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♪♪
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[President Kennedy] Ask not what
your country can do for you.
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Ask what you can do
for your country.
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[President Reagan]
Mr. Gorbachev,
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tear down this wall!
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[President Franklin Roosevelt]
The only thing we have to fear
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is fear itself!
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[President Trump] "Uhh, I don't
know what I said. Uhh!"
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♪♪
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[man chanting
in native language]
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[group chanting
in native language]
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♪♪
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♪♪
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♪♪
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[babbling]
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[tape rewinding]
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I don't remember!
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♪♪♪
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♪♪♪
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♪♪♪
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♪♪♪
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We are going to drain the swamp
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in Washington, D.C.
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I believe that the
mentally ill need guns,
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because they are the people
who are most bullied.
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♪♪♪
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♪♪♪
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I am, uh,
Billy Wayne Ruddock.
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I'm here with Barney Frank,
who was a congressman
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and who now is no longer
a congressman.
True.
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I believe you are from
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a different political
perspective than me.
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So let me ask you.
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Do you accept
that Donald J. Trump
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is the greatest president
this country has ever known?
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Oh, not -- not --
not -- not at all.
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-What?
-The answer is, no, not at all.
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As of now, very little in
public policy has changed.
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-Fake news.
-What's fake news?
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You think he is,
I think he isn't.
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Fine. Well, let's
agree to disagree.
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So, we're gonna talk
about something
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that might be difficult for you,
something called facts, and --
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Again, w-what --
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Th-That's a sort of
gratuitous insult.
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I did come hoping to have
a relaxed conversation,
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and you seem to me to be
somewhat on edge about this.
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Not at all.
Oh, well --
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I'm extremely relaxed.
And I'm comfortable.
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-Okay. I, uh --
-I brought my own chair.
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CNN, the Communist
News Network,
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put out a myth which
was called Vaginal-gate,
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where they scurrilously
tried to imply
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that the President had said
horrendous things about women,
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which was
completely untrue!
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Oh, you think
the tape was false?
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Yes, I do.
And I have proof.
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-No, you don't.
-Yes, I do.
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I think that's deluded.
What's your proof?
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Deluded?! Well, that is --
that is an insult, sir.
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-Yes, it's meant to be.
-That is meant to be an insult?
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-Yes.
-Well, let me show you.
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[keys clacking]
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-Hold on, sir.
-I'm not going anywhere.
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What are you --
What are you worrying about?
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Access Hollywood.
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What actually happened
was they edited the sound.
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It was a longer conversation
that was edited down.
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Okay, but did he not say
"grab 'em by the pussy"?
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He did not.
Billy Bush was talking
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about a rat infestation
that he had.
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This, sir, is the undoctored,
unedited audio --
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-Where'd you get it?
-From RealNewsKansas.org.
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-Okay.
-Hear it, sir, please.
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Don't immediately
dismiss it.
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[Trump] Yeah, that's her,
with the gold.
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[man] I got a real problem
with mice in my house.
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How do I pick them up?
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-[Trump] Grab 'em.
-[man] Okay.
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But I'm thinking
of purchasing a cat
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to catch those mice.
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Do you think
I should purchase a cat?
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[Trump] Buy the pussy.
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-That doesn't make any sense.
-"Grab them."
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Yeah, I think you've --
I think that's a fabrication.
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-How is that a fabrication?
-Because somebody fabricated it.
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-Look, I got to tell you --
-You heard it. That is evidence.
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That is black-and-white!
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This is -- The fabrication
what you played,
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it doesn't make sense.
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No, I don't believe
that Donald Bu--
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Donald Trump was giving
Billy Bush advice
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about how to catch rats.
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So, let's talk about
crooked Hillary.
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Did you support her
in her nefarious plan
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to take over
the presidency?
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I supported her
in her, uh, plan
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to be elected
to the presidency.
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-So, did you support her?
-I just said yes.
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Do you at least admit,
Congressman Frank,
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that Hillary Clinton was
running a pedophile ring
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underneath the pizza --
Oh, thank you. That is --
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the pizza restaurant
right here in Washington?
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No, I'm glad that you
said that, because --
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Thank you. Will you agree to
that? And I appreciate that.
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No, I'm not shaking hands
on that, because...
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Well, that's rude.
...it's a despicable lie.
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How do you respond, sir,
to this proof?
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This is a receipt from
the very same pizza parlor.
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Ping Pong Comet.
Do you agree?
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I -- It's a receipt
from Ping Pong Comet.
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What's the proof that it's part
of a child-pornography ring?
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It says "CHILD"
and, next to it, "FREE."
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Yeah.
They were giving away
children for free.
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That is sick.
At least --
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They were not giving
away children, sir.
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That meant that the
children came in for free,
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not that the children
were given away for free.
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This is purchased from
eBay, sir, from eBay,
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from a seller
who is 94% ratified.
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If you were in the process
of running a ring,
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you wouldn't have
a printed receipt to give out
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as proof of your criminality,
But what "CHILD FREE" means --
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That is how stupid
the Clintons are.
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I'm -- I'm not
gonna put...
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But do you at least admit that
North Korea controls the news?
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I'll take that as a yes.
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♪♪♪
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[man chanting
in native language]
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[speaking Hebrew]
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Today, the biggest
terror threat in America
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comes from radical liberals
called Antifa.
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♪ Hey, hey, ho, ho,
Nazis have got to go ♪
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♪ Hey, hey... ♪
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[Morad] These
Nissan Leaf -driving vegans
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are dangerous...
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too dangerous for me alone.
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I'm gonna need some backup.
Yalla. Let's go.
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♪♪♪
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I think there's blame
on both sides,
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and I have no doubt about it.
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What about the alt-left?
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They came charging at the,
as you say, the alt-right.
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Do they have
any semblance of guilt?
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[Morad] I need a warrior
to help me on my mission,
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so I go to America's heartland
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to pick one of
three contestants,
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all of whom have already
proven their courage
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by anonymously attacking
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women, immigrants,
and homos on the Internet.
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There are at least 50 documented
terrorist training camps
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in the continental
United States.
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What is the most
dangerous terror group
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in the United States?
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-I don't know.
-Antifa.
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-Antifa.
-Yes.
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Who are Antifa?
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They're the anti-fascists.
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They want to
take down everything
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that our current president
is doing right.
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What will happen
if they have their way
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and get rid of fascists?
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How will America be?
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We will be-- become
a shithole country.
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We know that Antifa
are planning something.
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Who is brave enough
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to tackle these
anti-fascist terrorists?
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-I will.
-I will.
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I've been thinking
about it a lot.
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Train me, equip me,
I'll do it.
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To infiltrate Antifa,
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we have to know
how to walk and talk,
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eat and even smell
like a liberal.
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♪♪♪
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How long do you
cook quinoa for?
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Couldn't tell ya.
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-I don't know what that is.
-Nine minutes.
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What is the recommended
rear tire pressure
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of the Nissan Leaf?
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32 pounds
per square inch.
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-35.
-35.
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It's actually
35 to 36, but....
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-Good. I like the detail.
-Yeah.
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There is a television
show here -- Girls.
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I don't -- I don't --
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-I'm not even familiar with it.
-Yeah.
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There is a lead actor
called Lena Dunham.
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-She is a liberal.
-Yes.
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They like to use this
as a code word.
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They say, "Ah, what's your
favorite episode of Girls?"
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Oh, okay. So kind of
like an introduction.
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You don't have to learn
all of it. Learn one.
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Season two,
episode shalosh.
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In this one, Hannah gets
to know her neighbor, Laird.
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Meanwhile, Marnie meets
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00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:06,000
her old artist flame,
Booth Jonathan,
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00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:10,000
who take her home
to show her the studio.
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Dude, what's your favorite
episode of Girls?
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Gosh, I like season two,
episode three.
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Good. Okay.
So, let's do introduction.
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You pretend to
be liberal. Go.
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Dude, what's your favorite
episode of Girls, man?
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Oh, I like season one,
episode six.
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What is your
favorite episode?
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00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,000
I like season two,
episode three.
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00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,000
She -- She did a bunch
of stuff on the thing.
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She met her neighbor
downstairs, and, uh --
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What was the neighbor
called?
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-Lost it.
-Bang! Out!
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-He is an infiltrator.
-Yep.
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Remember, the neighbor
downstairs is called Laird.
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-[all] Laird.
-Good.
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00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,000
What else happened
in this episode?
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She went to her ex-flame's
studio apartment.
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-And what was his name?
-Booth Jonathan.
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And who went?
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-Anna.
-No!
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00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:59,000
Laird.
Laird is the
downstairs neighbor.
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That went
with Jonathan --
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-Marnie!
-Oh, Marnie.
221
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:04,000
-Marnie, Marnie.
-Marnie.
222
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:05,000
[whistle blows]
223
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:07,000
Convince me
you are a liberal.
224
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:08,000
What's your favorite
episode of Girls?
225
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,000
Season one,
episode seven.
226
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,000
What is your favorite
episode of Girls?
227
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:13,000
Mine's season two,
episode three.
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00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:14,000
What happens in it?
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00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:17,000
That's where, uh,
An-- Hannah
230
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:19,000
meets her, uh,
downstairs neighbor, Laird.
231
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And, uh, Maria
meets her -- her --
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Oh, shit.
233
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,000
-Marnie.
-Marnie.
234
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,000
[whistle blows]
235
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,000
Marnie!
236
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:30,000
-Say after me. Marnie.
-[all] Marnie.
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00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,000
Say it ten times.
238
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:34,000
[all] Marnie. Marnie.
Marnie. Marnie.
239
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:37,000
Marnie. Marnie.
Marnie. Marnie.
240
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,000
Marnie. Marnie.
241
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:40,000
Enough.
That's eleven.
242
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,000
What is the aim
of the MeToo Movement?
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00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:44,000
-To take over the world.
-Of course.
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00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,000
And what will they do
245
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,000
when they take over the
world, these feminists?
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00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:49,000
-Kill all the men.
-Of course.
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So, one thing that the
liberal men are is what?
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Oh, they're such pussies.
249
00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,000
One thing that you
will have to learn
250
00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,000
how to do
as a liberal man
251
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:02,000
is to give other men
compliments.
252
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:06,000
♪♪♪
253
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:09,000
Convince me
that you liberals
254
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:11,000
by giving each other
compliments.
255
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,000
[whistle blows]
256
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,000
Hi, Cody.
My name's Glenn.
257
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,000
I love the way
your shirt fits you.
258
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:18,000
Thank you.
I love the way you smell.
259
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,000
I love your hair, too,
the way it looks,
260
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,000
the way it just hangs
just above your ears.
261
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,000
Well, thank you.
I love your legs.
262
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,000
Yeah, your clothes
fit you nice.
263
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:29,000
You have the best chest
and shoulders I've ever seen.
264
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,000
Love your eyes, man.
265
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:33,000
-Yeah, I love those cheeks.
-Mm-hmm.
266
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:35,000
In case there are
radical lesbians
267
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:37,000
that we need
to go undercover as,
268
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:41,000
I need you to know real
information about lesbians
269
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,000
so that you can be
one of them.
270
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:45,000
-Are you ready to learn?
-Yes.
271
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:48,000
♪♪♪
272
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:51,000
Describe the typical
clothes of the lesbian.
273
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:55,000
Flannel shirt, short hair,
uh, men's jeans, men's --
274
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:59,000
Just T-shirts and just
trying to look like a guy.
275
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:03,000
37% of lesbian dress
like Charlie Chaplin.
276
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:08,000
Why, we don't know.
277
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:11,000
So, we are going to
learn some phrases
278
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:14,000
in case you have to be
a radical lesbian tomorrow.
279
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,000
That's what
we're here to do.
280
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:20,000
"I hate penises."
Repeat after me.
281
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,000
[all] I hate penises.
282
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:23,000
Say it like
you believe it.
283
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,000
-I hate fucking penises.
-Good.
284
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:28,000
How do you think a lesbian
will greet each other?
285
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:30,000
-Never put any thought into it.
-A hug?
286
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,000
"I just seen
that fucking asshole
287
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:34,000
with a penis down there.
How you doing?"
288
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:36,000
Good. Pretend
to be a lesbian.
289
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,000
[whistle blows]
290
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,000
Is there any good pussy-tail
going on around here?
291
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,000
Pussy-tail?
What is pussy-tail?
292
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,000
Sorry. I-I was gonna say
"tail," not "pussy."
293
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:46,000
Okay. And what do you think
about the male genitals?
294
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:49,000
I hate penises.
I really, really do.
295
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:51,000
Okay. Convince me
you are a lesbian.
296
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:54,000
Um, you know, the toughest
thing for me was coming out
297
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,000
when I was at my folks' house,
when I was about 18 years old.
298
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,000
-You like penises?
-Oh, hell, no.
299
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,000
That's why I'm down here
looking for some little action,
300
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:01,000
a little pussy action.
301
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:04,000
I hate penises.
302
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:08,000
So, I want you now --
we do a role-ing play.
303
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:11,000
They are suspicious.
304
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:15,000
In order to convince them
that you are a radical liberal,
305
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:18,000
you will have to be able
to show disrespect
306
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:22,000
to the man
we all admire most.
307
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:28,000
Yeah, that will be hard.
But I will do it.
308
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:32,000
♪♪♪
309
00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:35,000
I hate that son of a bitch.
Man, he golfs every day.
310
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,000
He doesn't get his shit done,
talks down.
311
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:40,000
He's prejudiced against anybody
that comes to the country,
312
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,000
just a fat out-of-shape
motherfucker.
313
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,000
Are you really liberal?
I'm suspicious. Prove it.
314
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,000
I hate this piece of shit.
315
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:47,000
Just bend him over
and fuck him,
316
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,000
piece of fucking shit.
Prove you don't like him.
317
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:52,000
Prove that you really
are a liberal.
318
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:55,000
Fuck you, bitch.
To the manhood. Fuck you.
319
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,000
[grunts]
320
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,000
Good. Next.
321
00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:00,000
Ahh, yeah, yeah!
322
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,000
Yeah, titty-fuck you,
motherfucker.
323
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,000
Yeah, take that shit, huh?
You likin' it?
324
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:07,000
I think
you are pro-Trump.
325
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,000
-Yeah, huh?
-Yeah.
326
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:13,000
Okay. What happens if they say,
"We are not convinced"?
327
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:16,000
Yeah, spread those, baby.
Yeah, take that shit, dude.
328
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:19,000
[grunts] Yeah.
329
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:22,000
Yeah, yeah. Come here.
[grunting]
330
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:24,000
Yeah. Come on, dude.
Yeah.
331
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:27,000
Oh, how's that feel,
Mr. Trump?
332
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,000
Where are those taxes,
by the way?
333
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:31,000
[Morad] Now that
the training is finished,
334
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,000
it was time
to choose my partner.
335
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,000
Cody, you are going home.
336
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,000
I am sorry.
337
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:40,000
Darren.
You are going home.
338
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,000
♪♪♪
339
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:45,000
Glenn was perfect
for the mission.
340
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:47,000
So with his training complete,
341
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,000
it was time to fly
to the most dangerous
342
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:53,000
terrorist gathering
in the world --
343
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:56,000
the Women's March
in San Francisco!
344
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:58,000
So, there is
important development.
345
00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:03,000
Overnight, we have
received new intel.
346
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:08,000
There is a radical
lesbian cell from New York.
347
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:12,000
They have developed
a special type of diaper.
348
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:16,000
The diaper have
hormone-um in it.
349
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:19,000
When the baby
wear this diaper,
350
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:23,000
it will turn the baby
into a trans-gander.
351
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:25,000
[exhales sharply]
352
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:28,000
The local Berkeley Antifa
353
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:31,000
will mass-produce
this diaper
354
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:35,000
and put it into
every Republican store.
355
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,000
That's genocide.
356
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:40,000
The local Berkeley
Antifa cell...
Yes.
357
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:44,000
...are expecting to meet
these two radical lesbians.
358
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:45,000
Uh-huh.
359
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,000
Nobody is going to
come here.
360
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:49,000
-You know why?
-Why?
361
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:52,000
Because they missed
their flight, somehow.
362
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:53,000
[laughing evilly]
363
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:55,000
Oh, oh! Oh, okay.
364
00:15:55,000 --> 00:16:01,000
[laughing]
365
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:03,000
Yeah, that's good.
That's good. That's good.
366
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:05,000
-[laughing]
-Mm-hmm, that's good.
367
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:06,000
Mm-hmm.
368
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:11,000
[laughing]
369
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:19,000
This give us the opportunity
to go under the covers.
370
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:21,000
You will play
Dr. Deborah Levine.
371
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:23,000
Oh.
372
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:27,000
She is the genius who
have created this hormone.
373
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,000
Mm-hmm.
374
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,000
I will be playing
375
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:34,000
Dr. Levine's partner
of 12 years, Sandra.
376
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:35,000
Okay.
377
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:40,000
♪♪♪
378
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:45,000
♪♪♪
379
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:48,000
My name is
Dr. Deborah Levine.
380
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:51,000
And Sandra.
We are lesbians.
381
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,000
We have -- I know.
I could tell. Sorry.
Oh, good, good.
382
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:54,000
I didn't mean to be judgy.
383
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:57,000
We will, number one,
384
00:16:57,000 --> 00:17:00,000
convince them that
we are radical lesbians
385
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:03,000
using everything
that I taught you.
386
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:04,000
Hmm.
387
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:07,000
So, we were going to drive
with our Nissan Leaf,
388
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:10,000
which has, uh,
the tire pressure.
389
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:14,000
Oh, yeah. 35 to 36 pounds
per square inch.
390
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:19,000
So, uh, do you like
Girls, the TV show?
391
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,000
-No.
-Oh.
392
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,000
Uh, we love it.
393
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:23,000
Our favorite episode
is, uh --
394
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,000
Oh. Well, you told me yours,
but I kind of disagree,
395
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,000
'cause I like season two,
episode three.
396
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,000
Oh, yes.
397
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:33,000
Yeah. That's where, uh,
Hannah met her down--
398
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:35,000
finally met her
downstairs neighbor.
399
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:36,000
-Laird. And, uh --
-Yeah, Laird.
400
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:41,000
And he had a friend that he
introduced to, uh, Marnie.
401
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,000
He takes her
up to the studio.
402
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:44,000
I guess they hit it off
pretty good, because --
403
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:46,000
[laughs] Yes.
404
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:49,000
To know if they are
the members of the cell,
405
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:52,000
we will say this phrase --
it is a code word --
406
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:55,000
"I'm not wearing
any panties."
407
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:56,000
"I'm not wearing
any panties."
408
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:58,000
-Understood?
-Yes.
409
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,000
-The code word.
-Yeah.
410
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:01,000
Okay. All right.
411
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:03,000
You know, I'm not
wearing any panties.
412
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,000
Oh, this is
San Francisco, man.
Yeah.
413
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,000
Half the people here
aren't wearing them.
414
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,000
-Sure.
-That's right. All right.
415
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:11,000
After we have convinced them
that we are radical lesbians,
416
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:16,000
we will put a tracking
device on their back.
417
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:19,000
This is the
tracking device.
418
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,000
-Understood?
-Yes.
419
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:24,000
♪♪♪
420
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:25,000
Excuse me, buddy.
How'd you say --
421
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,000
How'd you say
you walked up there?
Huh?
422
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,000
How'd you say
you walked up there?
423
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:30,000
Just use your eyes.
Right there in the front.
424
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:32,000
Right there where
people are speaking.
425
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:33,000
-Thank you.
-Come on, dear.
426
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:34,000
You want me to tag her?
427
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:38,000
♪♪♪
428
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,000
I want to tell you
something, all right?
429
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,000
-Yes.
-You did brilliantly, amazing.
430
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:43,000
-Thank you. Thank you.
-Now, listen.
431
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,000
This is the app that
allow us to track them.
432
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,000
-Uh-huh.
-What you don't know
433
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:51,000
is in the transmitter
that we put on their back,
434
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,000
there is a small
explosive device.
435
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,000
Okay.
436
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:57,000
-Small enough to...
-To disable them?
437
00:18:57,000 --> 00:19:00,000
...to create
a fatal heart attack.
438
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:03,000
This is the location of the
young man in the dark jacket.
439
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,000
-Yeah.
-Okay, you know the one?
440
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:06,000
-Yes.
-The real liberal?
441
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,000
-Yes.
-He got it coming to him.
442
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,000
-Yes.
-So just press the two fingers.
443
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:14,000
It will detonate the
explosive on his back.
444
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,000
Press.
445
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:20,000
♪♪♪
446
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,000
[buzz]
447
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:26,000
Congratulation.
You are hero.
448
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:29,000
You foiled the terror plot.
I hope.
449
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:32,000
I've never, uh, participated
in someone's death.
450
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,000
-Really?
-Well --
451
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:36,000
But you are so good at it.
You are a natural.
452
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,000
-I feel a little queasy.
-Don't worry.
453
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:39,000
Can we move around
a little bit?
454
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:42,000
Yeah, sure. Let's walk around.
Let's go in the march.
455
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:46,000
And if we come across the
corpse, just walk past him.
456
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:49,000
You know, I've really had a
fantastic time. You know --
457
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,000
It's been a wonderful
experience for me.
458
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:53,000
It's really just been
such a wonderful day,
459
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:55,000
beautiful weather.
460
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,000
-It is.
-Look at the people here.
461
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:59,000
They are the lowest
of the low.
462
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:01,000
I agree. I've never
seen so much sickness.
463
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,000
-Is your hand on my ass?
-Yes.
464
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,000
-Oh, good. For the cover.
-Yeah.
465
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,000
What did you think
of these people
466
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:08,000
that we were
surrounded by?
467
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,000
-Crazies. Crazy.
-They are crazy.
468
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:13,000
The terrifying thing
about these liberals
469
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,000
is how easy it is
470
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,000
to radicalize them and
turn them into killers.
471
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,000
Yes.
Well, they're little lambs.
472
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,000
I'd be the butcher
before I'd be the sheep.
473
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,000
The interesting thing
about today
474
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,000
is it felt like it
started off as an act,
475
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,000
me and you
as a lesbian couple.
Yes.
476
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,000
-By the end, it felt real...
-It did.
477
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:30,000
...like there was
a connection.
478
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,000
Right.
A lot of people bought it.
479
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,000
There was a woman
who said, uh --
480
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,000
We said we are lesbian, and
she said, "Yeah, obviously."
481
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:39,000
-Yes, uh-huh. Right.
-Did you kill her or not?
482
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:40,000
I can't remember.
483
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,000
Uh, she was the, uh --
484
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:46,000
Was she the long-haired,
short, heavy one?
485
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:50,000
No, a -- an older one.
Did you blow her up or not?
486
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,000
I can't remember now.
487
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:55,000
We worked hard.
Now let's celebrate.
488
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:57,000
Laird? I'm not
asking for anything.
489
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,000
That guy looks like
he has leprosy.
490
00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,000
[both laugh]
491
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:01,000
-Good one.
-Uh-huh.
492
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,000
-Very good-quality writing.
-Yes.
493
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,000
-Mind if I put the arm over?
-No, go ahead.
494
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:08,000
-Just in case somebody walk in.
-Uh-huh.
495
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,000
Do you happen to know where I
can procure some cocaine today?
496
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:14,000
So, um, have you had time
to think about maybe,
497
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:16,000
uh, moving to
Israel and --
498
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:18,000
It's a confusing thought
for me right now.
499
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,000
I have not thought it
completely through.
500
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,000
What, you have not thought
moving to Israel -- in with me?
501
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:24,000
Yes. Yeah.
502
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,000
It's a confusing thought,
just leaving my family.
503
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:31,000
Sure. I mean, I-I would probably
leave my wife for you.
504
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,000
Well, listen.
You did, uh, great.
505
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:34,000
I appreciate it.
I appreciate it.
506
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:36,000
Until the next time.
507
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,000
You come back around,
look me up.
508
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,000
-Thank you. Kiss or no?
-No.
509
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:43,000
[man chanting
in native language]
510
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,000
♪♪♪
511
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:57,000
[woman speaking Italian]
512
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,000
[tape rewinding]
513
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:02,000
[woman speaking Italian]
514
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:08,000
♪♪♪
515
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:09,000
To good friends.
516
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,000
To good friends.
Hopefully, new friends.
517
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:13,000
-Yeah, I hope so.
-Yeah.
518
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:14,000
I actually --
You know what?
519
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:15,000
Let me introduce
my girlfriend,
520
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:17,000
and then we talk
a little business.
521
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:19,000
-Okay.
-Uh, Christina?
522
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:20,000
Sit down, sit down.
523
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,000
Very good.
524
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:25,000
[conversing in Italian]
525
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:27,000
-Uh, hey, hey, hey, hey.
-Huh?
526
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:29,000
...O.J.
527
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:33,000
-...O.J.
-O.J.?
528
00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:35,000
[speaking Italian]
Buffalo Billah.
529
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:37,000
[chuckles]
530
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,000
-Buffalo Billah!
Buffalo Billah!
531
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:40,000
[speaking Italian]
Buffalo Billah?
532
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:44,000
Buffalo Billah.
Football, Americano.
533
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:45,000
[speaking Italian]
534
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,000
I-I played
a long time ago.
535
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:50,000
O.J. Simpson! Naked Gun.
Uno, due, tre!
536
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:53,000
[speaking Italian]
..."Naked Gun."
537
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:54,000
-But it doesn't matter.
-Uhh. I am so embarrassed.
538
00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:56,000
It doesn't matter.
But they're funny movies.
539
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:59,000
O.J.!
YA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA!
540
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,000
[gasps]
541
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:05,000
-Oh! Mamma mia! O.J.!
-O.J.
542
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:07,000
-[chuckling]
She knows that. Oh, Jesus.
543
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:09,000
-O.J.! Oh, my God!
-Lord, help me. Help me.
544
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,000
[speaking Italian]
545
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:14,000
Oh! Mamma mia!
Mwah!
546
00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,000
O.J.!
LA-LA-LA-LA!
547
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:18,000
YA-LA-LA-YA-LA-LA!
OHH-LA-YA-LA-LA!
548
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,000
-So nice to meet you!
-And a pleasure meeting you.
549
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:22,000
-Okay.
-Oh, my God.
550
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:23,000
I'm so --
I'm so sorry.
551
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:27,000
[conversing in Italian]
552
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:29,000
She saying
you're very handsome.
553
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:30,000
-Well, thank you.
-It's okay. You can --
554
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:33,000
-She's gorgeous.
-Yeah, okay. You can enjoy her.
555
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:36,000
Just don't, uh, don't --
YA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA!
556
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,000
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
557
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:39,000
"No, no, no,
no, no, no."
558
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:42,000
[conversing in Italian]
559
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:43,000
We're gonna talk
business now.
560
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:48,000
[muttering in Italian]
561
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:50,000
-Gorgeous.
-She's gorgeous.
562
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:52,000
But sometimes
I wanna kill her, you know?
563
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:54,000
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
564
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,000
I wanna send her on
a private helicopter tour
565
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:58,000
over the Grand Canyon.
566
00:23:58,000 --> 00:23:59,000
-Whoopsie-daisy!
-Oopsie-daisy.
567
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:01,000
Oopsie-daisy.
BA-BA-BA!
568
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:04,000
[chuckling ]
Stop. Stop.
569
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:05,000
No, no, no.
570
00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:08,000
Maybe I send her on a
bungee jump, you know, where --
571
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:10,000
Oh, the cord!
BA-HA-HA-HA!
572
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,000
Cord -- Cord extra-long?
573
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:14,000
-Cord extra-long. Oh! Bang!
-"Oh, it was too long."
574
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:17,000
Oh, hey, hey, hey,
how was I to know
575
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:19,000
that it was
extra-elasticated?
576
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:22,000
[both chuckling ]
577
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:25,000
No, but I've been --
I've been very unlucky in love.
578
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:27,000
My ex-wife --
579
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:30,000
You seem lucky in love
to me.
580
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:32,000
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
But I don't love her.
581
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:35,000
Sometimes she -- Sometimes
I want to completely kill her.
582
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,000
Stop!
[chuckling] Stop.
583
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:39,000
If I do, you introduce me
to Cochran.
584
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:41,000
Yeah. Johnnie.
585
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,000
Well, I would have to introduce
you in the afterlife.
586
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:45,000
What, you didn't
kill him, too, did you?
587
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:48,000
Stop, man!
Jesus Christ, man!
588
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:49,000
[both laughing]
Listen.
589
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:52,000
My business partner
is Sheikh Mansour...
590
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,000
Yeah.
He wants a one-on-one
just with you and him.
591
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:58,000
And he's obsessed about
592
00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:02,000
what happened the night
with the wife.
593
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,000
-Yeah.
-And he wants you to tell him.
594
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:07,000
-What wife?
-The one you shot.
595
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:09,000
Well, first of all,
she wasn't my wife.
Oh.
596
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:10,000
We had been divorced and
separated for two years.
597
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:12,000
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Sorry, sorry. I'm sorry.
598
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:13,000
-Except that I didn't do it.
-I didn't know.
599
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:15,000
Well, if he's obsessed,
hey, look.
600
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:18,000
We want you to be 100% truthful
how you got away with it.
601
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,000
-That's what he wants to know.
-Hey! Hey, hey.
602
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,000
-I didn't get away with nothing.
-Yeah, yeah, I didn't get away
603
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:23,000
with anything
with my wife, either.
604
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:26,000
She committed suicide.
[laughs]
605
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,000
-Look. Stop.
-She got depressed,
606
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:31,000
and she put herself
into a bagful of rocks
607
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:33,000
and then managed to
drag herself into the sea.
608
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:38,000
And you weren't charged,
so good for you.
609
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:40,000
Me and you,
we got something in common.
610
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:43,000
We both, uh, how you say --
lady killers.
611
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:45,000
You know, it's not
what it sounds like.
612
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:47,000
In Italian,
it translates to, uh,
613
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:50,000
somebody who,
uh, murders women.
614
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:51,000
[laughs]
No, I didn't kill nobody.
615
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:54,000
Oh, I didn't, either!
I didn't, either!
616
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:57,000
[both chuckling]
617
00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:59,000
What I hate about the press is
you make one tiny, little slip,
618
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:01,000
and that's all
they remember you for.
619
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:03,000
Yeah.
You're not
the O.J. the touchdown.
620
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:05,000
You're not the O.J.
the movie star.
Yeah.
621
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:07,000
You kill, uh,
two silly people,
622
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:09,000
and suddenly, you are
O.J. the murderer.
623
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:11,000
Stop. Stop.
624
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:12,000
You wanna have --
You wanna have some cheese?
625
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:15,000
-No, I'm fine.
-Should I hide the knives?
626
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:17,000
Hide the knives!
O.J. is in town!
627
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:19,000
No, no.
628
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:24,000
[man chanting
in native language]
629
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:27,000
[group chanting
in native language]
630
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:32,000
♪♪♪
631
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:37,000
♪♪♪
632
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:42,000
♪♪♪
633
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:47,000
♪♪♪
634
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:52,000
♪♪♪
635
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:57,000
♪♪♪
636
00:26:57,000 --> 00:27:01,000
♪♪♪
637
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:06,000
♪♪♪
638
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:11,000
♪♪♪
639
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:16,000
♪♪♪
640
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:21,000
♪♪♪
641
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:26,000
♪♪♪
642
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:28,000
"Uhh, I don't know
what I said. Uhh!"
643
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,000
♪♪♪
47063
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