All language subtitles for Ch5 Cruising Asia with Jane McDonald 1080p.eng

I'm Jane McDonald,
and I'm cruising round the world.

Do you want to come?

I've spent half my life
on cruise ships...

You all right?

..and now I want to help you
get the most out of them.

Nearly two million Brits
took to the seas last year,

making this type of holiday more
popular than ever.

SHE SCREAMS

There's something
for everyone on a cruise -

excitement...

SHE SCREAMS

..wonderment...

Fair makes you feel humble.

..and romance.

Are you married, Captain? No.

GULLS SQUAWK

Come on, then.

This time, I'm in exotic
Southeast Asia...

Hiya, love.

..taking you up
the mighty Mekong River.

This is where millions come to find
calm and tranquillity,

or so I've been told.

HORNS BLARE

Oh, no, no, no, no. We're going
to die. We're going to die!

I'll be getting to know
the friendly people...

SHE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE

I've no idea. No idea
what's going on here.

..sampling a true taste
of the local cuisine...

Urgh! No, I can't, no.

..and searching for
some inner peace.

This is a deserted temple,

but I've never seen so many people.

So all aboard this gorgeous ship.

Can't get any better than this,
can you? It's fab.

Well, it can, actually,

as I've found some extra bits that
you will have never seen before.

That's a durian, the king of fruits.

Over here, in Asia, they love it.

It smells like old fruit gone off.

Urgh. No.

Vietnam, beloved of backpackers,
and a favourite of foodies,

as its surrounded by sea,
and has over 2,000 rivers.

From spectacular mountain ranges
to rice filled paddy fields,

there is no shortage of
things to see and do.

But first things first,
I need to sort out my spends.

Can I change £100?

It's actually quite expensive to
pick up Vietnamese money in the UK,

so you're best to do it
when you get here.

I'm exchanging my British pounds
for some Vietnamese dong.

Some ships change currency,
a lot don't.

So check out if they do or not.

So I'm going to get some money here

cos I want to go in to
Ho Chi Minh first.

It's only 100 quid.

Only 100 quid - hark at me
as if I've got loads of money.

Erm, two million. Two million? Yes.

Wow. I am now a millionaire.

And what a good tip?
You know, if I'm...

If bellboy or someone comes up,
you know what's a good tip?

It's around 50,000 Vietnamese dong.
50,000. Yes.

Which is what? Maybe £1 or £2.
Really, that's it? Yes.

And that's a good tip. Yes. Wow.

So 500,000 is...

..er...

Oh, hang on. 30,000 is £1.

30,000...

..equals...

500,000 is 16...

£16.66.

It is, isn't it?

Th... Six... Hang on a minute.

Maths never was my strong point.

Anyway, I've got my dong in my hand,

time for a quick tour round
Ho Chi Minh City,

where my adventure begins.

Come on, let's go see what
Vietnam's got to offer.

I hope it's bin day.

It's busy. It's loud. It's dusty.

It's like nowhere else
I've been on Earth, this.

Can you imagine if these...if every
bike was a car? It would be...

It would be chaos. Utter chaos.

I have noticed that everything
is done on the back of a bike.

A moped here, you can fit
a family of five in.

A moped in Vietnam is like
a Toyota in England.

Oh! Ah! Sorry.

TOOTS HORN

I've also noticed that you can
be killed at any minute here.

SHE LAUGHS

I don't understand any of that.

Hello.

Look at these lovely fruits.

I don't even know half of these.
What is that?

It looks like something out of The
Little Shop Of Horrors, doesn't it?

"Feed me, Seymour!"

Ho Chi Minh used to be
called Saigon.

It was built by the French, and even
has its own Notre Dame Cathedral.

It's the biggest city
in the country,

with more than eight million people.

And where there's people,
there's shopping.

Look, I've found a market. Now,
I'm at home when there's a market.

Come on, let's go and have a look.

If there's one thing I love
as much as cruising,

it's a ruddy good bargain.

If you are coming to this
part of the world, don't pack,

because everything is really cheap.

£7.50 for a formal outfit.

See, that's lovely. Look at that.
That's perfect for a cruise.

Isn't it? Do you think
we can go down here?

Hi! Come on, you know you want to.

Hello. Hello.

This is great.
SHE LAUGHS

Ooh, nice bras.

Nice little push up number there,
isn't it?

Every cup size going.

Big beige pants, you can't beat 'em.

They like their under crackers
here, don't they?

Oh, these are cute.

Do you do my size?
Which size, madam?

Big. OK.

What you doing?

I'm getting some shoes. You can
never have enough shoes -

it's a woman thing, you wouldn't
understand. Madam, sit down.

Sit down? Oh, all right.
Can I get down there?

Hey, look at this! This is amazing.

You get your shoes made for you.

I can't believe that. Oh!

I'm trying them on already.
Oh, hello. OK, madam?

I think so, yeah.

DIY shoes - this is fantastic,
isn't it?

Well, that's a new one on me -
shoes to go.

Aw, thank you.

All for only a fiver.

I could spend all day here,

but this isn't Markets With Jane,
it's Cruising With Jane,

so I better get a move on.

Ah!
TOOTS HORN

Oh! Thank you.

Getting used to the noise?

Yeah, it's sort of... Yeah,
it's weird, really, you do.

You just sort of get acclimatised
to everything, don't you?

I'm still not used to
the green cross code here.

I'm still not used to the traffic
and getting across the road.

Look at that!

Look at that. Look.

Wow, that's amazing.

It's a Catholic church.

And I don't suppose, really,
that there's many pink churches

in Vietnam.

But it is quite spectacular,
isn't it?

The crew reckon our transfer bus
is down the road.

Just need to get to
the other side first.

Have you seen it?

I'm not walking across the road.
I'm going to die.

HORNS BLARE

Just give it a go. Thing is,
we'll do it. We'll do it with you.

Shall we do that? Yeah? Yeah.

They've talked me into crossing
this road here in Vietnam.

I think it's a deathtrap,
personally,

but I've put a camera on my chest,

just to show you how scary this is!

Could be the end of the show, this.

Hello.

It's been a lovely life.

No, no, no, no!
We're going to die.

We're going to die! We're going
to die! We're going to die!

SHE SCREAMS

Argh!
HORNS BLARE

No, no, no! Do as the locals do.

No, oh, oh, oh!

No, no, no, no!

Ooft. That's enough
excitement for me,

get me off these streets
and onto that ship, please!

Oh... Oh, wow!

Coming up, I make myself at home...

Look at this! Yes. Look at
the size of this cabin.

..and get stuck in to
the local delicacies.

That's a durian - the king of fruits

Over here, in Asia, they love it.

It smells like old fruit gone off.

I'm in Southeast Asia,
cruising up the Mekong River.

Travelling through Vietnam
and Cambodia

to sample a taste of the east.

For me, this is really gonna
be a trip into the unknown.

From Ho Chi Minh
it's a quick drive to My Tho,

from where I will be
sashaying up the Mekong,

stopping at Tan Chau,

before crossing into Cambodia

and the capital, Phnom Penh.

Then it's on to the floating
villages of Kampong Chhnang

before my final destination,

the temple of Angkor Wat.

So, where do start?

Right here, on our ship -
the AmaDara.

At 302 feet long,
she's the biggest vessel

touring the Mekong route
from Vietnam to Cambodia.

Modelled on European river cruises,
she's got a style all of her own.

There are over 50 crew looking
after the 124 passengers,

so while she's a fair old size
by Mekong standards,

you still get a right
personal service.

Wow, this is a lot bigger
than I thought.

I've seen balconies here. I've never
seen that on a river cruise.

Oh, I've right perked up now.

It looks lovely, doesn't it?

Good afternoon, choum reap sor,

welcome aboard. Sorry,
what did you say?

It's a pleasure. Choum reap sor.
Choum...

Choum reap sor. Choum reap sor.
Choum reap sor. Choum reap sor.

Welcome on board... Thank you
very much. Watch your step.

I think I am going to
find my chi on here.

I don't even know what chi means,
I'll be honest.

I just made that up.
That's terrible, isn't it?

What is chi?

Anyway I'm going to find my chi.

Hello! Miss Jane. That's right.
Miss Jane, I like that.

Miss Jane. Miss Jane. Miss Jane,
right? I like it, yeah!

Yes, all right, your
room is upstairs.

OK, I'll follow you. Yes.
What's your name?

My name is Mi. Mi? Mi, yes. I'm Mi.

Ami? Yes.

Yes, but you just say Mi is OK.
OK. Yes.

Yes, yes. Right,
could get a bit confusing.

Here we go. Here we go.

Come on.

Oh! Oh, wow! This is your luggage.
Look at this. Yes.

Look at the size of this cabin.

Oh, it's very oriental, isn't it?
Very, very traditional.

There's a balcony. Yes.

A big balcony outside for you
and we have a gift for you also.

Is this mine? Yes, it's for you.

THEY LAUGH
That's so cute.

What is it? Is that an aardvark?
What is it? Anteater?

No, I'm not sure what it is. Turtle?

No, it's not a turtle. No?

I don't know what it is, I'm sorry.
No, I don't either.

Oh, wow! Look at all this.
Yes, also the flowers.

These are gorgeous.

It looks so healthy.

This is gonna be good for me
cos I'm not healthy, at all,

and I need to be healthy, me. Yes.

The fruit is good for you. Really?
What is this one?

Dragon fruit. Dragon fruit.
Yes. Right.

Wednesday, we have, at 5pm,

we will have the local fruit tasting

and you will try durian. Yeah.

Yes, it's really good. Really?
You try this before? No.

The smell is really good, for me,
because I love it. Yeah?

But for some guests,
they said it's really bad.

Yes... I'll you know, Mi.
I'll let you know.

I will wait on you.

I'm waiting your answer.

Yes, about the durian. Oh,
the durian. Yes. Ooh.

In here you have the bath tub.
Wow, this is massive.

Yes, and a shower. Jacuzzi. I've got
a Jacuzzi. Oh, my goodness me.

Yes. If you need to...
Oh, my goodness, Mi. Yes.

I get very excited about bathrooms.

I don't know why I get excited,

it's just that I always like to see
the bathrooms on a ship. Yeah.

She must think I'm bonkers.

Thank you, darling. You're welcome.
Thank you very much. My pleasure.

OK. Thank you. Thank you so much.

Right, I'll get unpacked.

Perfect. Yes, thank you. Lovely.

THEY LAUGH

You are adorable!

You're doing brilliantly, darling.
You are so good.

Thank you so much. She's adorable!

I think we'll have a lot of fun on
this ship if they're all like Mi.

No, not me, Mi. Her.

I knew this would get confusing.

It's sail away now,
which is very exciting,

cos that means we're on our way.

Ah, look at this.

Mm.

Where's the bar?

Oh, that looks good. Thank you.

Cheers.

Hi. Hi.

Oh, I'm enjoying that beer.
Don't spill it on yourself!

Oh, I'm really having
a lovely time now.

Now I've started to have a holiday.

I've got a beer in my hand.

I've got no traffic
trying to kill me.

I've got no crowds any more.

I've got the open water,
and I'm on my holidays.

I managed to get a few hours' sleep
with me jet lag,

and now I'm up and ready
for some action.

Now, then, yes,
I've got a T-shirt on.

I don't usually have T-shirts,
I don't do T-shirts a lot,

but I've brought one
and I've realised

it's got "Yorkshire
and proud of it",

so I'm really proud to
wear this today

and I hope it causes a lot of people
going, "Are you from Yorkshire?"

And also, because I didn't want
to spoil any of my shoes

that I've brought,

cos you know what I'm like with
shoes, I like my shoes.

These are the ones that I bought
at the market for six quid,

so I don't even care if these come
back on the ship or not.

So, off we go.

So, we need water. Yes.

Life jacket. Ah, right.

Thank you.

And just when I thought I couldn't
look any more glamorous.

Is that it?

Market excursion, that's grand.

Thank you.

Oh, lovely. Thank you very much.

Thank you. Mind the step, madam.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

We're heading off to Sa Dec, where
there is a popular local market.

Now there are lots of markets
to see here,

but this one is not really
for the tourists,

although that's what we are!

This is aimed at mainly
supplying the locals

so I've roped in the chef
from the boat, John,

who's going to tell me what's what.

Ah! You just have to... Ah!
Don't stop.

No, don't stop, don't stop.
Keep going. Oh, my God.

Hi there.

That's papaya. Yep. Wow.

Yeah, anything that's unusual,
that I don't see that we can't get,

I go to the fruit market,
pick it up, look at it and...

That's a great idea.

I was just saying how boring
we are in the United Kingdom

because we've only got like
apples, bananas, pears. Oranges.

You know, that's it,
isn't it, really? Yeah.

We're afraid, aren't we?
We're not adventurous, are we?

No, we're at all. We don't
like change. No. We don't.

Some durian over there, do you
want to have a look? Durian. OK.

It's the one that's...
Let's go and have a look.

Is that OK? OK, right. Ah!

Durian, erm... Yeah. ..it smells.

Yeah, so this... That stinks.

..this is a durian. So...

I don't know, but...

Oh, that's a durian.

The king of fruits.

Over here, in Asia, they love it.

It smells like old fruit gone off.

OK, you want me to try this?
It's up to you.

I mean, you can probably give it...

Sue, you've got to try that.

Durian.

JANE LAUGHS

If you think I'm tasting that!

Jane, can you just run through
your job description for me?

Yeah, I'm a...
Listen, I'm here...

It's called Cruising
With Jane McDonald,

it doesn't say I have to eat
everything that you give me.

No, no.

Look at your face, Sue.

Do you want to...? Would you
like to go have a look...? Yeah.

Please, carry on.

I've never seen so many different
types of fruit and vegetables ever.

It's like oranges, you know, you
would never think you would have

an orange orange and a green orange.

Well, no, you wouldn't eat a
green orange at home, would you?

Cos it would be too sour. Yeah.

Whereas here it's really sweet.

SHE SMACKS HER LIPS

Ooh, it was great
to have John to help.

Now I wonder if he can point me
in the direction of a chemist,

as I'm not feeling 100%.

John, just one minute. Yeah?

I've had a splitting headache
and a bad cold and a bad back

and a bad neck,
I'm just feeling off it. OK.

Do you know a good pharmacist,
or...?

Yeah, there's, erm,
there's a Chinese medicine shop.

It might not be what we get
in probably Europe,

probably something different and
it's down there, yeah.

Cheers, John. OK. See you later.
Bye-bye. Goodbye. Bye. Right.

Hello. Do you speak English?

No. No, OK.

Erm, I have...

SHE COUGHS

Ow, ow.

Stiff neck. Yeah, yeah. Yeah?

OK. For the neck?

Yep. This... Yeah.

One?

Oh, they have cinnamon,
they have, erm, white ginger.

But, you know, some other name,
I don't know.

This is traditional, like,
Chinese... Yeah. ..character.

A kind of root of some herb.
Root, root. Yeah, root.

Ooft. Oh, yeah.

Let me smell that again.

Okey doke.

You can do two times but
within a day. Within a day. Yeah.

So I shall be cured tomorrow.

JANE LAUGHS

I can't wait. Thank you.

Thank you. Hello.

A bit different to a packet
of paracetamol...

The dog's had enough.

..but I'm told it will do the trick.

Remember though, always check with
your doctor before taking.

Yep, he's had it.

Slowly, we have rain
and it's slippery,

so please mind your step.

The weather is unpredictable
at this time of year

as we've come in October which is
the tail end of the monsoon season.

Vietnam is a tropical country

so remember to bring a waterproof
when you pack, just in case.

I'm a bit wet and I'm a bit soggy

but I wouldn't have missed
that for the world.

That's been the trip of a lifetime
that I will never forget, ever.

And I've got something
to get rid of my cold.

It's a win-win!

A quick dry off and shower and then
I'll be as right as rain again.

Oh, no, don't mention rain, Jane!

Hiya, it's me and you again.

This is the bit where I show you the
ship. Let's go and have a wander.

It is extremely hot over here,
so, erm, don't...

..just don't bother about your hair.

My hair's been backcombed within
an inch of its life today.

It is a beautiful vessel,
I have to say.

Ooh, what's that, then?

Oh, wow, look at them.
They've got little boats tied.

It's like having one of
them caravans, isn't it,

where you put your bike on the back?

That looks like a dining room.

Let's have a look.
Can we get in here?

We're going in anyway.

Hi.

They're obviously making
something very tasty for later.

For anyone who hasn't cruised
before,

who's a bit worried
about seasickness,

I recommend that you dip your toe
into cruising with a river cruise.

Because they are a lot
more tranquil,

also there is no motion sickness
because it's...

..it's really flat.

You won't feel seasick at all.

Coming up, I discover the
many uses of the silkworm...

It's beautiful, but I daren't move.

..one for making nice dresses...

They're very nice.

..and two, as a snack.

Oh, that's disgusting!

I'm sailing up the Mekong River
from Vietnam through to Cambodia.

HORN BLARES

We started off in Ho Chi Minh

and now we are further north, in
the small village of Tan Chau.

It might be a bit of a back water,

but it produces some of
the finest silk in Vietnam.

The silk excursion is one
of the most popular on this trip.

So I am baggsying one of the first
rides out on the dockside.

Ooh.

That'll be that, then.

Oh, aye.

Right, and they're off.

At least it's safer than walking -
I hope.

Oh, my God, we're going to die.

Ah!

Morning. Hiya, love.

This is quite pleasant, actually.

Right, let's go and see some silk.

Silk, or lua if you're
from round these parts,

is woven into Vietnams' culture
and economy.

It's a natural fibre,
made by silkworm,

and gets turned into everything
from curtains to frilly knickers.

Did you know, to get just £2 of
silk, you'd need 3,000 silkworms?

No, neither did I - till
I looked it up on t'internet.

Now, where's the shop?

There's always a shop.

Hello. Hello. Nice to meet you.

Beautiful, beautiful.
Yeah. Thank you.

Could I have a suit?
Could I, erm...?

SHE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE

JANE LAUGHS

A long suit with trousers.

The yellow trousers.

The gold.
SHE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE

Yellow. Yellow, yeah? Yellow. Yeah?

SHE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE

I've no idea...no idea
what's going on here.

HORNS BLARE OUTSIDE

Oh...

That's too small, is it? Too small?

SHE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE

You can make one for me, yeah?
Oh, my God, we're off.

Right, love it.

This reminds me of being measured
up for one of my sequin numbers.

Is that big or not?

Hey, none of that.

Can you tell her I'm a size eight?

OK. Size eight.

SHE SPEAKS IN OWN LANGUAGE

She's probably saying, "Never in
this life, she isn't."

All right, I'm not an eight,
but God loves a trier.

While they make the necessary
adjustments,

I'm going to take a peak round
the factory next door.

SHE MOUTHS

This luxurious fabric has
been produced here

for thousands of years.

Once, only members of
the Vietnamese royal family

were allowed to wear it.

Later, it was used
as currency by traders,

and today, it's the perfect souvenir
for tourists to take home.

THEY LAUGH

What's the most interesting thing

you have learned on this tour,
ladies? The most...

That I don't like silk.
You don't like silk!

It's all about the product for you.

It's just not soft enough.
It just doesn't...

I want soft and silky, it just
doesn't... No. No.

This doesn't feel like the other
silk that we've felt before, right?

No. And in, like, the texture,
it doesn't feel...silky.

Can't wash it. Silky!
It doesn't feel silky.

Doesn't feel silky. Not to me. No.

Oh, well, you can't win 'em all.

I wonder how my little silk number
is coming along.

Wow!

Is Sue around, please?

SHE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE

Ooh!

It's beautiful but I daren't move.

Because it's so structured, you
have to stand right, otherwise...

..your belly will come out.

And I think it's good.
Yeah? Thumbs up?

Thumbs up, yeah? Like that, yeah.
Yeah?

Da. "Dayer"? Da.

Does that mean "yes"?
SHE LAUGHS

Da. Da, yeah. Yeah. Oh...
Thank you. Thank you.

So long, Tan Chau.

I'll miss your quality garments
at reasonable prices.

But, on this cruise, there's
still so much more to come.

The Mekong is the 12th longest
river in the world,

stretching 2,700 miles from Vietnam,
all the way up to China.

This is one of those cruises

where there's just as much
to see from the ship

as there is when you get off it.

Look at that.

You don't see that every day,
do you?

This is, by far, my favourite part
of any cruise.

You see the whole world go by.

I love it.

That...and eating.

And, thankfully, there is a
team of fully trained chefs,

led by head chef John,

who keeps us fed and watered
throughout the day.

Hi. What do you recommend?
Anything?

Oh, my God - the stir fry.

Stir fry. Doy's station.
The stir fry was so good.

Have that, seriously.

And on the appropriately named
action station

the chef will cook while you wait.

It's like your own
freshly cooked takeaway.

Oh... Hello, Doy.

Hello, hi. How are you?
I'm fine. And you?

Oh, very well.
What you got for me today?

Yeah, today, I stir fry some noodle,
ma'am, with vegetable and meat.

Right. I'll have, um, the chicken.

Chicken? Chicken, yes. Yeah?

So what sort of sauce is this?

Oyster sauce, soya sauce
and tomato ketchup.

Oh, really?

Yeah, we make it very,
very smell. Yeah?

Remember that.

How easy is that? Enjoy, ma'am.
Thank you.

Right, I'm off. Got to find a seat.

It's good to see
how they do it as well,

cos I spend about half an hour
cooking at home,

whereas that was like five minutes.

We're doing it wrong.

Mwah!

Time for pudding
and apparently tonight

there is the very popular
ice cream party.

I'm not missing out on this!

So this is a massive event,
apparently, the ice cream party.

The ship told us it's got 67 litres
of ice cream for us.

Really? Yes. 67?!
So we won't run short.

I'm doing this for you.
SHE LAUGHS

Oh, rum and raisin. Ah!

Yeah, that's the one for me.

Sacrifices, eh?
I reckon I deserve a medal.

Enjoy. I will.
Thank you very, very much.

Mm, that is so good, innit?

That is just a taste sensation,
isn't it, that?

I can't stop eating this.

I can see why everybody's here now.

I'll probably lick the bowl out
after I've finished this.

It is so good.

Don't let me do that again!

SHE LAUGHS

What a day it's been - silk,
shopping and sinful eating.

No wonder I'm knackered.
Night-night!

Gooooood morning, Vietnam!

Actually, it should be
"Goodbye, Vietnam,"

as we're about to cross over
the border into Cambodia.

For years, Cambodia was off-limits
to all but the most adventurous.

Now, the locals welcome allcomers,

keen to show off everything
the country has to offer.

It's a land of plenty,
with historic temples,

stunning views, gorgeous food...

..and rain.

Hi, Jane! Hello. Very nice
to meet you again.

Good morning. How are you doing?
Lovely to see you. Very, very well.

Did you enjoy a nice day and walk?
Yep, lovely.

I'm just going off now to the
markets. Wow. Yes, OK.

It's beautiful there. Is it?
There's a lot of things to do. Good.

And beautiful temple
and many things to explore.

OK! Yeah. And, furthermore,
tuk tuks are ready... Perfect.

Very excited.

Finally, it's stopped raining.

We've docked in the capital,
Phnom Penh.

I've never been anywhere
like this, ever.

I love the fact that it's...there's
just nothing PC here.

You can put five people on a moped,
no helmets, drive down the road,

no traffic lights,
people walk out in front of you,

nobody bats an eyelid.

And, do know what? It works.

Apart from this road.

SHE LAUGHS

So, now, you just walk across,
don't you?

You walk across and
they go around you.

See, look at that?

I've even walked across the road
without the help of several people.

Hello.

And these are called tuk tuks.

Which are taxis here.

And, er, I fancy one of them
a bit later.

They all look completely different,

they've all got their
own little personality

and it's the driver who
does them up and decorates them.

It's great, that, isn't it?

In the '70s, this place was
always in the news,

with wars and revolutions.

No tourist would dare
to set foot in it then.

But today, it's buzzing.

Full of life, and safe enough
for anyone to explore.

Today, I'm getting into the feel of
this beautiful part of the world.

And, er, and I'm going to embrace
it.

Could I have a coconut? Yes.
Thank you.

SHE LAUGHS

You don't often ask for a drink and
they get a machete out, do they?

Thank you, it's very good for you,
this, apparently,

I've read it in Woman's Own,
it must be true.

Mmm.

Market, here I come.

That's the New Market
in the city centre,

or the Phsar Thmei
as the locals call it.

They sell everything under one roof
here, from antiques to sarongs.

But for once, it's not the shopping
I'm interested in,

it's lunchtime and I'm starving.

Oh, my God, I'm so brave.
I crossed the road, on my own.

The food on board ship may be great

but I've decided to be adventurous
and get a real taste of Cambodia.

I love how, the fact they just
cook it there and then.

They just cook it on a makeshift
barbecue and there's lunch.

It seems to just work because
if you look through all the mayhem

and the chaos, the people are
just...so lovely. They just smile.

Hi.

Oh, my God, what's that?

They look like scorpions.

Can I...have a look?

That's a scorpion.

Deep-fried.

Look - and even the thing's there.

I think I need some help
before I get stung,

so I've asked our friendly fixer Ti
to show me what to nibble on.

What are these? It's a silkworm.
Silkworms? Yeah.

They look like bugs to me.
This is a chrysalis. A chrysalis?

They become a moth. OK.

And this is inside.
I'm with you.

Do they taste good?
Taste a bit like peanut. Peanuts?

Put it in your mouth.

Good.

Try it.

Is it soft in the middle?

It's soft.

SHE RETCHES

No, I can't. No.

No.
SHE RETCHES

No, I can't, I can't do it. I can't.

I know I'm brave Jane today,

but there's just some things
I will not put in my mouth!

I put it on my tongue then,
did you see that? Yeah.

It's very simple.

Yeah?

It's kind of addictive when you...
That's not bad, actually, is it?

I can't believe I've eaten that.
That's not bad. Not bad at all.

Yeah. I'm not going to eat 12 of
them, but, you know... You tried.

There's more bugs in this market
than in the I'm A Celebrity jungle!

Is that cockroach?
That's a water beetle. Water beetle.

There's a male and a female. OK.

The female tastes
better than the male -

much more meat and heavy
and crunchy. Yeah.

And they have to take
the wing off like this.

Then after that they take the heads
out and that's the body.

OK.

And it's a bit chewy, this one.

Yeah. And not really
a nice taste. No.

Don't force it on me.

And this, we have to
take out the leg.

That's a lot of work, isn't it?

A lot of work for this little guy.

Yeah. And they don't
taste that good? Yeah.

It's an acquired taste, you know?
I'm not acquiring that one. No, no.

Try and... See that?

Better than...

Better than worm. Really?

Er... A little garlic, please.

And it's a cricket. Yeah.
Giant cricket. Very nice.

I eat them even when I
was a kid. Little bit.

Oh! That's disgusting.

Really?

She says, putting
another bit in her mouth!

Coming up, I start
to feel at home...

Whoo! Look at this.
This is more like it. Look at that.

..and go in search of
my elusive chi.

I don't know what chi means.
Do you know what chi means?

Anybody know what chi means?

I'm sailing up the Mekong
from Vietnam,

and now we're in the city
of Phnom Penh in Cambodia.

I'm enjoying the buzz of the city,

but you can't beat a nice bit
of peace and quiet, as well.

Whoo! Look at this. This is more
like it. Look at that. Look at that.

Whoa. There's even a man waving.

Hello. Hello! Hi!

Hi.

Aren't they... They're lovely
and friendly, aren't they?

Oh! It's like a palace!

Oh, this is the yellow
brick road, look!

If I click my heels three times,

I'll be back in Wakefield.

Nope, still in Cambodia.

Look at this building.

I suppose, in a way,
it's like being in London

cos there's all that traffic
going round - isn't there? -

and then all of a sudden
you see Buckingham Palace.

You see, that must be the King.

Or the King's father.

He's waving, anyway. He's a very
friendly man by the look of it.

This is the Royal Palace -

the official residence
of His Majesty King Sihamoni.

This is hopefully the beginning
of me finding my chi.

Oh, yes. Have you worked out
what chi means yet? No idea.

I don't know what chi means.
Do you know what chi means?

Anybody know what chi means?

Oh, there's a monk! Monks.

Oh, sorry, I've just pointed.

Pointing is very
disrespectful in Cambodia.

So, you know, you can't point.

It's very disrespectful.

So you do that.

There's lots and lots of pigeons.
Do you think...

Cos there's loads of pigeons
in London, as well, isn't there?

Do you think it's palaces that
actually attract pigeons?

Mind you, there isn't...

There isn't a palace
in Bridlington...

..and there's loads
of pigeons there.

The Royal Palace is more
than 150 years old

and it's one of Phnom Penh's
most glorious sites.

Parts of this gleaming gold
palace are closed to the public

but you can still wander round
the beautiful grounds.

Being a palace, though,
you have to cover up -

so, boys, no shorts, and girls -
get those shoulders covered!

I have never seen anything
like this, ever.

I mean, it's stunning, isn't it?

You know, I don't think anyone
can teach you how to be happy.

I think that's something you
have to find yourself.

Right now I'm beginning
to feel very happy.

I definitely feel like Cambodia's
working its magic on me.

However, there is also a dark side

to Cambodia's
not-too-distant history.

In the late 1970s, an estimated
2.5 million Cambodians died

or were killed
during the Khmer Rouge reign.

Our ship has arranged an excursion

to the largest of the
killing fields.

Just outside Phnom Penh.

I was in two minds to go,

but I'm thankful I was able to visit
this spiritual place,

which now serves as a monument
to all who died,

and some who thankfully survived.

It's also here as a
constant reminder

to ensure that history never
repeats itself.

But the one thing that I am
seeing everywhere is

there's life all around.

There's chickens. I saw a hen over
there with her little chicks -

she'd got about five chicks just
walking along the grass.

And all the graves already are
shooting up with grass and greenery.

I was listening to the guide tell
us that.

Three butterflies just went past,
one landed on me shoulder,

and I just thought, "That's it.

"It's a big circle that just keeps
going on. Life keeps going on."

And that's what makes cruising
so special.

You move around different places

and learn so much more than you
would on a normal holiday.

So, I'm going out to the back of the
boat now.

Aft as they call it.

This, to me, is...is rural Cambodia.

I can't lie. It has taken me a while
to settle into this way of life.

I feel as if I've been a bit reborn
as I'm in the sunshine,

I'm on a beautiful ship, and I'm
enjoying every single moment.

If you're a little squeamish -

a bit like myself actually,
let's be honest.

I'm a bit of a wimp,
I'll be honest. I'm a wimp.

And the perfect way for me to see
Cambodia and Vietnam

is on this ship.

Oh, look at this pool.

I wonder if I could just...dip me
toe in.

It's nice, actually, isn't it,
to be able to just dip your feet in?

It's fantastic.

JANE GASPS

Oh, my God, I've dropped the camera.

This morning, we've left the
Mekong behind,

and headed up to the Tonle Sap River
to Kampong Chhnang,

a bustling port at the mouth
of the Tonle Sap Lake.

Good morning. Good morning.

Thank you.

Morning.

Today, we're downsizing for some
Floating With Jane McDonald.

You always look immaculate.

Oh, thank you.
Absolutely gorgeous.

A girl tries. Yeah.
JANE LAUGHS

Now, I like life on the water,

but we're off to see some people who
spend their entire lives on it.

Welcome to Kampong Chhnang.

Kampong Chhnang is one very famous
floating village in Cambodia.

The Tonle Sap is the largest
freshwater lake in Southeast Asia,

and provides most of the fish eaten
in Cambodia.

More than a million people
live here.

Many of them on these
floating villages.

The water levels change so much
between the dry and rainy season,

it's the most efficient way for the
fishermen to make a living.

When the lake's at its fullest,
they'll drift along,

stopping wherever the best catch is.

But when the dry season comes,

they have to move closer to the
shore to survive.

Our fixer, Ti, was raised on one
of these very villages,

so who better to be our guide.

I love the fact that they're
completely self-sufficient

on this floating village.
They've got everything

they could possibly need to survive,
haven't they?

It's part of their life.

Long ago here, I mean, they adapted
to the environment.

The fish is here, so they
catching fish,

all different kinds of technique.

And this one is very common.

Just scoop, you know, the fish out
of water

and they get the fish,
small, tiny sardine.

They grow everything on top
of water.

You know, they have water house
and they have some vegetable,

they have everything.

So they pretty much self-sufficient.

These families here, they all
make their living from fishing.

And in the dry season,
they grow pumpkin,

grow watermelon,

cassava, whatever crops they like.

So when there's plenty of water,
you eat a lot of fish.

When there's plenty of land,
you grow things on the land.

That's correct. It's a perfect way
of life, really, isn't it?

My family, soon I can
remember from the time I grew up,

we have floating village.

It's a beautiful life. Yeah.

And I love to see that everybody
just seems so happy. That's correct.

Yeah. I think, you know, when you
look at their house,

they grow flowers in front
of their house.

They have pets - they have dog,
they have cat.

And they're taking care of their
family. Yeah.

They may not know they live
in poverty,

they may not have much money
in their home, but they have food.

So the children, when you look
at them, they not hungry children.

No. So the best way to describe this
is there's poverty but not misery.

Yeah.

VOICEOVER: Ti is lovely.

Ti is just...

He's this little encyclopaedia

of all knowledge of Cambodia
and Vietnam.

He's the perfect guide to have.

We have been very lucky to have him.

Bye.

Well, you certainly get to see
another side of life

on a trip like this.

Coming up...

An electrifying experience
on my last night on the ship.

Can hear the electricity
coming off this.

I'm going to go up in flames.

Don't come too near.

I'm sailing up the Mekong River -
starting in Vietnam,

and now we're in Cambodia.

There's always so much stuff
laid on,

but if you fancy a day lazing by
the pool,

well, that's fine, as well.

They're all so sweet.

There's a fruit carving demo
happening today,

where the talented chefs demonstrate
what they can create

with a sharp knife and a
bowl of fruit.

Very impressive.

Right. I've got a bit of time to
kill, so there is nothing

I like doing more than taking
a wander round the ship on me own.

I do love the feel of this ship.

It's like a zen.

Is that...? Is that...?

A zen? Is it a zen?
Or is it, like, zen?

Anyway, you know what I'm on about.

What's your names?

Makara. Makara. Oh,
I like that. Makara.

Makara and... And Sophea.

Sophia? Yes.

Sophea? Cambodian name.

Cambodian. Oh, you're Cambodian.

Yes. Are you both Cambodian?

Yes.

So, are you all very beautiful
from Cambodia?

SHE LAUGHS
Yeah?

Yeah, yeah, you are.

You're lucky. Yes.
Gorgeous people.

Gorgeous.

JANE LAUGHS

It's crazy, innit?

I'm really getting used to this
temperature now.

As if by magic...

As if by magic.

You see, the weird thing is

everybody's in their swimming
costumes here

because a minute ago...the sun
was blazing.

It's quite bizarre.

It's a lovely little area,
this, to sit.

Hi.

Even if it is raining,

it doesn't matter cos you come up
here and sit with a book...

..have a cup of tea or a beer.

Or something a little strong if you
so wish.

Hello, love, how are you?

I'm very well. You've a lot to
answer for, you.

Why? What have I done?
What have I done?

My partner watches this
programme... Yeah.

..and we've ended up booking
a cruise next year.

Well, I'm really glad you have.

St Petersburg. Oh, you're going to
love it. You are going to love it.

I promise you. Well, I'll be writing
to you if I don't. Oh, please do.

It'll be your fault. Write to me if
you do, as well.

Just write to me. All right? Thanks.

Great to see you.

How sweet was that?

But, as with all cruises,
you have to keep moving.

Tonight's our last night onboard,

and what better way to celebrate
than by getting all dressed up?

Hello.

An excuse at last to wear me frock.

I do have a slight problem,

cos I sent this to get pressed
this afternoon,

and it's come back and it's clinging
to me.

See what I mean? It's following me.

It's following me.

Can hear electricity
coming off this.

I'm going to go up in flames.

Don't come too near.

So... But, yeah, it's very
glamorous, isn't it?

It makes you stand right, so...

..I think my core might be a little
bit better by the end of tonight.

Hopefully.

Right, I'm off. Bye.

I've even got me
home-made shoes on. Look.

So, yeah, I'm feeling
quite cheap tonight.

How much do you
reckon your outfit is worth?

Probably 20 quid all in.

It's not bad, that, is it?
20 quid.

No wonder it's all clinging to me.

JANE LAUGHS

Right.

It does feel so glamorous.

The captain is already
waiting for you.

Right. Best get on, then, hadn't I?

I can't believe I kept the
captain waiting

while I was dealing with me
wardrobe malfunction.

Thank you very much.
Enjoy ma'am.

Thank you for a fabulous cruise.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Cheers.

Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers.

What a lovely, lovely...

It's going to be fabulous.
Thank you.

Thank you.

Well, he didn't seem to mind.

Perhaps he was bedazzled by my
Princess Leia ensemble.

Wow! Look at you! What do you think?

We're definitely going to
fit together.

Trouble is, I've ironed it and it's
just stuck to me. I am loving this!

You know what, you have a
figure you can cling to so it's OK.

Oh, I don't think so.

I got it in Vietnam.

Do you remember I bought in that
shop we were all in? You did?

The silk shop, yeah.

No?!

That is gorgeous. Very pretty.

Now I'm all dressed up with
somewhere to go,

time to get the drinks in for me
new pals.

Tough job, innit?

It is, it's awful.

So this is your day?

Yeah. It's dreadful.

I have the best job in the world.

Do you want to taste it? Yeah.
Can I?

Course you can.

And cheers to that. What a fabulous
cruise this has been.

Coming up...

My Asian adventure comes to
an end

at one of the most spectacular
sights I've ever seen.

When there's something this amazing,

everybody wants to see it.

My cruise through Vietnam
and Cambodia is nearly over.

It's been a crazy ride,
but the more I've seen,

the more I've started to
feel at home here.

I've been told by the crew that
we're leaving the ship behind

and finishing this trip off at one
of the world's greatest sights.

They kept quiet about the
5am start, though.

Morning.

Right. I'm in Angkor Wat.

I am definitely here.

This is not just a voiceover.

I'm just going to read some
things about Ang... Ang-kor Wat.

"Angkor Wat is an
awe inspiring temple

"that is stunning for both its grand
scale and its incredible detail.

"Culminating in what is..."

I can't read at this...

It's five o'clock in the morning,
you want me to read an essay?

COCKEREL CROWS

Ooh, can you hear the cock?

I've never seen a sunrise.

I've never been up at this time.

This is a deserted temple.

But I've never seen so many people.

Every year, over two million people
visit Angkor Wat.

And seeing the sunrise over
the ruins

is one of the most photographed
sights in all of Cambodia.

People have been coming
here for a thousand years.

Standing in this very spot to
look at the thing we're looking at.

A thousand years.

Here we go.

When there's something this amazing,

everybody wants to see it.

Who can blame 'em?

I'm the only person here without
a camera.

So I'm going to experience
this for real.

And I'll always have this memory
in my head.

And thankfully,
you're taking all the pictures.

I'm very lucky that way.

Right. Come on, let's go to
the temple.

Now this particular trip, as well,
comes with the ship.

So we might bump into a few
passengers today.

Got a friend.

Oh, that's better. Look at that.

It is rather fabulous, innit?

And the... And the temperature's
just beautiful at this time of day.

That is one good thing about getting
up at 3.30 in the morning.

Wow.

Ooh, look at this.

Being up early, I didn't have the
chance to swot up on the temple,

but luckily I've got a few things
written down here

to guide us through.

Built in the 12th century,
Angkor Wat is one of the largest

religious monuments
ever constructed.

Monks? Where?

WHISPERING: On your right,
walking across you now.

Oh.

Hi.

See, I know how to do that now.

The monks, don't touch 'em.

You're not allowed to touch a monk.

Could you quickly just tap
the guy on the shoulder, though?

No! You Can't!

Stop it. You're not allowed to point
either. It's like...

But they're very smiley monks,
aren't they?

They're not sombre monks.

The temple is the heart
and soul of Cambodia,

and it draws people from all over
the world.

I wonder what this was, then.

Did people used to live 'ere?

Well, it was originally built as a
Hindu temple,

dedicated to the god Vishnu,

and was converted into the
Buddhist faith in the 14th century.

Some say it was built as a tomb for
King Suryavarman II.

More recently, the ruins were
the backdrop

to Angelina Jolie's Lara Croft in
the Tomb Raider film.

Funny that, because it reminds me
of another movie.

It is very Indiana Jones, isn't it?

There's carvings everywhere.

It must've taken ages to do this.

There are almost 2,000 apsaras,
or Hindu nymphs,

carved by hand into the
temple walls.

Each of them unique.

Better than a bit of artex, eh?

It really is spectacular.

Every little angle about it
just...just fits.

There's been so much detail gone
into the architecture of this.

This place really takes your
breath away.

You can see why people call it
the eighth wonder of the world.

It immediately relaxes you and takes
you to another place in your mind.

I have been thinking about it
all week.

And if chi means going to
a different part of the world

and opening yourself up to
different experiences...

BIRD CHIRPS

Ooh.

Hearing birdsong, sat in a temple...

..feeling at peace, and realising
how lucky we are.

Yeah, I think I might have found it.

I really do feel blessed by coming
on this cruise.

I must admit, when we first arrived,
I was nervous.

Growing up at a time when I did,

all that ever seemed to come out of
this part of the world was bad news.

The people here have suffered.

But they've come through it.

And seeing them now, so happy,
so friendly,

so determined to build a better
future for themselves,

it's really quite humbling.

To spend time with them is to find
out what life is truly about.

# The higher you build
your barriers

# The taller I become

# The further you take my
rights away

# The faster I will run

# You can deny me

# You can decide to turn your
face away

# No matter, cos there's

# Something inside so strong
So strong

# I know that I can make it

# Though you're doing me wrong
So wrong

# You thought that my pride was gone
Oh, no

# Something inside so strong

# Brothers and sisters

# When they insist we're just
not good enough

# When we know better

# Just look 'em in the eyes and say

# I'm going to do it anyway

# Because there's

# Something inside so strong
Inside so strong

# I know that I can make it
I can make it

# Though you're doing me wrong
So wrong

# You thought that my pride was gone
Oh, no

# Oh, no

# Something inside so strong

# O-o-o-oh

# Something inside so strong. #

What?

MUSIC: Dam Tham
by Denis Hekimian and Nadja Nguyen

Subtitles by Red Bee Media