinks for a fixed price.

So, be honest...

You know, if we go to dinner, we usually have a bottle of wine.

It's her fault, not mine. Jane, I don't think so.

I think you're right.

But we like a drink. You're on your holidays,

you're there to enjoy it,

so make sure your budget is sorted out with this

before you get on board.

Shall we? Do you want a brandy in that? I've already got one!

SUE LAUGHS See what I mean?

After a nightcap - or two - I reckon it's time for me bed.

Tomorrow, I'm going to visit the largest island in Greece,

which is Crete.

It says here that Zeus, which was the head god, was born in Crete.

Not only that, so was Nana Mouskouri,

and one of them was in the Eurovision Song Contest.

I'll let you guess which one.

Well, hello, Heraklion!

That's the capital of Crete, you know.

I've signed up for a tour round an ancient Greek palace -

that's included in the cruise.

Looks like everyone else has had the same idea.

So, I've passed about 12 buses,

and everything is in different languages,

which is really good cos you don't want to get on the Spanish-speaking

or the French-speaking if you're English.

So I'm just about to get on the English-speaking one.

It says "English Individuals", and that's me.

I'm off to Knossos palace - and I know it's Knossos.

I k-new all along that it had a K.

See you there! Bye!

Well, it's certainly a place to k-nock your socks off.

According to our bus guide, it was built by an ancient civilisation

called the Minoans to honour their king, Minos.

That was back in the Bronze Age.

But it's had a few run-ins with earthquakes and invasions since.

Gosh, look at that!

4,500 years old.

I mean, it's amazing!

But the Greeks are very, very proud of their history, of their heritage

and their legends.

And they keep that very much alive.

I love this.

Wow!

The great thing about trips like this is that you get

a very knowledgeable tour guide who's full of facts, such as...

This is the very first drainage system.

The first freshwater was plumbed 4,000 years ago.

Not only that, the Minoan queen was the first-ever person

in civilisation to have a flush toilet.

The throne was invented here.

It's hard to believe I'm talking to you like this, isn't it?

But I've been listening!

The palace ruins were excavated and lovingly restored

about 100 years ago by British archaeologist Sir Arthur Evans.

Thanks to this guy, all these people -

including me and you watching - can see this amazing history of Crete.

One thing you can't miss is the number of clay urns and vases.

They're everywhere!

These jugs are just amazing.

And the reason why they're still preserved today

is because of a certain element in the clay used here.

I mean, these are fashionable today, aren't there?

You could have these in the garden.

I've got a couple in my garden that are reconstructions

and I really like them.

The more I've learned about Greece and the Greek islands,

the more I've actually fallen in love with it

and understood all about it.

What's great is that there are people working

to keep the island's history and traditions alive.

This pottery shop in Margarites Village still uses

the same ancient techniques and that special local clay.

Hello! Welcome! Yorgos? Yes.

So, you...you actually do traditional?

We try to do using local clay and making pots like before.

I mean, pots for use without glaze. Without glaze?

Without glaze. Just one firing - like the ancient pottery, you see?

Ah! So all of these pots made with the same clay.

You see that is waterproof? Yeah.

Water... Oh, wow! ..doesn't come out.

They were clever people, these ancient Greeks!

This is clever as well. Yeah? The Cup of Justice.

They used it in ancient times for wine, to measure the wine.

You see, it's not a normal cup. It has a hole on the bottom

and something inside. But why Cup of Justice?

If someone a bit greedy wants to fill his cup

and drinks more from the others, look what happens.

Then, he lose it all.

They say, "The more you want..." "..the less you get."

We should have these in the United Kingdom

for people who drink too much.

In fact, I might actually buy one of those for me.

Let me show you... I will, yeah. ..how it looks like before...

OK. ..how is the raw material. Let me show you. OK.

I don't touch anything, Yorgos... It's OK. ..cos I'll just break it!

Please, come closer to show you. Right.

Have to... Wet it? ..put a little bit of water. OK.

OK.

My father was a potter. Yeah? You used to watch him?

And I studied for three years in Athens.

Wow! Look at that!

It's... I was going to say putty in his hands. It's exactly that.

He just caresses, teases and...

It just opens up. And it's wonderful to watch.

I can actually see now where the scene came from in Ghost

because it is quite...

And now it must dry until tomorrow.

Look at it! It's amazing. You did that, like, in no time.

Have you ever tried? No. No. Should I? What do you think?

Shall I have a go?

Well, everyone should have their own Patrick Swayze moment

at some time in the life.

Ooh! Right. So, I sit down here... Sit as close as possible...

OK. ..and now, you have to put your hands on the desk with water.

From the centre, you press down.

OK. So... JANE GIGGLES

So, keep your hands together to be more stable. OK.

So...press.

I've got very long nails. Slowly, slowly.

Try not to use your nails.

I'm trying not to use my nails, but they're just there.

So, as you've guessed by now, my father wasn't a potter.

And I've studied this for about three minutes

rather than three years.

JANE LAUGHS Slowly, slowly!

Oh, no, no, no! No, no, no! What do I do?

I want to save me pot!

It's dancing? I've got a dancing pot?

Flower dancing pot. It's not the best thing I've ever done, is it?

It's... It's a waste of clay.

Cos that is just not good, is it?

You see, that's what I would have done.

THEY LAUGH

I've got really long nails,

and that's why I can't be a very good potter. Yeah.

I've had a brilliant time. I wonder if there's a manicurist around here!

Coming up, I get soaked in Samos...

SHE LAUGHS

I didn't realise I was going to get so wet!

..before doing my best Bond Girl impression.

They wanted Ursula Andress!

It's more like Hylda Baker.

I'm nearing the end of my Aegean adventure.

And on Day 7, you get a choice -

either sail on to Kusadasi in Turkey -

which is famous for its shopping -

or do what I've decided to do and spend the day on the Greek island

of Samos.

I've signed up for a guided four-by-four tour with Yorgos -

popular name over here, that!

Welcome to Samos! Welcome to my home. Oh!

You are lucky! In front of us,

we have a couple of nice places for swim.

How green is this place? Very green, because we have two big mountains

in Samos, Kerkis and Ampelos.

And during the winter, we have a lot of rains. Ah!

The smell -

because you can smell the trees and the pines and everything.

It's just gorgeous!

That is my personal paradise.

Aw! George, you're talking my language!

Can you show me a bit more?

Let's see... Thank you. ..the next part of Samos! OK!

I think Samos might be my new personal paradise as well now.

Oh, it's gorgeous!

How do you say beautiful, gorgeous?

Orea. Orea? Ah!

Poli orea! Poli? Poli orea?

Poli orea!

Ah!

Help? What's the one? JANE LAUGHS

YORGOS SPEAKS GREEK

Kalimera! Kalimera!

Aw, that's nice.

Good job this isn't Wakefield. You can imagine the road rage!

Everybody is very friendly here.

In every island in Greece, the people here are very kind.

Very kindly, very kind. You married yet?

Not yet... Not yet? Uh-huh?

I'm very close to that. Ah!

I need only one thing. What's that?

A wife. A wife!

Yeah, it does help. It does help.

JANE LAUGHS

Aw! Yorgos was lovely, and the views are just fabulous.

The beach he's dropped me off ain't bad either.

But like a lot of them on Samos, this one is shingly.

It's not the easiest walk I've ever done. It's full of pebbles!

They wanted Ursula Andress!

It's more like Hylda Baker.

Ooh! Ow, ow, ow!

Ah, this is the life, isn't it?

Me first bit of beach in the Greek islands,

and I'm here at last.

Strawberry daiquiri, sunshine, sea.

This is paradise, it's fantastic.

They do a lot of watersports here.

Water, usually not for me.

Sports, usually not for me.

Watersports, definitely not for me.

But, as they say, when in Greece,

have a go.

Shall we have a go?

Come on, you know you want to see me go on a jetski.

Oh, gosh, what am I doing?

Well, I mastered the Segway, so should be able to straddle this.

After a quick safety briefing from instructor Emmanuel, I'm off.

Like a duck to water.

This is what destination cruising is all about,

trying out new experiences.

Just remember to mind out for any big waves.

Oh, my goodness me!

Come in, number seven, your time's up!

I didn't realise I was going to get so wet!

But that was...quite exhilarating.

There you go, Jane. What a man!

It'll be easier for you to walk back out.

Thank you so much. You're welcome.

Lovely to meet you. And you too, love. Thank you.

Nice fella.

A man who brings your shoes, you can't fault that.

Well, my magical week island hopping around Greece has come to an end.

It's definitely one of the busiest cruises I've been on

and I've loved every minute.

I cannot tell you how wonderful this holiday has been.

I've not spent much time on the cruise, to be honest,

I've explored every single bit I could of the Greek islands,

which is exactly what I wanted to do.

I've only gone back on the ship to sleep and eat.

But now, finally, I'm going to get my Shirley Valentine moment.

I'm going to have a glass of wine on the beach,

just like Shirley Valentine did.

And, Ed, I know you're expecting me home tomorrow, but you know what,

it's very tempting to stay here.

But don't worry, I'm coming home.

Cheers!

MUSIC: Mamma Mia by ABBA

# I've been cheated by you since I don't know when

# So I made up my mind, it must come to an end

# Look at me now, will I ever learn?

# I don't know how, but I suddenly lose control

# There's a fire within my soul

# Just one look and I can hear a bell ring

# One more look and I forget everything, whoa

# Mamma mia, here I go again

# My, my, how can I resist you?

# Mamma mia, does it show again?

# My, my, just how much I've missed you

# Yes, I've been brokenhearted

# Blue since the day we parted

# Why, why did I ever let you go?

# Mamma mia, here I go again

# My, my, I could not resist you

# Mamma mia, does it show again?

# My, my, just how much I've missed you

# Yes, I've been brokenhearted

# Blue since the day we parted

# Why, why did I ever let you go?

# Momma Mia, now I really know

# My, my, I could never let you go. #

The wonderful thing about Greece is, everywhere you look,

there's an old relic.

Oh, hiya, Sue.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media