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1
00:00:02,500 --> 00:00:04,299
My name is Axe Cop.
2
00:00:04,367 --> 00:00:07,462
I live in a house with
two invisible doors,
3
00:00:07,499 --> 00:00:10,524
one for my pet dinosaur
and one for me.
4
00:00:10,555 --> 00:00:13,337
I only wear underwear
that has a picture of me
5
00:00:13,356 --> 00:00:15,447
chopping off a bad guy's head.
6
00:00:15,470 --> 00:00:17,939
When I turn,the picture of me moves
7
00:00:17,977 --> 00:00:20,275
and chops off his head.
8
00:00:20,322 --> 00:00:22,868
In the morning, I usually
find a broken window
9
00:00:22,900 --> 00:00:25,525
and I see a bad guygetting away in the distance.
10
00:00:28,824 --> 00:00:31,161
I have a rigorous
exercise routine.
11
00:00:32,971 --> 00:00:35,599
I can do an infinite amountof reps of everything.
12
00:00:35,624 --> 00:00:37,771
A billion and six, billion and
seven, billion and eight...
13
00:00:37,811 --> 00:00:39,974
When I arrive
at the Axe Cop station
14
00:00:40,005 --> 00:00:43,646
the first thing I do is print out
a list of bad guys to kill
15
00:00:43,669 --> 00:00:46,037
and then I kill them all.
16
00:00:48,906 --> 00:00:50,786
At night,
after everyone goes home...
17
00:00:50,858 --> 00:00:53,004
- Good night, Axe Cop.
- to be with their families,
18
00:00:53,058 --> 00:00:55,067
I go on a night mission.
19
00:00:56,559 --> 00:00:59,560
- I don't work the day shift or the night shift.
- Ha!
20
00:00:59,603 --> 00:01:01,364
I work the always shift.
21
00:01:01,408 --> 00:01:02,466
Ha!
22
00:01:02,499 --> 00:01:04,278
Because I'm a hero.
23
00:01:04,310 --> 00:01:06,911
One day,
at the scene of the fire
24
00:01:06,947 --> 00:01:09,505
the cop found the perfect axe.
25
00:01:09,532 --> 00:01:13,442
That was the day
he became... Axe Cop!
26
00:01:15,183 --> 00:01:17,919
So he had tryouts
and hired a partner.
27
00:01:21,196 --> 00:01:23,911
I will chop your heads off!
28
00:01:24,004 --> 00:01:26,738
Axe Cop
01x08 - Super Axe
29
00:01:31,071 --> 00:01:33,513
Axe, it's 8:35.
30
00:01:33,543 --> 00:01:35,770
Yeah, you're usually
here by 8:30.
31
00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:37,474
What, are you working
banking hours now?
32
00:01:37,484 --> 00:01:38,525
Heh heh, nailed it.
33
00:01:38,558 --> 00:01:40,791
No.
I was on a night mission.
34
00:01:40,814 --> 00:01:42,572
So what bad guy did
you kill last night?
35
00:01:42,599 --> 00:01:44,967
Actually I killed two bad guys.
36
00:01:45,001 --> 00:01:47,837
They were 7th graders.
Unfortunately their mom...
37
00:01:47,917 --> 00:01:50,141
the evil red-headed woman...
got away.
38
00:01:50,203 --> 00:01:52,375
Oh yeah? They don't-they don't
sound too bad. What'd they do?
39
00:01:52,407 --> 00:01:54,773
They stole the president's
good guy machine
40
00:01:54,797 --> 00:01:56,930
and turned it
into a bad guy machine.
41
00:01:56,965 --> 00:01:58,765
Oh! That actually
sounds pretty bad.
42
00:01:58,940 --> 00:02:02,343
Sockarang, lock the bad guy
machine in the unbreakable vault.
43
00:02:03,846 --> 00:02:05,246
Yellow, Flute Cop here.
44
00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:09,215
Oh, Axe Cop! It's the United States'
President and he wants to talk to you.
45
00:02:09,324 --> 00:02:11,404
What do you want?
46
00:02:12,597 --> 00:02:14,864
- Okay.
- What did the president say?
47
00:02:14,849 --> 00:02:17,451
He thanked me for getting
his bad guy machine back
48
00:02:17,500 --> 00:02:20,608
and is declaring tomorrow
National Axe Cop Day.
49
00:02:20,639 --> 00:02:22,233
Does that mean we
get tomorrow off?
50
00:02:22,262 --> 00:02:24,827
Hey, bros, let's all take
a vacation together.
51
00:02:24,870 --> 00:02:26,384
I hate vacations.
52
00:02:26,437 --> 00:02:28,142
Have fun, Axe Cop.
53
00:02:28,175 --> 00:02:30,095
You need a break
more than any of us.
54
00:02:30,118 --> 00:02:32,283
- Not gonna happen.
- What if I told you
55
00:02:32,318 --> 00:02:35,480
I happen to have this
cake coupon right here.
56
00:02:35,517 --> 00:02:37,910
It's good at any beach resort
in the whole world.
57
00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:40,418
Yeah, you could think of it
as a va-cake-tion.
58
00:02:40,442 --> 00:02:43,152
Hmm.
A cake vacation?
59
00:02:43,182 --> 00:02:45,850
Flute Cop,
we'll use your miles.
60
00:02:48,530 --> 00:02:50,063
I'll have an apple juice,
no ice.
61
00:02:50,144 --> 00:02:52,150
Do you have
chocolate milk?
62
00:02:52,337 --> 00:02:53,939
Whoop, this is me.
63
00:02:56,359 --> 00:02:58,031
Just give me my keys.
64
00:02:58,069 --> 00:03:00,229
I'm sorry, your room
won't be ready until 4:00.
65
00:03:00,260 --> 00:03:03,190
What am I supposed
to do for two hours?
66
00:03:10,534 --> 00:03:12,840
Front desk. How can I assist you?
67
00:03:12,872 --> 00:03:16,271
I need 30 TV sets and 30 VCRs
brought to my room
68
00:03:16,316 --> 00:03:18,638
so I can watch movies
I made of me fighting.
69
00:03:19,271 --> 00:03:21,517
I like to study all my moves.
70
00:03:21,544 --> 00:03:23,867
I'm also gonna need
a birthday cake.
71
00:03:23,900 --> 00:03:25,438
I have a coupon.
72
00:03:25,454 --> 00:03:26,930
Mm mm.
73
00:03:26,946 --> 00:03:28,312
Mmm?
74
00:03:31,031 --> 00:03:33,238
You have got to be kidding me!
75
00:03:33,269 --> 00:03:36,910
Gah! Who makes these
machines, bad guys?
76
00:03:36,926 --> 00:03:39,644
- Axe Cop, is that you?
- Super Axe?
77
00:03:39,668 --> 00:03:42,839
Man! I haven't seen you
since fighting college.
78
00:03:42,871 --> 00:03:45,725
If I'm not mistaken,
that was exactly 10 years ago.
79
00:03:45,761 --> 00:03:48,764
Don't you know it.
But nothing has changed.
80
00:03:48,819 --> 00:03:50,272
I'm exactly the same.
81
00:03:50,298 --> 00:03:53,460
Oh, we used to tear
it up back then.
82
00:03:53,501 --> 00:03:55,804
All-night battles, chop-a-thons.
83
00:03:55,835 --> 00:03:58,475
- Remember the punching finals?
- How can I forget?
84
00:03:58,498 --> 00:04:01,038
"A kick is a punch from a foot!"
85
00:04:03,225 --> 00:04:04,402
Man!
86
00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:06,551
So what brings you to Hawaii?
87
00:04:06,589 --> 00:04:08,847
My team and I
are on va-cake-tion.
88
00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:11,031
- That sounds fun.
- What about you?
89
00:04:11,056 --> 00:04:13,289
I'm here celebrating
my anniversary.
90
00:04:13,321 --> 00:04:16,272
You've chopped
10 million heads already!?
91
00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:18,858
- Congratulations!
- Oh no no no no.
92
00:04:18,890 --> 00:04:21,061
I haven't chopped
a head in ages.
93
00:04:21,093 --> 00:04:23,516
- It's my wedding anniversary.
- Ha!
94
00:04:23,540 --> 00:04:26,086
You always were super funny,
Super Axe.
95
00:04:26,110 --> 00:04:27,586
I'm serious.
96
00:04:27,610 --> 00:04:30,392
But, you should be out
killing bad guys.
97
00:04:30,411 --> 00:04:32,415
- You're a hero.
- Not anymore I'm not.
98
00:04:32,446 --> 00:04:35,298
Now I'm a husband.
Ooh! Speaking of which,
99
00:04:35,321 --> 00:04:38,509
the wife and I have this couples spa
treatment right about now, so...
100
00:04:38,531 --> 00:04:40,732
I gotta run.
See ya later!
101
00:04:41,468 --> 00:04:44,101
I remember that.
102
00:04:44,139 --> 00:04:45,666
That's a good move.
103
00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:50,760
- What the heck?
- Hello, Axe Cop!
104
00:04:50,785 --> 00:04:52,783
- Remember me?
- Of course I do.
105
00:04:52,823 --> 00:04:54,490
You're the evil
red-headed woman.
106
00:04:54,876 --> 00:04:56,915
I killed your children
because they were evil.
107
00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:58,666
Are you enjoying your vacation?
108
00:04:58,677 --> 00:05:01,048
- Now I'm not.
- Oh that's a shame,
109
00:05:01,076 --> 00:05:02,220
because I am.
110
00:05:02,251 --> 00:05:05,435
I spent Bational Axe Cop Day
stealing back my bad guy machine!
111
00:05:05,602 --> 00:05:08,290
But it was locked
in my unbreakable vault!
112
00:05:08,329 --> 00:05:10,464
A mother with a broken heart
can break
113
00:05:10,571 --> 00:05:12,974
any unbreakable vault.
114
00:05:13,001 --> 00:05:15,474
And now that I have
my bad guy machine,
115
00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:17,033
I'm gonna go back in time
116
00:05:17,051 --> 00:05:19,372
and I'm going to turn
everyone evil.
117
00:05:19,396 --> 00:05:25,849
And that... includes... you!
118
00:05:25,884 --> 00:05:30,588
I miss... my... sons.
119
00:05:32,810 --> 00:05:35,055
We need to go
on an important mission!
120
00:05:35,088 --> 00:05:38,648
Axe Cop! I knew you wanted
to come down to the beach!
121
00:05:38,684 --> 00:05:40,417
Hey, have you ever
had coconut water?
122
00:05:40,461 --> 00:05:42,703
It's the water inside a coconut
123
00:05:42,734 --> 00:05:44,456
and you drink it!
124
00:05:45,159 --> 00:05:47,711
That's too much potassium.
125
00:05:47,738 --> 00:05:50,436
- Now let's go!
- Hey, c'mon, Axe Cop.
126
00:05:50,465 --> 00:05:52,312
I though we were
on va-cake-tion.
127
00:05:52,348 --> 00:05:54,717
Fine.
You guys stay here.
128
00:05:54,758 --> 00:05:58,314
I know a real hero
that can help save the world.
129
00:05:58,353 --> 00:05:59,720
Super Axe!
130
00:05:59,761 --> 00:06:01,275
Oh hey, Axe Cop!
131
00:06:01,331 --> 00:06:04,133
Tracy, this is my old college buddy
I was telling you about.
132
00:06:04,167 --> 00:06:07,468
Hey, Axe Cop!
I've heard so much about you.
133
00:06:07,504 --> 00:06:09,586
Pull up a chair and join us.
134
00:06:09,621 --> 00:06:12,635
No time. Super axe and I
are going back in time
135
00:06:12,667 --> 00:06:15,287
to the year 0000
136
00:06:15,329 --> 00:06:18,627
to stop the red-headed woman
from turning everyone evil.
137
00:06:18,681 --> 00:06:20,541
Sorry, Axe Cop, but...
138
00:06:20,563 --> 00:06:23,107
we do not want to miss
the luau tonight.
139
00:06:23,278 --> 00:06:25,569
Whoa, buddy! What are you doing?
There's kids around.
140
00:06:25,598 --> 00:06:28,000
Don't worry.
It's a time-portal gun.
141
00:06:30,330 --> 00:06:33,189
Oh, I forgot to put on sunblock.
Grey Diamond, am I red?
142
00:06:33,213 --> 00:06:34,580
Oh, you're getting cooked.
143
00:06:35,493 --> 00:06:36,469
This is weird,
144
00:06:37,046 --> 00:06:39,117
the beginning of time
should be teeming
145
00:06:39,158 --> 00:06:41,696
- with talking good animals.
- Weird?
146
00:06:41,737 --> 00:06:44,508
What's weird is you
can't take a hint, Axe Cop.
147
00:06:44,547 --> 00:06:46,852
I'm not a hero anymore.
148
00:06:46,886 --> 00:06:48,344
Of course you are.
149
00:06:48,378 --> 00:06:51,305
Don't you remember what
Professor Teevil taught us?
150
00:06:51,337 --> 00:06:53,811
Once a hero, always a hero.
151
00:06:53,842 --> 00:06:56,623
But I traded my axe
for a wedding ring!
152
00:06:56,654 --> 00:06:58,721
Don't you remember
what else he taught us?
153
00:06:58,756 --> 00:07:02,180
Always carry a spare axe.
154
00:07:02,436 --> 00:07:03,883
Ugh, fine.
155
00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:05,767
Psst, Axe Cop.
Over here!
156
00:07:05,795 --> 00:07:07,493
Talking frog?
157
00:07:07,525 --> 00:07:10,157
Where are all your good
brothers and sisters?
158
00:07:10,169 --> 00:07:11,703
The red-headed woman
captured them.
159
00:07:11,736 --> 00:07:13,504
She turned them all evil!
160
00:07:14,012 --> 00:07:15,989
I alone have escaped
to tell you.
161
00:07:16,035 --> 00:07:18,660
- Where is she now?
- She's up there,
162
00:07:18,707 --> 00:07:20,746
at the center of all time.
I'll take you.
163
00:07:20,988 --> 00:07:22,429
All right, let's go.
164
00:07:22,464 --> 00:07:24,453
Boy, I'm glad you guys
got here when you did.
165
00:07:24,491 --> 00:07:26,023
The only reason
I survived this long
166
00:07:26,056 --> 00:07:27,281
is because I buried myself
167
00:07:27,307 --> 00:07:28,999
in the dead carcass
of my brother.
168
00:07:29,033 --> 00:07:30,176
But now that you're here,
169
00:07:30,205 --> 00:07:31,562
I know I'm safe...
170
00:07:31,605 --> 00:07:33,461
Oh no, an evil Griffin!
171
00:07:34,805 --> 00:07:37,142
Axe Cop!
172
00:07:37,681 --> 00:07:39,995
Once I put this good frog
173
00:07:40,023 --> 00:07:41,565
through the bad guy machine,
174
00:07:41,588 --> 00:07:45,300
everyone throughout time
will be turned evil
175
00:07:45,333 --> 00:07:46,714
forever!
176
00:07:46,746 --> 00:07:49,136
Stop right there,
evil red-headed woman!
177
00:07:49,162 --> 00:07:52,651
You're too late, Axe Cop.
178
00:07:52,683 --> 00:07:54,167
Help me, Axe Cop!
179
00:07:55,386 --> 00:07:59,800
Everyone throughout time
is now evil.
180
00:07:59,838 --> 00:08:02,153
Who wants to fight?
181
00:08:02,193 --> 00:08:04,513
- I do!
- No!
182
00:08:04,537 --> 00:08:07,153
- We do.
- Evil animals...
183
00:08:07,184 --> 00:08:09,309
attack!
184
00:08:20,368 --> 00:08:21,500
Ha!
185
00:08:26,033 --> 00:08:28,797
What are we gonna do, Axe Cop?
We can't stop her.
186
00:08:28,837 --> 00:08:30,828
- She's riding a
gorilla riding a lion.
187
00:08:30,868 --> 00:08:33,598
- Remember our senior thesis
188
00:08:33,644 --> 00:08:35,289
from fighting college?
189
00:08:35,308 --> 00:08:36,875
You mean when you put
two axes together
190
00:08:36,906 --> 00:08:39,055
it forms a super
blue diamond axe?
191
00:08:39,089 --> 00:08:40,609
But that was just a theory!
192
00:08:40,643 --> 00:08:42,351
Now!
193
00:08:46,966 --> 00:08:48,958
Bye-bye, red-headed woman.
194
00:08:48,997 --> 00:08:51,273
Don't you mean
dead-headed woman?
195
00:08:53,260 --> 00:08:54,094
Man!
196
00:08:54,127 --> 00:08:58,259
- I knew you still had it in you.
- This was actually pretty fun.
197
00:08:58,296 --> 00:08:59,913
I can't wait to tell Tracy
198
00:08:59,953 --> 00:09:02,869
that her husband still has
a little hero left in him.
199
00:09:02,898 --> 00:09:05,611
- You can't tell Tracy.
- What do you mean, Axe Cop?
200
00:09:05,631 --> 00:09:08,103
We've killed everyone
at the beginning of time.
201
00:09:08,133 --> 00:09:10,369
Tracy doesn't exist anymore.
202
00:09:10,407 --> 00:09:11,291
What?!
203
00:09:11,962 --> 00:09:12,977
Oh no.
204
00:09:13,532 --> 00:09:15,728
- This is terrible.
- I know, but don't worry,
205
00:09:15,791 --> 00:09:19,259
we can find more bad guys
to kill on other planets.
206
00:09:19,300 --> 00:09:21,056
Have you ever killed an alien?
207
00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:22,978
It's different, but still fun.
208
00:09:23,047 --> 00:09:24,783
I can't believe it.
209
00:09:29,473 --> 00:09:32,610
I thought you were a hero,
Super Axe.
210
00:09:35,755 --> 00:09:37,889
Super Axe, what's going on?
211
00:09:37,914 --> 00:09:40,082
- Tracy!
- Axe Cop showed up
212
00:09:40,109 --> 00:09:41,876
right before the
pork was coming out
213
00:09:41,908 --> 00:09:43,821
and transported me here?
214
00:09:43,843 --> 00:09:45,225
He said something about
215
00:09:45,256 --> 00:09:47,483
me and you living at
the center of time
216
00:09:47,517 --> 00:09:49,373
and rebuilding the world.
217
00:09:49,390 --> 00:09:52,524
God, you were right,
he is crazy.
218
00:09:52,553 --> 00:09:54,727
He's not crazy.
219
00:09:54,751 --> 00:09:57,019
He's... a hero.
220
00:10:00,277 --> 00:10:02,918
Some people
have other things to do.
221
00:10:03,150 --> 00:10:05,464
- Not me.
- Hey, honey, I'm home.
222
00:10:05,499 --> 00:10:06,966
Some people have families.
223
00:10:06,991 --> 00:10:08,375
Not me.
224
00:10:08,398 --> 00:10:09,929
- Yah!
- Some people even have friends.
225
00:10:09,958 --> 00:10:10,953
- Take that!
- Yeah!
226
00:10:10,974 --> 00:10:12,453
- Not me.
- Boom.
227
00:10:12,927 --> 00:10:15,085
- Hyah!
- My name is Axe Cop.
228
00:10:15,430 --> 00:10:18,203
I don't work the day shiftor the night shift.
229
00:10:18,249 --> 00:10:20,093
I work the always shift.
230
00:10:20,131 --> 00:10:22,281
- Hah!
- Because I'm a hero.
231
00:10:22,602 --> 00:10:25,004
And everyone else isn't.
232
00:10:25,367 --> 00:10:28,883
Sync & corr by blue150683
for addic7ed.com
17306
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