All language subtitles for M.A.I.D.2004.THAI.1080p.WEBRip.x265-VXT

The satellite video connection
is up and running.

Champak to Snow Lotus,
confirm the first piglet's location.

The first target is confirmed, over.

Anaxagorea to Snow Lotus, confirm
the second piglet's location, over.

The second target is confirmed, over.

Hello, sir.

This is Chaisit,

the friend that I told you about.

What are you looking at?

Copy, over.

Gosh, that looks so tasty.

It's really delicious.

I think we should move.

Please come in.

The three piglets
are on the chopping board.

Please sit down.

They'll turn into sausages soon enough.

Data is correct, over.

Who told you to come in?

The lady, sir.

Wait.

We were just helping them.
We don't know anything.

That's right.

Stop talking. Who sent you?

Hey!

We're screwed.

Call for backup now!

Why the hell did you park like this?

How would we be able to get out?

Stop!

Start driving!

Don't follow me. Don't follow.

Get her in the car.

Where the hell is backup?

Go!

Three people infiltrated the Minister's
Songkran party to assassinate him,

but failed to do so.

They were killed by the security team
of the businessmen

who were guests there.

The incident happened while the Minister
was talking to the guests privately.

The police assume that this shooting

may have been motivated

in objection to the coalition
of businessmen from many industries

to pressure the government

to legalize casinos in Thailand.

However...

I saw the news on TV.

It sucks.

Come on.

So you don't have
anywhere else to go, right, Waew?

No, madam.

I just got fired from Mr. Jira's house.

But I didn't do anything wrong.

They accused me of flirting
with the gentleman.

As if!

He's old and bald.

I'm being honest.

I was on my way to see my sister

but then I got hit by your car.

Sir said that you're in need of a maid,

so will you please hire me?

Please, madam. Please?

Let her help around the house.

It's good karma too.

All right then.

But no hanky-panky, okay?

You don't trust me.

Do you want me to swear on it?

Let's go!

I'm sending you...

some money, Mom.

LIST OF CASUALTIES

What? Really?

How could you do this kind of work?

Then who got it?

Sopon?

Three years and that's all you got?

These assholes!

Jeez, sir.

Lean on me.

Get up.

Wait, I parked to pee.

Forgot to zip my pants.

Jeez, sir,

just don't say anything.

-Kwan.
-Kwan.

-Nice to see you at an event.
-Nice to see you at an event.

Our maid has a sister who works here.

Oh, I see.

She begged me to come

so she could tag along.

My, my, Prasert, you look tired.

You've been married for a couple of years

and I see that you're still not bored
of your wife.

That's not it.

Prasert's been working very hard recently.

Where did you get your facelift?

-Tell your doctor to
-Please excuse me.

-tighten the stitches.
-See you later.

By the way, Jim,

my, my, why do you look so good
these days?

What meds are you taking, Jim?

A hottie.

Don't tell me,
Mrs. Ti is treating you well.

No, it's not the wife.

What?

It's the husband.

-A guy?
-What?

The thing is I found a pair of panties

in one of the pockets in sir's pants.

And no matter how I looked
it definitely wasn't madam's.

So I asked sir

and that did it!

Now whenever he gets a peek of purple,

he slaps money in my hands.

-That's great.
-Brilliant!

-Amazing.
-Super.

But when I was at Mr. Jira's house,
he took care of me too.

Amazing.

-I bet she saw it.
-Yeah.

Mrs. Mayuree thought
that Waew was flirting with her man.

That's why she got fired.

Right.

Why are you bragging?

But the latest secret that I found out

-is surely going to make me some money.
-What is it?

What?

Well, ever since I've gone to work
for Mrs. Kwan,

I've never seen her use a pad.

-Does she use coconut spathe?
-Yeah.

No.

Can I buy this?

Do you want some too?

There are no pads in the house.

She never buys it!

I'm thinking that Mrs. Kwan...

is old!

-But she's so pretty.
-And young.

-What are you saying?
-Hey!

-She's still young.
-What we see must be a doctor's work.

Can a doctor do everything
from head to toe?

I bet she got surgery all over.

-Whoa!
-Yeah.

Only old people don't use pads.

-Like my mother.
-Right.

And you.

Hey, you.

-Hey.
-She doesn't use them anymore?

Wait...

What's wrong? You've been quiet.

Do you have a headache?

I'll get you some medicine.

Oh, my god!

What's the matter?

Damn it, I made a hole.
Who covered it over?

Waew.

Waew.

Yeah, what's...

Why did you bite me?

Prasert!

Wait, Kwan, listen to me!

Sir, do you really want me?

No matter what happens to you,

I'll take full responsibility.

What about madam?

Don't worry about Kwan.

Waew,

you're the only one...

Don't listen to him, Waew.

All men say this.

I've been eavesdropping long enough.

You said you'll take responsibility, huh?

It's not like that, Jim.

We didn't sleep together.

What? He didn't take advantage of you?

-No.
-Gosh!

Then why did you tell me to come and help?

You said there was a problem.

Next time, you can ask me first
before you hit me.

Sorry.

Tell me, which dog did this to you?

The one at home.

I fed it too much
and that made it ferocious.

Do you know what my work is?

I'm the head of
a special investigations unit

that reports directly
to the Prime Minister.

I investigate and collect evidence
of corruption

by high profile politicians.

Even from those who
the Anti-Money Laundering Office

and the police can't get their hands into.

Even the Prime Minister's wife
doesn't know that my unit exists.

And I want you

to become my spies.

-He wants us to spy!
-He wants us to spy!

What made you think that we can do it?

Because you're observant,

in other words, nosy.

Don't smile.

I'll tell you something.

Bosses place a lot of trust
in their maids.

They let them come and go anywhere.

And that is the advantage that you have

over other kinds of spies.

In the past,

I've only had professional spies
disguise themselves as helpers,

but they always got caught.

And then what happened?

They all got butchered.

Oh, my gosh!

Then I'll be going now.

-Bye.
-Goodbye.

Wait.

You know full well

why your parents are working
in rented rice paddies.

You know what's the problem.

Come back here.

I'm telling you, with this job,

not only do you get to do a service
for your country,

but you'll also get paid well.

How much?

Don't you go back on your words, sir.

I won't.

I want you two to go work in this house

which belongs to this man, Sopon.

He runs a food trading company,

which has many branches
in other countries.

He's close to a lot
of government officials.

His wife, Emma, is British.

They have one daughter,

Paula.

This is Chaisit,

Sopon's best friend since childhood.

Chaisit owns a dozen of brothels
and illegal casinos.

He and Sopon have opened
a construction company

and conspired to launder concession money
from the government.

Right now, they are trying to legalize
their casino business.

Using Sopon's relationships
with ministers,

they're bribing politicians
with huge sums of money

so they can open their casinos freely.

The easiest place for you to infiltrate

is Sopon's house.

Let's go to Imperial World Samrong,
they have a lot of stuff.

We will get rid of the old maids

and have you two replace them.

Get in.

STRAY DOGS SQUAD

A vacation?

Around the world?

Hey!

You have to attach listening devices
on all their phones

to gather evidence
of bribe money payments.

We have to prevent this evil plan

from ever getting off the ground.

Otherwise,

-normal people
-I'm done.

will suffer the same fate
that happened to your family.

Morning meals are called...

You two have to earn the trust
of Sopon's family,

and then you have to wait for an order
from the messenger.

Why do we need a middleman?

Just talk to me
and give the middleman's money to us.

No.

We're all screwed if somebody ever sees me
in contact with you.

She saw us.

What do we do?

We have to kill her.

Don't you think you watch too much TV?

Who's going to be the messenger?

Don't worry.

Somebody will contact you.

The new maids are here, madam.

Waew and Jim, right?

I guess you already know your duties.

Call me madam.

Ma Dumb.

Why is she named Ma Dumb?

Ma Dumb.

Don't name your kid that.

Ma Dumb.

-Lady, who names their kid Ma Dumb?
-I would be so embarrassed.

-If it were me...
-Quiet.

Call me Mrs. Emma then.

Here, you have to get along
with other people.

Take this.

This is the maid's handbook
for this house.

It has the list of things you must
and must not do,

as well as punishments.

Jim, please take these two to their rooms

and show them around the house.

Yes, madam.

One thing you need to understand

is that I'm the head maid here,

so you have to call me boss, understand?

Why? You're a servant too.

She's a bad seed, boss.

Should I slap her?

Stop, Pookie.

Don't stoop down to their level.

Listen up, fatty,

just do as I say.

And one more thing.

If you want to stay here,
you'll have to learn how to speak

the central dialect or English.

Such backcountry girls.

You're backcountry too!

Why, you, you act all high and mighty,
speaking English.

You've forgotten your roots!

-You're a hypocrite!
-Jim.

-What?
-Stop.

Over her dead body.

-I'll hit you!
-We'll lose our money this way.

Stand up straight.

-Pick it up.
-Come on.

Go.

That's enough.

Thai TVs are always breaking down.

It needs a thumping.

Hey.

You don't have to thump it.

The TV's not broken.

That's called a censorship.

What's a censorship?

They don't want kids
to copy those behaviors,

so they made them fuzzy.

Jeez, but I can see
that he's holding a cigarette.

He's puffing away.

Anyone would know he's smoking,

what's the purpose of censoring it?

What now?

You can see he's got a gun to his head.

He's about to die.

The censorship just makes it fuzzy
and harder to see.

If they're so scared,
shouldn't they just put it off the air?

Thai people are stupid.

Then why did you come to Thailand,
you Karen girl?

Hey, tell me,

what was your name before Cat?

Maew.

But I've changed it. It's Cat now.

Cat McIntosh, okay? Not English.

And where are you from?

What?

Me?

I'm from Chiang Rai.
My home's in Chiang Khong.

This house is nice, huh?

International.

Pookie.

Everyone, according to Mrs. Emma's book
you have to be in bed by 10:00 p.m.

That's the rule
for both newbies and oldies.

Go to bed.

Go on.

She's a bad seed, boss.

I know.

Eat up.

Provincial and stupid.

-Stop. It's my job.
-She called me.

Oh, no!

What are you two doing?

I didn't mean to.

You called me so I brought you your tea,

but this fatty played a trick on me.

I didn't mean to do it.

You called me by my name, so I came.

I didn't want you to say I'm goofing off.

Oh, dear. I have two Jims.

How about this?

Put something at the beginning
of our names.

I'm big, so call me Big Jim.

She's dark-skinned, so call her Black Jim.

How about that?

That's fine.

Big Jim and Black Jim.

Mrs. Emma,

do you know what jim means in Thai?

If people found out, how could I--

Don't be picky, Black Jim.

House rule number one, line one,

"Don't talk back to madam."

Yes, madam.

Seven baht. Two for seven baht.

Well, how about this?

Can't you do two for five baht, Kob?

My name's not Kob.

No? You look so much like the actress.

To be honest,
I thought you were filming or something.

But when I look closely,
you're even prettier than Kob.

Right.

-You can have two for five baht.
-Thank you.

-The one here before
-Hey!

-was ugly and rude.
-Pay up.

How much?

Five baht.

I'll throw this eggplant in here, too.

Wow, you're pretty and kind.

And I'll take five limes too.

Black Jim, come pay for the limes.

Black Jim!

Come here and pay for the limes!

Black Jim.

Her name's Black Jim?

Black Jim!

Black Jim!

-Come here!
-Give this to her.

No, no.

Yours is black too, huh?

Please, come again.

Would you like some dumplings and buns?

The messenger will ask you
if you'd like dumplings and buns.

You should reply...

I'll take three dumplings and two buns.

That'll be 98 baht.

It's 98 baht.

Okay?

It's 98 baht.

Three dumplings and two buns.

Twenty.

Here you go.

Oh, Samorn.

Hey!

Did you move here?

How great.

I'll take two of the usual,
two pieces of chicken,

a bag of noodles, and three bags of rice.

Here, I'll help.

Hey!

Don't act like we're friends.

Do I know you?

It's me, Waew. Don't you remember me?

I lived with Mrs. Kwan

in the house with the white roof
in front of the temple.

It's only been two months
since I last saw you

and you've already forgotten me?

-Waew.
-Waew.

-Waew.
-Waew.

-Waew, Waew.
-Waew, Waew.

What Waew? I don't know you.

Just standstill.

Would you like some dumplings and buns?

I'll take three dumplings and two buns.

-Waew, Waew.
-Waew, Waew.

Bye now.

Wait, don't you want your food, Waew?

No, maybe another day.

Jeez.

What now?

Did you buy the wrong stuff again?

No, this is the real deal.

"Hello, Waew and Jim.

It's been two months now.

You should have
completely gained their trust by now.

Therefore, your first task

is to put the listening devices
in Sopon's,

Chaisit's, and the minister's phones."

Amazing!

Fatty, you're goofing off in there.

I know what you're doing.

Come out right now.

Is my face so much like your mother's

that you have to see me all the time,

you lump of coal?

I'm going to tell madam.

She's a bad seed, boss.

Very bad.

Just watch it.

Crazy.

"If everything goes as planned,
you will receive further instructions.

Good luck.

P.S. This paper
will self-destruct immediately."

God!

Oh, my!

Get off, you're heavy.

Get off.

I was startled.

Boo!

Stop playing around.

I told you not to turn it on
until we've put on our masks.

Waew, this is a new color.

I guess Mrs. Emma just bought it.

Come try it.

I'm already pretty,

I don't need to smear it on like you.

Move, damn it!

What do we do?

Hey.

Hello?

Sir.

-Waew?
-We got caught.

Don't speak yet.

These two threatened
to tell Mr. Sopon about us if...

Hey!

Stop mumbling and just give me the phone.

Jeez.

Here's the thing, sir.

Everything is still top secret,

but we have to let these two
in on the plan too.

Also, we have to give the Karen girl
Thai nationality.

Yes.

-Get a lot of donors.
-My, Emma,

-you're as beautiful as ever.
-I got to go, bye.

Can you take care of the top of my hair?

Mrs. Emma, don't say I'm sucking up,

but out of all the pretty ladies here
you're number one.

And you didn't need a doctor either.

-Hello, sir.
-Hello.

How many songs will you sing tonight?

Oh, Kwan, I'm not very good at singing.

It's a million baht per song.

The European Alumni Association

is very thankful to all the viewers
who have donated

to help the women and children
in Thai society.

Let's take a little break

then we'll be back
with more wonderful songs

from the Minister and Madam Soitip.

-My periwinkle man
-I'm sorry, madam,

but this slap is for the country.

We're screwed! Where's Madam Soitip?

EUROPEAN ALUMNI ASSOCIATION

Hey.

Prasert,

the singer on the stage with the minister
looks so familiar.

I think I've seen her before.

-Do you recognize her?
-Jeez, she's so far away. Let's go.

I can only see her mouth.
Who knows who she is?

Hey.

Oh, no. I've never seen this model before.

I'll break it for sure.

Hurry up. I need to put it back on him.

I've never seen this model before.

Jeez, fatty.

I've never seen this model before either.

See?

Can't open it.

Don't go anywhere.

It's almost our turn.
I'm just going to the toilet.

You sound so good.

Oh, Kwan, why did you come
into the men's room?

Out of tissue? I'll bring you some.

Just be quiet.

It's so smelly in here, why did you come?

Where did it go?

Here's my number.

Don't forget to call me.

Oh, here it is.

Down.

Where are you going?

-Stop right now!
-Going to your dad's funeral!

These two are clean.

APPROVED

OPERATION M.A.I.D.

Why did you kick me out?

The elevator was full. Someone had to go.

Close it.

Hey!

It's probably just like hitting lizards.

Hey. Are you all right?

Serves him right.

Hello? What's up?

The sexiness didn't work.

Jeez, I've got goosebumps
just talking about it.

That woman is hot but she's so clumsy.

Yeah.

She almost hit my head with a golf ball.

Yeah.

I'm shaken up too.

Yeah.

She's really clumsy.

One guy's already knocked out.

So what's up with you?

I'll come back soon.
You should greet them first.

What?

I don't know what time I'll get there
or if there's traffic.

Yeah.

Calm down.

I'm coming.

What now?

Yes.

Where are you now?

How many?

What are you doing here?
Why aren't you working?

You're one to talk, fatty.

I'm telling Mom.

You stick.

I'm older than you.
You can't hit me like that.

So, isn't Chaisit here yet?

Oh, you.

Why is the traffic so bad?

I'm getting off here.

Thanks a lot.

-Number three.
-Number three, 20 baht.

The money.

Hey, park here!

Park here!

Madam, excuse me.

For your own safety,
please don't stand near the yellow line.

You're talking to me?

Yes.

I can't go there?

No.

Where are you from?

-Oh, Khon Kaen.
-I'm from Ubon Ratchathani.

-Big Jim, come on.
-You're cute.

Big Jim.

Can I have your number?

It always gets full with me.

Jeez.

What the hell?

I never get to go.

Damn it.

NANCY BROTHEL

Hey, wait.

Where are you going?

Go.

Are you new here?

Go through the back door, newbie.

Go.

Go on.

Guys,

I'm at Nancy Brothel.
I'm about to go inside.

Yeah.

Go on.

Right, newbie.

You're here? Come on, he's waiting.

Sir, the new girl is here.

Where are you going?

He's waiting.

Have fun, sir.

Come on.

Come sit next to me.

Did you know

that I immediately fell for you

the moment when I first saw you?

Understand?

Come.

Come on.

You're a player.

I was the same.

When I saw you,

I felt hot all over.

Why stop and think?

Drink up.

You old fart!

Save your strength for breathing.

Waew, we're here to help!

Goofing off and leaving work
violates house rule number 23.

Using your masters' things
violates house rule number 33.

The combined punishment

is dismissal.

Mrs. Emma, can I please have the chance
to explain?

I went outside

with the good intention

to protect your honor.

Tell me what happened.

It all started with me getting a telegram
to go to a cousin's funeral.

That's why I rushed out
without asking you first.

And the servants from the house
in the next alley are distant relatives.

They've said disdainful things
about you before.

They said you're a nouveau riche,

rich just on the outside,

but you're stingy.

I figured they would be at the funeral,

so I wanted to give them proof.

I showed them your fancy clothes.

You know, when they saw your outfits,

they all complimented you.

Really?

Yes, absolutely.

Right, then.

I forgive you.

I won't fire you.

But I'll be deducting 50 percent

from your pay for a month.

Would you like some dumplings and buns?

Hey?

Where's my bun bag?

Would you like some dumplings and buns?

Tell me the password.

Why do I need to say it again?

You already know who I am.

Keep it quiet

or people will realize that we're spies.

It's not like we're conspicuous
or anything.

Besides, what if you're someone else
in disguise?

Jeez.

So, would you like
some dumplings and buns?

I'll take three dumplings and two buns.

-Waew, Waew.
-Waew, Waew.

"You've messed up again.

The data has been moved
to Chaisit's casino.

You need to download it.

The casino has a very tight security,

so I've sent you some tools.

You have pepper spray
to spray in people's eyes.

And this is a 20,000-volt taser

to knock people out like fish.

Be safe."

Ae, have you seen Waew? Please go get her.

Oh, Waew's doing the laundry.
Why do you want her?

Mary's brought some old books
for me to donate.

I want someone to put them away.

I'll do it.

I can never help myself
whenever I see those poor orphans.

I simply had to give them
a hundred thousand baht.

Hello.

Do you remember me?

I'm Emma's daughter.

-We met at the...
-The...

The European Alumni Association.

They didn't invite me.

But I didn't really want to go anyway.

No wonder we didn't raise a lot of money.

Oh, the elevator's here.

Please, after you.

-Please.
-Let's go play some crap.

It always gets full with me.

Get Big Jim and Cat.

I want them to plant this tree
that Wipa brought.

Big Jim and Cat

are cleaning the bathroom.

I'll do it.

Jim,

keep a lookout.

I'll go download the files.

Do you have money?

What?

Well, if I just walk around,
I might get caught.

Do you have any money?

Damn it!

Thirty red. Believe me, I'm psychic.

Right.

Red.

Red, red.

Red, red.

Here,

I'll give you 2,000.

What's the next one? Tell me.

Oh, my psychic powers
only work once a day.

Just quit and go home.

Jeez, go away. I'll play by myself.

Oh, my.

Sorry.

Excuse me, but does your mother want
a weird daughter-in-law?

-Hey, Willy.
-Hello.

You look tired.

-Stuck in prison for a while this time?
-Yes.

-There were a lot of witnesses.
-Jim.

-Create a distraction.
-Everyone

-were too scared to help.
-Jim.

That fatty.

Sopon's already sent the list of names.

Yeah.

Okay.

Willy, come downstairs with me.
Something's up.

Oh, just a friend. A friend.

Yes, I love you. I'll hurry back.

Disgusting!

Old hag.

"Turn the computer on."

It's on.

"Press enter."

How is "enter" spelled?

Which of the two is it?

How come they're pointed there?

This is weird.

-Hey.
-What?

-That's in front of my room.
-Here too.

What the hell?

-What?
-Hey!

Hey!

Where are you going?

Shit, it's all out!

You're done for!

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.

Catch a tiger by the toe.

If...

My god!

Take this!

And this!

Run!

Hurry up and go!

Come on.

We're out of time!

-What?
-Jim.

-What?
-Go.

Another round, please? I'm feeling lucky.

Look at my money.

-I'm rich.
-Jim.

Come here.

Free money!

Hey! What are you doing?

-Hey!
-Let go!

Cut them off at the elevator, go!

There's nobody here, boss.

We can't find them.

They've disappeared.
They're quick like monkeys.

Hurry up and follow them!

I'm trying to find...

Damn, they're quick.

Hold on tight, guys!

I can't do it. Hurry up, Cat.

Jim.

Hurry up.

Make it quick, Cat.

-We're done for.
-Shut up.

Go, go.

Come on, fatty.

Don't let go.

Hide!

Where did they go?

VACANCIES

You violated the rules again.

Disappearing from work.

Stealing clothes.

The only punishment is dismissal.

You don't have to fire me. I'm quitting.

I don't want to stay either.

Come on, guys.

And the salary...

-Come on, fatty.
-What?

Are you sure you want to quit?

Gosh, it was just getting good.

But I'll quit if you're all quitting.

Where can I find weirdos like you again?

BANGKOK - UBON RATCHATHANI

-Pull.
-Who's stealing my mangoes?

The house was huge.

Ma Dumb. I almost peed myself.

That hurts.

You'll take my skin off.

-Sixty-nine.
-Wrong again.

Cut it like this.

Maybe I'll get to be a star.

Jeez.

Jump!

Here I go!

Number three.

Oh, here you are.

I was in town
and got these letters for you.

Take them.

How cool, you got letters from abroad too.

Thank you so much.

Yeah.

Letters for us, Jim.

"Hello, Waew and Jim.

When we separated,
I tried to continue working in Bangkok."

But it was more or less, the same story.

The men of the houses I worked in
were all the same.

"I got so mad that I decided to go home."

Come here. Don't go!

Don't take her! Give her back!

But the conditions at home
haven't gotten any better.

I miss you two a lot.

These days,

I haven't been able to make a living,

because there are bombings every day.

"I still think Thailand is better
than how it is here."

I'm so sick of news about people dying
from fleeing gambling debts.

And now the government wants
to open legal casinos?

Think about it.

Mahasuk,

and to think we only have
illegal ones now.

Jim, Waew,

you know Jaew, Som's kid,

stole her mother's motorbike
to get money for gambling.

Just think about what would happen
if they legalized casinos.

Think about how messed up
society will become.

Right.

Casinos.

I'm going to say no.

Same here.

Hey.

What is this doing here?

Bye, Mom.

Okay.

-No.
-Take care of yourself.

I'm going to make a living, Mom.

Can't you stay?

Take care.

-Mom. Mom!
-I'll miss you too.

-Take care of your sister.
-The car's leaving, Mom.

Hurry up, Jim.

Jim.

Wait for me!

Bye, Mom.

Be careful.

Wait for me!

SIAM HOTEL

Fancy a night out?

-How much?
-It's 1,500 baht.

Oh, but you're so kind-hearted.

There's no use worrying about it.

Why, you whore.

Oh, no. I didn't mean you.

No, not you.

I just saw my old maid.

She used to flirt with Prasert.

Now she's reduced to selling herself.

Prasert, you dog.

Thank you, girls,
for coming back to help your country.

I can do anything
as long as I get to be a Thai citizen.

As of now,

Sopon is in hiding at a hotel
in Chiang Mai.

And Chaisit hasn't shown his face

because he knows he's being watched
by the police.

But next week, there will be
a Songkran event in Chiang Mai.

I'm certain that the minister

will be campaigning there.

I'm sure the three of them will meet.

This time,

-we have information from...
-That's real Burmese silver.

Pretty, right? You like it?

What is wrong with all of you?

Listen up, this is important.

This is your chance.

You can't mess up again, understand?

This time, can I have guns and bombs
to protect myself?

And an M16, an RPG, and a stinger too!

Hey.

-Oh, no!
-They're all on the floor.

Come in.

We're going shopping.

Are you sure you don't want to come?

Prakob, order some food for me.

Yes, sir.

Yes, right away, sir.

Mr. Sopon wants chicken macaroni.

Do your best.

I'll definitely do my best for Mr. Sopon.

These westerners are so handsome, boss.

-I'm laughing for the heck of it.
-Yes.

Hey!

Pookie.

My, my, Pookie, look at what we have here.

Fatty, what are you doing here?

This is a five-star hotel.

What's a country bumpkin
like you doing here?

Jeez, Black Jim,
do you live in a hole or something?

Is that why you're so stupid?

Don't you see I'm wearing
the hotel's uniform?

How am I supposed to know?

For a servant like you to be walking here,
I bet you used trickery to get in.

She doesn't know her place.

Don't know my place?

You standstill.

Wait, calm down, calm down now.

Look, the guests here
are all gentle people.

-Still a coward.
-Is that so?

-Mr. Chaisit is here.
-What?

Damn it.

Don't worry, madam.
I won't get Sopon into trouble.

You need to have power as well as money.

That's how you get richer.

Chai, didn't I tell you to come
at 10:00 p.m.?

Otherwise, the minister might not allow us
to meet him.

What's wrong?

Can't I come to say hi to my friends?

Stop talking. Let's go to my room.

Oh, my.

Your room?

Madam might misunderstand.

Please excuse me, madam.

Come on, Willy.

Waew, they're going to the room.

Don't let them, fatty. Buy me some time.

-I still haven't found the hole.
-What?

-You're still looking for the hole?
-You haven't found it?

Holes are always low.

I found it.

Thanks, Cat.

I still need to download the files.

Delay them.

Oh, this isn't it.

LIST OF PAYMENT MAKERS

What the hell is going on?

Hurry up.

Are you trying to screw me over, computer?

Damn it.

Who's playing with the elevator?

Jeez, which prankster pressed
all the elevator buttons?

Hurry up.

Please come in.

Sit down.

This is a nice room.

Wait.

Bring me more tissues.

Yes.

Sir, are you on a vacation?

I own this place.

You.

Then I quit.

Don't move.

And what's this, huh?

What is this?

Answer me!

FINANCIAL INFORMATION

What did you do to my computer?

That's proof of what you did!

What proof?

Willy, slap some sense into her.

Allow me...

to arrest you for money laundering,

bribing government officials,

and trying to open casinos.

What the hell are you talking about?

-I don't understand!
-Let's talk first!

-I'm getting a lawyer!
-Just watch!

You've got it coming to you!

You've done a service for your country.

Great job.

CHIANG MAI NEW YEAR FESTIVAL

Hello.

Please do me a favor.

Remember to help your minister.

Hey, what's going on?

What is this? What's happening?

Let me go! Who sent you? Let go!

-Who are they?
-What's happening?

They're like NGOs.

Jim!

-Waew, Waew!
-Jim!

Hey!

Stay still.

Come here! Come here, damn it!

Don't follow me.

Or your boss dies!

Don't follow!

Right.

Go.

Go.

Don't follow me.

Keep watch until I say otherwise.

Shut up!

Keep walking.

Go sit over there.

You've messed with the wrong people.

Laundering? Bribes? Casinos?
What the hell?

Hey, not so rough.

Waew,

the information you were talking about,
I just saw it today.

Do you think I'm stupid?

Sir told me

that you and that man

bribed the minister
to let you open casinos.

What bribe?

Chaisit is my friend.

He sold his business to me
to can become a full-time politician.

That's why I took him
to meet the minister.

Don't lie, Mr. Sopon.

I saw it with my own eyes.

I downloaded everything myself.

-Liar!
-You're a liar!

-Liar!
-You're a liar, baby!

Your voices are driving me nuts.

There's no information.

I just used these maids
to plant the files in your computer.

I never had anything to do with you.

But you did with my wife!

You competed in a bid
with my wife's company.

What the hell for?

That's what you get

for messing with a wife-lover like me.

You used me.

Then, the casinos...

There's no casino.

I made it all up.

These two should have been born
as buffalos

or maybe a tractor.

You put me in hot water
and you're still laughing?

Willy, take care of them.

Too bad you had a snake, bastard.

What should we do with them?

These four would have been shot dead
by Sopon and Chaisit

because they were angry
that these girls spied for me.

You, you really are evil.

Hey! You say that I'm bad,

but I rid the country of bad people.

Yeah?

These two didn't deserve to die

but without them,

my wife will have it easy.

Why did you hurt me?

-You stupid girl.
-What an idiot.

Hey!

You don't know who you're dealing with.

Hurry!

Don't run!

Hey!

Go!

Help!

Don't. He's my spy.

The four suspects have escaped.

Follow them!

I always get smelly things.

This way.

Stop!

Very delicious.

Out of the way!

Stop!

Stop!

Hands up!

Where's the flash drive?

Where? Where?

Don't worry, the patient will be okay.

You can't go with the ambulance.

Miss Paula, calm down.

It's all right, madam.

-What's going on?
-Where is the flash drive?

Give it to me now.

Hurry! Do you want to die?

-Die!
-Don't!

Jeez!

Why did you shoot?

-I was just threatening them.
-Fatty.

Fatty.

-Big Jim.
-Why did you save me, fatty?

Fatty!

No!

Fatty!

I didn't try to save you.

I was trying to get out of the way.

Why did you block me?

It hurts.

It hurts, Waew.

It hurts.

You got hit in the butt.

It hurts.

Waew, it hurts.

You just got grazed. Stop whining.

You'll die next time.

Who has the flash drive?

Give it to me now.

He's the bad guy.

He's the bad guy.

The bad guy.

This is too much.

Fatty.

People are panicking. Shut them up.

Are you okay?

-It hurts.
-Get up.

Take this!

Why did you shoot my dad?

-You're a little bitch. Go!
-Let go!

You hag, you'll die too!

Don't follow me!

Help Paula. Please, help Paula.

Come here!

Hurry!

Go!

Go!

Hey!

-Let me go!
-Hurry up!

Shit, my car got destroyed.

Prasert, get in the car.

Hurry up.

Get up.

OUI RESTAURANT

-Waew!
-Waew!

Big Jim!

Waew!

I think we'll have to go abroad
for a while, Kwan.

I'm staying here.

What do you mean?

I need to prepare a funeral

since my husband died in the line of duty.

At first, I thought you would be able
to take care of Sopon

and we would be happy together.

But you did this!

Don't you like nice girls?

Is that why you messed around
with a lowlife like her?

Women love hard and hate hard.

And you.

You're so meddlesome.

You old hag.

You heartless, menopausal bitch.

You killed your husband.

You've got a mouth on you.

Let me tell you something.

I'm...

a man.

Hey!

Get back!

Hey.

-Hey.
-What?

Hey, what did you shoot me for?

Why did you fuck my husband?

Hey!

You bitch.

Bitch!

Miss Paula.

Waew, I'm here!

Fatty!

-Waew!
-Fatty, hurry!

Miss Paula, hold on to me tight.

No, I'm scared.

Trust me. I've been doing this
since I was a girl.

Waew, just jump, I got you!

Waew!

Waew!

Come here!

Jump! I'll catch you!

One, two, three!

Hurry, call an ambulance.

Quickly. There's been an accident.

-I'm so glad.
-Miss Paula.

Waew!

Hey!

-Hey!
-What?

You're dead!

Mom, our tale is even more exciting
than the movies.

From being used
and almost not making it out alive,

everything turned out well.

Madam was so grateful to us
for saving Miss Paula's life,

so she opened a maid training school
and let us run it

to elevate it to the ISO standard
or something.

Cat, please explain.

We teach how to pronounce
English words correctly.

-Madam.
-Ma Dumb.

-Ma Dumb.
-Ma Dumb.

-Breakfast.
-Breakfadsa.

-Breakfadsa.
-Breakfadsa.

-Download.
-Dowlode.

-Secret.
-Top chickret.

-Top chickret.
-Top chickret.

-Takra.
-Bucket.

-Kalamung.
-Bowl.

-Tee kud suam.
-Brush.

-Mai kwad.
-Broom.

-Tee dood suam.
-Dood suam.

We teach how to effectively kick
the gentlemen in the balls.

One...

Three, go!

One.

We teach the proper way to use elevators.

Remember, you have to be the first
to get inside like this.

Try it.

Ready?

How was it?

Did it hurt?

I've been there before.

Just like that.

And most importantly,

we teach them how to extract secrets
to get money from the gentlemen.

What's this?

-A girl's number.
-A girl's number.

A girl's number, how much?

-It's 1,500 baht.
-It's 1,500 baht.

That's right.

And this,

a pair of panties, how much?

-It's 1,900 baht.
-It's 1,900 baht.

Yuck, it's used.

You can get 100 more for that.

But if you find money...

keep it!

Next month,

I'll send you the last bit of money
so you can get our rice field back.

I miss you and Dad very much.

P.S.

Don't worry about Jim.

She still gets to work out her tongue
with Black Jim every day.

Fatty, will you hurry up?

Oh, I couldn't possibly walk faster
because it's so dark in here.

How can it not be dark?

You're blocking the light
in this whole room.

Wow, Black Jim,

when you talk,
can you open your mouth wider?

I can't see your teeth.

I thought I was speaking to air.

I show my teeth all the time,

but you'll never be able to see them
since your fat is in the way.

It's not fat.

Don't you know there's an eclipse in here?

Jeez!

I wonder how many eclipses it would take
to swallow you up whole.

Anyway, guys like it black.

You're dead!

Subtitle translation by Tara Jittalan