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1
00:01:04,465 --> 00:01:06,276
Grady!
2
00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:09,312
Grady? Grady.
3
00:01:09,336 --> 00:01:10,747
Oh. Hey.
4
00:01:10,771 --> 00:01:12,682
Good goobully-woo,
what happened to you?
5
00:01:12,706 --> 00:01:16,053
Well, I fell off the
back of the truck.
6
00:01:16,077 --> 00:01:18,321
Well, how did you do
a dumb thing like that?
7
00:01:18,345 --> 00:01:20,057
Well, the tailgate on
the truck is broken,
8
00:01:20,081 --> 00:01:21,425
and I fell off.
9
00:01:21,449 --> 00:01:25,529
Well, it's a good thing you
didn't break your tailgate.
10
00:01:25,553 --> 00:01:27,497
Look, I don't want
to talk about it,
11
00:01:27,521 --> 00:01:29,499
and why don't you slow down
12
00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:31,168
before you wear yourself out?
13
00:01:31,192 --> 00:01:32,735
Oh, I'm not going
to wear myself out.
14
00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:33,919
My tailgate is fastened...
15
00:01:37,198 --> 00:01:38,241
and besides,
16
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:40,177
I've got to get this
house cleaned.
17
00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:42,645
With your father
still away in St. Louis,
18
00:01:42,669 --> 00:01:45,815
I have to take charge
of things just like he said,
19
00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:48,940
and he said, "Grady,
keep it clean..."
20
00:01:51,412 --> 00:01:53,845
and I've got to get it clean
before I can keep it clean...
21
00:01:56,217 --> 00:01:59,028
and anyway, why don't
you go in the kitchen
22
00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:00,763
and eat the lunch
that I fixed for you?
23
00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:02,566
Hey, you fixed me lunch?
24
00:02:02,590 --> 00:02:04,767
Well, sure I did.
25
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:07,770
Fred put me in charge,
and one of the things he said
26
00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:09,706
was, "Be sure and
fix Lamont lunch
27
00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:11,441
"whatever you do.
28
00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:15,212
He's my one and only son,
so be sure and fix him lunch."
29
00:02:15,236 --> 00:02:17,013
Did Pop really say that?
30
00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:18,748
Well, actually, what he said
31
00:02:18,772 --> 00:02:22,007
was, "Fix the dummy his
lunch, or he'll get mad."
32
00:02:26,013 --> 00:02:28,291
It's in the refrigerator.
33
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:33,296
It's peanut butter and
sardine on Jewish rye...
34
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,798
with a touch of mayonnaise.
35
00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:37,434
Do you think you can handle
36
00:02:37,458 --> 00:02:40,737
peanut butter and sardine
on Jewish rye with mayonnaise
37
00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:42,805
with that one arm?
38
00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:44,674
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
39
00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:45,698
All right.
40
00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:49,179
All right.
41
00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:58,655
Oh, hi there, um, um... Esther.
42
00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:00,557
Yeah.
43
00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:02,359
Is Fred still in St. Louis?
44
00:03:02,383 --> 00:03:04,027
Yeah, Fred's still in St. Louis.
45
00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:06,818
Good. I'll say a prayer
for the state of Missouri.
46
00:03:11,158 --> 00:03:12,469
Yeah.
47
00:03:12,493 --> 00:03:14,326
Well, what can I
do for you, Chester?
48
00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:20,009
Esther.
49
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:21,478
Oh, yeah.
50
00:03:21,502 --> 00:03:23,146
What can I do for you?
51
00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:24,648
Well, with Fred gone,
52
00:03:24,672 --> 00:03:26,416
I'd like to bring my
Bible group over here
53
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:27,517
for a meeting.
54
00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:31,488
Well, why do you want
to bring them over here?
55
00:03:31,512 --> 00:03:33,456
I have to.
56
00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:35,992
Our usually meeting
place has been condemned.
57
00:03:36,016 --> 00:03:37,827
Oh, gee whiz.
58
00:03:37,851 --> 00:03:39,329
I'm sorry to hear that.
59
00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:42,332
Yes, we all were,
especially Sister Hannah.
60
00:03:42,356 --> 00:03:44,436
She was the one who
fell through the floor.
61
00:03:46,159 --> 00:03:48,705
Fell through the
floor? Uh, uh, uh.
62
00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:51,196
I sure hope she
wasn't hurt too bad.
63
00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:54,511
No. She busted her hip.
64
00:03:54,535 --> 00:03:56,668
Lucky for her, she's
got a lot of hip...
65
00:03:59,139 --> 00:04:01,379
but the poor thing is
walking crooked, like this.
66
00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:07,624
Uh, uh, uh.
67
00:04:07,648 --> 00:04:10,159
So that's why this
place will be just fine,
68
00:04:10,183 --> 00:04:12,795
since that heathenish
Fred isn't here.
69
00:04:12,819 --> 00:04:15,398
Oh. Well, you see,
70
00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:17,601
I'm afraid you can't have
your Bible meetings here.
71
00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:19,736
What? Why not?
72
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:22,772
Well, when Fred left,
he put me in charge,
73
00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:24,974
and he said if you
were to come over here
74
00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:27,076
asking about having
a Bible meeting,
75
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,811
that I was to say "no,"
76
00:04:28,835 --> 00:04:29,979
so I'm saying "no."
77
00:04:30,003 --> 00:04:31,370
Look, sucker...
78
00:04:36,176 --> 00:04:38,888
the Lord sent this
heavenly opportunity
79
00:04:38,912 --> 00:04:41,691
to put some holiness
into this house.
80
00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:44,227
That's why he sent
Fred to St. Louis,
81
00:04:44,251 --> 00:04:49,366
and the Lord is telling me
to get the show on the road.
82
00:04:49,390 --> 00:04:51,668
Well, I don't know
what the Lord said,
83
00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:55,071
but Fred said "no
Bible meetings,"
84
00:04:55,095 --> 00:05:00,644
and since I'm in charge, I'm
saying "no Bible meetings."
85
00:05:00,668 --> 00:05:02,579
You know what you're doing?
86
00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:04,281
You're doing the devil's work
87
00:05:04,305 --> 00:05:07,317
and interfering
with God's mission.
88
00:05:07,341 --> 00:05:10,687
You are just like
that heathen Fred.
89
00:05:10,711 --> 00:05:12,822
You are unholy sinner
90
00:05:12,846 --> 00:05:15,681
and a heathenish,
foul Philistine.
91
00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:21,030
Sticks and stones
can break my bones,
92
00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:23,433
but names will never hurt me.
93
00:05:23,457 --> 00:05:27,270
Okay, I'll get some
sticks and stones
94
00:05:27,294 --> 00:05:30,139
and break your bones,
95
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,641
and the name that'll hurt you
96
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:33,064
will be Esther.
97
00:05:39,105 --> 00:05:41,384
I don't like to strike a woman,
98
00:05:41,408 --> 00:05:45,322
but if I'm forced to
defend myself, I will,
99
00:05:45,346 --> 00:05:47,746
and let the chips
fall where they may.
100
00:05:49,916 --> 00:05:52,784
And some of them
chips may cross your lips.
101
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,500
Now, wait a minute.
102
00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:59,336
Aunt Esther, Grady, stop it!
103
00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:00,870
Stop it.
104
00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:03,440
Now, what's going on in here?
105
00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:04,841
This old fool
106
00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:07,610
won't let me have
my Bible meeting here.
107
00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:08,945
That's what happens
108
00:06:08,969 --> 00:06:11,948
when you replace
a fool with a fool.
109
00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:13,783
Sticks and stones
can break my bones...
110
00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:15,585
Oh, shut up, you old fool,
111
00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:17,053
before I put my foot in your...
112
00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:19,789
Aunt Esther!
113
00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:21,624
Now, wait a minute, Aunt Esther.
114
00:06:21,648 --> 00:06:24,361
I ain't waiting on nothing.
115
00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:27,263
"There is no peace,"
sayeth the Lord,
116
00:06:27,287 --> 00:06:29,031
"unto the wicked,"
117
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:31,934
and this is the wickedest
house that ever was,
118
00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:33,803
and I ain't never coming back
119
00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:35,972
into this heathenish
house again.
120
00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:38,241
Oh, glory Hallelujah!
121
00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:39,976
All praise his holy name.
122
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,366
Oh, thank Jesus.
123
00:06:48,341 --> 00:06:49,986
Hey, Grady, what
are you doing, man?
124
00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:51,153
Esther's my favorite aunt,
125
00:06:51,177 --> 00:06:52,756
and she can have
a Bible meeting here
126
00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:54,123
if she wants to.
127
00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:57,660
Oh, no, she can't. Bible
meetings are a no-no.
128
00:06:57,684 --> 00:06:58,661
Says who?
129
00:06:58,685 --> 00:07:00,997
Your father said so,
130
00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:03,933
and your father
left me in charge.
131
00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:05,101
Grady, you know,
132
00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:06,703
I think you're beginning
to take your duties
133
00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:07,837
a little too seriously, man.
134
00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:09,272
I guess next
you'll be telling me
135
00:07:09,296 --> 00:07:10,740
that I can't have no company?
136
00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:12,241
Well, that depends
137
00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:14,705
on what kind of company
we're talking about.
138
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:19,115
Well, it just so happens
that Rollo and I have invited
139
00:07:19,139 --> 00:07:20,884
a couple of young
ladies over here,
140
00:07:20,908 --> 00:07:22,919
and we're going to
have a party tonight.
141
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:25,054
With a broken arm?
142
00:07:25,078 --> 00:07:28,291
Grady, when you've
got it, you've got it,
143
00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:29,681
one arm or two.
144
00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:35,965
Well, that too is a no-no.
145
00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:41,838
No Bible meetings
and no org-gees...
146
00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:43,227
one arm or two.
147
00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:46,375
Hey, look, man,
148
00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:48,578
you can't tell me what
to do in my own house.
149
00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:51,247
I gave a solemn
oath to your father
150
00:07:51,271 --> 00:07:54,116
to protect this house, and I vow
151
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:56,953
to take care of it with
my life, if necessary.
152
00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:59,422
I'll show you what
I'm going to do.
153
00:07:59,446 --> 00:08:00,890
You think I'm
kidding around here,
154
00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:03,993
but I'm very serious
about taking care of things.
155
00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:05,895
Well, what are you...
156
00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:07,630
what are you doing with a rifle?
157
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:10,066
I'm going to protect my
best friend's property.
158
00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:11,330
That's what I'm doing with it.
159
00:08:12,593 --> 00:08:15,371
With an empty rifle?
160
00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:19,108
Does that look like, a
styptic pencil to you?
161
00:08:19,132 --> 00:08:20,777
Hey, Grady, put that thing away
162
00:08:20,801 --> 00:08:22,345
before somebody gets hurt.
163
00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:24,180
I just want my friend to know
164
00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:28,751
that the man he left behind
is in complete control.
165
00:08:28,775 --> 00:08:30,787
Yeah, well, if you
sit down too hard
166
00:08:30,811 --> 00:08:32,655
with that bullet in your pocket,
167
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,547
the man he left
won't have a behind.
168
00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:41,531
And I just want you to
know that I'm in charge here,
169
00:08:41,555 --> 00:08:43,032
which means...
170
00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:45,568
No Bible meetings
and no org-gees.
171
00:08:45,592 --> 00:08:46,958
I know.
172
00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:51,140
Shh!
173
00:08:51,164 --> 00:08:52,675
Just keep it down. Shh.
174
00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:55,311
Just be quiet.
175
00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:57,213
Well, what's the matter,
is somebody sick?
176
00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:58,214
Yeah.
177
00:08:58,238 --> 00:08:59,716
You can't tell no
chicks like this
178
00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:01,384
to be quiet and hold it down.
179
00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:03,185
I mean, it's
against their nature.
180
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:04,387
I mean, these are two live wires
181
00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:05,454
with no insulation.
182
00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:07,089
But look, man, I
already told you,
183
00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:08,758
there's an old dude
staying in there
184
00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:10,259
that's a friend of my old man's,
185
00:09:10,283 --> 00:09:12,762
and he thinks he's Napoleon.
186
00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:14,831
Now, see, he's
upstairs asleep now.
187
00:09:14,855 --> 00:09:18,467
Everything'll be everything
as long as we be quiet.
188
00:09:18,491 --> 00:09:19,858
Shh...
189
00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:25,909
What's the matter?
190
00:09:25,933 --> 00:09:27,577
That old fool done
locked the door,
191
00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:29,979
and I ain't got no key.
192
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:31,648
It ain't no big thing.
What are we gonna do?
193
00:09:31,672 --> 00:09:33,149
There's a window by the landing
194
00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:34,483
that's always open, see,
195
00:09:34,507 --> 00:09:36,285
and I crawl through
there and let us in.
196
00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:37,486
You want me to do it?
197
00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:39,622
You know I'm good at that.
198
00:09:39,646 --> 00:09:40,623
No, Rollo.
199
00:09:40,647 --> 00:09:42,291
You stay here and
look after the women.
200
00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:44,093
Well, can you handle
it with that one arm?
201
00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:45,294
Hey, bro, I've got it.
202
00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:46,629
Right on, dude.
203
00:09:46,653 --> 00:09:48,130
That dude is more
weird than you.
204
00:09:48,154 --> 00:09:50,554
Yeah. He sure is a weird one.
205
00:09:58,665 --> 00:10:00,632
Halt!
206
00:10:06,506 --> 00:10:08,417
Put your hands
up, or I'll shoot.
207
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:11,187
Don't shoot. Don't
shoot. It's me, Grady.
208
00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:13,678
Your name ain't
Grady. That's my name.
209
00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:17,627
It's me, Lamont.
210
00:10:17,651 --> 00:10:19,662
Prove it.
211
00:10:19,686 --> 00:10:21,163
What do you mean, prove it?
212
00:10:21,187 --> 00:10:23,299
Can't you tell by the
sound of my voice?
213
00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:25,401
You can disguise your voice.
214
00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:27,103
Burglars do that, you know.
215
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:28,771
What's your father's name?
216
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:32,341
Grady... That's not
your father's name.
217
00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:34,010
What's your father's name?
218
00:10:34,034 --> 00:10:36,512
His name is Fred, all right?
219
00:10:36,536 --> 00:10:38,014
Now, I'm going
to turn on the light
220
00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:39,158
so you can see who it is.
221
00:10:42,275 --> 00:10:46,355
Oh yeah... you are Lamont.
222
00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:48,891
Grady, not only did you
lock me out of my own house,
223
00:10:48,915 --> 00:10:50,126
but you almost shot me.
224
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,361
Man, you're crazy.
You know that?
225
00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:54,130
They ought to call
you Crazy Grady.
226
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:55,131
Now, look here.
227
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:56,633
Why don't you go on upstairs
228
00:10:56,657 --> 00:10:58,300
and go back to
bed and stay there?
229
00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:00,269
Oh, I'm not sleepy.
230
00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:03,028
I think I'm going to
look at a little television.
231
00:11:05,431 --> 00:11:07,243
Hey, Grady, you
can't be serious, man.
232
00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:09,178
You don't want to
watch no television now.
233
00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:11,580
I'm going to watch
Louise Beavers
234
00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:13,415
on the late-late show.
235
00:11:13,439 --> 00:11:15,151
Would you like to join me?
236
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,586
Every time I try
to do something,
237
00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:20,089
you know, you always
mess up everything.
238
00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:22,091
Man, you're ridiculous.
239
00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:23,325
Hey, what happened, man?
240
00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:24,861
What's going on in there?
241
00:11:24,885 --> 00:11:26,663
That old fool woke
up and almost shot me.
242
00:11:26,687 --> 00:11:27,830
What?
243
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:29,032
Hey, look here, brother.
244
00:11:29,056 --> 00:11:30,432
Why don't we go to your crib?
245
00:11:30,456 --> 00:11:32,368
No, man. I told you
that place is too small.
246
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:33,502
Let's go, hon.
247
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:35,171
Tomorrow night?
248
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:36,305
Hey, Rollo,
249
00:11:36,329 --> 00:11:37,707
let's make it a definite
for tomorrow night, bro.
250
00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:39,876
I'm sure I can get the
crib tomorrow night.
251
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:41,844
So, what're you going to
do, poison your babysitter?
252
00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:43,445
No, man. I'm
going to go in there,
253
00:11:43,469 --> 00:11:45,614
and I'm going to
have it out with Grady.
254
00:11:45,638 --> 00:11:47,083
He can't get
away with this stuff
255
00:11:47,107 --> 00:11:48,117
in my house.
256
00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:50,519
Hey, when it's on you,
partner. Good luck.
257
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:52,188
Hey, girls, wait for me!
258
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,079
I'll take you home on the bus.
259
00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,896
Grady...
260
00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:01,831
Grady, take the
chain off this door
261
00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:04,767
and open up right now.
262
00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:06,302
Put your hands up or I'll shoot,
263
00:12:06,326 --> 00:12:08,526
whoever you are.
264
00:12:19,305 --> 00:12:22,752
Hey, Grady. How's everything?
265
00:12:22,776 --> 00:12:24,987
Oh, hi.
266
00:12:25,011 --> 00:12:25,988
How's your arm?
267
00:12:26,012 --> 00:12:27,256
Oh, it's fine.
268
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:28,657
Yeah, where have
you been all day?
269
00:12:28,681 --> 00:12:30,559
I didn't hear you
leave this morning.
270
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:32,661
You're not mad at me, are you?
271
00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:34,230
Mad? Why should I be mad?
272
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:36,766
Oh, I thought you
were mad last night
273
00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:38,467
when you locked
yourself in your room
274
00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:41,037
and I heard that
pounding on the wall.
275
00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:43,272
You weren't doing that
with your head, were you?
276
00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:45,474
No, Grady.
277
00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:46,542
I must admit, though,
278
00:12:46,566 --> 00:12:48,410
I was a little put
out last night.
279
00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:51,114
Oh, and then I heard you
280
00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:53,382
slamming things in the bathroom.
281
00:12:53,406 --> 00:12:56,619
You cracked the
toilet seat, you know.
282
00:12:56,643 --> 00:12:58,721
And all with one arm.
283
00:12:58,745 --> 00:13:00,322
Yeah, I know, Grady.
284
00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:02,125
Like I said, I was
a little put out.
285
00:13:02,149 --> 00:13:03,359
Yeah, well, I was just doing
286
00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:05,027
what I promised
your father I would do
287
00:13:05,051 --> 00:13:06,295
while he was away.
288
00:13:06,319 --> 00:13:08,731
Hey, I... I realize that, Grady,
289
00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:10,933
and I was mad last night,
but now I'm fine, man,
290
00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:12,034
and you know what else?
291
00:13:12,058 --> 00:13:13,435
No, what?
292
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:15,972
Well, I did what I do
whenever Pop and I
293
00:13:15,996 --> 00:13:17,940
have a little misunderstanding.
294
00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:19,175
Oh, yeah? What's that?
295
00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:20,843
Well, whenever we
have an argument,
296
00:13:20,867 --> 00:13:22,245
the next day, we both go out
297
00:13:22,269 --> 00:13:24,147
and do something
nice for each other.
298
00:13:24,171 --> 00:13:25,148
You do?
299
00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:26,482
Yeah, and being as that...
300
00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:28,684
Well, you, you know,
sort of filling in for my pop,
301
00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:30,653
I figure I'd extend that
same courtesy to you,
302
00:13:30,677 --> 00:13:31,921
so I went out
303
00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:33,865
and I did something
nice for you.
304
00:13:37,818 --> 00:13:40,763
You did something...
nice... for me?
305
00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:44,834
Oh, what are you doing, Grady?
306
00:13:44,858 --> 00:13:46,102
I can't help it.
307
00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:50,673
Just the thought of you
doing something nice for me,
308
00:13:50,697 --> 00:13:54,277
and I didn't do
anything nice for you...
309
00:13:54,301 --> 00:13:56,578
Stop, Grady, don't do that.
You did something nice for me.
310
00:13:56,602 --> 00:13:57,880
I did?
311
00:13:57,904 --> 00:14:00,416
Sure, you're doing it right
now. You set the table.
312
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:01,617
Is that nice?
313
00:14:01,641 --> 00:14:02,819
Of course that's nice.
314
00:14:02,843 --> 00:14:04,520
That means that you
cooked me supper.
315
00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:05,922
Oh...
316
00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:10,026
Well, I promised your father
that I would fix supper for you.
317
00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:12,962
He told me that you
were his one and only son.
318
00:14:12,986 --> 00:14:15,097
I know that, Grady,
Grady, I know that,
319
00:14:15,121 --> 00:14:16,833
and I appreciate it, too, man,
320
00:14:16,857 --> 00:14:18,034
and there's
nothing I like better
321
00:14:18,058 --> 00:14:20,136
than coming home
to a nice hot supper,
322
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:21,971
so, you see, you did
something for me nice
323
00:14:21,995 --> 00:14:22,972
after all.
324
00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:24,606
Well, I hope you'll like it.
325
00:14:24,630 --> 00:14:25,842
I'll love it. What is it?
326
00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:30,213
It's... codfish cakes and okra.
327
00:14:30,237 --> 00:14:31,714
Well, it smells
delicious, Grady,
328
00:14:31,738 --> 00:14:33,916
but... I'm not hungry right now.
329
00:14:33,940 --> 00:14:34,984
I'll eat it later.
330
00:14:35,008 --> 00:14:37,320
Oh... Yeah, you
can eat it later.
331
00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:39,588
You can eat okra
when it gets cold.
332
00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:42,658
It's not as slimy then.
333
00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:43,960
Yeah, that was
334
00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:45,794
a real nice thing you
did for me, Grady.
335
00:14:45,818 --> 00:14:49,131
Now, would you like to know
the nice thing I did for you?
336
00:14:49,155 --> 00:14:52,735
You did something...
337
00:14:52,759 --> 00:14:54,036
Please, don't do that, Grady.
338
00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:56,405
You're going to blow
something out of your head
339
00:14:56,429 --> 00:14:58,396
that you need.
340
00:15:02,969 --> 00:15:05,547
Yeah, okay.
341
00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:08,084
Now, what's the nice
thing you did for me?
342
00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:09,218
Okay, you ready?
343
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,686
Now, I had to
pull a few strings,
344
00:15:10,710 --> 00:15:12,288
and I had to pay a little money,
345
00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:13,923
but I got it for you.
346
00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:14,924
What is it?
347
00:15:14,948 --> 00:15:16,926
Grady, I've got you a ticket
348
00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:21,297
to that new skin flick down at
the Yellow Pussycat Theater.
349
00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:22,531
The marquee said
350
00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:24,934
that the movie's
red-hot and sizzling.
351
00:15:24,958 --> 00:15:26,168
Oh, wow!
352
00:15:26,192 --> 00:15:29,538
There you go.
353
00:15:29,562 --> 00:15:30,839
What's it about?
354
00:15:30,863 --> 00:15:35,378
Well, the name of the
movie is Deep Threat,
355
00:15:35,402 --> 00:15:38,114
and it's about this group
of underground invaders
356
00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:40,816
that tunnel their way into
this peaceful nudist camp
357
00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:42,318
and threaten them.
358
00:15:42,342 --> 00:15:43,319
Go ahead.
359
00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:47,290
Yeah, okay. See you. Wow!
360
00:15:47,314 --> 00:15:48,324
Say...
361
00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:51,193
Say, do they actually
go in a nudist colony
362
00:15:51,217 --> 00:15:53,495
and do all... Everything, Grady.
363
00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:56,132
You see everybody
and everything.
364
00:15:56,156 --> 00:15:57,800
Now, go ahead
and enjoy yourself.
365
00:15:57,824 --> 00:15:58,801
Yeah.
366
00:15:58,825 --> 00:16:02,405
Oh...
367
00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:04,040
Now, you have fun
at that movie, man.
368
00:16:04,064 --> 00:16:05,408
Yeah, I'm sure I will.
369
00:16:05,432 --> 00:16:07,076
Say, say, look, you sure
370
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,477
you don't want me to stay here
371
00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:09,645
and serve supper for you?
372
00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:10,746
I mean, I promised your...
373
00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:14,150
Oh, no, Grady,
look, because I... I...
374
00:16:14,174 --> 00:16:15,251
I feel tired.
375
00:16:15,275 --> 00:16:16,685
I'm going to turn
in early anyway,
376
00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:18,955
so you just go and have
a nice time, you hear?
377
00:16:18,979 --> 00:16:22,858
Okay. Yeah.
378
00:16:22,882 --> 00:16:23,960
Say, what did you say
379
00:16:23,984 --> 00:16:25,527
the name of that movie was?
380
00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:27,196
Uh, Deep Threat.
381
00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:28,497
Well, who's in it?
382
00:16:28,521 --> 00:16:29,832
Well, I'm not exactly sure, see,
383
00:16:29,856 --> 00:16:32,668
because it's a Japanese
movie, but I think
384
00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:36,138
the leading lady's name
is Linda Love-a-sato,
385
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:37,506
and look here,
you'd better hurry up
386
00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:38,674
before you miss the opening,
387
00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:40,309
because you don't
want to miss the opening.
388
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:43,868
In the opening, Linda...
389
00:16:51,077 --> 00:16:52,254
Say, thanks
390
00:16:52,278 --> 00:16:54,256
for the nice thing
you did for me.
391
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,758
I... I know that
codfish cakes and okra
392
00:16:56,782 --> 00:16:59,061
is not as nice as a nudie movie,
393
00:16:59,085 --> 00:17:00,229
but I tried.
394
00:17:00,253 --> 00:17:02,064
Hey, you certainly did, Grady,
395
00:17:02,088 --> 00:17:03,265
and I appreciate it, partner.
396
00:17:03,289 --> 00:17:05,267
You just go ahead and
have fun at that movie.
397
00:17:05,291 --> 00:17:06,268
Yeah, okay.
398
00:17:06,292 --> 00:17:07,603
All right. Bye, now.
399
00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:09,238
Yeah, take care
of that arm... I will.
400
00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:10,239
And lock the door.
401
00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:11,440
Okay, you have fun, you hear?
402
00:17:11,464 --> 00:17:13,009
All right. All right.
403
00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:15,333
Okay, brother.
404
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:21,950
What it is? What it is?
405
00:17:21,974 --> 00:17:23,219
What happened?
406
00:17:23,243 --> 00:17:24,487
I did it. It worked.
407
00:17:26,179 --> 00:17:28,557
Grady's out, and love is in.
408
00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:29,581
Let's get it on.
409
00:17:38,925 --> 00:17:41,137
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
wait a minute, wait a minute.
410
00:17:41,161 --> 00:17:42,838
Turn this thing off.
411
00:17:42,862 --> 00:17:44,440
Hey, man, how long
have we got, man?
412
00:17:44,464 --> 00:17:46,242
I mean, how long
is it going to be
413
00:17:46,266 --> 00:17:48,310
before that old dude shows
back from the skin flick?
414
00:17:48,334 --> 00:17:50,913
Hey, Rollo, that's one old
dude we ain't going to have
415
00:17:50,937 --> 00:17:52,048
to worry about this evening.
416
00:17:52,072 --> 00:17:53,916
He's coming back
here as soon as it's over.
417
00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:55,518
He's coming back,
but he ain't getting in.
418
00:17:55,542 --> 00:17:59,288
I changed the lock on the
door, and he don't have no key.
419
00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:01,757
My man, you are a genius...
420
00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:04,026
Relatively speaking.
421
00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:06,362
Who is that?
422
00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:08,830
I don't know.
423
00:18:08,854 --> 00:18:10,066
Who is it?
424
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:11,667
It's me, Grady.
425
00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:13,169
Oh, man, I told you.
426
00:18:13,193 --> 00:18:14,170
Who?
427
00:18:14,194 --> 00:18:15,304
Grady.
428
00:18:15,328 --> 00:18:16,505
Prove it.
429
00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:19,542
What do you mean,
prove it? It's me, Grady.
430
00:18:19,566 --> 00:18:22,545
I heard you halfway
down the block.
431
00:18:22,569 --> 00:18:25,347
I'm going to call your
father in St. Louis
432
00:18:25,371 --> 00:18:28,684
and tell him you're
having an org-gee.
433
00:18:28,708 --> 00:18:32,154
Orgy. Good night, Grady.
434
00:18:32,178 --> 00:18:33,622
Yeah, good night, Grady.
435
00:18:33,646 --> 00:18:34,678
Good night, Grady.
436
00:18:37,083 --> 00:18:38,594
Yeah, mm-hmm.
437
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:39,728
He's gone.
438
00:18:39,752 --> 00:18:41,964
Hey, my man, you really did it.
439
00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:44,266
Hey, man, a man's
home is his castle,
440
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:45,334
and now,
441
00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:47,725
I am ready to
wrestle in my castle.
442
00:18:50,696 --> 00:18:52,741
Hold it!
443
00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:55,344
Come on, ladies,
don't be so slow.
444
00:18:55,368 --> 00:18:57,502
Come on.
445
00:18:59,872 --> 00:19:01,650
Just what made you
change your mind
446
00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:02,884
about letting us
hold our meeting
447
00:19:02,908 --> 00:19:04,320
in Fred's house?
448
00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:08,056
Well, you see, I was
watching Reverend Ike
449
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:12,027
on television
tonight, and he said,
450
00:19:12,051 --> 00:19:13,596
"Is your house free from sin?"
451
00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:17,500
And I said, "Hell, no."
452
00:19:17,524 --> 00:19:22,371
So I rushed right
over there to get you.
453
00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:25,874
Good. We can fill it
with enough holiness
454
00:19:25,898 --> 00:19:27,510
that it might even
rub off on Fred
455
00:19:27,534 --> 00:19:28,577
when he gets back.
456
00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:30,346
Praise the Lord!
457
00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:31,980
Yeah, yeah. Praise
his holy name.
458
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:35,184
Now, y'all just hang on
here, and I'll open the door
459
00:19:35,208 --> 00:19:38,154
and we'll have a real
crackerjack Bible meeting.
460
00:19:38,178 --> 00:19:42,291
Indeed. Yes, sir.
461
00:19:42,315 --> 00:19:43,292
I forgot my key.
462
00:19:43,316 --> 00:19:45,794
Look, sucker, find
a way to get in there.
463
00:19:45,818 --> 00:19:47,696
We ain't holding
no Bible meeting
464
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,765
in a junkyard.
465
00:19:49,789 --> 00:19:51,800
What do you think
we are, pagans?
466
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:53,669
No, we going to
have our Bible meeting
467
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,171
in Fred's living room.
468
00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:56,672
Okay, all right.
Now, just hold...
469
00:19:56,696 --> 00:20:00,108
There's a window around
there on the landing
470
00:20:00,132 --> 00:20:01,143
that's not locked.
471
00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:03,111
Climb up there
and shinny through
472
00:20:03,135 --> 00:20:04,780
and open the door.
473
00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:07,483
Oh, well, you
see, I can't do that,
474
00:20:07,507 --> 00:20:09,451
because I got this "kiatica,"
475
00:20:09,475 --> 00:20:12,421
and I can't bend over,
476
00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:14,223
so maybe you
ought to go and do it.
477
00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:17,459
You want me to climb
through a window?
478
00:20:17,483 --> 00:20:19,361
Well, yeah...
479
00:20:19,385 --> 00:20:21,363
We got to get in there
some kind of way,
480
00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:23,165
and you're the only
one that can do it.
481
00:20:23,189 --> 00:20:24,567
Now, come on.
I'll hold the ladder
482
00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:25,967
while you climb through.
483
00:20:25,991 --> 00:20:27,503
Oh, no, you don't.
484
00:20:27,527 --> 00:20:29,572
Ain't no man that
I'm not married to
485
00:20:29,596 --> 00:20:32,541
going to be holding no
ladder that I'll be climbing up.
486
00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:34,410
She's telling you right.
487
00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:36,278
No, don't do it.
488
00:20:36,302 --> 00:20:37,713
Well, I won't peek.
489
00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:39,415
I know you ain't going to peek,
490
00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:40,849
because if I thought you was,
491
00:20:40,873 --> 00:20:43,719
I'd bust your eyeballs.
492
00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:46,021
Okay, that's all right.
493
00:20:46,045 --> 00:20:49,091
I'll just wait right
over here by the truck,
494
00:20:49,115 --> 00:20:51,493
and you go around there
and just take care of things.
495
00:20:51,517 --> 00:20:53,229
Watch him, ladies.
496
00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:56,298
If he sneaks around back to
watch me go up that ladder,
497
00:20:56,322 --> 00:20:58,500
twist his head
until it unscrews.
498
00:20:58,524 --> 00:21:00,591
We sure will.
499
00:21:03,963 --> 00:21:05,630
Uh-uh...
500
00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:27,996
Hey, man, who
turned on them lights?
501
00:21:28,020 --> 00:21:29,498
What's happening?
502
00:21:29,522 --> 00:21:32,768
Shame, shame, shame.
503
00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:35,971
Aunt Esther.
504
00:21:35,995 --> 00:21:37,773
How did you get in here?
505
00:21:37,797 --> 00:21:40,743
Sodom and Gomorrah,
506
00:21:40,767 --> 00:21:44,179
this house corrupted
even my favorite nephew
507
00:21:44,203 --> 00:21:47,783
and broke his arm, Jesus.
508
00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:50,152
Lamont, I'm ashamed of you.
509
00:21:50,176 --> 00:21:53,322
That old fool, Grady, was right.
510
00:21:53,346 --> 00:21:55,991
Such wickedness I've
never seen in my life.
511
00:21:56,015 --> 00:21:58,527
Aunt Esther, all we was
doing was having a little fun,
512
00:21:58,551 --> 00:22:00,529
a little party.
513
00:22:00,553 --> 00:22:02,264
A little party?
514
00:22:02,288 --> 00:22:04,032
With these two Jezebels?
515
00:22:04,056 --> 00:22:06,335
I ain't no Jezebel!
516
00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:08,036
Ain't that Rita
Lawson's boy, Rollo?
517
00:22:08,060 --> 00:22:09,794
Yes, ma'am.
518
00:22:15,601 --> 00:22:17,780
You ought to be
ashamed of yourself.
519
00:22:17,804 --> 00:22:19,615
Out! Out! Everybody, out!
520
00:22:19,639 --> 00:22:21,249
Wait a minute, Aunt
Esther. We was just...
521
00:22:21,273 --> 00:22:23,251
Why you going to...
522
00:22:23,275 --> 00:22:25,020
All of you should be
in a vocational school
523
00:22:25,044 --> 00:22:27,556
learning a trade.
524
00:22:27,580 --> 00:22:29,991
Soldiers, it's time
to save the sinners!
525
00:22:30,015 --> 00:22:31,259
Wait a minute, Aunt Esther...
526
00:22:32,952 --> 00:22:35,419
Hallelujah! Oh! Oh!
527
00:22:46,733 --> 00:22:49,633
Woo, Jesus! Oh, save them, Lord!
528
00:22:59,078 --> 00:23:01,790
Grady Wilson!
529
00:23:01,814 --> 00:23:03,792
Grady Wilson, you come
down here right now!
530
00:23:03,816 --> 00:23:06,595
Now, you have spoiled
my evening for the last time!
531
00:23:06,619 --> 00:23:09,297
Now, you get down
here right now!
532
00:23:09,321 --> 00:23:12,222
Put your hands up or I'll shoot.
533
00:23:23,168 --> 00:23:24,613
Oh, hi, Lamont.
534
00:23:24,637 --> 00:23:25,814
Hi.
535
00:23:25,838 --> 00:23:28,316
You still mad at me?
536
00:23:28,340 --> 00:23:29,317
Never mind.
537
00:23:29,341 --> 00:23:33,288
Oh, you are. I can tell.
538
00:23:33,312 --> 00:23:37,225
Are you mad enough to do
something nice for me again?
539
00:23:37,249 --> 00:23:38,727
No.
540
00:23:38,751 --> 00:23:41,329
Well, you know, I was only
doing what I promised your father
541
00:23:41,353 --> 00:23:43,298
that I would do while he's away.
542
00:23:43,322 --> 00:23:44,500
Yeah, you didn't
promise my father
543
00:23:44,524 --> 00:23:45,701
that you'd go
waving and pointing
544
00:23:45,725 --> 00:23:47,002
that rifle around at people.
545
00:23:47,026 --> 00:23:48,003
You know, that's
dangerous, Grady.
546
00:23:48,027 --> 00:23:49,505
Somebody could've gotten hurt.
547
00:23:49,529 --> 00:23:51,573
Oh, no. It couldn't
have gone off last night,
548
00:23:51,597 --> 00:23:53,675
because I didn't put
the bullet in. See?
549
00:23:53,699 --> 00:23:54,877
Grady, would you put that away
550
00:23:54,901 --> 00:23:56,077
once and for all?
551
00:23:56,101 --> 00:23:57,446
See, what I'm trying to say
552
00:23:57,470 --> 00:23:59,347
is that rifles aren't dangerous.
553
00:23:59,371 --> 00:24:00,982
It's bullets that are dangerous,
554
00:24:01,006 --> 00:24:02,785
but you can sure
scare a lot of people
555
00:24:02,809 --> 00:24:04,386
with an empty rifle.
556
00:24:04,410 --> 00:24:05,690
You just walk
around here, and...
557
00:24:22,227 --> 00:24:23,906
Sanford and Son
is recorded on tape
558
00:24:23,930 --> 00:24:26,330
before a live studio audience.
38840
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