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1
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:07,920
Trust me, sis, this is going to be
the best latte you've ever tasted.
2
00:00:08,310 --> 00:00:10,549
I can't believe you guys
have got a coffee machine.
3
00:00:10,550 --> 00:00:11,589
Coffee machine?
4
00:00:11,590 --> 00:00:15,629
No, we just make them using
an electric toothbrush we got in a car-boot sale.
5
00:00:15,630 --> 00:00:17,069
Well, I'm not staying long.
6
00:00:17,070 --> 00:00:20,109
Your flat's dirtier than a
Premiership footballer's Twitter feed.
7
00:00:20,110 --> 00:00:23,670
Tom and Ben promised
they'd spring-clean. Check it out. I'm sure they've been...
8
00:00:24,790 --> 00:00:25,950
busy.
9
00:00:27,430 --> 00:00:29,149
Ready.
10
00:00:29,150 --> 00:00:31,269
Steady!
11
00:00:31,270 --> 00:00:33,349
Blow!
12
00:00:33,350 --> 00:00:36,230
Aaah!
13
00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:41,669
I thought you were tidying the
flat.
14
00:00:41,670 --> 00:00:43,389
What would you prefer?
15
00:00:43,390 --> 00:00:47,670
We tidy the flat, or we reinvent
human transportation for ever?
16
00:00:50,110 --> 00:00:54,629
Right, I'm off. Andrew says he's got
something important to ask me.
17
00:00:54,630 --> 00:00:56,149
Mind you, last time he said
that,
18
00:00:56,150 --> 00:01:00,189
it was to help him choose
a new knob for his gear stick.
19
00:01:00,190 --> 00:01:01,870
Don't even bother, Ben.
20
00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:07,389
Ta-da!
21
00:01:07,390 --> 00:01:09,549
Oh, where's Rachel?
She's gone.
22
00:01:09,550 --> 00:01:12,469
Rachel, come back!
23
00:01:12,470 --> 00:01:16,390
We're about to swap round!
You can watch me blow Ben!
24
00:01:40,710 --> 00:01:42,549
Tom, if you really wanted
to impress Rachel,
25
00:01:42,550 --> 00:01:44,389
you should have started
by tidying the flat.
26
00:01:44,390 --> 00:01:46,470
He needs to tidy his face first.
27
00:01:47,590 --> 00:01:49,989
I'm not changing to get a girl.
28
00:01:49,990 --> 00:01:52,029
Call me an old romantic,
29
00:01:52,030 --> 00:01:56,029
but I believe that one day the
girl of my dreams will just walk through that door
30
00:01:56,030 --> 00:01:58,469
into my outstretched arms.
31
00:01:58,470 --> 00:02:01,270
Then we'll go to my room and do it
till my cock drops off.
32
00:02:02,550 --> 00:02:06,469
Well, I've already got a girlfriend.
Tess. She's Californian.
33
00:02:06,470 --> 00:02:08,510
We chat online all the time.
34
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,069
Whoa!
35
00:02:11,070 --> 00:02:13,149
Is that her? She's fit!
36
00:02:13,150 --> 00:02:16,829
She's not fit, Ben. She's smart,
funny, perceptive,
37
00:02:16,830 --> 00:02:19,309
and, yeah, all right, she is a
bit fit.
38
00:02:19,310 --> 00:02:22,029
She's doing a PhD in literature,
studying the classics.
39
00:02:22,030 --> 00:02:24,310
Why is there a picture of me
on your profile?
40
00:02:25,950 --> 00:02:27,909
I couldn't send her a picture
of me.
41
00:02:27,910 --> 00:02:30,190
And, well, you're
the hottest guy I know...
42
00:02:31,670 --> 00:02:32,710
in the flat.
43
00:02:34,190 --> 00:02:38,069
Anyway, isn't pretending to be Ben a
bit weird, sordid and sad?
44
00:02:38,070 --> 00:02:40,789
There's nothing weird,
sordid or sad about it.
45
00:02:40,790 --> 00:02:43,870
Now, if you don't mind,
I'm off to Skype my girlfriend.
46
00:02:48,950 --> 00:02:51,509
He's having more success
with my face than I am.
47
00:02:51,510 --> 00:02:54,309
I can't believe he didn't use
my face.
48
00:02:54,310 --> 00:02:56,269
Not even you should use your
face.
49
00:02:56,270 --> 00:02:58,750
What is this today?
50
00:03:01,350 --> 00:03:03,509
She's not online.
51
00:03:03,510 --> 00:03:07,270
I don't get it. She's always online.
It's one of her best qualities.
52
00:03:08,310 --> 00:03:10,469
I feel sorry for you, Matthew.
53
00:03:10,470 --> 00:03:15,470
Imagine being so ashamed of
who you are that you have to start living a lie.
54
00:03:17,110 --> 00:03:18,189
Mum?
55
00:03:18,190 --> 00:03:20,109
There's my boy!
56
00:03:20,110 --> 00:03:23,189
The barrister!
57
00:03:23,190 --> 00:03:24,709
Barrister?
58
00:03:24,710 --> 00:03:26,269
You've come to visit?
59
00:03:26,270 --> 00:03:28,630
Well, of course I have!
You're getting married!
60
00:03:30,070 --> 00:03:32,870
Married?
And to Matthew's sister!
61
00:03:34,270 --> 00:03:36,430
What?
62
00:03:39,910 --> 00:03:42,629
So, you're a lawyer who's marrying my
sister, are you?
63
00:03:42,630 --> 00:03:46,950
Look, I just wanted my mum
to be proud of me, all right? Help me out, mate.
64
00:03:48,030 --> 00:03:51,390
There you go, Mum!
Oh, thanks, love!
65
00:03:52,470 --> 00:03:54,470
Oh! Minty!
66
00:03:55,510 --> 00:03:57,189
I wasn't expecting a visit.
67
00:03:57,190 --> 00:03:59,549
I haven't heard from you in four
years.
68
00:03:59,550 --> 00:04:03,389
Oh, love, you know how busy
it is on the cruise ships.
69
00:04:03,390 --> 00:04:06,429
Singing all night,
hungover all day.
70
00:04:06,430 --> 00:04:08,869
But I read all your letters
with all your news.
71
00:04:08,870 --> 00:04:11,549
Your own legal firm.
72
00:04:11,550 --> 00:04:14,469
Pilot's licence.
73
00:04:14,470 --> 00:04:17,630
The charity single you recorded with
Michael Buble.
74
00:04:18,870 --> 00:04:20,189
Well, I'm here now.
75
00:04:20,190 --> 00:04:23,629
The Floating Paradise
is in port for 24 hours,
76
00:04:23,630 --> 00:04:28,549
so I thought, why not come and
congratulate my son on his engagement?
77
00:04:28,550 --> 00:04:31,390
Also, they're fumigating my
cabin for rats.
78
00:04:32,550 --> 00:04:34,949
Oh, son, you'll make
such a handsome groom.
79
00:04:34,950 --> 00:04:38,829
I always remember how good your
father looked on his wedding day.
80
00:04:38,830 --> 00:04:42,149
I couldn't keep my hands off
him. Oh, how romantic.
81
00:04:42,150 --> 00:04:45,030
Not really. I was only the
wedding singer.
82
00:04:46,310 --> 00:04:48,150
The bride was furious.
83
00:04:49,150 --> 00:04:53,189
Ooh, Tom, I've bought you
an engagement present.
84
00:04:53,190 --> 00:04:58,589
A crate of Brazilian wine
all the way from Rio.
85
00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:00,429
It's blue.
86
00:05:00,430 --> 00:05:02,349
Yeah. I'll level with you.
87
00:05:02,350 --> 00:05:05,229
I bought it on the cheap from Paolo
in the engine room.
88
00:05:05,230 --> 00:05:06,670
He may have made it himself.
89
00:05:07,870 --> 00:05:09,789
Oh. Thanks, Mum.
90
00:05:09,790 --> 00:05:12,750
Presents never were your
strong point.
91
00:05:17,310 --> 00:05:18,709
Thanks, Tom's mum.
92
00:05:18,710 --> 00:05:21,269
Merry Christmas, everybody.
93
00:05:21,270 --> 00:05:25,190
Ah. Sorry, darling, I ran out of
wool.
94
00:05:28,510 --> 00:05:33,149
Ah, come on, love. It wasn't easy
being a single mum.
95
00:05:33,150 --> 00:05:36,550
It wasn't easy going to school
in a woollen boob tube.
96
00:05:39,110 --> 00:05:43,349
So, Matthew, how do you feel about my
boy marrying your sister?
97
00:05:43,350 --> 00:05:48,069
Well, I'm just pleased that
finally she's going to make an honest man of him.
98
00:05:48,070 --> 00:05:50,949
Come on, Tom, you're taking
me to dinner.
99
00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:54,550
We'll spend some of your Nobel Peace
Prize money.
100
00:06:00,110 --> 00:06:02,989
Can you believe Tom's lies?
Engaged to Rachel?
101
00:06:02,990 --> 00:06:05,109
Pilot's licence? Nobel Peace
Prize?
102
00:06:05,110 --> 00:06:07,429
If Michael Buble had known
about this,
103
00:06:07,430 --> 00:06:11,429
he would have never recorded that
charity single with him.
104
00:06:11,430 --> 00:06:12,989
He's such a liar.
105
00:06:12,990 --> 00:06:18,389
Ah! Says the man who used
my face to get a girlfriend.
106
00:06:18,390 --> 00:06:20,309
Me lying to Tess is different.
107
00:06:20,310 --> 00:06:22,589
Our relationship is online only.
108
00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:24,870
It has no consequences in
real life.
109
00:06:27,510 --> 00:06:28,869
Tess!
110
00:06:28,870 --> 00:06:30,590
Surprise!
111
00:06:31,790 --> 00:06:34,230
Matthew!
112
00:06:38,190 --> 00:06:41,350
I'm going to do it
till my cock drops off!
113
00:06:42,510 --> 00:06:45,269
I've come to stay. I hope you
don't mind.
114
00:06:45,270 --> 00:06:48,389
I am American, so just blame
my aggressive foreign policy!
115
00:06:48,390 --> 00:06:49,789
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
116
00:06:49,790 --> 00:06:52,869
No, he doesn't mind.
Do you, Matthew?
117
00:06:52,870 --> 00:06:54,909
Cos he's Matthew. Aren't you,
Matthew?
118
00:06:54,910 --> 00:06:57,109
Yes, Matthew. I'm Matthew.
119
00:06:57,110 --> 00:07:01,909
Now, he's not the bald one, so I
guess he's the lazy, stupid one?
120
00:07:01,910 --> 00:07:05,549
Ha. Yeah, he's the lazy,
stupid one.
121
00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:07,509
Yeah, I'm Ben.
122
00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:09,749
Oh.
123
00:07:09,750 --> 00:07:11,709
Is... is there somewhere I can
drop these?
124
00:07:11,710 --> 00:07:14,350
I mean, I'm carrying more baggage
than Hamlet's mother. Get it?
125
00:07:17,110 --> 00:07:18,669
Yeah, he... he gets it.
126
00:07:18,670 --> 00:07:22,109
Come on, Matthew. Which
one's your room?
127
00:07:22,110 --> 00:07:26,229
Wait. No, no, no, just stay in here
in the... in the communal area.
128
00:07:26,230 --> 00:07:29,869
I'll fix you a... a minty latte.
Ha-ha.
129
00:07:29,870 --> 00:07:32,069
Just don't do anything I
wouldn't do.
130
00:07:32,070 --> 00:07:34,110
Like have full sex.
131
00:07:35,470 --> 00:07:36,909
Surprised, huh?
132
00:07:36,910 --> 00:07:41,509
I thought I'd just show up like
Lizzie Bennett in your favourite book.
133
00:07:41,510 --> 00:07:43,469
The Very Hungry Caterpillar?
134
00:07:43,470 --> 00:07:45,629
I'm en route to Italy.
135
00:07:45,630 --> 00:07:49,149
As you know, I'm studying Romeo And
Juliet this semester.
136
00:07:49,150 --> 00:07:52,349
I'm off to see Verona.
Who's she?
137
00:07:52,350 --> 00:07:56,149
What? Oh, that famous
English sense of humour!
138
00:07:56,150 --> 00:08:00,789
I think you only get away with it,
though, because of that cute accent.
139
00:08:00,790 --> 00:08:02,589
Go on, recite me some poetry.
140
00:08:02,590 --> 00:08:06,070
Poetry? Erm...
141
00:08:07,710 --> 00:08:10,189
There once was a man from
Nantucket
142
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:13,109
Who... Forget the poetry.
143
00:08:13,110 --> 00:08:16,429
Muffin Puffin. Muffin Puffin?
144
00:08:16,430 --> 00:08:18,870
There's something I wanna
show you.
145
00:08:21,950 --> 00:08:25,629
Two tickets to that art show
you were raving about!
146
00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:28,309
We can go tomorrow
before my flight leaves.
147
00:08:28,310 --> 00:08:30,589
Ah!
148
00:08:30,590 --> 00:08:33,749
Looks like a lot of art.
It's a lot of Monet.
149
00:08:33,750 --> 00:08:36,549
You're telling me! 15 quid a
ticket?
150
00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:39,509
I like, er... Monet.
151
00:08:39,510 --> 00:08:42,869
Maybe I could come with you,
er... both?
152
00:08:42,870 --> 00:08:46,109
Baby, I've had a long flight.
Is it OK if I go take a shower?
153
00:08:46,110 --> 00:08:48,470
Oh, yeah, it's that way.
154
00:08:50,070 --> 00:08:52,510
Oh! Feel free to join me.
155
00:08:56,230 --> 00:08:59,109
Ben, if you so much as
lay a finger on that woman...
156
00:08:59,110 --> 00:09:01,670
It's not my finger I want to lay
on her.
157
00:09:03,350 --> 00:09:05,709
It's my penis.
158
00:09:05,710 --> 00:09:12,709
Oh, son, I haven't felt this
stuffed since that male voice choir came on board. Heh.
159
00:09:12,710 --> 00:09:14,909
Carol! How was your meal?
160
00:09:14,910 --> 00:09:19,229
Oh, fantastic. Tom's been telling me
all about his wedding plans.
161
00:09:19,230 --> 00:09:21,789
I cannot believe Brian May is going
to play The Wedding March
162
00:09:21,790 --> 00:09:24,469
from the roof of the church.
163
00:09:24,470 --> 00:09:26,989
You're not going to believe
this, but Tess has arrived.
164
00:09:26,990 --> 00:09:29,309
What, your girlfriend?
My girlfriend.
165
00:09:29,310 --> 00:09:31,389
Don't worry, Mum.
It's complicated.
166
00:09:31,390 --> 00:09:33,189
Oh, say no more.
167
00:09:33,190 --> 00:09:37,829
I once had a similar situation in
Kuala Lumpur with two taxi drivers.
168
00:09:37,830 --> 00:09:40,149
Oh, God.
169
00:09:40,150 --> 00:09:43,870
Let's just say they both
came at the same time.
170
00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:47,109
Mum!
171
00:09:47,110 --> 00:09:49,069
I'm joking, Tom!
172
00:09:49,070 --> 00:09:52,309
Anyway, I've got to be back on board
by tomorrow afternoon.
173
00:09:52,310 --> 00:09:54,909
Am I going to get to see
Rachel during my stay?
174
00:09:54,910 --> 00:09:57,189
I've got so much to talk to her
about.
175
00:09:57,190 --> 00:10:00,949
Er... no. Erm... she's away,
isn't she, Matthew?
176
00:10:00,950 --> 00:10:04,469
Yeah. She's in... Moldova.
177
00:10:04,470 --> 00:10:07,949
Oh. What a shame!
178
00:10:07,950 --> 00:10:10,349
Still, beddy-bobos time for me.
179
00:10:10,350 --> 00:10:13,549
All this talk of romance, though,
180
00:10:13,550 --> 00:10:17,029
makes me want to get out there and
find myself a new man.
181
00:10:17,030 --> 00:10:20,469
Oh, that won't be hard, Carol.
I'm sure men are queuing up for you at the docks.
182
00:10:20,470 --> 00:10:22,070
Ha-ha!
183
00:10:23,470 --> 00:10:26,150
Cos she's a cruise-ship
singer, not because she's a...
184
00:10:28,950 --> 00:10:30,389
And Moldova?
185
00:10:30,390 --> 00:10:33,909
You put me on the spot! Why did you
have to pick my sister?
186
00:10:33,910 --> 00:10:35,869
Because she's perfect.
187
00:10:35,870 --> 00:10:38,429
All this lying has to stop.
Yeah.
188
00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:40,749
No, not your lying, Ben.
Your lying needs to carry on.
189
00:10:40,750 --> 00:10:42,749
But, Tom, no more wedding nonsense.
190
00:10:42,750 --> 00:10:47,110
I can't cancel the wedding.
What would I tell Brian May?
191
00:10:48,710 --> 00:10:51,389
The wedding's not real, Tom.
192
00:10:51,390 --> 00:10:53,509
You're right, as always.
193
00:10:53,510 --> 00:10:56,190
Ha. I'm so glad you're my best man.
194
00:10:59,390 --> 00:11:02,229
And, Ben, if you can keep
this ruse up for one more day,
195
00:11:02,230 --> 00:11:05,229
then Tess and I can go back
to our perfect relationship,
196
00:11:05,230 --> 00:11:07,029
where we live on opposite sides of
the planet.
197
00:11:07,030 --> 00:11:09,069
I mean, she'd never go near
me in real life.
198
00:11:09,070 --> 00:11:12,229
Oh, just tell her the truth.
199
00:11:12,230 --> 00:11:15,350
She'll love you for who you are. We
should tell her tonight.
200
00:11:16,550 --> 00:11:20,270
Muffin Puffin, I'm going to borrow
one of your T-shirts to sleep in, OK?
201
00:11:21,670 --> 00:11:24,069
We should tell her in the morning.
202
00:11:24,070 --> 00:11:26,150
Please!
203
00:11:27,190 --> 00:11:29,349
All right. I get it.
204
00:11:29,350 --> 00:11:32,749
She's your soul mate.
Besides, she's not my type.
205
00:11:32,750 --> 00:11:35,830
Art galleries? Books? Taking
showers?
206
00:11:37,590 --> 00:11:39,789
You said she was into the
classics.
207
00:11:39,790 --> 00:11:42,710
She hasn't mentioned
Aerosmith or AC/DC once.
208
00:11:44,590 --> 00:11:46,269
Ben, you're going to go in there
209
00:11:46,270 --> 00:11:49,629
and diplomatically give Tess
a reason why it's best that you slept on the sofa.
210
00:11:49,630 --> 00:11:51,789
Got it.
211
00:11:51,790 --> 00:11:54,469
"Sorry, Treacle,
it's already dropped off."
212
00:11:54,470 --> 00:11:56,510
Not so fast.
213
00:11:57,710 --> 00:12:01,390
You'll need this hands-free kit.
I've got an idea.
214
00:12:04,070 --> 00:12:05,550
Right. Repeat after me.
215
00:12:07,910 --> 00:12:11,190
Ah, there you are, my darling.
216
00:12:13,590 --> 00:12:16,870
I'm so glad the two of us
can finally be alone.
217
00:12:20,430 --> 00:12:23,789
Don't say a word. Just listen.
218
00:12:23,790 --> 00:12:27,030
I ache for you
with every fibre of my being.
219
00:12:30,910 --> 00:12:34,309
But we are not for tonight.
220
00:12:34,310 --> 00:12:36,909
Like Hermia and Lysander in A
Midsummer Night's Dream,
221
00:12:36,910 --> 00:12:40,550
we must "Lie further off,
in human modesty".
222
00:12:43,830 --> 00:12:46,269
Sweet dreams, my love.
223
00:12:46,270 --> 00:12:48,150
Until the morning.
224
00:12:49,390 --> 00:12:50,910
Good night, then, Matthew.
225
00:12:52,990 --> 00:12:55,150
Oh! Good night, Mrs P.
226
00:13:00,870 --> 00:13:03,029
It worked!
227
00:13:03,030 --> 00:13:05,629
Matthew, you're really good
at not sleeping with girls.
228
00:13:05,630 --> 00:13:08,590
Cheers, mate, beddy-bobos time.
229
00:13:14,030 --> 00:13:17,029
Dude! Nice jimjams!
230
00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:20,350
Oh, I was about to say
the exact same thing to you.
231
00:13:23,230 --> 00:13:24,349
Buy one...
232
00:13:24,350 --> 00:13:26,790
Get two free!
233
00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:31,829
Sleep well?
234
00:13:31,830 --> 00:13:34,389
Well, it was a bit warm
sharing a sofa.
235
00:13:34,390 --> 00:13:36,589
He stripped down to his
birthday suit.
236
00:13:36,590 --> 00:13:40,070
Yeah, my mum made it for me.
237
00:13:41,270 --> 00:13:46,349
Nearly ready, Muffin Puffin. All set
for some awesome Impressionism?
238
00:13:46,350 --> 00:13:49,670
I shertainly am, Mish Moneypenny!
239
00:13:52,310 --> 00:13:54,149
Brosnan.
240
00:13:54,150 --> 00:13:58,589
Impressionism is a type of
painting... that you really like.
241
00:13:58,590 --> 00:14:02,029
Oh, pretending to be you is so dull.
242
00:14:02,030 --> 00:14:04,790
I know. I have to do it all the time.
243
00:14:06,390 --> 00:14:07,709
Morning, boys!
244
00:14:07,710 --> 00:14:08,989
Morning. Morning.
245
00:14:08,990 --> 00:14:10,989
And morning, Matthew!
246
00:14:10,990 --> 00:14:13,509
Ooh, it's such a shame
having to leave
247
00:14:13,510 --> 00:14:16,429
just when things are
getting so interesting,
248
00:14:16,430 --> 00:14:19,909
but my ship sails this
afternoon so I must away.
249
00:14:19,910 --> 00:14:24,829
Yeah, before I do, I need to
"drop anchor" myself. I'm off to the poop deck.
250
00:14:24,830 --> 00:14:26,630
Oh, Mum!
251
00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:30,629
So, are you going to tell your
mum the wedding's not real?
252
00:14:30,630 --> 00:14:33,510
Oh, what's the use? It's not like
she's going to see Rachel, is it?
253
00:14:34,710 --> 00:14:38,949
Crying girl. Count me out.
254
00:14:38,950 --> 00:14:40,869
Rachel, what is it?
255
00:14:40,870 --> 00:14:45,669
It's Andrew. He's such a
bastard. I'll never forgive him.
256
00:14:45,670 --> 00:14:47,069
What's he done?
257
00:14:47,070 --> 00:14:49,990
He's asked me to marry him.
258
00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:57,269
I'm not ready to get married!
But I do love him.
259
00:14:57,270 --> 00:14:59,589
Maybe I should marry him.
Maybe I should wait.
260
00:14:59,590 --> 00:15:01,069
Latte?
261
00:15:01,070 --> 00:15:04,629
Oh, God, I don't know! I just need
some time on my own to think!
262
00:15:04,630 --> 00:15:06,310
Bloody hell. It's just a coffee.
263
00:15:07,510 --> 00:15:08,910
Rachel!
264
00:15:10,190 --> 00:15:12,230
Shit!
265
00:15:14,910 --> 00:15:17,589
Oh! Oh! Oh!
266
00:15:17,590 --> 00:15:20,229
I feel 15 years younger!
267
00:15:20,230 --> 00:15:23,589
Come on, Mum.
Let's go and get your things.
268
00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:26,389
Ooh! What did you do that for?
269
00:15:26,390 --> 00:15:28,589
He was giving you some time
on your own to think.
270
00:15:28,590 --> 00:15:31,469
Yeah. All done? Brilliant.
271
00:15:31,470 --> 00:15:33,669
Not really.
I need somewhere to stay.
272
00:15:33,670 --> 00:15:38,869
Well, that's great. Yeah, you can
stay here in Matthew's room.
273
00:15:38,870 --> 00:15:40,829
Oh, Tom, thanks. That's really
kind of...
274
00:15:40,830 --> 00:15:42,629
She cannot stay here.
275
00:15:42,630 --> 00:15:44,469
I'll keep her talking in there,
calm her down.
276
00:15:44,470 --> 00:15:46,589
She'll be back with Andrew
by the end of the day.
277
00:15:46,590 --> 00:15:48,789
And I'll get my mum back on
her ship.
278
00:15:48,790 --> 00:15:52,189
And, Ben, once you're done
at the gallery, you have to get Tess on her flight.
279
00:15:52,190 --> 00:15:55,149
And then we'll meet back
tonight for a lads-only curry.
280
00:15:55,150 --> 00:15:57,789
To celebrate our inability
to deal with women!
281
00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,950
Yeah! Oh...
282
00:16:04,990 --> 00:16:07,589
Oh, my God! That free-form
jazz ensemble!
283
00:16:07,590 --> 00:16:11,509
I've never seen someone play
a tuba with a hammer before.
284
00:16:11,510 --> 00:16:14,229
And what about that interpretive
dance performance,
285
00:16:14,230 --> 00:16:17,189
where the dancers
were entirely motionless?
286
00:16:17,190 --> 00:16:20,510
Those three hours just flew
by. What a great day!
287
00:16:22,070 --> 00:16:24,590
Ben? How did it go?
288
00:16:25,590 --> 00:16:27,070
Ben?
289
00:16:28,630 --> 00:16:31,069
Sorry, I didn't hear a word of
that.
290
00:16:31,070 --> 00:16:34,549
These are brilliant.
They block out everything.
291
00:16:34,550 --> 00:16:37,149
She did not stop talking all day.
292
00:16:37,150 --> 00:16:41,430
Oh, sounds wonderful.
Matthew, it was bullshit.
293
00:16:42,670 --> 00:16:45,509
It was music that didn't
sound anything like music,
294
00:16:45,510 --> 00:16:47,589
dance that didn't look
anything like dance,
295
00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:50,430
and pictures that didn't
look anything like porn!
296
00:16:51,830 --> 00:16:53,549
And then she got on her
flight, right?
297
00:16:53,550 --> 00:16:55,909
Ah...
298
00:16:55,910 --> 00:16:58,710
Tess! You're still here!
299
00:17:00,150 --> 00:17:03,309
I've changed my flight to tomorrow.
I hope you don't mind.
300
00:17:03,310 --> 00:17:07,389
I did ask Muffin Puffin when
we were out and he said it was fine. Well, he nodded.
301
00:17:07,390 --> 00:17:12,149
Sorry. I bought curry.
302
00:17:12,150 --> 00:17:13,709
Hello, sailors!
303
00:17:13,710 --> 00:17:15,789
Carol! You're still here!
304
00:17:15,790 --> 00:17:18,589
Meet Tess! Tess is still here too!
305
00:17:18,590 --> 00:17:21,949
Hi, Carol!
Oh, good news all round, then.
306
00:17:21,950 --> 00:17:26,469
Turns out the rats on the Floating
Paradise are too big to be gassed
307
00:17:26,470 --> 00:17:30,390
so we've got an extra night in port
while they send in snipers.
308
00:17:32,070 --> 00:17:34,830
So, I'm here for one more night.
309
00:17:35,950 --> 00:17:39,629
Sorry! I bought curry.
310
00:17:39,630 --> 00:17:41,349
Where's that curry? I'm starving.
311
00:17:41,350 --> 00:17:46,189
Rachel!
Rachel! You're still here!
312
00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:47,669
Sorry.
313
00:17:47,670 --> 00:17:52,189
Carol, I didn't know you were here.
Rachel! How was Moldova?
314
00:17:52,190 --> 00:17:53,629
What?
315
00:17:53,630 --> 00:17:57,549
Have you... mulled over...
what curry you would like?
316
00:17:57,550 --> 00:18:00,309
Oh, forget the curry!
317
00:18:00,310 --> 00:18:02,669
Rachel, I've got so much
to ask you about the wedding!
318
00:18:02,670 --> 00:18:04,589
What?
319
00:18:04,590 --> 00:18:07,669
How did you know? No!
320
00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:11,989
You can't ask any questions!
It... it's not allowed!
321
00:18:11,990 --> 00:18:14,709
It's against the rules!
322
00:18:14,710 --> 00:18:16,349
Rules?
323
00:18:16,350 --> 00:18:18,429
The... the rules of the game!
324
00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:21,989
The drinking game
that we're about to play!
325
00:18:21,990 --> 00:18:24,989
Oh, we can use the wine!
Yeah!
326
00:18:24,990 --> 00:18:28,429
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Do we have to play a drinking game?
327
00:18:28,430 --> 00:18:31,389
Er, rule number one! No questions.
328
00:18:31,390 --> 00:18:33,189
Ha-ha! Drink!
329
00:18:33,190 --> 00:18:35,310
Oh, what the hell! I could use
a drink.
330
00:18:38,310 --> 00:18:41,709
Oh, my gosh! We haven't
been introduced. I'm Tess. I go out with...
331
00:18:41,710 --> 00:18:44,189
Rule... rule number two!
332
00:18:44,190 --> 00:18:46,190
No names! Drink!
333
00:18:47,550 --> 00:18:49,309
Ha-ha-ha!
334
00:18:49,310 --> 00:18:52,149
So, tell me how you
got together with my...
335
00:18:52,150 --> 00:18:57,549
Rule number three!
No pointing. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
336
00:18:57,550 --> 00:18:58,630
Drink!
337
00:19:00,230 --> 00:19:02,949
Ha-ha-ha! You girls suck at
this!
338
00:19:02,950 --> 00:19:05,709
Drink! Ben... I mean, Matthew.
You pointed!
339
00:19:05,710 --> 00:19:07,909
Ah. Name! Drink!
340
00:19:07,910 --> 00:19:10,429
Am I the only one
who doesn't suck at this?
341
00:19:10,430 --> 00:19:12,109
Question! Aw!
342
00:19:12,110 --> 00:19:14,550
Drink! Drink!
343
00:19:16,750 --> 00:19:19,989
Tom. Tom.
344
00:19:19,990 --> 00:19:22,069
Shh. Shh.
345
00:19:22,070 --> 00:19:25,709
Rule number 16, no whispering.
346
00:19:25,710 --> 00:19:30,349
Tom. Has the plan worked?
Yeah. I'm hammered.
347
00:19:30,350 --> 00:19:33,709
No, the real plan. I think so.
348
00:19:33,710 --> 00:19:35,669
This drinking game has stopped us
349
00:19:35,670 --> 00:19:40,029
from having one single coherent
conversation all night.
350
00:19:40,030 --> 00:19:41,909
Thank God. Ha-ha-ha-ha!
351
00:19:41,910 --> 00:19:43,709
Come on, boys! More booze!
Ha-ha!
352
00:19:43,710 --> 00:19:46,229
Coming right up!
Whey-hey!
353
00:19:46,230 --> 00:19:49,270
This has been so much fun!
354
00:19:52,510 --> 00:19:54,789
Crying girl. Count me out.
355
00:19:54,790 --> 00:19:56,589
Oh, what's up, love?
356
00:19:56,590 --> 00:19:59,069
I'm not ready to get married!
357
00:19:59,070 --> 00:20:02,309
Now, look, love, you can't
back out now.
358
00:20:02,310 --> 00:20:05,549
You've met somebody you've formed a
really strong bond with!
359
00:20:05,550 --> 00:20:09,269
Muffin Puffin and I bonded
over our love of books.
360
00:20:09,270 --> 00:20:13,150
Have you read
The Very Hungry Caterpillar?
361
00:20:14,550 --> 00:20:15,789
Poetry.
362
00:20:15,790 --> 00:20:21,029
There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could...
363
00:20:21,030 --> 00:20:24,789
No, no, no! No, the classics.
364
00:20:24,790 --> 00:20:29,750
Ah, now you're talking!
AC/DC. Aerosmith!
365
00:20:36,790 --> 00:20:40,229
Ben! This is an emergency!
366
00:20:40,230 --> 00:20:43,309
We've ran out of booze, which means
no more drinking game,
367
00:20:43,310 --> 00:20:45,629
which means people'll
start asking us questions.
368
00:20:45,630 --> 00:20:48,709
All right, it's late and there's
no more booze. Time for bed.
369
00:20:48,710 --> 00:20:51,029
Hang on, we've still got
half a bottle here.
370
00:20:51,030 --> 00:20:54,029
Oh. Come on, before we go,
let's have a toast!
371
00:20:54,030 --> 00:20:56,070
Come on, Rachel!
372
00:20:58,070 --> 00:21:00,909
To making difficult decisions.
373
00:21:00,910 --> 00:21:03,669
To fulfilling your dreams.
374
00:21:03,670 --> 00:21:06,269
To brave new experiences.
375
00:21:06,270 --> 00:21:08,949
To trusting your heart and not
your eyes.
376
00:21:08,950 --> 00:21:11,829
To finishing what you've started.
377
00:21:11,830 --> 00:21:14,990
To banging an older lady.
378
00:21:18,350 --> 00:21:19,830
Cheers!
379
00:21:22,310 --> 00:21:25,189
Come on, ladies,
beddy-bobos time.
380
00:21:25,190 --> 00:21:27,349
I'm gonna take my contacts out.
381
00:21:27,350 --> 00:21:31,509
Oh, but I warn you, Muffin Puffin, I
can't see a thing without them,
382
00:21:31,510 --> 00:21:35,349
so I may have to feel my way!
383
00:21:35,350 --> 00:21:37,509
I'll get my jimjams on.
384
00:21:37,510 --> 00:21:41,269
Me too. Then the room's all
yours, Rachel.
385
00:21:41,270 --> 00:21:44,709
Rachel, get in there and talk
things over with your fiance.
386
00:21:44,710 --> 00:21:47,269
He'll understand. Trust me.
387
00:21:47,270 --> 00:21:49,150
OK. Thanks, Carol.
388
00:21:50,790 --> 00:21:53,429
Well, go on, Tom. Off you go.
Yeah, yeah.
389
00:21:53,430 --> 00:21:55,309
Of course.
390
00:21:55,310 --> 00:21:57,829
What are you doing?
Erm...
391
00:21:57,830 --> 00:22:00,310
I'm just walking you to your door.
392
00:22:02,270 --> 00:22:04,550
Here we are.
393
00:22:07,830 --> 00:22:11,149
Bagsie the sofa.
Ooh, a onesie!
394
00:22:11,150 --> 00:22:14,070
How's a girl supposed to get
into that?
395
00:22:15,150 --> 00:22:17,709
With her teeth? Mum!
396
00:22:17,710 --> 00:22:20,629
I'm joking, Tom.
397
00:22:20,630 --> 00:22:22,070
I'm not.
398
00:22:27,430 --> 00:22:29,829
Ew.
399
00:22:29,830 --> 00:22:31,990
Look, don't touch.
400
00:22:33,790 --> 00:22:37,109
I'm ready for my night of
passion, Don Juan!
401
00:22:37,110 --> 00:22:41,109
You've done one?
That's nothing to be proud of.
402
00:22:41,110 --> 00:22:43,029
I'll be in in a bit.
403
00:22:43,030 --> 00:22:46,590
Well, hurry up. I want our last
night together to be special.
404
00:22:48,990 --> 00:22:53,509
Matthew, either you go and
tell Tess the truth, or I will.
405
00:22:53,510 --> 00:22:56,589
OK. If I'm going to do this,
I need some Dutch courage.
406
00:22:56,590 --> 00:23:00,989
But we're out of booze. I know, but
there's Edam in the fridge.
407
00:23:00,990 --> 00:23:04,829
And with Tess out of my hair,
I have some business of my own to attend to.
408
00:23:04,830 --> 00:23:06,869
Eurgh.
409
00:23:06,870 --> 00:23:09,069
I need to freshen up first.
410
00:23:09,070 --> 00:23:11,909
Hey... hup!
411
00:23:11,910 --> 00:23:14,470
Turn the light off, mate. Ah!
412
00:23:20,590 --> 00:23:23,949
Does anybody need...
413
00:23:23,950 --> 00:23:25,510
tucking in?
414
00:23:26,750 --> 00:23:27,789
Mum!
415
00:23:27,790 --> 00:23:30,429
Tom! Why aren't you with
your fiancee?
416
00:23:30,430 --> 00:23:32,789
Now get in there! She needs you!
417
00:23:32,790 --> 00:23:35,389
OK! Good night!
418
00:23:35,390 --> 00:23:37,989
Oh, Matthew!
419
00:23:37,990 --> 00:23:40,109
Finally we are alone!
420
00:23:40,110 --> 00:23:44,509
Oh! Er... can't stop now, Carol!
There's something I have to do!
421
00:23:44,510 --> 00:23:47,629
Can't you do me first?
422
00:23:47,630 --> 00:23:50,469
Tess, listen.
423
00:23:50,470 --> 00:23:54,749
Oh. Sorry, Rachel. I needed
to get these.
424
00:23:54,750 --> 00:23:58,389
They're my... sleeping glasses!
425
00:23:58,390 --> 00:24:01,509
If I don't wear them,
I can't see my dreams!
426
00:24:01,510 --> 00:24:04,109
I just need to be by myself.
427
00:24:04,110 --> 00:24:07,790
We both need to think
about what we really want.
428
00:24:10,110 --> 00:24:12,509
Well, Tom, what do you really want?
429
00:24:12,510 --> 00:24:14,150
Er, the toilet.
430
00:24:18,390 --> 00:24:20,389
Er...
431
00:24:20,390 --> 00:24:22,950
look but don't touch.
432
00:24:26,390 --> 00:24:28,310
Carol!
433
00:24:29,350 --> 00:24:31,430
Finally...
434
00:24:33,670 --> 00:24:35,029
we're alone.
435
00:24:35,030 --> 00:24:37,190
Well, you're alone!
436
00:24:39,030 --> 00:24:40,589
Carol!
437
00:24:40,590 --> 00:24:43,069
Muffin Puffin!
438
00:24:43,070 --> 00:24:46,829
Your housemate's drunk. He
keeps saying he's not the person he thinks he is.
439
00:24:46,830 --> 00:24:49,869
Don't ever leave me again.
440
00:24:49,870 --> 00:24:53,429
It's our last chance to spend
some time face to face.
441
00:24:53,430 --> 00:24:56,469
Face to face! That's it.
442
00:24:56,470 --> 00:24:59,149
Erm... just give me a moment.
443
00:24:59,150 --> 00:25:02,390
I just need to... find myself.
444
00:25:03,790 --> 00:25:07,670
What's a girl gotta do
to get a guy around here?
445
00:25:09,710 --> 00:25:12,509
Hey, ohh! Urgh!
446
00:25:12,510 --> 00:25:14,310
Get off me, you pervert!
447
00:25:16,830 --> 00:25:20,509
It's not what you think!
I'm engaged! Sort of.
448
00:25:20,510 --> 00:25:22,550
Oh! Oh!
449
00:25:23,790 --> 00:25:25,349
Eurgh.
450
00:25:25,350 --> 00:25:28,630
Right. Are we alone now?
451
00:25:29,670 --> 00:25:32,629
Mum! Tom!
452
00:25:32,630 --> 00:25:36,669
Get in there and tell her you
love her! Yeah, OK.
453
00:25:36,670 --> 00:25:38,670
Sorry, Mum!
454
00:25:40,390 --> 00:25:43,309
Oh! Carol! What a pleasant
surprise!
455
00:25:43,310 --> 00:25:45,870
Oh!
456
00:25:48,590 --> 00:25:51,669
Where are you, Muffin Puffin?
457
00:25:51,670 --> 00:25:53,789
I'll be your muffin puffin!
458
00:25:53,790 --> 00:25:56,509
Carol! Maybe you'd like to be alone?
459
00:25:56,510 --> 00:25:58,389
Oh, I thought you'd never ask!
460
00:25:58,390 --> 00:26:01,070
Well, you can be alone in
there! Oh!
461
00:26:02,070 --> 00:26:04,189
Just piss off!
462
00:26:04,190 --> 00:26:08,270
Oh, no, Andrew,
I wasn't telling you to piss off.
463
00:26:27,230 --> 00:26:28,749
Found me!
464
00:26:28,750 --> 00:26:31,549
Ah, Matthew. Have you told
Tess yet?
465
00:26:31,550 --> 00:26:33,629
No. She'll only believe it
if it comes from you.
466
00:26:33,630 --> 00:26:35,390
Exactly.
467
00:26:36,830 --> 00:26:39,470
Muffin Puffin!
468
00:26:41,150 --> 00:26:43,070
Matthew?
469
00:26:44,310 --> 00:26:47,349
Matthew! Finally we can be alone.
470
00:26:47,350 --> 00:26:49,949
Wait! Shh. Don't say a word.
471
00:26:49,950 --> 00:26:53,669
Matthew! I'm waiting!
472
00:26:53,670 --> 00:26:57,590
Matthew? Really?
473
00:26:58,550 --> 00:27:00,590
Really...!
474
00:27:10,470 --> 00:27:12,590
Ah, forget it.
475
00:27:17,950 --> 00:27:21,150
There you are. I need a hug.
476
00:27:23,790 --> 00:27:25,709
Mm.
477
00:27:25,710 --> 00:27:28,590
Thanks, Matthew.
478
00:27:31,270 --> 00:27:34,669
Can you give me some
brotherly advice?
479
00:27:34,670 --> 00:27:37,469
Yes.
480
00:27:37,470 --> 00:27:40,669
Do you think I should marry Andrew?
481
00:27:40,670 --> 00:27:43,229
No.
482
00:27:43,230 --> 00:27:46,509
So, you think we should break up?
483
00:27:46,510 --> 00:27:49,029
Erm...
484
00:27:49,030 --> 00:27:52,069
Because, the thing is...
485
00:27:52,070 --> 00:27:54,430
he just makes me so happy.
486
00:27:56,630 --> 00:27:58,830
Well, that's all that matters
to me...
487
00:27:59,950 --> 00:28:03,189
to see you with someone
who makes you happy.
488
00:28:03,190 --> 00:28:06,190
So, we should stay together, then?
489
00:28:09,550 --> 00:28:11,509
Yes.
490
00:28:11,510 --> 00:28:13,749
Oh...!
491
00:28:13,750 --> 00:28:15,910
Thanks, Matthew.
492
00:28:21,270 --> 00:28:25,469
Hang on. Did you just smell my hair?
493
00:28:25,470 --> 00:28:27,749
And what's up with your voice?
494
00:28:27,750 --> 00:28:30,669
Oh! What is going on?
495
00:28:30,670 --> 00:28:33,269
Oh! What's going on?
496
00:28:33,270 --> 00:28:36,909
Tess! I can explain!
497
00:28:36,910 --> 00:28:39,430
Carol! I can explain!
498
00:28:42,630 --> 00:28:45,870
Oh! Matthew!
499
00:28:50,750 --> 00:28:52,190
Matthew?
500
00:28:53,270 --> 00:28:55,110
Matthew?
501
00:28:59,070 --> 00:29:01,230
Oh!
502
00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:05,830
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