All language subtitles for The Simpsons - 28x02 - Friends and Family.HDTV.REPACK.KILLERS.en

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:16,439 --> 00:00:18,407 _ 2 00:00:24,666 --> 00:00:26,300 D'oh! 3 00:00:27,369 --> 00:00:28,402 Ugh! 4 00:00:29,408 --> 00:00:32,150 - sync and corrections by Caio - - www.addic7ed.com - 5 00:00:33,742 --> 00:00:35,743 I'm too fat! 6 00:00:36,927 --> 00:00:39,162 Still too fat! 7 00:00:39,187 --> 00:00:40,221 Ugh! 8 00:00:53,061 --> 00:00:55,229 Come on, sir. You'll be late for your appointment. 9 00:00:55,263 --> 00:00:57,965 Hush! No one must know I'm not in perfect mental health. 10 00:00:57,999 --> 00:00:59,900 The Kaiser would be furious! 11 00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:13,180 Hip joints! Who wants a hip joint? 12 00:01:13,214 --> 00:01:16,383 Eyeballs! Can't see without your eyeballs! 13 00:01:16,418 --> 00:01:19,353 Euthanasia! Sweet, sweet euthanasia! 14 00:01:19,387 --> 00:01:21,388 Ooh. Can I buy it as a gift? 15 00:01:21,423 --> 00:01:22,489 No! 16 00:01:28,229 --> 00:01:29,830 Mm. 17 00:01:29,864 --> 00:01:32,099 Hmm. 18 00:01:33,568 --> 00:01:35,169 Come on in, Monty. 19 00:01:35,203 --> 00:01:39,173 I believe last week we were discussing your anger issues. 20 00:01:39,207 --> 00:01:42,977 Anger issues? Anger issues?! 21 00:01:43,011 --> 00:01:46,714 Anger issues? Anger issues?! 22 00:01:46,748 --> 00:01:49,616 Yeah, all right, I'm afraid our 50 minutes are almost up. 23 00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:51,652 Sorry. You were saying? 24 00:01:54,756 --> 00:01:57,024 Monty, I give up. 25 00:01:57,058 --> 00:02:00,527 - After only 70 years of therapy? - You're never gonna change. 26 00:02:00,562 --> 00:02:02,930 You-you will never have this. 27 00:02:02,964 --> 00:02:05,966 A cheap piece of plastic with photos of ugly people? 28 00:02:06,001 --> 00:02:08,936 That is my family... people who love me. 29 00:02:08,970 --> 00:02:10,204 Yes, you're right. 30 00:02:10,238 --> 00:02:12,439 I should consider encasing people in plastic. 31 00:02:12,474 --> 00:02:14,908 Then I could always see the look of fear in their faces. 32 00:02:14,943 --> 00:02:17,077 Yeah, we're finished here. Get out. 33 00:02:17,112 --> 00:02:19,713 May I remind you I'm paying you five dollars an hour? 34 00:02:19,748 --> 00:02:22,649 Oi! Why did I lock in at that rate? 35 00:02:28,590 --> 00:02:29,923 What? 36 00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:35,462 Hmm. No pulse. Oh, wait, that's me. 37 00:02:36,464 --> 00:02:40,567 Dead. So sad. He was a true friend. 38 00:02:40,602 --> 00:02:43,670 - _ - Mm-hmm. Excellent. 39 00:02:45,907 --> 00:02:49,543 I can't believe Dr. Nussbaum's dead. 40 00:02:49,577 --> 00:02:52,646 Um, we've had a lot of therapists. 41 00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:54,014 Which one was he again? 42 00:02:54,049 --> 00:02:56,950 He was the one who helped us communicate. 43 00:02:56,985 --> 00:03:00,354 - You never listen to a word I say! - I have to listen all day at work. 44 00:03:00,388 --> 00:03:01,855 - You're not listening now. - I'm listened out! 45 00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:03,257 What? "Listened out." 46 00:03:03,291 --> 00:03:05,025 - Not listening, not listening... - What does that even mean? 47 00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:07,728 Let's hear what the children have to say. 48 00:03:07,762 --> 00:03:10,230 - I'm gonna wet the bed to get their attention. - Not listening... 49 00:03:10,265 --> 00:03:11,598 You're the one sleeping in it. 50 00:03:11,633 --> 00:03:13,867 I didn't say I'd wet my bed. 51 00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:15,069 Please, Marge! Do we have to burden 52 00:03:15,103 --> 00:03:17,071 Dr. Nussbaum with our problems? 53 00:03:17,105 --> 00:03:19,440 - Maggie talk! - The man has problems of his own! 54 00:03:19,474 --> 00:03:22,376 Maggie talk! 55 00:03:22,410 --> 00:03:25,746 No one listen? Maggie never talk again. 56 00:03:27,215 --> 00:03:29,516 - That's not what happened. - That's exactly what happened. 57 00:03:29,551 --> 00:03:31,118 I believe I remember what happened, Marge. 58 00:03:31,152 --> 00:03:32,319 How could you remember? 59 00:03:32,353 --> 00:03:34,188 You were looking at your phone half the time. 60 00:03:34,222 --> 00:03:36,423 When you have four bar Wi-Fi, you use it! 61 00:03:36,458 --> 00:03:39,760 Oh, look. It's the ugly people from the cube. 62 00:03:39,794 --> 00:03:41,595 Uh, if we can begin. 63 00:03:41,629 --> 00:03:42,930 Oh, of course. 64 00:03:42,964 --> 00:03:45,466 Oh, this man meant a great deal to me. 65 00:03:45,500 --> 00:03:48,302 And helping out with the cost of this service was the least I could do. 66 00:03:48,336 --> 00:03:49,736 Very sweet. 67 00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:52,106 Smithers? 68 00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:55,576 For shame! 69 00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:04,351 Stoned at a funeral. 70 00:04:04,385 --> 00:04:06,687 Ooh, wow! Where's the funeral? 71 00:04:08,823 --> 00:04:10,924 Oh! Just what I wanted. 72 00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:12,759 Just get me home quickly. 73 00:04:17,298 --> 00:04:21,168 And this year's Nobel Prize for Physics goes to... 74 00:04:21,202 --> 00:04:23,303 Professor John Frink. 75 00:04:29,844 --> 00:04:33,647 Ah, thank you, Queen Sonya, and all the people at HBO... 76 00:04:33,681 --> 00:04:36,116 the, uh, Higgs Boson Observatory. 77 00:04:36,151 --> 00:04:37,117 You'll see there. 78 00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:39,520 Oi! Oiven! 79 00:04:39,554 --> 00:04:41,355 I-I didn't mean to hit him, sir. 80 00:04:41,389 --> 00:04:43,557 Well, how could a man in his right mind 81 00:04:43,591 --> 00:04:45,359 miss a car heading right towards him? 82 00:04:46,394 --> 00:04:47,761 Idiot! 83 00:04:47,795 --> 00:04:50,697 I think it's this headpiece he's wearing, sir. 84 00:04:50,732 --> 00:04:53,634 If I may ask, what makes this device so enchanting 85 00:04:53,668 --> 00:04:55,402 that you ignore the real world? 86 00:04:55,436 --> 00:04:57,905 Is there a milkmaid skipping rope? 87 00:05:01,676 --> 00:05:03,510 Oi! Gloivick! 88 00:05:03,545 --> 00:05:06,013 The Oculus Frink... or Froculus... 89 00:05:06,047 --> 00:05:09,783 provides you with a complete virtual reality experience. 90 00:05:09,817 --> 00:05:12,986 Letting you live in a world of your dreams. 91 00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:14,154 Goi! 92 00:05:18,126 --> 00:05:21,128 To adjust the focus, turn the dial on the side. Oi. 93 00:05:24,566 --> 00:05:27,434 Now for the after-party! 94 00:05:35,243 --> 00:05:36,643 I must have it! 95 00:05:36,678 --> 00:05:38,745 Oh, uh, can you drop me off first? 96 00:05:45,072 --> 00:05:47,822 _ 97 00:05:53,369 --> 00:05:55,203 Hmm, not bad. Next? 98 00:05:55,237 --> 00:05:57,205 This is still a new technology, sir. 99 00:05:57,239 --> 00:06:00,074 At the moment, it's really just lots of pornography, 100 00:06:00,109 --> 00:06:02,310 a roller coaster, pornography, pornography, 101 00:06:02,344 --> 00:06:04,245 Burger King ad, pornography, 102 00:06:04,279 --> 00:06:06,247 and... and this one. 103 00:06:15,624 --> 00:06:17,825 Dragon porn. 104 00:06:19,528 --> 00:06:20,762 Oh, yeah. 105 00:06:20,796 --> 00:06:22,697 - Oh, yeah. Oh. - Oh, flame on, baby. 106 00:06:22,731 --> 00:06:23,731 Flame on! 107 00:06:23,766 --> 00:06:24,966 Hot! Hot! 108 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,434 Don't tell my wife, okay? 109 00:06:26,468 --> 00:06:27,668 Oh, sorry, sir. 110 00:06:27,703 --> 00:06:29,270 This one is also pornography. 111 00:06:29,304 --> 00:06:31,105 Oh, so boring. 112 00:06:32,141 --> 00:06:33,775 Trim those nails, Smithers. 113 00:06:33,809 --> 00:06:35,810 Uh, sir, if I might suggest, 114 00:06:35,844 --> 00:06:37,912 the last thing your therapist said was, 115 00:06:37,946 --> 00:06:39,113 "You need a family." 116 00:06:39,148 --> 00:06:40,848 I don't need anyone. 117 00:06:41,950 --> 00:06:45,119 We could program a virtual family for you, sir. 118 00:06:45,154 --> 00:06:47,155 A virtual family. Yes. 119 00:06:47,189 --> 00:06:48,689 Meanwhile, let me see the one again 120 00:06:48,724 --> 00:06:50,858 where I shoot the beloved lion in Africa. 121 00:06:50,893 --> 00:06:52,326 That was reality, sir. 122 00:06:52,361 --> 00:06:54,996 Mm. I've lived quite the life. 123 00:06:55,030 --> 00:06:56,397 Quite the life. 124 00:06:56,432 --> 00:06:57,932 Ooh! 125 00:06:59,334 --> 00:07:02,003 Uh, we only need three children, thanks. 126 00:07:02,037 --> 00:07:04,305 Oh, what kind of coal mine you runnin'? 127 00:07:05,774 --> 00:07:09,844 You, wife, look at me lovingly, as if I'm your husband. 128 00:07:11,046 --> 00:07:13,347 Eh, can you ask for a look of indifference? 129 00:07:13,382 --> 00:07:14,816 I think she can do that. 130 00:07:14,850 --> 00:07:17,118 Luann, pretend it's my birthday. 131 00:07:17,152 --> 00:07:18,186 Next. 132 00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:20,455 You promised me a job, Dad! 133 00:07:20,489 --> 00:07:22,590 I was gonna buy a fat Barbie. 134 00:07:22,624 --> 00:07:24,192 It's Curvy Barbie. 135 00:07:24,226 --> 00:07:27,462 And that would mean you have to buy all new clothes. 136 00:07:28,797 --> 00:07:30,965 Uh, this thing says all families in the plant 137 00:07:30,999 --> 00:07:32,500 are required to try out. 138 00:07:32,534 --> 00:07:33,768 So far, so good. 139 00:07:33,802 --> 00:07:36,604 Two-and-a-half children, wife with current hairstyle. 140 00:07:36,638 --> 00:07:37,576 You're all hired. 141 00:07:37,601 --> 00:07:39,907 Except you, fatso. We don't need a father. 142 00:07:39,942 --> 00:07:41,709 I'll be the rooster in this henhouse. 143 00:07:41,743 --> 00:07:43,444 That is so disappointing. 144 00:07:43,479 --> 00:07:46,013 I've always wanted to work for Mr. Burns. 145 00:07:49,351 --> 00:07:51,252 Okay, family scene. 146 00:07:51,286 --> 00:07:53,054 And... action. 147 00:08:05,701 --> 00:08:08,803 This isn't a word I use lightly, but... excellent. 148 00:08:08,837 --> 00:08:10,171 Oh, Smithers, one favor: 149 00:08:10,205 --> 00:08:12,673 make the children look like they're mine. 150 00:08:14,676 --> 00:08:17,245 No, no, no! It's too beautiful. 151 00:08:17,279 --> 00:08:19,347 Like a Supreme Court full of Scalias. 152 00:08:19,381 --> 00:08:21,315 Switch to something else. 153 00:08:26,955 --> 00:08:28,022 That's good. 154 00:08:28,056 --> 00:08:29,624 What's the matter, Homer? 155 00:08:29,658 --> 00:08:30,958 Last night, Marge and the kids 156 00:08:30,993 --> 00:08:33,094 didn't get home till 11:00 at night. 157 00:08:33,128 --> 00:08:35,429 When I came back from Moe's at 11:05, 158 00:08:35,464 --> 00:08:37,431 they were still taking off their coats! 159 00:08:37,466 --> 00:08:41,435 I hear old man Burns is just living in a fantasy world now. 160 00:08:41,470 --> 00:08:42,870 En garde! 161 00:08:42,905 --> 00:08:44,405 Mm, must be nice. 162 00:08:44,439 --> 00:08:47,608 Hey, there he is. Wonder what he's watching now. 163 00:08:47,643 --> 00:08:48,910 Home movies. 164 00:08:49,945 --> 00:08:54,849 ♪ Happy birthday, dear Burnsie ♪ 165 00:08:54,883 --> 00:08:59,187 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 166 00:08:59,221 --> 00:09:01,589 ♪ And maybe more. ♪ 167 00:09:01,623 --> 00:09:04,025 Thank you, thank you. 168 00:09:04,059 --> 00:09:05,893 Now, your mother's going to take me upstairs 169 00:09:05,928 --> 00:09:08,262 to give me... her present. 170 00:09:12,801 --> 00:09:15,903 Oh, Smithers, could you remove the ankle bar? 171 00:09:15,938 --> 00:09:18,806 More. More. More. 172 00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:20,441 Oh... 173 00:09:21,563 --> 00:09:23,398 Oh, that was wonderful. 174 00:09:23,423 --> 00:09:25,724 I'm picking up your ten-year options. 175 00:09:25,846 --> 00:09:27,313 Ten years?! 176 00:09:27,386 --> 00:09:29,287 Oh, now, now, no discussion. 177 00:09:29,312 --> 00:09:30,679 We're a family now. 178 00:09:31,862 --> 00:09:34,597 Ugh! What is that? A river otter? 179 00:09:39,161 --> 00:09:41,929 We're not coming home, Homie. 180 00:09:41,964 --> 00:09:44,765 What? What do I do without you here? 181 00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:48,102 You can do what you did with me there: go to Moe's. 182 00:09:48,136 --> 00:09:49,804 Aw, it's not the same 183 00:09:49,838 --> 00:09:52,840 if I'm not trying to avoid some unpleasant chore. 184 00:09:52,874 --> 00:09:54,275 Oh. You could clean out the attic. 185 00:09:54,309 --> 00:09:55,776 Going to Moe's! 186 00:09:56,812 --> 00:09:58,613 Eh, no one to go home to, huh? 187 00:09:58,647 --> 00:10:00,681 Yeah, take it from me, that's rough. 188 00:10:00,716 --> 00:10:01,682 Yeah. 189 00:10:01,717 --> 00:10:03,084 Heading back to an empty house. 190 00:10:03,118 --> 00:10:05,052 No one there to tell you what to do, 191 00:10:05,087 --> 00:10:06,854 no kids fighting all the time. 192 00:10:06,888 --> 00:10:08,055 Wait a minute. 193 00:10:08,090 --> 00:10:10,491 I can eat dinner in any room of the house! 194 00:10:10,525 --> 00:10:12,960 And not the scary ones like the basement and Bart's bedroom. 195 00:10:12,995 --> 00:10:15,463 And I can drink at home! 196 00:10:15,497 --> 00:10:17,798 Whoa, whoa! You're twisting my words there. 197 00:10:17,833 --> 00:10:20,401 That would be cheaper! And I wouldn't have to drive! 198 00:10:20,435 --> 00:10:21,869 And you are kind of mean. 199 00:10:21,903 --> 00:10:23,904 No one calls me mean. 200 00:10:25,474 --> 00:10:27,308 Moe, you're proving my point. 201 00:10:27,342 --> 00:10:29,877 Here we are talking, and you pull a shotgun on me. 202 00:10:29,911 --> 00:10:32,313 But there's never any bullets in this. Watch. 203 00:10:33,915 --> 00:10:35,583 Ha! Good gag, huh? 204 00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:35,294 Mmm, does that turn you on? 205 00:11:35,337 --> 00:11:37,972 Oh, yes. That's hot. 206 00:11:39,256 --> 00:11:41,291 The perfect temperature. 207 00:11:44,586 --> 00:11:48,468 Ah, Snoopy knew what he was doing, all right. 208 00:11:48,508 --> 00:11:50,142 - How you doing? - Aah! 209 00:11:50,176 --> 00:11:53,178 Don't worry, I've seen you naked plenty of times. 210 00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:54,780 I live in the house behind yours. 211 00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:57,783 I don't think my wife would like this. 212 00:11:57,817 --> 00:12:00,619 Hey, I got a boyfriend, and you're not my type. 213 00:12:00,654 --> 00:12:02,154 Could you both keep it down? 214 00:12:02,189 --> 00:12:03,622 I'm trying to count pennies. 215 00:12:03,657 --> 00:12:05,791 Stupid Flanders. 216 00:12:05,825 --> 00:12:08,727 Oh! You made me lose count. 217 00:12:10,830 --> 00:12:12,765 Homer, it looks like you're out of beer, pal. 218 00:12:14,801 --> 00:12:17,069 Wow, can a man just be friends 219 00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:18,404 with a woman? 220 00:12:18,437 --> 00:12:19,504 Here are some pretzels. 221 00:12:20,272 --> 00:12:21,372 Yes, he can! 222 00:12:25,523 --> 00:12:27,624 Aw, don't worry. I'll fix that. 223 00:12:28,781 --> 00:12:30,682 Have one. I'm celebrating. 224 00:12:30,717 --> 00:12:32,184 My boyfriend proposed. 225 00:12:32,218 --> 00:12:33,986 Wow! You'll get to enjoy 226 00:12:34,020 --> 00:12:37,789 the most magical part of married life: the beginning. 227 00:12:37,824 --> 00:12:40,592 Mmm... 228 00:12:40,627 --> 00:12:42,861 So, uh, where's the lucky guy? 229 00:12:42,895 --> 00:12:44,396 Gone for the weekend. 230 00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:45,530 He's an airline pilot. 231 00:12:45,565 --> 00:12:47,332 Maybe he and I can go out for beers 232 00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:49,101 - before a flight. - Mm. 233 00:12:49,135 --> 00:12:50,502 Where's your wife? 234 00:12:50,536 --> 00:12:52,838 Uh, she's staying at this billionaire's house, 235 00:12:52,872 --> 00:12:54,806 working as a virtual reality actress. 236 00:12:54,841 --> 00:12:55,841 You know, the usual. 237 00:12:56,876 --> 00:12:58,010 Oh, Homer? 238 00:12:58,044 --> 00:12:59,845 Something's going on with Homer. 239 00:12:59,879 --> 00:13:01,680 My spousal sense is tingling. 240 00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:04,449 Mom, you blew the take! 241 00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:06,551 Okay, that's it. I'll direct. 242 00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:08,387 And I'll show you how a pro does it. 243 00:13:08,421 --> 00:13:10,389 You, daughter character, say you love me. 244 00:13:10,423 --> 00:13:11,390 I love you. 245 00:13:11,424 --> 00:13:12,491 Like you mean it. 246 00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:14,192 I really love you. 247 00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:15,460 Once more, with feeling. 248 00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:18,096 I... really... 249 00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:20,899 love... you. 250 00:13:20,933 --> 00:13:21,900 Blech. 251 00:13:21,934 --> 00:13:23,969 This girl has no chops whatsoever. 252 00:13:24,003 --> 00:13:25,971 The existence of my chops 253 00:13:26,005 --> 00:13:29,541 is not for the likes of yo to ascertain, my good sir. 254 00:13:29,575 --> 00:13:31,543 Would you like some eggs 255 00:13:31,577 --> 00:13:33,145 with that ham? 256 00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:37,015 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 257 00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:39,151 Looks like the old make-out king's 258 00:13:39,185 --> 00:13:41,219 got a new queen, huh? 259 00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:43,188 Guys, we're just friends. 260 00:13:43,222 --> 00:13:44,990 It's purely catatonic. 261 00:13:45,024 --> 00:13:46,191 "Platonic." 262 00:13:46,225 --> 00:13:48,126 That means she's into me, 263 00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:49,828 but I'm keeping it cool. 264 00:13:49,862 --> 00:13:52,631 I like you, but that's not what it means. 265 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:54,299 Sure, right. 266 00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:58,070 Here you go, the antipasto, to share. 267 00:13:58,104 --> 00:14:00,539 Ooh...! 268 00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:02,474 Would you fellas like to join us? 269 00:14:04,610 --> 00:14:06,745 When did salad get so awful? 270 00:14:06,779 --> 00:14:08,747 Kale ruined everything. 271 00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:12,517 You're just like a guy. 272 00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:14,619 You're funny, you like to eat crap. 273 00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:16,421 If I may get personal, 274 00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:18,857 - what's your bowling average? - 212. 275 00:14:18,891 --> 00:14:21,426 Oh, my God, you're my best friend! 276 00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:23,995 And that's all. Just friends. 277 00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:25,363 Eh, we shall see. 278 00:14:25,398 --> 00:14:29,201 There is one test for a-romance that never fails. 279 00:14:29,235 --> 00:14:31,203 Enjoy it. 280 00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:39,044 That is not a-love! 281 00:14:39,078 --> 00:14:43,048 This is the best... we're friends, no one has any reason to get upset, 282 00:14:43,082 --> 00:14:44,616 and no one gets hurt. 283 00:14:44,650 --> 00:14:46,184 To no one getting hurt. 284 00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:47,385 Smash-cut to Marge! 285 00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:50,255 "Look, Monty, our daughter, the president, 286 00:14:50,289 --> 00:14:51,890 is delivering her speech." 287 00:14:51,924 --> 00:14:55,227 Excuse me, do I ever get a joke? 288 00:14:55,261 --> 00:14:56,294 Keep rolling. 289 00:14:56,329 --> 00:14:59,231 "Mr. Vice President, Madam Speaker, 290 00:14:59,265 --> 00:15:01,066 "Chinese Overlords, 291 00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:04,336 years ago, our forefathers, and foremothers..." 292 00:15:04,370 --> 00:15:05,637 Stick to the script! 293 00:15:05,671 --> 00:15:08,707 Oh, you try to give direction to a bunch of land apes 294 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:13,411 who aren't worth the ping-pong balls stuck to their untalented asses! 295 00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:15,247 Idiots! Mountebanks! 296 00:15:15,281 --> 00:15:17,149 Featherwits! Poltroons! 297 00:15:18,384 --> 00:15:22,287 Saint Francis himself would vomit with rage! 298 00:15:22,321 --> 00:15:23,989 Okay, you heard him, people. 299 00:15:24,023 --> 00:15:25,924 That was great, just a little more energy. 300 00:15:25,958 --> 00:15:30,328 Sir, I know you're getting frustrated, so we recorded some future scenarios. 301 00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:33,765 Yes, let's see what life will be like when I'm old. 302 00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,834 I'm going to build homes for the homeless 303 00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:40,272 with my boyfriend Sean, then it's off to Vassar in the fall. 304 00:15:40,306 --> 00:15:42,808 Irish boyfriend? Helping the homeless? 305 00:15:42,842 --> 00:15:45,343 Well, every family has one black sheep. 306 00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:46,611 Let's move on. 307 00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:49,014 How did this happen? 308 00:15:49,298 --> 00:15:51,533 Don't you take that tone with me. 309 00:15:53,052 --> 00:15:54,352 A Harvard man? 310 00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:55,921 I was warned there'd be nausea. 311 00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:58,790 I don't need them. My life is perfect. 312 00:16:01,227 --> 00:16:04,129 My life is perfect. 313 00:16:04,163 --> 00:16:07,499 49, 50. My life is perfect! 314 00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:10,368 Have you seen my Canadian penny? 315 00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:11,970 Oh, darn it, darn it, darn it! 316 00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:15,907 Everyone out! You're all fired! 317 00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:18,076 Having a family is the most meaningless experience 318 00:16:18,110 --> 00:16:19,544 I could imagine. 319 00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:20,812 Try acting. 320 00:16:20,847 --> 00:16:22,013 Mm... 321 00:16:22,048 --> 00:16:23,048 Come on, kids. 322 00:16:23,082 --> 00:16:24,449 I'm taking my bathrobe. 323 00:16:24,483 --> 00:16:25,917 There's a dye pack stitched in. 324 00:16:27,086 --> 00:16:29,020 Joke's on you. I like this better. 325 00:16:29,055 --> 00:16:30,856 Oh, go ahead, take your robe. 326 00:16:30,890 --> 00:16:35,594 But you'll never work in single-viewer virtual reality family melodrama again. 327 00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:39,531 Did you see the guitar lessons sign on the telephone pole? 328 00:16:39,565 --> 00:16:40,866 I took a tab. 329 00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:45,036 No, I'm not gonna take the lessons, I just needed to blow my nose. 330 00:16:45,071 --> 00:16:47,339 Ooh, my family's here. Gotta go. 331 00:16:47,373 --> 00:16:49,174 Hey, guys! It's good to see you. 332 00:16:49,208 --> 00:16:52,544 Hmm. Good to see you. Who were you talking to? 333 00:16:52,662 --> 00:16:53,862 My friend Julia. 334 00:16:53,897 --> 00:16:57,366 -Julia? Like a girl? - She's not a girl. 335 00:16:57,400 --> 00:16:59,301 She's three years younger than your mother. 336 00:17:00,437 --> 00:17:02,071 Now, Marge, it's cool. 337 00:17:02,105 --> 00:17:05,541 All we do is share our deepest thoughts and feelings. 338 00:17:05,575 --> 00:17:06,809 Mm-hmm. 339 00:17:06,843 --> 00:17:09,979 Kids, could you leave the room, please? 340 00:17:10,013 --> 00:17:12,648 Faster! 341 00:17:12,682 --> 00:17:13,682 Geronimo! 342 00:17:14,884 --> 00:17:18,587 Marge, it's nothing. She's just my new best friend. 343 00:17:21,358 --> 00:17:24,193 What the... Why... Why are you mad at those eggs?! 344 00:17:24,227 --> 00:17:26,161 They didn't do anything! 345 00:17:26,196 --> 00:17:29,732 Homer Simpson! 346 00:17:29,766 --> 00:17:32,234 After all I've put up with for all these years, 347 00:17:32,268 --> 00:17:36,572 if I'm not your best friend, what is this marriage about?! 348 00:17:36,606 --> 00:17:38,374 Okay, okay, you're my best friend. 349 00:17:38,408 --> 00:17:40,843 She's just somebody I call when I'm mad at you. 350 00:17:42,912 --> 00:17:44,246 I mean, I'm never mad at you. 351 00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:45,914 Well, sometimes I'm mad at you. 352 00:17:45,949 --> 00:17:47,916 A little bit! But I shouldn't call her. 353 00:17:47,951 --> 00:17:50,586 I should just drink it off at Moe's. 354 00:17:50,620 --> 00:17:53,355 You'll never hear the name Julia again. 355 00:17:53,390 --> 00:17:55,891 - Hi, I'm Julia. - Neh! 356 00:17:55,925 --> 00:17:59,695 I just wanted to introduce myself and tell you you've got a great husband. 357 00:17:59,729 --> 00:18:03,432 I've got a nice bicycle, too, but I keep a lock on it. 358 00:18:03,466 --> 00:18:07,269 I have no interest in... riding your bike. 359 00:18:07,303 --> 00:18:09,972 But I want you to know that your bike loves you 360 00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:12,408 as truly as a bike can. 361 00:18:12,442 --> 00:18:15,911 And, Marge, I love you as much as that bike. 362 00:18:15,945 --> 00:18:18,714 - You are the bike. - Wha...?! 363 00:18:22,585 --> 00:18:24,787 I'm-I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 364 00:18:24,821 --> 00:18:27,222 Apparently, you didn't do anything wrong. 365 00:18:27,257 --> 00:18:29,625 But I'm not wrong for getting mad at you either. 366 00:18:29,659 --> 00:18:32,961 Marge, Julia taught me lots of stuff that could help us. 367 00:18:32,996 --> 00:18:35,264 For example, I realize that when you see me 368 00:18:35,298 --> 00:18:39,401 doing something stupid and you don't say anything about it, you know, 369 00:18:39,436 --> 00:18:41,103 and you're just being nice. 370 00:18:41,137 --> 00:18:44,940 - That's true. - And when something's bothering you, 371 00:18:44,974 --> 00:18:50,746 sometimes I should just say, "I understand," instead of trying to fix it. 372 00:18:50,780 --> 00:18:55,584 Because all you really need is someone to know what you're feeling. 373 00:18:55,618 --> 00:18:58,220 That is really, really lovely. 374 00:19:01,491 --> 00:19:04,126 I have to confess, I did see him naked on the roof. 375 00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:07,296 I did, too, and I was at 10,000 feet. 376 00:19:07,330 --> 00:19:10,566 Now for the final fantasy. 377 00:19:12,669 --> 00:19:15,904 Oh, my love, my love, 378 00:19:15,939 --> 00:19:19,741 losing you so young, so beautiful. 379 00:19:19,776 --> 00:19:21,577 Still no jokes. 380 00:19:23,513 --> 00:19:27,716 I love you, and how. 381 00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:31,153 You're too good for heaven, man. 382 00:19:31,187 --> 00:19:33,522 Excellent. 383 00:19:41,071 --> 00:19:42,538 Welcome, Monty. 384 00:19:42,563 --> 00:19:45,298 I'd like to take a selfie with you. 385 00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:48,994 All right, but just one. 386 00:19:49,529 --> 00:19:51,029 Hmm, it's not plugged in. 387 00:19:52,955 --> 00:19:54,228 _ 388 00:20:06,927 --> 00:20:07,994 _ 389 00:20:25,637 --> 00:20:28,430 - sync and corrections by Caio - - www.addic7ed.com - 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 27788

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