Original subtitles

now the waste in your ashtray looks

flammable I'm afraid I'm gonna have to

cite you we're dead air bags on the back

of cars would cut down on damage from

rear-end collisions by 72.3%

which my son was a nerd see IRA nothing

to worry about

this is gonna be a great year boy this

is great I mean it's beautiful why is

that guard dressed like such a jerk

that's not a jerk dad it's worse nerd

it was just bad and it wouldn't last

long but nice singing this song

what Mac that was a pocket protector

we call him nerd packs it's what nerds

wear to keep pens from messing up their

shirts maybe I shouldn't go to Adams

you're going here a time I named after

the damn school college women look how

much more developed they are than high

school girls yeah and they'll probably

treat us worse than they did in high

school too

IRA not if we meet the challenge head-on

look in this love bag

I've got everything we'll ever need a

college an illustrated edition of the

can ASSU tree Oh for a love glove Wow

okay look what else I got mints Oh

condoms but we're virgins not for long

well this is it my boy

this is where we used to play ball this

is what we beat st. John's the year they

went to the final floor huh what a game

that was this is that computer science

center what the hell's going on here

isn't this great

they turned the gymnasium into the

computer science center we'll never have

to take PE again boy

this college is even greater than I

imagined and to think that my uncle is

chairman of the computer science

department he are you sure it's okay for

me to go over to his house with you I

hate to impose no problemo my uncle is

the greatest guy in the world

old sure he's dying to see us

Oh how was your day it was wonderful I

think we got federal funding for the

solar computer project it's great big

bucks for the computer science

department in all this for sure is the

dynamic systems in Aisle gene counts

honey you are so fantastic you just keep

wrapping up in computer consulting jobs

for atoms well babe what can I tell you

when you're hot you're hot

okay laughs no it is it isn't hip turns

me on darling

okay so how was your day it was great I

lectured on the difference between

Chagall and miró Oh we're always been

appreciating far more rapidly over the

past 10 years

darling I'm concerned with your

technique not their selling price the

heck with the technique give me the

green hungry start great because we're

having Tuscan monkfish and grilled baby

Japanese eggplant mmm don't know when

your appetite I hope we have enough for

your nephew his friend

are they coming over yes they're on

their way hmm kamichan excited to see

Harold of course I am Betty I love

Harold he's a wonderful kid it's just

when he dresses he's such a nerd what's

wrong with that

you were when you were his age that's

why I fell in love with you I may have

been perceived as that in the past vide

but I'm certainly not thought of that

way anymore

attention this is a smart

uncle Lewis sir hey hey yo uh it's not

Lewis anymore people call me Moo now Oh

your uncle Lou

hi Harold and Ben this is still better

you know Elizabeth oh it's just um plain

ol at bay hey Harold who's your friend

Oh uncle Lewis Lew and Aunt Betty this

is my best friend the whole world I

report this hi hey uh Oh what happened

to your head mr. Skolnick oh it's just a

little lab accident Wow

so where are you boys living oh we're

over at the freshman dorm till we pledge

a fraternity which one we hope to go

lambda lambda lambda hmm well I hope you

fellows you're planning on rushing other

fraternities as well no why should well

you were a trial aunt well that's true

but one thing I've learned in life is it

appearances are everything what are you

putting in their minds Lou here all I

never told you this but I always wanted

to be an alpha being alpha beta that's a

joke house in this that's right

and I didn't get in it's something I've

had to live with my entire life

I love the barbecue purple thanks uncle

ill those are the baby Japanese eggplant

finished Irish uh-huh I love the Tuscan

fish mr. Skolnick it's the first time

I've had fish not in stick form don't

look like that why not laughs anyway you

want boys sometimes your uncle is

embarrassed that he's a nerd

I'm not are too I'm not I'm not are too

would you like to go with us to the

football game tomorrow uncle Lou you got

to be kidding

haven't won a game in three years it's

not like the glory years when I was a

student at Adams here on Betty had a

boyfriend Stan Gable he was the

quarterback then he sure knew how to win

but you won me darling butterfly

I can't believe your uncle Louis isn't

proud of his past be ridiculous I read

he's just a grown-up now that's all it

was one of the founding fathers a lambda

lambda lambda my mom tells me he was

like a nerd George Washington maybe I

was just getting the wrong vibes of

course you were

they're playing our song oh I love trial

em already

welcome to lambda lambda lambda

fraternity hi we're in charge of being

tri-lambs will you've come to the right

place

I'm Malcolm penny to the third the drive

I'm president you named after Malcolm

tan I can tell you're driving timber

Wow look at all this Hardware nothing

but the best basketball players get free

shoes we get computers which would you

rather have excuse me I'm terribly sorry

to bother you but I really must tinkle

could you tell me what an avid tree is

wrong oh thank you very much how'd it go

great guy he's from England he could be

in your pledge class

that's great meeting nerds from

different lands let me introduce you to

some of the tri-lambs hey who's that guy

over there

oh that's Steve Toyota Steve's the

editor of the school paper we are

enjoying you me freshmen thank you like

you to meet Harold and Ira

so why old are you are you Japanese no

boy Korean why do you talk like that

South Korea

Sudi table fresh cilantro thank you I

can eat just watch without greenhouse

trouble show you to grow all our own

herbs and vegetables as well as orchids

to give to our dates in addition to

being a gourmet chef and botanist mason

is also the school mascot the Adams Adam

well looks like your trail ends do

everything

she does prove she's president on the

archaeology Society

she's uncovering a major fine right here

in the basement honey yes girls in

Thailand oh yes tri-lamb doesn't

discriminate nor do we instigate a means

to segregate it is our job to facilitate

a means to educate we believe that

diversity is the cement the Krazy Glue

if you will that Bond's us together

yo bullet hey boss

whoa what a great frat is this

alpha-beta

No lambda lambda lambda I never heard of

him when I went to school anybody was

anybody pledged alpha beta come on we're

almost there

nice house dad what the hell happened

welcome to alpha beta rush week I'm Bobo

Peterson rush week coordinator Lauren

Prize class of 1960 my son Adam he'll be

joining a fraternity this year Oh

want some chicken come join our riotous

debauch

tell me what fraternity is lambda lambda

lambda it's a nerd house it's cool isn't

it this is yours pledge class coming ba

ha oh great

anybody who wants to get in I wish we

get some nerds though it's almost

impossible wait a minute nerds and alpha

beta yeah they could raise our grade

point average and fix up our house real

nice like the tri-lambs I can't believe

I'm hearing this dad what happened your

fraternity I never thought I'd see the

day that I'd be ashamed of being

elevated me too Stan gable class of 80

or in riot 6 state you know when I went

to Adams alpha beta was the most

respected paternity on this campus yeah

now look at him I'm down here trying to

help these guys with rush week it's

perfect

you're nothing but a bunch of losers hey

who you calling losers you oh you all

are you've let the Nerds take over this

case it's not our fault who's like that

when we got here well it wasn't always

that way

Bobo there was a time when alpha beta

stood for something there was a time

when being an alpha beta meant you could

have any chick on campus you wanted

there was a time in being an alpha beta

and you could shock anyone you want to

route I remember those days you could be

remembered as the guys hey back

recording oh you have to hear when they

hurt like a bunch of morons and let him

roll over you you're right let's go kick

some nerd button

one leader gable I like your style

incoming phone call hello oh no this

horse thing I've ever heard

what about it behind what's wrong some

vandals have desecrated the computer

center

things like this make me think I'm

getting too old for this job

that's nonsense are you still got plenty

of lead left in your pants on its Dean

of Students I have a responsibility to

the safety of our young people I would

want any students getting hurt why would

anyone do something like this

Winston I've never heard anyone as a

concerned alumnus whose family has

contributed millions of dollars of the

years to Adams College I'm deeply

troubled by what happened at the Leon T

price computer science center we share

your concerns but what do you suggest we

do I think it's time Adams moved into

the 90s with a new direction a new

purpose and above all a new Dean Dean

ulich is due for retirement soon he's

been a great game I love the man I love

the man too but his time has passed we

need fresh blood

we need a new dean a man who when given

the proper authority and manpower can

restore order to our campus both

thinking or I like what you say makes a

great deal of sense we should start

searching for a new dean immediately

gentlemen lady I believe I found the man

for the job

I really want to thank you from the

bottom of my heart I'm probably done for

me

now boys dreamed of being Dean I just

want to let you know I'm not gonna let

you down I'm gonna give it 110% right

start on Monday

I can't on Monday I supposed to a call I

mean I hope that's okay I could change

it if you want I say and you can play

golf whenever you want now there's

somebody I wouldn't mind having a heart

attack

Thanks how about you Stan yeah she's

okay

I got somebody else in my mind we went

together in college she left me and

married some nerd geek perhaps now's the

time to get her back now that I'm Dean

perhaps I will

pledges you may enter remove the

blindfolds are the inner Coastal's ready

are the Acolytes ready we can begin

for the last couple of days tri-lamb has

done everything it can do in order to

try to impress you you are the precious

few who have been selected to join

lambda lambda lambda now it's your turn

to try to impress us we don't believe in

a long pledging process there is

absolutely no physical hazing under any

circumstances but we do have heck week

and your heck week is about to begin now

prepare to meet your pledge trainer

thank you very much maybe they're only

took my little one here's what I see you

must wait don't try and be y'all so

Feeny is a symbol of respect that I'll

fight is my shoulder there tri-lamb

pounders go do division that stuff a

video showing you the egg symbolizes a

new life you are about to embrace a

trial of eggheads Yamagata Sam you

should show your keys got a heart let

you sit quite soothing but don't get it

wrong no one can use computers all day

long when the early nerds were driven

from their own by the alpha betas and

forced to live in the gym they weren't

able to take their computers with them

therefore we honor their memory by not

using computers during heck week I hope

they should know Haitian week again

ledges toyota has left the building

I don't know if it's a good idea oh come

on honey

who's gonna see us

oh you sell this nice

I get the bummer there is a visitor at

the door Stan's Gable

hi Lew Skolnick class of 81 yeah I

remember you Lewis you do how could I

forget you

you're still Betty from me you gonna hit

me no no in fact I came to apologize you

know I have always felt bad about how I

was back in college listen I was just

down at the old alma mater and I heard

that you run the computer department and

I thought I'd stop by and say hi

Betty's gonna be so surprised to see you

Betty look who's here look great Betty

turn around

both of you Betty teaches in the art

department is that right yeah okay

I'm dressed I didn't know you liked art

Betty well there are a lot of things

that you didn't know about me Stan

Lewis has opened up all kinds of new

worlds for me I feel very fulfilled

that's nice

he married Stan no no I'm uh I'm

divorced it's horrible I'm really sorry

well don't be

there's only one girl I really love well

I hope someday you get her hey you want

to hop in the water with Betty it's

really nice

I'll get you swimsuit you don't I'm

gonna do I'm gonna make some hummus with

some blue corn tortilla chips oh no

listen I don't want any trouble it's not

any trouble you're gonna be my pleasure

it's just so great that you're here

what drink you here Stan oh I just

realized that I hadn't talked to you

guys in a long time and I thought maybe

maybe we could get reacquainted I can't

believe we ate all the hummus maybe I

should make some work well I'm gonna get

out cuz I'm turnin oh that's really

great seeing you guys again I don't know

if you've heard about it yet but Dean

ulich is retiring I've been nominated as

his replacement you're gonna be Dean I

thought you were a cop the future of

Adam's College is very important to me

Betty of course as a police officer you

really get to see the the dark side of

human nature and we can't let what

happen at the computer center the other

day continue it's time to nip this

lawlessness in the bud you know it

sounds to me like you have the makings

of a fine Dean Stan Thanks I'm gonna

take this in you know I know I did some

pretty rotten things to you and we're in

college I just hope we can become

friends now well I was like you Stan

you didn't like me I'd be honored to be

your friend hey you seem like a pretty

cool guy now I do yeah yeah yeah

are you okay of course I was just

wetting the back of my head

now your first step in becoming

tri-lambs is to prove your stamina and

endurance during this week of heck

next you must demonstrate your ability

to master the primitive tools of your

forefathers

Harold I don't think I can make it

through heck week

don't be ridiculous sire you're doing

great just a physical reaction or not

being able to use a computer called CWS

computer withdrawal syndrome we all have

it you can make it IRA I know you can

okay Harold

yes IRA can I tell you a secret sure

this is the closest I've ever slept to

I'm girl before

no to not count my mom or my sister and

most importantly you show that you can

work together as one by doing everything

this week as a team

you got to keep going

I can't it's four o'clock in the morning

I'm cleaning computer hardware with a

toothbrush - the keyboard there's only

one more day tomorrow night we put out

the fire with desire or tri-lambs

forever Oh boss now we'll never be

tri-lambs think hair will think

everything we've done this week is for

us to work together as one as a team

we've all gotta spit together that's it

that's it Harold good show

and it's chairman of the Faculty Senate

it is indeed my great pleasure to give

you a man of courage a man of vision a

man of honor ladies and gentlemen your

new Dean of Students

Stanley Harvey Gable thanks Lewis please

welcome our newest member

eirick office Judith

get back in action boys go get those

nerds

what are you doing agin me go cat on

let's not come back to the dare egg

summer coat

last but not least the presidents of

this year's pledge class Herald Skolnick

it is with great pride and joy I declare

you are now officially lambda lambda

lambda

don't have

yes we never do anything to you ooh burn

that's a nerve

why would we just leave us alone

don't know

so what seems to be the problem boys a

group of thugs ruined our initiation

picnic sir for no reason at all sir

why'd somebody do something like that we

think it was the same people who

desecrated the computer center sir

you do do it might be anti-nerd related

sir anti-nerd huh well I'll see what I

can do for you boys let me just give you

guys a little tip now don't get me wrong

some of my best friends are nerds but

you people can't keep pushing your

lifestyle on others like you've been

doing you're only bringing this abuse

upon yourselves now I'm sure things are

going to be better from now on

yeah better for me it's so great being

the Dean

Emme and there was uh I'm worried him

what your hairy no I said I'm worried

got a body where I didn't say I'm hairy

I said I'm worried

well are you worried about honey the

Alpha betas I feel like I'm in college

again I'm sitting here worrying about

the Alpha betas I can't score with you

before I just can't get over that they

destroy the tri-lamb initiation picnic

oh darling that was just returning to

high jinks remember when I panty read

your sorority house that's the first

time I saw you naked

Oh Louis Lou I've never been able to

resist you that's because there's

nothing like the love of a hard-driving

computer-literate man

Blue 32

what hey hey hey slam are you doing

push the ball oh I don't know I really

must be off oh come on lexer sighs never

heard anybody on well all right then

what do I do

all right when I say hike you hike me

the ball and you run for a pass you got

it

I kiss all right oh I can't believe we

actually have dates tonight I know I'm

pretty excited myself we want you to

look good for your dates the girls are

gonna love it

I thought we put these times behind us

prejudice never goes away it just lays

at the bottom of the swamp like pond

scum waiting for its moment to come to

the surface like Orca flies

what's Apocrypha a devious insect whose

Lobby lied dormant for an indeterminate

gestation period till they give birth

without forewarning sorry I asked what

are we gonna do about this I said we lay

low build a cluster bomb build alphabet

earth to their maker violence only

breeds more violence so I was right

we've got to work within the system

anyplace are different than they used to

be we nerds control the campus now we've

got to use that power hey Malcolm you're

president of the Greek Council can't you

do anything yes I can Toyota you're

editor in the school paper I think it's

time we saw a little editorial on our

new dean be my play it's time for us to

flex our muscles

there isn't a muscle in this room let's

flex the greatest muscle of all our

brains as president of the Greek Council

I moved at the alpha beta fraternity be

placed on social probation

all in favor not doesn't even rhyme not

the point

they printed my scores in the police

force I don't think I did that badly

I think up informations must be private

they're nerds with their advanced

knowledge of computers they can get any

information they want well being able

it's time we take off the gloves it's

time we start some nerd bashing I'm with

you all the way or let's let the good

times roll

you are being impaired

well let's reflection our muscles it's

time for us to play our trump card our

ace in the hole we're gonna nuke them

better we're gonna appeal to someone who

can really help us a man who many years

ago fought the battle for nerd rights I

leave well enough alone if things get

any more well around 2 mr. Skolnick will

all be dead you gotta understand

something kids these things are tricky

you would want to create a backlash

create a backlash we've already been

lashed all right hey what I'm gonna do

I'll talk to Dean Gable personally we

already talked to me Michael Lewis Lew

Harold you have to understand me and

Gable and I are like this so Stan you

really haven't heard anything about it

certainly not I'll tell you this I'm

sure as heck and get to the bottom of it

right away we really certainly will

there's no place for injustice in a

gable administration that's just what I

need you to say this is for you to sign

what am i signing well those are the

monthly appropriations requests not Ruth

what am I supposed to do today anyway

well where should I begin so she became

Dean you haven't done anything well you

don't just rush it lease Thanks your

budget is due next Monday budget I

haven't even looked at it yet how am I

supposed to get it done by Monday

I don't know especially since you have a

symposium an educational administration

this weekend I have to write a speech it

would help unless you're gonna win it

would you like me to help you write a

speech where'd you look you'd be my

pleasure

Stan you know I don't mean to be blunt

but you're never gonna make it as Dean

unless you learn to use a computer may

use a computer that's right

now Stan the computer is your friend

well what do I do

don't you start by cleaning it up

and put in a floppy disk

what floppy disk hey Harold so so it's

going to take time to investigate but I

have Dean Gables personal insurance he's

gonna look into this right after his

symposium next weekend you don't really

believe that

why shouldn't I because Gables shining

you on it's a smokescreen it's a sham

these things are wrong it should be

taken care of right now Harold I

understand I was full spit and vinegar

when I was your age you just got to be

patient sometimes it takes a while for

the system to correct mistakes well I'm

not just gonna stand by and watch my

brothers the abuse and persecuted I'm

gonna do something about this now Harold

I wouldn't rock the boat

you might just tip it over it's heaven

you uncle Louis Lou I don't know who you

are anymore uncle I always loved and

admired was a great warrior for nerd

rights I was proud to have his Skolnick

blood running through my veins his name

wasn't Lou it was Louis Lewis Skolnick

I can't believe we just got rejected by

the American Liberties Association

that's pretty low they defend Nazis or

get another attorney attorneys cost

mucho dinero

maybe there's tri-lamb alone we'll do it

for free we happen to have the complete

bio of every tri-lamb of all time right

in here

computer analyst accountant mechanical

engineer MD dentist rocket scientist

aren't three Detroit women became

lawyers we got too much integrity

oh wait wait here's one bingo Dudley

Dawson aka booger I wonder why they call

him booger hello

if you need an attorney cold butter you

picked the right one oh no I'm kind of

busy right now I'm on my way to meet a

client but tri-lambs are in trouble I'll

be right there no no I don't want any

money I want to go back to college I

want to live in a fraternity I want to

take college girls are the moves still

on campus

this looks really appetizing when you

thank you thank you though those are

these balls these are feeling left and

nutrition

let's hear it for the shop huh thank you

thank you thank you thank you oh I'm

truly triumphing subutex chuckles can we

get some real food you know like gummy

bears chips Lucky Charms with cheese

with how food is good for you toilet hey

I can't live on sprouts you want to make

my teeth it's cows eat this crap we're

supposed to eat cows it's law nature who

are you I'm your attorney

Oh mr. Dawson I don't know call me voter

certainly mr. booger no no not mr. bull

well no wait a minute I kind of like

that mr. booger it's kind of

distinguished what are you guys eating

cows eat that crap I like this guy

already

hey it's really nice you guys asked me

out for dinner okay Stan that's what

friends are supposed to do with their

friends what a babe I hope you say that

again

what a babe huh yes

maybe YUM maybe you should ask rejoins

the new she could be Stan's date yeah

hey Stan oh come on Stan you know you do

well uh excuse me miss oh yes could you

uh tell me where the closet tortilla

restaurant is you always do this you

seem to be rubbing off on him Stan it's

a wonderful restaurant they have creased

chimichangas so do you Lois wanted to

join us oh I don't know

oh really you'll have a great time

what's your name Tina Tina that's a

beautiful name

kanan this is my wife Teddy hello nice

to meet it's Tina

and this is our good friend Stan Gable

he's a Dean of Adams College oh yeah

I've seen your picture in the paper

you're the Dean with a low IQ you guys

are really a lot of fun thanks for

creating hey don't thank me thank Lou

hey where are the guys we got to stick

together there is a visitor oh well

let's have a little look-see there's

only one person who can pick a nose like

that

what are you son long time no see I hope

I'm disturbing you always Betty hey

booger wait a minute you're partying

with Stan Gable yeah isn't that a hoot

what if I oh come on Lois he hates us he

tried to destroy the tri-lambs bugger

that was years ago he's a cool guy come

on party with us

I ain't partying with no nerd hater and

I can't believe you would either stan is

a changed man yeah Gilbert told me you

had changed too Lois what are you

talking about you've become the worst

kind of nerd a self-hating one come on

put her give me a break you know in

school you were the George Washington of

nerds now looks like you're the nerd

Benedict Arnold

booger come on man booger you believe

that guy

it's got the same old hang-ups he had as

an undergrad poor bugger hasn't changed

at all

we asked the girls what they thought of

your bond and they told us dad one of us

said my eyes bounced from bodacious

biceps to bitchin bucks well you're

right about your uncle he's forgotten

who he is but there's no point in crying

over spilt milk we've got a lot of work

to do we are going to court tomorrow

Mason Judy take care of depositions

requests for admissions and proximate

interrogatories Malcolm I need you and

Edith to research wrongful termination

venue jurisdiction and proximate

causation hi Harold look into computery

negligence and assumption of risks

Toyota go get us some chili dogs

it's also 30 hey wait

the only way you'll learn not to jaywalk

is to teach you a listen I'm sentencing

you to a week of traffic school hell

pastured I rather go to jail fine a week

in jail and a week of traffic school

next Sophie a piece of cake like leaning

try lambs to the slaughter

well it's about time

Your Honor I respectfully request nay

demand an immediate injunction

restraining Dean Stan Gable from

overstepping his power and

discriminating against the members of a

lambda lambda lambda fraternity at Adams

College get out of here Your Honor there

is a very definite abridgement of my

clients civil rights here civil rights

my but there's no mention of nerds in

the Constitution get out of my courtroom

I appreciate hey bye Adams isn't any

different than anywhere else we've been

kidding ourselves all these years people

still hate us what are we gonna do now

isn't there something we can appeal it

not really what my little nerdlings

when you're really down and out there's

only one thing you can do and that is

party with an Omega mu

not the way you're making your love line

is very long miss oh yes your palm says

who are very sensitive it would be a

wonderful lover it's us what if it's

true wait wait not here

meet Matt Stairs it's been ten years

since I've slow dance with emotional

Yoda enjoy it while you can

hey IRA I think I'm about to be

devirginized

hey what's going on here

oh I'm Harold I'd like you to meet Mac

Tilda Nelson as innocent as that's okay

Tilda is a Kurdish for an exchange

student owner Dan occurred suckered nerd

now great I gotta go

don't forget to pretty hat I love

college

anybody stare we are this is a ray

excuse me um could you come back in

about ten minutes i'm malcolm pennington

the third to try then-president do you

have a warrant of course

hey why y'all bein our house we have

reason to believe there are illegal

substances on these premises

that's impossible this is a truck free

house it is any member using drugs is

thrown out of the house immediately

you don't eat me you don't do drugs

what's wrong with kids today we've had

the benefit of learning from your

generations mistakes we believe in just

saying no so that in all due respect we

don't turn out like you oh well that

makes sense then you have no objection

to us taking a look around

not at all

looks like somebody's about to harvest

the bumper crop this can't be we've been

framed I think you've gone a little too

far oh you do do you I don't like it I'd

want to be a part of anything to do with

drugs there'll be a part of anything I

want you to be a part of I understand

that cable we got those stinkin nerds

right well we want them present

perhaps I should play a traditional tune

for my country it always lifts my

spirits and makes everyone happy please

I'd rather get to share Ruth tell Stan

I'm here Dean Gable the Skolnick is here

to see you

I'm busy tell him to make an appointment

you can't win there Lou no I can't

what are you doing in here I told you I

was busy you know they were framed

the police found dope everywhere Stan

you know these guys they wouldn't do

anything like this

Oh knows what a bunch of nerds would do

you can't mean that

what I do this guy a friend of yours

phone no

well you sure dressed like friends did

you just say we're not friends you just

saying that cuz he's here I said it

because I meant it you know you haven't

changed Louis you're still a nerd and

you always will be you used me Stan I

defended you to everybody who put you

down I wrote your speeches I showed you

how to use a computer I even fixed you

up at that nice girl Tina I thought you

were my friend stand

by travelpod member

you

you

I'm back and this time I'm not taking

any prisoners who paid our bill I did

you're back yeah where did you come up

with that kind of scratch Oh Betty I

hope you don't mind I'm work it's the

house mind I've never been happier in my

life

there's another little problem they've

confiscated the tri-lamb house and

everything I didn't have given it to the

alpha betas can I do that I'm afraid

they can so Betty if it's okay with you

I'd like all the tri-lambs to stay in

our house I insist

okay you're the greatest Lois from now

on I'm Lewis Skolnick you are such a

nerd damn right I am

nerds

hey where's my regular barber sad

oh we fired him hmm oh good we'll take

good care

hey gonna make it too short back there

right oh no no it's my vision of you it

works

it's a look at the 90s it's very no

we're into the Millennium hey I heard

you to shade two nerds heads a while

back

yeah it was great huh I know those nerds

are us the girls are gonna love it

you called for a plumber showers broken

I need to bathe I can tell you've got

some right to spew dude just fix the

water

we are here at the world-renowned

tri-lamb fraternity bathroom where we

have secretly replaced their pimple

clear with pimple-inducing ingredients

let's see if they notice

this house gives me the creeps oh it's

okay creampuff I'm here to protect you

what's that on your face my nose there's

another one another what and there's

another one and another one

good job trails but it's time to get

serious

we've got to take back what's ours and

show everyone that the 90s can't

function without nerds and that was we

to end the tour guides with their new

hit agent Eddie we're coming during the

Adams College radio station in the name

of nerd freedom there's no greater

friend of the nerd than the American DJ

if we weren't all nerds ourselves we'd

be on television Stan have I got you

what's the matter with your face on some

secret nerd concussion the dermatologist

said they'd never seen anything like it

before

it's not funny Sam you look like you I

know I know a candy cane no a barber

pole Oh we interrupt this program to

bring you an urgent message my name is

Lewis Skolnick and I'm chairman of the

computer science department at Adams

College I'm a nerd and I'm proud of it

get your campus cops down to the radio

station get that [ __ ] off the air my

fellow nerds

we are facing the greatest challenge we

have ever faced

the systematic elimination of nerd

culture from the Adams campus I

therefore am calling for an Adam's

College nerd strike I call for nerds of

all ages to throw down your packs in

fact I call for anyone out there who's

better or a sister who's a nerd anywhere

this admired a nerd from a distance the

choice is shutting this school and all

anam cities

down and tell our rights I restored

gable I'm 1800 you have a hair

appointment Ruth no I'm joining the

strike look you're not a nerd Ruth no

but my son is and whatever he is or

wants to be I support him 100% shut it

down

whoa

we say

but it's gonna be great

you call the electric company phone's

dead

nerds

you look like I know I know a barber

well I was thinking more like anything

it's very funny

look you got any gasps oh my god can't

tell you anything what are you a nerd

sympathizer oh hey look I don't want

anything to do with this nerd thing I

got no feeling for him one way or the

other your computers don't work do they

I'll be good it's the same at every

station all the time so what are we

gonna do don't worry about it's just as

tough on them as it is on us

why don't you get a horse where'd he get

gas

methanol filler not only are we winning

our campus back but we're recycling

refuse cutting down on the consumption

of fossil fuels and ridding the air

nasty

mr. Skolnick IRA communist Louis we are

receiving tremendous nerd support from

all across the city

that's wonderful get on the modem to

contact all the extra lines across the

country I want them here for the nerd in

mr. Skolnick

they call us nerds because we've always

been nice and people yeah they call us

nerds because we got good grades they

call us nerds because we treat our

parents with respect all right

we're nerds we're very wet we're very

upset we're nervous we're wet we're very

very upset weird isn't this great

the old gang isn't coming hey Bobo look

at you you have their own homes and

their own man I use everything no I sold

out even my exbest friend Gilbert knows

I'm a traitor to our people looking

finally decided to show

Ardi Stan Harvey game

you nerds have ruled my life

how do we do that Stanley I used to be a

big man on campus until you humiliated

me at the pep rally you stole Betty away

from me after that not another living

soul ever respected me again you're such

a victim Stan aren't you maybe you ought

to start taking responsibility for your

actions instead of blaming all your

faults and failures on others

campus police have joined the strike

they're everywhere

seems as if you shake anyone's family

tree a couple of nerds will drop out

maybe we should try and negotiate I

don't negotiate with nerds

well what are we gonna do Oren the press

is gonna have a field day with this I'm

gonna be the laughingstock of the entire

country the school is paralyzed there's

no telephones no electricity no gases

like Baghdad around here shut up we

destroy the what's colic the rest of

those nerds will fall like a deck of

cards

how would you destroy him by revealing

his misuse of Adam's college funds Lewis

has been misusing Adams funds remember

those papers I had you have him sign

yeah well Louis doesn't know it but I've

been using part of his monthly

appropriation to get things that I think

the college needs

like what like procuring women for the

football players new yacht Lear Jets

things the school needs well why didn't

you tell me about this I didn't think

that was necessary not necessary

I'm the Dean come on Stan we both know

what you are if you want to stay the

Dean you'll keep your mouth shut you

could ruin him for life I know

terrible isn't it Oh

you have any bait go fish we broken

their backs they're all returning to

work great yeah got an eight he did it

for sure how else did he get that Beamer

this is a lie of course it is didn't

know anything about this of course you

didn't I can't believe they pulled this

of course you can't

you were right Betty I was a fool Stan

was duping me all along I'm gonna be

ruined now everything I've worked for my

whole life is gonna be destroyed no

matter what happens we still have each

other

and excuse me but as your attorney I've

got to know did you do it I mean it's

cool if you did I'd have done it myself

I'd had the chance which is curious no I

didn't do it I'm innocent of course you

are didn't do it Adams College blew it

Lewis didn't do it as College blew Rick

Lewis didn't do it I'll call it good

whose didn't do it and call it blew it

who's didn't do it one second come in

Betty what are you doing here

he thought you were his friends stand

who has friends everybody uses everybody

else nobody has friends Lewis does oh

yeah sure he had a lot of friends during

the strike but where are they now you

know he's innocent Stan I want you to

tell the truth get Lewis released you

really love this guy don't you

it means everything to me I do anything

to save him anything is that what you

want Stan I don't want to like that

Betty believe or not I still have a

little pride left mr. Dawson

any more nose-picking and I'll hold you

in contempt

your witness thank you your honor mr.

gable how did you get your job I applied

for the job and I got it were you

qualified dee dee

sure yeah I arrested a lot of kids when

I was with the Highway Patrol did a lot

of volunteer work with the Police

Athletic League stuff like that well

that certainly qualifies you to be the

Dean of a major college what was your

grade point average Stan I had a C

average C was it not in fact a c-minus

just this side of the D plus border and

I don't see my grade point has to do

with this case just answer the question

mr. Gaeta I agree with the witness mr.

Dawson I don't see what his grade point

has to do with that nerd embezzling

funds

Your Honor I intend to prove that there

were shenanigans involved in the very

appointment of Stan gable as Dean of

Adam's College overruled Dean gable

isn't the one on trial here

Your Honor this line of questioning is

the cornerstone for my entire defense

overruled well I call for a mistrial

clearly my client can't get a fair trial

in his anti-nerd atmosphere oh yeah over

oh come on please Your Honor any more

outbursts mr. Dawson and I'll throw your

whole damn gaggle of nerds in jail for

contempt mr. gable yes when did you

learn of my clients alleged misuse of

Adam's college funds

just recently no well wasn't that a

coincidence that you should discover

this at the very height of a nerd strike

led by Lewis Skolnick a strike which

threatened to topple your tower of

totalitarian tyranny

Hey silence in my court mr. Dawson I'm

warning I've had it who is this geek in

my courtroom I thought you and your

honey moon well your stepfather and I

have the rest of our lives for

honeymooning we won't be here to support

you

we're behind you 100% I'm really glad

you're here dad because I need all the

help I can get Wilson I believe helps on

the way we mean free Louis nerve power

Lamar the man order so what are you

doing well I look at me lying now I know

model you know strike a pose what is

that

worms here what is a worm the tri-lambs

in trouble up there

and so handsome are you married

better I'm a gynecologist Your Honor

this is a mockery of the judicial system

Takashi

you win

are you and thank you for being here so

wonderful I know if only Hilbert I lose

I can't believe you're here I thought

you never wanted to speak to me again I

didn't but I heard you were a nerd again

forever this time

I'd like to make a statement

Lewis Skolnick had no idea what was

going on are you saying this nerd is

innocent yes yes the money was

misappropriated by Orrin price this is

preposterous you're worse than they are

price Louis I'd like to be your friend

seeing you here with the rest of your

trial and brothers and sisters that

makes me see what real friendship is all

about

my whole life I've hated your kind and

really I I hated myself and as I said

last night the computer I realized that

that I was a nerd and that is a little

bit of nerd in everyone I guess I was

just afraid to face it part of myself

but now I'm not I'm a nerd trapped in a

beautiful body but I'm a nerd

nonetheless you're not a nerd you're an

idiot

idiots are people too Orrin it's not how

smart you are how good-looking you are

or how much money you make is what's in

your heart that counts sorry Louis I'm

so sorry I just hope that one day you'll

be able to forgive me for what I've done

to you I love you Stan oh brother

you guys want to be alone I'd also like

to point out that it was Orrin price

that planted the marijuana in the

tri-lamb house and that the tri-lambs

are completely innocent of all charges

I could agree with you you can bet on it

I can even come on your nerves