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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:01:11,972 --> 00:01:18,010 ♪ "L" is for the way you look at me ♪ 4 00:01:18,044 --> 00:01:23,717 ♪ "O" is for the only one I see ♪ 5 00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:27,888 ♪ "V" is very, very 6 00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:30,489 ♪ Extraordinary 7 00:01:30,522 --> 00:01:34,895 ♪ "E" is even more than anyone ♪ 8 00:01:34,927 --> 00:01:38,064 ♪ That you adore can love 9 00:01:38,097 --> 00:01:42,335 ♪ Is all that I can give to you ♪ 10 00:01:42,369 --> 00:01:48,842 ♪ Love is more than just a game for two ♪ 11 00:01:48,875 --> 00:01:53,246 ♪ Two in love can make it 12 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,815 ♪ Take my heart and, please, don't break it ♪ 13 00:01:55,848 --> 00:02:01,420 ♪ Love was made for me and you 14 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:29,850 ♪ "L" is for the way 15 00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:33,185 ♪ You look at me 16 00:02:33,219 --> 00:02:36,256 ♪ "O" is for the only 17 00:02:36,289 --> 00:02:39,125 ♪ One I see 18 00:02:39,158 --> 00:02:42,995 ♪ "V" is very, very 19 00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:45,532 ♪ Extraordinary 20 00:02:45,564 --> 00:02:50,236 ♪ "E" is even more than anyone that you adore ♪ 21 00:02:50,270 --> 00:02:52,806 [ Bottle Pops ] ♪ Can love 22 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:57,209 ♪ Is all that I can give to you ♪ 23 00:02:57,244 --> 00:02:59,979 Waiter! Waiter! 24 00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:02,481 ♪ Love is more than just a game for two ♪ 25 00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:06,986 - ♪ Two in love can make it - Spit it out. Cough. Come on! 26 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,989 ♪ Take my heart and, please, don't break it ♪ 27 00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:14,994 ♪ Love was made for me and you ♪ 28 00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:21,935 ♪ Love was made for me and you 29 00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:23,937 ♪ Love was made 30 00:03:23,971 --> 00:03:26,806 Oh! ♪ For me and you 31 00:03:37,417 --> 00:03:41,553 I had this vision of you in stomach surgery... 32 00:03:41,588 --> 00:03:44,457 on what should have been the happiest night of your life. 33 00:03:44,491 --> 00:03:47,860 It is. Good. 34 00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:51,063 Because... I booked a church. 35 00:03:52,032 --> 00:03:53,799 You did? 36 00:03:53,833 --> 00:03:58,370 Don't worry. It's beautiful. It's next to my parents' house. We'll have the reception there. 37 00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:02,409 We'll put your family up at the local inn. The next morning... off to Maui. 38 00:04:02,442 --> 00:04:08,247 Listen, is it really very important to you to have an actual... wedding? 39 00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:12,985 I thought it would be romantic if we just kind of ran away. 40 00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:15,022 Forgot the whole production. 41 00:04:15,054 --> 00:04:18,657 Molly, what is this? 42 00:04:18,690 --> 00:04:21,260 All right. 43 00:04:21,293 --> 00:04:26,265 You know how some people's parents hate each other? Like yours. 44 00:04:26,298 --> 00:04:28,600 But it's very civilized, and they stay together. 45 00:04:28,635 --> 00:04:31,939 They smile, and they keep up appearances. 46 00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:36,242 Well, my parents hate each other with a nuclear capability, Keith. 47 00:04:36,275 --> 00:04:39,579 They haven't seen or spoken to each other in 14 years. 48 00:04:39,611 --> 00:04:42,015 I can't have a wedding and not invite one of them. 49 00:04:42,049 --> 00:04:45,885 If they're both there, something could happen. Like what? 50 00:04:45,885 --> 00:04:49,222 I don't know. A homicide. 51 00:04:49,256 --> 00:04:52,459 Molly, this is your wedding. What makes you think that your mother... 52 00:04:52,491 --> 00:04:56,662 is gonna make a scene at the most inappropriate of all places? 53 00:04:56,696 --> 00:04:58,931 She is an actress. 54 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:03,436 Come on, Mother. Please. Don't do this Garbo thing. 55 00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:06,372 Nobody recognizes you. That's what you think. 56 00:05:06,406 --> 00:05:09,675 The cockroach has been following me for three blocks. Who's the cockroach? 57 00:05:09,709 --> 00:05:14,046 That greasy little paparazzi. The one that took the fat picture of me. 58 00:05:14,081 --> 00:05:15,949 Don't turn around! 59 00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:18,551 I thought you got an injunction. I couldn't. 60 00:05:18,585 --> 00:05:24,024 Some First Amendment garbage or something. Come on. Duck in here. 61 00:05:24,756 --> 00:05:28,428 God. How does he do it? 62 00:05:28,461 --> 00:05:32,199 He's like some missing link Sherlock Holmes. 63 00:05:32,231 --> 00:05:38,038 The one time in my life I blimped out, there he was, clicking away in my face. 64 00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:40,974 People still think I'm obese! No one thinks you're obese. 65 00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:44,011 He's the reason I lost that role in Little Women. [ Shutter Clicking ] 66 00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:47,514 - [ Screams ] - Nice! Right into eight million shopping carts. 67 00:05:47,547 --> 00:05:50,249 Sewer rat! Make love to the camera. 68 00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:53,052 Damn you! Not from the left! Hey! 69 00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:55,288 Lawsuit! Lawsuit! Never from the left! 70 00:05:55,322 --> 00:05:58,590 My face is too round from the left. I look like a wheel of Brie. 71 00:05:58,624 --> 00:06:01,428 Oh, my God! Security! Give me some teeth. 72 00:06:01,461 --> 00:06:04,031 Help! I'm being assaulted! Sir, come with me, please. 73 00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:06,398 I-I'm just shopping. You're out of here! 74 00:06:06,432 --> 00:06:09,469 Those are nice panties. I want to get those for my girlfriend. 75 00:06:09,502 --> 00:06:12,705 [ Sighs ] Such a creep! 76 00:06:12,738 --> 00:06:16,509 [ Sighs ] Oh, God. I hope they throw the book at him. 77 00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:19,579 Look. A little wedding night thrill. How about that? 78 00:06:19,612 --> 00:06:23,150 I am not going to wear this. He'll think I'm gonna charge him. 79 00:06:23,183 --> 00:06:26,119 Keith will love it. Or hasn't he seen them yet? 80 00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:31,158 Mother, could you be normal for one minute, please? Normal? Normal? 81 00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:33,760 I'm normal. [ Molly Sighs ] 82 00:06:33,792 --> 00:06:38,098 Oh, all right. You want to have a real talk? Well, yes. 83 00:06:38,131 --> 00:06:43,435 That would be nice. Okay, honey, are you sure you want to marry this guy? 84 00:06:43,469 --> 00:06:46,005 Don't start. You're so young. 85 00:06:46,005 --> 00:06:48,708 Don't you know what your 20s are for? 86 00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:52,079 They're for having sex with all the wrong people. 87 00:06:52,111 --> 00:06:54,646 They're not for getting married. I mean, really. 88 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:59,051 You got married. I know, and I wish I'd been around a little more. 89 00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:03,623 If I had, I would have seen your father for what he was. He's going to be there. 90 00:07:03,655 --> 00:07:07,493 Huh? He's gonna be at the wedding. 91 00:07:07,527 --> 00:07:11,163 How about this one? 92 00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:16,302 Mom, I know you heard me. Of course, I did. I understand perfectly. 93 00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:21,507 He is your father, although once I told him he wasn't just to torture him. 94 00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:24,811 Look at me. 95 00:07:24,843 --> 00:07:28,148 I want you to swear that you will behave. 96 00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:32,085 Molly, don't I always? 97 00:07:49,735 --> 00:07:51,771 Why are you doing this here? 98 00:07:51,803 --> 00:07:55,841 Natural light. I need to know what I'm really going to look like, 99 00:07:55,875 --> 00:07:59,211 not what I'm kidding myself that I look like. 100 00:07:59,245 --> 00:08:02,149 Let's talk about this. Can we, please? 101 00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:05,351 Is this about Dan? No, it's about that slut Rowena. 102 00:08:05,385 --> 00:08:10,890 Lillian, is she worth the maintenance on all this hatred? I don't see this. 103 00:08:10,922 --> 00:08:14,461 Alan, she took my husband away from me. I have to look like a goddess. 104 00:08:14,493 --> 00:08:16,663 I know it all turned out for the best. 105 00:08:16,696 --> 00:08:19,299 I hope she looks 1,000. 106 00:08:19,331 --> 00:08:22,602 I hope she's getting those little lines above her lips. 107 00:08:22,635 --> 00:08:26,873 She always had that fabulous tan. I hope she's a fucking raisin. 108 00:08:26,905 --> 00:08:30,810 Hmph! What? 109 00:08:30,842 --> 00:08:35,648 I'm just wondering whether you're being totally honest with yourself. 110 00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:38,718 Alan, I'm not neurotic. I'm just a bitch. 111 00:08:38,751 --> 00:08:42,722 I want my ex-rival to have aged badly. What could be more normal than that? 112 00:08:42,755 --> 00:08:46,125 I hope she looks like one of those Chinese dogs, the ones with the folds. 113 00:08:46,125 --> 00:08:49,729 The ones that look like they're melting. That would be great. 114 00:08:51,498 --> 00:08:54,400 Dan, we are seriously late. 115 00:08:54,434 --> 00:08:58,871 Rowena, I'm in the wedding. They can't start without me. Just give me ten seconds. 116 00:08:58,904 --> 00:09:02,608 What is it? It's this tuxedo. It's geriatric. 117 00:09:02,642 --> 00:09:06,578 I don't like the tie. I hate the shoes. It's about your hair. 118 00:09:06,612 --> 00:09:11,783 Look at it. Why did I let you talk me into this? I should have gone bald. 119 00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:15,354 Don't be an idiot. Dr. Goldbine did a great job. 120 00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:19,692 No, no, no. It's too much. It's gigolo hair. He's the best. 121 00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:22,594 Nobody can tell I got my lips done. 122 00:09:22,628 --> 00:09:26,465 - You don't know Lilly. - What about Lilly? 123 00:09:26,498 --> 00:09:30,337 She has X-ray vision for people with cosmetic improvements. 124 00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:33,373 She should talk. Have you seen that picture of her? 125 00:09:34,906 --> 00:09:36,443 What picture? 126 00:09:36,475 --> 00:09:41,748 She's as big as a house. You couldn't tell which one was her original chin. 127 00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:45,484 - She's fat? - Mm-hmm. Let's go. 128 00:09:45,517 --> 00:09:49,689 How fat? Fat-fat? She was wearing a pup tent. 129 00:09:49,721 --> 00:09:51,990 It was really very sad. 130 00:09:52,024 --> 00:09:54,427 It was circus fat? Mm-hmm. 131 00:09:54,460 --> 00:09:56,862 Two-plane-seats fat? Yes, Dan. 132 00:09:56,895 --> 00:09:59,731 ♪ [ Organ ] 133 00:10:14,646 --> 00:10:17,349 [ Whispering ] Oh, my God! She's had everything done. 134 00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:20,652 They've taken some of her nose and injected it into her lips. 135 00:10:20,686 --> 00:10:23,689 ♪ [ Organ: Wedding Processional ] 136 00:10:26,525 --> 00:10:28,627 ♪ [ Organ Continues ] 137 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:36,836 Are you nervous, Molly? No, I'm not. 138 00:10:36,869 --> 00:10:42,608 You should be nervous. I would be nervous. If you say one more thing-- 139 00:10:42,641 --> 00:10:45,745 Don't worry. I shall forever hold my peace. 140 00:10:45,778 --> 00:10:49,681 You'd better. You're no fun. 141 00:10:49,716 --> 00:10:54,353 You know, I think somebody should object. Liven this morgue up. 142 00:10:54,386 --> 00:10:58,658 Daddy, stop it. You're scaring me. Don't scare me. I might throw up. 143 00:10:58,690 --> 00:11:03,296 No, you won't. Not until you see the outfit your mother is wearing. 144 00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:05,832 Holy cow. She looks like she's a toreador. 145 00:11:05,865 --> 00:11:07,800 Don't look at her. You'll set her off. Sit. 146 00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:09,936 ♪ [ Organ Continues ] 147 00:11:26,919 --> 00:11:29,489 I thought you said she was fat. 148 00:11:29,521 --> 00:11:33,826 So she had her jaw wired or her stomach stapled. I don't know. 149 00:11:42,734 --> 00:11:45,838 Dearly beloved, we are gathered here... 150 00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:50,609 to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony. 151 00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:55,047 ♪ [ Orchestra ] 152 00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:58,083 [ Man ] Congratulations. 153 00:11:58,117 --> 00:12:01,554 Molly, good to see you. Congratulations. 154 00:12:01,587 --> 00:12:04,756 Keith, good to see you. Congratulations. 155 00:12:04,790 --> 00:12:07,360 Oh, where are they? 156 00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:10,529 Relax. They're miles apart. 157 00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:14,000 I'm so glad you liked that one. That's my favorite too. 158 00:12:14,032 --> 00:12:16,436 Oh, aren't you sweet? 159 00:12:16,468 --> 00:12:20,039 Why is it in all your books you're always killing off actresses? 160 00:12:20,071 --> 00:12:23,742 I'm just acting on an impulse most of us have. Champagne, sir? 161 00:12:23,775 --> 00:12:27,646 Thanks, Mitch. Oh! Look at you! You look fabulous! 162 00:12:27,679 --> 00:12:31,451 What a beautiful wedding. A little long. Ha, ha. 163 00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:33,520 I'm her Aunt Iris. Ah. 164 00:12:33,553 --> 00:12:37,023 You gonna win your election? I certainly hope so. 165 00:12:37,056 --> 00:12:40,592 He's ahead in the polls. You know, her hair's wrong. 166 00:12:40,627 --> 00:12:45,898 You can't be a congressman's wife unless you get that helmet thing going. 167 00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:49,635 Okay, Aunt Iris. Anyhoo, I need a drink. 168 00:12:49,668 --> 00:12:52,170 Waiter! Get over here! Not you, the young one. 169 00:12:52,204 --> 00:12:56,074 [ Tapping ] Who's that? 170 00:13:01,146 --> 00:13:04,050 That's my grandmother. 171 00:13:09,989 --> 00:13:12,157 Thank you. 172 00:13:12,191 --> 00:13:15,727 Mmm! Even more beautiful in person. 173 00:13:15,762 --> 00:13:19,798 Who the f-- Mother, you remember Senator Marks, Keith's father? 174 00:13:19,831 --> 00:13:22,634 Oh. Right. 175 00:13:22,669 --> 00:13:25,472 Keith tells me you've graciously agreed to perform... 176 00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:27,639 at one of my little fund-raisers. 177 00:13:27,674 --> 00:13:30,809 A Republican fund-raiser? Of course! 178 00:13:30,842 --> 00:13:33,513 [ Laughs ] [ Laughing ] 179 00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:35,647 Darling, I-- We'll talk about it later. 180 00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:37,617 I need food. 181 00:13:37,649 --> 00:13:41,787 ♪ [ Orchestra Continues ] 182 00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:43,789 Lilly, wait. 183 00:13:43,822 --> 00:13:46,425 Congratulations! You look so much better. 184 00:13:46,425 --> 00:13:51,096 I find any attempt you make to talk to me in the worst possible taste. 185 00:13:51,130 --> 00:13:54,099 Oh, Lilly. It's been so many years. 186 00:13:54,133 --> 00:13:58,838 So why bring it up? Because I really behaved badly. 187 00:13:58,870 --> 00:14:00,907 Oh, Rowena, you were impeccable. 188 00:14:00,940 --> 00:14:04,043 I particularly enjoyed finding your hair on my pillow. 189 00:14:04,075 --> 00:14:06,178 That was a classy touch. 190 00:14:06,211 --> 00:14:11,050 I didn't plan that. It was just spontaneous combustion. 191 00:14:11,082 --> 00:14:15,488 Rowena, did they suck out your brain cells along with your fat? 192 00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:21,693 I don't think my fat has ever been an issue, Lilly. 193 00:14:29,636 --> 00:14:33,973 Well, Dan, here we are at a wedding. 194 00:14:34,006 --> 00:14:36,808 Perfect place for growth, for healing. 195 00:14:36,842 --> 00:14:38,810 And just think, you and me, two people-- 196 00:14:38,844 --> 00:14:42,081 Shut up, or I'll kill you. Huh. 197 00:14:42,114 --> 00:14:45,685 [ Shutter Clicking ] Hey. 198 00:14:45,717 --> 00:14:49,088 You know the bride's mother, the one with the big-- 199 00:14:49,121 --> 00:14:54,526 I want you to shoot her only from the left. 200 00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:56,928 No problem. 201 00:15:03,670 --> 00:15:05,672 Who let you in here? 202 00:15:05,704 --> 00:15:08,675 How ya doin'? No, no, no! Not today! 203 00:15:08,707 --> 00:15:10,677 Why not today? You look radiant. 204 00:15:10,709 --> 00:15:14,212 Get out! I mean it. Get out! Don't be shy. 205 00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:17,016 Stop. Just stop. Tilt your head to the left. 206 00:15:17,049 --> 00:15:19,951 Look at that nuptial blush. How dare you? 207 00:15:19,985 --> 00:15:21,820 I gotta pay rent too. 208 00:15:21,853 --> 00:15:24,190 Don't you live in a van? Sanford! You're funny. 209 00:15:24,223 --> 00:15:28,127 Maybe we could do something with the whole family. Sanford! Gordon! 210 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:31,262 Pout. Gordon, please. This is an uninvited guest. 211 00:15:31,297 --> 00:15:34,667 Don't touch the camera! Hey, Malibu Ken! 212 00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:37,103 That's good. Stand with your wife. Nice shot. 213 00:15:37,136 --> 00:15:41,674 Hey, let go of me! Tough guys, huh? You look like Easter eggs! 214 00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:44,644 What was that about? How did he get in here? 215 00:15:44,677 --> 00:15:46,545 I hired him. What? 216 00:15:46,545 --> 00:15:50,215 His portfolio was great. 217 00:15:50,249 --> 00:15:52,752 He shoots all the stars. 218 00:15:52,784 --> 00:15:54,887 What people really want in a marriage-- 219 00:15:54,921 --> 00:15:58,256 We want what I call emotional valet parking. 220 00:15:58,290 --> 00:16:02,828 We deserve it, but in order to get it, you have to be validated. 221 00:16:02,862 --> 00:16:05,131 Have a wonderful day. 222 00:16:05,164 --> 00:16:07,600 Lovely. Bye-bye. 223 00:16:20,179 --> 00:16:22,081 Congratulations. 224 00:16:22,114 --> 00:16:26,719 Our daughter looks beautiful. Thank you. 225 00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:28,855 So how are you? 226 00:16:28,887 --> 00:16:31,758 Fabulous. How are you? 227 00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:35,161 Never better. Good. 228 00:16:35,194 --> 00:16:37,395 I'm glad you can be civil. 229 00:16:37,428 --> 00:16:40,700 This is not the time nor the place for anything else, is it? 230 00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:43,169 For once, we agree. 231 00:16:46,605 --> 00:16:50,677 What are you doing in Armani? Knock over a truck? 232 00:16:50,709 --> 00:16:54,279 [ Laughs ] It's called prosperity. Really? 233 00:16:54,313 --> 00:16:57,282 Yes, Keep Under The Grass went into its third printing. 234 00:16:57,315 --> 00:17:01,319 Oh? What's that? One of my books. 235 00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:06,225 Oh, I wouldn't know. I've been out of the country. 236 00:17:06,257 --> 00:17:10,296 Tax problems? Shooting a film. 237 00:17:10,328 --> 00:17:13,031 Do you still do that? 238 00:17:13,064 --> 00:17:17,804 You know perfectly well I still do that. 239 00:17:22,941 --> 00:17:24,943 You've got more hair. I don't think so. 240 00:17:24,976 --> 00:17:27,413 What is it? Plugs? A rug? No. No. Look. 241 00:17:27,445 --> 00:17:29,348 Let's not do this, okay? Please. 242 00:17:29,380 --> 00:17:32,218 I'm just curious. Rogaine? Hair Club for Men? 243 00:17:32,251 --> 00:17:35,020 I've laid off of your hair. My hair is perfect. 244 00:17:35,053 --> 00:17:39,258 Yes, it's perfect, if you want to look like a madame in a saloon in Tombstone. 245 00:17:39,291 --> 00:17:42,161 Oh! A metaphor. Aren't we literary? 246 00:17:42,194 --> 00:17:45,832 I can't believe that you are still threatened by people who write books. 247 00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:49,368 My husband writes books. He doesn't threaten me at all. 248 00:17:49,401 --> 00:17:52,739 You call that self-help psychobabble that he writes books? 249 00:17:52,771 --> 00:17:55,074 More people read them than those dime novels of yours. 250 00:17:55,106 --> 00:17:58,810 The Tao of Divorc ? Who is this guy tryin' to kid? 251 00:17:58,844 --> 00:18:01,847 That book has saved thousands of marriages. None of which was ours. 252 00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:04,717 Ours was beyond saving. I would say so, 253 00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:07,118 when the counselor's trying to put the make on my wife. 254 00:18:07,152 --> 00:18:09,154 That was long after you were off with Rowena, 255 00:18:09,188 --> 00:18:11,290 humping like a middle-aged mink. 256 00:18:11,322 --> 00:18:13,892 After we go in for a session, 257 00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:16,062 and the man who was supposed to save my marriage of 14 years... 258 00:18:16,094 --> 00:18:20,098 tells me he wants to interface to talk about his feelings. 259 00:18:20,131 --> 00:18:24,102 What a load. Because his feeling is that he can make my wife happier. 260 00:18:24,135 --> 00:18:26,137 And I'm paying the guy to hear this. Bullshit! 261 00:18:26,171 --> 00:18:28,039 You bounced the check! Wouldn't you? 262 00:18:28,073 --> 00:18:30,843 You are so pathetically jealous of Alan... 263 00:18:30,877 --> 00:18:32,979 just because he's a national phenomenon. 264 00:18:33,011 --> 00:18:35,013 At least I had the maturity not to marry a bauble. 265 00:18:35,046 --> 00:18:37,917 She is a top interior designer! Oh, come on! 266 00:18:37,949 --> 00:18:39,617 She made our apartment look like a Greek whorehouse! 267 00:18:39,650 --> 00:18:44,490 I would never have touched Rowena if you hadn't thrown yourself at Dr. Feelgood first! 268 00:18:44,522 --> 00:18:48,126 First ? I was never first! You were first, Lillian! 269 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:51,830 I was the faithful one! Faithful like a Kennedy is faithful! 270 00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:53,965 I was faithful, and, boy, am I sorry now. 271 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:57,103 Do you know who I could have slept with? 272 00:18:57,136 --> 00:19:01,439 I could have had the entire Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I turned down a Beatle for you! 273 00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:06,945 I remember Ringo being on a bender! Stop it! Stop now! 274 00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:10,817 He started it! Right now! 275 00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:13,218 No! She did! No! Look, look! 276 00:19:13,252 --> 00:19:16,989 If you can't do it, then go outside and cool it off. 277 00:19:17,022 --> 00:19:19,458 You're asking us to take it outside? We are outside! 278 00:19:19,490 --> 00:19:22,895 That's stunningly obvious. All right, move it! 279 00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:29,067 Well, now, these are people who are dialoguing. 280 00:19:29,100 --> 00:19:32,538 It's so important to dialogue and to language with each other. 281 00:19:32,570 --> 00:19:34,874 This is my wedding! 282 00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:37,810 Don't you dare ruin this for me! 283 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:41,981 You may not come back here 'til you can hold a civil conversation. 284 00:19:42,013 --> 00:19:46,785 All I can say is, I am glad that I'm marrying into Keith's family. 285 00:19:46,785 --> 00:19:51,089 [ Door Slams ] [ Sighs ] 286 00:19:51,123 --> 00:19:53,591 Look what you did! 287 00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:55,994 And you behaved yourself? You'd scare a piranha! 288 00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:58,030 I was totally and completely civil! 289 00:19:58,063 --> 00:20:00,532 You wrecked Molly's wedding! You wrecked it by showing up. 290 00:20:00,565 --> 00:20:03,535 I suppose you think you should have given her away. You have the balls for it. 291 00:20:03,568 --> 00:20:05,503 Aah! Aaah! 292 00:20:05,537 --> 00:20:08,340 You bastard! Let go of me! 293 00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:11,310 Why don't you whistle for your broomstick? Maybe it'll come and get ya. 294 00:20:11,343 --> 00:20:14,480 Let go! I know all about that right hook. 295 00:20:14,512 --> 00:20:17,282 Oh! Ah! Sutures! 296 00:20:17,316 --> 00:20:21,052 You had a scalp lift, you vain son of a bitch! 297 00:20:21,087 --> 00:20:23,956 You picked up a few pounds, huh, fatty? 298 00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:27,058 Put me down! Take your hands off me! 299 00:20:27,093 --> 00:20:30,561 Go ahead. Try something! Take your hands off me! 300 00:20:30,596 --> 00:20:34,333 So-- So-- So-- 301 00:20:36,502 --> 00:20:38,470 [ Moans ] 302 00:20:38,504 --> 00:20:41,540 It's sick. It's sick. It's really sick. 303 00:20:41,572 --> 00:20:44,010 We've got to stop. It's wrong. 304 00:20:46,845 --> 00:20:49,949 It's my worst nightmare. Stop. Stop. 305 00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:52,150 We've got to stop. You're right. 306 00:20:52,184 --> 00:20:55,453 Oh! [ Moans ] 307 00:20:55,486 --> 00:21:01,193 Keith, what was going on out there? Looked kind of heated. 308 00:21:01,227 --> 00:21:06,131 Theatrical people. They shout hello to each other. 309 00:21:08,066 --> 00:21:12,604 Boy, that cannot happen again. 310 00:21:12,637 --> 00:21:14,572 We're going to have to see them in shifts. 311 00:21:14,606 --> 00:21:18,410 We can't have them doing that in public. I'll get roasted by the press. 312 00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:20,479 I hope they kill each other. 313 00:21:20,512 --> 00:21:25,250 [ Both Moaning ] 314 00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:32,091 [ Lilly ] Are you all right? Oh, yeah! 315 00:21:32,123 --> 00:21:35,193 Yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh! 316 00:21:35,226 --> 00:21:38,530 Oh! Oh! 317 00:21:40,131 --> 00:21:43,535 ♪ [ Orchestra Continues ] 318 00:21:43,569 --> 00:21:46,405 ♪ 319 00:21:46,438 --> 00:21:52,278 [ Woman ] ♪ Call me irresponsible 320 00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:59,285 ♪ Call me unreliable 321 00:21:59,318 --> 00:22:04,389 ♪ Go on and throw in undependable ♪ 322 00:22:04,423 --> 00:22:07,293 ♪ Too 323 00:22:12,330 --> 00:22:16,634 ♪ Well, do my foolish alibis Come on. Admit it. 324 00:22:16,668 --> 00:22:20,006 Isn't it great not having that penned up anymore? 325 00:22:20,039 --> 00:22:23,308 ♪ Bore you 326 00:22:23,341 --> 00:22:27,079 You poor thing. Are you all right? 327 00:22:27,113 --> 00:22:30,681 You don't even have to talk about it. 328 00:22:30,716 --> 00:22:36,455 I know what it must have been like trapped out there with that wicked tongue. 329 00:22:36,488 --> 00:22:41,759 I hope you gave it right back to her as good as she gave it. 330 00:22:41,792 --> 00:22:43,996 Oh, I know I did. 331 00:22:44,030 --> 00:22:46,965 [ Man On Microphone ] May we have your attention, please? 332 00:22:46,965 --> 00:22:52,070 The bride's parents? Where are the bride's parents? 333 00:22:52,104 --> 00:22:56,208 Ah, the lovely mother and the handsome dad. 334 00:22:56,241 --> 00:22:59,644 Why don't you two little lovebirds show us what it's all about? 335 00:22:59,677 --> 00:23:01,612 I thought you told them not to do this. 336 00:23:01,646 --> 00:23:03,414 I thought you did. No! 337 00:23:03,448 --> 00:23:09,187 Go ahead. I want you to. 338 00:23:09,221 --> 00:23:13,691 ♪ [ Orchestra: Slow Tempo ] 339 00:23:16,194 --> 00:23:20,532 [ Scattered Applause ] 340 00:23:20,566 --> 00:23:24,070 [ Whispering ] Oh, God, Keith! [ Sighs ] 341 00:23:33,478 --> 00:23:37,183 Can you believe it? [ Chuckles ] 342 00:23:37,216 --> 00:23:42,487 How are you? Well, I'm-- I'm just completely horrified. 343 00:23:42,521 --> 00:23:44,690 How are you? I'm very upset. 344 00:23:44,723 --> 00:23:50,129 Why the hell did we do that? Why else? Alcohol. 345 00:23:50,162 --> 00:23:53,464 I guess it was just some old itch... 346 00:23:53,498 --> 00:23:56,435 lurking around down there in some sick hidden place. 347 00:23:56,467 --> 00:24:01,440 It just sort of, uh, popped up. That's not funny. 348 00:24:01,472 --> 00:24:04,776 We just committed adultery. I know what we committed. 349 00:24:04,809 --> 00:24:08,414 I am as upset about it as you are. 350 00:24:08,446 --> 00:24:12,151 Well, I don't think anyone suspects. 351 00:24:12,183 --> 00:24:15,253 Not with us. Are you kidding? It's unthinkable. 352 00:24:15,287 --> 00:24:17,188 Look at them over there. 353 00:24:17,223 --> 00:24:21,492 Alan thinks I've made some kind of psychological breakthrough. 354 00:24:25,863 --> 00:24:29,701 Look. [ Bandleader ] And now the groom's parents. 355 00:24:29,735 --> 00:24:31,703 We got away with it. 356 00:24:31,737 --> 00:24:34,305 So what do you say we just... 357 00:24:34,340 --> 00:24:37,576 get through this dance, go home, 358 00:24:37,609 --> 00:24:40,445 forget that it ever happened? 359 00:24:40,478 --> 00:24:43,381 Good idea. 360 00:24:43,414 --> 00:24:46,517 It was good though, wasn't it? I mean, wasn't it? 361 00:24:46,551 --> 00:24:51,290 It was good? It was very good. [ Clears Throat ] 362 00:24:51,322 --> 00:24:54,360 You sure know how to send me to the chiropractor. 363 00:24:54,392 --> 00:25:00,332 Oh, so you miss me that way? No comment. 364 00:25:00,365 --> 00:25:04,270 [ Bandleader ] And now the newlyweds. 365 00:25:04,302 --> 00:25:07,173 [ Scattered Applause ] 366 00:25:07,206 --> 00:25:12,711 Look, I don't know what I'm gonna do when this dance is over. 367 00:25:13,645 --> 00:25:19,318 Oh, God. I feel the same way. 368 00:25:19,350 --> 00:25:23,488 Let's just have one more dance. No. We can't. They'll know. 369 00:25:28,827 --> 00:25:33,232 This is it then? It has to be. 370 00:25:34,932 --> 00:25:40,706 Well, never ever in my wildest dreams-- 371 00:25:42,973 --> 00:25:47,145 Who the hell knows anything anyway, right? 372 00:25:47,145 --> 00:25:49,914 Not me. 373 00:25:52,984 --> 00:25:55,487 Good-bye, Danny. ♪ [ Ends ] 374 00:25:55,521 --> 00:26:00,459 Good-bye, Lilly. [ Scattered Applause ] 375 00:26:02,628 --> 00:26:06,797 See? You had nothing to worry about. 376 00:26:06,832 --> 00:26:08,933 Mm-hmm. 377 00:26:08,967 --> 00:26:11,869 I was so proud of you today. 378 00:26:11,903 --> 00:26:15,207 Do we have to bring these quivering little rats with us everywhere we go? 379 00:26:15,241 --> 00:26:18,376 She didn't mean that. Yes, I meant it. 380 00:26:18,410 --> 00:26:21,813 Okay, what is it? Nothing, nothing. 381 00:26:21,847 --> 00:26:25,884 Alan, can we go home now? I think I know why you're agitated. 382 00:26:25,916 --> 00:26:29,888 What do you mean? Well, in layman's terms, 383 00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:34,625 it's a rush from finally having released all that anger toward Dan. 384 00:26:34,659 --> 00:26:39,698 [ Sighs ] Do you remember we talked about psychological mastery? 385 00:26:39,731 --> 00:26:42,533 I know you thought I was blathering on at the time. 386 00:26:42,567 --> 00:26:44,770 But now do you see what I meant? 387 00:26:44,803 --> 00:26:48,807 You had a tremendous act of separation individuation. 388 00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:52,009 You confronted your bogeyman. You grabbed your gremlin. 389 00:26:52,043 --> 00:26:55,681 Now do you see how important talking is? 390 00:26:55,714 --> 00:26:57,616 What? Oh! 391 00:26:57,648 --> 00:27:00,351 Yes. Oh, it's important. [ Chuckles ] 392 00:27:00,385 --> 00:27:05,490 You finally overcame the narcissistic injury of that relationship... 393 00:27:05,524 --> 00:27:08,626 and you felt the empowerment of closure. 394 00:27:08,659 --> 00:27:11,029 It was a victory for me as well, 395 00:27:11,061 --> 00:27:13,732 because you remember that recurring dream I had... 396 00:27:13,765 --> 00:27:16,735 about the wild dogs gnawing at my genitals? 397 00:27:16,768 --> 00:27:19,938 Before I thought those dogs symbolized our children. 398 00:27:19,970 --> 00:27:23,474 But how could that be? I love our children so much. 399 00:27:23,509 --> 00:27:26,677 Now I see the dogs symbolize Dan, [ Phone Ringing ] 400 00:27:26,711 --> 00:27:30,749 and my genitals... symbolize... my genitals. 401 00:27:30,782 --> 00:27:33,319 I think that's the key-- Hello? 402 00:27:33,352 --> 00:27:37,323 - Lilly? - ♪ [ Humming ] 403 00:27:37,356 --> 00:27:42,560 - It's me. - [ Gasps ] Oh, God. What do you want? 404 00:27:42,593 --> 00:27:46,898 - I'm curious about something. - What? 405 00:27:46,932 --> 00:27:49,735 Does this mean that we're speaking? 406 00:27:49,768 --> 00:27:53,070 [ Alan Continues, Indistinct ] 407 00:27:53,104 --> 00:27:55,040 Apparently. 408 00:27:55,072 --> 00:27:57,475 Okay, good, because I have to talk to you. 409 00:27:57,509 --> 00:27:59,778 No. No! 410 00:27:59,810 --> 00:28:02,681 Coffee. I'm not trying to start anything here. 411 00:28:02,713 --> 00:28:04,883 Meet me downstairs in five minutes. 412 00:28:04,915 --> 00:28:07,752 You just want to sit and talk to me? 413 00:28:07,786 --> 00:28:11,489 Yeah, I think it's a fitting end to a sinister afternoon. 414 00:28:11,523 --> 00:28:15,527 Sinister? You call sexual attraction to me sinister? 415 00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:18,696 All right, then, calamitous. 416 00:28:19,898 --> 00:28:23,935 Remember that funny thing-- [ Indistinct ] 417 00:28:23,969 --> 00:28:26,304 It was just a cigar. 418 00:28:48,393 --> 00:28:51,496 [ Lilly Laughing Uproariously ] 419 00:28:51,530 --> 00:28:54,833 Uh, Keith? Hmm? 420 00:28:54,866 --> 00:28:57,034 I know you're going to think I'm a little weird, 421 00:28:57,068 --> 00:29:00,839 but that sounded just like my mother's laugh. 422 00:29:00,871 --> 00:29:02,940 [ Chuckles ] Molly. 423 00:29:02,973 --> 00:29:08,079 You've got to stop fixating on your parents. It's not normal. 424 00:29:08,112 --> 00:29:10,516 Hmm? Yeah. 425 00:29:12,550 --> 00:29:14,653 [ Lilly Continues Laughing Uproariously ] 426 00:29:14,685 --> 00:29:16,754 That's it. Did you hear that? 427 00:29:16,787 --> 00:29:21,158 That braying? Okay, I'm sorry. 428 00:29:21,191 --> 00:29:25,763 Never mind. Never mind. I'm insane, aren't I? 429 00:29:25,796 --> 00:29:29,166 [ Dan Laughing ] That is my dad! 430 00:29:29,199 --> 00:29:32,504 Oh, for God's sake, Molly. It sounded just like him. 431 00:29:32,538 --> 00:29:36,508 Well, it can't possibly be him, can it? I know. 432 00:29:36,542 --> 00:29:39,777 I know. Okay. 433 00:29:40,711 --> 00:29:42,780 Mmm. Mmm. 434 00:29:45,451 --> 00:29:47,385 So? I'm sorry. 435 00:29:47,385 --> 00:29:50,856 I don't think I'm going to be able to get comfortable here... 436 00:29:50,889 --> 00:29:53,491 'til I know what's going on. 437 00:29:53,525 --> 00:29:56,427 [ Sighs ] Molly! 438 00:29:56,462 --> 00:30:00,799 That cannot possibly be your parents in the same room having a high old time. 439 00:30:00,831 --> 00:30:03,435 You do know that, don't you? [ Lilly Laughing ] 440 00:30:03,469 --> 00:30:06,972 Uh, I can't. Can you look? 441 00:30:07,005 --> 00:30:11,777 Look? How? Look? 442 00:30:11,809 --> 00:30:16,482 Uh, just look out the window. Kind of crane around. 443 00:30:16,515 --> 00:30:20,818 I am not gonna spy on some poor couple. 444 00:30:23,153 --> 00:30:25,591 You really want me to do this. 445 00:30:25,624 --> 00:30:29,528 I'll hold your legs. 446 00:30:29,561 --> 00:30:32,931 What do you mean? Rowena didn't like my bald spot, 447 00:30:32,964 --> 00:30:36,568 so she made me do this thing where they put something under your scalp. 448 00:30:36,602 --> 00:30:38,570 They blow it up like a balloon. 449 00:30:38,604 --> 00:30:42,907 They cut away the bald skin, and then they suture you back up. 450 00:30:42,941 --> 00:30:47,045 I tell you, I have no feeling at the top of my head. 451 00:30:47,078 --> 00:30:49,515 It's dead up here. Look. Look. 452 00:30:49,548 --> 00:30:53,719 You can drop coconuts on it. Let me kiss it alive. 453 00:30:53,751 --> 00:30:57,588 Oh, would you? Would you? Would you? I'm comin' in, baby! 454 00:30:57,622 --> 00:31:01,225 [ Laughing Uproariously ] 455 00:31:01,259 --> 00:31:05,497 [ Laughing Continues ] Oh, my God! 456 00:31:05,531 --> 00:31:07,932 I thought they hated each other. They're supposed to! 457 00:31:07,966 --> 00:31:09,934 They did. They have. 458 00:31:09,968 --> 00:31:12,003 [ Thumping ] Oh, God. We can't stay here. 459 00:31:12,037 --> 00:31:16,141 I'm not going to stay and listen to my parents having sex on my wedding night. 460 00:31:16,173 --> 00:31:18,143 I'm not leaving. What? 461 00:31:18,175 --> 00:31:20,245 Tell them to leave. No! 462 00:31:20,277 --> 00:31:22,113 I'm not going to walk in on them when they're-- 463 00:31:22,147 --> 00:31:24,650 [ Thumping Continues ] [ Glasses Clinking ] 464 00:31:24,683 --> 00:31:28,253 Oh, God! Oh! 465 00:31:28,285 --> 00:31:30,188 We want another room. 466 00:31:30,220 --> 00:31:32,023 Is there something wrong? 467 00:31:32,057 --> 00:31:36,293 You couldn't begin to imagine. 468 00:31:36,326 --> 00:31:40,898 But the Maple Room is the largest-- Just switch it! 469 00:31:40,931 --> 00:31:43,934 Please. I'm afraid we can't. 470 00:31:43,968 --> 00:31:48,974 We just have the six rooms, and the last one just rented. 471 00:31:49,007 --> 00:31:53,110 Uh, Keith. Yes? 472 00:31:53,144 --> 00:31:57,715 I've got a bad feeling, like we shouldn't stay here another second. 473 00:31:57,749 --> 00:32:00,618 We really don't want to know what's going on up there, do we? No, we don't. 474 00:32:00,651 --> 00:32:03,053 Let's just drive out of here before something hideous-- 475 00:32:03,088 --> 00:32:06,223 Where would we go? Uh, let's go to the airport. 476 00:32:06,257 --> 00:32:12,030 I am not spending my wedding night in those orange plastic chairs waiting for a flight. 477 00:32:12,063 --> 00:32:14,965 Oh, thank God, you guys are up. 478 00:32:14,999 --> 00:32:17,335 Listen, have you seen your father? 479 00:32:17,367 --> 00:32:19,870 Uh, no. This is very weird. 480 00:32:19,904 --> 00:32:23,208 If I didn't know better, I'd think he was having an affair. 481 00:32:23,241 --> 00:32:26,010 No! No! 482 00:32:26,044 --> 00:32:29,815 Then why did he shave to go for a walk? Ma'am? 483 00:32:29,847 --> 00:32:33,951 You haven't seen my husband, have you? 484 00:32:33,984 --> 00:32:38,056 Oh, yes. He just rented the Birch Room for his sister. 485 00:32:38,089 --> 00:32:40,925 Of course. 486 00:32:40,958 --> 00:32:42,828 [ Clock Chiming ] 487 00:32:42,860 --> 00:32:46,598 But, look, we've gotten you up. Please, uh-- 488 00:32:46,632 --> 00:32:49,967 If there's nothing else I can do? Good night, dear. 489 00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:52,070 Good night. 490 00:32:55,641 --> 00:32:57,341 Birch. 491 00:33:00,711 --> 00:33:05,150 Duck and cover. [ Sighs ] 492 00:33:18,863 --> 00:33:22,701 Well, quite the little detective, aren't you? 493 00:33:22,734 --> 00:33:24,870 Better than I was. 494 00:33:24,902 --> 00:33:28,839 Would you have the decency to tell me where my husband is? 495 00:33:28,874 --> 00:33:33,410 My ex-husband went back to try and make some lame, pathetic excuse to you. 496 00:33:33,443 --> 00:33:36,247 Obviously it was too late. 497 00:33:36,281 --> 00:33:41,787 This is the worst behavior I have ever encountered in another adult. 498 00:33:41,820 --> 00:33:45,290 Oh, Rowena, I didn't mean to hurt you. 499 00:33:45,323 --> 00:33:49,294 It was just "spontaneous combustion." 500 00:33:56,134 --> 00:33:59,705 Did you have to gloat? 501 00:34:02,272 --> 00:34:04,876 Oh, yes, I definitely did. 502 00:34:04,909 --> 00:34:07,277 You can make jokes. You're not the one in the hot seat. 503 00:34:07,312 --> 00:34:12,017 Oh, come on. She's gone to tell Alan. She's not gonna let me get out of this. 504 00:34:12,049 --> 00:34:14,219 Then I guess you're in the hot seat too. 505 00:34:14,252 --> 00:34:18,023 What should we do? Nothing. 506 00:34:18,055 --> 00:34:20,390 You're right. She'll tell Alan. 507 00:34:20,425 --> 00:34:24,429 There will be threats and scenes, hollering and crying, 508 00:34:24,461 --> 00:34:26,997 quarts of Maalox down people's throats. 509 00:34:27,031 --> 00:34:30,435 And you know what? What? 510 00:34:30,467 --> 00:34:35,707 I'm not in the mood. I'm not in the mood for that at all. 511 00:34:35,741 --> 00:34:40,010 Can we avoid it? Oh, no, we can't avoid it. 512 00:34:41,145 --> 00:34:47,218 But we can postpone it. [ Laughs ] 513 00:34:47,685 --> 00:34:50,120 How do you mean, gone? 514 00:34:50,155 --> 00:34:53,224 Away! They left! That's what gone usually means. 515 00:34:53,258 --> 00:34:56,762 Can we not get hysterical? They could be back in 20 minutes. 516 00:34:56,794 --> 00:34:59,363 Yes, you would be calm. Oh, Alan. 517 00:34:59,396 --> 00:35:01,365 You're the natural child of those people. 518 00:35:01,398 --> 00:35:04,770 On some subterranean level, you're glad this happened. She's glad. 519 00:35:04,803 --> 00:35:07,037 Alan, Rowena, you have been wonderful to me. 520 00:35:07,072 --> 00:35:12,510 They have been much better off with the two of you than they ever were together. 521 00:35:12,542 --> 00:35:14,979 I never wanted this. 522 00:35:15,013 --> 00:35:20,017 Was there some reason why you had to invite them both? That wasn't my idea. 523 00:35:20,050 --> 00:35:24,121 You didn't tell me they were certifiable. I begged you to elope. 524 00:35:24,154 --> 00:35:26,758 [ Alan Sobbing ] I don't want to argue. 525 00:35:26,792 --> 00:35:28,959 I'm sorry. 526 00:35:28,994 --> 00:35:32,330 Pull it together. This from a mental health professional. 527 00:35:32,363 --> 00:35:34,965 It's not my fault! 528 00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:38,168 On top of everything else, she took my Prozavil. 529 00:35:38,202 --> 00:35:41,406 It was in her purse. I'm supposed to take it every four hours. 530 00:35:41,439 --> 00:35:43,408 Or what? You turn into a basket case? 531 00:35:43,441 --> 00:35:47,412 No, just slight manic-depressive tendencies. 532 00:35:47,445 --> 00:35:50,849 [ Alan Sobbing ] Oh, no, no. Oh, no! 533 00:35:50,882 --> 00:35:53,518 My life is over! Shut up! 534 00:35:53,550 --> 00:35:58,123 I don't think there's much more Keith and I can do about this right now, so-- 535 00:35:58,156 --> 00:36:01,993 No, no, no, no. You have to help us. 536 00:36:02,026 --> 00:36:05,263 How can I? I don't know! But you did this. 537 00:36:05,296 --> 00:36:10,869 I know you didn't mean to, but you brought them back together. Help us get them back. 538 00:36:10,901 --> 00:36:14,204 I don't know where they are. Haven't I been a friend to you? 539 00:36:14,238 --> 00:36:17,908 Who got you that Lacroix prom dress? Who got you electrolysis? 540 00:36:17,943 --> 00:36:21,078 You'd have one big eyebrow if it weren't for me! 541 00:36:21,111 --> 00:36:25,115 Molly, please? [ Alan Continues Sobbing ] 542 00:36:25,149 --> 00:36:27,517 Molly. 543 00:36:27,552 --> 00:36:31,823 Um, can you excuse me? 544 00:36:31,857 --> 00:36:35,560 [ Alan Continues Sobbing ] Dogs. I need dogs. 545 00:36:35,592 --> 00:36:40,530 Do you really think they're coming back? Uh-- 546 00:36:40,565 --> 00:36:44,435 Oh, boy. Look, this is not our problem. 547 00:36:44,469 --> 00:36:47,037 It is a big problem, Molly. 548 00:36:47,072 --> 00:36:50,008 I'm running for Congress on a family values platform. 549 00:36:50,041 --> 00:36:54,512 I can't have some tacky Hollywood adultery scandal with my new in-laws. 550 00:36:54,544 --> 00:36:56,981 The press will eat it up. 551 00:36:57,014 --> 00:36:59,016 Someone has to find them... 552 00:36:59,050 --> 00:37:03,221 and get them back here quietly before this hits the tabloids. 553 00:37:03,253 --> 00:37:06,124 Uh, I think it's too late. 554 00:37:06,156 --> 00:37:09,627 Oh, for Chr-- All he needs is to see these two in here blubbering. 555 00:37:09,659 --> 00:37:12,864 He'll know what happened. We've got to get them home quietly. 556 00:37:12,898 --> 00:37:15,633 Where is he now? Um-- 557 00:37:15,665 --> 00:37:20,005 He's going around the back. 558 00:37:20,038 --> 00:37:22,440 I'll be back as soon as I've hired a detective. 559 00:37:22,473 --> 00:37:25,877 I want to come with you. No! What if your parents come back? 560 00:37:25,911 --> 00:37:28,312 He can't see them together. 561 00:37:28,346 --> 00:37:30,314 Honey, I'm sorry. 562 00:37:30,348 --> 00:37:34,920 This is what being a political wife is all about: damage control. 563 00:37:34,953 --> 00:37:38,655 Oh, God! Just find some way to get rid of him. 564 00:37:38,688 --> 00:37:40,657 Get him arrested. 565 00:37:40,690 --> 00:37:42,393 You see how important this is? 566 00:37:42,427 --> 00:37:45,997 I know, it's just this is our honeymoon. 567 00:37:46,031 --> 00:37:49,266 Think how much better our honeymoon will be... knowing I still have a career. 568 00:37:49,300 --> 00:37:51,401 I know. 569 00:37:51,436 --> 00:37:53,470 Love you. 570 00:38:00,978 --> 00:38:06,417 So... she ran off, didn't she? 571 00:38:06,451 --> 00:38:09,653 - No! - Then where is she? 572 00:38:09,687 --> 00:38:12,190 I don't have to answer that. 573 00:38:12,222 --> 00:38:16,494 You know what I think? I think she ran off with some guy. 574 00:38:16,526 --> 00:38:19,931 You're delusional. Then what's this? 575 00:38:19,965 --> 00:38:24,102 "Dear Molly, This will make more sense to you when you're on your second husband." 576 00:38:24,134 --> 00:38:26,671 What is that? She left you a note at the desk. 577 00:38:26,703 --> 00:38:29,706 So you just take it? It wouldn't be the first time. 578 00:38:29,739 --> 00:38:32,342 So, uh, she ran off with Dan. 579 00:38:35,113 --> 00:38:40,952 Listen, you are not gonna put my parents on the cover of some sleazy tabloid-- 580 00:38:40,986 --> 00:38:43,554 Dan's your dad? 581 00:38:43,588 --> 00:38:46,024 Oh, man! They're gonna love this one! 582 00:38:46,057 --> 00:38:49,527 Let's go! Where are you going? 583 00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:53,363 That's for me to know and you to read in the paper. Wait! 584 00:38:53,397 --> 00:38:58,169 This is big, big, big bucks! Please! 585 00:38:58,202 --> 00:39:01,306 Uh, what is your name? 586 00:39:01,339 --> 00:39:05,209 My name? You wanna know my name? Yes. 587 00:39:05,243 --> 00:39:07,178 It's Joey Donna. 588 00:39:07,211 --> 00:39:13,150 Joey, you seem to be very talented at finding my mother. 589 00:39:13,184 --> 00:39:15,120 That's what I do. Um, right. 590 00:39:15,152 --> 00:39:20,558 Well, I was wondering if maybe you could find her for me. 591 00:39:20,591 --> 00:39:22,727 For you? Yes. 592 00:39:22,759 --> 00:39:25,295 You would be encouraging me to do this? 593 00:39:25,329 --> 00:39:28,166 This once, yes. 594 00:39:28,198 --> 00:39:31,368 You have absolutely no idea where she is, do ya? 595 00:39:31,401 --> 00:39:34,404 I-- No, no. 596 00:39:34,438 --> 00:39:38,342 So, after all the times you people have thrown me out of places... 597 00:39:38,375 --> 00:39:41,679 and slammed doors in my face and shook me out of trees, 598 00:39:41,711 --> 00:39:44,149 all of a sudden I'm supposed to switch sides? 599 00:39:44,182 --> 00:39:47,685 - So it's a matter of money? - Four bills, minimum. 600 00:39:47,717 --> 00:39:50,055 I.e., $400? 601 00:39:50,088 --> 00:39:53,058 I.e.? Who says i.e.? 602 00:39:53,090 --> 00:39:56,727 - Isn't that kind of high? - I.e. Who talks like that? 603 00:39:56,760 --> 00:39:58,428 Yes or no? 604 00:39:58,463 --> 00:40:01,598 All right, I'm in. Come on. 605 00:40:01,631 --> 00:40:04,569 But no pictures! 606 00:40:04,602 --> 00:40:06,203 Definitely not. 607 00:40:06,237 --> 00:40:08,705 I mean it. I see a camera, I will smash it. 608 00:40:08,739 --> 00:40:11,309 As long as you understand that. 609 00:40:11,341 --> 00:40:14,344 Okay. Deal? 610 00:40:19,117 --> 00:40:21,186 Hey, Bri, what's my girlfriend up to? 611 00:40:21,219 --> 00:40:24,289 - Who are you talking to? - Shh. Uh-huh. 612 00:40:24,321 --> 00:40:29,826 Versace? Missoni, yeah? How much at La Pergla? 613 00:40:29,859 --> 00:40:33,531 She must really like this guy, huh? 614 00:40:33,564 --> 00:40:35,566 Hey, thanks, Bri. Who loves ya? 615 00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:39,170 You're the best. All right. Bye, Bri. 616 00:40:39,204 --> 00:40:41,838 We seem to be on a little shopping spree in town. 617 00:40:41,871 --> 00:40:44,142 Come on. Come on. 618 00:40:53,283 --> 00:40:58,423 That phone call. That was her bank, wasn't it? 619 00:40:58,456 --> 00:41:03,361 You have a spy in her bank telling you her credit card records. 620 00:41:09,867 --> 00:41:12,303 Let me ask you something. 621 00:41:12,336 --> 00:41:15,740 What's so bad about this? Why is this making you nuts? 622 00:41:15,772 --> 00:41:19,110 Your parents are back together. Isn't that nice? 623 00:41:19,144 --> 00:41:23,781 No. They have been happily married to other people for 14 years. 624 00:41:23,813 --> 00:41:27,585 Yeah? Well, personally, I never liked old Alan. 625 00:41:27,618 --> 00:41:29,587 I don't think he respects her. 626 00:41:29,620 --> 00:41:34,125 Excuse me? All those times I've been right in his wife's face, 627 00:41:34,159 --> 00:41:35,892 he never took a swing at me. 628 00:41:35,925 --> 00:41:40,430 How can you talk about Alan not respecting her? Look what you do. 629 00:41:40,464 --> 00:41:42,466 Come on. What? 630 00:41:42,499 --> 00:41:44,369 She loves it. 631 00:41:44,401 --> 00:41:46,604 Okay, she loves being constantly harassed. 632 00:41:46,637 --> 00:41:50,441 I'm her biggest fan. Who do you think keeps her on the cover of the Globe? 633 00:41:50,475 --> 00:41:54,379 She should pay me. I just hope they're being discreet. 634 00:41:54,411 --> 00:41:58,616 ♪ [ Man Singing Opera ] 635 00:42:00,518 --> 00:42:04,489 [ Laughing ] Oh, come here, you. 636 00:42:07,524 --> 00:42:12,396 It's so nice to see a mature, loving relationship. 637 00:42:12,430 --> 00:42:16,367 It's adulterous, but thank you very much. 638 00:42:17,967 --> 00:42:22,606 Oh, I love this. I love everything about being the other woman. 639 00:42:22,640 --> 00:42:25,609 It's so... French. 640 00:42:25,643 --> 00:42:30,480 So, what did you miss about me? Absolutely nothing. 641 00:42:30,514 --> 00:42:34,185 Liar. I'm serious. Every hour was a blessed relief. 642 00:42:34,219 --> 00:42:36,254 Come on. 643 00:42:37,987 --> 00:42:40,390 Your singing. Mmm. 644 00:42:40,425 --> 00:42:45,830 2:00 in the morning, in the bathtub, glass of champagne. 645 00:42:45,863 --> 00:42:50,334 Is that why you stabbed your actress in the throat 27 times? 646 00:42:50,368 --> 00:42:52,469 You read my book. [ Laughs ] 647 00:42:52,503 --> 00:42:55,740 I knew you would. I skimmed it in the checkout line. 648 00:42:55,772 --> 00:42:57,307 Uh-huh. You missed me. 649 00:42:57,341 --> 00:43:02,279 And I suppose you didn't sneak off to the movies to ogle me once or twice? 650 00:43:02,312 --> 00:43:06,616 I saw you win the Civil War single-handedly. 651 00:43:06,650 --> 00:43:09,354 Wait. What? 652 00:43:09,386 --> 00:43:13,858 I just got a tingle. My paparazzi. 653 00:43:13,890 --> 00:43:15,993 He's out here. 654 00:43:16,025 --> 00:43:18,595 We better get you off the street. 655 00:43:18,628 --> 00:43:22,499 Oh. A hotel? 656 00:43:22,532 --> 00:43:24,668 I hope you're paying. 657 00:43:24,702 --> 00:43:28,239 You'd let me pay? You've mellowed. 658 00:43:28,273 --> 00:43:31,909 You have to pay. I cancelled all my credit cards. 659 00:43:31,941 --> 00:43:37,882 He thinks I'm not onto him, that little cockroach, but he has been fumigated. 660 00:43:37,915 --> 00:43:42,018 Come on. Altogether. As a group. [ Dogs Yipping ] 661 00:43:42,051 --> 00:43:45,455 Come on! Go up the stairs. You know how to go up stairs. 662 00:43:45,490 --> 00:43:48,225 One paw in front of another. Would you just-- 663 00:43:48,225 --> 00:43:52,863 At the risk of being critical-- No, I've got to say-- Would you, please-- 664 00:43:52,896 --> 00:43:56,467 Children, children, please. Would you just take it easy? Mommy's not here. 665 00:43:56,500 --> 00:43:59,604 Go ahead. Mommy's not here. Let me take your leashes off. 666 00:43:59,637 --> 00:44:03,006 Just let me take your-- All right! Down! 667 00:44:03,040 --> 00:44:05,743 Open your own can. 668 00:44:05,776 --> 00:44:08,479 Message. Message. 669 00:44:08,512 --> 00:44:10,748 [ Machine Beeps ] Hi, Alan. It's Molly. 670 00:44:10,781 --> 00:44:13,984 If Keith's with you, can you please tell him to stay there? [ Alan ] Well! 671 00:44:14,017 --> 00:44:17,622 It's for you. Don't hire a detective. I found someone to find them. 672 00:44:17,654 --> 00:44:20,391 I'll meet you at Mom's later. Found who? 673 00:44:20,425 --> 00:44:22,592 Thanks. [ Machine Beeps ] 674 00:44:22,626 --> 00:44:24,628 American. [ Scoffs ] 675 00:44:24,661 --> 00:44:28,933 [ Ringing ] Hello? Oh. 676 00:44:28,966 --> 00:44:34,772 Yeah, uh, look, Phil, I'm gonna have to cancel our session. 677 00:44:34,805 --> 00:44:39,008 Yes, I'm going through something here. 678 00:44:39,043 --> 00:44:44,013 [ Liquid Pouring ] I know. I know! 679 00:44:44,048 --> 00:44:48,052 I don't think you're having a marital crisis, are you? 680 00:44:48,084 --> 00:44:50,020 Hey, she's still there, isn't she? 681 00:44:50,053 --> 00:44:54,391 She hasn't run off with some morally bankrupt ex-lover! 682 00:44:54,425 --> 00:44:57,494 You want my advice, Phil? Do you? Shut up! 683 00:44:57,528 --> 00:44:59,697 Okay? For once in your life, shut up! 684 00:44:59,729 --> 00:45:04,734 You have feelings about that? We'll talk about it Monday. 685 00:45:05,935 --> 00:45:10,640 It's over. Someone will see them. 686 00:45:10,675 --> 00:45:13,643 7:00 tonight it will be all over E.T. 687 00:45:13,678 --> 00:45:15,745 My friends will know my marriage is over and drop me. 688 00:45:15,779 --> 00:45:17,815 Friends don't drop you 'cause you're single. 689 00:45:17,848 --> 00:45:19,984 What planet are you from? 690 00:45:20,016 --> 00:45:25,121 You know something? I have just about had it with you. 691 00:45:25,154 --> 00:45:27,458 You have no feeling for your husband at all. 692 00:45:27,492 --> 00:45:29,994 All you care is you're not gonna get into La Bernadin... 693 00:45:30,027 --> 00:45:34,365 like all the other liposuctioned-up second wives. 694 00:45:34,399 --> 00:45:39,068 Tell me. Is any of your face or body original? Just curious. 695 00:45:39,103 --> 00:45:41,439 You must make a lovely therapist. 696 00:45:41,472 --> 00:45:44,375 [ Alan ] My marriage is ending, okay? 697 00:45:44,409 --> 00:45:46,643 I am a nationally prominent marital authority. 698 00:45:46,676 --> 00:45:50,780 How is it going to look when my own marriage crashes and burns? 699 00:45:50,815 --> 00:45:52,782 Go back on drugs. 700 00:45:52,816 --> 00:45:55,785 You are so at odds with your shadow self. 701 00:45:55,819 --> 00:45:57,887 Zip it. Ohh! 702 00:45:57,922 --> 00:46:00,990 Have you done any-- Come on, Alsace. Get off of her. 703 00:46:01,024 --> 00:46:03,493 He's not interested. There's nothing there for you. 704 00:46:03,527 --> 00:46:05,762 [ Phone Ringing ] [ Molly ] I don't understand. 705 00:46:05,795 --> 00:46:08,966 You wouldn't. She just happened to cancel her cards, just like that? 706 00:46:08,998 --> 00:46:12,470 She's a very smart lady. Why are we here? 707 00:46:12,502 --> 00:46:15,004 I told you! Research! At a tabloid? 708 00:46:15,039 --> 00:46:17,641 Exactly. Hey, Lis! Don't talk to me. 709 00:46:17,675 --> 00:46:20,545 I'll pay ya back! Yeah! 710 00:46:20,578 --> 00:46:22,647 Ah, women. You're just vamping. 711 00:46:22,679 --> 00:46:25,049 Those cards were your whole umbilicus to her. 712 00:46:25,082 --> 00:46:28,052 "Umbilicus"? Where'd you dig that one up? 713 00:46:28,085 --> 00:46:31,721 Could you just explain this, please? Your mom's sentimental. 714 00:46:31,755 --> 00:46:33,924 I figure they went somewhere they been before. 715 00:46:33,958 --> 00:46:36,726 Being as her whole life is right here on hard drive-- 716 00:46:36,760 --> 00:46:38,695 [ Beeps ] 717 00:46:38,728 --> 00:46:42,900 This is worse than the F.B.I. 718 00:46:42,933 --> 00:46:47,804 Joey! Donna! Get off my desk! 719 00:46:47,837 --> 00:46:51,575 Rufus, give me five minutes huh? Five minutes. One! 720 00:46:51,609 --> 00:46:54,912 You're the best. You don't even work here. 721 00:46:54,945 --> 00:46:57,113 I almost do. They buy from me sometimes. 722 00:46:57,147 --> 00:46:59,984 [ Beeping ] [ Keyboard Keys Clicking ] 723 00:47:00,016 --> 00:47:05,790 [ Molly Sighs, Gasps ] Well, your magnum opus. 724 00:47:05,822 --> 00:47:08,124 I had a bad month, all right? I needed new tires. 725 00:47:08,158 --> 00:47:11,729 So you just expose her at her most vulnerable for a quick buck. 726 00:47:11,761 --> 00:47:13,731 Okay, here we go. Wedding day. 727 00:47:13,763 --> 00:47:17,535 Tsk! Oh, you were cute! 728 00:47:17,567 --> 00:47:21,005 H-How could that be me? 729 00:47:21,038 --> 00:47:24,642 [ Molly ] Wait, wait, wait. 730 00:47:24,674 --> 00:47:26,676 I was already born when they got married? 731 00:47:26,711 --> 00:47:31,949 Where is this? I know that pillar. 732 00:47:31,982 --> 00:47:34,918 I spent four hours behind that pillar waitin' for Cher. 733 00:47:34,952 --> 00:47:38,122 Morally unconscious party animals. 734 00:47:38,155 --> 00:47:41,257 That's the Majestic Hotel! 735 00:47:41,290 --> 00:47:44,662 That's it. That's it. They lied. I'm-- 736 00:47:44,694 --> 00:47:49,666 A love child. Yeah. Welcome to the club. Let's go. 737 00:47:49,700 --> 00:47:51,735 Come on. You're here either way. 738 00:47:51,768 --> 00:47:54,203 You were born. That's all that counts. Don't tell Keith. 739 00:47:54,238 --> 00:47:56,774 When would I tell him? Like we go to the same parties. 740 00:47:56,807 --> 00:47:59,810 How'd you hook up with that guy anyway? 741 00:47:59,844 --> 00:48:02,713 I met him at the Yale Club. Oh, the Yale Club. 742 00:48:02,746 --> 00:48:07,951 Is that where people go when they realize nobody gives a shit where they went to school? 743 00:48:07,985 --> 00:48:13,256 What makes you the big authority on relationships? Have you ever even had one? 744 00:48:13,290 --> 00:48:16,994 More than I can handle. Oh? Really? 745 00:48:17,027 --> 00:48:19,195 Do you have one now? 746 00:48:19,229 --> 00:48:21,599 My time's tight. I work a lot. 747 00:48:21,632 --> 00:48:23,634 What you do is not work. 748 00:48:23,668 --> 00:48:26,903 How would you know? Have you ever worked, princess? 749 00:48:26,936 --> 00:48:30,174 I'm going to graduate school. 750 00:48:30,207 --> 00:48:32,610 I.e., no! 751 00:48:32,643 --> 00:48:37,014 I work 16, 18 hours a day. I'm at all the parties-- 752 00:48:37,047 --> 00:48:40,685 Don't you mean outside them, lurking? 753 00:48:40,718 --> 00:48:43,153 I'm gettin' a little sick of this. 754 00:48:43,187 --> 00:48:45,955 You want me to help you? You treat me like a professional. 755 00:48:45,989 --> 00:48:50,995 I'm good at what I do. You either respect that or get Keith to help you. 756 00:48:51,028 --> 00:48:54,831 I'm sure that old Yale diploma will be a big help. 757 00:48:54,865 --> 00:48:57,300 I'm sorry, all right? 758 00:48:57,334 --> 00:49:00,804 But just don't run down my boyfriend. 759 00:49:00,838 --> 00:49:03,608 Don't you mean your husband? 760 00:49:07,376 --> 00:49:09,614 [ Sniffles ] 761 00:49:14,684 --> 00:49:16,587 [ Engine Grinds, Sputters ] 762 00:49:16,621 --> 00:49:19,356 It's like Grand Central Station in here. 763 00:49:19,388 --> 00:49:24,128 Think this is tough? Ha! How can you find a person in a hotel this size? 764 00:49:24,161 --> 00:49:27,197 First you get a look at the register. 765 00:49:27,231 --> 00:49:30,768 If that doesn't work out, you bribe the bellman. Or if you can't-- 766 00:49:30,800 --> 00:49:34,672 Okay, fine, but first I have to call Keith. 767 00:49:34,705 --> 00:49:38,643 By all means, call Keith. Oh, right. 768 00:49:38,676 --> 00:49:42,979 [ Elevator Bell Dings ] 769 00:49:43,947 --> 00:49:46,983 [ Coins Clattering ] [ Laughing ] 770 00:49:47,016 --> 00:49:48,585 [ Man ] Oh, my God! 771 00:49:48,585 --> 00:49:51,789 [ Man ] Excuse me? Psst. 772 00:49:51,822 --> 00:49:53,791 I don't believe this. 773 00:49:53,823 --> 00:49:56,693 Look, I never do this, but I am such a big fan. 774 00:49:56,726 --> 00:49:59,362 Oh, thank you. You're Dan Demauro, aren't you? 775 00:49:59,396 --> 00:50:03,266 Well, yes, I am. Look, I'm reading Blonde In Cement Heels. 776 00:50:03,299 --> 00:50:05,970 [ Phone Line Ringing ] Tell me I'm good. 777 00:50:06,002 --> 00:50:07,937 Good at what? 778 00:50:07,972 --> 00:50:10,006 Take a gander. 779 00:50:11,808 --> 00:50:14,243 [ Man ] Could you sign this for me? 780 00:50:14,278 --> 00:50:17,682 Oh! [ Dan ] What's your name? 781 00:50:17,715 --> 00:50:20,685 I love the way they're keeping a low profile. 782 00:50:20,718 --> 00:50:23,253 Let's go get them. Come on. Uh, that's okay. 783 00:50:23,287 --> 00:50:26,089 What's okay? I mean, I can do this. 784 00:50:26,123 --> 00:50:29,092 So, uh, this is it. 785 00:50:29,126 --> 00:50:34,097 What are you talkin' about? You found them, right? So, uh, it's $400. 786 00:50:34,131 --> 00:50:37,902 I hope a check's okay. Hold on a second. What's your rush? 787 00:50:37,934 --> 00:50:42,807 She's gonna see you. She's gonna cause problems. I think you should go. 788 00:50:42,840 --> 00:50:45,843 I wanna meet her. 789 00:50:45,875 --> 00:50:48,377 What? 790 00:50:48,412 --> 00:50:51,849 I wanna meet your mother. But you know her already. 791 00:50:51,882 --> 00:50:56,119 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. I just never met her. I want to be introduced. 792 00:50:56,153 --> 00:50:59,322 Like a person? 793 00:50:59,355 --> 00:51:01,825 Oh. Wow! 794 00:51:01,858 --> 00:51:07,031 Look, I didn't mean it that way. I appreciate the job you did. 795 00:51:07,063 --> 00:51:12,336 I do. It's just-- Look, my mother hates you. If she sees you-- Please. 796 00:51:12,368 --> 00:51:15,773 [ Lilly Laughs ] How did you recognize me? Please. 797 00:51:15,805 --> 00:51:20,477 [ Woman ] Could you give me an autograph? 798 00:51:20,509 --> 00:51:23,714 Vermin alert! 799 00:51:25,081 --> 00:51:27,718 How ya doin'? 800 00:51:27,752 --> 00:51:30,821 You're the cockroach? Only to my friends. 801 00:51:30,855 --> 00:51:34,224 Following, spying, tracking her like a bloodhound. 802 00:51:34,258 --> 00:51:37,361 Make up your mind. I'm either a cockroach or a bloodhound. 803 00:51:37,394 --> 00:51:41,998 Hey, a mixed metaphor is the least of your problems, my friend. 804 00:51:42,031 --> 00:51:45,335 You know what would be nice? If you would leave my wife alone! 805 00:51:45,369 --> 00:51:48,705 She's your ex-wife, Dad. We have to have a talk. Put him down. 806 00:51:48,705 --> 00:51:51,308 Oh, boo. I thought we were so clever. 807 00:51:51,341 --> 00:51:54,443 This is so annoying. You two could look at least a little guilty. 808 00:51:54,478 --> 00:51:56,480 Please. He is with me. Let him go. 809 00:51:56,512 --> 00:51:59,016 I'm sorry. I didn't know he was your date. 810 00:51:59,049 --> 00:52:01,818 He's not! Yeah? 811 00:52:01,851 --> 00:52:03,820 It's a long story. Uh-huh. 812 00:52:03,853 --> 00:52:06,090 His name's Joey Donna. Mm-hmm. 813 00:52:06,122 --> 00:52:09,827 Yeah. Joey, my parents. [ Scoffs ] 814 00:52:09,859 --> 00:52:13,863 Look, look, look. There's somethin' I want to say to you. 815 00:52:13,898 --> 00:52:16,901 Yes? I'm sorry. 816 00:52:16,933 --> 00:52:18,969 I shouldn't have taken that-- 817 00:52:19,002 --> 00:52:23,106 Fat. Fat. The word is fat. 818 00:52:23,139 --> 00:52:27,344 I shouldn't have shown you as a-- As an enormous fat pig? 819 00:52:27,377 --> 00:52:29,545 Right. I mean, no! I mean, you're beautiful. 820 00:52:29,578 --> 00:52:33,417 I promise I will never ever, ever do that again. 821 00:52:33,450 --> 00:52:37,120 Are you saying you'll never take a picture of her again as long as you live? 822 00:52:37,153 --> 00:52:41,224 What are you, high? I mean I'm only gonna take good ones. 823 00:52:41,258 --> 00:52:42,558 And nothin' from the left. 824 00:52:42,591 --> 00:52:45,494 And no low angles. You know that makes chins. 825 00:52:45,529 --> 00:52:48,332 - No chins. Done deal. - It better be. 826 00:52:48,365 --> 00:52:51,935 Could we discuss your own behavior? Don't be boring. 827 00:52:51,969 --> 00:52:54,370 Let's have a drink. Is it mimosa time, darling? 828 00:52:54,404 --> 00:52:57,306 With you, my darling, always. Join us? 829 00:52:57,341 --> 00:52:59,909 Yeah, I could use a little somethin'. In my new book-- 830 00:52:59,943 --> 00:53:03,813 Dad, that's not what we-- So, what's going on here? 831 00:53:03,848 --> 00:53:06,884 Nothing, Mother! Oh, I understand. He's adorable. 832 00:53:06,916 --> 00:53:10,787 What? Why do you think I never had him arrested? 833 00:53:11,889 --> 00:53:13,858 Where the hell is she? 834 00:53:13,891 --> 00:53:17,994 Ooh! Your wife's disappeared. My heart bleeds. 835 00:53:18,028 --> 00:53:20,865 The red-eye is shot. We can't make Kennedy. 836 00:53:20,898 --> 00:53:23,433 For what? 837 00:53:23,467 --> 00:53:28,537 Our honeymoon? We were going to Hawaii. 838 00:53:28,572 --> 00:53:33,077 Does either of you have the slightest recollection that you disrupted my honeymoon? 839 00:53:33,109 --> 00:53:36,380 Hmm? Get out while you can. 840 00:53:36,413 --> 00:53:41,117 My dad warned me not to intermarry with a bunch of Bohemians. 841 00:53:41,150 --> 00:53:43,587 Offered me 50 grand just to call it off. 842 00:53:43,619 --> 00:53:48,124 I am saying that you are not just hurting them, 843 00:53:48,157 --> 00:53:50,060 you are hurting me and Keith. 844 00:53:50,093 --> 00:53:53,262 And for what? Are you going to stay together forever? 845 00:53:53,296 --> 00:53:55,399 Oh, God! Would you stop it? That is so grotesque. 846 00:53:55,431 --> 00:53:59,069 Grotesque? Oh, we don't want to be that. 847 00:53:59,102 --> 00:54:01,638 [ Laughs ] Oh. 848 00:54:01,671 --> 00:54:04,141 What's going to happen when you have a fight, hmm? 849 00:54:04,174 --> 00:54:06,877 You know what you're going to do. I mean-- 850 00:54:06,911 --> 00:54:11,280 I know what you're doing with your feet under there. I don't appreciate it. 851 00:54:11,314 --> 00:54:13,383 Oh, honey, I thought you wanted us to get along. 852 00:54:13,417 --> 00:54:18,388 Hold a civil conversation, yes. Flaunt some perverse affair, no. 853 00:54:18,422 --> 00:54:22,993 Flaunt? Who's flaunting? We haven't been swinging from the chandeliers. 854 00:54:23,027 --> 00:54:24,995 We went through a lot of trouble to disappear. 855 00:54:25,029 --> 00:54:27,263 It's rude of you to dig us up like this. 856 00:54:27,296 --> 00:54:30,134 - They got a point. - Whose side are you on? 857 00:54:30,166 --> 00:54:33,070 - Theirs. - All right. 858 00:54:33,102 --> 00:54:35,039 I mean, what are your plans? 859 00:54:35,072 --> 00:54:37,141 Run away? Become fugitives? 860 00:54:37,173 --> 00:54:40,945 We don't have any plans. If we make them, they might not work out. 861 00:54:40,978 --> 00:54:42,947 Exactly. Oh. 862 00:54:42,980 --> 00:54:46,083 Excuse me for thinking that occasionally... 863 00:54:46,115 --> 00:54:48,885 people should think through insane things before they do them. 864 00:54:48,885 --> 00:54:52,957 But then again, if you had ever done that in your lives, 865 00:54:52,989 --> 00:54:55,491 maybe I wouldn't be illegitimate. 866 00:54:55,525 --> 00:55:01,030 Honey, that was the '70s. That is no excuse. 867 00:55:01,064 --> 00:55:05,034 Alan and Rowena are in shreds. 868 00:55:05,069 --> 00:55:08,037 I don't know how you can do this to them. 869 00:55:08,072 --> 00:55:13,010 These are people you have lived with for 14 years. 870 00:55:13,042 --> 00:55:16,179 Have you no human feeling? 871 00:55:24,054 --> 00:55:26,255 [ Sighs ] 872 00:55:34,464 --> 00:55:38,667 Molly, we know what you're saying is heartfelt, 873 00:55:38,702 --> 00:55:42,472 valid and mature. 874 00:55:42,506 --> 00:55:45,674 And to be honest, 875 00:55:45,709 --> 00:55:48,945 it's making us feel ashamed of ourselves. 876 00:55:48,945 --> 00:55:54,351 But? No buts. 877 00:55:54,383 --> 00:55:59,655 If you'll come upstairs with us now and help us pack, 878 00:55:59,689 --> 00:56:01,691 we'll go home. 879 00:56:01,724 --> 00:56:04,294 Really? 880 00:56:04,328 --> 00:56:07,430 You'll come too? 881 00:56:07,464 --> 00:56:10,666 Yeah, okay. 882 00:56:12,136 --> 00:56:14,571 Listen, you guys, I am very sorry-- 883 00:56:14,603 --> 00:56:17,141 Honey, don't be sorry. 884 00:56:17,173 --> 00:56:20,544 You've always had better morals than we've had. Well, thanks. 885 00:56:20,577 --> 00:56:22,646 We left a ton of stuff in the bathroom. 886 00:56:22,679 --> 00:56:26,150 Why don't you two go scoop that up? We'll be out of here in no time. 887 00:56:26,183 --> 00:56:28,085 We don't want to forget-- Look around. 888 00:56:28,118 --> 00:56:30,554 [ Lilly ] Be careful. 889 00:56:30,587 --> 00:56:35,159 Where's that brown suede jacket that we got? I don't want to forget-- 890 00:56:35,192 --> 00:56:39,663 Oh, here it is. And that little green suit of mine? 891 00:56:39,696 --> 00:56:44,300 I wore it in my last picture. 892 00:56:44,333 --> 00:56:47,037 Hurry up. 893 00:56:47,071 --> 00:56:50,339 Okay, okay. Ow! 894 00:56:50,374 --> 00:56:53,809 Mom, there's hardly anything in here-- 895 00:56:53,843 --> 00:56:57,481 [ Both Laughing ] 896 00:56:57,514 --> 00:57:00,649 Mother! 897 00:57:00,683 --> 00:57:03,152 Mom! 898 00:57:04,787 --> 00:57:07,691 [ Doorknob Rattling ] 899 00:57:07,723 --> 00:57:11,195 Oh, they are good. 900 00:57:11,227 --> 00:57:13,729 Can ya-- 901 00:57:16,833 --> 00:57:21,205 So what's the problem? It's jammed. 902 00:57:21,238 --> 00:57:24,174 Oh! Oh! Okay. 903 00:57:24,208 --> 00:57:26,610 [ Panting ] 904 00:57:27,611 --> 00:57:30,279 Where's the phone? 905 00:57:31,615 --> 00:57:34,084 There has to be ano-- There was. 906 00:57:35,719 --> 00:57:37,721 We've been had, baby. 907 00:57:37,754 --> 00:57:40,190 Well, that's just great. 908 00:57:40,224 --> 00:57:43,459 That is great. It's like I'm eight years old, 909 00:57:43,492 --> 00:57:46,596 and I'm locked in my room with a time-out. 910 00:57:46,630 --> 00:57:48,732 Well, you did threaten them. 911 00:57:50,466 --> 00:57:52,702 Someone's going to come up here, aren't they? 912 00:57:52,735 --> 00:57:56,805 Hi. We don't wish to be disturbed for the rest of the evening. 913 00:57:56,840 --> 00:57:59,476 We don't want a single soul to set foot on the floor. 914 00:57:59,508 --> 00:58:02,646 We don't want maid service. We don't want the weather report. 915 00:58:02,678 --> 00:58:06,150 We don't want those little pieces of chocolate that you put on the bed. 916 00:58:06,183 --> 00:58:09,352 You understand. I understand perfectly. 917 00:58:09,386 --> 00:58:11,621 I thought you would. 918 00:58:13,323 --> 00:58:16,260 [ Snickers ] Wow. Flaunt that testosterone. 919 00:58:16,292 --> 00:58:18,262 Molly! 920 00:58:18,294 --> 00:58:20,264 Hello! 921 00:58:20,296 --> 00:58:23,200 Molly? Can't they hear us? Hello! 922 00:58:23,233 --> 00:58:25,602 Forget it! It's a prewar building. 923 00:58:25,635 --> 00:58:27,771 It's a bomb shelter. [ Pounding Continues ] Hello! 924 00:58:27,804 --> 00:58:30,539 I can't stay here. Where ya gonna go? 925 00:58:30,573 --> 00:58:35,145 Keith has no idea where I am. I just can't no-show my honeymoon. 926 00:58:35,179 --> 00:58:39,348 Molly, chill out. He's gonna think I am insane, just like the rest of my family. 927 00:58:39,383 --> 00:58:41,917 He's gonna think I'm one of them. He'll deal with it. 928 00:58:41,950 --> 00:58:45,722 Do you know how lucky I am that someone normal wanted to marry me? 929 00:58:45,755 --> 00:58:49,125 And now I've just totally blown it. 930 00:58:49,125 --> 00:58:53,463 People are gonna say, "Have you ever been married?" I gonna say, "Yeah. 931 00:58:53,497 --> 00:58:56,633 For 24 hours!" 932 00:58:58,901 --> 00:59:02,238 Uh, uh, look, just, uh-- 933 00:59:02,271 --> 00:59:04,740 Just take it easy, all right? 934 00:59:04,773 --> 00:59:08,844 I'm gonna get us outta here, all right? How? 935 00:59:28,365 --> 00:59:30,399 Come on. 936 00:59:34,537 --> 00:59:37,540 What are you doing? Watch this. 937 00:59:42,446 --> 00:59:46,615 Hey, up here, you! Come on! Ha! 938 00:59:46,649 --> 00:59:48,818 ♪ There she goes 939 00:59:48,852 --> 00:59:52,889 Ooh! Ooh! Cops! 940 00:59:52,922 --> 00:59:54,324 They hate this. 941 00:59:54,357 --> 00:59:56,760 Piss 'em off. They'll come up here. 942 00:59:56,792 --> 00:59:59,362 That's very clever. 943 00:59:59,395 --> 01:00:03,632 [ Joey Shouting ] Hey! Up here! 944 01:00:03,667 --> 01:00:06,236 Some kids are chuckin' fruit. Yeah. 945 01:00:06,270 --> 01:00:08,004 Whoo! Hey! 946 01:00:08,036 --> 01:00:12,742 You used to do that? Oh, yeah. [ Chuckles ] 947 01:00:12,776 --> 01:00:16,479 I once threw a water balloon at a priest. [ Laughs ] 948 01:00:16,513 --> 01:00:19,548 Hey, wait! Where ya goin'? We're throwin' fruit up here! 949 01:00:19,583 --> 01:00:23,487 What is this? The only two guys in the whole city that aren't jerks. 950 01:00:23,519 --> 01:00:28,591 Hey! Where are you goin'? ♪ There she goes 951 01:00:28,624 --> 01:00:31,361 - ♪ There she goes again - Oh, my God. 952 01:00:31,395 --> 01:00:35,598 All right, Molly. Let 'er rip. You'll feel better. 953 01:00:35,631 --> 01:00:38,335 There you go! 954 01:00:38,368 --> 01:00:39,903 - Oh! God! - [ Squeals ] 955 01:00:39,936 --> 01:00:43,606 ♪ But I just can't contain 956 01:00:43,639 --> 01:00:47,444 ♪ This feeling that remains 957 01:00:47,476 --> 01:00:51,481 ♪ There she goes 958 01:00:51,514 --> 01:00:53,916 - ♪ There she goes - Go! 959 01:00:53,950 --> 01:00:56,653 Whoo! 960 01:00:56,685 --> 01:00:59,788 ♪ There she goes 961 01:01:01,325 --> 01:01:02,559 There you go. 962 01:01:02,592 --> 01:01:04,927 Oh, God! That was good! 963 01:01:12,001 --> 01:01:14,403 So what'll he do to you? 964 01:01:14,438 --> 01:01:17,473 Well, he'll want to talk about it. 965 01:01:17,507 --> 01:01:19,708 Talk? That's it? Just talk? 966 01:01:19,742 --> 01:01:23,646 Days and nights of talking. Marathon talking. [ Chuckles ] 967 01:01:23,679 --> 01:01:25,815 About how and why we can build from a new foundation. 968 01:01:25,849 --> 01:01:29,453 I'll probably go off my nut. Hey, you two. 969 01:01:29,486 --> 01:01:33,557 Oh, it's been some years, all right. Where ya been? 970 01:01:35,559 --> 01:01:39,695 [ Chuckles ] It's good to see the two of you together. 971 01:01:39,728 --> 01:01:42,499 I didn't think you were gonna make it. 972 01:01:42,531 --> 01:01:47,471 I guess we did cause a few scenes around here. 973 01:01:47,504 --> 01:01:49,305 Yeah, you cleared the place out pretty good. 974 01:01:49,305 --> 01:01:53,909 How long you been married now? 975 01:01:54,910 --> 01:01:58,347 It would have-- [ Whispers ] 25 years. 976 01:01:58,382 --> 01:02:01,750 Twenty-five glorious years. 977 01:02:01,785 --> 01:02:03,887 Well, good for you. 978 01:02:03,919 --> 01:02:07,723 Most people just don't want to put in the work, do they? 979 01:02:07,756 --> 01:02:11,026 Is that all it takes? 980 01:02:11,060 --> 01:02:13,129 Anyway, happy 25th. 981 01:02:13,161 --> 01:02:16,965 You know, I believe this is your song. 982 01:02:17,000 --> 01:02:21,538 ♪ [ Slow Tempo ] 983 01:02:21,570 --> 01:02:24,974 [ Lilly ] ♪ I used to walk with you 984 01:02:25,008 --> 01:02:27,911 ♪ Along the avenue 985 01:02:27,944 --> 01:02:33,682 ♪ Our hearts were carefree and gay ♪ 986 01:02:33,716 --> 01:02:39,122 ♪ How could I know I'd lose you ♪ 987 01:02:40,056 --> 01:02:44,528 ♪ Somewhere along the way 988 01:02:48,031 --> 01:02:51,501 ♪ The friends we used to know ♪ 989 01:02:51,534 --> 01:02:54,904 ♪ Would always smile hello 990 01:02:54,938 --> 01:03:01,445 ♪ No love like our love they'd say ♪ 991 01:03:01,477 --> 01:03:07,816 ♪ Then love slipped through our fingers ♪ 992 01:03:08,717 --> 01:03:13,923 ♪ Somewhere along the way ♪ 993 01:03:13,957 --> 01:03:17,593 ♪ I should forget 994 01:03:17,627 --> 01:03:21,431 ♪ But with the loneliness of night ♪ 995 01:03:21,465 --> 01:03:25,068 ♪ I start remembering 996 01:03:25,101 --> 01:03:28,203 ♪ Everything 997 01:03:28,236 --> 01:03:31,908 ♪ You're gone and yet 998 01:03:31,941 --> 01:03:34,743 ♪ There's still a feeling ♪ 999 01:03:34,777 --> 01:03:40,450 ♪ Deep inside that you will always be ♪ 1000 01:03:40,484 --> 01:03:44,820 ♪ Part of me 1001 01:03:44,853 --> 01:03:49,425 ♪ So now I look for you 1002 01:03:49,425 --> 01:03:52,961 ♪ Along the avenue 1003 01:03:52,996 --> 01:03:59,669 ♪ And as I wander I pray 1004 01:03:59,702 --> 01:04:06,676 ♪ That someday soon I'll find you ♪ 1005 01:04:06,709 --> 01:04:11,515 ♪ Somewhere along the way ♪ 1006 01:04:15,018 --> 01:04:18,654 ♪ Somewhere along 1007 01:04:18,688 --> 01:04:24,728 ♪ The way 1008 01:04:26,630 --> 01:04:28,732 [ Scattered Applause ] [ Sighs ] 1009 01:04:28,764 --> 01:04:31,199 Yeah. 1010 01:04:31,234 --> 01:04:36,540 [ Alan ] And this is from someone that you expect to be a mature person. 1011 01:04:36,573 --> 01:04:40,143 It's unforgivable. That's all. 1012 01:04:40,176 --> 01:04:45,248 Thanks for seeing me home. At least someone's a gentleman. 1013 01:04:45,280 --> 01:04:49,252 Am I? [ Sighs ] One of the last. 1014 01:04:49,284 --> 01:04:53,922 Then why am I being treated so contemptuously? 1015 01:04:53,956 --> 01:04:57,060 It's 3:00 in the morning. She can't pick up a phone? 1016 01:04:57,092 --> 01:04:58,795 Have another drink. 1017 01:04:58,828 --> 01:05:00,529 No. No, I-- 1018 01:05:00,564 --> 01:05:04,132 - Come on! - What the hell? 1019 01:05:04,166 --> 01:05:08,971 I'm beginning to understand how you feel. 1020 01:05:09,005 --> 01:05:11,707 Oh, you can't. 1021 01:05:13,242 --> 01:05:16,179 You can't possibly imagine... 1022 01:05:16,211 --> 01:05:20,684 what it's like to be somebody's ex-wife in this town. 1023 01:05:20,716 --> 01:05:26,590 Even if it comes to that, which it won't, Rowena, you're successful. 1024 01:05:28,256 --> 01:05:32,327 You invented the Greek Revival look. You're in demand. 1025 01:05:32,360 --> 01:05:37,734 They're probably ripping my card out of every Rolodex as we speak. 1026 01:05:37,766 --> 01:05:40,936 Rowena, that's ludicrous. 1027 01:05:40,969 --> 01:05:45,609 You are one of the most beautiful women... 1028 01:05:45,642 --> 01:05:47,976 that I've ever seen. 1029 01:05:48,010 --> 01:05:51,147 You think so? 1030 01:05:51,180 --> 01:05:55,251 Mmm. Yes. [ Thunder Rumbling ] 1031 01:05:55,283 --> 01:05:58,721 [ Thunder Continues ] 1032 01:06:07,296 --> 01:06:12,669 Uh, your weddin' rings. Left them on the sink. 1033 01:06:12,701 --> 01:06:16,305 Thank you. 1034 01:06:16,338 --> 01:06:20,744 Hey, don't worry. Your parents aren't going to leave us up here forever. 1035 01:06:20,776 --> 01:06:25,214 Hey, you want some water? Yeah. 1036 01:06:25,248 --> 01:06:28,984 I'm sure they'll spring us by morning, you know. 1037 01:06:29,017 --> 01:06:31,855 Thanks. 1038 01:06:31,887 --> 01:06:34,890 No bubbles or nothin', but-- 1039 01:06:37,260 --> 01:06:41,164 How do you know I like bubbles? 1040 01:06:44,833 --> 01:06:48,738 I could tell you, but I think you'd get mad. 1041 01:06:48,772 --> 01:06:51,240 At this point, I really doubt it. 1042 01:06:55,311 --> 01:06:59,648 Okay. That night your mom took you out to dinner on your 21st? 1043 01:07:01,316 --> 01:07:04,887 I was on the ledge. 1044 01:07:04,921 --> 01:07:07,956 How? We were four stories up. 1045 01:07:07,991 --> 01:07:10,325 You don't believe me? 1046 01:07:10,359 --> 01:07:14,396 Okay. You were wearin' this, um, 1047 01:07:14,430 --> 01:07:19,034 this white clingy dress thing with a... 1048 01:07:19,067 --> 01:07:21,970 low cut-- 1049 01:07:22,004 --> 01:07:24,808 Yeah, you look really good in that. 1050 01:07:24,841 --> 01:07:26,910 How come you don't wear that now? 1051 01:07:26,942 --> 01:07:30,946 If you really want to know, it's because I need to lose a couple of pounds. 1052 01:07:30,979 --> 01:07:34,818 - What? - I do. Keith says I do. 1053 01:07:34,851 --> 01:07:38,154 - He's crazy. - No, no. He's right. 1054 01:07:38,187 --> 01:07:40,724 No, he's wrong. You're perfect. 1055 01:07:47,263 --> 01:07:52,067 [ Thunder Rumbling ] Can I ask you something? 1056 01:07:52,100 --> 01:07:55,137 Yeah. Sure. 1057 01:07:55,171 --> 01:07:58,874 Don't you feel guilty-- I mean, when you take those pictures of people-- 1058 01:07:58,908 --> 01:08:02,444 Don't you feel like you're stealing someone's private moment? 1059 01:08:02,478 --> 01:08:07,784 Nah. I love what I do. 1060 01:08:07,816 --> 01:08:10,754 My dad and my brothers, 1061 01:08:10,787 --> 01:08:13,790 they pack meat for a living. 1062 01:08:13,822 --> 01:08:18,762 Nobody ever thought I was gonna make it in show business, you know? 1063 01:08:18,795 --> 01:08:20,496 They all think I'm nuts. 1064 01:08:20,528 --> 01:08:26,235 But, uh, I'm gonna open up my own studio. 1065 01:08:26,269 --> 01:08:29,338 I don't know when, but, uh-- 1066 01:08:29,372 --> 01:08:32,742 I'm gonna do celebrity portraits, you know? 1067 01:08:32,776 --> 01:08:35,944 Not like now. I mean, they're gonna let me. 1068 01:08:38,146 --> 01:08:40,784 Hmm. 1069 01:08:40,817 --> 01:08:43,118 I hope it happens for you. 1070 01:08:45,855 --> 01:08:47,956 Yeah, me too. 1071 01:08:50,827 --> 01:08:54,764 Well, good night, Joey. 1072 01:08:56,499 --> 01:09:00,769 Yeah, good night. 1073 01:09:26,029 --> 01:09:30,266 Oh, God. What are you doing here? 1074 01:09:30,299 --> 01:09:33,870 Don't tell me you don't remember. Oh. 1075 01:09:33,903 --> 01:09:36,372 I certainly wish I didn't. 1076 01:09:36,405 --> 01:09:38,975 You got what you wanted. 1077 01:09:39,007 --> 01:09:43,145 How dare you. You're the one who lunged. 1078 01:09:43,178 --> 01:09:46,983 You started it. You smoldered. 1079 01:09:47,015 --> 01:09:49,785 That was the last enthusiasm you showed for anything, I might add. 1080 01:09:49,785 --> 01:09:52,989 I was hardly inspired. 1081 01:09:53,022 --> 01:09:57,193 I told you. I have to be on the bottom. I have a bad back. 1082 01:09:57,225 --> 01:09:59,494 Among other things. 1083 01:09:59,528 --> 01:10:03,231 All right, just stop this. 1084 01:10:03,266 --> 01:10:06,134 Stop this right now. Look. 1085 01:10:06,169 --> 01:10:09,372 I don't care what you think or what I think. 1086 01:10:09,405 --> 01:10:15,143 This didn't happen! I am a newlywed. 1087 01:10:15,178 --> 01:10:18,580 She's certainly in for a treat. 1088 01:10:25,421 --> 01:10:27,356 [ Knocking ] [ Lilly ] Housekeeping. 1089 01:10:27,390 --> 01:10:30,960 [ Knocking Continues ] Uh, yeah. 1090 01:10:30,994 --> 01:10:33,029 Come in! Come in! 1091 01:10:35,965 --> 01:10:38,101 Good morning! 1092 01:10:38,133 --> 01:10:40,403 Good mornin'. 1093 01:10:40,436 --> 01:10:44,139 Well, I see nobody got lucky. 1094 01:10:45,942 --> 01:10:51,147 All right, honey. What we did wasn't very nice. I admit it. 1095 01:10:51,179 --> 01:10:53,549 But there was a reason. 1096 01:10:53,582 --> 01:10:57,519 Your father and I just wanted one more night. That's all. 1097 01:10:57,553 --> 01:11:00,889 Just one more night without people bursting in on us... 1098 01:11:00,924 --> 01:11:04,459 and screaming and yelling and threatening suicide. 1099 01:11:04,492 --> 01:11:06,561 It made us so happy. 1100 01:11:06,595 --> 01:11:09,532 It was the happiest I've been since it was okay to take drugs. 1101 01:11:09,564 --> 01:11:11,935 If you print that, I'll kill ya. 1102 01:11:13,536 --> 01:11:18,241 Anyway, you'll be thrilled to know that... 1103 01:11:18,273 --> 01:11:20,409 I'm ready to go home. 1104 01:11:22,378 --> 01:11:24,612 Really. 1105 01:11:27,050 --> 01:11:29,617 Can I have the phone, please? 1106 01:11:29,652 --> 01:11:32,922 You gonna forgive me? 1107 01:11:32,956 --> 01:11:35,424 Never, as long as I live. 1108 01:11:35,458 --> 01:11:39,662 Well, at least you're honest. 1109 01:11:39,694 --> 01:11:43,532 She gets that from me, you know. I know. 1110 01:11:43,566 --> 01:11:46,201 [ Door Closes ] [ Dog Yipping ] 1111 01:11:46,234 --> 01:11:49,505 Where have you been all night? 1112 01:11:49,538 --> 01:11:53,609 Walking. Then why aren't you wet? 1113 01:11:53,642 --> 01:11:55,710 It's been raining all night, and you're dry. 1114 01:11:55,744 --> 01:11:58,580 What are you, my wife? [ Phone Ringing ] 1115 01:11:58,613 --> 01:12:00,548 Hello? 1116 01:12:00,582 --> 01:12:02,151 Keith, it's Molly. 1117 01:12:02,184 --> 01:12:05,353 Well, finally! Oh, thank God! 1118 01:12:05,388 --> 01:12:07,055 It's Mommy! [ Growling ] 1119 01:12:07,090 --> 01:12:11,027 One would have thought you might have had the courtesy to locate and pick up a phone. 1120 01:12:11,059 --> 01:12:15,063 Well, it wasn't really my fault. 1121 01:12:15,098 --> 01:12:18,101 Hello, Keith? It's my fault. 1122 01:12:18,133 --> 01:12:20,436 I imprisoned her in a room overnight. 1123 01:12:20,469 --> 01:12:22,471 Tell her-- I don't believe that. 1124 01:12:22,505 --> 01:12:24,974 He doesn't believe me. 1125 01:12:25,008 --> 01:12:28,211 It's fine. [ Sighs ] 1126 01:12:28,243 --> 01:12:33,983 Keith, it's a really long story. Tell Alan I'm bringing Mom home now. 1127 01:12:34,017 --> 01:12:37,453 This is an incredibly unacceptable beginning. 1128 01:12:37,486 --> 01:12:42,290 When you come, I believe I'm entitled to a very detailed explanation. 1129 01:12:42,324 --> 01:12:46,029 [ Phone Clicks, Dial Tone Hums ] 1130 01:12:46,062 --> 01:12:49,965 [ Sighs ] He was so cold. 1131 01:12:49,965 --> 01:12:54,103 I've never heard him like that. 1132 01:12:54,136 --> 01:12:57,606 If that's how he is on day two, you might want to bail. 1133 01:12:57,639 --> 01:13:00,642 Mom, I don't want to hear about it. 1134 01:13:00,675 --> 01:13:05,680 Let's just go, all right? I'm-- I'm ready. 1135 01:13:05,714 --> 01:13:08,517 Oh, honey, you don't have to take your mother's advice, 1136 01:13:08,551 --> 01:13:13,022 but I wouldn't go back to my angry husband looking like that. 1137 01:13:13,056 --> 01:13:15,158 Mom had better lend you a dress. 1138 01:13:15,190 --> 01:13:17,392 Let's see. What do we have in our magic box today? 1139 01:13:17,425 --> 01:13:19,295 No, that's for me. 1140 01:13:19,327 --> 01:13:22,165 I feel completely ridiculous. Who wears this color? 1141 01:13:22,198 --> 01:13:25,467 I wear that color. It's too sexual for midday. 1142 01:13:25,501 --> 01:13:27,570 Come on, honey. You look great. 1143 01:13:27,603 --> 01:13:29,737 Yeah, you look, uh, nice. 1144 01:13:33,209 --> 01:13:35,243 Mother, don't. 1145 01:13:39,747 --> 01:13:42,585 I just have to say good-bye. 1146 01:13:42,618 --> 01:13:44,687 Mother! 1147 01:13:50,025 --> 01:13:52,595 Well-- This was-- 1148 01:13:52,628 --> 01:13:54,597 Oh, it was. 1149 01:13:54,629 --> 01:13:57,300 I'm glad we-- Oh, me too. 1150 01:13:57,332 --> 01:14:01,504 I think it definitely served its purpose. 1151 01:14:13,881 --> 01:14:18,520 No. No, no-- Oh! Oh! 1152 01:14:18,554 --> 01:14:20,455 Okay! 1153 01:14:20,488 --> 01:14:24,392 Oh, Lilly. I can't go back. I can't either. 1154 01:14:24,426 --> 01:14:26,729 I mean ever. I never meant to leave you. 1155 01:14:26,762 --> 01:14:31,134 I still love you, Lilly. I never loved anybody else in my whole life. 1156 01:14:31,167 --> 01:14:34,203 Come here, baby. 1157 01:14:39,407 --> 01:14:41,677 God. 1158 01:14:43,646 --> 01:14:45,648 Ah, ya chump. 1159 01:14:45,681 --> 01:14:49,718 ♪ [ Conga ] 1160 01:14:57,325 --> 01:14:59,662 ♪ Baila conmigo 1161 01:15:01,696 --> 01:15:04,400 ♪ Baila conmigo 1162 01:15:06,469 --> 01:15:11,306 ♪ Baila al son de mis cimbales 1163 01:15:11,340 --> 01:15:15,577 ♪ Baila al son de la conga 1164 01:15:15,611 --> 01:15:18,614 Look at them. 1165 01:15:18,647 --> 01:15:23,585 [ Molly ] Just crashing those people's wedding. 1166 01:15:23,619 --> 01:15:26,722 [ Joey ] They don't seem to mind. 1167 01:15:26,755 --> 01:15:30,525 You know, it kind of reminds me of your weddin'. 1168 01:15:31,760 --> 01:15:35,231 ♪ Baila conmigo 1169 01:15:36,632 --> 01:15:40,303 ♪ Baila conmigo Givin' up, huh? 1170 01:15:40,336 --> 01:15:43,772 Yeah. Yeah, I'm givin' up. 1171 01:15:43,806 --> 01:15:47,710 So, uh, you want me to give you a ride somewhere? 1172 01:15:47,743 --> 01:15:50,145 No. Thanks. 1173 01:15:50,145 --> 01:15:52,814 I'm just not ready. 1174 01:15:54,582 --> 01:15:57,252 Keith? 1175 01:15:57,286 --> 01:16:00,656 I can't face him. I-- 1176 01:16:01,990 --> 01:16:07,230 He's already furious at me, and now he'll be more furious. 1177 01:16:07,263 --> 01:16:11,200 I failed. I won't bring him back, 1178 01:16:11,234 --> 01:16:15,338 and he won't get elected, and it'll be my fault. 1179 01:16:18,474 --> 01:16:21,910 Uh, miss? Yeah. Uh, we need a drink here. 1180 01:16:21,943 --> 01:16:24,380 ♪ [ Stops ] [ Applause ] Miss? 1181 01:16:24,412 --> 01:16:26,581 What's her problem? 1182 01:16:26,614 --> 01:16:29,484 That happens to me a lot. 1183 01:16:29,517 --> 01:16:33,521 It does, huh? Yeah. Where is that-- 1184 01:16:33,555 --> 01:16:37,226 ♪ [ Guitar, Orchestra: Slow Tempo ] 1185 01:16:39,994 --> 01:16:43,332 Stand up. Why? 1186 01:16:43,366 --> 01:16:45,533 Take that off. Come on. 1187 01:16:45,567 --> 01:16:49,437 Come on. Just take it off. Put my dad's on. How ya doin'? 1188 01:16:49,472 --> 01:16:51,907 [ Sighs ] Okay. 1189 01:16:51,940 --> 01:16:54,209 I look like an idiot. 1190 01:16:58,781 --> 01:17:02,917 Do you mind if I say something? Yeah. A lot. 1191 01:17:02,951 --> 01:17:06,955 I think a little change in your appearance might help your problem with women. 1192 01:17:06,988 --> 01:17:10,425 What problem with women? 1193 01:17:10,459 --> 01:17:13,995 Shut up. Okay. 1194 01:17:17,865 --> 01:17:20,001 [ Clears Throat ] 1195 01:17:20,035 --> 01:17:22,704 [ Chuckles ] 1196 01:17:22,738 --> 01:17:25,607 Just wait. Come on. 1197 01:17:25,640 --> 01:17:29,878 Aw, for cryin' out loud. 1198 01:17:36,352 --> 01:17:40,655 Just... wait. Just wait. 1199 01:17:48,531 --> 01:17:50,265 It's not bad. 1200 01:17:50,265 --> 01:17:53,535 Yeah? 1201 01:17:54,803 --> 01:17:58,306 Yeah. [ Clears Throat ] Yeah. 1202 01:17:58,341 --> 01:18:00,375 ♪ [ Ends ] Okay. 1203 01:18:00,408 --> 01:18:02,544 Here she comes. 1204 01:18:02,578 --> 01:18:07,482 Try it again. Just smile. Don't leer. [ Applause ] 1205 01:18:07,516 --> 01:18:09,952 ♪ [ Conga: Lively ] Miss? 1206 01:18:09,984 --> 01:18:15,490 Yes, sir? Uh, vodka grapefruit for the lady. 1207 01:18:15,524 --> 01:18:19,927 Sure. I'm not even gonna ask how you knew that. 1208 01:18:19,962 --> 01:18:22,398 Did you see that? 1209 01:18:22,431 --> 01:18:25,934 I bet if I went to a restaurant right now, they would seat me. 1210 01:18:25,968 --> 01:18:28,904 Have you been helped, sir? 1211 01:18:28,937 --> 01:18:32,508 Uh, yes, I have. Thank you. 1212 01:18:32,540 --> 01:18:34,642 Wow! 1213 01:18:34,676 --> 01:18:38,013 I could get used to this. Whew. 1214 01:18:38,045 --> 01:18:41,350 Whoo! Ooh! 1215 01:18:41,384 --> 01:18:43,551 Oh! 1216 01:18:44,887 --> 01:18:47,923 [ Laughs ] 1217 01:18:47,956 --> 01:18:52,093 [ Man ] Yeah, yeah, yeah! ♪ Hup, hup, ooh 1218 01:18:52,127 --> 01:18:55,030 There they are. Over there. 1219 01:18:57,565 --> 01:18:59,467 [ Laughing ] Ooh! 1220 01:18:59,501 --> 01:19:02,470 Enjoying yourself, Mother? Ooh, I'm having a ball! 1221 01:19:02,504 --> 01:19:04,907 Look at you! You cleaned up nice. 1222 01:19:04,939 --> 01:19:06,909 Come on, paparazzi. Let's see what you got. 1223 01:19:06,942 --> 01:19:09,445 You wanna dance with me? Sure. Can ya? 1224 01:19:09,477 --> 01:19:11,079 Yeah, I can hold my own. 1225 01:19:11,112 --> 01:19:15,518 Prove it! Easy on the jacket, cockroach. 1226 01:19:15,550 --> 01:19:18,421 Yes, sir. Okay. 1227 01:19:18,454 --> 01:19:22,357 ♪ Cantero, canamero 1228 01:19:29,664 --> 01:19:31,599 ♪ Uh 1229 01:19:31,634 --> 01:19:35,037 Molly? ♪ Uh 1230 01:19:35,070 --> 01:19:37,705 Come on, Dad. This is so embarrassing. 1231 01:19:37,739 --> 01:19:39,642 Bad mood, huh? 1232 01:19:39,674 --> 01:19:41,910 I don't want to talk about it. Okay. Let's dance. 1233 01:19:41,944 --> 01:19:44,779 No, Dad, please. I have so many things on my mind. 1234 01:19:44,812 --> 01:19:48,783 Molly, honey, look, I think I've been pretty good about this whole Keith thing. 1235 01:19:48,816 --> 01:19:51,954 I'm not going to lecture you about love, commitment and marriage, 1236 01:19:51,987 --> 01:19:54,055 because I've blown every one of them. 1237 01:19:54,089 --> 01:19:58,660 Don't you want to have some fun? Did you ever think about that? 1238 01:19:58,694 --> 01:20:01,162 Are you gonna have fun on the campaign trail with him, 1239 01:20:01,196 --> 01:20:05,567 smiling at some sewage plant opening or going to a $1,000-a-plate dinner... 1240 01:20:05,600 --> 01:20:08,504 where the wives are wallpaper? 1241 01:20:08,536 --> 01:20:12,508 I just want you to have fun for five minutes before you settle for that. 1242 01:20:12,540 --> 01:20:15,978 And I want you to dance with the old man. 1243 01:20:16,011 --> 01:20:19,582 Come on. You know you can't resist it. Oh. 1244 01:20:19,614 --> 01:20:21,917 You know what I'm gonna give ya? Uh-huh. 1245 01:20:21,950 --> 01:20:23,919 I'm gonna give ya-- ♪ Ya-ta-ta-ta-ta Right. 1246 01:20:23,952 --> 01:20:26,088 ♪ Make that turn and let's go ♪ 1247 01:20:48,577 --> 01:20:54,549 I told you, Rowena. They're at the Majestic. Molly said she's bringing them back. 1248 01:20:54,583 --> 01:20:58,653 I don't know when. Imminently. 1249 01:20:58,687 --> 01:21:03,258 She is not a lying slut! And you should talk-- 1250 01:21:03,291 --> 01:21:07,262 I believe they'll be back momentarily. Yes, I do. 1251 01:21:07,294 --> 01:21:10,699 Yes-- I don't need to listen to this! 1252 01:21:10,732 --> 01:21:14,669 There's no talking to her! What is it with you two? 1253 01:21:14,703 --> 01:21:19,508 You're worse than my patients. 1254 01:21:19,542 --> 01:21:22,777 They're not coming. All right. 1255 01:21:22,810 --> 01:21:24,747 All righty! 1256 01:21:24,779 --> 01:21:27,149 We're going. We're all going. 1257 01:21:27,182 --> 01:21:30,952 We're gonna round 'em up and lasso 'em and drag 'em back here like cattle. 1258 01:21:30,986 --> 01:21:33,155 Is that what you want? Yeah! 1259 01:21:34,822 --> 01:21:36,958 ♪ Gente del fuego 1260 01:21:38,561 --> 01:21:41,630 ♪ Gente del fuego 1261 01:21:41,664 --> 01:21:45,133 Whoo! ♪ Gente del fuego 1262 01:21:45,167 --> 01:21:47,234 Sorry! 1263 01:21:48,736 --> 01:21:52,273 [ Chattering ] ♪ Gente del fuego 1264 01:21:53,709 --> 01:21:56,044 ♪ Gente del fuego 1265 01:21:57,212 --> 01:21:59,714 ♪ Gente del fuego 1266 01:22:10,826 --> 01:22:13,861 [ Man ] Ya-hoo! Hoo! Hoo! 1267 01:22:13,896 --> 01:22:16,998 ♪ [ Slow Tempo ] 1268 01:22:21,704 --> 01:22:26,340 [ Man ] ♪ River of days Should we, uh-- 1269 01:22:26,373 --> 01:22:29,578 ♪ Ocean of night Yeah. 1270 01:22:30,978 --> 01:22:35,584 ♪ We drift away 1271 01:22:35,618 --> 01:22:41,355 ♪ All of our lives 1272 01:22:41,388 --> 01:22:45,694 ♪ Years I sailed 1273 01:22:45,728 --> 01:22:49,964 ♪ Many miles from shore 1274 01:22:49,997 --> 01:22:52,768 ♪ Until I looked 1275 01:22:52,801 --> 01:22:56,271 Ooh. Where'd you learn this? From a girl. 1276 01:22:56,303 --> 01:23:02,176 Oh? All right. My sister. 1277 01:23:02,209 --> 01:23:05,713 Look, uh, big surprise. 1278 01:23:05,747 --> 01:23:10,318 I mean, women never really went for me all that much. 1279 01:23:10,351 --> 01:23:15,022 Maybe it's your chosen profession. Nah. 1280 01:23:15,056 --> 01:23:18,926 I think it's the things I say and do. [ Laughs ] 1281 01:23:18,961 --> 01:23:22,865 Well, they're all lookin' at ya now. 1282 01:23:22,897 --> 01:23:26,168 You could have any girl in this place you want. 1283 01:23:26,201 --> 01:23:29,937 No, I can't. Yeah, ya can. 1284 01:23:32,240 --> 01:23:35,243 No. I can't. 1285 01:23:38,113 --> 01:23:41,316 Oh. Joey. 1286 01:23:41,348 --> 01:23:43,686 Look, I know. I'm not stupid. 1287 01:23:43,719 --> 01:23:46,755 It is not because I don't think you're-- 1288 01:23:46,789 --> 01:23:49,924 I mean, you really are very, very-- 1289 01:23:49,957 --> 01:23:53,361 Yeah, thanks. You don't have to-- I do. 1290 01:23:53,394 --> 01:23:58,701 It's-- It's just, uh-- I'm married. 1291 01:23:58,733 --> 01:24:01,302 It's definitely a problem. 1292 01:24:01,335 --> 01:24:03,706 I mean, even if I wasn't, Joey, I-- 1293 01:24:03,738 --> 01:24:06,742 Our styles are like-- Completely. 1294 01:24:06,774 --> 01:24:08,711 Wrong. 1295 01:24:08,744 --> 01:24:12,413 We'd drive each other just-- 1296 01:24:12,447 --> 01:24:16,117 Loony Tunes? 1297 01:24:16,151 --> 01:24:20,087 It would never work. It'd never work. 1298 01:24:20,121 --> 01:24:24,760 ♪ And go free 1299 01:24:24,793 --> 01:24:30,799 ♪ One shining moment 1300 01:24:30,833 --> 01:24:36,003 ♪ The instant I looked at your face ♪ 1301 01:24:36,037 --> 01:24:39,808 ♪ For one shining moment 1302 01:24:39,842 --> 01:24:44,713 ♪ For a lifetime along the way ♪ 1303 01:24:44,747 --> 01:24:47,081 Oh, my goodness. Huh? 1304 01:24:47,114 --> 01:24:49,116 What do you call that? Oh. 1305 01:24:49,150 --> 01:24:52,320 ♪ One shining moment 1306 01:24:52,354 --> 01:24:56,725 The two-day itch? 1307 01:24:56,759 --> 01:25:01,764 As long as she's distracted, why don't we take this as our cue? 1308 01:25:01,796 --> 01:25:03,831 To run away? Yeah. 1309 01:25:03,865 --> 01:25:07,002 We can't just ride into the sunset. Where would we live? 1310 01:25:07,034 --> 01:25:09,805 Venice, Newark. I don't care. 1311 01:25:09,837 --> 01:25:12,875 Don't you think we should at least say something to our spouses? 1312 01:25:12,907 --> 01:25:15,109 Why? We've come this far. 1313 01:25:15,142 --> 01:25:19,113 You want to be just totally irresponsible? Totally. 1314 01:25:19,146 --> 01:25:24,118 Unless you don't want-- No, no, no, I just thought-- 1315 01:25:24,151 --> 01:25:28,857 I was just thinking that maybe we do sort of owe them something. 1316 01:25:28,891 --> 01:25:32,260 You mean you owe Rowena something? No, no, sweetness. 1317 01:25:32,294 --> 01:25:36,865 I would never say anything like that. Good. 1318 01:25:36,899 --> 01:25:42,069 But it does seem like the gentlemanly thing to do to tell her it's over after 14 years. 1319 01:25:42,103 --> 01:25:46,508 Why? You were with me 12. You went straight to Fiji with her and never came back. 1320 01:25:46,540 --> 01:25:49,945 That was after I found Alan luxuriating in my bathrobe. 1321 01:25:49,977 --> 01:25:51,914 I beg your pardon. 1322 01:25:51,946 --> 01:25:55,049 It was after I found one of Rowena's bright red hairs in my bed! 1323 01:25:55,083 --> 01:25:59,420 The bitch sheds like a sheepdog. Lilly. Lilly. 1324 01:25:59,453 --> 01:26:02,523 I know. Okay. 1325 01:26:05,026 --> 01:26:09,131 [ Sighs ] But you could have left me a friggin' note. 1326 01:26:09,163 --> 01:26:14,136 Goddamn it, Lillian. All right. I'm sorry. 1327 01:26:14,168 --> 01:26:17,272 I think this is a subject best left alone forever. 1328 01:26:17,305 --> 01:26:20,508 Spoken like the guilty party. Here we go, huh? 1329 01:26:20,541 --> 01:26:22,577 Never mind. No, no, no, no. 1330 01:26:22,609 --> 01:26:24,947 You want to talk about it, darling? No. 1331 01:26:24,980 --> 01:26:27,049 Good. 1332 01:26:27,081 --> 01:26:30,853 Because I'm not the one who went on Joan Rivers... 1333 01:26:30,886 --> 01:26:35,390 on national television and told her that "I finally found... 1334 01:26:35,423 --> 01:26:38,092 a real man in my life." 1335 01:26:38,125 --> 01:26:41,563 Don't you think you could have served me the papers before you did that? 1336 01:26:43,298 --> 01:26:47,870 And don't you think it would have been utterly fabulous... 1337 01:26:47,903 --> 01:26:53,240 if you had asked me for a divorce before Rowena printed the invitations? 1338 01:26:53,275 --> 01:26:57,312 I told you a thousand times I had nothing to do with that. 1339 01:26:57,345 --> 01:27:00,382 You went through with it! So did you! 1340 01:27:00,414 --> 01:27:03,218 You want to go back? Me? How about you? 1341 01:27:03,250 --> 01:27:06,188 You backpedal a mile a minute! Here we go. 1342 01:27:06,221 --> 01:27:09,124 You wanna go back to that nipped and tucked trophy wife of yours! 1343 01:27:09,156 --> 01:27:12,259 You're a witch, Lillian! Am I? Am I a witch? 1344 01:27:12,293 --> 01:27:14,196 Yeah! Take that, you shit! 1345 01:27:14,228 --> 01:27:16,263 Don't worry. I've been through this 100 times. 1346 01:27:16,297 --> 01:27:18,433 There's nothing you can do. 1347 01:27:18,465 --> 01:27:20,467 I hate you. You know what you are? 1348 01:27:20,502 --> 01:27:22,905 You are the high priestess of hysteria! 1349 01:27:22,938 --> 01:27:25,139 How dare you? I'm not hysterical! 1350 01:27:25,172 --> 01:27:27,641 You're hysterical. Your veins are bulging! I hope your sutures pop! 1351 01:27:27,674 --> 01:27:30,412 Come on, you two. [ Together ] Get outta here! 1352 01:27:30,445 --> 01:27:33,415 [ Dan ] I hope your face shrivels up! 1353 01:27:33,448 --> 01:27:36,250 I hope your gonads shrivel up and drop off and make terrible noises! 1354 01:27:36,283 --> 01:27:39,888 What is this? It's not, uh-- 1355 01:27:39,922 --> 01:27:42,057 Okay, it is. This is about a picture? 1356 01:27:42,089 --> 01:27:44,993 N-No. What? Another picture of my mother? 1357 01:27:45,027 --> 01:27:49,330 I was going to. I thought about it, but I didn't. [ Arguing Continues ] 1358 01:27:49,364 --> 01:27:52,266 Well, I don't believe you. 1359 01:27:52,300 --> 01:27:54,535 [ Arguing Continues ] Molly? 1360 01:27:54,569 --> 01:27:58,140 You're demented, Lilly! I thought you were on my side! 1361 01:27:58,172 --> 01:28:01,408 I am on your side! Me drag you? You're nymphomaniacal! 1362 01:28:01,443 --> 01:28:06,313 You were the aggressor! I know why! You wanted to ruin my beautiful marriage! 1363 01:28:06,348 --> 01:28:09,918 Yeah, 'cause you wouldn't trust anybody that wasn't wavin' a Yale diploma! 1364 01:28:09,952 --> 01:28:12,120 If that's what you think, then you don't know me! 1365 01:28:12,153 --> 01:28:14,923 [ Lilly ] If you were half a man! I am half a man! 1366 01:28:14,957 --> 01:28:17,459 The wrong half! Oh, yeah? 1367 01:28:17,492 --> 01:28:20,527 I'm twice the man you'll ever be! I hate you! 1368 01:28:20,562 --> 01:28:26,233 You're a hard-boiled-- I'd like to hard-boil your balls! 1369 01:28:33,041 --> 01:28:37,244 Alan, take me home. 1370 01:28:48,523 --> 01:28:53,061 Lillian, I just want you to know I don't hold this against you. 1371 01:28:53,094 --> 01:28:55,662 I can completely empathize. 1372 01:28:55,697 --> 01:28:59,700 I've been working constantly, giving to everyone else but you. 1373 01:28:59,734 --> 01:29:03,305 I'm actually-- I'm grateful to you for... 1374 01:29:03,338 --> 01:29:07,509 reminding me how much I value our marriage. 1375 01:29:07,542 --> 01:29:12,213 I want you to tell me everything I did wrong that led you to do this. 1376 01:29:12,247 --> 01:29:17,452 [ Alan Continues, Indistinct ] Molly, I'm sorry I was so short. 1377 01:29:17,485 --> 01:29:22,423 That's-- That's okay. I never should have hired him. 1378 01:29:22,457 --> 01:29:26,061 That was a pretty desperate decision. 1379 01:29:26,094 --> 01:29:28,563 I know. I'm sorry. 1380 01:29:28,596 --> 01:29:33,367 [ Alan Continues, Indistinct ] And I forgive you. 1381 01:29:33,400 --> 01:29:37,371 You do? Sure. He didn't get any pictures. 1382 01:29:37,404 --> 01:29:42,010 I think this whole thing is going to blow over without a trace. 1383 01:29:43,277 --> 01:29:48,282 Or is it something fundamental? Is it something I can't change? 1384 01:29:48,315 --> 01:29:50,985 You think my head's too big for my body? No. But I mean-- 1385 01:29:54,655 --> 01:29:57,525 I understand if you want to leave me. 1386 01:29:57,559 --> 01:30:03,231 I do. I did get you kind of unfairly in the first place. 1387 01:30:03,264 --> 01:30:05,300 I was pretty ruthless about it. 1388 01:30:05,333 --> 01:30:09,703 Oh, but I loved you so much. 1389 01:30:09,737 --> 01:30:15,476 And now that it's happened to me, I have to face myself. 1390 01:30:15,510 --> 01:30:18,412 Maybe I deserve this. 1391 01:30:18,445 --> 01:30:20,582 Balls, Rowena. Cut to the chase. 1392 01:30:20,615 --> 01:30:25,252 Are we back together? Not if you keep this shit up. 1393 01:30:27,488 --> 01:30:30,058 Well, I guess we missed the plane. 1394 01:30:30,092 --> 01:30:33,528 It's all taken care of. I got us on a flight in the morning. 1395 01:30:33,561 --> 01:30:36,798 What happened, happened. The present is now. 1396 01:30:36,830 --> 01:30:39,567 Uh-- I'm not going to wallow, recriminate. 1397 01:30:39,601 --> 01:30:42,170 Because we're ventilating. We're interfacing. 1398 01:30:42,204 --> 01:30:45,673 We're really building from a new foundation. 1399 01:30:45,707 --> 01:30:48,509 Sometimes the inner child just says, "Change me. 1400 01:30:48,543 --> 01:30:51,045 I've gone poo. Change me." 1401 01:30:51,045 --> 01:30:54,348 Maybe your inner child just wants to throw a toy. 1402 01:30:54,382 --> 01:30:56,517 Where's your room? 1403 01:30:56,551 --> 01:30:59,121 Uh, over there. 1404 01:30:59,153 --> 01:31:01,556 [ Sighs ] 1405 01:31:01,588 --> 01:31:05,592 We have a little time, 1406 01:31:05,627 --> 01:31:07,761 if you want to lie down? 1407 01:31:07,795 --> 01:31:10,798 Oh, um, uh-- [ Dogs Yipping ] 1408 01:31:10,831 --> 01:31:13,301 Alan wanted me to walk his dogs. 1409 01:31:13,334 --> 01:31:16,270 So-- Yeah. 1410 01:31:16,304 --> 01:31:20,142 Okay. Well, I'm beat. 1411 01:31:20,175 --> 01:31:24,445 Okay, well, I'm gonna walk the dogs, so-- 1412 01:31:24,478 --> 01:31:27,881 [ Thunder Rumbling ] 1413 01:31:27,914 --> 01:31:30,185 [ Door Closes ] 1414 01:31:41,395 --> 01:31:43,464 Taxi? 1415 01:32:00,214 --> 01:32:01,916 [ Knocking ] 1416 01:32:01,949 --> 01:32:07,888 [ Sighs ] No, Rowena. I do not want to renew our wedding vows. 1417 01:32:09,224 --> 01:32:11,293 Dad, it's me. 1418 01:32:13,361 --> 01:32:15,462 Oh, hi, Molly. 1419 01:32:15,497 --> 01:32:17,665 Come on in. 1420 01:32:24,639 --> 01:32:26,808 Came to say good-bye, huh? 1421 01:32:26,841 --> 01:32:29,244 Yeah. Yeah. 1422 01:32:30,412 --> 01:32:32,579 How come you're not working on your computer? 1423 01:32:32,613 --> 01:32:35,317 I like this old thing better. 1424 01:32:35,350 --> 01:32:38,920 I always did better work on this. I thought before I typed. 1425 01:32:40,987 --> 01:32:46,560 Look, I, um, I wanted to apologize... 1426 01:32:46,593 --> 01:32:49,197 for intruding on you and Mom the way I did. 1427 01:32:49,231 --> 01:32:52,334 I never should have-- You did me a favor. Really. 1428 01:32:52,366 --> 01:32:55,269 Well, it was none of my business. 1429 01:32:55,303 --> 01:32:57,805 I should have let you-- Molly, you were right. 1430 01:32:57,838 --> 01:33:00,607 You're always right. 1431 01:33:00,642 --> 01:33:04,546 Don't you know you're the only sane one in this entire circus? 1432 01:33:04,579 --> 01:33:08,283 Yeah, well, I-- 1433 01:33:08,315 --> 01:33:12,920 I've been thinking a lot about what you said about me. 1434 01:33:12,953 --> 01:33:15,723 [ Knocking ] [ Rowena ] The Matsons are here. 1435 01:33:15,757 --> 01:33:20,527 Just one moment, please, Rowena! I'm sorry, honey. Go ahead. 1436 01:33:20,562 --> 01:33:25,733 What you said about not settling... 1437 01:33:25,767 --> 01:33:29,704 and about having some fun before-- 1438 01:33:29,737 --> 01:33:32,874 Daddy, I don't think I've had very much fun. 1439 01:33:32,907 --> 01:33:35,410 No, Molly, honey, don't listen to me. 1440 01:33:35,442 --> 01:33:39,012 You should never listen to me. Don't you know that by now? 1441 01:33:39,045 --> 01:33:40,748 Look at me today. 1442 01:33:40,782 --> 01:33:45,952 I'm on the dance floor with this woman who's out to destroy me, thinking I'm having fun. 1443 01:33:45,987 --> 01:33:48,856 She's feeding me arsenic, and I don't even know it. 1444 01:33:48,890 --> 01:33:51,225 Believe me, you don't want to do what I did. 1445 01:33:51,225 --> 01:33:54,462 So you think it's better to settle for something... 1446 01:33:54,495 --> 01:33:56,463 even though you know in your heart it's-- 1447 01:33:56,498 --> 01:33:59,467 Dan-- Oh. 1448 01:33:59,500 --> 01:34:02,304 Hello, Molly. 1449 01:34:02,336 --> 01:34:05,672 Uh, Dan, we're gonna lose our reservation. 1450 01:34:10,778 --> 01:34:12,747 [ Sighs ] 1451 01:34:12,780 --> 01:34:16,418 Well, you don't want to lose your reservation. 1452 01:34:24,926 --> 01:34:27,694 [ Sniffles ] 1453 01:34:28,995 --> 01:34:31,032 Mmm. 1454 01:34:37,003 --> 01:34:42,008 Are you okay? Me? Oh, I'm perfect. 1455 01:34:42,043 --> 01:34:45,579 Everything here is fine. 1456 01:34:45,612 --> 01:34:47,882 We had a long talk last night. 1457 01:34:47,915 --> 01:34:51,285 A long, long, long talk. 1458 01:34:51,285 --> 01:34:56,523 He's being a saint. Really, I'm fabulous. I'm terrific. 1459 01:34:56,558 --> 01:34:59,493 [ Hoarse Voice ] Good morning, Molly. Good morning. 1460 01:34:59,527 --> 01:35:03,497 Oh, honey, how are you feeling? Are we out of bagels? 1461 01:35:03,531 --> 01:35:06,634 I'll get you some. Oh, no, don't bother! 1462 01:35:06,668 --> 01:35:09,371 Listen to you. Feed the dogs. 1463 01:35:09,404 --> 01:35:11,071 We're communicating? Oh, yes. 1464 01:35:11,105 --> 01:35:13,640 She's such a caretaker, huh? 1465 01:35:13,675 --> 01:35:18,045 Now, come on. Just stay open to the idea of liver and kidney. 1466 01:35:18,078 --> 01:35:22,984 Don't close yourself off. You can only imagine. 1467 01:35:23,016 --> 01:35:27,788 So how are you and Keith? Did you do it? None of your business. 1468 01:35:27,822 --> 01:35:33,395 In other words, no. I'd like to try it just once without my mom in the next room. 1469 01:35:33,428 --> 01:35:38,400 Oh, be that way. Ooh, you're gonna miss your flight. 1470 01:35:41,469 --> 01:35:44,939 [ Burps, Clears Throat ] Honey? 1471 01:35:44,972 --> 01:35:47,140 Oh, honey. 1472 01:35:47,173 --> 01:35:52,413 Do you want Mommy to take you to the airport in her big vulgar limo? 1473 01:35:54,549 --> 01:35:56,684 I cannot believe you brought her. 1474 01:35:56,718 --> 01:36:00,588 She's depressed. Have you ever seen her wear black? 1475 01:36:00,621 --> 01:36:03,758 I thought we might start to explore the concept of privacy. 1476 01:36:03,790 --> 01:36:07,395 It's gonna be two more minutes. Probably less. They're gonna be boarding already. 1477 01:36:07,429 --> 01:36:12,799 We shouldn't have done this. She wanted to say something before I let you drag me out. 1478 01:36:12,833 --> 01:36:14,768 All right! 1479 01:36:14,801 --> 01:36:17,771 Did you know about this? No. 1480 01:36:17,804 --> 01:36:19,773 He's never seen me off anywhere in my whole life. 1481 01:36:19,806 --> 01:36:24,446 But not with anger. Anger is such a cheap emotion. 1482 01:36:24,479 --> 01:36:26,514 I gotta go. 1483 01:36:26,548 --> 01:36:28,516 Mother, don't. Lillian. 1484 01:36:28,550 --> 01:36:33,186 This is potentially a backsliding situation. You have a choice. 1485 01:36:33,219 --> 01:36:37,724 Dan, let's go. She doesn't have exclusive rights to our daughter. 1486 01:36:37,758 --> 01:36:39,626 Only morally and legally. 1487 01:36:39,661 --> 01:36:41,795 She's an adult. She's free to reject you. 1488 01:36:41,828 --> 01:36:43,164 I'm not putting up with this. 1489 01:36:43,196 --> 01:36:44,666 You had to ruin this for me. 1490 01:36:44,698 --> 01:36:48,635 I couldn't possibly have any fatherly interest. I'm here to create a scene. 1491 01:36:48,670 --> 01:36:50,771 Absolutely. That's right, Lillian. 1492 01:36:50,804 --> 01:36:52,739 The world revolves around you. 1493 01:36:52,774 --> 01:36:55,443 You clearly think so, otherwise you wouldn't be stalking me. 1494 01:36:55,477 --> 01:36:58,011 I wouldn't stalk you if-- That's it! Stop it! 1495 01:36:58,045 --> 01:37:00,046 You're both crazy. 1496 01:37:00,080 --> 01:37:04,050 Why don't you accept that your marriage is over and get on with your lives? 1497 01:37:04,084 --> 01:37:07,655 Stop infecting the rest of us with your bad taste and immaturity. 1498 01:37:07,688 --> 01:37:09,023 Oh, no. 1499 01:37:09,055 --> 01:37:11,926 Bad taste? Immaturity, huh? 1500 01:37:11,959 --> 01:37:13,827 You should talk, you little weenie. 1501 01:37:13,860 --> 01:37:15,629 You been married two whole days? 1502 01:37:15,663 --> 01:37:18,064 This is what we talked about. Toxic parents. 1503 01:37:18,099 --> 01:37:21,936 See what she's married? A pompous little ass. Patronizing. 1504 01:37:21,969 --> 01:37:24,038 My parents knew how to set an example. 1505 01:37:24,071 --> 01:37:26,172 Like your father and those twinkie models? 1506 01:37:26,207 --> 01:37:28,009 Is that what's ahead for my Molly? 1507 01:37:28,042 --> 01:37:30,578 You have the gall to tell me I'm an unfit partner for your daughter... 1508 01:37:30,612 --> 01:37:33,648 when your own marriage was a joke? 1509 01:37:33,680 --> 01:37:35,916 I know how to be a husband. 1510 01:37:35,950 --> 01:37:38,785 Oh, do you? 1511 01:37:40,622 --> 01:37:43,189 Rowena. 1512 01:37:43,224 --> 01:37:45,560 You're shedding again. 1513 01:37:45,593 --> 01:37:48,129 Stop. You're looking under rocks. 1514 01:37:48,162 --> 01:37:51,465 This is bullshit! I, I-- I'm really angry! Let's just go. 1515 01:37:51,465 --> 01:37:53,767 They're all certifiable. 1516 01:37:53,801 --> 01:37:57,171 So that's where you were all night! 1517 01:37:57,203 --> 01:38:01,107 I, I-- I am not gonna dignify this. 1518 01:38:01,141 --> 01:38:03,210 I'm not. Since when do you ever want to do it? 1519 01:38:03,243 --> 01:38:07,113 Molly, this is total poison. You know me better than that. 1520 01:38:07,147 --> 01:38:11,918 I thought I did. You! You're the one who hasn't accounted for last night. 1521 01:38:11,952 --> 01:38:14,254 She was with me. 1522 01:38:17,691 --> 01:38:21,162 What are you doing here? Look. 1523 01:38:21,194 --> 01:38:23,730 What? You want another picture of my mother? 1524 01:38:23,765 --> 01:38:27,001 There she is. Go for it. No! 1525 01:38:27,034 --> 01:38:29,103 I-I want you. 1526 01:38:34,175 --> 01:38:36,077 Did you sleep with him? 1527 01:38:36,110 --> 01:38:39,080 This is the final boarding call-- Molly-- 1528 01:38:39,113 --> 01:38:43,817 for American Airlines, Flight 395, service to Los Angeles and Honolulu. 1529 01:38:43,850 --> 01:38:48,590 Mom, Dad, can I speak with you for a moment, please? 1530 01:38:50,991 --> 01:38:52,859 Please. 1531 01:38:55,096 --> 01:38:57,098 Dan? 1532 01:38:58,666 --> 01:39:01,134 This is exactly what I was afraid of. 1533 01:39:01,167 --> 01:39:03,537 Why did you bring her here? I-- 1534 01:39:07,374 --> 01:39:10,744 I want you to do something for me. 1535 01:39:10,778 --> 01:39:12,946 I want you to go on my honeymoon. 1536 01:39:15,982 --> 01:39:20,221 Oh, look. You're never gonna get over each other. You know that. 1537 01:39:20,253 --> 01:39:23,825 So why don't you just fly out of here and deal with it? 1538 01:39:25,259 --> 01:39:27,894 What do ya say? 1539 01:39:33,835 --> 01:39:38,706 Well, Lilly, are you game? 1540 01:39:38,740 --> 01:39:41,908 Always. ♪ At last 1541 01:39:41,942 --> 01:39:44,278 Thanks, baby. 1542 01:39:44,310 --> 01:39:47,248 I love you both very much. ♪ My love has come along 1543 01:39:47,281 --> 01:39:51,218 We love you too, honey. 1544 01:39:51,252 --> 01:39:55,021 ♪ My lonely days are over 1545 01:39:58,726 --> 01:40:01,095 ♪ And life is like a song What did you do? 1546 01:40:01,127 --> 01:40:05,866 Dan! Dan! Oh, butt out. 1547 01:40:05,900 --> 01:40:08,001 You're gonna pay for this! 1548 01:40:08,034 --> 01:40:10,937 Molly? What are you doing? 1549 01:40:10,972 --> 01:40:14,875 Annulling your ass. ♪ The skies above are blue 1550 01:40:14,909 --> 01:40:18,145 Good! My father was right! [ Rowena Sobbing ] 1551 01:40:18,179 --> 01:40:20,982 Hey, Joey! ♪ Here we are in heaven 1552 01:40:21,014 --> 01:40:23,284 ♪ In heaven 1553 01:40:23,316 --> 01:40:27,053 ♪ For you are mine at last 1554 01:40:27,087 --> 01:40:29,355 [ Laughing Uproariously ] 1555 01:40:29,390 --> 01:40:33,728 Should never have bought that third dog. He's gonna pay for this. 1556 01:40:33,761 --> 01:40:39,099 Good. You got your picture. 1557 01:40:39,133 --> 01:40:41,836 You got what you wanted. 1558 01:40:41,868 --> 01:40:46,940 So maybe you should just take your film and-- 1559 01:40:55,149 --> 01:40:57,383 [ Keith ] Wonderful. I should have seen this coming. 1560 01:40:57,418 --> 01:40:59,853 I'm glad I found out now. 1561 01:41:01,855 --> 01:41:04,058 This is my wife! 1562 01:41:05,291 --> 01:41:08,462 Oh, this is lovely. Beautiful. 1563 01:41:08,494 --> 01:41:13,034 Oh, fine. Good riddance! ♪ I found a dream 1564 01:41:13,066 --> 01:41:15,101 You're just like them! 1565 01:41:15,135 --> 01:41:17,839 ♪ That I could speak to Not yet. 1566 01:41:17,871 --> 01:41:20,708 Enjoy your life as a photographer's assistant! 1567 01:41:20,742 --> 01:41:23,878 Come on. [ Keith ] Crazy liberals. 1568 01:41:23,910 --> 01:41:25,912 ♪ And here we are ♪ Here we are 1569 01:41:25,947 --> 01:41:30,184 ♪ We are in heaven ♪ In heaven 1570 01:41:30,217 --> 01:41:34,487 ♪ For you are mine 1571 01:41:34,520 --> 01:41:40,126 ♪ At last 1572 01:42:08,354 --> 01:42:12,058 ♪ I saw you last night 1573 01:42:12,093 --> 01:42:16,162 ♪ And got that old feelin' 1574 01:42:17,398 --> 01:42:20,200 ♪ When you came in sight 1575 01:42:20,234 --> 01:42:25,739 ♪ I got that old feelin', dear 1576 01:42:26,539 --> 01:42:30,845 ♪ The moment you danced by 1577 01:42:30,878 --> 01:42:34,248 ♪ I felt the thrill 1578 01:42:35,148 --> 01:42:38,953 ♪ And when you caught my eye 1579 01:42:38,985 --> 01:42:41,923 ♪ My heart stood still 1580 01:42:41,956 --> 01:42:45,526 ♪ Yes, once again I seem 1581 01:42:45,558 --> 01:42:51,131 ♪ To feel that old yearnin' 1582 01:42:51,765 --> 01:42:55,535 ♪ And I knew the spark of love 1583 01:42:55,568 --> 01:43:00,373 ♪ Was still burnin' 1584 01:43:00,406 --> 01:43:05,146 ♪ There'll be no new romance for me ♪ 1585 01:43:05,179 --> 01:43:08,515 ♪ It's foolish to start 1586 01:43:08,548 --> 01:43:13,520 ♪ But that old feelin' 1587 01:43:13,553 --> 01:43:16,390 ♪ Is still in my heart 1588 01:43:16,422 --> 01:43:20,226 ♪ Yes, I saw you last night 1589 01:43:20,260 --> 01:43:26,166 ♪ And got that old feelin' 1590 01:43:26,199 --> 01:43:28,601 ♪ When you came in sight 1591 01:43:28,634 --> 01:43:33,074 ♪ Mama, I got that old feelin', babe ♪ 1592 01:43:33,106 --> 01:43:39,380 ♪ Yes, the moment you danced by ♪ 1593 01:43:39,413 --> 01:43:42,516 ♪ I felt a little thrill 1594 01:43:42,548 --> 01:43:46,387 ♪ Yes, when you caught my eye 1595 01:43:46,420 --> 01:43:49,456 ♪ Baby, my heart stood still 1596 01:43:49,490 --> 01:43:51,825 ♪ Baby, baby, oh 1597 01:43:51,825 --> 01:43:54,896 ♪ And once again I seem 1598 01:43:54,929 --> 01:44:00,334 ♪ To feel that old yearnin' 1599 01:44:00,366 --> 01:44:03,870 ♪ And I knew the spark of love 1600 01:44:03,905 --> 01:44:08,274 ♪ Was still burnin' 1601 01:44:08,308 --> 01:44:13,279 ♪ Yes, there'll be no new romance for me ♪ 1602 01:44:13,313 --> 01:44:16,350 ♪ It's foolish to start 1603 01:44:16,383 --> 01:44:21,655 ♪ For that old feelin', babe 1604 01:44:21,687 --> 01:44:26,292 ♪ Is still in my heart 1605 01:44:30,364 --> 01:44:34,468 ♪ Baby, it's still in my heart ♪ 1606 01:44:39,040 --> 01:44:41,475 ♪ [ Conga: Lively ] 1607 01:44:50,484 --> 01:44:53,387 ♪ Baila conmigo 1608 01:44:55,222 --> 01:44:58,392 ♪ Baila al son de mis cimbales 1609 01:44:59,726 --> 01:45:04,298 ♪ Baila al son de la conga 1610 01:45:20,346 --> 01:45:22,416 ♪ Uh 119646

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