All language subtitles for Ch5 Cruising India with Jane McDonald 1080p.eng

I'm Jane McDonald
and cruising's in my blood.

I've spent almost 20 years at sea.

I used to be a singer
on a cruise ship.

Nowadays, I'm a passenger.

From oceans to rivers,
I'm a bit of a cruising connoisseur.

And I want to share everything
I've learned with you.

Together, we'll discover the most
exciting places on the planet.

It's a big one.

Some you'll have hurdle of...

SHE GASPS
It's absolutely beautiful.

..and some you won't.

This is just what dreams
are made of.

So join me for
the adventure of a lifetime.

You'd perhaps never think "cruise"
when you think "India",

but I'm going to find out
why you should give it a go.

Visiting here's been on
my bucket list for years.

It's full of history, mystery
and indescribable beauty.

This cruise is unlike
any I've done before.

So open your mind.

I'm up for it, if you are!

I'm taking a spiritual journey
along India's most sacred river

to really live the stunning
and unique country,

as I go up the Ganges
and down ginnels...

We're going up a back alley.

..to explore the real India.

This is a journey beyond belief.

It's enchanting and it's just
a beautiful thing to see.

I'm flying a kite!

Look far it is!

Into the skies of Jaipur -

or at least trying to.

GROANS AND LAUGHTER

No problem!

I've lost me kite!

Another Indian tradition
leaves its mark.

I'm going to take a picture of that
and remember that forever

as one of the amazing things
that happened on my trip to India.

I'm fulfilling a lifelong dream
by visiting one

of the world's man-made wonders.

VOICE BREAKS:
I didn't think a building could

make your heart feel like this.

It's the crack of dawn on
me first day in India,

and I'm excited
and I'm raring to go.

Overnight I've flown the 5,000 miles
to its most easterly state.

It's nearly a 14-hour flight,
but I don't mind.

Gives me plenty of time to sleep and
save me energy for the day ahead.

My ship, the Uniworld Ganges Voyager
II, a classic-style river ship,

is moored on the Ganges River,

but I have a couple of hours
before I board.

This trip is going to be a learning
experience for you and for me,

and I've found the perfect place
to start.

It's Kolkata.

Now, I know what you're thinking -
it's Calcutta.

Well, it's not -
they've changed it to Kolkata.

And it's there.

It's colourful, it's chaotic.

and it's the capital of West Bengal.

Home to over 97 million people.

Five million of them
live within Kolkata itself.

Most of them with their hands
on their horns...

HORNS BLARE
..permanently.

I've got time to squeeze
in two must-dos,

according to the travel guide.

This is the Mullik Ghat
Flower Market,

it's one of the biggest
and the busiest in India.

There's over 2,000 sellers
work here.

It's flippin' crazy 'ere!

It's just so busy!

And full of newspaper,
which I don't understand.

It turns out the newspapers
are used for packing the flowers.

And the busiest and
most hectic markets at home

don't compare to this.

The sights and sounds
are overwhelming.

And it's so easy
to get lost in it all,

I got myself a guide.

Vic. Hi. Nice to see you. Same here.

As part of the package,

the ship's supplied me with Vic,
but you can book your own online

for about 20 quid -
and it's worth every penny.

So, what's the significance
of all the different colours?

Yeah.

So yellow means holy, yeah?
Holiness.

What's orange?

In India, orange garlands
are used both

for celebrations and for welcomes.

So every colour and every flower
has a meaning? Has a meaning.

And the garlands,
there's so many garlands.

Oh, this is wedding garlands?

So flowers are hugely important
to India, aren't they?

This market is
more than 120 years old.

And however much India has advanced
in that time,

you get the sense that things here
haven't changed that much at all.

In fact, age-old traditions
are everywhere,

including in the shadow of the
city's most famous landmark,

the Howrah Bridge.

Here, just a few minutes' walk
from the market, you'll find a mix

of spirituality, skill, brute
strength and very tight pants.

ALL: Good morning, ma'am!
Hello!

How are you? Namaste.
Namaste, ma'am! Namaste.

So this is kushti wrestling?

Really?
So it's fighting with bare hands?

This is a skill?

Spirituality?

Wow.

An Indian gym?

Do you have to have a special diet?

No meat?

But yet...

But you're strong.

Shall we go and have a look?
Yes, why not? Come inside.

OK. You come this side.

I can stand here?
..but you cannot come inside.

OK, I can stand here. Yes.

Right.

This gym, or akhara, is one of
the last remaining in the city.

It's run by a guru - a holy man
who doubles as a trainer.

Kushti wrestlers start learning
as young as six

and continue throughout
their adult lives.

I'd love to have their discipline

and to know more about those pants.

Uh-huh.

Oh, yeah?

I see.

Uh-huh.

So it's the mud of the Ganges? Yes.

Yeah?

So throw him over your shoulder?
Yes, yes.

So you have to pin him down?
Yeah. OK.

On the shoulders? Yeah. OK.

Does it hurt?

Are you sure?

Yeah...

Well, this has been a memorable way
to kick-start me morning.

But after three knockouts
and a submission,

it's time to leave the ring.

Thank you for showing us
and sharing with us.

Thank you very much. Thank you.

Bye. Bye. And Hare Krishna, ma'am.
Hare Krishna.

Kolkata's got everything
you've read about India -

the bustle, the energy
and, yes, the poverty.

In just a couple of hours, I've come
face-to-face with it all.

This place is a culture shock.

Every sense you've got.
it will attack -

your eyes, your ears, your nose.

But then you see such complete
utter colour and beauty.

It is an absolutely fascinating
place, is India.

And I'm told it's just as
fascinating to view by boat.

So a 30-minute coach ride later,

I'm at the dockside.

And there she is,
my home for the next seven days.

I'm glad I'm here cos, you know,
you have a long journey,

you've packed everything for days,

you're hoping you've got everything,

and all you want to do is get
into your room and unpack

and get it all there so you can see
what you've got.

This is the Ganges Voyager II.

Are just three decks high,

there's not much chance of
losing your way when on board.

But if you like to get to know
your fellow travellers better,

this one's perfect,
as there's room for just 56 of us.

Thank you.

Hi.

Oh, look!

Look at that.

SHE GIGGLES

Namaste! Hello!

Ooh! Welcome on board, madam.
Thank you.

Welcome. Yeah... This way.

I've got me bit on now.

It's called a tilaka, a traditional
way to honour guests here.

And with the garlands
I remember from the flower market,

this is a true Indian welcome.

Thank you. Hello. Namaste

Hello. Welcome on board.
What's your name?

McDonald, Jane.

You are boarding upstairs. 304.

Thank you. Hello.

Ooh, it's got a sort of
traditional look, hasn't it?

It's all olde worlde.

I feel like I should have a
crinoline on.

SHE EXHALES

Love a stair!

Right, that'll keep my thighs
in check all week.

This is me, is it?

Ooh!

Oh...

Oh, I say!

You can't believe this is on
a river cruise, can you, really?

I mean, this is...
pretty spectacular.

So I'm just going to go...woohoo!

I love this bit.

I love - I LOVE - me bed.

I just really like beds.

It's got a feel, this, of,
like, the Orient Express.

It's like...Agatha Christie type,

you know, Poirot.

There's five types of cabins
available on this ship

ranging from standard,
to suites like mine.

Ooh, look at this!

Everything's very colonial.

All these lovely touches

that you get to make
you feel like you're in India.

I'm going to definitely
get centred on this cruise.

And I feel as if
this'll be a spiritual journey.

I like this feel cos, although
it's very olde worlde,

there's lots of modern things

..like a telly...kettle.

And that is very unusual

cos cruises don't usually
have kettles in rooms.

That is very exciting for me.

Right, what lies in store for
the next seven days?

We'll be steaming north up
the Ganges,

sacred river to the
world's one billion Hindus.

First stop is Kalna.

From there to Matiari.

Calling in at Murshidabad.

Then on to Mayapur.

Finally, stopping at Chandannagar,

before heading back to Kolkata.

But it doesn't end there.

I'll be breaking up the trip home
with a stop at Jaipur, the Pink City

and another Agra, home of a little
place called the Taj Mahal.

I'm sure I've heard of it
somewhere...

I have finally shaken off me coat,
dropped me bag,

left me cases in the room,

got me first glass of champagne
for the sail away,

and finally I'm being taken up
the Ganges

and I'm on me holidays.

Cheers! Yay!

One of the great things
about a river cruise

is that you get to see everything
and everyone close up.

# Goodbye, goodbye... #

SHE LAUGHS
Yay.

Aw, he's having a bath and
everything.

Who needs an en-suite
when you've got the Ganges?

Just get some soap on you
and jump in! Hey!

Ahhh! Here we go. No seat belts.

A rickshaw trip that doesn't
go quite to plan.

I'm too heavy for him!

And an Indian meal
with a difference.

TRADITIONAL SINGING

I've just started
my Indian inland cruise.

Overnight, We've left the crowds and
mayhem of Kolkata behind

and we've travelled 65 miles up
the Ganges,

arriving in Kalna.

Today's trip isn't
your conventional excursion.

It's remote and off
the normal tourist trail.

Morning. Thank you.

The dock's a bit rickety, but we'll
put that down to local charm.

Nice to see you.

Ooh, 'ey up!

Luckily, they're happy to give
a woman of a certain age

a helping hand.

Thank you. Oh, look at this.
You get... You get hoiked up.

Good morning.
SHE LAUGHS

Good to see you.

The ship's laid on a tour of Kalna,

and me and me new cruise friends
are getting there by pedal power.

Come. This is a rickshaw for you.

Oh, I'm ready for this.

Hello. I'm so sorry. I should've
not had that pudding last night.

He's going to have to pedal hard!

THEY LAUGH

But this is...this is
the brake for you.

Oh, I see. Just in case.
Just in case. Back-seat driver.

It's my first time on
an Indian rickshaw,

and I'm told it's one of
the best ways to see the sights.

Ahhh! Here we go.

No seat belts.

RICKSHAW CLATTERS

OK, I'll come clean -
it were two pudding's last night.

Oh, dear!

I'm too heavy for him!

He's having to pull me up a hill!

Anyone know CPR?

Oh...

That's it.

The town is just waking up here,

it's still quite early
in the morning.

People are still rubbing the sleep
out of their eyes

and it's quite crisp
in temperature.

Everybody's still got their scarves
and their gloves on

cos it's quite cold.

I'm here in January, by the way,
which is the coldest month,

along with December.

Come at either of those times

and you'll need to pack
a jumper or a coat.

But, for the rest of the year,
it's positively sweltering.

This is a real adventure.

This is something I would never
have done in my whole life

if I hadn't have come on
this cruise.

Cows are sacred here, so don't
be alarmed if you bump into

a couple on the street.

I'm experiencing India
in every shape and form.

With me rickshaw hiccup, the rest
of the group are ahead of me,

but I'm finally here.

Here we are.

First stop, one of the religious
sites.

Kalan's nicknamed Temple City.

We're visiting
the number-one must-see,

along with its stunning gardens,
according to the travel guides.

Hello.

So I put these on.

Whenever you enter a Hindu temple,

you have to remove your shoes
as they're seen as impure.

I'm a bit late.
They're all over there.

Ooh, look at these, though!

They're all very good, aren't they?

I feel like I'm late for class.

It's really like being at school.

I need to get this out as well.

This is where your guide
talks to you

and then you can wander off
a little bit

and have a look
and still hear what he's saying.

Wow.

This is so different to everything
I've ever seen.

And there is something
quite mysterious about it,

respectful about it.

And it's beautiful.

What is that called?

Right. And that sorts
your digestive system?

Yeah? We all need it. Yes.
Oh, we do.

Shiva is one of the three main gods
in Hinduism.

Followers turn to him to help drive
out negative energy

on certain days and certain times.

Come. Now we move that side.

He talks a lot of sense.

You know, just saying if things are
going wrong, just stop.

Yeah.

Can we...?
We keep doing it, don't we?

Yeah, keep expecting
something different happens. I know.

Whereabouts are you from? Stoke.

Oh... Yeah.

I thought I knew that accent.

'Ey up, duck... 'Ey up, duck, yeah.

But this is, like, incredible,
isn't it? It is.

It's still all here. It's just very
peaceful inside. Yeah.

Faith is very, very strong in India.

When you look at how everything
is so pristine,

where everybody is religious,
or prays and worships,

and then you see how they live.

I find that mind-blowing.

That this is
unbelievably beautiful...

..and then you go outside to the
real world and it's...

..it's quite different.

Following that little
spiritual interlude,

there's a chance for passengers
to walk back to the ship

through the market.

And that's where I'm meeting
the ship's head chef Zaveid.

Hiya, chef. Hi, hello.
How you doing?

I'm excellent. You're shopping?

Well, there's around 140 varieties
of them living in the Ganges,

so finding some shouldn't be hard.

So this has just been caught,
has it?

Very fresh.

Yeah... Oh!

THEY LAUGH

It's alive!

HE SINGS

JANE LAUGHS

Fantastic!

They've got every single type of
fish here that you could ever want.

And I wish you could smell it
in here because, looking at it,

you're probably thinking,
"Oh, my God..."

It smells fresh, it smells sweet...

..and it smells like
you want to eat this product.

But there's more than fish
on sale here.

Look at that radish!

We get little things
like that in England.

It's amazing just
how much fresh veg there is.

And don't get me started
on all the fresh spices!

They put my little jars
back home to shame.

And there's loads
I don't even recognise.

That's turmeric? Yeah.

I see.

And this is really good for you,
isn't it?

Skin? OK.

Hey long do they last, chef?

I must sort my cupboard out
when I get home.

It's been in for years!

And here... Chillies!

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. You like it very spicy
in Bengal. All this is very spicy.

Can I make it milder?

Yeah.

Sugar? In our Bengali cuisine.
Really?

So it's sweet and sour?

You see, and I was thinking it
was yoghurt all along.

No wonder mine went in the bin!

Ugh!

Right, that's great.
I'm learning so much today, chef.

Time and tide wait for no woman,

and after spending what felt
like only minutes in the market,

it's anchors aweigh
and we are back cruising.

While the ship meanders up
the Ganges,

we're all being treated to
a front-row seat to rural India.

It's lovely, innit? It's gorgeous.
Aw...

Including me new friend Peter.

That seemed like proper India.
It did, didn't it?

Yes, all the fish.
Did you see the fish?

I did, I went into the market.
The fish all alive!

SHE LAUGHS

Are you enjoying it?
Mm. It's wonderful. Yeah.

It's a real different experience,
isn't it?

Well, India...I just love India.

Do you? Have you been before?

Yes. Ah...

So what is it about India?

People are so nice, so happy.

They're not cross.
Europeans are cross.

They're all racing up and down
in their rickshaws

and everyone's beeping like mad,
but no-one's cross about it.

No, that's true.
They do it with a smile. Yeah.

I know what you mean,
I know what you mean.

It's very calm here, isn't it?

Oh, I'm beginning to feel India now.

It was a culture shock.

It really was a culture shock.

But now I'm finally..."ah".

You sort of get it, don't you,
after a while?

Yeah, don't worry about the fact
some of it's actually quite dirty

and quite grubby, and that's the way
it is, really.

And it seems to work, doesn't it?

Everyone's so friendly
on this cruise,

and we're all busily bonding
over the evening's entertainment.

TRADITIONAL MUSIC PLAYS

Tonight, the ship is laid
on something right up my street -

a night of Bengali traditional folk
music known as baul.

Now, I actually know
a little bit about this.

They play a range of unique Indian
instruments, with the lead playing

a one-string drum called a khamak.

It's been around for centuries.

These guys are musicians, poets,
composers, dancers and actors

all rolled into one.

Now that's multi-tasking!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

GONG SOUNDS

There's only one restaurant
on board.

Breakfast and lunch are buffet style
and dinner is a la carte.

Ooh, it smells good.

Good evening, madam. Good evening.

Oh, yes...

I'm always the first to dinner.

It's as if I don't eat all day.

But I like... I just like to
get myself settled.

Thank you.

And peruse the menu.

It's a mix of Bengali
and Western dishes.

There's local curries, Italian
pasta and British favourites -

but, hey, you're in India,
so why not be adventurous?

"Red onion soup." That sounds nice.

Coming up next,
a bit of monkey business

in these palace gardens...

Oh, my God.
There's going to be a fight. Oh!

Oh, my God.

..and I'm welcomed
into a family home.

You won't believe
what goes on inside.

Oh, hello. Nice to meet you.

Namaste. Namaste. Namaste.

It's day four of my
cruise through India.

With over 400 million people
living around its basin,

the Ganges is central
to the way of life.

The river is so significant,

it's an honour to have
your ashes scattered here,

and to top that,
it's even worshipped.

There's nowhere else
in the world like it,

which makes this journey
truly special.

We've left Kalna behind,

and are now travelling
57 miles further north

past the small,
sleepy village of Matiari.

So, seeing as we've got
a bit of time,

I think I'll go on a little
onboard tour. Want to come?

Now, I've noticed, on this ship...

..that everybody just leaves
their doors open.

And these are all the shoes -

if you see, everybody's shoes
outside the doors -

because every time
we come back on the ship,

they actually clean our shoes
for us, which is nice, isn't it?

So, the one thing I am noticing
is these little boxes everywhere,

and they've got all these herbs
just growing everywhere,

so it's just great.

They are all plants
that you find in this region.

It's a nice touch.

And I love the artwork on here.

All the stencilling
you see everywhere

is hand-painted by local craftsmen.
How good is that?

Go down another floor.

This is the restaurant.

Oh, look - there's the chef.
Hello, Chef!

Look at all that lovely food
just waiting to be eaten.

Looks fantastic.
Everybody waits for every meal.

On a river cruise,
you get exclusivity,

so everything is cooked
there and then.

Might as well go up here.

More cabins.

It's a lot easier to find your way
on a river cruise...

..because there's only a few decks.

And I must admit, I am getting the
whole river cruising thing now...

..because it's
a completely different experience

to an ocean cruise,

and I love both.

Is this the spa?

Ooh, so it is. Hello. Hello.
How are you? I'm fine.

Good. What about you?
Very, very well.

So, Laurie, is this where
it all happens? Ooh, it is.

Is it? It's fabulous.
What are you booked in for?

I've just had mine.
SHE GASPS

What have you had?
I booked reflexology. Oh, yeah.

I feel much better. Really?

Nice and relaxed. I think
that's what I'm feeling now.

I'm sort of getting a bit chilled.
Are you? Yeah, definitely.

Oh, there's a gym.
I won't be seeing that.

Ooh, that looks lovely, doesn't it?

Oh, yeah.

Om!
SHE LAUGHS

I'm definitely having something.
I'll be checking you out later.

Is that all right?
Thank you very much.

See you, Laurie. Cocktails later?
Have a nice day. Yes.

Right. Loving your work.

We've now arrived in Murshidabad.

It was formerly the capital
of West Bengal,

and the East India Company,

which first established this country
as part of the British Empire,

once reigned from here.

Today, it's home to 45,000 people,

and noted for its fine silks
and metalwork.

Me and my new friend Peter
and a few of the other guests

are heading off on a tour
of the sights.

Hiya. The 1,000 door palace.
We are on our way.

Our guide is Sabya from the ship.

He's taking us on a walk through
the local and very lively market.

So, this is the market?
This is the high street down here?

Yeah. New restaurants.

CAR HORN BEEPS
Just traffic,

which is confined to...

How many people
are in that car? Yeah.

There's about 12 people in that car!

It's absolutely crazy. Yes.
Mad, noisy. Yeah.

That's what I like to say.
"Organised chaos." Yeah. Yeah?

1,000 doors? Yeah.

Great for hide-and-seek. Yes.

It is.

Oh, McLeod? Yes, so...

Any relation to Kevin? Erm, no.

Really? Yeah.

It's fascinating how many cultures
have left their stamp on India,

and no wonder it has a hold
on so many visitors.

Our next stop is a couple of miles
further north of Murshidabad,

so the ship's staff
have laid on transport.

Ooh, this looks nice. Look at this.

It looks like it's
the South of France or something.

It doesn't look Indian to me.

We're at Kathgola Palace,
a fabulous four-storey home

built in the 19th century
by a rich banking family

and containing priceless artefacts
both inside and out.

Come here alone
and entry will cost you £1,

but our guided tour is included
in the cruise package.

It's very grand, isn't it? Yes.

It is absolutely beautiful, though,
isn't it? Yeah. And who is that of?

Oh, Michelangelo? Yes.

Yeah. I'm loving this. Are you?

Yeah, it's great, isn't it? Yeah.

It's so interesting.
There's so much to learn, though.

The sprawling gardens here
are stuffed with exotic plants.

Apparently, the original owner
was also obsessed with roses,

and cultivated
108 different varieties of them.

That's because, in India,
108 is considered a cosmic number.

Many even count to that figure while
doing their religious meditation.

And talking of faith...

The Jain religion?
The Jain religion, yeah.

I've got a religion? Yeah.
LAUGHTER

There's actually a religion
called Jain?

Two million people throughout
the world worship Jain? Yes.

Among the five great vows
of Jainism are non-violence,

non-stealing,
non-attachment and truth.

Oh, and chastity.

Can I get back to you on that one?

Anyway, according to
my fellow cruise fan Peter,

the followers of this religion
aren't short of a bob or two.

The most successful people in India
are actually Jains. Really?

A lot of the businessmen
and a lot of the shops.

If you go to a shop, you will
often find they are run by Jains.

And also, you have to wear
a mask over your mouth

so you don't inhale insects. Really?

And you sweep the ground as you walk
so you don't stand on any insects.

So, there's a payback to it,
as well.

There is a payback, but in general,
they're very wealthy and very rich.

Yes. And very successful.
Very successful.

SHE GASPS
The most successful Indians.

THEY LAUGH

I love that!

So far, in India,
we've seen a lot of cows and goats,

but the gardens here echo
to the sound of these little fellas.

Oh, hey up. Monkeys! Oh, my God!

Wow, big tails on them,
aren't there?

Gosh, they're fast.

They're so...
DOG BARKS

Hey up, the dog's after them now.

Oh, my God.
There's going to be a fight. Oh!

SHE LAUGHS
Oh, my God!

I've learned so much about Jainism,

about temples,
about beautiful gardens.

You can have a little mooch around
on your own,

but you won't find out about
all the wonderful things

that I've found out about today,
so please get a guide.

Time for us all to head back
to the boat for lunch.

Taking ship-organised tours,
there's no danger of missing a meal.

And for those with delicate tummies,

it's best to have
all your food on board.

And why wouldn't you?

They lay on a great spread,

with everything from
traditional Indian dishes

to sandwiches and salads.

Most cruises cater for
different dietary needs,

and this one offers a wellness menu
if you're trying to be good.

Lunch over,
it's time to head out again.

This part of India is famous
for its traditional metal craft.

Murshidabad has a whole district
devoted to it.

Can I pick one up?

They're absolutely fabulous,
aren't they?

Bit heavy for carrying home, though.

The ship offers a guided tour
to meet a local family

that makes its living
from the ancient craft.

It's a trip designed
to immerse you in local life.

I like how everything
is just happening in the street.

For generations,
highly skilled pot-makers

have been going about
their business here

as the world around them changed.

Same skills, same tools,
same dedication.

The family I'm meeting
have their workshop

actually inside their house,
which is way off the beaten track.

BANGING
I can hear something banging,

so we might be nearing.

We're going up a back alley.

The air's filled
with the smell of furnaces.

The sound of hammer on metal
echoes through the narrow streets.

It gives this place
a metallic heartbeat.

Oh, hello. Nice to meet you.

Namaste. Namaste. Namaste.

SHE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE

Yeah?

One son, yeah?

One son and one grandson. My mother.

It's your mother? Yes. Aw!
And grandson. And grandson.

It's humbling to be invited
into their home.

The entire family work together,

each playing their part
in this ancient craft.

Bell metal is an alloy
of copper and tin

and used for all types of utensils,

but this family's speciality
is urns.

Mine, too, as it turns out.

So, they put that bit
on top of there,

and then this bit is the base.

It's all about the base.

So, you do that,
and then this bit goes round it.

And that, ladies and gentlemen,
is how you make an urn.

It takes years
to perfect this skill,

so it's worth a trip
to watch these artisans at work.

For generations,
this place has made these.

These urns are traditionally used
to store water and grain.

Nowadays, they're also sold to
tourists for around a tenner each.

I absolutely respect
everything you do here.

It's a skill that is very,
very difficult, by the look of it.

Thank you for letting me
see you today and meet you and...

Thank you.

Coming up next, another
Indian tradition leaves its mark...

I can't ask too many questions
cos there's an artist at work here.

..and I say goodnight to the
river of light.

It's enchanting and it's uplifting.

And it's just a beautiful
thing to see.

Woo!

Another magical day on the Ganges,

and after reaching the most
northerly point in our river voyage,

we're now travelling back south.

We've left Murshidabad behind
and are heading to Mayapur,

known to some as
the spiritual capital of the world.

There are long stretches
of cruising on this trip,

so there's plenty of time to relax,
read a book

or just take in
the incredible scenery.

Beats watching the telly for me.

But if you ever get restless
doing nothing,

there's always
the onboard activities.

I'm just...

I'm going upstairs to see
what's going on there because,

about 20 years ago,
when I was in my teens -

believe it - people like Madonna and
Demi Moore got these henna tattoos.

It was really, really fashionable.

And apparently,
the people who follow Jain -

the Jainisms -
they get them done, as well,

so I thought, "When in India."

Let's go and have one done.

Right, I can hear
squeals of delight.

Here we go. Oh!

Oh!

What are you going to have done?
I'm not sure. You're not sure?

But I think it's going to go
under my foot and on my leg.

Wow. So, maybe I'll get a toe ring.

Yes, look at you. You're just
relaxing... Yeah, you're just...

You just take it easy.
You're the queen. You're the queen.

Ooh, I'm a bit excited.

This is one of my favourite ladies
on the ship

because she always looks
a million dollars.

SHE GASPS
Look at that!

That looks fabulous. I know.
I need to go somewhere now.

Yeah, I know what you mean.
I know what you mean. Exactly.

We're all going to get dressed up.
So beautiful.

It's beautiful. Yeah, it is.

I did a little research on henna,
and apparently,

the designs are inspired
by the spirit energy of the muse.

Perhaps, more importantly,

getting one of these
temporary tattoos doesn't hurt.

Look at that, though.
It turned out...

It's beautiful, isn't it? I'm going
to go for the... Yeah. For this?

For the fingers and...? Yeah.

Hello, Dinesh. Hello.

How are you? Good, ma'am.
How are you? I'm very well.

So, good luck with my energy.
SHE LAUGHS

I'm sure you have good,
positive energy. I hope so.

You just paint
what you feel, yes? Yes.

Ah.

Do you know what energy
you're getting from me? Yeah.

And what is that?

He didn't tell me.
It's not good energy.

We can't ask too many questions
cos there's an artist at work here.

Henna tattoos date back
as far as ancient Egypt.

The paste is made from the
dried leaves of the henna plant,

and once applied,
the designs last up to three weeks.

That's me done? Yes.
My energy has stopped.

I'm going to take a picture of that
and remember that forever

as one of the amazing things
that happened on my trip to India.

Well, as night falls,
I'm all inked up and ready to go,

but this won't be
any ordinary evening.

We've all been called out
after dinner,

so I've brought my cup of tea,

and there's some surprise
that everybody's putting on for us,

so I'm going to find out what it is.

In the main holy cities
on the Ganges,

candlelight offerings
are almost a daily event.

Tonight, the ship's staff
have arranged their own.

I've been lucky enough to make
some great friends on this trip,

so I'll be sharing it with them.

How sweet does that look? Aw!

It's pretty. It's beautiful.

They've lit and...
WATER DROPS

Ooh!

SHE LAUGHS
What was that?

Something's just dropped off there
and into my tea.

Maybe it's a message from above.

Not surprising,
as we're on India's holiest river.

Wow.

Something so simple
as a little flame in a little cup

floating down the river,
but can be so beautiful.

In the Hindu religion,
the Ganges is worshipped,

and these flames are offerings
to the river goddess Ganga herself.

Seeing lights like this is like
many voices coming together.

It's enchanting and it's uplifting,

and it's just
a beautiful thing to see.

And we all feel very honoured

that these beautiful
lanterns have been...

..lit in our honour tonight.

And I, for one, am feeling
very humbled by it.

It's a beautiful sight
and it's a beautiful night -

a night that I will never forget

because I'm among new friends

and we're all like-minded
and we're all in love with India.

Amen to that. Yay!

# Zephyr in the sky at night

# I wonder

# Do my tears of morning

# Sink beneath the sun

# She's got herself a
universe gone quickly

# For the call of thunder

# Threatens everyone

# And I feel like I just got home

# And I feel

# And I feel like I just got home

# And I feel

# Quicker than a ray of light

# She's flying

# Quicker than a ray of light

# I'm flying. #

It's five days
since I set sail from Kolkata,

and so far, I've been completely
thrilled by India's charm.

It's colourful...

Oh, this is wedding garlands?

..spiritual...

Wow!

This is so different
to everything I've ever seen.

..and eventful.

I'm too heavy for him!

He's not meant to pull me up a hill!

Transporting us through it all
is the Uniworld Ganges Voyager II.

Like most river cruise ships,

she's small, with just 28 cabins.

But there's a choice of suites,

ranging from standard
to ones like mine,

and it's my home
for the next few days.

Here we go. Woo-hoo-hoo!

We're almost 90 miles north of

where we boarded in Kolkata.

We visited Kalna,

Matiari, and Murshidabad,

and now we're
turning back down river

towards the holy city of Mayapur.

What a lovely place.

We're staying here
for a day and a half,

so there's plenty of
time to take advantage of

all the excursions on offer.

We're going to there,

we're going to the big blue dome.

It's free to get in,
so that's always nice.

And it's apparently something that
you must see if you come here, so...

It does look quite spectacular.

SHE SIGHS

It's a good day!

Mayapur is a tourist magnet,

and it's the HQ of a movement
with followers the world over.

Now, I don't know much
about Hare Krishna religion.

All I've seen, really, is these...

..lovely people going down
the high street in orange gowns,

chanting and ringing bells.

But apparently, millions make the
pilgrimage here every single year...

..just to see this,
and worship here.

As there is such a lot to see here,
I strongly recommend a guide.

The ship do offer a group outing,

but for an extra £45,
you can get a private tour.

Thank you. Welcome.

You're here again!
Nice and slowly...

He does every job on
the ship, that guy!

Right...

I presume it's up here.

Thank you, my love.

Cheers.

SHE CHUCKLES

You're so sweet.

Thank you.

Hare Krishna. Hare Krishna.

The thing I know about Hare Krishna
is it changed the Beatles' lives.

And...

..they came to India,
and spent some time here,

and had some time out,

and completely changed
their way of life,

especially George Harrison.

And since the swinging '60s,

this once sleepy town
has boomed in popularity.

And to take me around,
I met up with Guppy.

Is this your first trip?

This is my first trip in India.

Wow.

THEY LAUGH

He's followed
Hare Krishna for nearly 25 years,

and lived in Mayapur for over ten.

Amazing.

Where are we going now?

OK. Yeah.

What do you do with this?

Yeah.

Right.

I'm coming in!

Wow, look at this.

Yeah?

You offer the flowers?

Do you put it on there? Yeah.

And that's your love for...?

OK!

This faith is based
on Hindu scriptures,

adapted by the spiritual
guru commemorated here.

1966?! That's not very long ago!

Yes, just 53 years ago
this religious movement was founded,

and it's since grown rapidly.

Oh, wow, look at that.

Like a mosaic?

Wow.

But nowhere is the movement
more popular than here.

And to prove it,

they're building another
ginormous temple right next door.

So this is going to be magnificent,
isn't it?

Yes. Yes.

Wow.

Really?

And when is it going to be finished?

2022!

SHE GASPS

I feel the excitement already,

of knowing what it's going to be.

I'll come back, don't you worry!

THEY CHUCKLE

There's so much going on here

you couldn't hope to understand it
without having someone to guide you.

We come to an evening service,
which mine assures me is a must-see.

SINGING, CHEERING
AND CLAPPING

Oh, right. OK.

Conch shell.

OK.

They're all here to see
one of the most holy shrines,

the five features of Krishna.

And you can only see
it here in Mayapur.

CONCH SHELL FLUTING

CHEERING AND
INSTRUMENTS JINGLING

Wow!

Everybody's going mad!

Woo!

CHEERING

Wow.

Look at this!

It's quite something
to be in this atmosphere.

And feel it,
you can feel it in here.

The excitement of everybody.

The priest holds the ceremony
in front of statues of Krishna.

He has an oil lamp
burning incense,

and a set of ritual offerings
representing the five elements.

Fire, earth, water, air,

and the aether.

I did promise you some
new holiday experiences, didn't I?!

Millions of people
travel to this village for this.

This is such a massive place
of worship and pilgrimage.

And this is unbelievable to see.

Coming up next, I hit Chandannagar,

just the place to meet
your movie idols.

Orson Welles?!

Yeah! Can't forget that!
That's a great name!

And after Hollywood,
Bollywood.

I learn the moves back on board.

I'm almost a week into my cruise
along India's most sacred river,

the Ganges.

We've left Mayapur,

and are now sailing 65 miles
towards Chandannagar.

It's a few hours
before we arrive, though.

Enough time to join
the other passengers

for a few Indian fashion tips.

Yeah, there is something quite
glamorous about a turban, I think.

But it's an art.

It's all done by folds and tucks,

there's not a pin, a button,

a zip or Velcro in sight.

Oh, isn't that romantic?

Your town's grey,
so you paint it red.

And yellow. And green.

APPLAUSE

You also learn how to do this.

Trust me,
it takes years of practice.

LAUGHTER

You wouldn't get rid
of the turban, though!

Apart from looking great,
they make your life a lot easier.

The turban is used for many things.

Not only is it used for sunstroke,

because it is so long, the fabric,
you can use it in the wells,

so you can put a bucket down,
and get water.

Or you can fold it up,
and use it as a pillow.

So they use it for quite a
few little...different things.

Look good?

Yeah. I think so, don't you?

He looks like a maharaja.

Whoa!

Yeah, it's good!

Right, that's the blokes sorted.

Now here come the girls...

and the saris.

Now, you know me,
I can't resist a glamorous gown.

Is there one for me?
Yes, of course! Yeah?

Pleasantly different from
the changing room mirrors back home,

I must say.

Ooh!
SHE LAUGHS

Thank you, Dinesh.

That's the thing on these ships.

You might be very shy,

and a lot of people are,

and a lot of people
don't like to join in,

but on this occasion
you can't help but,

because you want to look as
beautiful as everybody else does,

you know?

Look at this,
look at these gorgeous colours.

You'd never get this done
on a morning, would you?

You'd never get to work!

Now to finish off the look

with a traditional bindi.

OK.

What does the bindi mean?

All the married ladies wear a bindi.

The widows don't wear a bindi.

Nowadays even the young ones,
they wear something else,

but the traditional maroon,
deep one, red one,

is for the married woman.

So you can tell if someone's single
or married just by the bindi?

Yes, kind of, you can, yes. Yeah!

That's a good sign, isn't it?

Right. I feel very grand,
and they're very, very comfortable.

And to be honest,
if I could wear a sari every day,

and have these lovely gentleman
helping me in, I would!

Because it's
the most comfortable thing ever,

and it all looks good.

So, now we've got
the customary dress,

it's time for the age-old dance.

FILMI MUSIC PLAYING

Bollywood, here I come!

APPLAUSE

There's lots of time
between stops on this cruise,

which gives you a great opportunity
to see rural life in India.

You also start to appreciate
how important the Ganges is

to the people in West Bengal.

Without it, so many farms, villages
and towns just wouldn't survive.

While most of those
towns look similar,

the one we're stopping at today
has characteristics all of its own.

That's according to the brochure
the ship's staff have given me.

Thank you.

It's all right, I've got you.

It says here
that the French obtained permission

to establish a trading post
at Chandannagar

from Ibrahim Khan, who was
the governor of Bengal in 1673,

so it's...
all about the French, here.

HORNS HONK

Oh!

I found something French!

Lamp posts.

Those are very much
French lampposts.

Actually, a lamppost at all in
India is something quite rare!

So the fact that it is French...

..is a tick.

The ship does offer
a group walking tour,

but if you fancy time to yourself,

you can use the cruise leaflets

and take your own petite promenade.

That's French, you know.

This is definitely
a French-built church.

But it's bright yellow,

with green shutters,

and a teensy bit of red,

which, of course,
is the Indian influence.

Christians are the third largest
religious group in India,

after Hindus and Muslims.

The priest here is one of
the country's 27 million Christians.

I'm sure I've heard of him before.

Orson Welles?!
Yeah, you can't forget that!

That's a great name!

Wow!

Yeah! Orson Welles...

Oh, that's brilliant,
isn't it? Yeah!

Turns out Father Welles has a
connection with another famous name.

As a boy,
he knew Mother Teresa of Calcutta,

the Roman Catholic
nun and missionary

famed for her charitable work
with India's street kids,

and made a saint
by the Pope in 2016.

SHE LAUGHS

Wow.

And she came to see you?

What a lovely thing
to happen in your life!

Yes, very, very much.

Yeah!

You can see the closeness, actually.

Yeah. In all the photographs.

You know, she's very fond
of you, isn't she? Yeah.

Thank you so much for sharing
this with me! My pleasure!

What a pleasure, thank you so much.

Thank you very much,
and God bless all of you.

Oh, thank you so much, Father.
God bless you.

A couple of hours in Chandannagar
doesn't really do it justice.

It's a unique city in Bengal,

constantly fought over by the
British and the French in the past,

and now retaining
the features of each,

as well as
its own, independent character.

More than anywhere on this trip,

you can see Eastern
and Western culture side-by-side.

One of the great
pleasures of cruising

is getting to sample
the authentic local cuisine,

but on this ship
you can also learn how to cook it!

So I'm joining chef Zavid
with my new friends Peter and James.

I don't think we picked
the right colour tops

to be doing a curry with,
do you? No!

We've got all these bright orange
and reds,

and we've got white shirts on.

Today, we're making the
most authentic Bengali dish of all,

a fish curry.

Oh!

In supermarkets back home, you'll
find this is called panch phoron,

and it's typical to this region.

So that's mustard oil, yes?

Yes, this is the mustard oil. OK.

Each region in India
has a different way of cooking,

all influenced
by the ingredients grown locally.

So I think that stuff's

from the plant that's growing all
alongside the river bank. Oh, yeah.

That bright yellow plant. Yeah.

Really distinctive smell to it,
though. It has, hasn't it? Yeah.

Oh, wow, yeah.
Yeah, you can feel it!

Ooh! That's good for your nasals!

The curries here in West Bengal
are famed for their fiery flavours.

Mmm!

It smells amazing!

And that's just with
those little ingredients in.

Garlic and the chilli
and the mustard,

and then the tomato and the
onions all together, it's...

Smells amazing.

And nothing's left to waste.

Even the fish head's on the menu.

Yeah, I'm not sure I like
how he keeps looking at me.

Keeps eyeballing me, that lad!
SHE LAUGHS

Oh, look at that!

Wow!

Very good, chef!

APPLAUSE

Excellent!

Can I have a smell?

Oh, it smells amazing!

Is it fiery? That's nice.
It's got a bit of a kick to it.

I mean, I'm starting to sweat a bit,
but it's all right!

Must admit,
I love a good Indian takeaway,

but a curry's even more satisfying

once you've learned about
all the individual ingredients,

and seen them cooked from scratch.

Thank you, chef. Thank you.

Much appreciated.

Here's what's coming up next.

I didn't think that a building

built with such love and such care,
and such precision,

could still, 360 years later,

touch someone like myself.

..and visit the bedroom
of an ancient Indian queen.

If I was the maharani,
I'd want to sleep here.

The Ganges.

1,500 miles of river,
rising in the Himalayas,

and spilling out
into the Bay of Bengal.

On this trip, we've covered
nearly 200 miles of it.

And we're now sailing back towards
our start point, Kolkata.

Once there, I'll say
goodbye to my ship,

and continue my journey on land,

but there's still a bit of time

before we reach
Bengal's biggest city,

giving me the chance to take part
in one more onboard activity.

Welcome to the yoga mat.

Thank you. You know, you're in
India, and we're doing yoga,

and it's very important
when you come to India

that you do a little bit of yoga.
OK. Not too much.

If you're a newcomer to
all this bendy business, like me,

instructors like Anoushka
are on hand to ease you in gently.

So what I'm going to ask you to do

is you're going to just once
fold this towel that you have below

to make it a little bit elevated
for yourself. OK.

And then you're going to sit down.

There we go, good.

Like that? Very good, that's better.

Yeah. That's why I also kept
these blocks around.

LAUGHTER

Can't even sit on a towel! Yeah.

Right.

So let's just relax our bums
and our thighs.

Om shanti, shanti...

Yoga originated in India
around 5,000 years ago.

Might take me
that long to master it!

So, this is called Cat-Cow.

So you're going to
come onto your all fours.

It is relaxing, though, I must say.

And getting all that Indian air
in your lungs as you exercise

feels very appropriate.

So let's lie down on your back.

OK.

Oh, I like this one.

Now, you're going to open the arms
to the side. OK.

Yes, and place the palms
so they face the ground.

Yes, shoulders are
nice and relaxed. Yeah.

And bend your knees
towards your chest.

Good.

You're just going to bring
your knees to the right.

Yes. Turn the head to the left.

Yes.

Inhale to change,
all the way to the other side.

SHE GROANS

Yeah, towards you. Ooh...
There we go.

Good. Blinking hell...

Yes. That's an 'ard one! Yes.

Well, I've still got a way to go

before I can put my legs
behind my head...

I quite like it down here.

..but it's a start!

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Thank you very much indeed.

I'm at one with myself.

Me inner sanctum is jumping for joy.

While I've been busy bending
and twisting,

the ship's carried on sailing

all the way back to our
final stop in Kolkata.

Well, that's it.

That's my voyage done.

It's time to say farewell
to the Voyager II,

but I continue my
experience on land.

Trust me, I've seen sights

and experienced things
I never thought I would,

and now I'm going to
continue the adventure.

So, after such a memorable week,

I'm leaving
the Bengal region behind,

and heading
nearly 1,000 miles north-west.

I'll be visiting two cities,

Jaipur and Agra,

before catching my flight home
from the capital, Delhi.

These days, more and more cruises
are offering a land-based holiday

as part of the package,

perfect in a country
as vast as India,

where so many attractions
are away from rivers and coastline.

Jaipur's the largest city
in Rajasthan,

a state nearly three times
the size of England.

It's noted
for its stunning buildings,

nearly all of which
come in a particular shade.

Including my hotel!

Right, thank you.

Good afternoon. Good afternoon.

Welcome to the Pink City!
Thank you very much.

My name is Abi,
I'm general manager for the hotel.

Thank you, Abi. Thank you for
taking time to come and see us.

Oh, it's lovely,
thank you very much!

I'm staying at the Rajvilas,

built around a 300-year-old temple,

also with a unique royal tent.

Is this all mine?

This is all yours, ma'am. Gosh!

This is not glamping.

And it's not like a caravan, either!

This is so beautiful.

We've got a lot to pack in today,

so there's just enough time
to freshen up

before heading out for an explore.

We're going to the Pink City.

I've no idea why it's pink,

so we're going to go and find out.

The city may be pink,
but me fingers are turning blue.

That's because I'm here in January,

where the temperatures can hit lows
of seven degrees Celsius.

Good job
I brought me Yorkshire woollies!

I have been absolutely perished
since I've got here!

So make sure you check
what time of year you're coming,

because although the sun is out,
it is still very cold, so...

please be aware of the weather.

The cruise company's organised
all of my excursions.

Today's is all about the history
and unusual appearance

of this incredible city.

I think what I've realised
about India is

it is the country of extremes.

You get one extreme,

where there's just complete
and utter poverty,

and then you'll...

In the same view,
you'll see such grandeur

that absolutely blows your mind.

And it is very pink!

SHE LAUGHS

It's definitely pink,
every single building is pink.

And it doesn't get
much more pink or more grand

than the Palace of Winds,

where I'm meeting TK,
my guide for the day.

Hi. Hi, how are you?
How are you, TK?

So, why is it pink?

Ah!

Uh-huh...

Oh, yes. That's the Queen's grandad.
Right. Yeah.

Yes.

Oh, that's nice!

No?

There's only so much of the city
you can see on foot,

so this excursion
includes a Jeep tour.

HORNS HONKING

Ooh, yeah, look at that,
that's lovely.

The Water Palace.

And the reflection on the water
it's beautiful.

HORNS HONKING

Is it your full-time job?

Do you take lots of people
out like this?

Oh, you can't do that!

And you will do it!

Who've you taken around?

Yeah, Harry and William!

HORN HONKING
Yes. Wow!

Aww!

SHE LAUGHS

Yeah, right!

Zenith of the career!

Ooh, look at this!

Oh, wow!

Our next stop is the Amer Fort,

built for the local maharaja,
or regional king, back in the 1500s.

It's a steep walk up the
hill to get to the fort,

so I'd definitely
recommend a Jeep tour,

unless you're feeling
particularly fit.

It's huge, this place!

TK offered me a guided tour
for the whole of this excursion,

but I wanted to soak in
the atmosphere on my own,

and the good thing
about the modern world is

you can still get all the info.

Now, it says here, because
there's free Wi-Fi here, by the way,

so you can "goggle"
as much as you want.

So I'm looking at this thing,

and it says that every corridor
in this palace was made on a zigzag

so that it slowed the enemy
down if it was attacked.

Not only that,
all the doors are made really low

so that, when you walk through it,
they'd just chop their heads off!

Flipping good idea,
that, really, isn't it?

One online site mentions a part
of the fort that's quite magical.

The bedroom of the maharaja's wife,

the maharani.

If I was the maharani,

I'd want to sleep here.

Legend has it
she wanted to lay under the stars,

but as she wasn't allowed
to sleep outside,

the maharaja created a ceiling
with concave pieces of mirror

which reflected the light,

effectively bringing
the stars to her.

This is my dream bedroom!

Because it's
got little mirror balls everywhere!

I love a mirror ball!

Can you imagine
spotlights hitting that?!

I mean, it would be spectacular.

There would just be beams of
light everywhere around here.

I tell you what,

you couldn't half dance yourself
dizzy to that, couldn't you?!

When you think about it,
one day in India,

I've been on a Jeep,

I've been to a palace,

and I've seen
elephants on the street.

That's a great day, isn't it?

And it's not over yet.

There are loads of
festivals in India,

so when you're booking your cruise,

check the calendar and see
what's on while you're there.

I have, and discovered
my trip coincides with

a special day for Hindus.

The cruise fixed a meeting
with another guide, Yogi,

to tell me more.

Thank you!

Oh! So it's coming
out of winter into spring?

Yeah.

In Jaipur, they mark the day
by gathering on the rooftops

to fly kites.

And it's all families?

Right...

Are we going up there?!

Oh, look at it up here!

And all families around,
isn't it, see?

Oh, hello!
Hello, hi, Namaste. Namaste.

She's going to teach how to fly
a kite. I'm Anjana Gamal.

Nice to see you.
Are you going to teach me how to...?

Your kite! OK.

When it comes to festivals,
you can get as involved in you like.

Either sit back and watch it
all happening around you,

or be like me, and dive in.

A knot? Yes, one more knot.
One more.

CHEERING

You're very professional! Yeah?

Yeah,
you're professional kite flyers!

LAUGHTER

Right, are you ready for my...

OK, so are you going to teach me
how to do this?

OK!

Yay! Good, very good!

CHEERING

Up, up, up, up!

SHE CHUCKLES

Look at that!

Oh, it's so exciting
when you get it up there!

I'm flying a kite!

Look at that, look far it is!

Oh, wow!

This is great!

I think I'm just about
getting the hang of this!

GROANING

LAUGHTER

No problem!

I've lost me kite!

It's a really exciting thing to do,

especially with families like this,

it's lovely to see
all the neighbours out.

It's a big celebration

that the winter is finally
coming to an end,

and that the sun is coming back out.

It's fab, in't it? Fantastic!

Seeing hundreds of kites in the sky
at one time

is really quite incredible.

And once the sun sets,
the party really starts,

and kites are replaced by
lanterns drifting across the sky

like shooting stars.
FIREWORKS BOOMING

When you see them all in the air...

it's just really magical.

That's if
we don't set the house on fire!

SHE CHUCKLES

Yeah. Ooh...

Wahey!

CHEERING
Hooray!

What a way to end my day in Jaipur!

This trip hasn't been about
beaches and margaritas,

it's been about moments like this.

Moments you couldn't
recreate anywhere else.

I'll be honest, I'm not sure how
I can even follow it.

But then again...

here's what's coming up next!

I didn't think a building could
make your heart feel like this.

I'm coming to the end
of my trip of a lifetime in India.

After cruising the sacred Ganges,

and having an unforgettable time
in Jaipur,

I'm heading to my next city stop,

Agra.

It's a four hour bus ride
through teeming old streets,

and along smart new highways,

but I'm not worried,
as I've brought me survival kit.

Now, a lot of people comment

that I've always got a bag with me,

and I must admit,

not many travel with a bag this size

like I do, but, in this bag,

I've got my tissues,

I've got hand cream,

I've got earplugs,

I've got my comb in one.

I've a bottle of water in another.

I have my phone chargers,

with every single plug that I need

for all over the world.

Medication.

Always, always, always keep your
medication with you at all times

because if your luggage gets lost,

which sometimes it does,

it's unfortunate,

but if you keep even a few of
what you need until you get it...

So I can survive for maybe...

..four days,

with just what I have in here.

It's huge!

And it weighs as much as my case.

Agra lies in northern India's
Uttar Pradesh state,

and while I'm here,

I'll be staying at the Amervilas.

Hello. Welcome, welcome, ma'am.

Thank you very much.

Welcome. Thank you.

Good afternoon, ma'am,
and welcome to Agra.

Hello, thank you very much.

Oh, the temperature's lovely here.

It doesn't look like it's a hotel,

it looks like it belongs to royalty!

You know, it looks like a palace.

So I'm feeling very regal!

Oh, hello. Hello, ma'am.

Thank you. Welcome to
the Oberoi Amarvilas, ma'am.

Thank you very, very much.

May I, ma'am? Yes! Good afternoon,
welcome to the Oberoi Amarvilas.

Thank you very much. My pleasure.

Mmm!

Ooh, I right need that after
that long coach journey, as well!

There's nothing like a ginger and
peach press to revive the senses.

Mmm! Just look at that!

Wow.

I do love a chandelier.

Not bad, eh?

Just wait till you see the inside!

SHE GASPS
This can't be mine!

Because every time
you get two doors,

it usually means
it's very big inside.

SHE GASPS

SHE LAUGHS

Come into my palace!

Oh, my God!

This is bigger than my house!

SHE WHISPERS: Just look at this...

Just let me dump me stuff.

See, I like to just dump everything,

and then go for a wander.

Blimey!

QUIETLY: Oh, my God, look at that.

I've got a dining room!

Now, I have to confess
the only thing I have on a rider

is hummus and crudites.

That's it.

And they've set it up
like a proper...

..dinner and everything!

What's that? Oh, and pitta bread!

Ooooh!

Pitta bread, look!

I know it's daft me getting excited
about little things like that,

but it's the little things
in life that really make it!

But this isn't
a little thing in life,

this is huge!

This is a massive palace of a room!

I'm a bit...

To be honest,
I'm a bit overwhelmed, because I...

VOICE SHAKES SLIGHTLY: I've never
stayed in anything like this!

God, what's up with me?!
SHE SNIFFS

I've never...

I've never stayed
in anything as beautiful as this.

I've flown all the way to India,

and I'm being treated
like a maharaja.

Or a maharati, or whatever...
What is it? That...

You know, the queen!
Whatever it is!

And it's...

It's quite overwhelming.

I don't even know where to go next!

It's just so big.

You'd get lost in this.

SHE GASPS

Look at the bed...

Look at the bed!

Look!

Oh...

I daren't even get on it
like I normally do.

I daren't even bounce on it!

Because I feel like...
I feel like a dog,

and I'd be saying,
"Get off that sofa!"

SHE GASPS

Excuse the shock,
but that's what happens

when you suddenly see one
of the world most beautiful sights.

There's the Taj Mahal.

Right. Time to get up close
to this spectacular man-made wonder.

The Taj Mahal
is just over half a mile away,

and there's transport here
right up to the gates.

As this trip
is part of the cruise package,

they've once again
arranged for Yogi to be my guide.

So this is the story of love,
I believe.

I think nothing lifts...

..anything like love does.

It does, doesn't it?

Yeah, here we go.

Thank you.

I will.

The Mughal emperor Shah Jahan
built the Taj Mahal

for his favourite wife,
who died giving birth.

Legend says her dying wish was for
the most beautiful tomb ever known.

Four centuries on, it attracts
visitors from the world over.

That's just the gate?!
That's the gate you see over there.

God!

Yeah!

Right behind it, there, see? Wow.

It's 1,300 rupees,

or about £14 to get in,

but there are also security checks,

so be prepared to be searched,

and make sure you have
enough time to wait in line.

You know? Hell yeah!

Is that right?

Going to lift the veil
off the lady, any minute!

You're just seeing
a teeny little bit of flesh.

And it's like...

Come on, get the veil off!

Hold your breath!

I tell you what, this is an
exciting experience, it's quite...

SHE GASPS

Because it is, it's like teasing
and teasing and teasing.

Oh, wow! Look at that, straight
through the gate, and there you are!

It really does
take your breath away.

BIRDS TWITTER SOFTLY

I didn't think a building could...

..make your heart feel like this.

It's, erm...

It is spellbounding.

To think that a building
built with such love,

and such care,

and such precision,

could still, 360 years later,

touch someone like myself,

and make me feel love.

And let's be honest,

that's what we all want to feel.

We all want to feel love.

So where is the actual
best shot to get a picture?

Can you show me?

Beautiful. Yeah, is that good?

I've got me photo!

Oh, it's just...
You've got to get that photo.

This is why
there's so many people here,

because that is the shot
that everybody is after,

including these
two lovely young men here.

Yeah, do you want to get in there?
Go on, get in!

Get in!

SHE CHUCKLES

It is just such
a beautiful, beautiful place to be.

And...it's not just the view,
it's the feel.

Everybody feels it.

And I must admit...

I'm feeling it.

I'm definitely feeling it.

This is a day in my life
that I will never forget.

Ever.

And I won't forget
the other eight days either.

We'll be heading to Delhi,

and then flying back to the UK
once we've wound up this visit,

but I think a piece of my heart
will always remain right here.

You know, when I first got told
we were coming to India,

I don't know what I was expecting.

But I wasn't expecting
this amazing experience,

because you don't just visit India,

you experience it.

You experience the feel of it,

the love here,

the smell.

It hits every sense you have.

I, for one, have felt like
I've been on a spiritual journey,

and I sincerely hope you do, too,

if you come and visit it.

I recommend it fully.

It's something you will never
experience in your whole life,

unless you do it yourself.

Come to India.

It's amazing.

BOLLYWOOD FILMI BEAT

# I got shivers
When you touch my face

# I'll make you hot
Get all you got

# I'll make you want to say

# Jai ho

# Jai ho

# Jai ho...
You are the reason that I breathe

# Jai ho!

# You are the reason
that I still believe

# Jai ho...
You are my destiny

# Jai ho oh oh oh!

# Jai ho

# No, there is nothing
that can stop us

# Jai ho
# Nothing can ever come between us

# Jai ho
So come and dance with me!

# Jai ho...

# Catch me, catch me, catch me

# Come on, catch me, I want you now

# I know you can save me
You can save me

# I need you now!

# I am yours for ever
Yes, forever

# I will follow

# Any way and anywhere

# Never gonna let go!

# Jai ho!

# Jai ho!

# I need you

# Gonna make it
Jai ho!

# I'm ready...

# So take it!

# Jai ho...
You are the reason that I breathe

# Jai ho!

# You are the reason
that I still believe

# Jai ho
You are my destiny

# Jai ho oh oh oh!

# Jai ho

# No, there is nothing
that can stop us

# Jai ho!
Nothing can ever come between us

# Jai ho

# So come and dance with me!

# Jai ho...

# Jai ho! #

Meanwhile, I'm
going to get leathered.

I'm going to die.