Original subtitles

Miss? miss!

Miss!

Say!

Who do you think you are-- major Bowse?

Listen! i've been here 20 minutes!

Well, don't expect any sympathy from me.

I've been here two years.

What do you want?

What I can't have. I'm on a vegetable diet.

Well, you'd better be careful about snapping

At people that way, then, or you won't be.

Say! don't you know that's bad luck?

Uh-huh.

What are you doing it for, then?

To wreck the empire state building.

This will fix it up. I'm committing suicide.

Oh, luck like that can't hold out forever.

Neither can i.

Young lady, young lady!

Yes, sir? yes, sir?

I ordered a spinach omelet, understand?

This don't look much like it!

All right. i'll take them back.

Thanks.

How do they look?

I've seen Greta Garbo and the Mona Lisa,

But those are the most beautiful eyes

I've ever looked into, but I didn't order it.

I know, but I thought you might as well get some wear out of them.

You don't know how astonished my stomach's going to feel.

Lose your job?

Oh, no, no! I was just thrown out of the office so fast,

I forgot to take it with me.

Aw, you'll get another.

I don't know where.

I've been fired from every newspaper in town.

I'm too good a reporter for them.

Why, I can cover a bonfire

And make it sound like the Chicago fire.

But do they call me the Emerson of the press?

No! they call me "that lying Reilly."

Well, can't you stop it?

Well, I was going all right

Till I covered the van Gluck wedding

And came to the part about the minister kissing the bride.

I guess I must have built it up a little too much,

Because the reverend's wife divorced him

And named the bride his corespondent.

You ought to be a publicity man, not a reporter.

Publicity.

Publicity!

That's it!

At last, I heard my call!

May I ask the meaning of this?

Certainly, Mr. George.

The eggs were a turn-back.

So I thought, instead of throwing them away,

He might as well have them,

Seeing as how he was hungry.

I don't mind the two measly eggs, miss O'Dare,

But I won't have you feeding tramps in here.

Say, see here! I resent that!

Very well, then. you're not a tramp.

Oh, it isn't me. it's what you said about them eggs.

If the hens that laid them knew they were in this place,

They'd have the parent- teachers association close the joint!

All right, all right! just sit down and eat them

Without any more disturbance.

All right!

Of course, miss O'Dare,

You'll be charged for this!

OK.

Hey!

No dame is going to be in s.e.r.a. for me, see?

Please, mister, have a heart!

I need this job.

It's all right, little girl.

I'll take care of this.

I don't suppose you realize, my good man,

That you're talking to Aloysius k. Reilly--

The public relations counsel. I thought not!

And you know what I'm going to do to impress it on your mind?

Oh!

You're fired!

Oh!

Play your ace.

Go to the door.

Mabel! what are you doing home this time of day?

I met a genius.

Mr. Reilly, my aunt.

How do you do, Mr. Reilly?

Glad to know you.

This is Mr. Charles Fendwick.

Call him chuck.

Delighted to have the pleasure, sir.

Hiya, chuck.

Say, where are the want ads?

You haven't lost that splendid position?

Not, uh, not fired?

Yes.

What happened?

Oh, nothing much.

I just tried to hide a couple of eggs.

Hide eggs?

What did you think you were--the Easter bunny?

No. but when sir Walter Reilly here takes off his coat,

It isn't to soak up a mud puddle, like a gentleman.

It's to soak a manager.

So, sir, you are the cause

Of all this trouble that so, uh...

Gastronomically concerns all of us?

Put down the skull, hamlet.

Everything's going to be all right.

I'll get her another job, and a better one, too.

Just what can you do, kid?

Just what I was doing when you first saw me.

Yeah, that's what makes it hard.

Now, if you could only sing or dance or juggle or something,

I could fix it up like that.

Jake Sherman's putting on a show.

Do you know Jake Sherman?

Couldn't be closer to him

If I was his siamese brother.

Then she works. Mabel can dance.

I've been teaching her steps ever since she was a little nipper.

Sister, with Aloysius k. Reilly behind you,

The name of Mabel O'Dare will be written in the stars!

Your dances will make pavlova's dying swan look like a cooked goose!

Get your hat and coat! we're on our way to fame and fortune!

Are you sure you know this man, now?

I said so, didn't i?

Yes, but that's what makes me suspicious.

Anyway, before we go in, I think there's something that you ought to know.

Aunt Mimi was right when she said that she taught me all she knew about dancing,

But auntie's got flat feet and I think it might show up in my work.

Did you ever see anybody watch a chorus girl's feet?

Come on.

My name's Aloysius k. Reilly!

Well, don't get sore at me about it. I wasn't at the christening.

I want to see Mr. Sherman.

Out of curiosity or on business?

Charity, sister, pure charity.

Out of friendship, I'm giving Jake first chance

At destiny's gift of terpsichore.

There she stands, with the feet of trilby,

The arms of Isadora Duncan,

The legs of la Argentina,

And the lure of Thais.

The nose is my own.

Well, i'll try and get you in, dearie.

Mr. Sherman's awfully busy, but have a seat.

Ronny, my boy, you sign that contract

And I guarantee you that you'll be a bigger star

Than you ever were in your life,

Or my name is not Jake Sherman.

All right. i'll sign it.

Fine, fine. great.

Just, uh, sign it right there on the bottom line.

Boy, you could sell iceboxes in Siberia.

You're telling me?

That's how I earned my passage money to this country.

No foolin'?

Sure!

You know, when corsets went out of style,

I sent two boatloads to china

And I sold them to bandits for bulletproof vests!

Well, i'll see you at rehearsal tomorrow.

So long.

Oh, uh, don't be late.

Be there about noon.

3:00.

Is that Mr. Sherman?

Sure. how are you, Jake?

Well, Jake, old boy! how are you?

Gee, it's swell to see you. you remember me, don't you--

Reilly of the clarion? that's right!

Jake, for old times' sake, I'm going to give you the chance of your life.

I want you to meet her. come here, Mabel.

Miss Mabel O'Dare!

Why--why, it's really a pleasure to meet

The friend of such an old friend, miss O'Dare.

You mean you really know him?

Do I know Jake?

We grew up next door to one another, didn't we, Reilly?

Uh, yeah, yeah. yeah, that's right.

Well, what can I do for you, Reilly, old boy?

W-well, I was just wondering if you'd give the little lady here

A job in the chorus, if it isn't too much trouble.

In the chorus? a friend of yours?

Why, i'll give her the lead!

The...the lead?

Are you sure you mean that?

Why, as sure as my name is Jake Sherman!

Be around at rehearsal tomorrow at 3:00.

Well, so long, Reilly, old pal!

Heh heh! good-bye, Jake, old boy!

Old pal! ha ha...

So long, so long, so lo--

There you are, Mabel. there's nothing to it.

I got it, I tell you! why, I could sell carnera to singer for a midget!

What's the matter? you don't seem excited about it.

Something's rotten in Denmark.

Well, don't look at me. I never been there. come on.

Stop, stop, stop!

I've passed the point where I expect you to be dancers!

All I ask you now is to know your right foot from your left!

I can remember when I was a show girl.

So can half the male population of new york.

Listen, if you ever lose that voice,

You'll end up as a ventriloquist dummy's.

You just watch those feet of yours.

They're so full of bunions now,

Hold it, hold it!

Ronny! toddy!

Now, will you give me something?

You're acting like a couple of amateurs

In a high school class play!

So you'd like to tell me how to dance, would you?

Listen, mouse,

I know more about routine than you'll ever know.

And if you don't like it, get somebody else.

Listen, young lady, i'll tell you--

Ah ah ah ah! relax, relax, milo.

Why don't you learn how to handle people with artistic temperament?

All right, toddy. you can just do your routine.

Then you handle it!

All right! I will!

All right. let's have it again.

My good man, tell Mr. Sherman that I'm here.

Mr. Sherman don't care.

Say, listen!

I want no more impudence out of you, my fine friend!

Mr. Sherman's expecting me!

Well, I'm Mr. Sherman and I'm not expecting you!

Oh, wise guy, huh? well, get this!

I grew up with Jake, and you ain't him.

What? you grew up with me?

Aw, don't give me that!

You ain't you. you're somebody else pretending to be him.

Uh...oh. well, maybe I'm wrong.

Just a minute. hey, milo.

Hold it!

Come here.

Now, come here.

I know I'm right, but I want to be sure.

Now, tell me, who am i?

Jake Sherman.

Are you absolutely sure?

Well, ain't you?

Well, I thought I was, until this spook come in and started to haunt me.

Now, quit stalling, will you, and tell Sherman I'm here?!

This is the girl who's going to play the lead in the show!

Well, this is a surprise!

Did you ever see me before?

No.

Did I ever see you?

No.

Well, then, I couldn't

Promise you a job, could i?

That's right.

There you are.

Because Mr. Sherman did.

Eh--say, now, look!

Get out! get out, before I lose my temper and raise my voice!

Hey, sit down, youse!

I've got a job for this doll and I'm going to see that she gets it!

Jake Sherman promised it to me personally!

I'm Jake Sherman! do you see this theater?

Well, I happen to own it! and I'm going to give you

Just two minutes to get out of here, and if you don't,

I'm going to have you thrown out!

I think you're both just a couple of cheap chiselers!

Why, you--

Just a minute!

I don't care whether you're Jake Sherman or the 4 Marx brothers!

But you can't get away with calling me a chiseler!

Oh, so you're going to make trouble for me, huh?

No, but don't ask for any!

I met a man who claimed to be Jake Sherman.

He told me I could have a job.

I need that job, so I'm not leaving here

Until I can find out about it.

You bet we aren't--

The safest thing that can happen to you

Right now is a case of lockjaw.

Well, what about it?

Now--now, look, young lady.

Do I look like the type of man

Who goes around impersonating himself?

Well, I'm not.

I would like very much to convince you

That I'm me, but i-- you got...

Wait a minute. don't tell me. hey!

Everybody? just a minute!

Everybody, look!

Tell me, who am i?

Jake Sherman.

I'm sorry, Mr. Sherman, that...

I caused you so much trouble and...

Made such a fool out of myself.

Well, you certainly did--100%,

Less 10 for your agent there!

You see, uh, somebody sort of played a joke,

And, well...I'm the point of it, I guess.

But honest, Mr. Sherman, even then...

I wouldn't have been so persistent, only--

Well, a job-- any kind of a job--

Is pretty important to me right now.

What am I supposed to do-- stand around while you chat

With every little dame that wanders in off the street?

Oh, now she comes!

You'll have to excuse her.

She's a little temperamental.

Oh, that's all right.

I've been serving ham to the public myself for years.

I'm through rehearsing for the day, if it's any interest to you!

What? wait a minute? "you're through"? you just started in!

Oh, no. you kept me waiting just a little too long!

Now, I'm just about sick and tired of pampering you.

Now, you get back there and go to work!

You know, you're not the only heel-beater in the world.

Maybe not, but I'm the only one that can put this floperoo over.

In fact, you can't get along without me.

Oh, is that so? well, let me tell you something--

The only thing in show business that i

Can't get along without is the audience!

There's 50,000 other girls in this town

Who can hoof as well as you, and perhaps better!

How many?

100,000!

Then it won't be hard.

What won't be hard?

To find somebody else to take my place,

Because I'm quitting!

Well, now, that's the best news i've heard today.

You want to quit? all right.

That suits me. go on. get out.

I am!

Oh, but toddy!

"Hot toddy," to you, pelican pan!

Oh...

Now what are we going to do?

And here I am in the soup--homemade!

Why don't you learn how to handle temperamental artists?

That's right. shut up!

Oh, miss O'Dare?

Oh.

I'm terribly sorry.

You're a pretty funny man, aren't you?

Just a fathead.

I pretended I was you, Jake.

It wasn't her fault.

So you're the mouse I smelled!

I'm terribly sorry.

It really is the meanest thing i've ever done,

But honestly, I didn't realize it at the time.

Forgive me.

Oh, that's all right. forget it.

I probably wouldn't have been any good, anyway.

Wait a minute! I promised you a chance

And I'm going to see that you get it.

But the chorus is all engaged!

Oh, he probably wants her to play toddy Williams' part.

No, not unless she's better.

But if she is, you want her, don't you?

Well, I certainly do, but how could she be?

Say, have you ever had any experience?

Two years in the follies bergere!

The only place I ever spent two years

Was in champs restaurant, as a waitress.

A wait--well, now we've got something! she's a waitress!

Listen, I'm putting on a musical comedy, not a banquet!

It will only take 5 minutes to prove how bad or how good she really is.

Can you dance? I mean, can you really dance?

Well, I...I think so.

Well, there's only one way to find out.

Just watch this routine. Archie? hit the horse teeth. swing it.

Hold it!

You want to try it?

OK, fine. all right, girls. you can relax.

Come on. peel off here and get to work.

All right, Archie. hit it.

Milo, I got a hunch.

I'm going to give that gal a crack at toddy Williams' part.

You're not on the level, are you?

I certainly am!

Yeah, whatever. she's got pep, she's refreshing,

And she certainly is a new face.

New face, yeah, but she's got to dance with her feet!

Well, all right. go ahead.

That's your business. teach her.

Me? oh, what have i done to deserve this?

Hold it, hold it!

Look, miss O'Dare, about your feet.

Those are your feet, aren't they?

Yes...

And I wish they were yours.

Well, you go on tomorrow night,

And I'm going to have this routine correct

If I have to rehearse you from now till curtain time!

Come on. let's go.

After spending the night in a boxcar all night

To save enough dough to give Larry a swell room

Before the big fight, where is it?

Underneath a bowling alley!

Sounds more like a rodeo to me.

Climb in, kid. i'll call the manager.

You just got to stop that racket, pop.

If you don't, the first clinch I get in tomorrow night,

I'll curl up in the champ's arms and go to sleep.

Give me the manager.

This is pop Walters-- Larry Cain's manager.

Larry Cain--the guy that's going to fight

For the heavyweight championship tomorrow night!

Now, listen, friend--

Larry's got to have sleep!

And there's so much noise going on upstairs,

He couldn't get it without an anesthetic!

I don't know!

Sounds like they're layin' a carpet, with railroad spikes!

I'm sorry, Mr. Walters, but I'm afraid we can't do much about it.

Miss Mabel O'Dare is occupying the suite over you,

And she's opening in a big Broadway show tomorrow night.

Broadway show, my hat! what about my boy?

He's got a title, too!

Oh, don't argue. get another room.

Now, listen!

You've got to give us another room!

What? well, you must have some room!

An undertakers' convention stopping here? heh!

Well, all I can say, brother, is I hope

They didn't bring any of their homework,

Because that dame upstairs would sure wake them up!

Now, you've got to give us another room!

Hello?

Hello! hello!

What did he say?

It's a dame upstairs, practicing.

Well, what is she-- a bareback rider?

There ain't no more rooms.

I just got to get some sleep, pop!

I couldn't get any here if the sandman was carrying bricks!

Let's go to another hotel.

We can't! I spent all our dough for this room.

Hey! where you going?

Going up there and ask her to be a little reasonable.

What's the use of asking any dame to be reasonable?

Go on back to bed! she can't keep it up all night.

I'll say she can't.

Will you listen to me? go back to bed!

Hold it a minute.

Somebody's at the door.

Comfortable that way, isn't it?

Madam, I have the room right below you.

Well, this is no time of the night to be neighborly.

Well, I came up to ask you a question.

Just how am I supposed to sleep?

On the right side. the left side cramps the heart.

Wait a minute, wait a minute!

I think somebody's at the door.

The pest again! can't go to sleep.

I suppose we'll have to rock everybody in the hotel to sleep

Before we can get any work done. i'll get it.

Hey, listen, lady, I can't sleep.

What am I supposed to do-- make you hot milk?

But I got a fight tomorrow night!

Well, you won't have to wait until tomorrow night

If you don't stop disturbing me!

Disturbing you? say, listen, thunderfoot,

You're making my room sound like a pool hall on Saturday night!

Well, that ought to make you feel at home!

When I came up here, the thing I wanted most in the world was sleep.

Now, it's to put you to sleep!

Well, I'm so tired from dancing that my knees are sprung,

But I wouldn't stop now if I had to do it on a picket fence!

Get out!

Who's the guy?

A prizefighter.

Oh, one of those screwy cauliflower farmers, huh?

Well, he must be a pretty good one.

His face didn't look like there'd been much traffic on it.

In fact, uh...

He was rather nice-looking.

Beware of good-looking prizefighters.

I knew one once. he spent so much time on the canvas,

I started thinking of him as a portrait.

Oh, come on, come on! let's get going!

You don't know how lonesome you make me feel for a tray.

Your eye! a cut!

On the day before the fight!

What happened?

That dame upstairs.

You mean she did that?

Yeah.

With a right or a left?

No, with a door.

Where you going?

Are you nuts?!

You got a fight tomorrow!

Get back in bed and calm yourself!

Dodo's right, Larry.

Do your fighting tomorrow.

Now, go back in bed and forget things.

Don't play a sucker's game.

It's tomorrow what's important, not tonight.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Won't be so easy with this eye, will it?

It'll be all right, but you've got to relax.

OK, OK. someday i'll meet that dame,

And when I do, i'll spank her so tender,

She can sit on a newspaper and read the headlines!

Did he hurt you?

Did he hurt you?

No, no. I'm sleepy.

I'm warning you! if I ever meet that dame,

They'll be playing a benefit for her the next day!

Slow down, slow down!

You're training for a fight,

Not for a race with cavalcade!

What's the matter with your wind?

Ah, it's not my wind, it's my feet.

They're so full of blisters now,

They're splashing around like a couple of leaky water tanks.

Come on, come on. the next time I get in that ring,

I'm going to be in shape.

You sure were in great shape the last time.

Every time you yawned in the clinches,

I thought you was gonna bite the champ!

Yeah, listen, the next time I get in that ring

And get a crack at that lug, i'll hit him so hard

They'll count him out in hundreds.

OK, but what you gettin' sore about?

I just happened to think of that dame.

There's your boy's percentage, pop.

Is this all?

That's all--the worst crowd we've had in years,

Despite the fact it was a championship fight.

This will hardly cover training expenses, colonel.

It's not my fault, pop.

I gave it all kinds of advertising,

But they just won't come to see Cain fight.

Yeah, I can tell that from this.

What's the matter with the boy?

No box-office personality.

He fights like he was bored.

The customers want color--a fighter

That's got glamour both in the ring and out of it.

Well...I hope the exercise did him a little good.

That's about all he'll get out of it.

Now, listen to these receipts:

Wednesday matinee-- $2,604.

Saturday night-- $608.50.

Now, that's the kind of business we've been doing.

I'll tell you frankly, the ushers are quitting

Because they're afraid to be alone in the dark!

Do you know what those figures mean?

Do I know? I should know about figures. i've handled enough models.

It means the women are coming, but the men aren't.

Now, the matinee did good business,

But they don't seem to talk about her.

You got it! they don't talk about her, and why not?

I'm asking you-- why not?

She hasn't got any color.

Color?

By color, I mean glamour--

The magic which will turn her from a person into a personality.

Oh, you mean give her a past.

Tuesday.

No--the present.

That's what we've got to give Mabel-- a present--

Something the people will follow from day to day,

Something that will get into the heart of a nation.

He's right, Jake.

So what gets into the heart of a nation?

Love.

Love.

Hey!

If Mabel O'Dare falls in love, what happens?

She becomes news, right? positively.

And when she's news, she's box office, right? certainly.

Gentlemen, the whole thing's solved.

Except she's not in love with anybody,

And nobody's in love with her.

Yeah, we got to be subtle about this.

Now, look, don't tell me there's anything subtle about love.

You know, I was in the confession magazine business myself.

Somewhere, someplace in this town is a man O'Dare can love.

We've got to find that man!

Hey, you trying to start a fire around here?

Huh? oh.

Gentlemen, i've got it!

Got what?

A man's man! a man who--

Well, who?

A man who's on the front page

Of every paper in America today!

A man who's the ambassador of athletics,

King of the sport world, the fighting adonis!

None other than Larry Cain, heavyweight champion of the world!

The bank is commencin' to think n.s.f. are my initials!

I can't get you a fight,

And as far as the movies, radio,

And the advertisers are concerned,

You might as well have marinated a herring that night in the garden.

It's got me up a tree.

Me, too.

You ought to be-- looking for coconuts.

Well, maybe I haven't got the lure or something, pop.

What you haven't got is glamour.

No, and I don't wear a beret, either.

You know what I can do for you?

Yeah--go home.

Take it easy, Larry. I asked Mr. Reilly to come up here.

He knows publicity. he's been in a lot of papers.

Mm-hmm. so have the katzenjammer kids.

Well, just listen to him, will ya?

You listen to him. I'm going to take dodo

Down to the aquarium and show him to the fish.

But suppose Mr. Reilly has a great idea? what'll I do?

That's an emergency that will probably never arise.

Come on, do--

Now, Mr. Reilly,

What you got on your mind to exploit my boy?

The greatest publicity break in years,

A plug that's going to make him famous,

A front-page story that will hit every sheet in the country!

A sensational tie-up that's--

Yes, but what is it?

I'm going to make him fall in love.

Are you riding in a float,

Or are you bringing me flowers?

You look like a gangster's funeral.

Some guy sent them to Mabel.

To me? who?

Guy by the name of Larry Cain. know him?

No.

But just imagine-- being sent flowers.

He's probably some old coot with removable hair

And an apartment full of etchings.

He's no such thing.

I--well...he just couldn't be. that's all.

It would spoil everything.

Larry Cain...

Sounds young...

And nice, doesn't it?

Yeah. so does spring lamb, but it comes awful tough sometimes.

Come in.

Pardon me, Mr. Reilly,

But you're wanted on the telephone.

OK, i'll be right back.

You know...it's sort of silly of me,

But I'm rather thrilled.

You're absolutely right, pal.

I wouldn't tell him, either.

All he thinks is that he's going to a show and a nightclub later.

I had a tough enough time even getting him to do that.

When you bought this thing in the first place,

You knew you didn't take a 38.

I know it, but a 42 was too big.

Why didn't you get a 40?

Aw, I ain't no good at figures.

Oh...

Button it.

Having trouble?

It's like trying to get a bunch of bananas into a kid glove.

Well, you run out and call a cab.

We don't want to miss the show.

As far as I'm concerned, i'd like to miss the whole thing--

The show, the nightclub and all!

Here, i'll help you with this.

Listen, I'm gonna tip you off,

So no cracks.

Larry's going out to meet a girl.

A dancer.

A dancer?

♪ Ev'ry summer we go down to Deauville by the sea ♪

♪ Where one can rub his shoulders with a king ♪

♪ Saint Moritz in winter time, ah, that's the place to be ♪

♪ And then to Paris in the spring ♪

♪ Where one can have his little fling ♪

♪ Though Normandy is lovely in November ♪

♪ Somehow, it leaves you nothing to remember ♪

♪ I can't forget the night i met you down at Coney island ♪

♪ Gee, I was proud you picked me from the crowd at Coney island ♪

♪ And very soon, I proved to you that my intentions weren't phony ♪

♪ It ended ♪

♪ In matrimony ♪

♪ And now we're eating caviar instead of macaroni ♪

♪ But I recall those picnic lunches of bologna with a smile ♪

♪ I guess I'm still a hick ♪

♪ 'Cause I still get a kick ♪

♪ Just lovin' you, while shovin' through ♪

♪ The crowd at Coney isle ♪

♪ I guess I'm still a hick ♪

♪ 'Cause I still get a kick ♪

♪ Just lovin' you, while shovin' through ♪

♪ The crowd at Coney isle ♪

Ladies and gentlemen,

I want to impress upon you-- we have inside

The world's greatest wax museum!

♪ Here's a sight that's most instructive ♪

♪ It's the wax museum ♪

♪ These figures look so lifelike and so real ♪

♪ Here's napoleon Bonaparte ♪

♪ Of course you've heard of him ♪

♪ Hello, there, nap, how do you feel? ♪

♪ And tell me, how's your old bastille? ♪

♪ And there's a lot of other famous faces ♪

♪ Who lived in bygone days and far-off places ♪

♪ Now there's Delilah and her lover ♪

♪ He's that strongman, Samson ♪

♪ If he would eat more spinach, he'd be stronger ♪

♪ And more handsome ♪

♪ If thou wouldst take a walk with me ♪

♪ I'll spend on thee a whole simoleon ♪

♪ Napoleon, ha ha! ♪

You fat little rascal!

♪ A whole simoleon? ♪

♪ We're the brothers smith ♪

♪ The enemies of laryngitis ♪

♪ If you would like a tenor voice ♪

♪ Why don't you give our drops a try? ♪

♪ And now-- ♪

♪ Who have we here? ♪

♪ I'm Julius Caesar, dear ♪

♪ Oh, Julius, fancy meeting you again at Coney isle ♪

♪ Remember Cinderella? ♪

♪ She's the dream of each romancer ♪

♪ I've learned a lot since then ♪

♪ Now I'm a taxi dancer ♪

♪ And tell me ♪

♪ Who is that distinguished gentleman ♪

♪ Right in the middle? ♪

♪ That's Nero ♪

♪ I play hot fiddle ♪

♪ And here are all the peaceful members ♪

♪ Of the peace convention ♪

♪ I guess I'm still a hick ♪

♪ And I still get a kick ♪

♪ Just lovin' you while shovin' through ♪

♪ The crowd at Coney isle ♪

Ladies and gentlemen...

♪ I can't forget the night I met you down at Coney island ♪

♪ Gee, I was proud you picked me from the crowd at Coney island ♪

♪ And very soon I proved to you that my intentions weren't phony ♪

♪ It ended ♪

♪ In matrimony ♪

♪ And now we're eating caviar instead of macaroni ♪

♪ But I recall those picnic lunches of bologna with a smile... ♪

That's her!

Sure, it's a her.

I can tell that from here.

No, no, no--

Where you going?

Anyplace to get away from her.

♪ Just lovin' you, while shovin' through ♪

♪ The crowd at Coney isle ♪

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

This is Byron young and his boys,

Broadcasting from the cosmopolitan club.

Good evening, mademoiselle, monsieur.

Our reservation, please.

This way, please.

Come on, let's go. it's getting late.

What's your hurry, champ?

It's only half-past 1:00.

Sure, it does you good to be out like this.

You can't tell a little rela--

Oh, pardon, monsieur,

I am very sorry, but I make a mistake.

This table, it is reserved.

What?

Why, hello!

Miss O'Dare, what a coincidence

That we should have your table.

Now let me introduce my friends

And we'll go.

Not at all, dear fellow.

It will be too frightfully, terribly jolly

Having you join us.

Miss summer, miss Foy,

And miss Lamont.

And none other than Mr. Larry Cain.

How do you do, Mr. Cain?

There's something about you

That's very familiar.

Oh, yes, I remember.

I had tripe for dinner!

I had ham.

Looks like I'm going to have some more.

Cut it out, Larry.

Hitting a lady ain't cricket.

It ain't even pinochle.

No, no, no, now, if you insist, Mabel,

Well, there's nothing to do but to accept.

Waiter, another table here, please.

Ah, listen to that music.

Are we going to let it waste?

Ah, miss Lamont, please.

Miss summers?

How about you, miss Foy?

I'd love to.

I always say it's much easier

Being disagreeable sitting down.

Shall we?

I suppose I should thank you for your bouquet of flowers.

They were quite wilted when they arrived.

Bouquet?

Yes, bouquet.

A bunch of flowers is a bouquet, Mr. Cain.

Oh, yes, yes-- those things you keep throwing at yourself,

I remember.

Why don't you two get up on the dance floor and do this to music?

It might be another routine. you can't tell.

When one is dancing in a Broadway hit,

One gets so tired of dancing.

You didn't get so tired when you danced over me all night.

That's because I dance on my toes now.

I was dancing on a heel then.

Oh, so that's what you call it, is it?

I didn't know.

The man sitting next to me said,

"I wonder what she's doing on the stage alone.

She must have thrown her jockey."

Uh, do you do anything, Mr. Cain,

Or, uh, are you just a critic?

Listen, O'Dare, I won a championship.

Well you may be a champ to somebody,

But you're just a punching bag with ears on it to me!

Well, if that galloping you were doing tonight is called dancing,

Then i've seen Russian ballet at a horse show.

Just a minute, Mr. Cain! you're talking to a lady!

Listen, if she's a lady,

Diamond Lil' could get by as whistler's mother.

You'll have to apologize for that!

I wouldn't apologize to her

If I committed mayhem, arson, and murder on her!

Don't! don't hit him, Larry, don't!

All right, all right,

But i'll knock that tenor flatter than he sings.

You can't. he's an actor.

If you bust his pan, he'll lose his job,

Close his show.

Oh. i'll bet you wear glasses when you're not working.

Never mind my face-- come on!

Shut up, Ronny.

What happened?

Oh, nothing, pop, nothing.

You're certainly being charming,

Every place I take you tonight.

Well, then, take me someplace where this cluck isn't.

Don't you dare call me a cluck!

Are you going to stand for this?

I can't hit him. he won't hit me back.

Well, I can!

Oh, dear. oh, what a smack.

Yeah.

Wet smack.

Ohh! ohh! ohh!

Wait till you read the papers in the morning.

This story will hit every front page in the country, pop.

It will be the great American love story.

Yeah. sort of like the civil war, huh?

Ye...

Hello?

Why, hello, pop. how are you?

Sure, i've seen the papers.

Yeah, how's the champ taking it?

He's right out of his head,

And so wild, frank buck couldn't bring him back.

Ahh, let him rave, pop.

He got more space this morning

Than he did when he won the title.

I've given him color.

He'll give her a couple of colors--

Black and blue.

He thinks she put that stuff in the paper.

Well, so what?

Well, maybe so,

But I got a funny feeling that something's gonna break.

There it goes.

Say, listen, I got to hang up.

Dodo's in there with him, alone,

And I want to save a piece of him

To send home to his mother.

Look at it. look at it!

I'll bet they've got a marshmallow sundae named after me right now!

Now, listen, Larry, you've got to calm down.

This ain't as serious as you--

Isn't serious?

Playing post office all over the front page with a dame!

You've got to remember, champ,

All the world loves a lover.

Oh, so i've switched titles, have i?

I'm America's sweetheart now, am i?

Well, get this--

Or i'll wring her neck until the newspapers won't be able to get a word out of her

Without a corkscrew!

Wait till I get this.

The riot squad is probably downstairs.

Hello?

Yeah? who?

Oh, hello, colonel.

Why, yes, colonel, I think we'd be interested.

That suits us.

Half-past 2:00 in your office is OK.

So long, colonel.

Who do you think wants you to sign up?

The bloomer girls, probably.

No, colonel Johnson at the garden.

He wants you to meet Joe Rita on the 27th.

Me? climb through the ropes at the garden after this?

Why, i'd be crowned queen of the may with 20,000 pop bottles

Before I could get my gloves on!

But champ!

That's the first offer we've had!

Hello? Mr. Walters talking.

Who? yes.

Oh, well, I couldn't give you a decision at the moment.

About 5:30 would be very good.

In your office.

OK.

Who was that?

Talksie-walksie corporation.

They make loveys.

You've heard their slogan, champ.

"Say I love you with a breath of spring."

What?

Loveys. you know, them breath killers.

If you been eating onions,

All you have to do is plop one in your clapper,

And you'll blow out like a violet.

Say, what kind of a diet have you guys been on, anyway?

Well, we're going to eat off them for a long time.

They're ready to sign a deal with you.

For what?

To go on the radio.

The breath of spring?

Say, isn't it bad enough now

Without trying to make a perfume atomizer out of me?

Well, it ain't after a package of loveys.

You!

You cheap dame!

You cheap cad! shut up!

Any man who would put slush like that in the papers

Oughtn't to be a prizefighter.

He ought to be a chorus boy.

Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute--

"Always have I wanted to meet the perfect girl."

I never said anything like that in my life!

If they printed what I thought of you,

They wouldn't be able to send it through the mails!

Say, listen, you-- you pug--

If you ever print anything like that again,

Before I get through with you,

I'll not only have your title,

But enough of your teeth

To supply all the elks in Peoria.

I printed? i?

The whole thing was a lie!

But the biggest one was calling you a dancer!

And what's the matter with my dancing?

If you're a dancer, I'm all wet.

That's right!

Now, listen, Mabel,

Before you got all this publicity,

The show was doing such a bad business

That the man in the box office

Was playing solitaire with the tickets

To keep himself from being lonesome.

But yesterday, business started to pick up.

Why, the actors outnumber the audience only 2 to 1.

Be reasonable, Mabel.

After all, you don't have to be gaga about the guy.

Just pretend to be. kid the public.

If you'll only put on an act,

The juvenile man on in a wheelchair!

That's marvelous for the show,

But what about me?

Ohh...

You're getting paid for being in the show, aren't you?

Yes, as a dancer,

Not a sparring partner

For an egotistical pug-ugly!

But just think, Mabel,

I don't want to be on the front page with anybody!

Well, of course, if you want to be a snob.

Now, Mabel-- Mabel, please,

Won't you do this for me?

If this show flops, I'm out of show business.

There's only one angel left that I haven't nicked,

And you don't want me to wait till judgment day for Gabriel.

But Mr. Sherman, don't you see?

I hate the man, after him putting that in the paper.

But he didn't put it in.

Now we got to play it up.

Really?

Yes.

Oh.

Yes.

Nevertheless, I still hate him!

Oh, now, Mabel--

Now, Mabel, look, you don't hate me, do you?

No.

You don't hate Ronny.

No.

You don't hate your aunt Mimi.

No, of course not.

You don't hate the rest of the country, do you?

No.

And besides, there's a lot of worse ways of getting a pain in the neck

Than from Larry Cain.

He's right, dear.

Remember your grandfather Seamus.

He was hung, poor man.

All right,

I'll be a good sport.

Oh, Mabel,

I'll never forget you for this.

Neither will Larry Cain.

No, no, no--

Nothing doing, I tell you.

Right now if I got a smack in the ear,

The newspapers wouldn't say it was cauliflower.

They'd say it was gardenia.

That's what that dame's done for me.

But think of the publicity value.

Oh, I can see it now,

Just as plain as if it were in print--

"Larry Cain,

The battling adonis of the squared circle."

Don't say things like that.

But what about your career?

Well, I was a mechanic once,

I can be a mechanic again.

Yeah? well, what about me and dodo, kid?

After all, we've gone hungry so you could eat.

We've spent the last 3 years getting you up

To where you could cash in,

So we could make a little, too.

What about us?

Well...

Well, I never thought of that.

It's playing the game, Larry.

Yeah. yeah, I guess it is.

Then you'll do it?

Yeah, i'll do it.

But that O'Dare dame understands,

This is strictly business.

Aw, sure.

She's interested in another guy.

Yeah? who?

Why, Ronny Cauldwell, who plays in the show with her.

Oh, so that's the kind of a guy she likes, huh?

Ronny Cauldwell. how do you like that?

A guy that puts makeup on his face.

Well, it's a lot more comfortable than adhesive tape and iodine.

Standing room only.

Standing room is all I can get.

Want to stand, old boy?

♪ Sweet music is the poetry of romance ♪

♪ There is no romance without a song ♪

♪ And though it's such a little thing to do, dear ♪

♪ I'll sing to you, dear ♪

♪ My whole life long ♪

♪ I'll sing you a thousand love songs ♪

♪ And still they'd seem so few ♪

♪ For I need a thousand voices ♪

♪ To tell you how I love you ♪

♪ I've only one heart to give you ♪

♪ One voice to listen, too ♪

♪ So, i'll bring a thousand love songs ♪

♪ And i'll sing ev'ry one, dear ♪

♪ For you ♪

♪ L'amour toujours l'amour ♪

♪ Love, at last you've found me ♪

♪ Hold me and hold me always ♪

♪ Thrill me and fill all my days ♪

♪ And weave a spell around me ♪

♪ L'amour toujours l'amour ♪

♪ Sing to me love's old, old story ♪

♪ Yearning, Bonnie Laurie ♪

♪ L'amour toujours l'amour ♪

♪ Believe me if all those endearing young charms ♪

♪ Which I gaze on so fondly today ♪

♪ Were to fade by tomorrow and flee in my arms ♪

♪ Thy... is fading away ♪

♪ Thou would still be adored as this moment thou art ♪

♪ Let thy loveliness fade as it will ♪

♪ And around the dear... ♪

♪ Each wish of my heart ♪

♪ Would... ♪

♪ In the shadows that may come and sing to you ♪

♪ La la la la la la la ♪

♪ Let me dream a song that I can bring to you ♪

♪ La la la la la la la ♪

♪ Take me in your arms and let me cling to you ♪

♪ Let me linger long ♪

♪ Let me live my song ♪

♪ In the winter let me bring the spring to you ♪

♪ La la la la la la la ♪

♪ Let me feel that i mean everything to you ♪

♪ Love's old song will be new ♪

♪ In the shadows when I come and sing to you ♪

♪ Dear, in the shadows ♪

♪ When I come and sing to you ♪

♪ I'll sing you a thousand love songs ♪

♪ And still they'd seem so few ♪

♪ For I need a thousand voices ♪

♪ To tell you how I love you ♪

♪ I've only one heart to give you ♪

♪ One voice to listen, too ♪

♪ So, i'll bring a thousand love songs ♪

♪ And i'll sing ev'ry one, dear ♪

♪ For you ♪

Throw him a kiss.

Hello. just dropped in to see how the modern Paul and Virginia

Were getting along.

Going swimmingly, I hope.

Yes. on waves of nausea.

Why don't you come in and make yourself at home?

He's quite impossible, eh?

Impossible? unbelievable.

He's got this swelled head so bad,

He could wear a bathtub for a hat.

I'll be glad when it's over.

Me, too.

You know, we could have an awful lot of fun playing.

Uh, just so there isn't any mistake, Ronny,

I never play any games--

Unless it's for keeps.

Keeps would be swell for me.

You know something?

Mm-mm.

No? then i'll tell you.

Every time I see you,

You're prettier than I remember you from last time.

That sounds nice. what play is it from?

I'm not being a ham, Mabel, I'm crazy about you.

You're different from most dancers.

Yeah-- most of them dance.

My knight.

I want to get it over with and get some sleep.

I've got to stop at the apartment first.

I didn't have time to change my clothes before the theater.

All right, but hurry up.

I must say, I envy you

Taking miss O'Dare to supper every evening.

Well, if that makes you envious,

I know a guy in the poultry business

Who'd make you positively jealous.

He feeds 2,000 clucks every night.

Are you going to start that cluck business again?

If you are, you're not going to get away with it this time,

Whether I'm a singer or not!

You're not.

Take the word of a guy

Come on.

Oh!

All right-- put it on, put it on.

Get ready to meet the autograph hounds.

All right?

Yeah. how do I look?

Like a beaver about to go to work on a tree.

Here they come!

Hold it! just a minute, please!

Just a minute, please!

How about a kiss?

Did you say something?

No, I didn't say a thing.

Oh.

Well, why don't you?

Well, because I can't be myself around you.

I wonder how you act when you are yourself.

You don't have to seem to be so bored with me.

There are plenty of men

Who would like to take me out tonight.

I suppose you'd rather be out with that Ronny Cauldwell.

I'd rather be out with anybody but you!

That guy that puts makeup on his face.

He's a very nice man.

Let's be honest about this.

This is just a publicity stunt.

There isn't a real thing about it.

And if it were real?

Well, that would be--

Neville arms.

Won't you come up and wait for me?

Come up--no!

No, Reilly's waiting for us,

And I'm hungry, and I got to get home.

I'll only be a minute.

Well, all right.

It would be much cheaper for you

Wait here.

Yes, sir.

Will you ring miss O'Dare's apartment, please?

Yes, sir.

Miss O'Dare doesn't answer.

Well, she's up there, isn't she?

Yes. I haven't seen her go out.

Just what do you think you're doing?

Frying a pork chop.

What's the idea of keeping me sitting out there waiting?

Well, i'll tell you, Mr. Cain.

I looked at the pork chop,

And then I looked out the window at you,

And I said, "me, i'll take the pork chop."

This is going to look awful in print.

What?

"Prizefighter punches show girl in nose,"

And that's what's going to happen, too,

Look, my good woman, Reilly's waiting dinner for us.

Listen, son, i've had all of Reilly

And the nightclubs that I can stand.

So if you want to keep him company, go ahead.

I'm staying here.

Swell!

Ahem.

Uh, pork chops, huh?

Want one?

Well, uh, I mean, we got enough?

Certainly. get a plate.

You get it. i'll attend to those.

No, no, no. you'll splatter yourself.

Don't tell me how to put a pork chop on a plate!

I used to be a waitress.

A waitress? you?

Well, what's wrong with waitress?

You an automat fan or something?

Well, no, but somehow or other,

I just can't imagine you as a waitress, that's all.

Well, plenty people can.

I'll bet you I could go out right now

And get a job waiting on tables

In 5 of the best restaurants in town.

Well, for the love of mike.

And I thought you had a swelled head.

About what?

Well, I'm a son of a gun.

Never mind the abuse. get another plate.

O'Dare, I think I owe you an apology.

All right, go ahead.

Well, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, too.

Shall we shake hands and make up?

No. I got a better idea than that.

O'Dare, I wish you weren't in show business.

So do i. but after all, a job's a job.

I wish you weren't a prizefighter.

I'm not really a prizefighter.

I'm just a mechanic who happened to have a sock, that's all.

But to tell you the truth, I'm scared to death

Every time I crawl between the ropes,

And I'm going to quit it, too.

Oh, you'll never quit as long as you're a champion.

No? well, i'll let you in on a little secret.

That fight next week is my last one,

And I'm going to win it, too,

'Cause I'm betting everything i've got in the world on it.

I'm buying my future with it.

Your future?

Yeah. super service station over in jersey.

Oh, it's a pip-- wash rack, machine shop,

The most beautiful grease pit you ever saw.

I can do the repair work myself for a while

And get a kid to take care of the gas and oil.

Then later on, maybe I can get another one...

And another one and another one...

3 garages already. we're doing marvelously, aren't we?

We? you said "we."

Oh, did i?

I guess I was sort of daydreaming.

Oh, dear.

Maybe, if we're lucky,

We can have a little house, too, huh?

With white organdy curtains...

Yeah, and a radiobar...

And everything.

But there's one thing you must promise me--

Not to bet on the fight.

You might lose. it's gambling our happiness.

But I have to. I need exactly twice what i've got.

Well, i've got some money.

I saved it out of my salary.

But that's your money.

Well, we're partners, aren't we?

I'll tell you what. we'll get the license

The first thing in the morning.

He'll keep it out of the papers for us.

I'll call for you tomorrow night after the show,

And we'll get married.

Mabel O'Dare, hoofer,

Will be Mrs. Larry Cain, hausfrau.

And after the fight, Mrs. Cain's husband

Will be just another mechanic.

Garage owner, if you don't mind.

It's going to be marvelous, isn't it?

It's going to be our secret.

It's too grand to share with anybody--

Not even the newspapers.

Promise you won't tell anybody?

I promise.

The care he takes of it,

You'd think it was a bag of gumdrops he was working on.

I don't know what's got into the guy.

I can't tell whether he's sparring or playing patty-cake.

If he don't snap into it,

Reed is going to knock him right out from under his title.

Pop, I think we better go over to Philly and train there.

The fight's only a week off.

That's it.

That's what's got him-- too much nightclub food.

He's so full of french pastry,

A good poke in the pantry would dent him

Like a tube of toothpaste.

OK, Larry!

Go on over to the club and pack. we're going to Philly.

We? oh, no. you, maybe. not me.

You ought to be there at least a week before the fight--

You know, sort of get acclimated.

I'll start worrying about the fight when the bell rings.

Now, listen, Larry, this guy reed's got

A good night's sleep in both hands,

And if you don't start training,

He'll put you in cold storage.

All they have to do, you know, is to count 10

To change a champ into a chump.

You've got a title to defend.

There's something I want to tell you about that, pop.

If I hadn't signed for this fight, i'd take the title

And throw it in the middle of Madison square garden

And let 'em scramble for it.

And if I win this fight,

That's what I'm going to do anyway.

You're crazy.

Maybe, but I'm not punch-drunk.

I can still hear a bell ring without trying

To take a swing at somebody who isn't there,

And I'm going to keep that way, too.

And another thing--

But I can still wear it on the street

Without somebody trying to feed it peanuts,

And I'm going to keep it that way.

What are you talking about?

See you later. I got a date.

What do you suppose happened to the guy?

Tommy must have sent him a set of Shakespeare.

Hey, pop, a mug by the name of Reilly just called,

Said for you to drag it over

What do you suppose he wants?

Well, if I know Reilly,

He's probably trying to run the champ

For president of the freshman class at Vassar.

So they're going to get married, buy a garage.

She's walking out of the show, he's hanging up the gloves.

And as far as the rest of us are concerned,

The line forms behind the eightball.

So that's the reason.

My poor creditors.

The way him and Mabel gets along,

He might as well marry reed.

He's only got to go 10 rounds with him.

With a horse, it's locoweed,

And with a dame, it's orange blossoms--

One whiff, and they go off their nut.

Just publicity, huh? only a joke, huh?

Just when I'm going to cash in on the boy,

This beautiful thing comes into his life

And kicks me right in the puss.

Why? why does a nice girl like her

Have to get married, anyway?

The girl had a future until you came along.

What's she got with a prizefighter?

Garage mechanic.

With a garage mechanic. thank you.

Nothing but a free valve grind.

Ah! just as I thought...

A herd of turncoats, pharisees, and philistines!

Hey! are any of them things a reflection on my family?

Cast the first stone, sneer at the steamboat,

Jeer at the wright brothers... then eat your words.

I have the thought that will be the pillar of smoke

Which will lead us out of our dilemma,

The column of fire to which we'll port our helm.

Get around to saying something, will you?

All right. let me ask you one question:

What do Cain and Mabel hate?

Publicity.

Right. and what would they think

If this story broke the papers, the papers made fun of it,

And they didn't know where the story came from?

Why, they'd think--

They'd think that the other one broke the story.

And Larry would get sore...

And Mabel, seething...

And the wedding would be off.

Simple, isn't it, when you have that divine touch.

That saves a great champion.

And a great show.

And my 15 bucks a week.

But it's sort of tough on the kids.

Get out from behind those. I know you.

May I come in?

Well, I hope to tell you.

Ahem.

You know, I don't think we're alone.

Have you got the license? and the ring?

Yep.

And the minister?

Yeah, but not with me.

Look, i'll pick you up after the show,

Take you over to jersey,

And before you can say "Mabel O'Dare,"

You'll be Mrs. Larry Cain.

Mrs. Larry Cain.

Yeah, but Mrs. Larry Cain

Isn't going to be dancing in any musical comedy.

Of course not. it would take too much time away

From being Mrs. Larry Cain.

Don't say that so fast.

Say it slower so you understand what it means...

Because Mrs. Larry Cain

But the owner of the best garage in jersey...

Who's got to have his dinner on time

And mechanic's soap in the bathroom.

If you think that you're going to wash

Your greasy hands in the bathroom,

You've got another thing coming.

You'll wash in the kitchen sink.

Yes, ma'am.

Isn't it going to be wonderful?

Hey, aren't you rushing things a little?

Come on, let's get out of here.

Oh, Jake!

Huh?

Here you are, boy, and hot off the press!

Reilly, what would happen

If you ever wrote a true story?

Take it in to her.

Oh, no. that's your job...

And the best of luck.

Come in!

Hello, cottontop.

Hello.

Hello, Mimi.

Hello.

Than you were tonight, old goldilocks.

Thank you, kind sir.

Oh, uh, Mimi...

Have you, uh... have you seen the paper?

Nope.

See you later, my little artichoke.

All right, my Spanish onion.

Hello, Ronny.

Hi, Jake.

May I come in?

Yes.

You got to hand it to Reilly.

He certainly gets it in the paper.

What's he done now-- got me on a postage stamp?

Haven't you read it?

No.

All about you and Cain going to elope

To escape the gaudy glamour of Broadway

And retire to a cottage small in jersey.

Awful nonsense, but I suppose it will go over.

I don't believe he did this!

After all, Mabel, he's got a fight in a week.

He needs the publicity.

But he couldn't! I know he couldn't!

Get me the jersey athletic club.

You sure got to hand it to that guy Reilly.

When he smears a front page,

He sure spreads a mess.

If that don't cut the champ off the dame, nothing else would.

Hello?

Who's calling?

Mabel O'Dare?

I'm sorry. he's just gone

To Philadelphia with his manager.

Oh, thank you.

You mean that... this is true?

Not anymore.

It was supposed to be our secret.

But he had to spoil it...

Just for the sake of publicity!

Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Mabel. I didn't know.

That's all right. forget it.

How would you like to take me out tonight?

I'd love to!

Mmm, ain't you gorgeous!

A thing of beauty and a joy forever.

Have you read the papers?

Nope.

They're carrying a spread about you.

What about?

What?

Read it yourself.

You don't suppose that she...

Sure. swell publicity for her.

Business was dropping off,

She owns a piece of the show...

For the love of mike,

You didn't fall for it, did you?

But she said... she said she...

But she must have. she was the only one who knew.

It's a publicity racket with all them show dames.

Come on, get packed. we're leaving for Philly.

You mean, tonight?

Yes, tonight!

It worked!

When she reads this, she's going to blow

The roof right off of this theater.

It's on the level.

I don't know. it don't ring true.

Mabel marrying Ronny and you printing an honest story? uh-uh.

Listen, she's so sore at Cain,

She'd marry an ostrich to get even.

I don't know... it doesn't seem fair to either one of them.

You know, I'm beginning to feel like a shyster.

Yeah? maybe you'd like to tell her the truth

And have her fold up the show for you.

I said I felt like a shyster, not a philanthropist.

That's what I thought.

Tight enough?

Yeah, I guess so.

How are your nerves? on edge?

What?

Are you all keyed up?

Why should I be?

This is not the first fight i've fought, you know.

Sure, I know, champ.

I'll be back in a minute.

Hey, pop!

You better get in there

And snap Larry out of it.

What's the matter? has he got the jitters?

No. that's the trouble.

He's as calm as a cigar store indian,

Only not as dangerous.

He just don't care.

You know, I think this little article in the journal

About Mabel being engaged to Cauldwell might work...

Much as I hate the idea of pouring turpentine on a busted heart.

Well, champ, I told the newspaper boys

You were going to take reed in the fourth.

I'll be satisfied with a decision.

I made that bet, like you asked me.

Thanks.

Remember Ronny Cauldwell?

Yep.

Seems that he's going to get married.

The girl must have lost a bet.

Oh, I don't know. Mabel always did like him.

Mabel?!

She wouldn't marry that nincompoop.

All I know is what it says here.

Come on, come on, you fathead! tighten those up.

What do you want me to do, bust a hand?

Well, what's this?

A bunch of bananas.

Nice child.

Oh, some posies for you, Mabel.

Who are they from, dear?

Ronny.

They're beautiful, aren't they?

Yes. they are beautiful, aren't they?

Places! lights! hey, boy.

Yes, sir?

Get O'Dare.

She's practically here.

He's fighting tonight, Mimi.

I, uh, I hope he wins.

I don't.

I hope he loses and gets out of the game.

It makes him do things that aren't like him.

Can't you...

Say, can't you forget Larry?

No, I...I can't.

Places! curtain!

On stage, everybody. places, please. curtain!

Curtain! places!

Yes?

On stage, miss O'Dare.

Ready for your entrance.

But there's Ronny.

I know, and he's nice...

Terribly nice.

But if I married him,

I'd still be waiting for Larry to come back...

Just as i've been waiting for a week.

Are you--are you sure you could be happy with Larry?

I don't know.

I don't think I could ever forgive him for spoiling our--

Well, for putting that in the papers.

Oh, how could he have done it!

He didn't. Reilly overheard you making plans.

What? what do you mean?

That Larry didn't have anything to do with the story.

He didn't?

No.

Well, that's why he didn't call for me that night.

That's why he went to Philadelphia.

He thought I put that in the papers.

Yes, that's what happened,

And that's the way we planned it.

You planned it?

How could you do a thing like that?!

Get me the Newark airport, quickly.

What are you going to do?

I'm going to Philadelphia.

♪ Here comes Chiquita, so let's all make a bow ♪

Where's O'Dare?

How do I know?

Probably didn't hear her call. i'll get her.

You're crazy!

Well, I may be crazy,

But I'm going to Philadelphia, just the same.

Hey! you go on in a minute.

Oh, no, I'm not.

Well, what's the matter?

She knows about that piece in the paper,

And she says she won't go on.

Are you mad?

So mad that i'll never forgive the lot of you

For the cheapest trick that's ever been played!

Don't argue now. later, later!

This is later. it's all over!

I'm through with you and the show and the whole phony business.

Mabel! now, look, you can't do a thing like that.

You must remember the oldest tradition of the theater:

The show must go on!

Why?

Why? well, because...

Well, why?

Well, I...

Well, why is--

You can't answer it, can you?

♪ A gal, a pal, a lady you'll adore ♪

♪ And we know she adores toreador ♪

♪ Here comes Chiquita ♪

♪ You'll go for her, and how! ♪

♪ May the best man win when she comes in ♪

♪ Here comes Chiquita now ♪

Keep vamping! for the love of mike, keep vamping!

♪ Here comes Chiquita ♪

♪ So let's all make a bow ♪

♪ To the swellest kid in all Madrid ♪

Come on! get on there!

What are you going to do?

No, you're not!

Listen to that music.

There's hundreds of people out there

Waiting to see you dance.

You've got to go on! you've got to!

I tell you, I'm through! I'm flying to Larry right now!

Not until you do the show again!

I'm not! let me go!

Get on that stage, and don't argue.

♪ May the best man win when she comes in ♪

♪ Here comes Chiquita now ♪

Don't argue! get out there!

Go on!

Let me get out of here! let me get--ooh!

Oh...

Mabel, you get back on that stage!

You can't do this to me!

♪ You'll go for her, and how! ♪

♪ May the best man win when she comes in ♪

♪ Here comes Chiquita now ♪

Take me to the Newark airport, quickly!

Mabel, you're making the biggest mistake of your life.

I'm the best judge of that.

What about the show?

I don't care a thing about the show.

You have to care.

You know what this will do to you in the theater.

The only thing I care about is having Larry learn the truth.

That's the reason I brought you along-- so you could tell him.

Introducing the challenger,

At 215 pounds...

Joe reed!

And in this corner,

The present heavyweight champion of the world,

At 205 pounds...

Larry Cain!

Now, shake hands and go to your corner.

When you hear the bell, come out fighting.

Come on, Larry!

1, 2,

3, 4, 5, 6...

1, 2,

3, 4...

He's gone crazy!

He's another Dempsey!

Just look at him, will you? a poem in dynamite!

What do you think happened to him?

If we can only get that dame to commit bigamy,

Larry will be twice as good!

What's the matter with you? every time you swing,

It looks like you're waving good-bye to your grandmother.

That guy won't give me a chance to get settled.

He never fought like this before in his life.

It's like boxing a buzz saw.

Yeah, and you're supposed to have a punch.

Well, somebody forgot to tell him.

It's a new Larry Cain, folks.

He's no longer a clever boxer--

He's a killer, a savage, a madman!

He's boring in again, smashing a left and a right to reed's jaw

And then sinking a short uppercut to the body.

Reed is hanging on. he's dead game, but bewildered.

This is not the Larry Cain that he expected to meet.

1, 2,

3,

4, 5...

1, 2,

3, 4,

5, 6,

7, 8...

Pop, look! do you see what I see?

That's Mabel!

Anything can happen now.

Larry! Larry!

Are you hurt?

No, no.

I just found out where that story came from.

It was Reilly.

Honest?

Sure, I framed it.

I knew it was something like that.

Get up! get up!

Get--get up! get up!

Hey, what did you do that for?!

Wait till I put this guy away.

The new champ!

I didn't throw that towel in!

What's the idea?

You lost by technical knockout

Your second threw in the towel.

I was just trying to--

What do you mean? you were out anyway.

Oh, yeah?

I didn't throw that towel in!

What did you throw the towel in for?

I lost every nickel I had in the world

Except the dough I'm getting from this fight.

You haven't lost a thing. I bet on reed.

But, honey, that's your money. I can't take that.

Well, we're partners, aren't we?

Oh...

Hold it!

World's greatest love story comes true--

A sensation for the press,

Something that people will talk about from day to day,

Something that will get...