Original subtitles

You still got it.

I don't know.

When I first met her, I just thought

she was this woman, this girl, in this business that

was sleazy, who needed to make a living with fucking on camera.

You know, I thought she was just a fucking dumb porno

slut.

And I was wrong.

It didn't take me long.

I mean, I didn't fall in love with her

because she was beautiful.

I fell in love with her because she had this power.

Are you visiting town, miss?

Or you- or you live here, or what?

I don't live here.

Oh.

I live in New York City.

No kidding.

Manhattan?

Manhattan.

13th Street, between 2nd and 3rd.

In Little Puerto Rico.

Oh, so on the east side of town.

East side.

Yeah, very east.

I've been there.

I've been on 3rd Avenue, as a matter of fact.

3rd Avenue?

Did you see "Lost Weekend" with Ray Milland?

Yeah.

Yeah, that's what I feel like right now.

I got another girlfriend named Tigr.

Yeah?

She's, um- she's real sweet.

Um, matter of fact, one of the reasons

why I keep coming back to San Fransisco to do films

is because of Tigr. 'Cause I'm kind of in love with her.

Wow.

And we kind of both have a love affair with each other

and drugs and films and entertainment.

And, uh, Tigr's someone that I suppose

I'll pass many years with and, uh,

grow old together or die with, or something like that,

you know.

Sounds like fun, growing old and dying

with somebody like that.

Yeah.

It would be rather nice.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Oh.

deep throat?

Uh-huh.

What's your next movie going to be?

My next movie is the movie that I'm filming

right now, at this very minute.

It's called "Truth or Fiction. "

That's what I call it.

And it's a movie about myself and my girlfriend,

who I love very much.

And it's, uh, it's- there's a microphone.

It's taking place right now.

Don't worry, you guys aren't being filmed.

It's okay.

It's sort of a surrealistic look,

I guess, at myself and my girlfriend

and the way we look at the X-rated film

business and our relationship with each other.

And it's, uh, very nice.

Is it more truth or more fiction?

I don't know, because I don't know whether I'm

more truth or more fiction.

We're not gonna die after this movie.

And what, do you think we are?

No, we're not gonna die.

I hope not.

I know we're not.

Hello operator.

Get me, um- oh, my god- 391-4761.

Thank you.

I gotta make sure everybody's there on time.

Oh, boy.

Tigr got me into this.

She got into this fucking movie "Carmen. "

I'm not an opera singer.

I don't look like an opera singer.

But, I am an actress, and I'll try to portray anything.

I love beautiful things.

I love San Francisco.

I love opera.

I love beautiful women.

I love sex.

Where else can you find a combination like that?

This is an opera town.

It's a sexy town.

I combine all these things I love in my work.

That's why I produce films.

There's no greater thrill for me than to take all the things

I love and make money at it.

I make money at this.

It's incredible.

Religious groups, they love my work.

I do things for churches.

They idolize some of the images I create.

It's therapeutic.

It helps people out.

People have better sex lives because of what I do.

But like all jobs, there's a lot of stress connected with it.

Here, that's why I had to get this phone.

This is a mobile phone.

I have to call in.

I don't have time to stop, use a payphone and pop a dime in.

I- I know.

Every time I call the operator, I don't get this.

okay, let me fill you in about the plot a little bit.

I play this opera singer named Carmen who thinks

she's a great opera singer.

In reality, she isn't.

She just got thrown out of New York,

so she started a nightclub in Cuba.

And these three bitches come to steal my art.

They eventually do.

And I have this little slave named Cupid who fucks

me in the end of the movie.

Ah, here we are.

Home sweet home for the next three days.

This is our set.

There's Tigr.

Thank God there's Tigr with the bow.

It's kind of, uh- this is Cupid.

Gonna be Cupid.

Little more, a little more emotion.

A little more projection.

Oh, thank you! Thank you!

Bellissimo!

They wash off the goop for you.

Oh, thank you. Thank you.

You started when you were 17?

I think it's high time that we head back to the back.

Well, I always, like, signed a release saying I was

older and they didn't seem-

Basically-

Atmosphere.

It's an extra part.

okay, right.

You're atmosphere for a sequence that's gonna

be shot in this other room.

And the whole idea is this Cuban club, '50s.

Do you have clothes for that?

That'd be nice.

All you really need to do- you're extras.

You're atmosphere in a dream sequence.

okay?

So there's no real dialogue.

I just want to put you on screen so I can show it

to the producers and he sees-

Look, do I not look in the camera?

Abuse me. Call me names.

Well that's not gonna be too hard to do.

okay Jeff.

I mean, really.

Pardon me.

I got to focus on you.

Put on the old x-ray specs to get a better view.

Someone- can someone look out the window and see who that is?

Gloria Swanson.

Gloria Swanson is one of my idols.

Because she has been from fucking non-talkies,

to talkies, to musicals, to stage, to everything.

And she still looked fucking good when she

was 80 years old when she died.

Martha Graham, one of my teachers, was one of my idols

as well.

James Dean, I mentioned, of course.

Ronald Reagan is one of my- it's got to my top fucking

idol, because to fulfill the fantasy totally

being President of the United States, for an actor,

must be a hit.

Really?

It must be a hit, Jon.

I've done 119 films.

Some of them, unfortunately, are not smut.

Got to pay taxes on something.

I collect snakes.

I read dictionaries, comic books, and maps.

When I first met her, I was about to leave.

And I've stuck in the business because of her.

Because she fascinates me.

She's like a snake.

Very fascinating, this woman.

And the first time I saw her, she was- I'm on this film.

It's- I'm hired.

It's called "Sulka's Wedding. "

And I was supposed to do a sex scene with this woman

I was told about.

And she comes in, leather jacket, New York, kind of punk.

I just immediately flashed to, you know, too cool.

What is a woman like this doing in a business like this?

I was cast as a little surfer girl,

and she was cast as the hard, older woman sort of type.

Which is, you know, a perfect situation for me.

The set was- it was a movie with transsexuals,

and we were the only two real women.

I was buying a pair of underwear in a lingerie shop,

and she was a saleswoman.

And then as I was trying them on,

she came in the dressing room and, um, seduced me,

and we made love.

And then the owner of the shop came in,

and there was his ugly wife, who was a production manager.

And it was a crazy scene.

Can you imagine?

35 BL and a camera crew and the director, and it was wonderful.

It wasn't pornography anymore.

Something happened.

I was completely taken.

It was the- it still is the most incredible

experience in my life.

I- I became, uh, different.

I changed.

I wanted to be like her.

I wanted to be streetwise.

I wanted to know how to use a needle.

I mean really, goddamn, irresponsible, gorgeous

sleazy porno slut.

And she has it.

And I mean, she's this woman from New York City, who's

Italian and she's hot and she speaks street language

and she could- no one could fuck with her, right?

And it's some sort of power that she has that a porno

person doesn't have.

She could transform.

She could- she could step out.

She would sometimes become like a deity, almost.

Mo homay me ma mo moo ah ay ooh.

Easy.

okay.

Yeah, Mantra, Edith, let's get this done.

This is hysterical.

okay, and action.

This person is not-

We need it sung in French.

I probably know someone that can do it

in French, who also probably has a much better voice

than I do that can do it.

Well, the people who watch these films

don't know French anyway.

Who cares!

I think it's fine.

Do it in English.

Can we sing it in English?

Just listen to it in English.

- I did listen to it in English. - You did?

- Yeah. - I didn't.

I didn't like it.

You didn't?

okay.

I also don't do well without music.

Tigr, see if she can go through it one more time.

- okay. - In English?

Yeah, do it one more time in French.

Really relax.

I can't do it in French I cannot do it in French.

You just did.

No, I didn't.

I did it in English.

I love how she takes the role, each role you give her,

and I think it's a wonderful world.

I mean, it's- it's free and it's true.

And that's the most important thing of it.

That it's free and it's true.

It's a job.

It's a job.

It's kind of- it's hard times.

People need work.

I know how to shoot film and I like

to think I can do a job right.

That's all.

Who shot at that?

So I'm-

She's standing right here.

okay.

She's standing right over here.

And we'll hold that, and then we'll move.

We'll shift over to the right a little bit.

Well anyway, like I said.

You asked me.

What did you- what was it you asked me?

I don't know.

I said I really do always use my name.

Whether it be Sophia's chest or Jon Holmes's weenie,

I think makeup is makeup.

But I really do think there's a lot about the business

that people really should know.

What the people go through.

Now there is having sex with somebody you've never even met.

And sometimes how fun it is, and sometimes how not.

Right, Mitch? - What?

I didn't even hear you.

I said having sex with a perfect stranger,

what's it really like?

I don't know, it's like covering my pimples on my ass.

Well, I've done that a million times.

I know.

It's just like a cartoon.

Ow.

Oh, sorry.

I know.

Oh, I remember.

You were talking about that-

That's right.

This way?

Zipper in front, right?

Oh boy!

Avon calling.

Ding dong.

Do you know, really, when I started,

I really had this impression of the talent.

It was gonna be a bus load of people from the Tenderloin

with gonorrhea and terminal syphilis.

And they're not.

Some of them are very intelligent.

I would say some, anyway.

I'm sure lots of people with herpes are very intelligent.

That's right, I know you're talking about me.

That's right.

No, but I mean the people in the business aren't what

people think. - No, they're not.

See what I mean?

Is that what it is?

What?

So, uh- so Mitch is kind of the perfect fantasy,

because she really is the kind of person that you can just,

you know, kind of fuck.

And it's great.

You don't get stuck to her.

You don't have to worry about the classic,

what happens after they live happily ever after, type thing.

So she's the perfect one night stand.

And she really is on all the time,

and she's available and accessible.

And you just really don't find many people around like that.

I don't know how she does it.

I don't know how she survives, but evidently she does.

Everywhere we went, we documented what we were doing.

We knew that we wanted to make erotic films

that showed the truth.

And what we wanted to do was achieve

on film what we felt together.

I mean, the things that we did together were incredible.

We wanted to make a film out of it.

And we had all these words, and we'd go places.

And always, Mitch would want to have pictures taken,

and actually said, I love to do that.

And they became our storyboard for our little movie.

Our little autobiography, like, that we

were doing about ourselves.

We acted out scenarios.

One time she would be like a drunk Puerto Rican transsexual.

We would feel like we were like witches you or Indians

or something, 8,000 years ago.

We went to Sharon Tate's house and we acted out this scenario

of murdering each other.

Only it was like- you know, it's like our little secret

with each other.

She would become some bizarre character.

And I would be- I always pretty much played the straight.

Mitch became magic several times, or something like that.

It's not an honest thing that this pornography is showing.

It's a desperate eroticism.

She has the potential to be erotic beyond what

that business has any concept of.

It's gone!

Everything!

Every fucking thing is gone.

Want to listen to some music?

No, I don't.

Let go of me.

You're hurting me.

Let go!

You're hurting me.

Let go.

You're hurting me.

You want it.

No, I don't want it.

Just like all the rest of the pigs.

I'm not a pig, and I don't want you to hurt me.

Tough.

You've been hurting people all your fucking life.

I don't hurt anybody.

I make them feel good.

Take it.

I make them forgive them what they want.

I don't hurt them.

You're getting what you want, aren't you?

You always get what you want.

Ow!

See, why don't you just take it?

That's what you want.

Just fucking take it from me.

You dirty fucking man dick.

You just want to stick it inside me.

Yeah, well, go ahead.

Go ahead.

I fucking dare you.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,

and welcome to the Chi, Chi, Chi, Chi Club,

otherwise known as the pre-wrap wrap party.

I thought I'd introduce you to a few of the more interesting

folk in this industry.

Can I ask you a question?

Sure.

What did you feel about the scene that we did?

What did you think about that?

Do you have anything to say about that?

Well, it just wasn't- that scene

really is not typical of 99 and 9/10%

of the men in this business.

As you well know, and most of the women know,

the men in this business are generally-

Pussycats.

Yeah, they're lovable guys.

And they're not women haters.

And they're not rapists, and they're

not creepy slobs that are out to beat the shit out of women.

What do you think about getting

paid for using your cock?

If somebody wants to pay me to use my cock, that's fine.

That's pretty much about what I think

about my tits and my butt.

That's right.

And you've got the best tits and butt in town.

I've never seen anything erotic in all

these 10 years and 400 films.

Why isn't it erotic?

Because it isn't sensuous.

We have to have the cum shots on the face.

We have to-

Are you talking about the gynecological

shots?

Yeah, I never knew what a man looked like like that.

I went home and to my wife said, is that

what I look like from behind?

I look like dog balls.

Why do they always shoot that?

I've had guys that I've worked with, it's like okay.

You may be the star.

You're the woman.

You're getting paid big bucks, Mitch.

I'm only getting like half your pay per day.

But I get paid for my dick, and I don't have a hard on,

and you suck my dick right now.

Get on your knees and thank God that you can do it.

Yeah.

Because I've got to get the hard on and I have to cum,

so my job is harder.

I resent that.

I mean, I've done that kind of thing before.

And especially like not really having to fuck,

since I had herpes at the time.

You know, I couldn't have anyway.

But just like,.

It's fine with me.

Were you getting into it as Saint May,

or were you getting into it as Jennifer?

As a camp personality.

But a personality nonetheless.

Yeah.

Which I permanently am.

The first time I saw it, I got sick.

You threw up or something?

- Yeah. - That's right.

You used not want to come on the set

when they were shooting.

The very first time, I thought okay.

This is a challenge.

It's like, it's healthy.

It's a challenge.

This is absurd.

This is degrading.

This is disgusting.

But how can I be a whole person if I haven't faced up to this

and dealt with it?

I mean, a fascination with the low life, a fascination

with sleaze- I mean, how many times have you not

wanted to work in a restaurant?

Because you could dance topless if you wanted to,

and it's a lot different scene.

And I have this desire to take those challenges and go for it.

That's all.

Do you have anything to say?

Do you not want this to happen, or what?

Yeah, I like it.

But it happens.

Well, what did you think?

Is this is the first X-rated film set you've been on?

Yeah.

What'd you think?

Or you didn't know?

I like it in a way.

Have you ever gone to see the movies?

As, you know, a man?

Twice a year.

And why twice- why those two times did you go?

To jerk off?

Um, why did I go?

Bachelor party?

No.

I was bored and I went to the movies.

That's nice.

Yeah.

And did you like what you saw those two times?

I got hard for five minutes.

That's good.

At least a hot five minutes is all I want, anyway.

I mainly-

Are you in character all the time?

In character?

Well, in sex I'm never in character.

Me, I can't have sex as Sharon Mitchell, right?

It's like, I have to have sex as Carmen or fucking

Tallulah or somebody else.

Because I can't get fucked in front of the camera

unless I'm that- I'm an actress.

I really am an actress.

Fucking you limp, right, for half the day.

They can't really enjoy it.

Or they couldn't be acting.

It's the question about acting in real life.

They're doing a very intimate thing,

and yet it's being called acting.

Is it enjoyable thing?

Is it pleasurable the way private sex can be?

Or is it truly an acting experience for them?

Who are you when you're off screen with somebody you like?

I can't say that, because I'm always a character.

You're always your character off screen?

I'm always- I'm off screen right now and I'm a character.

Is that okay with you?

I don't know any other way.

Really?

I get paid to wait around between shots.

I don't get paid to act.

I do it all the time.

What'd you think?

Great.

Very, very, very good.

See you at 7:30 sharp.

Crank it up.

Let Carmen hold you.

Let Carmen touch you.

Pull that cape off.

okay.

Hold the position.

You use your eyes more.

She was using her eyes.

way too much.

Is that all right for you, camera?

Fine, fine.

You got a good take?

All right, we'll go on from here.

I need Carmen to look at-

Where's Becky?

You know where she is?

Yeah.

Where?

Looks like she's over in the corner.

She's trying to find a vein.

No.

For the last half hour.

Oh.

Tigr, sometimes I get the feeling

you don't love me anymore.

That's funny, Mitch.

I wonder where you get that idea.

Oh, I don't know.

The way you walk.

You know what we should do?

We should go to Florida again, so that you could get healthy.

It would be great for your liver.

Yeah, you're right.

It would be good.

And we could go and- and hang out, and watch them

inject the trees and stuff.

And we could go see Bobby's mom.

Who's dying.

Who's dying. And hang out.

Just sort of have a little honeymoon again.

That'd be nice.

But I'll need $300, because I already paid for the tickets.

Can you give me another advance?

I already paid for them.

Oh, Mitch.

Mitch, you already paid for the tickets?

Yup.

I really don't have any money.

I mean, the petty cash that I have is

already promised to Jon Martin.

Tigr, I love you.

I love you, too.

How do I know you're telling me the truth?

Because I love you.

I do.

I do.

You know, if you don't pay Jon, I will die.

I'll pay him.

- I'll kill you. - I know you will.

I'll fucking kill you.

But you can kill me inside.

Come on.

Forwards.

And backwards.

And forwards.

There we go.

And backwards.

Look at this extension.

Good body, like a butterfly.

If you could tear the muscles apart,

you'd find little snakes writhing beneath the skin.

I love being in front of the camera.

I love to have sex in front of the camera.

That one moment.

That one moment.

That you just look, and you know you're being filmed.

You can't look at it.

You can't look at the camera.

But you know that you're being filmed

by this big, black, expensive piece of machinery.

Nothing can touch it.

Nothing can touch the feeling.

Not you.

Not anyone.

Not even the cameraman.

And you're all on these little fragments,

little pieces of film, little, little, little, tiny ones.

And then it gets blown up.

Bigger than life.

Bigger than light onto the screen.

I don't do what I do very well, so I

don't really expect anybody else around here to do it either.

Well, I wouldn't say that.

What a coincidence.

Oh, shit.

Yeah, well you must want something.

Just you.

Come on, honey.

Don't feed me those lines.

I've heard them all before.

It's not a line.

Hey, I got another announcement.

All right.

I want, I want- wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

I've got to make some announcements.

Just a minute.

There's been trouble on this set here, in the past.

There's been a lot of trouble.

A lot of you may know about the incident.

We're using the code word yellow.

Oh, David.

Do you mind?

Thank you.

We're using the code word yellow.

When you come back in here, when you come back in here,

you use the word yellow at the door.

okay.

I want to really make this final,

this final shoot, really work.

okay?

You've been beautiful so far.

Let's really make this good.

You paying attention now? - Yeah.

Come on. Come on.

I want it hot, I want it clean, I want it tight,

and everybody's doing their job.

We could do it if somebody

stops talking on the set all the goddamn time.

And that somebody'll stop talking,

and stop signing your checks, too.

Can you dig that?

Roll the camera!

Let's go!

So we got that all together now?

I want a good shoot.

okay, let's go.

I feel good about it.

This is awards.

This is awards.

Hey, go smoke your fucking cigar

and let us get the picture done, will you?

15.

Adam, take two.

Action!

You just have to learn how to talk to her.

You can have anything you want, but you

have to know how to get it.

Now, what can you do for me?

I can set you up.

For life.

Set me up?

For life.

Then set me up.

- Unzip his pants. - Just go through with it.

Let's go. Come on.

She's okay.

We're going to go down to business.

Keep rolling. Keep it rolling.

We're going from here.

Let's just go on.

I'm not going to do it.

- Yes, you are. - I'm not gonna do this now.

- Yes. - Yes you are.

Come on, we're going straight through.

Huh?

We're going straight through.

Isn't that right?

Let's go. - Uh-uh.

Come on, unzip his pants and let's do this.

No, forget it.

Come on.

What?

Come on.

We gotta do this.

No.

Come on.

Listen, you knew this was going to happen.

We're going straight through with it.

I didn't know this was gonna happen.

I didn't know it was gonna happen with him here.

With who here?

Who?

Mr, you know, Mr. Blackstone, or whatever his name is.

All right, well-

Let's come on.

No, I'm not going to do it.

I'm not gonna do this.

What do you want to do here, anyway man?

She's going to give you a blow job.

Now wait a second now, listen.

I've got two sex scenes. Two.

That's not my problem.

I'm supposed to make you go through the blow job.

Now if you want-

Like I said, in this scene later

off the set.

No, he's got nothing to do with it.

I'm not doing two.

You're not paying me for fucking two.

You're getting one.

Get out of here.

So you fucking figure it out.

You decide what you want to do.

Easy.

Let me know.

Calm.

Calm down.

Mr. Jones, let us take-

Calm.

We'll take care of everything.

You take it easy.

What's the problem?

Don't ask me what the problem is.

What's the problem?

I don't know, what's your problem?

What's the problem?

I'm not going to do anything around you, okay?

Well, can we get somebody else?

What, get somebody else for me, or get somebody else for you?

Can't get anybody else for me.

I write the checks.

Anybody- oh, let's just go to the Howard

Johnson and pick somebody up.

- or we're gonna have to shoot the last six scenes over.

Jon?

Where's Jon?

I don't want to do this stuff.

Where'd he go?

I gave you the gum, for Christ's sakes.

What else do you need?

Why don't you just go get one of your junkie girls, you know,

who will do it for $0.50?

Wait, wait, wait.

We'll pull her out, all right?

- You get one of them. - okay.

Come on.

Mantra, let's go in the makeup room.

Get her out of here. Get her off the set.

Fuck you.

Get her off the set.

Tigr, get her off the set.

Come on, Mantra.

Please?

Where do you get these people? What is this?

Where do you get this person?

He's the worst sleazebag in the business.

- Get her out of here. - Come on.

Jesus Christ!

That man is an asshole!

He's a fiend!

Okay, you're looking at the bananas.

Look at the bananas.

You've never seen bananas like these.

A little more leg.

Don't be shy.

It's your skin.

It's part of your body.

Okay, lift your other leg up.

One banana.

I've got a great idea.

You get off one banana here.

I'm gonna get, sort of, like you're outside.

The wind's blowing.

So I've got this fan.

Squat down.

No no, other knee up, too.

That's it, good.

Let me see a little more leg.

Let that thing blow.

That's it, beautiful.

That's what I want.

Good.

Mouth open.

Ooh, nice lips.

Change your position.

Lift your skirt up more.

Let me see a little more skin.

You have nice legs.

Show them.

Give me a flash, a flash of your skirt.

Real fast.

Lift it up.

Can I get this tree?

Yeah, sure.

What do you want to do with the tree?

I'm gonna use it downstairs.

Ugh, all these interruptions.

Look, this woman is a future star.

Do you realize that?

Right here.

Ah.

Don't listen to her.

Fortunately, she doesn't have to pay the bills.

All right, can I have a little more chest please?

It's okay.

It's okay.

These pictures are just for us, just to work together.

I think you have a future in this.

I know, but I read this article where they do that to this girl

and they film it. I don't want to do that.

No, no. I would never do that.

- No, swear to God. - A model's release.

You need a model's release.

Really.

You'll get paid.

I really- you've got to trust me.

You're really beautiful, and I'm really sincere.

Aw.

I am.

I am!

Oh look, really?

That's beautiful.

That's beautiful.

Don't you think I'm sincere?

Just put your hand- let it drop natural.

Let it drop natural.

okay, natural.

Ooh, nice.

Good, now let it drop.

Just pull it down, just a tad.

Be loose and easy and open and free.

For better stills, you mean?

For better stills and a better future.

A future doing what?

A future.

We're living in the then and now.

You know?

So, what we're doing now- ooh, wait a minute.

There's some yuck under your arms there.

Ugh, grody.

What- it's part of your snake.

- Uh-huh. - okay.

All right, a little off this.

You can trust me.

Don't worry about it.

Well, but Harry Adams told me that-

Harry Adams.

okay, if you know anything about Harry Adams,

he tells that to everybody.

He badmouths everybody in the business to suit

his own purposes and ends.

Can you dig it?

But he said that you do the same thing,

and I don't understand.

Well, look, what's your feeling?

Well, I mean, I trust him when I'm with him

and I trust you when I'm with you, but I don't know.

Okay, you're not with him now, so trust me.

And when you're with him, trust him.

But what has he ever done for you?

Could you release your hand there?

Well, he's nice.

Well, I'm nice too, but I can get you work.

I mean, I could really do something for you

and help you with your career.

Well, but I don't want to make porn movies.

I do other things than porn movies.

Really?

Sure.

Rice Krispies commercials, Wheat Chex, Ivory Snow.

I'd love to do a TV commercial.

- Would you really? - Yeah.

All right, then let me see the rest of your legs and the rest

your body.

With no flash.

Pose, Mitch.

Pose.

Things aren't worth doing if there's no one there to watch

it, if there's no one there to document it,

or there's no- it's Tigr and Mitch.

It was like the Tigr and Mitch show.

Want to take a pic?

We created a lot of gossip and dish and talk.

And we became an item in the business, which is like,

in a way, useful.

Because that's- I mean, when people stop talking,

then you start worrying.

And after a while, I realized that this is like a romance

designed for the business.

It's the porno- porno moment.

And its purpose was to deceive people in the business,

or to distract people in the business.

I mean, we became, like, partners so that-

God damn, I was just- speak of the devil!

The people that would hit on you,

or the men that would hit on you in a hotel room,

waiting for your call or something,

I mean we had an excuse because we were lovers.

So we would be left alone.

It's not a 7-11, right?

No, no.

Boy, this one's great.

- You like that one, huh? - Yeah, it's my favorite.

So, are you going to do a thing with Candy Barber?

No, I wouldn't work with Candy Barber.

She's- hi, I'm Candy Barber, and I

have nothing between my ears.

No, listen.

She's outside.

She's waiting-

Nice stage, right?

Is it a big stage?

Yeah, it's a big stage.

Nice sound system?

Yeah.

It's a- there's a big stage, and then a runway

- that comes out. - Oh, a runway.

Great, okay.

You've got a big stage on the front of that,

but there's a set.

- As long as it's a nice- - You sure?

Yeah.

No, five shows is fine, as long as it's a nice stage.

What I want to do is double it up with another show,

so we've got a total of 10 shows a day.

okay, let me see-

I want to do that- how about

a love act with you and Tigr?

A love act?

We can do a love-hate act.

- How about a hate act? - Come on.

A hate act-

No on has ever done a hate act.

Give me the real hot little sexy things.

Act.

We'll do.

Yeah, let's do it.

You want to? - Yeah.

All right, we'll do it.

You want to?

okay, we'll do it.

Look at how ugly Tigr looks.

Tigr never looks ugly.

With the fucking braided hair.

No, I love that.

She looks like a Botticelli angel.

Oh, you just want to get laid, Mantra.

I mean, let's face it.

The day I can't do this, is the day that I get very sad.

Can you make the egg disappear?

- Huh? - Can you make the egg disappear?

No, no, no. I don't mean that.

But here.

What can you do?

That's the reverse of laying an egg.

Let's see.

I can do it.

Let's see you do it.

I could do it!

Maybe.

Let's see it.

How much?

Huh?

- Maybe I can. - How much will we pay you?

Maybe we'll find you some drugs.

Oh, okay.

I'll give you a dollar, what the hell.

A dollar?

I'll take it, man.

Make the dollar disappear.

Make the dollar disappear.

Make the egg disappear.

What did I win?

A dollar, an egg, right?

A dollar, an egg, and what else?

Uh.

It's a constant performance.

And she really loves it, and she really does it well.

And they were the audience, and we were the performers.

I mean I was like a partner in performance

with her for the rest of the world.

And drugs play a very big part in this,

because it's- you have to remember

that every time you shoot up, it's like a truth serum.

And so we would confess to one another these certain emotions

or whatever.

And there was like this moment of intense

like, it's either now or never!

I've got to tell you everything, or I've

got to make love to you right now,

or I've got to whatever it is.

And it was like at that point, only I was thinking in the vein

that I was in love with her.

And so, you know, I wanted to-

That's the college you got in.

- I wanted to make love to her.

Come on in.

I'm almost ready.

Tigr, watch.

How Mitch puts on makeup in a cab.

In a cab.

In the taxi cab.

Cocksucker red, I'm sure.

No, it's pussy pink.

I wouldn't be cocksucker red, what do you think I am?

Mm-hmm.

okay.

Mac?

Hey, Mitch.

What?

I got a 72 year old guy who's gonna

shoot me some pool for 5 bucks.

Good, maybe I could fuck him for 500.

Let's go.

That's it.

I would still hang out with you if you didn't

play rock and roll maybe.

Oh, yeah, sure.

You'd drop while I was washing dishes and singing my song?

Sure.

We get something to eat.

You pass me your dirty dishes.

We slip back into the back room for a few minutes,

say hi to an old friend.

Show you the view?

Yeah, that old- my favorite view.

Your favorite view.

I had left Mitch in my room before going out.

I went out in a rush, and she wanted to be quiet.

And when I got back and the money was gone.

She wasn't here.

Right away I knew what had happened.

I mean, you know how drugs go and how Yankees act

in certain- at certain states.

And when they need it, they get it, no matter how.

The director was on drugs a lot of the time,

as was a lot of the cast and crew.

Made for a bad working situation.

When Mitch didn't show up for the shoot,

we were kept waiting around on the set for four hours.

My sound man partner had just flown in from four days of work

in Los Angeles.

He was completely tired.

He'd been there since 5:00, making it around nine hours,

I believe, that he hung out.

You gave her the money?

I gave her an advance.

You fool, you.

Now you've cost me more.

This is a day of shooting without her.

And that money doesn't grow on trees.

I've got to answer to people, you know?

New York people.

You know, the east?

You know the people I'm talking about?

I'm looking.

I've called every fucking number I have, Jerry.

I don't have another-

You have contacts.

Come on, she's your best buddy.

Mac, where is she?

She'll probably stay up all night with friends of hers

from New York.

Well, you know all her friends from New York.

No, I don't.

See, I've met them.

Do you want me to wrap?

I just want to know if we should wrap and save them

for- you know, save the time, so we don't

have to pay them overtime.

And wait 'til we find Mitch.

What the fuck is this?

You know what we got?

We got 9,000 feet of where's Mitch?

Clear the fucking table up.

Look at this god damn trashy-ass food.

Get it out of here!

I'm tired.

Crew, wrap this fucking place.

9,000 feet of film.

Where is she?

Thanks so much for precious.

She's precious.

Thank you.

Sarah Mitchell.

Some girls just can't wait for this back here.

All right, everybody get in the act now.

We're talking about high blood pressure.

One, two, three, four.

I get a high blood pressure when you call my name.

Oh, I get a-high blood pressure when you call my name.

I get a-high blood pressure.

I get a-high blood pressure when you're in my arms.

My eyes start to jumpin' up and down in shame.

My heart starts to thumpin' up and down in pain.

Chills run up and down my spine, it's true.

My face started sweatin' and it's all because of you.

I get a-high pressure when you call my name.

I get ah-ah-ah blood pressure.

Oh.

I get a-high blood pressure.

I get a-high blood pressure when you're in my arms.

My eyes start to jumpin' up and down in shame.

My heart starts to thumpin' up and down in pain.

Chills run up and down my spine, it's true.

My face started sweating-

Oh, fuck.

Thanks for nothing.

Anytime.

Mitch, I'm getting worried about you.

Don't worry about me.

Don't worry about me.

Uh-uh.

Worry about yourself.

Or better yet, don't worry at all.

All right?

That's very funny.

I'm just telling you, you don't show up.

Everyone's going, where's Mitch?

And you're blaming me for people saying you-

What the fuck?

Who says I'm blaming you?

Listen, listen.

You blame me because you tell me I tell people you get high,

and this and that.

I'm fucking up your reputation.

Who didn't show up on the fucking set today?

You do-

Who was in jail?

You know, Mitch-

I out the window.

And I put myself in jail, first of all.

okay? - Yeah, right.

okay?

That's why I didn't show up on the set, all right?

'Cause no one came to bail me out until late.

All right?

Second of all, what is this shit now?

Now this is the real core of the fucking reason.

What is this shit about- first of all,

you do tell people I get high, Tigr.

You fucking do.

You tell me people in the fucking industry

that I get high.

You know why?

Why?

Because they know anyway.

Man, you can't do a fucking sex scene with god damned

fucking tracks on you arm.

You think I'm the only one that tells everybody?

You fucking broadcast it without even knowing it.

Well maybe I'm fooling everybody

except myself, darling.

Yeah, I think that's it.

Do me one favor.

I don't fucking broadcast it by opening my mouth.

Well, I'm translucent.

And if you feel fucking-

I'm a piece of translucent shit.

I tell people what's going on in my life.

Maybe that's why I'm not fucking in jail tonight.

Well good.

Maybe that's why I was in jail last night.

Thanks for the money.

I'll take it out of petty cash.

And goodbye.

Big two.

It's pot.

Hey Tigr.

Hey, Nick.

Feel like throwing some dice?

Not really.

Why, what's popping?

What happened?

I don't know.

I just don't know why she does this.

I don't know why she does it.

Are you talking about the girl again?

I just rolled a seven.

God damn it.

I mean, it's like, I mean she fucks off camera the same way

she fucks on camera.

So you don't ever really know what's real.

'Cause it's all rehearsed.

So she's pissed at me because I don't- because I

don't hide about what's happening and shit.

Then fuck her.

Fuck her, man.

She's the one that's fucking up her life, not me.

Do you know what I mean?

Boxcars.

Lucky I didn't get that on the first roll.

I don't know.

I mean, I really love her.

You think I love her?

Does she think I love her?

I don't know if love her.

I mean, I love this part of her.

But, uh, it's possible that we never

actually really were lovers.

You know, if you keep talking about that shit,

man, I'm gonna be losing.

Every time I confront her with this shit-

I got a six. I gotta get a six again.

You know?

When I bring it up to her-

Look, I'm talking about dice, you're talking about the Mitch.

Of course I love her.

Of course I love her.

But I also hate her, I guess.

It's the same old thing.

Oh, shit.

What the-

Look, I want to shoot some dice, all right?

okay, I got a six.

I want to get another six, all right?

Look at that.

See it says frog legs man?

They talking about me.

They talking about me.

This is my record, see?

You know?

You're taking up screen time.

Hey.

Is this a commercial for the fucking?

Who are you?

Bring the camera over there.

Don't listen to her.

You're talking to Floyd here.

Who are you laughing at?

I'm laughing at you, shit.

Talk about that French whore on the record now.

Do you want me to still do it?

- Mantra? - What?

Will you come back?

- Uh-huh. - Are you serious?

Yeah.

Really?

Yeah, I'm not gonna do it with any men, okay?

I'll do the scene with Mitch, because.

- Really? - Yeah.

Um.

Is that all right?

okay, Sonia.

Can she do it?

You're drunk.

No, I'm not drunk.

Everybody else?

You got releases.

You can go. You're done.

You're out.

Thanks a lot.

All right.

I appreciate it.

In fact, beat it.

Now I got-

No, seriously.

Because now I got, my actor just came back

and I gotta get this thing- you're really gonna do it?

Yeah, okay.

But you understand that I'm just gonna do the scene with- hi.

I'm just gonna do the scene with Mitch.

Uh-huh.

And I don't want Graystone anywhere on the set.

All right?

okay.

See you guys.

Come on, go.

All right, come on.

- We can do it that way? - Great.

That's fine with me.

I really appreciate that you came back.

okay, I mean I want to do it.

Hey, get into makeup.

Hey.

I'll call up the stunt cunt!

I don't have to do it right?

Yeah.

In the bathroom.

You don't mind?

I appreciate it.

Great, thank you.

You're lying through your teeth.

You me.

Under L.

Right there.

Oh, Tipsy's back to Europe.

Yeah, yeah.

okay.

So, Tra, why, why, why are you back here?

I need the money.

After all of that fucking hollering

and pissing and moaning?

I need the money.

How am I gonna pay my rent?

Yeah, I know.

Well, I actually appreciate it.

But I mean, you know I'm not doing things with men anymore.

I won't do it while Graystone's here.

And that's what that is.

Yeah, he's not here now.

Good.

I can't stand him.

How do you think I feel?

No, but really, I thought that was it for you

in the business forever.

I wanted to work with Mitch.

So I'm gonna do it, okay?

okay.

We're working on it right now.

This fucking thing.

Do you want this already, or should I-

is it too early for the smoke?

Uh, a little early.

Mitch isn't even awake yet.

You look good in black.

I would stick more with the darker colors.

I'm serious.

Really?

Yeah, its color coordinated with the roots.

Are you gonna be my new wardrobe adviser?

Mm-hmm.

I'm gonna be a lot of things for you.

Oh, okay.

Jerry of London?

Jerry- - Gerald.

Gerald of Market Street?

Gerald Graystone Exteriors.

Have you got a stage name, or is that your stage name?

Blow dryer?

It depends if I want everyone to know I'm in what I'm in.

Jennifer Blowdryer is good.

Good.

Do you use a Blowdryer?

I was in a punk band called The Blowdryers

for a year and a half.

You play an instrument?

I play keyboards, but I sang in that band.

I play.

Mm, learn something new everyday.

Nice nostrils.

Danke schoen, mein.

This thing here- we're just gonna leave it on here?

Somebody's gonna bump into it and knock it off

and burn the shit out of this.

Is there any fucking way we can open the window?

I like that guy who sits in a wheelchair with a cage

around him and monkeys flying at his body,

and he gives all the money to a boy's home.

Have you seen him?

No.

Are those by the?

No, he's been on his own tangent.

I like the girls that look suburban

and have fuzzy sweaters and their babies.

And they have.

That's how you know there's really depression.

You look good.

I like this Polaroid because we look like these two

sort of Renoirs- Gauguin people,

and my tits are really hanging down.

That's what I like about it.

No, this is-

Look at my hair.

This is what girls look like.

okay?

This is particularly what you look

like with two different faces.

This. - No.

Two different dimensions.

That's what you're gonna look like when you're 40.

And this little flipper here, this kind

of hand here, yeah.

And one tit lower than the other.

In the eighth dimension.

And your stomach's out.

My stomach's out.

I look like one of those pre-Columbian figurines,

where my tits are in the same dimension as my stomach.

And I like Julia, here.

Our fearless leader.

Huh?

Our fearless leader.

Our fearless leader.

She looks really serious there.

She's as a serious as a heart attack.

What was she- what was she was saying when she was there?

She was saying, is it okay?

Is it okay?

And I was going, yes, I'm fine.

Mark it.

Scene 35.

Rolling.

A little smoke in here would be nice.

She was an opera singer.

Who?

The woman.

What woman?

It was the first time I was in love.

Or what I thought was love.

Have you ever been in love, Mantra?

Mm, I guess not really.

Have you ever made love with a woman before?

No.

Oh.

Will you show me?

Would you like to?

We have no choice.

Don't giggle.

Why not?

I like it when you giggle.

What might happen?

So girls.

I need a little more slime, sleaze, you know what I mean?

Turn so that you have a little more-

okay, good.

Right, sit on her face and spread your lips

and angle to the light.

Flatten your left hand.

Flatten your left hand.

okay, that's it.

Good.

I'm flashing.

Mitch?

Yes?

Have an orgasm.

We've got plenty, boss.

We've got the 10 o'clock news next door, Phil

Get somebody over there and promptly shut it off.

All right.

I'm coming, coming, coming.

I'm still not believing this.

Ugh.

Hey, come on.

And cut.

I'm out of film.

And Mantra's, Mantra's, Manta's like,

I'm coming, coming, coming.

Coming, coming, coming.

I'm coming, coming, coming.

Smut.

You know.

Only we lost the director, so-

okay.

okay?

Mitch, you know what to do.

Make Mantra, you know.

Big enough balls.

I can't do it.

When the camera's-

I have big balls.

Okay.

Hey Mitch, you want to come back and- and, uh, Mitch?

Can you come back and let's- can we film it?

Can you please-

Where would you like it?

On Mantra.

It's nothing new for you, I heard.

Go ahead and do this and come back-

I'll be right back.

So we can get out of here.

You can record the piss if you want.

I know what you're going to say.

And don't say it.

But I never get poison oak either.

I mean, god forbid we should either die

young or live to be old ladies.

I don't know.

But I don't care anymore.

I don't have to.

You know why I hate you?

Because you have this talent.

And you- you are a failure, though.

Do you know that?

I mean, do you know what I'm saying?

Yeah, I do. And it's okay now.

You know why?

Because I fucking understand that, you know?

And when you understand something,

even if the big problems to anyone

else or however it seems to be a problem,

whether you should care or whether you're upset,

or whether you're a failure.

When you realize that,.

It's all right, you know?

It's a situation, it's not a problem.

You either deal with it, you either die, or you

walk around fucking dead.

And I'm not going to be embarrassed and walk

around dead like Verinatti.

So I'm going to sit here and just

fucking show people about it.

Because some- one person is gonna get off on it

that's gonna be this way.

That's like me.

And say, oh, that fucking asshole is still alive

and had the balls to do this.

I'm gonna be all right.

One person is going to do it, just one.

And that's all right.

Because more than one person jerks off to me.

And that's great, but I hate that, you know?

The Sharon Mitchell they see is not Sharon Mitchell.

And that's why I am, maybe, what you call a failure.

But you just say that because you're talking about yourself.

You know, and I can rationalize my way out of anything.

And I could hurt you, or whatever.

I don't fucking know what to do.

I don't know what to do.

You don't know what to do Tigr.

You know what that is?

That's it.

That's all there is to it.

But there's more than that.

There's so much more.

You know what it could be?

This guy on a plane said, it could

be just waking up every day.

It could be why I couldn't get on the fucking plane,

but because I said my cat's name is Mario, that meant something.

The whole world is backwards.

It could be why you told me never to learn how

to fucking operate a computer.

It's important to me to make it clear.

Isn't that funny?

That's all it is.

Oh, girl.

Oh, man.

You fucking scare me, too.

I don't know why.

'Cause I- I can be a snake, you know?

The last time I was in your bed with you and like fooling

around with you, you know, I was like pulsating with you

like a fucking snake, you know?

Did you dig that I was doing that?

You fucking god damn fucking asshole.

Because I was trying to fucking

think of something to do on the stage.

Cold.

I hate cold.

I can't deal with cold.

But why can't we fucking-

Because we gotta do it alone.

But we gotta know that there's somebody

else there doing it alone, too.

But you need to know that you don't

really feel good on some level.

Don't you know that?

I know that, because I'm always fucking acting.

That's all I know how to do.

You're an asshole for doing this to me, Mitch, you know?

Wasn't fair.

It's not right!

You're doing the same thing to Mantra.

You're drawing her in into your little game, you know.

That's not true.

All you can do is perform.

All you do is perform.

You have no real person.

God, you know, I really believed in you once.

I really fucking believed in you.

That you, you know, you had some seed

of like, power that was going to do something,

change the business.

And all you- you're not gonna change the business.

You're stuck.

You're fucking stuck in the business.

And you're trying to get me stuck with you,

and you'll try to get everyone else stuck with you

that you can.

It's not true.

That's what you can say right now and right here.

But girl, look at your life.

I beg to differ.

I love you anyway.

But I'm done.

Yeah, well you have bow legs!

I know why she did this.

She did this to get me in front of the camera again.

Yeah, to get me in front of the fucking camera.

I don't want to do it.

I just want to put it on film and stow

it away and just leave it be.

Yeah.

I've always wanted to put it on film.

Mitch.

What the fuck's the matter with you?

There's a camera here.

I need a drink.

You're always trying to find the perfect hit funk, you know?

Yeah, so?

Feels like an excuse.

What do you mean?

Always try to look for something.

Trying to find people to enjoy it with.

Trying to think that it wasn't a phase.

And now it is a phase, and it's over.

I know.

I know that it's over, and it feels really safe.

But I'll tell you, for the first time

you didn't want to get high and I wanted you to get high.

You know?

For that very reason.

Because that's what's going to happen.

We have to- I fucking have to get high again.

And just say it on film.

Yeah, sure.

This is the truth.

Mitch.

No, Tigr.

Shut up, man.

This is what you fucking want, this is what you've got.

You don't have to put it in, you can give it to me.

I'll put in my movie.

But god damn it, if I'm fucking getting high,

I'm jeopardizing my career.

But as I said in the cab scene, there's

no legitimate and illegitimate shit.

There's no real or anything.

No one dragged you into anything.

This was my dick.

I fucked her with my dick.

And she loved it.

And I waited.

I waited for this fucking relationship to mature.

And I was a spy, and I didn't dig it all that much, you know.

What do you mean?

I dug the image, but I had my fucking mike on when Mantra was

talking to me about when she was, like,

film talking about that man that she hated so much.

But she really said some things when I was miked.

About the real thing.

The real fucking movie within a movie within a movie.

It's fucking timeless, just like this woman

laying here, freaking out.

It's timeless.

I'm not freaking out.

She's bugged, but this is fucking what it's like.

It's real.

Uh-uh.

I just want to put it on film.

And it was beautiful, panning up from that kid.

Because that was a kid and that was sex and that's what it was.

There was too much dialogue.

You know, this is fucking real.

Are you rolling?

Mitch, are you ready?

I am rolling.

Camera roll six, channel five, scene 24, take 18.

Set.

To the movie business.

You know?

Something to fit in every hole.

I feel like we've totally blown up,

but we still have another chance to do what we have to do.

And I want to do it.

I want to do this movie.

I want to make a movie that shows that you don't have to do

all these holes and they have to find new holes

and have to keep creating new holes.

You know?

It's just in, out.

Mm, you know?

God damn it.

Cut the camera.

Totally, totally, naked.

You hear me?

Mitch?

There's one thing, though.

I want to learn, I want to learn,

I want to learn how to do it.

I want to learn technique.

I want to learn method.

I want to learn what it is.

I have all this heart and all these guts,

but I don't have technique.

I need to stay.

I need someone who's gone through it.

Just got learn how to apply it.

I used to need to fucking fix all the time.

Now I have to fix on everything.

And I want to do it.

What- what is it that you fix on anymore?

It's not- I mean all these people.

I've seen them.

Fat people, unhealthy people.

And I know that it's wrong.

But I can't get together, either.

What's the matter with the fucking human beings?

What are we missing?

You know?

Do you know?

I mean, what am I missing that I keep having to do this?

It's not Mitch at all.

Fuck, yeah.

I don't know.

I don't think it's anything powerful, like magic.

I don't think it's Atlantis.

I don't think it's the Bermuda Triangle.

There's nothing left that gets me off.

There's fucking nothing left.

Do you know how awful that is?

And I don't feel like killing myself, either.

That's the only thing that gets me off,

is the fact that I can still live.

You keep trying to find some other way of getting off

without being a total junkie.