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♪ "L" is for the way
you look at me ♪
4
00:01:18,044 --> 00:01:23,717
♪ "O" is for the only one
I see ♪
5
00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:27,888
♪ "V" is very, very
6
00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:30,489
♪ Extraordinary
7
00:01:30,522 --> 00:01:34,895
♪ "E" is even more
than anyone ♪
8
00:01:34,927 --> 00:01:38,064
♪ That you adore can love
9
00:01:38,097 --> 00:01:42,335
♪ Is all that I can give
to you ♪
10
00:01:42,369 --> 00:01:48,842
♪ Love is more than
just a game for two ♪
11
00:01:48,875 --> 00:01:53,246
♪ Two in love can make it
12
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,815
♪ Take my heart
and, please, don't break it ♪
13
00:01:55,848 --> 00:02:01,420
♪ Love was made for me and you
14
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:29,850
♪ "L" is for the way
15
00:02:29,883 --> 00:02:33,185
♪ You look at me
16
00:02:33,219 --> 00:02:36,256
♪ "O" is for the only
17
00:02:36,289 --> 00:02:39,125
♪ One I see
18
00:02:39,158 --> 00:02:42,995
♪ "V" is very, very
19
00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:45,532
♪ Extraordinary
20
00:02:45,564 --> 00:02:50,236
♪ "E" is even more than
anyone that you adore ♪
21
00:02:50,270 --> 00:02:52,806
[ Bottle Pops ]
♪ Can love
22
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:57,209
♪ Is all that I can give
to you ♪
23
00:02:57,244 --> 00:02:59,979
Waiter! Waiter!
24
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:02,481
♪ Love is more than
just a game for two ♪
25
00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:06,986
- ♪ Two in love can make it
- Spit it out. Cough. Come on!
26
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,989
♪ Take my heart
and, please, don't break it ♪
27
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:14,994
♪ Love was made
for me and you ♪
28
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:21,935
♪ Love was made for me and you
29
00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:23,937
♪ Love was made
30
00:03:23,971 --> 00:03:26,806
Oh!
♪ For me and you
31
00:03:37,417 --> 00:03:41,553
I had this vision of you
in stomach surgery...
32
00:03:41,588 --> 00:03:44,457
on what should have been
the happiest night
of your life.
33
00:03:44,491 --> 00:03:47,860
It is.
Good.
34
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:51,063
Because...
I booked a church.
35
00:03:52,032 --> 00:03:53,799
You did?
36
00:03:53,833 --> 00:03:58,370
Don't worry. It's beautiful.
It's next to my parents' house.
We'll have the reception there.
37
00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:02,409
We'll put your family up
at the local inn.
The next morning... off to Maui.
38
00:04:02,442 --> 00:04:08,247
Listen, is it really
very important to you to
have an actual... wedding?
39
00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:12,985
I thought
it would be romantic
if we just kind of ran away.
40
00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:15,022
Forgot the whole production.
41
00:04:15,054 --> 00:04:18,657
Molly, what is this?
42
00:04:18,690 --> 00:04:21,260
All right.
43
00:04:21,293 --> 00:04:26,265
You know how some people's
parents hate each other?
Like yours.
44
00:04:26,298 --> 00:04:28,600
But it's very civilized,
and they stay together.
45
00:04:28,635 --> 00:04:31,939
They smile,
and they keep up appearances.
46
00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:36,242
Well, my parents
hate each other with
a nuclear capability, Keith.
47
00:04:36,275 --> 00:04:39,579
They haven't seen or spoken
to each other in 14 years.
48
00:04:39,611 --> 00:04:42,015
I can't have a wedding
and not invite one of them.
49
00:04:42,049 --> 00:04:45,885
If they're both there,
something could happen.
Like what?
50
00:04:45,885 --> 00:04:49,222
I don't know.
A homicide.
51
00:04:49,256 --> 00:04:52,459
Molly, this is your wedding.
What makes you think
that your mother...
52
00:04:52,491 --> 00:04:56,662
is gonna make a scene
at the most inappropriate
of all places?
53
00:04:56,696 --> 00:04:58,931
She is an actress.
54
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:03,436
Come on, Mother.
Please. Don't do
this Garbo thing.
55
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:06,372
Nobody recognizes you.
That's what you think.
56
00:05:06,406 --> 00:05:09,675
The cockroach has been
following me for three blocks.
Who's the cockroach?
57
00:05:09,709 --> 00:05:14,046
That greasy little
paparazzi. The one that
took the fat picture of me.
58
00:05:14,081 --> 00:05:15,949
Don't turn around!
59
00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:18,551
I thought you got
an injunction.
I couldn't.
60
00:05:18,585 --> 00:05:24,024
Some First Amendment garbage
or something. Come on.
Duck in here.
61
00:05:24,756 --> 00:05:28,428
God. How does he do it?
62
00:05:28,461 --> 00:05:32,199
He's like
some missing link
Sherlock Holmes.
63
00:05:32,231 --> 00:05:38,038
The one time in my life
I blimped out, there he was,
clicking away in my face.
64
00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:40,974
People still think
I'm obese!
No one thinks you're obese.
65
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:44,011
He's the reason I lost
that role in Little Women.
[ Shutter Clicking ]
66
00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:47,514
- [ Screams ]
- Nice! Right into
eight million shopping carts.
67
00:05:47,547 --> 00:05:50,249
Sewer rat!
Make love to the camera.
68
00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:53,052
Damn you!
Not from the left!
Hey!
69
00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:55,288
Lawsuit! Lawsuit!
Never from the left!
70
00:05:55,322 --> 00:05:58,590
My face is
too round from the left.
I look like a wheel of Brie.
71
00:05:58,624 --> 00:06:01,428
Oh, my God!
Security!
Give me some teeth.
72
00:06:01,461 --> 00:06:04,031
Help! I'm
being assaulted!
Sir, come with me, please.
73
00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:06,398
I-I'm just shopping.
You're out of here!
74
00:06:06,432 --> 00:06:09,469
Those are nice panties.
I want to get those
for my girlfriend.
75
00:06:09,502 --> 00:06:12,705
[ Sighs ]
Such a creep!
76
00:06:12,738 --> 00:06:16,509
[ Sighs ]
Oh, God. I hope
they throw the book at him.
77
00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:19,579
Look. A little
wedding night thrill.
How about that?
78
00:06:19,612 --> 00:06:23,150
I am not going to wear this.
He'll think I'm gonna
charge him.
79
00:06:23,183 --> 00:06:26,119
Keith will love it.
Or hasn't he seen them yet?
80
00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:31,158
Mother, could you be normal
for one minute, please?
Normal? Normal?
81
00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:33,760
I'm normal.
[ Molly Sighs ]
82
00:06:33,792 --> 00:06:38,098
Oh, all right.
You want to have a real talk?
Well, yes.
83
00:06:38,131 --> 00:06:43,435
That would be nice.
Okay, honey, are you sure
you want to marry this guy?
84
00:06:43,469 --> 00:06:46,005
Don't start.
You're so young.
85
00:06:46,005 --> 00:06:48,708
Don't you know what
your 20s are for?
86
00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:52,079
They're for having sex
with all the wrong people.
87
00:06:52,111 --> 00:06:54,646
They're not for getting married.
I mean, really.
88
00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:59,051
You got married.
I know, and I wish
I'd been around a little more.
89
00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:03,623
If I had, I would have seen
your father for what he was.
He's going to be there.
90
00:07:03,655 --> 00:07:07,493
Huh?
He's gonna be
at the wedding.
91
00:07:07,527 --> 00:07:11,163
How about this one?
92
00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:16,302
Mom, I know you heard me.
Of course, I did.
I understand perfectly.
93
00:07:16,336 --> 00:07:21,507
He is your father, although
once I told him he wasn't
just to torture him.
94
00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:24,811
Look at me.
95
00:07:24,843 --> 00:07:28,148
I want you to swear
that you will behave.
96
00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:32,085
Molly, don't I always?
97
00:07:49,735 --> 00:07:51,771
Why are you
doing this here?
98
00:07:51,803 --> 00:07:55,841
Natural light. I need
to know what I'm really
going to look like,
99
00:07:55,875 --> 00:07:59,211
not what I'm kidding myself
that I look like.
100
00:07:59,245 --> 00:08:02,149
Let's talk about this.
Can we, please?
101
00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:05,351
Is this about Dan?
No, it's about
that slut Rowena.
102
00:08:05,385 --> 00:08:10,890
Lillian, is she worth the
maintenance on all this hatred?
I don't see this.
103
00:08:10,922 --> 00:08:14,461
Alan, she took my husband
away from me. I have
to look like a goddess.
104
00:08:14,493 --> 00:08:16,663
I know it all turned out
for the best.
105
00:08:16,696 --> 00:08:19,299
I hope she looks 1,000.
106
00:08:19,331 --> 00:08:22,602
I hope she's getting those
little lines above her lips.
107
00:08:22,635 --> 00:08:26,873
She always had that
fabulous tan. I hope
she's a fucking raisin.
108
00:08:26,905 --> 00:08:30,810
Hmph!
What?
109
00:08:30,842 --> 00:08:35,648
I'm just wondering
whether you're being
totally honest with yourself.
110
00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:38,718
Alan, I'm not neurotic.
I'm just a bitch.
111
00:08:38,751 --> 00:08:42,722
I want my ex-rival to have
aged badly. What could be
more normal than that?
112
00:08:42,755 --> 00:08:46,125
I hope she looks like
one of those Chinese dogs,
the ones with the folds.
113
00:08:46,125 --> 00:08:49,729
The ones that look
like they're melting.
That would be great.
114
00:08:51,498 --> 00:08:54,400
Dan, we are
seriously late.
115
00:08:54,434 --> 00:08:58,871
Rowena, I'm in the wedding.
They can't start without me.
Just give me ten seconds.
116
00:08:58,904 --> 00:09:02,608
What is it?
It's this tuxedo.
It's geriatric.
117
00:09:02,642 --> 00:09:06,578
I don't like the tie.
I hate the shoes.
It's about your hair.
118
00:09:06,612 --> 00:09:11,783
Look at it. Why did
I let you talk me into this?
I should have gone bald.
119
00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:15,354
Don't be an idiot.
Dr. Goldbine
did a great job.
120
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:19,692
No, no, no. It's too much.
It's gigolo hair.
He's the best.
121
00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:22,594
Nobody can tell
I got my lips done.
122
00:09:22,628 --> 00:09:26,465
- You don't know Lilly.
- What about Lilly?
123
00:09:26,498 --> 00:09:30,337
She has X-ray vision for people
with cosmetic improvements.
124
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:33,373
She should talk.
Have you seen
that picture of her?
125
00:09:34,906 --> 00:09:36,443
What picture?
126
00:09:36,475 --> 00:09:41,748
She's as big as a house.
You couldn't tell which one
was her original chin.
127
00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:45,484
- She's fat?
- Mm-hmm. Let's go.
128
00:09:45,517 --> 00:09:49,689
How fat? Fat-fat?
She was wearing a pup tent.
129
00:09:49,721 --> 00:09:51,990
It was really very sad.
130
00:09:52,024 --> 00:09:54,427
It was circus fat?
Mm-hmm.
131
00:09:54,460 --> 00:09:56,862
Two-plane-seats fat?
Yes, Dan.
132
00:09:56,895 --> 00:09:59,731
♪ [ Organ ]
133
00:10:14,646 --> 00:10:17,349
[ Whispering ]
Oh, my God!
She's had everything done.
134
00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:20,652
They've taken some of her nose
and injected it into her lips.
135
00:10:20,686 --> 00:10:23,689
♪ [ Organ:
Wedding Processional ]
136
00:10:26,525 --> 00:10:28,627
♪ [ Organ Continues ]
137
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:36,836
Are you nervous, Molly?
No, I'm not.
138
00:10:36,869 --> 00:10:42,608
You should be nervous.
I would be nervous.
If you say one more thing--
139
00:10:42,641 --> 00:10:45,745
Don't worry.
I shall forever
hold my peace.
140
00:10:45,778 --> 00:10:49,681
You'd better.
You're no fun.
141
00:10:49,716 --> 00:10:54,353
You know, I think
somebody should object.
Liven this morgue up.
142
00:10:54,386 --> 00:10:58,658
Daddy, stop it. You're
scaring me. Don't scare me.
I might throw up.
143
00:10:58,690 --> 00:11:03,296
No, you won't. Not
until you see the outfit
your mother is wearing.
144
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:05,832
Holy cow. She looks
like she's a toreador.
145
00:11:05,865 --> 00:11:07,800
Don't look at her.
You'll set her off. Sit.
146
00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:09,936
♪ [ Organ Continues ]
147
00:11:26,919 --> 00:11:29,489
I thought you said
she was fat.
148
00:11:29,521 --> 00:11:33,826
So she had her jaw wired
or her stomach stapled.
I don't know.
149
00:11:42,734 --> 00:11:45,838
Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here...
150
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:50,609
to join together
this man and this woman
in holy matrimony.
151
00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:55,047
♪ [ Orchestra ]
152
00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:58,083
[ Man ]
Congratulations.
153
00:11:58,117 --> 00:12:01,554
Molly, good to see you.
Congratulations.
154
00:12:01,587 --> 00:12:04,756
Keith, good to see you.
Congratulations.
155
00:12:04,790 --> 00:12:07,360
Oh, where are they?
156
00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:10,529
Relax.
They're miles apart.
157
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:14,000
I'm so glad
you liked that one.
That's my favorite too.
158
00:12:14,032 --> 00:12:16,436
Oh, aren't you sweet?
159
00:12:16,468 --> 00:12:20,039
Why is it in all your books
you're always killing off
actresses?
160
00:12:20,071 --> 00:12:23,742
I'm just acting on
an impulse most of us have.
Champagne, sir?
161
00:12:23,775 --> 00:12:27,646
Thanks, Mitch.
Oh! Look at you!
You look fabulous!
162
00:12:27,679 --> 00:12:31,451
What a beautiful wedding.
A little long. Ha, ha.
163
00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:33,520
I'm her Aunt Iris.
Ah.
164
00:12:33,553 --> 00:12:37,023
You gonna win
your election?
I certainly hope so.
165
00:12:37,056 --> 00:12:40,592
He's ahead in the polls.
You know,
her hair's wrong.
166
00:12:40,627 --> 00:12:45,898
You can't be a
congressman's wife unless
you get that helmet thing going.
167
00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:49,635
Okay, Aunt Iris.
Anyhoo,
I need a drink.
168
00:12:49,668 --> 00:12:52,170
Waiter! Get over here!
Not you, the young one.
169
00:12:52,204 --> 00:12:56,074
[ Tapping ]
Who's that?
170
00:13:01,146 --> 00:13:04,050
That's my grandmother.
171
00:13:09,989 --> 00:13:12,157
Thank you.
172
00:13:12,191 --> 00:13:15,727
Mmm! Even more
beautiful in person.
173
00:13:15,762 --> 00:13:19,798
Who the f--
Mother, you remember Senator
Marks, Keith's father?
174
00:13:19,831 --> 00:13:22,634
Oh. Right.
175
00:13:22,669 --> 00:13:25,472
Keith tells me
you've graciously
agreed to perform...
176
00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:27,639
at one of my
little fund-raisers.
177
00:13:27,674 --> 00:13:30,809
A Republican fund-raiser?
Of course!
178
00:13:30,842 --> 00:13:33,513
[ Laughs ]
[ Laughing ]
179
00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:35,647
Darling, I--
We'll talk
about it later.
180
00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:37,617
I need food.
181
00:13:37,649 --> 00:13:41,787
♪ [ Orchestra Continues ]
182
00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:43,789
Lilly, wait.
183
00:13:43,822 --> 00:13:46,425
Congratulations!
You look so much better.
184
00:13:46,425 --> 00:13:51,096
I find any attempt you make
to talk to me
in the worst possible taste.
185
00:13:51,130 --> 00:13:54,099
Oh, Lilly.
It's been so many years.
186
00:13:54,133 --> 00:13:58,838
So why bring it up?
Because I really
behaved badly.
187
00:13:58,870 --> 00:14:00,907
Oh, Rowena,
you were impeccable.
188
00:14:00,940 --> 00:14:04,043
I particularly enjoyed
finding your hair
on my pillow.
189
00:14:04,075 --> 00:14:06,178
That was a classy touch.
190
00:14:06,211 --> 00:14:11,050
I didn't plan that.
It was just
spontaneous combustion.
191
00:14:11,082 --> 00:14:15,488
Rowena, did they suck out
your brain cells along
with your fat?
192
00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:21,693
I don't think my fat
has ever been an issue, Lilly.
193
00:14:29,636 --> 00:14:33,973
Well, Dan, here we are
at a wedding.
194
00:14:34,006 --> 00:14:36,808
Perfect place for growth,
for healing.
195
00:14:36,842 --> 00:14:38,810
And just think, you and me,
two people--
196
00:14:38,844 --> 00:14:42,081
Shut up,
or I'll kill you.
Huh.
197
00:14:42,114 --> 00:14:45,685
[ Shutter Clicking ]
Hey.
198
00:14:45,717 --> 00:14:49,088
You know the bride's mother,
the one with the big--
199
00:14:49,121 --> 00:14:54,526
I want you to shoot her
only from the left.
200
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:56,928
No problem.
201
00:15:03,670 --> 00:15:05,672
Who let you in here?
202
00:15:05,704 --> 00:15:08,675
How ya doin'?
No, no, no!
Not today!
203
00:15:08,707 --> 00:15:10,677
Why not today?
You look radiant.
204
00:15:10,709 --> 00:15:14,212
Get out! I mean it.
Get out!
Don't be shy.
205
00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:17,016
Stop. Just stop.
Tilt your head to the left.
206
00:15:17,049 --> 00:15:19,951
Look at
that nuptial blush.
How dare you?
207
00:15:19,985 --> 00:15:21,820
I gotta pay rent too.
208
00:15:21,853 --> 00:15:24,190
Don't you live in a van?
Sanford!
You're funny.
209
00:15:24,223 --> 00:15:28,127
Maybe we could do something
with the whole family.
Sanford! Gordon!
210
00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:31,262
Pout.
Gordon, please.
This is an uninvited guest.
211
00:15:31,297 --> 00:15:34,667
Don't touch the camera!
Hey, Malibu Ken!
212
00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:37,103
That's good.
Stand with your wife.
Nice shot.
213
00:15:37,136 --> 00:15:41,674
Hey, let go of me!
Tough guys, huh?
You look like Easter eggs!
214
00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:44,644
What was that about?
How did he get in here?
215
00:15:44,677 --> 00:15:46,545
I hired him.
What?
216
00:15:46,545 --> 00:15:50,215
His portfolio was great.
217
00:15:50,249 --> 00:15:52,752
He shoots all the stars.
218
00:15:52,784 --> 00:15:54,887
What people really
want in a marriage--
219
00:15:54,921 --> 00:15:58,256
We want what I call
emotional valet parking.
220
00:15:58,290 --> 00:16:02,828
We deserve it,
but in order to get it,
you have to be validated.
221
00:16:02,862 --> 00:16:05,131
Have a wonderful day.
222
00:16:05,164 --> 00:16:07,600
Lovely.
Bye-bye.
223
00:16:20,179 --> 00:16:22,081
Congratulations.
224
00:16:22,114 --> 00:16:26,719
Our daughter
looks beautiful.
Thank you.
225
00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:28,855
So how are you?
226
00:16:28,887 --> 00:16:31,758
Fabulous.
How are you?
227
00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:35,161
Never better.
Good.
228
00:16:35,194 --> 00:16:37,395
I'm glad
you can be civil.
229
00:16:37,428 --> 00:16:40,700
This is not
the time nor the place
for anything else, is it?
230
00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:43,169
For once, we agree.
231
00:16:46,605 --> 00:16:50,677
What are you
doing in Armani?
Knock over a truck?
232
00:16:50,709 --> 00:16:54,279
[ Laughs ]
It's called prosperity.
Really?
233
00:16:54,313 --> 00:16:57,282
Yes, Keep Under The Grass
went into its third printing.
234
00:16:57,315 --> 00:17:01,319
Oh? What's that?
One of my books.
235
00:17:01,353 --> 00:17:06,225
Oh, I wouldn't know.
I've been out
of the country.
236
00:17:06,257 --> 00:17:10,296
Tax problems?
Shooting a film.
237
00:17:10,328 --> 00:17:13,031
Do you still do that?
238
00:17:13,064 --> 00:17:17,804
You know perfectly well
I still do that.
239
00:17:22,941 --> 00:17:24,943
You've got more hair.
I don't think so.
240
00:17:24,976 --> 00:17:27,413
What is it? Plugs?
A rug?
No. No. Look.
241
00:17:27,445 --> 00:17:29,348
Let's not do this, okay?
Please.
242
00:17:29,380 --> 00:17:32,218
I'm just curious.
Rogaine?
Hair Club for Men?
243
00:17:32,251 --> 00:17:35,020
I've laid off of your hair.
My hair is perfect.
244
00:17:35,053 --> 00:17:39,258
Yes, it's perfect, if you
want to look like a madame
in a saloon in Tombstone.
245
00:17:39,291 --> 00:17:42,161
Oh! A metaphor.
Aren't we literary?
246
00:17:42,194 --> 00:17:45,832
I can't believe that you are
still threatened by people
who write books.
247
00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:49,368
My husband writes books.
He doesn't threaten me
at all.
248
00:17:49,401 --> 00:17:52,739
You call that
self-help psychobabble
that he writes books?
249
00:17:52,771 --> 00:17:55,074
More people read them than
those dime novels of yours.
250
00:17:55,106 --> 00:17:58,810
The Tao of Divorc ?
Who is this guy
tryin' to kid?
251
00:17:58,844 --> 00:18:01,847
That book has saved
thousands of marriages.
None of which was ours.
252
00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:04,717
Ours was beyond saving.
I would say so,
253
00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:07,118
when the counselor's trying
to put the make on my wife.
254
00:18:07,152 --> 00:18:09,154
That was long after
you were off with Rowena,
255
00:18:09,188 --> 00:18:11,290
humping like
a middle-aged mink.
256
00:18:11,322 --> 00:18:13,892
After we go in
for a session,
257
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:16,062
and the man
who was supposed to save
my marriage of 14 years...
258
00:18:16,094 --> 00:18:20,098
tells me he wants
to interface to talk
about his feelings.
259
00:18:20,131 --> 00:18:24,102
What a load.
Because his feeling is that
he can make my wife happier.
260
00:18:24,135 --> 00:18:26,137
And I'm paying the guy
to hear this.
Bullshit!
261
00:18:26,171 --> 00:18:28,039
You bounced the check!
Wouldn't you?
262
00:18:28,073 --> 00:18:30,843
You are so pathetically
jealous of Alan...
263
00:18:30,877 --> 00:18:32,979
just because he's
a national phenomenon.
264
00:18:33,011 --> 00:18:35,013
At least I had the maturity
not to marry a bauble.
265
00:18:35,046 --> 00:18:37,917
She is a top
interior designer!
Oh, come on!
266
00:18:37,949 --> 00:18:39,617
She made our apartment
look like a Greek
whorehouse!
267
00:18:39,650 --> 00:18:44,490
I would never have touched
Rowena if you hadn't thrown
yourself at Dr. Feelgood first!
268
00:18:44,522 --> 00:18:48,126
First ?
I was never first!
You were first, Lillian!
269
00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:51,830
I was the faithful one!
Faithful like
a Kennedy is faithful!
270
00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:53,965
I was faithful,
and, boy, am I sorry now.
271
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:57,103
Do you know who
I could have slept with?
272
00:18:57,136 --> 00:19:01,439
I could have had the entire
Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
I turned down a Beatle for you!
273
00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:06,945
I remember Ringo
being on a bender!
Stop it! Stop now!
274
00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:10,817
He started it!
Right now!
275
00:19:10,850 --> 00:19:13,218
No! She did!
No! Look, look!
276
00:19:13,252 --> 00:19:16,989
If you can't do it,
then go outside
and cool it off.
277
00:19:17,022 --> 00:19:19,458
You're asking us
to take it outside?
We are outside!
278
00:19:19,490 --> 00:19:22,895
That's stunningly
obvious.
All right, move it!
279
00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:29,067
Well, now, these are people
who are dialoguing.
280
00:19:29,100 --> 00:19:32,538
It's so important to dialogue
and to language with each other.
281
00:19:32,570 --> 00:19:34,874
This is my wedding!
282
00:19:34,907 --> 00:19:37,810
Don't you dare
ruin this for me!
283
00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:41,981
You may not come back here
'til you can hold
a civil conversation.
284
00:19:42,013 --> 00:19:46,785
All I can say is,
I am glad that I'm marrying
into Keith's family.
285
00:19:46,785 --> 00:19:51,089
[ Door Slams ]
[ Sighs ]
286
00:19:51,123 --> 00:19:53,591
Look what you did!
287
00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:55,994
And you behaved yourself?
You'd scare a piranha!
288
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:58,030
I was totally
and completely civil!
289
00:19:58,063 --> 00:20:00,532
You wrecked Molly's wedding!
You wrecked it
by showing up.
290
00:20:00,565 --> 00:20:03,535
I suppose you think
you should have given her away.
You have the balls for it.
291
00:20:03,568 --> 00:20:05,503
Aah! Aaah!
292
00:20:05,537 --> 00:20:08,340
You bastard!
Let go of me!
293
00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:11,310
Why don't you whistle
for your broomstick?
Maybe it'll come and get ya.
294
00:20:11,343 --> 00:20:14,480
Let go!
I know all about
that right hook.
295
00:20:14,512 --> 00:20:17,282
Oh! Ah! Sutures!
296
00:20:17,316 --> 00:20:21,052
You had a scalp lift,
you vain son of a bitch!
297
00:20:21,087 --> 00:20:23,956
You picked up a few pounds,
huh, fatty?
298
00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:27,058
Put me down!
Take your hands off me!
299
00:20:27,093 --> 00:20:30,561
Go ahead.
Try something!
Take your hands off me!
300
00:20:30,596 --> 00:20:34,333
So-- So-- So--
301
00:20:36,502 --> 00:20:38,470
[ Moans ]
302
00:20:38,504 --> 00:20:41,540
It's sick. It's sick.
It's really sick.
303
00:20:41,572 --> 00:20:44,010
We've got to stop.
It's wrong.
304
00:20:46,845 --> 00:20:49,949
It's my worst nightmare.
Stop. Stop.
305
00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:52,150
We've got to stop.
You're right.
306
00:20:52,184 --> 00:20:55,453
Oh!
[ Moans ]
307
00:20:55,486 --> 00:21:01,193
Keith, what was
going on out there?
Looked kind of heated.
308
00:21:01,227 --> 00:21:06,131
Theatrical people.
They shout hello
to each other.
309
00:21:08,066 --> 00:21:12,604
Boy, that cannot
happen again.
310
00:21:12,637 --> 00:21:14,572
We're going to have
to see them in shifts.
311
00:21:14,606 --> 00:21:18,410
We can't have them
doing that in public.
I'll get roasted by the press.
312
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:20,479
I hope they
kill each other.
313
00:21:20,512 --> 00:21:25,250
[ Both Moaning ]
314
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:32,091
[ Lilly ]
Are you all right?
Oh, yeah!
315
00:21:32,123 --> 00:21:35,193
Yeah!
Oh, yeah! Oh!
316
00:21:35,226 --> 00:21:38,530
Oh! Oh!
317
00:21:40,131 --> 00:21:43,535
♪ [ Orchestra Continues ]
318
00:21:43,569 --> 00:21:46,405
♪
319
00:21:46,438 --> 00:21:52,278
[ Woman ]
♪ Call me irresponsible
320
00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:59,285
♪ Call me unreliable
321
00:21:59,318 --> 00:22:04,389
♪ Go on and throw in
undependable ♪
322
00:22:04,423 --> 00:22:07,293
♪ Too
323
00:22:12,330 --> 00:22:16,634
♪ Well, do my foolish alibis
Come on. Admit it.
324
00:22:16,668 --> 00:22:20,006
Isn't it great not having
that penned up anymore?
325
00:22:20,039 --> 00:22:23,308
♪ Bore you
326
00:22:23,341 --> 00:22:27,079
You poor thing.
Are you all right?
327
00:22:27,113 --> 00:22:30,681
You don't even
have to talk about it.
328
00:22:30,716 --> 00:22:36,455
I know what it must have
been like trapped out there
with that wicked tongue.
329
00:22:36,488 --> 00:22:41,759
I hope you gave it
right back to her
as good as she gave it.
330
00:22:41,792 --> 00:22:43,996
Oh, I know I did.
331
00:22:44,030 --> 00:22:46,965
[ Man On Microphone ]
May we have your attention,
please?
332
00:22:46,965 --> 00:22:52,070
The bride's parents?
Where are the bride's parents?
333
00:22:52,104 --> 00:22:56,208
Ah, the lovely mother
and the handsome dad.
334
00:22:56,241 --> 00:22:59,644
Why don't you two
little lovebirds show us
what it's all about?
335
00:22:59,677 --> 00:23:01,612
I thought you told them
not to do this.
336
00:23:01,646 --> 00:23:03,414
I thought you did.
No!
337
00:23:03,448 --> 00:23:09,187
Go ahead.
I want you to.
338
00:23:09,221 --> 00:23:13,691
♪ [ Orchestra:
Slow Tempo ]
339
00:23:16,194 --> 00:23:20,532
[ Scattered Applause ]
340
00:23:20,566 --> 00:23:24,070
[ Whispering ]
Oh, God, Keith!
[ Sighs ]
341
00:23:33,478 --> 00:23:37,183
Can you believe it?
[ Chuckles ]
342
00:23:37,216 --> 00:23:42,487
How are you?
Well, I'm-- I'm
just completely horrified.
343
00:23:42,521 --> 00:23:44,690
How are you?
I'm very upset.
344
00:23:44,723 --> 00:23:50,129
Why the hell
did we do that?
Why else? Alcohol.
345
00:23:50,162 --> 00:23:53,464
I guess it was
just some old itch...
346
00:23:53,498 --> 00:23:56,435
lurking around down there
in some sick hidden place.
347
00:23:56,467 --> 00:24:01,440
It just sort of, uh,
popped up.
That's not funny.
348
00:24:01,472 --> 00:24:04,776
We just committed adultery.
I know what
we committed.
349
00:24:04,809 --> 00:24:08,414
I am as upset about it
as you are.
350
00:24:08,446 --> 00:24:12,151
Well, I don't think
anyone suspects.
351
00:24:12,183 --> 00:24:15,253
Not with us. Are you kidding?
It's unthinkable.
352
00:24:15,287 --> 00:24:17,188
Look at them over there.
353
00:24:17,223 --> 00:24:21,492
Alan thinks
I've made some kind of
psychological breakthrough.
354
00:24:25,863 --> 00:24:29,701
Look.
[ Bandleader ]
And now the groom's parents.
355
00:24:29,735 --> 00:24:31,703
We got away with it.
356
00:24:31,737 --> 00:24:34,305
So what do you say
we just...
357
00:24:34,340 --> 00:24:37,576
get through this dance,
go home,
358
00:24:37,609 --> 00:24:40,445
forget that
it ever happened?
359
00:24:40,478 --> 00:24:43,381
Good idea.
360
00:24:43,414 --> 00:24:46,517
It was good though,
wasn't it?
I mean, wasn't it?
361
00:24:46,551 --> 00:24:51,290
It was good?
It was very good.
[ Clears Throat ]
362
00:24:51,322 --> 00:24:54,360
You sure know how to send me
to the chiropractor.
363
00:24:54,392 --> 00:25:00,332
Oh, so you miss me
that way?
No comment.
364
00:25:00,365 --> 00:25:04,270
[ Bandleader ]
And now the newlyweds.
365
00:25:04,302 --> 00:25:07,173
[ Scattered Applause ]
366
00:25:07,206 --> 00:25:12,711
Look, I don't know
what I'm gonna do
when this dance is over.
367
00:25:13,645 --> 00:25:19,318
Oh, God.
I feel the same way.
368
00:25:19,350 --> 00:25:23,488
Let's just have one more dance.
No. We can't.
They'll know.
369
00:25:28,827 --> 00:25:33,232
This is it then?
It has to be.
370
00:25:34,932 --> 00:25:40,706
Well, never ever
in my wildest dreams--
371
00:25:42,973 --> 00:25:47,145
Who the hell knows
anything anyway, right?
372
00:25:47,145 --> 00:25:49,914
Not me.
373
00:25:52,984 --> 00:25:55,487
Good-bye, Danny.
♪ [ Ends ]
374
00:25:55,521 --> 00:26:00,459
Good-bye, Lilly.
[ Scattered Applause ]
375
00:26:02,628 --> 00:26:06,797
See? You had nothing
to worry about.
376
00:26:06,832 --> 00:26:08,933
Mm-hmm.
377
00:26:08,967 --> 00:26:11,869
I was so proud
of you today.
378
00:26:11,903 --> 00:26:15,207
Do we have to bring
these quivering little rats
with us everywhere we go?
379
00:26:15,241 --> 00:26:18,376
She didn't mean that.
Yes, I meant it.
380
00:26:18,410 --> 00:26:21,813
Okay, what is it?
Nothing, nothing.
381
00:26:21,847 --> 00:26:25,884
Alan, can we go home now?
I think I know why
you're agitated.
382
00:26:25,916 --> 00:26:29,888
What do you mean?
Well, in layman's terms,
383
00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:34,625
it's a rush from
finally having released
all that anger toward Dan.
384
00:26:34,659 --> 00:26:39,698
[ Sighs ]
Do you remember we talked
about psychological mastery?
385
00:26:39,731 --> 00:26:42,533
I know you thought I was
blathering on at the time.
386
00:26:42,567 --> 00:26:44,770
But now do you
see what I meant?
387
00:26:44,803 --> 00:26:48,807
You had a tremendous act
of separation individuation.
388
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:52,009
You confronted your bogeyman.
You grabbed your gremlin.
389
00:26:52,043 --> 00:26:55,681
Now do you see
how important talking is?
390
00:26:55,714 --> 00:26:57,616
What? Oh!
391
00:26:57,648 --> 00:27:00,351
Yes. Oh, it's important.
[ Chuckles ]
392
00:27:00,385 --> 00:27:05,490
You finally overcame
the narcissistic injury
of that relationship...
393
00:27:05,524 --> 00:27:08,626
and you felt
the empowerment of closure.
394
00:27:08,659 --> 00:27:11,029
It was a victory
for me as well,
395
00:27:11,061 --> 00:27:13,732
because you remember
that recurring dream I had...
396
00:27:13,765 --> 00:27:16,735
about the wild dogs
gnawing at my genitals?
397
00:27:16,768 --> 00:27:19,938
Before I thought those dogs
symbolized our children.
398
00:27:19,970 --> 00:27:23,474
But how could that be?
I love our children so much.
399
00:27:23,509 --> 00:27:26,677
Now I see the dogs
symbolize Dan,
[ Phone Ringing ]
400
00:27:26,711 --> 00:27:30,749
and my genitals...
symbolize... my genitals.
401
00:27:30,782 --> 00:27:33,319
I think
that's the key--
Hello?
402
00:27:33,352 --> 00:27:37,323
- Lilly?
- ♪ [ Humming ]
403
00:27:37,356 --> 00:27:42,560
- It's me.
- [ Gasps ]
Oh, God. What do you want?
404
00:27:42,593 --> 00:27:46,898
- I'm curious about something.
- What?
405
00:27:46,932 --> 00:27:49,735
Does this mean
that we're speaking?
406
00:27:49,768 --> 00:27:53,070
[ Alan Continues,
Indistinct ]
407
00:27:53,104 --> 00:27:55,040
Apparently.
408
00:27:55,072 --> 00:27:57,475
Okay, good, because
I have to talk to you.
409
00:27:57,509 --> 00:27:59,778
No. No!
410
00:27:59,810 --> 00:28:02,681
Coffee. I'm not trying
to start anything here.
411
00:28:02,713 --> 00:28:04,883
Meet me downstairs
in five minutes.
412
00:28:04,915 --> 00:28:07,752
You just want to sit
and talk to me?
413
00:28:07,786 --> 00:28:11,489
Yeah, I think it's a fitting end
to a sinister afternoon.
414
00:28:11,523 --> 00:28:15,527
Sinister? You call sexual
attraction to me sinister?
415
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:18,696
All right, then, calamitous.
416
00:28:19,898 --> 00:28:23,935
Remember that funny thing--
[ Indistinct ]
417
00:28:23,969 --> 00:28:26,304
It was just a cigar.
418
00:28:48,393 --> 00:28:51,496
[ Lilly Laughing
Uproariously ]
419
00:28:51,530 --> 00:28:54,833
Uh, Keith?
Hmm?
420
00:28:54,866 --> 00:28:57,034
I know you're going
to think I'm a little weird,
421
00:28:57,068 --> 00:29:00,839
but that sounded
just like my mother's laugh.
422
00:29:00,871 --> 00:29:02,940
[ Chuckles ]
Molly.
423
00:29:02,973 --> 00:29:08,079
You've got to stop
fixating on your parents.
It's not normal.
424
00:29:08,112 --> 00:29:10,516
Hmm?
Yeah.
425
00:29:12,550 --> 00:29:14,653
[ Lilly Continues
Laughing Uproariously ]
426
00:29:14,685 --> 00:29:16,754
That's it.
Did you hear that?
427
00:29:16,787 --> 00:29:21,158
That braying?
Okay, I'm sorry.
428
00:29:21,191 --> 00:29:25,763
Never mind. Never mind.
I'm insane, aren't I?
429
00:29:25,796 --> 00:29:29,166
[ Dan Laughing ]
That is my dad!
430
00:29:29,199 --> 00:29:32,504
Oh, for God's sake,
Molly.
It sounded just like him.
431
00:29:32,538 --> 00:29:36,508
Well, it can't possibly
be him, can it?
I know.
432
00:29:36,542 --> 00:29:39,777
I know. Okay.
433
00:29:40,711 --> 00:29:42,780
Mmm. Mmm.
434
00:29:45,451 --> 00:29:47,385
So?
I'm sorry.
435
00:29:47,385 --> 00:29:50,856
I don't think
I'm going to be able
to get comfortable here...
436
00:29:50,889 --> 00:29:53,491
'til I know what's going on.
437
00:29:53,525 --> 00:29:56,427
[ Sighs ]
Molly!
438
00:29:56,462 --> 00:30:00,799
That cannot possibly be
your parents in the same room
having a high old time.
439
00:30:00,831 --> 00:30:03,435
You do know that,
don't you?
[ Lilly Laughing ]
440
00:30:03,469 --> 00:30:06,972
Uh, I can't.
Can you look?
441
00:30:07,005 --> 00:30:11,777
Look? How?
Look?
442
00:30:11,809 --> 00:30:16,482
Uh, just look
out the window.
Kind of crane around.
443
00:30:16,515 --> 00:30:20,818
I am not gonna spy
on some poor couple.
444
00:30:23,153 --> 00:30:25,591
You really want me to do this.
445
00:30:25,624 --> 00:30:29,528
I'll hold your legs.
446
00:30:29,561 --> 00:30:32,931
What do you mean?
Rowena didn't
like my bald spot,
447
00:30:32,964 --> 00:30:36,568
so she made me do this thing
where they put something
under your scalp.
448
00:30:36,602 --> 00:30:38,570
They blow it up
like a balloon.
449
00:30:38,604 --> 00:30:42,907
They cut away the bald skin,
and then they suture you
back up.
450
00:30:42,941 --> 00:30:47,045
I tell you,
I have no feeling
at the top of my head.
451
00:30:47,078 --> 00:30:49,515
It's dead up here.
Look. Look.
452
00:30:49,548 --> 00:30:53,719
You can drop coconuts
on it.
Let me kiss it alive.
453
00:30:53,751 --> 00:30:57,588
Oh, would you?
Would you? Would you?
I'm comin' in, baby!
454
00:30:57,622 --> 00:31:01,225
[ Laughing Uproariously ]
455
00:31:01,259 --> 00:31:05,497
[ Laughing Continues ]
Oh, my God!
456
00:31:05,531 --> 00:31:07,932
I thought they hated
each other.
They're supposed to!
457
00:31:07,966 --> 00:31:09,934
They did.
They have.
458
00:31:09,968 --> 00:31:12,003
[ Thumping ]
Oh, God.
We can't stay here.
459
00:31:12,037 --> 00:31:16,141
I'm not going to stay
and listen to my parents
having sex on my wedding night.
460
00:31:16,173 --> 00:31:18,143
I'm not leaving.
What?
461
00:31:18,175 --> 00:31:20,245
Tell them to leave.
No!
462
00:31:20,277 --> 00:31:22,113
I'm not going to walk in
on them when they're--
463
00:31:22,147 --> 00:31:24,650
[ Thumping Continues ]
[ Glasses Clinking ]
464
00:31:24,683 --> 00:31:28,253
Oh, God! Oh!
465
00:31:28,285 --> 00:31:30,188
We want another room.
466
00:31:30,220 --> 00:31:32,023
Is there something wrong?
467
00:31:32,057 --> 00:31:36,293
You couldn't begin
to imagine.
468
00:31:36,326 --> 00:31:40,898
But the Maple Room
is the largest--
Just switch it!
469
00:31:40,931 --> 00:31:43,934
Please.
I'm afraid we can't.
470
00:31:43,968 --> 00:31:48,974
We just have the six rooms,
and the last one
just rented.
471
00:31:49,007 --> 00:31:53,110
Uh, Keith.
Yes?
472
00:31:53,144 --> 00:31:57,715
I've got a bad feeling,
like we shouldn't stay here
another second.
473
00:31:57,749 --> 00:32:00,618
We really don't want to know
what's going on up there,
do we? No, we don't.
474
00:32:00,651 --> 00:32:03,053
Let's just
drive out of here
before something hideous--
475
00:32:03,088 --> 00:32:06,223
Where would we go?
Uh, let's go
to the airport.
476
00:32:06,257 --> 00:32:12,030
I am not spending my wedding
night in those orange plastic
chairs waiting for a flight.
477
00:32:12,063 --> 00:32:14,965
Oh, thank God,
you guys are up.
478
00:32:14,999 --> 00:32:17,335
Listen, have you
seen your father?
479
00:32:17,367 --> 00:32:19,870
Uh, no.
This is very weird.
480
00:32:19,904 --> 00:32:23,208
If I didn't know better,
I'd think he was having
an affair.
481
00:32:23,241 --> 00:32:26,010
No!
No!
482
00:32:26,044 --> 00:32:29,815
Then why did he shave
to go for a walk? Ma'am?
483
00:32:29,847 --> 00:32:33,951
You haven't seen my husband,
have you?
484
00:32:33,984 --> 00:32:38,056
Oh, yes. He just rented
the Birch Room for his sister.
485
00:32:38,089 --> 00:32:40,925
Of course.
486
00:32:40,958 --> 00:32:42,828
[ Clock Chiming ]
487
00:32:42,860 --> 00:32:46,598
But, look, we've gotten
you up. Please, uh--
488
00:32:46,632 --> 00:32:49,967
If there's nothing else
I can do? Good night, dear.
489
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:52,070
Good night.
490
00:32:55,641 --> 00:32:57,341
Birch.
491
00:33:00,711 --> 00:33:05,150
Duck and cover.
[ Sighs ]
492
00:33:18,863 --> 00:33:22,701
Well, quite the little
detective, aren't you?
493
00:33:22,734 --> 00:33:24,870
Better than I was.
494
00:33:24,902 --> 00:33:28,839
Would you have the decency
to tell me where my husband is?
495
00:33:28,874 --> 00:33:33,410
My ex-husband went back
to try and make some lame,
pathetic excuse to you.
496
00:33:33,443 --> 00:33:36,247
Obviously it was too late.
497
00:33:36,281 --> 00:33:41,787
This is the worst behavior
I have ever encountered
in another adult.
498
00:33:41,820 --> 00:33:45,290
Oh, Rowena,
I didn't mean to hurt you.
499
00:33:45,323 --> 00:33:49,294
It was just
"spontaneous combustion."
500
00:33:56,134 --> 00:33:59,705
Did you have to gloat?
501
00:34:02,272 --> 00:34:04,876
Oh, yes, I definitely did.
502
00:34:04,909 --> 00:34:07,277
You can make jokes.
You're not the one
in the hot seat.
503
00:34:07,312 --> 00:34:12,017
Oh, come on. She's gone
to tell Alan. She's not
gonna let me get out of this.
504
00:34:12,049 --> 00:34:14,219
Then I guess you're
in the hot seat too.
505
00:34:14,252 --> 00:34:18,023
What should we do?
Nothing.
506
00:34:18,055 --> 00:34:20,390
You're right.
She'll tell Alan.
507
00:34:20,425 --> 00:34:24,429
There will be
threats and scenes,
hollering and crying,
508
00:34:24,461 --> 00:34:26,997
quarts of Maalox
down people's throats.
509
00:34:27,031 --> 00:34:30,435
And you know what?
What?
510
00:34:30,467 --> 00:34:35,707
I'm not in the mood.
I'm not in the mood
for that at all.
511
00:34:35,741 --> 00:34:40,010
Can we avoid it?
Oh, no, we can't avoid it.
512
00:34:41,145 --> 00:34:47,218
But we can postpone it.
[ Laughs ]
513
00:34:47,685 --> 00:34:50,120
How do you mean, gone?
514
00:34:50,155 --> 00:34:53,224
Away! They left!
That's what gone
usually means.
515
00:34:53,258 --> 00:34:56,762
Can we not get hysterical?
They could be back
in 20 minutes.
516
00:34:56,794 --> 00:34:59,363
Yes, you would be calm.
Oh, Alan.
517
00:34:59,396 --> 00:35:01,365
You're the natural child
of those people.
518
00:35:01,398 --> 00:35:04,770
On some subterranean level,
you're glad this happened.
She's glad.
519
00:35:04,803 --> 00:35:07,037
Alan, Rowena,
you have been
wonderful to me.
520
00:35:07,072 --> 00:35:12,510
They have been much better
off with the two of you than
they ever were together.
521
00:35:12,542 --> 00:35:14,979
I never wanted this.
522
00:35:15,013 --> 00:35:20,017
Was there some reason why
you had to invite them both?
That wasn't my idea.
523
00:35:20,050 --> 00:35:24,121
You didn't tell me
they were certifiable.
I begged you to elope.
524
00:35:24,154 --> 00:35:26,758
[ Alan Sobbing ]
I don't want to argue.
525
00:35:26,792 --> 00:35:28,959
I'm sorry.
526
00:35:28,994 --> 00:35:32,330
Pull it together.
This from a mental health
professional.
527
00:35:32,363 --> 00:35:34,965
It's not my fault!
528
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:38,168
On top of everything else,
she took my Prozavil.
529
00:35:38,202 --> 00:35:41,406
It was in her purse.
I'm supposed to take it
every four hours.
530
00:35:41,439 --> 00:35:43,408
Or what?
You turn into a basket case?
531
00:35:43,441 --> 00:35:47,412
No, just slight
manic-depressive tendencies.
532
00:35:47,445 --> 00:35:50,849
[ Alan Sobbing ]
Oh, no, no. Oh, no!
533
00:35:50,882 --> 00:35:53,518
My life is over!
Shut up!
534
00:35:53,550 --> 00:35:58,123
I don't think there's
much more Keith and I can do
about this right now, so--
535
00:35:58,156 --> 00:36:01,993
No, no, no, no.
You have to help us.
536
00:36:02,026 --> 00:36:05,263
How can I?
I don't know!
But you did this.
537
00:36:05,296 --> 00:36:10,869
I know you didn't mean to, but
you brought them back together.
Help us get them back.
538
00:36:10,901 --> 00:36:14,204
I don't know where they are.
Haven't I been
a friend to you?
539
00:36:14,238 --> 00:36:17,908
Who got you that
Lacroix prom dress?
Who got you electrolysis?
540
00:36:17,943 --> 00:36:21,078
You'd have one big eyebrow
if it weren't for me!
541
00:36:21,111 --> 00:36:25,115
Molly, please?
[ Alan Continues Sobbing ]
542
00:36:25,149 --> 00:36:27,517
Molly.
543
00:36:27,552 --> 00:36:31,823
Um, can you excuse me?
544
00:36:31,857 --> 00:36:35,560
[ Alan Continues Sobbing ]
Dogs. I need dogs.
545
00:36:35,592 --> 00:36:40,530
Do you really think
they're coming back?
Uh--
546
00:36:40,565 --> 00:36:44,435
Oh, boy.
Look, this is
not our problem.
547
00:36:44,469 --> 00:36:47,037
It is a big problem, Molly.
548
00:36:47,072 --> 00:36:50,008
I'm running for Congress
on a family values platform.
549
00:36:50,041 --> 00:36:54,512
I can't have some tacky
Hollywood adultery scandal
with my new in-laws.
550
00:36:54,544 --> 00:36:56,981
The press will eat it up.
551
00:36:57,014 --> 00:36:59,016
Someone has to find them...
552
00:36:59,050 --> 00:37:03,221
and get them back here quietly
before this hits the tabloids.
553
00:37:03,253 --> 00:37:06,124
Uh, I think
it's too late.
554
00:37:06,156 --> 00:37:09,627
Oh, for Chr--
All he needs is to see
these two in here blubbering.
555
00:37:09,659 --> 00:37:12,864
He'll know what happened.
We've got to get them
home quietly.
556
00:37:12,898 --> 00:37:15,633
Where is he now?
Um--
557
00:37:15,665 --> 00:37:20,005
He's going around the back.
558
00:37:20,038 --> 00:37:22,440
I'll be back as soon as
I've hired a detective.
559
00:37:22,473 --> 00:37:25,877
I want to come with you.
No! What if
your parents come back?
560
00:37:25,911 --> 00:37:28,312
He can't see them together.
561
00:37:28,346 --> 00:37:30,314
Honey, I'm sorry.
562
00:37:30,348 --> 00:37:34,920
This is what being
a political wife is
all about: damage control.
563
00:37:34,953 --> 00:37:38,655
Oh, God!
Just find some way
to get rid of him.
564
00:37:38,688 --> 00:37:40,657
Get him arrested.
565
00:37:40,690 --> 00:37:42,393
You see how important
this is?
566
00:37:42,427 --> 00:37:45,997
I know, it's just
this is our honeymoon.
567
00:37:46,031 --> 00:37:49,266
Think how much better
our honeymoon will be...
knowing I still have a career.
568
00:37:49,300 --> 00:37:51,401
I know.
569
00:37:51,436 --> 00:37:53,470
Love you.
570
00:38:00,978 --> 00:38:06,417
So... she ran off,
didn't she?
571
00:38:06,451 --> 00:38:09,653
- No!
- Then where is she?
572
00:38:09,687 --> 00:38:12,190
I don't have to answer that.
573
00:38:12,222 --> 00:38:16,494
You know what I think?
I think she ran off
with some guy.
574
00:38:16,526 --> 00:38:19,931
You're delusional.
Then what's this?
575
00:38:19,965 --> 00:38:24,102
"Dear Molly, This will
make more sense to you when
you're on your second husband."
576
00:38:24,134 --> 00:38:26,671
What is that?
She left you a note
at the desk.
577
00:38:26,703 --> 00:38:29,706
So you just take it?
It wouldn't be
the first time.
578
00:38:29,739 --> 00:38:32,342
So, uh, she ran off
with Dan.
579
00:38:35,113 --> 00:38:40,952
Listen, you are not gonna
put my parents on the cover
of some sleazy tabloid--
580
00:38:40,986 --> 00:38:43,554
Dan's your dad?
581
00:38:43,588 --> 00:38:46,024
Oh, man! They're
gonna love this one!
582
00:38:46,057 --> 00:38:49,527
Let's go!
Where are you going?
583
00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:53,363
That's for me to know and
you to read in the paper.
Wait!
584
00:38:53,397 --> 00:38:58,169
This is big,
big, big bucks!
Please!
585
00:38:58,202 --> 00:39:01,306
Uh, what is your name?
586
00:39:01,339 --> 00:39:05,209
My name?
You wanna know my name?
Yes.
587
00:39:05,243 --> 00:39:07,178
It's Joey Donna.
588
00:39:07,211 --> 00:39:13,150
Joey, you seem to be very
talented at finding my mother.
589
00:39:13,184 --> 00:39:15,120
That's what I do.
Um, right.
590
00:39:15,152 --> 00:39:20,558
Well, I was wondering
if maybe you could find her
for me.
591
00:39:20,591 --> 00:39:22,727
For you?
Yes.
592
00:39:22,759 --> 00:39:25,295
You would be encouraging me
to do this?
593
00:39:25,329 --> 00:39:28,166
This once, yes.
594
00:39:28,198 --> 00:39:31,368
You have absolutely no idea
where she is, do ya?
595
00:39:31,401 --> 00:39:34,404
I-- No, no.
596
00:39:34,438 --> 00:39:38,342
So, after all the times
you people have thrown me
out of places...
597
00:39:38,375 --> 00:39:41,679
and slammed doors in my face
and shook me out of trees,
598
00:39:41,711 --> 00:39:44,149
all of a sudden I'm supposed
to switch sides?
599
00:39:44,182 --> 00:39:47,685
- So it's a matter of money?
- Four bills, minimum.
600
00:39:47,717 --> 00:39:50,055
I.e., $400?
601
00:39:50,088 --> 00:39:53,058
I.e.? Who says i.e.?
602
00:39:53,090 --> 00:39:56,727
- Isn't that kind of high?
- I.e. Who talks like that?
603
00:39:56,760 --> 00:39:58,428
Yes or no?
604
00:39:58,463 --> 00:40:01,598
All right, I'm in.
Come on.
605
00:40:01,631 --> 00:40:04,569
But no pictures!
606
00:40:04,602 --> 00:40:06,203
Definitely not.
607
00:40:06,237 --> 00:40:08,705
I mean it. I see a camera,
I will smash it.
608
00:40:08,739 --> 00:40:11,309
As long as you
understand that.
609
00:40:11,341 --> 00:40:14,344
Okay. Deal?
610
00:40:19,117 --> 00:40:21,186
Hey, Bri,
what's my girlfriend up to?
611
00:40:21,219 --> 00:40:24,289
- Who are you talking to?
- Shh. Uh-huh.
612
00:40:24,321 --> 00:40:29,826
Versace? Missoni, yeah?
How much at La Pergla?
613
00:40:29,859 --> 00:40:33,531
She must really
like this guy, huh?
614
00:40:33,564 --> 00:40:35,566
Hey, thanks, Bri.
Who loves ya?
615
00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:39,170
You're the best.
All right. Bye, Bri.
616
00:40:39,204 --> 00:40:41,838
We seem to be on a little
shopping spree in town.
617
00:40:41,871 --> 00:40:44,142
Come on. Come on.
618
00:40:53,283 --> 00:40:58,423
That phone call.
That was her bank, wasn't it?
619
00:40:58,456 --> 00:41:03,361
You have a spy
in her bank telling you
her credit card records.
620
00:41:09,867 --> 00:41:12,303
Let me ask you something.
621
00:41:12,336 --> 00:41:15,740
What's so bad about this?
Why is this making
you nuts?
622
00:41:15,772 --> 00:41:19,110
Your parents
are back together.
Isn't that nice?
623
00:41:19,144 --> 00:41:23,781
No. They have
been happily married
to other people for 14 years.
624
00:41:23,813 --> 00:41:27,585
Yeah? Well, personally,
I never liked old Alan.
625
00:41:27,618 --> 00:41:29,587
I don't think
he respects her.
626
00:41:29,620 --> 00:41:34,125
Excuse me?
All those times I've been
right in his wife's face,
627
00:41:34,159 --> 00:41:35,892
he never took a swing at me.
628
00:41:35,925 --> 00:41:40,430
How can you talk about Alan
not respecting her?
Look what you do.
629
00:41:40,464 --> 00:41:42,466
Come on.
What?
630
00:41:42,499 --> 00:41:44,369
She loves it.
631
00:41:44,401 --> 00:41:46,604
Okay, she loves being
constantly harassed.
632
00:41:46,637 --> 00:41:50,441
I'm her biggest fan.
Who do you think keeps her
on the cover of the Globe?
633
00:41:50,475 --> 00:41:54,379
She should pay me.
I just hope
they're being discreet.
634
00:41:54,411 --> 00:41:58,616
♪ [ Man Singing Opera ]
635
00:42:00,518 --> 00:42:04,489
[ Laughing ]
Oh, come here, you.
636
00:42:07,524 --> 00:42:12,396
It's so nice to see
a mature, loving
relationship.
637
00:42:12,430 --> 00:42:16,367
It's adulterous,
but thank you very much.
638
00:42:17,967 --> 00:42:22,606
Oh, I love this.
I love everything about
being the other woman.
639
00:42:22,640 --> 00:42:25,609
It's so... French.
640
00:42:25,643 --> 00:42:30,480
So, what did you
miss about me?
Absolutely nothing.
641
00:42:30,514 --> 00:42:34,185
Liar.
I'm serious. Every hour
was a blessed relief.
642
00:42:34,219 --> 00:42:36,254
Come on.
643
00:42:37,987 --> 00:42:40,390
Your singing.
Mmm.
644
00:42:40,425 --> 00:42:45,830
2:00 in the morning,
in the bathtub,
glass of champagne.
645
00:42:45,863 --> 00:42:50,334
Is that why you stabbed
your actress in the throat
27 times?
646
00:42:50,368 --> 00:42:52,469
You read my book.
[ Laughs ]
647
00:42:52,503 --> 00:42:55,740
I knew you would.
I skimmed it
in the checkout line.
648
00:42:55,772 --> 00:42:57,307
Uh-huh. You missed me.
649
00:42:57,341 --> 00:43:02,279
And I suppose you didn't
sneak off to the movies
to ogle me once or twice?
650
00:43:02,312 --> 00:43:06,616
I saw you win the Civil War
single-handedly.
651
00:43:06,650 --> 00:43:09,354
Wait.
What?
652
00:43:09,386 --> 00:43:13,858
I just got a tingle.
My paparazzi.
653
00:43:13,890 --> 00:43:15,993
He's out here.
654
00:43:16,025 --> 00:43:18,595
We better get you
off the street.
655
00:43:18,628 --> 00:43:22,499
Oh. A hotel?
656
00:43:22,532 --> 00:43:24,668
I hope you're paying.
657
00:43:24,702 --> 00:43:28,239
You'd let me pay?
You've mellowed.
658
00:43:28,273 --> 00:43:31,909
You have to pay.
I cancelled all
my credit cards.
659
00:43:31,941 --> 00:43:37,882
He thinks I'm not onto him,
that little cockroach,
but he has been fumigated.
660
00:43:37,915 --> 00:43:42,018
Come on. Altogether.
As a group.
[ Dogs Yipping ]
661
00:43:42,051 --> 00:43:45,455
Come on! Go up the stairs.
You know how to go up stairs.
662
00:43:45,490 --> 00:43:48,225
One paw in front of another.
Would you just--
663
00:43:48,225 --> 00:43:52,863
At the risk of being critical--
No, I've got to say--
Would you, please--
664
00:43:52,896 --> 00:43:56,467
Children, children, please.
Would you just take it easy?
Mommy's not here.
665
00:43:56,500 --> 00:43:59,604
Go ahead.
Mommy's not here.
Let me take your leashes off.
666
00:43:59,637 --> 00:44:03,006
Just let me take your--
All right! Down!
667
00:44:03,040 --> 00:44:05,743
Open your own can.
668
00:44:05,776 --> 00:44:08,479
Message. Message.
669
00:44:08,512 --> 00:44:10,748
[ Machine Beeps ]
Hi, Alan. It's Molly.
670
00:44:10,781 --> 00:44:13,984
If Keith's with you, can you
please tell him to stay there?
[ Alan ] Well!
671
00:44:14,017 --> 00:44:17,622
It's for you.
Don't hire a detective.
I found someone to find them.
672
00:44:17,654 --> 00:44:20,391
I'll meet you
at Mom's later.
Found who?
673
00:44:20,425 --> 00:44:22,592
Thanks.
[ Machine Beeps ]
674
00:44:22,626 --> 00:44:24,628
American.
[ Scoffs ]
675
00:44:24,661 --> 00:44:28,933
[ Ringing ]
Hello? Oh.
676
00:44:28,966 --> 00:44:34,772
Yeah, uh, look, Phil,
I'm gonna have to
cancel our session.
677
00:44:34,805 --> 00:44:39,008
Yes, I'm going through
something here.
678
00:44:39,043 --> 00:44:44,013
[ Liquid Pouring ]
I know. I know!
679
00:44:44,048 --> 00:44:48,052
I don't think you're having
a marital crisis, are you?
680
00:44:48,084 --> 00:44:50,020
Hey, she's still there,
isn't she?
681
00:44:50,053 --> 00:44:54,391
She hasn't run off
with some morally
bankrupt ex-lover!
682
00:44:54,425 --> 00:44:57,494
You want my advice, Phil?
Do you? Shut up!
683
00:44:57,528 --> 00:44:59,697
Okay? For once
in your life, shut up!
684
00:44:59,729 --> 00:45:04,734
You have feelings about that?
We'll talk about it Monday.
685
00:45:05,935 --> 00:45:10,640
It's over.
Someone will see them.
686
00:45:10,675 --> 00:45:13,643
7:00 tonight
it will be all over E.T.
687
00:45:13,678 --> 00:45:15,745
My friends
will know my marriage
is over and drop me.
688
00:45:15,779 --> 00:45:17,815
Friends don't drop you
'cause you're single.
689
00:45:17,848 --> 00:45:19,984
What planet are you from?
690
00:45:20,016 --> 00:45:25,121
You know something?
I have just about
had it with you.
691
00:45:25,154 --> 00:45:27,458
You have no feeling
for your husband at all.
692
00:45:27,492 --> 00:45:29,994
All you care is
you're not gonna get
into La Bernadin...
693
00:45:30,027 --> 00:45:34,365
like all the other
liposuctioned-up
second wives.
694
00:45:34,399 --> 00:45:39,068
Tell me. Is any of
your face or body original?
Just curious.
695
00:45:39,103 --> 00:45:41,439
You must make
a lovely therapist.
696
00:45:41,472 --> 00:45:44,375
[ Alan ]
My marriage
is ending, okay?
697
00:45:44,409 --> 00:45:46,643
I am a nationally prominent
marital authority.
698
00:45:46,676 --> 00:45:50,780
How is it going to look
when my own marriage
crashes and burns?
699
00:45:50,815 --> 00:45:52,782
Go back on drugs.
700
00:45:52,816 --> 00:45:55,785
You are so at odds
with your shadow self.
701
00:45:55,819 --> 00:45:57,887
Zip it. Ohh!
702
00:45:57,922 --> 00:46:00,990
Have you done any--
Come on, Alsace.
Get off of her.
703
00:46:01,024 --> 00:46:03,493
He's not interested.
There's nothing there for you.
704
00:46:03,527 --> 00:46:05,762
[ Phone Ringing ]
[ Molly ]
I don't understand.
705
00:46:05,795 --> 00:46:08,966
You wouldn't.
She just happened to cancel
her cards, just like that?
706
00:46:08,998 --> 00:46:12,470
She's a very smart lady.
Why are we here?
707
00:46:12,502 --> 00:46:15,004
I told you! Research!
At a tabloid?
708
00:46:15,039 --> 00:46:17,641
Exactly. Hey, Lis!
Don't talk to me.
709
00:46:17,675 --> 00:46:20,545
I'll pay ya back!
Yeah!
710
00:46:20,578 --> 00:46:22,647
Ah, women.
You're just vamping.
711
00:46:22,679 --> 00:46:25,049
Those cards were your
whole umbilicus to her.
712
00:46:25,082 --> 00:46:28,052
"Umbilicus"?
Where'd you dig that one up?
713
00:46:28,085 --> 00:46:31,721
Could you just explain this,
please?
Your mom's sentimental.
714
00:46:31,755 --> 00:46:33,924
I figure they went somewhere
they been before.
715
00:46:33,958 --> 00:46:36,726
Being as her whole life
is right here on hard drive--
716
00:46:36,760 --> 00:46:38,695
[ Beeps ]
717
00:46:38,728 --> 00:46:42,900
This is worse
than the F.B.I.
718
00:46:42,933 --> 00:46:47,804
Joey! Donna!
Get off my desk!
719
00:46:47,837 --> 00:46:51,575
Rufus, give me five minutes
huh? Five minutes.
One!
720
00:46:51,609 --> 00:46:54,912
You're the best.
You don't even work here.
721
00:46:54,945 --> 00:46:57,113
I almost do.
They buy from me sometimes.
722
00:46:57,147 --> 00:46:59,984
[ Beeping ]
[ Keyboard Keys Clicking ]
723
00:47:00,016 --> 00:47:05,790
[ Molly Sighs, Gasps ]
Well, your magnum opus.
724
00:47:05,822 --> 00:47:08,124
I had a bad month, all right?
I needed new tires.
725
00:47:08,158 --> 00:47:11,729
So you just expose her
at her most vulnerable
for a quick buck.
726
00:47:11,761 --> 00:47:13,731
Okay, here we go.
Wedding day.
727
00:47:13,763 --> 00:47:17,535
Tsk! Oh, you were cute!
728
00:47:17,567 --> 00:47:21,005
H-How could that be me?
729
00:47:21,038 --> 00:47:24,642
[ Molly ]
Wait, wait, wait.
730
00:47:24,674 --> 00:47:26,676
I was already born
when they got married?
731
00:47:26,711 --> 00:47:31,949
Where is this?
I know that pillar.
732
00:47:31,982 --> 00:47:34,918
I spent four hours
behind that pillar
waitin' for Cher.
733
00:47:34,952 --> 00:47:38,122
Morally unconscious
party animals.
734
00:47:38,155 --> 00:47:41,257
That's the Majestic Hotel!
735
00:47:41,290 --> 00:47:44,662
That's it. That's it.
They lied. I'm--
736
00:47:44,694 --> 00:47:49,666
A love child. Yeah.
Welcome to the club.
Let's go.
737
00:47:49,700 --> 00:47:51,735
Come on.
You're here either way.
738
00:47:51,768 --> 00:47:54,203
You were born.
That's all that counts.
Don't tell Keith.
739
00:47:54,238 --> 00:47:56,774
When would I tell him?
Like we go to
the same parties.
740
00:47:56,807 --> 00:47:59,810
How'd you hook up
with that guy anyway?
741
00:47:59,844 --> 00:48:02,713
I met him at the Yale Club.
Oh, the Yale Club.
742
00:48:02,746 --> 00:48:07,951
Is that where people go when
they realize nobody gives a shit
where they went to school?
743
00:48:07,985 --> 00:48:13,256
What makes you the big
authority on relationships?
Have you ever even had one?
744
00:48:13,290 --> 00:48:16,994
More than I can handle.
Oh? Really?
745
00:48:17,027 --> 00:48:19,195
Do you have one now?
746
00:48:19,229 --> 00:48:21,599
My time's tight.
I work a lot.
747
00:48:21,632 --> 00:48:23,634
What you do is not work.
748
00:48:23,668 --> 00:48:26,903
How would you know?
Have you ever worked,
princess?
749
00:48:26,936 --> 00:48:30,174
I'm going to
graduate school.
750
00:48:30,207 --> 00:48:32,610
I.e., no!
751
00:48:32,643 --> 00:48:37,014
I work 16, 18 hours a day.
I'm at all the parties--
752
00:48:37,047 --> 00:48:40,685
Don't you mean outside them,
lurking?
753
00:48:40,718 --> 00:48:43,153
I'm gettin'
a little sick of this.
754
00:48:43,187 --> 00:48:45,955
You want me to help you?
You treat me like
a professional.
755
00:48:45,989 --> 00:48:50,995
I'm good at what I do.
You either respect that
or get Keith to help you.
756
00:48:51,028 --> 00:48:54,831
I'm sure that old Yale
diploma will be a big help.
757
00:48:54,865 --> 00:48:57,300
I'm sorry, all right?
758
00:48:57,334 --> 00:49:00,804
But just don't run down
my boyfriend.
759
00:49:00,838 --> 00:49:03,608
Don't you mean
your husband?
760
00:49:07,376 --> 00:49:09,614
[ Sniffles ]
761
00:49:14,684 --> 00:49:16,587
[ Engine Grinds, Sputters ]
762
00:49:16,621 --> 00:49:19,356
It's like
Grand Central Station
in here.
763
00:49:19,388 --> 00:49:24,128
Think this is tough? Ha!
How can you find a person
in a hotel this size?
764
00:49:24,161 --> 00:49:27,197
First you get a look
at the register.
765
00:49:27,231 --> 00:49:30,768
If that doesn't work out,
you bribe the bellman.
Or if you can't--
766
00:49:30,800 --> 00:49:34,672
Okay, fine, but first
I have to call Keith.
767
00:49:34,705 --> 00:49:38,643
By all means,
call Keith.
Oh, right.
768
00:49:38,676 --> 00:49:42,979
[ Elevator Bell Dings ]
769
00:49:43,947 --> 00:49:46,983
[ Coins Clattering ]
[ Laughing ]
770
00:49:47,016 --> 00:49:48,585
[ Man ]
Oh, my God!
771
00:49:48,585 --> 00:49:51,789
[ Man ]
Excuse me?
Psst.
772
00:49:51,822 --> 00:49:53,791
I don't believe this.
773
00:49:53,823 --> 00:49:56,693
Look, I never do this,
but I am such a big fan.
774
00:49:56,726 --> 00:49:59,362
Oh, thank you.
You're Dan Demauro,
aren't you?
775
00:49:59,396 --> 00:50:03,266
Well, yes, I am.
Look, I'm reading
Blonde In Cement Heels.
776
00:50:03,299 --> 00:50:05,970
[ Phone Line Ringing ]
Tell me I'm good.
777
00:50:06,002 --> 00:50:07,937
Good at what?
778
00:50:07,972 --> 00:50:10,006
Take a gander.
779
00:50:11,808 --> 00:50:14,243
[ Man ]
Could you sign this for me?
780
00:50:14,278 --> 00:50:17,682
Oh!
[ Dan ]
What's your name?
781
00:50:17,715 --> 00:50:20,685
I love the way
they're keeping a low profile.
782
00:50:20,718 --> 00:50:23,253
Let's go get them.
Come on.
Uh, that's okay.
783
00:50:23,287 --> 00:50:26,089
What's okay?
I mean, I can do this.
784
00:50:26,123 --> 00:50:29,092
So, uh, this is it.
785
00:50:29,126 --> 00:50:34,097
What are you talkin' about?
You found them, right?
So, uh, it's $400.
786
00:50:34,131 --> 00:50:37,902
I hope a check's okay.
Hold on a second.
What's your rush?
787
00:50:37,934 --> 00:50:42,807
She's gonna see you.
She's gonna cause problems.
I think you should go.
788
00:50:42,840 --> 00:50:45,843
I wanna meet her.
789
00:50:45,875 --> 00:50:48,377
What?
790
00:50:48,412 --> 00:50:51,849
I wanna meet your mother.
But you know her already.
791
00:50:51,882 --> 00:50:56,119
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.
I just never met her.
I want to be introduced.
792
00:50:56,153 --> 00:50:59,322
Like a person?
793
00:50:59,355 --> 00:51:01,825
Oh.
Wow!
794
00:51:01,858 --> 00:51:07,031
Look, I didn't mean it
that way. I appreciate
the job you did.
795
00:51:07,063 --> 00:51:12,336
I do. It's just--
Look, my mother hates you.
If she sees you-- Please.
796
00:51:12,368 --> 00:51:15,773
[ Lilly Laughs ]
How did you recognize me?
Please.
797
00:51:15,805 --> 00:51:20,477
[ Woman ]
Could you give me
an autograph?
798
00:51:20,509 --> 00:51:23,714
Vermin alert!
799
00:51:25,081 --> 00:51:27,718
How ya doin'?
800
00:51:27,752 --> 00:51:30,821
You're the cockroach?
Only to my friends.
801
00:51:30,855 --> 00:51:34,224
Following, spying,
tracking her
like a bloodhound.
802
00:51:34,258 --> 00:51:37,361
Make up your mind.
I'm either a cockroach
or a bloodhound.
803
00:51:37,394 --> 00:51:41,998
Hey, a mixed metaphor
is the least of your problems,
my friend.
804
00:51:42,031 --> 00:51:45,335
You know what would be nice?
If you would leave
my wife alone!
805
00:51:45,369 --> 00:51:48,705
She's your ex-wife, Dad.
We have to have a talk.
Put him down.
806
00:51:48,705 --> 00:51:51,308
Oh, boo.
I thought we were so clever.
807
00:51:51,341 --> 00:51:54,443
This is so annoying.
You two could look
at least a little guilty.
808
00:51:54,478 --> 00:51:56,480
Please. He is with me.
Let him go.
809
00:51:56,512 --> 00:51:59,016
I'm sorry.
I didn't know he was your date.
810
00:51:59,049 --> 00:52:01,818
He's not!
Yeah?
811
00:52:01,851 --> 00:52:03,820
It's a long story.
Uh-huh.
812
00:52:03,853 --> 00:52:06,090
His name's Joey Donna.
Mm-hmm.
813
00:52:06,122 --> 00:52:09,827
Yeah. Joey, my parents.
[ Scoffs ]
814
00:52:09,859 --> 00:52:13,863
Look, look, look.
There's somethin'
I want to say to you.
815
00:52:13,898 --> 00:52:16,901
Yes?
I'm sorry.
816
00:52:16,933 --> 00:52:18,969
I shouldn't
have taken that--
817
00:52:19,002 --> 00:52:23,106
Fat. Fat.
The word is fat.
818
00:52:23,139 --> 00:52:27,344
I shouldn't have
shown you as a--
As an enormous fat pig?
819
00:52:27,377 --> 00:52:29,545
Right. I mean, no!
I mean, you're beautiful.
820
00:52:29,578 --> 00:52:33,417
I promise I will never
ever, ever do that again.
821
00:52:33,450 --> 00:52:37,120
Are you saying you'll never
take a picture of her again
as long as you live?
822
00:52:37,153 --> 00:52:41,224
What are you, high?
I mean I'm only gonna
take good ones.
823
00:52:41,258 --> 00:52:42,558
And nothin' from the left.
824
00:52:42,591 --> 00:52:45,494
And no low angles.
You know that makes chins.
825
00:52:45,529 --> 00:52:48,332
- No chins. Done deal.
- It better be.
826
00:52:48,365 --> 00:52:51,935
Could we discuss
your own behavior?
Don't be boring.
827
00:52:51,969 --> 00:52:54,370
Let's have a drink.
Is it mimosa time,
darling?
828
00:52:54,404 --> 00:52:57,306
With you, my darling,
always. Join us?
829
00:52:57,341 --> 00:52:59,909
Yeah, I could use
a little somethin'.
In my new book--
830
00:52:59,943 --> 00:53:03,813
Dad, that's not what we--
So, what's going on here?
831
00:53:03,848 --> 00:53:06,884
Nothing, Mother!
Oh, I understand.
He's adorable.
832
00:53:06,916 --> 00:53:10,787
What?
Why do you think
I never had him arrested?
833
00:53:11,889 --> 00:53:13,858
Where the hell is she?
834
00:53:13,891 --> 00:53:17,994
Ooh! Your wife's
disappeared.
My heart bleeds.
835
00:53:18,028 --> 00:53:20,865
The red-eye is shot.
We can't make Kennedy.
836
00:53:20,898 --> 00:53:23,433
For what?
837
00:53:23,467 --> 00:53:28,537
Our honeymoon?
We were going to Hawaii.
838
00:53:28,572 --> 00:53:33,077
Does either of you have
the slightest recollection that
you disrupted my honeymoon?
839
00:53:33,109 --> 00:53:36,380
Hmm?
Get out while you can.
840
00:53:36,413 --> 00:53:41,117
My dad warned me
not to intermarry with
a bunch of Bohemians.
841
00:53:41,150 --> 00:53:43,587
Offered me 50 grand
just to call it off.
842
00:53:43,619 --> 00:53:48,124
I am saying that you are not
just hurting them,
843
00:53:48,157 --> 00:53:50,060
you are hurting me and Keith.
844
00:53:50,093 --> 00:53:53,262
And for what?
Are you going to stay
together forever?
845
00:53:53,296 --> 00:53:55,399
Oh, God!
Would you stop it?
That is so grotesque.
846
00:53:55,431 --> 00:53:59,069
Grotesque? Oh,
we don't want to be that.
847
00:53:59,102 --> 00:54:01,638
[ Laughs ]
Oh.
848
00:54:01,671 --> 00:54:04,141
What's going to happen
when you have a fight, hmm?
849
00:54:04,174 --> 00:54:06,877
You know what you're
going to do. I mean--
850
00:54:06,911 --> 00:54:11,280
I know what you're doing
with your feet under there.
I don't appreciate it.
851
00:54:11,314 --> 00:54:13,383
Oh, honey, I thought
you wanted us to get along.
852
00:54:13,417 --> 00:54:18,388
Hold a civil conversation, yes.
Flaunt some perverse affair, no.
853
00:54:18,422 --> 00:54:22,993
Flaunt? Who's flaunting?
We haven't been swinging
from the chandeliers.
854
00:54:23,027 --> 00:54:24,995
We went through a lot
of trouble to disappear.
855
00:54:25,029 --> 00:54:27,263
It's rude of you
to dig us up like this.
856
00:54:27,296 --> 00:54:30,134
- They got a point.
- Whose side are you on?
857
00:54:30,166 --> 00:54:33,070
- Theirs.
- All right.
858
00:54:33,102 --> 00:54:35,039
I mean,
what are your plans?
859
00:54:35,072 --> 00:54:37,141
Run away?
Become fugitives?
860
00:54:37,173 --> 00:54:40,945
We don't have any plans.
If we make them,
they might not work out.
861
00:54:40,978 --> 00:54:42,947
Exactly.
Oh.
862
00:54:42,980 --> 00:54:46,083
Excuse me for thinking
that occasionally...
863
00:54:46,115 --> 00:54:48,885
people should think
through insane things
before they do them.
864
00:54:48,885 --> 00:54:52,957
But then again, if you had
ever done that in your lives,
865
00:54:52,989 --> 00:54:55,491
maybe I wouldn't
be illegitimate.
866
00:54:55,525 --> 00:55:01,030
Honey, that was
the '70s.
That is no excuse.
867
00:55:01,064 --> 00:55:05,034
Alan and Rowena
are in shreds.
868
00:55:05,069 --> 00:55:08,037
I don't know how
you can do this to them.
869
00:55:08,072 --> 00:55:13,010
These are people you have
lived with for 14 years.
870
00:55:13,042 --> 00:55:16,179
Have you
no human feeling?
871
00:55:24,054 --> 00:55:26,255
[ Sighs ]
872
00:55:34,464 --> 00:55:38,667
Molly, we know what
you're saying is heartfelt,
873
00:55:38,702 --> 00:55:42,472
valid and mature.
874
00:55:42,506 --> 00:55:45,674
And to be honest,
875
00:55:45,709 --> 00:55:48,945
it's making us feel
ashamed of ourselves.
876
00:55:48,945 --> 00:55:54,351
But?
No buts.
877
00:55:54,383 --> 00:55:59,655
If you'll come upstairs
with us now and help us pack,
878
00:55:59,689 --> 00:56:01,691
we'll go home.
879
00:56:01,724 --> 00:56:04,294
Really?
880
00:56:04,328 --> 00:56:07,430
You'll come too?
881
00:56:07,464 --> 00:56:10,666
Yeah, okay.
882
00:56:12,136 --> 00:56:14,571
Listen, you guys,
I am very sorry--
883
00:56:14,603 --> 00:56:17,141
Honey, don't be sorry.
884
00:56:17,173 --> 00:56:20,544
You've always had
better morals than we've had.
Well, thanks.
885
00:56:20,577 --> 00:56:22,646
We left a ton of stuff
in the bathroom.
886
00:56:22,679 --> 00:56:26,150
Why don't you two go scoop
that up? We'll be out
of here in no time.
887
00:56:26,183 --> 00:56:28,085
We don't want to forget--
Look around.
888
00:56:28,118 --> 00:56:30,554
[ Lilly ]
Be careful.
889
00:56:30,587 --> 00:56:35,159
Where's that brown
suede jacket that we got?
I don't want to forget--
890
00:56:35,192 --> 00:56:39,663
Oh, here it is.
And that little
green suit of mine?
891
00:56:39,696 --> 00:56:44,300
I wore it
in my last picture.
892
00:56:44,333 --> 00:56:47,037
Hurry up.
893
00:56:47,071 --> 00:56:50,339
Okay, okay. Ow!
894
00:56:50,374 --> 00:56:53,809
Mom, there's hardly
anything in here--
895
00:56:53,843 --> 00:56:57,481
[ Both Laughing ]
896
00:56:57,514 --> 00:57:00,649
Mother!
897
00:57:00,683 --> 00:57:03,152
Mom!
898
00:57:04,787 --> 00:57:07,691
[ Doorknob Rattling ]
899
00:57:07,723 --> 00:57:11,195
Oh, they are good.
900
00:57:11,227 --> 00:57:13,729
Can ya--
901
00:57:16,833 --> 00:57:21,205
So what's the problem?
It's jammed.
902
00:57:21,238 --> 00:57:24,174
Oh! Oh! Okay.
903
00:57:24,208 --> 00:57:26,610
[ Panting ]
904
00:57:27,611 --> 00:57:30,279
Where's the phone?
905
00:57:31,615 --> 00:57:34,084
There has to be ano--
There was.
906
00:57:35,719 --> 00:57:37,721
We've been had, baby.
907
00:57:37,754 --> 00:57:40,190
Well, that's just great.
908
00:57:40,224 --> 00:57:43,459
That is great. It's
like I'm eight years old,
909
00:57:43,492 --> 00:57:46,596
and I'm locked in
my room with a time-out.
910
00:57:46,630 --> 00:57:48,732
Well, you did
threaten them.
911
00:57:50,466 --> 00:57:52,702
Someone's going to
come up here, aren't they?
912
00:57:52,735 --> 00:57:56,805
Hi. We don't wish to be
disturbed for the rest
of the evening.
913
00:57:56,840 --> 00:57:59,476
We don't want a single soul
to set foot on the floor.
914
00:57:59,508 --> 00:58:02,646
We don't want maid service.
We don't want
the weather report.
915
00:58:02,678 --> 00:58:06,150
We don't want those
little pieces of chocolate
that you put on the bed.
916
00:58:06,183 --> 00:58:09,352
You understand.
I understand perfectly.
917
00:58:09,386 --> 00:58:11,621
I thought you would.
918
00:58:13,323 --> 00:58:16,260
[ Snickers ]
Wow. Flaunt
that testosterone.
919
00:58:16,292 --> 00:58:18,262
Molly!
920
00:58:18,294 --> 00:58:20,264
Hello!
921
00:58:20,296 --> 00:58:23,200
Molly?
Can't they hear us?
Hello!
922
00:58:23,233 --> 00:58:25,602
Forget it!
It's a prewar building.
923
00:58:25,635 --> 00:58:27,771
It's a bomb shelter.
[ Pounding Continues ]
Hello!
924
00:58:27,804 --> 00:58:30,539
I can't stay here.
Where ya gonna go?
925
00:58:30,573 --> 00:58:35,145
Keith has no idea where I am.
I just can't no-show
my honeymoon.
926
00:58:35,179 --> 00:58:39,348
Molly, chill out.
He's gonna think I am insane,
just like the rest of my family.
927
00:58:39,383 --> 00:58:41,917
He's gonna think
I'm one of them.
He'll deal with it.
928
00:58:41,950 --> 00:58:45,722
Do you know how lucky I am
that someone normal
wanted to marry me?
929
00:58:45,755 --> 00:58:49,125
And now I've just
totally blown it.
930
00:58:49,125 --> 00:58:53,463
People are gonna say,
"Have you ever been married?"
I gonna say, "Yeah.
931
00:58:53,497 --> 00:58:56,633
For 24 hours!"
932
00:58:58,901 --> 00:59:02,238
Uh, uh, look, just, uh--
933
00:59:02,271 --> 00:59:04,740
Just take it easy,
all right?
934
00:59:04,773 --> 00:59:08,844
I'm gonna get us
outta here, all right?
How?
935
00:59:28,365 --> 00:59:30,399
Come on.
936
00:59:34,537 --> 00:59:37,540
What are you doing?
Watch this.
937
00:59:42,446 --> 00:59:46,615
Hey, up here, you!
Come on! Ha!
938
00:59:46,649 --> 00:59:48,818
♪ There she goes
939
00:59:48,852 --> 00:59:52,889
Ooh! Ooh! Cops!
940
00:59:52,922 --> 00:59:54,324
They hate this.
941
00:59:54,357 --> 00:59:56,760
Piss 'em off.
They'll come up here.
942
00:59:56,792 --> 00:59:59,362
That's very clever.
943
00:59:59,395 --> 01:00:03,632
[ Joey Shouting ]
Hey! Up here!
944
01:00:03,667 --> 01:00:06,236
Some kids are
chuckin' fruit.
Yeah.
945
01:00:06,270 --> 01:00:08,004
Whoo!
Hey!
946
01:00:08,036 --> 01:00:12,742
You used to do that?
Oh, yeah.
[ Chuckles ]
947
01:00:12,776 --> 01:00:16,479
I once threw a water balloon
at a priest.
[ Laughs ]
948
01:00:16,513 --> 01:00:19,548
Hey, wait!
Where ya goin'?
We're throwin' fruit up here!
949
01:00:19,583 --> 01:00:23,487
What is this?
The only two guys in the
whole city that aren't jerks.
950
01:00:23,519 --> 01:00:28,591
Hey! Where are you goin'?
♪ There she goes
951
01:00:28,624 --> 01:00:31,361
- ♪ There she goes again
- Oh, my God.
952
01:00:31,395 --> 01:00:35,598
All right, Molly.
Let 'er rip.
You'll feel better.
953
01:00:35,631 --> 01:00:38,335
There you go!
954
01:00:38,368 --> 01:00:39,903
- Oh! God!
- [ Squeals ]
955
01:00:39,936 --> 01:00:43,606
♪ But I just can't contain
956
01:00:43,639 --> 01:00:47,444
♪ This feeling that remains
957
01:00:47,476 --> 01:00:51,481
♪ There she goes
958
01:00:51,514 --> 01:00:53,916
- ♪ There she goes
- Go!
959
01:00:53,950 --> 01:00:56,653
Whoo!
960
01:00:56,685 --> 01:00:59,788
♪ There she goes
961
01:01:01,325 --> 01:01:02,559
There you go.
962
01:01:02,592 --> 01:01:04,927
Oh, God!
That was good!
963
01:01:12,001 --> 01:01:14,403
So what'll he do to you?
964
01:01:14,438 --> 01:01:17,473
Well, he'll want
to talk about it.
965
01:01:17,507 --> 01:01:19,708
Talk? That's it?
Just talk?
966
01:01:19,742 --> 01:01:23,646
Days and nights of talking.
Marathon talking.
[ Chuckles ]
967
01:01:23,679 --> 01:01:25,815
About how and why we can
build from a new foundation.
968
01:01:25,849 --> 01:01:29,453
I'll probably
go off my nut.
Hey, you two.
969
01:01:29,486 --> 01:01:33,557
Oh, it's been some years,
all right. Where ya been?
970
01:01:35,559 --> 01:01:39,695
[ Chuckles ]
It's good to see
the two of you together.
971
01:01:39,728 --> 01:01:42,499
I didn't think
you were gonna make it.
972
01:01:42,531 --> 01:01:47,471
I guess we did cause
a few scenes around here.
973
01:01:47,504 --> 01:01:49,305
Yeah, you cleared
the place out pretty good.
974
01:01:49,305 --> 01:01:53,909
How long you been
married now?
975
01:01:54,910 --> 01:01:58,347
It would have--
[ Whispers ]
25 years.
976
01:01:58,382 --> 01:02:01,750
Twenty-five
glorious years.
977
01:02:01,785 --> 01:02:03,887
Well, good for you.
978
01:02:03,919 --> 01:02:07,723
Most people just
don't want to put in
the work, do they?
979
01:02:07,756 --> 01:02:11,026
Is that all it takes?
980
01:02:11,060 --> 01:02:13,129
Anyway, happy 25th.
981
01:02:13,161 --> 01:02:16,965
You know, I believe
this is your song.
982
01:02:17,000 --> 01:02:21,538
♪ [ Slow Tempo ]
983
01:02:21,570 --> 01:02:24,974
[ Lilly ]
♪ I used to walk with you
984
01:02:25,008 --> 01:02:27,911
♪ Along the avenue
985
01:02:27,944 --> 01:02:33,682
♪ Our hearts were
carefree and gay ♪
986
01:02:33,716 --> 01:02:39,122
♪ How could I know
I'd lose you ♪
987
01:02:40,056 --> 01:02:44,528
♪ Somewhere along the way
988
01:02:48,031 --> 01:02:51,501
♪ The friends
we used to know ♪
989
01:02:51,534 --> 01:02:54,904
♪ Would always smile hello
990
01:02:54,938 --> 01:03:01,445
♪ No love like our love
they'd say ♪
991
01:03:01,477 --> 01:03:07,816
♪ Then love slipped
through our fingers ♪
992
01:03:08,717 --> 01:03:13,923
♪ Somewhere along
the way ♪
993
01:03:13,957 --> 01:03:17,593
♪ I should forget
994
01:03:17,627 --> 01:03:21,431
♪ But with the loneliness
of night ♪
995
01:03:21,465 --> 01:03:25,068
♪ I start remembering
996
01:03:25,101 --> 01:03:28,203
♪ Everything
997
01:03:28,236 --> 01:03:31,908
♪ You're gone and yet
998
01:03:31,941 --> 01:03:34,743
♪ There's still
a feeling ♪
999
01:03:34,777 --> 01:03:40,450
♪ Deep inside that
you will always be ♪
1000
01:03:40,484 --> 01:03:44,820
♪ Part of me
1001
01:03:44,853 --> 01:03:49,425
♪ So now I look for you
1002
01:03:49,425 --> 01:03:52,961
♪ Along the avenue
1003
01:03:52,996 --> 01:03:59,669
♪ And as I wander I pray
1004
01:03:59,702 --> 01:04:06,676
♪ That someday soon
I'll find you ♪
1005
01:04:06,709 --> 01:04:11,515
♪ Somewhere along
the way ♪
1006
01:04:15,018 --> 01:04:18,654
♪ Somewhere along
1007
01:04:18,688 --> 01:04:24,728
♪ The way
1008
01:04:26,630 --> 01:04:28,732
[ Scattered Applause ]
[ Sighs ]
1009
01:04:28,764 --> 01:04:31,199
Yeah.
1010
01:04:31,234 --> 01:04:36,540
[ Alan ] And this is from
someone that you expect
to be a mature person.
1011
01:04:36,573 --> 01:04:40,143
It's unforgivable.
That's all.
1012
01:04:40,176 --> 01:04:45,248
Thanks for seeing me home.
At least someone's
a gentleman.
1013
01:04:45,280 --> 01:04:49,252
Am I?
[ Sighs ]
One of the last.
1014
01:04:49,284 --> 01:04:53,922
Then why am I being treated
so contemptuously?
1015
01:04:53,956 --> 01:04:57,060
It's 3:00 in the morning.
She can't pick up a phone?
1016
01:04:57,092 --> 01:04:58,795
Have another drink.
1017
01:04:58,828 --> 01:05:00,529
No. No, I--
1018
01:05:00,564 --> 01:05:04,132
- Come on!
- What the hell?
1019
01:05:04,166 --> 01:05:08,971
I'm beginning to understand
how you feel.
1020
01:05:09,005 --> 01:05:11,707
Oh, you can't.
1021
01:05:13,242 --> 01:05:16,179
You can't possibly imagine...
1022
01:05:16,211 --> 01:05:20,684
what it's like to be
somebody's ex-wife in this town.
1023
01:05:20,716 --> 01:05:26,590
Even if it comes to that,
which it won't, Rowena,
you're successful.
1024
01:05:28,256 --> 01:05:32,327
You invented
the Greek Revival look.
You're in demand.
1025
01:05:32,360 --> 01:05:37,734
They're probably
ripping my card out
of every Rolodex as we speak.
1026
01:05:37,766 --> 01:05:40,936
Rowena, that's ludicrous.
1027
01:05:40,969 --> 01:05:45,609
You are one of
the most beautiful women...
1028
01:05:45,642 --> 01:05:47,976
that I've ever seen.
1029
01:05:48,010 --> 01:05:51,147
You think so?
1030
01:05:51,180 --> 01:05:55,251
Mmm. Yes.
[ Thunder Rumbling ]
1031
01:05:55,283 --> 01:05:58,721
[ Thunder Continues ]
1032
01:06:07,296 --> 01:06:12,669
Uh, your weddin' rings.
Left them on the sink.
1033
01:06:12,701 --> 01:06:16,305
Thank you.
1034
01:06:16,338 --> 01:06:20,744
Hey, don't worry.
Your parents aren't going
to leave us up here forever.
1035
01:06:20,776 --> 01:06:25,214
Hey, you want some water?
Yeah.
1036
01:06:25,248 --> 01:06:28,984
I'm sure they'll spring us
by morning, you know.
1037
01:06:29,017 --> 01:06:31,855
Thanks.
1038
01:06:31,887 --> 01:06:34,890
No bubbles or nothin', but--
1039
01:06:37,260 --> 01:06:41,164
How do you know
I like bubbles?
1040
01:06:44,833 --> 01:06:48,738
I could tell you,
but I think you'd get mad.
1041
01:06:48,772 --> 01:06:51,240
At this point,
I really doubt it.
1042
01:06:55,311 --> 01:06:59,648
Okay. That night your mom
took you out to dinner
on your 21st?
1043
01:07:01,316 --> 01:07:04,887
I was on the ledge.
1044
01:07:04,921 --> 01:07:07,956
How? We were
four stories up.
1045
01:07:07,991 --> 01:07:10,325
You don't believe me?
1046
01:07:10,359 --> 01:07:14,396
Okay. You were
wearin' this, um,
1047
01:07:14,430 --> 01:07:19,034
this white clingy
dress thing with a...
1048
01:07:19,067 --> 01:07:21,970
low cut--
1049
01:07:22,004 --> 01:07:24,808
Yeah, you look
really good in that.
1050
01:07:24,841 --> 01:07:26,910
How come you don't
wear that now?
1051
01:07:26,942 --> 01:07:30,946
If you really want to know,
it's because I need to lose
a couple of pounds.
1052
01:07:30,979 --> 01:07:34,818
- What?
- I do. Keith says I do.
1053
01:07:34,851 --> 01:07:38,154
- He's crazy.
- No, no. He's right.
1054
01:07:38,187 --> 01:07:40,724
No, he's wrong.
You're perfect.
1055
01:07:47,263 --> 01:07:52,067
[ Thunder Rumbling ]
Can I ask you something?
1056
01:07:52,100 --> 01:07:55,137
Yeah. Sure.
1057
01:07:55,171 --> 01:07:58,874
Don't you feel guilty--
I mean, when you take
those pictures of people--
1058
01:07:58,908 --> 01:08:02,444
Don't you feel
like you're stealing
someone's private moment?
1059
01:08:02,478 --> 01:08:07,784
Nah. I love what I do.
1060
01:08:07,816 --> 01:08:10,754
My dad and my brothers,
1061
01:08:10,787 --> 01:08:13,790
they pack meat for a living.
1062
01:08:13,822 --> 01:08:18,762
Nobody ever thought
I was gonna make it
in show business, you know?
1063
01:08:18,795 --> 01:08:20,496
They all think I'm nuts.
1064
01:08:20,528 --> 01:08:26,235
But, uh, I'm gonna open up
my own studio.
1065
01:08:26,269 --> 01:08:29,338
I don't know when, but, uh--
1066
01:08:29,372 --> 01:08:32,742
I'm gonna do celebrity
portraits, you know?
1067
01:08:32,776 --> 01:08:35,944
Not like now.
I mean, they're gonna let me.
1068
01:08:38,146 --> 01:08:40,784
Hmm.
1069
01:08:40,817 --> 01:08:43,118
I hope it happens for you.
1070
01:08:45,855 --> 01:08:47,956
Yeah, me too.
1071
01:08:50,827 --> 01:08:54,764
Well, good night, Joey.
1072
01:08:56,499 --> 01:09:00,769
Yeah, good night.
1073
01:09:26,029 --> 01:09:30,266
Oh, God.
What are you doing here?
1074
01:09:30,299 --> 01:09:33,870
Don't tell me
you don't remember.
Oh.
1075
01:09:33,903 --> 01:09:36,372
I certainly wish I didn't.
1076
01:09:36,405 --> 01:09:38,975
You got what you wanted.
1077
01:09:39,007 --> 01:09:43,145
How dare you.
You're the one who lunged.
1078
01:09:43,178 --> 01:09:46,983
You started it.
You smoldered.
1079
01:09:47,015 --> 01:09:49,785
That was the last enthusiasm
you showed for anything,
I might add.
1080
01:09:49,785 --> 01:09:52,989
I was hardly inspired.
1081
01:09:53,022 --> 01:09:57,193
I told you.
I have to be on the bottom.
I have a bad back.
1082
01:09:57,225 --> 01:09:59,494
Among other things.
1083
01:09:59,528 --> 01:10:03,231
All right,
just stop this.
1084
01:10:03,266 --> 01:10:06,134
Stop this right now.
Look.
1085
01:10:06,169 --> 01:10:09,372
I don't care what you think
or what I think.
1086
01:10:09,405 --> 01:10:15,143
This didn't happen!
I am a newlywed.
1087
01:10:15,178 --> 01:10:18,580
She's certainly
in for a treat.
1088
01:10:25,421 --> 01:10:27,356
[ Knocking ]
[ Lilly ]
Housekeeping.
1089
01:10:27,390 --> 01:10:30,960
[ Knocking Continues ]
Uh, yeah.
1090
01:10:30,994 --> 01:10:33,029
Come in!
Come in!
1091
01:10:35,965 --> 01:10:38,101
Good morning!
1092
01:10:38,133 --> 01:10:40,403
Good mornin'.
1093
01:10:40,436 --> 01:10:44,139
Well, I see nobody
got lucky.
1094
01:10:45,942 --> 01:10:51,147
All right, honey.
What we did wasn't very nice.
I admit it.
1095
01:10:51,179 --> 01:10:53,549
But there was a reason.
1096
01:10:53,582 --> 01:10:57,519
Your father and I just
wanted one more night.
That's all.
1097
01:10:57,553 --> 01:11:00,889
Just one more night without
people bursting in on us...
1098
01:11:00,924 --> 01:11:04,459
and screaming and yelling
and threatening suicide.
1099
01:11:04,492 --> 01:11:06,561
It made us so happy.
1100
01:11:06,595 --> 01:11:09,532
It was the happiest I've been
since it was okay to take drugs.
1101
01:11:09,564 --> 01:11:11,935
If you print that,
I'll kill ya.
1102
01:11:13,536 --> 01:11:18,241
Anyway, you'll be thrilled
to know that...
1103
01:11:18,273 --> 01:11:20,409
I'm ready to go home.
1104
01:11:22,378 --> 01:11:24,612
Really.
1105
01:11:27,050 --> 01:11:29,617
Can I have
the phone, please?
1106
01:11:29,652 --> 01:11:32,922
You gonna forgive me?
1107
01:11:32,956 --> 01:11:35,424
Never, as long as I live.
1108
01:11:35,458 --> 01:11:39,662
Well, at least
you're honest.
1109
01:11:39,694 --> 01:11:43,532
She gets that from me,
you know.
I know.
1110
01:11:43,566 --> 01:11:46,201
[ Door Closes ]
[ Dog Yipping ]
1111
01:11:46,234 --> 01:11:49,505
Where have you been
all night?
1112
01:11:49,538 --> 01:11:53,609
Walking.
Then why
aren't you wet?
1113
01:11:53,642 --> 01:11:55,710
It's been raining all night,
and you're dry.
1114
01:11:55,744 --> 01:11:58,580
What are you,
my wife?
[ Phone Ringing ]
1115
01:11:58,613 --> 01:12:00,548
Hello?
1116
01:12:00,582 --> 01:12:02,151
Keith, it's Molly.
1117
01:12:02,184 --> 01:12:05,353
Well, finally!
Oh, thank God!
1118
01:12:05,388 --> 01:12:07,055
It's Mommy!
[ Growling ]
1119
01:12:07,090 --> 01:12:11,027
One would have thought you
might have had the courtesy
to locate and pick up a phone.
1120
01:12:11,059 --> 01:12:15,063
Well, it wasn't
really my fault.
1121
01:12:15,098 --> 01:12:18,101
Hello, Keith?
It's my fault.
1122
01:12:18,133 --> 01:12:20,436
I imprisoned her
in a room overnight.
1123
01:12:20,469 --> 01:12:22,471
Tell her--
I don't believe that.
1124
01:12:22,505 --> 01:12:24,974
He doesn't believe me.
1125
01:12:25,008 --> 01:12:28,211
It's fine.
[ Sighs ]
1126
01:12:28,243 --> 01:12:33,983
Keith, it's a really
long story. Tell Alan
I'm bringing Mom home now.
1127
01:12:34,017 --> 01:12:37,453
This is an incredibly
unacceptable beginning.
1128
01:12:37,486 --> 01:12:42,290
When you come,
I believe I'm entitled to
a very detailed explanation.
1129
01:12:42,324 --> 01:12:46,029
[ Phone Clicks,
Dial Tone Hums ]
1130
01:12:46,062 --> 01:12:49,965
[ Sighs ]
He was so cold.
1131
01:12:49,965 --> 01:12:54,103
I've never heard him
like that.
1132
01:12:54,136 --> 01:12:57,606
If that's how he is on day two,
you might want to bail.
1133
01:12:57,639 --> 01:13:00,642
Mom, I don't want
to hear about it.
1134
01:13:00,675 --> 01:13:05,680
Let's just go, all right?
I'm-- I'm ready.
1135
01:13:05,714 --> 01:13:08,517
Oh, honey, you don't have
to take your mother's advice,
1136
01:13:08,551 --> 01:13:13,022
but I wouldn't go back to my
angry husband
looking like that.
1137
01:13:13,056 --> 01:13:15,158
Mom had better lend you
a dress.
1138
01:13:15,190 --> 01:13:17,392
Let's see. What do we have
in our magic box today?
1139
01:13:17,425 --> 01:13:19,295
No, that's for me.
1140
01:13:19,327 --> 01:13:22,165
I feel completely
ridiculous. Who
wears this color?
1141
01:13:22,198 --> 01:13:25,467
I wear that color.
It's too sexual
for midday.
1142
01:13:25,501 --> 01:13:27,570
Come on, honey.
You look great.
1143
01:13:27,603 --> 01:13:29,737
Yeah, you look, uh, nice.
1144
01:13:33,209 --> 01:13:35,243
Mother, don't.
1145
01:13:39,747 --> 01:13:42,585
I just have
to say good-bye.
1146
01:13:42,618 --> 01:13:44,687
Mother!
1147
01:13:50,025 --> 01:13:52,595
Well--
This was--
1148
01:13:52,628 --> 01:13:54,597
Oh, it was.
1149
01:13:54,629 --> 01:13:57,300
I'm glad we--
Oh, me too.
1150
01:13:57,332 --> 01:14:01,504
I think it definitely
served its purpose.
1151
01:14:13,881 --> 01:14:18,520
No. No, no--
Oh! Oh!
1152
01:14:18,554 --> 01:14:20,455
Okay!
1153
01:14:20,488 --> 01:14:24,392
Oh, Lilly.
I can't go back.
I can't either.
1154
01:14:24,426 --> 01:14:26,729
I mean ever.
I never meant to leave you.
1155
01:14:26,762 --> 01:14:31,134
I still love you, Lilly.
I never loved anybody else
in my whole life.
1156
01:14:31,167 --> 01:14:34,203
Come here, baby.
1157
01:14:39,407 --> 01:14:41,677
God.
1158
01:14:43,646 --> 01:14:45,648
Ah, ya chump.
1159
01:14:45,681 --> 01:14:49,718
♪ [ Conga ]
1160
01:14:57,325 --> 01:14:59,662
♪ Baila conmigo
1161
01:15:01,696 --> 01:15:04,400
♪ Baila conmigo
1162
01:15:06,469 --> 01:15:11,306
♪ Baila al son de mis cimbales
1163
01:15:11,340 --> 01:15:15,577
♪ Baila al son de la conga
1164
01:15:15,611 --> 01:15:18,614
Look at them.
1165
01:15:18,647 --> 01:15:23,585
[ Molly ]
Just crashing
those people's wedding.
1166
01:15:23,619 --> 01:15:26,722
[ Joey ]
They don't seem to mind.
1167
01:15:26,755 --> 01:15:30,525
You know, it kind of
reminds me of your weddin'.
1168
01:15:31,760 --> 01:15:35,231
♪ Baila conmigo
1169
01:15:36,632 --> 01:15:40,303
♪ Baila conmigo
Givin' up, huh?
1170
01:15:40,336 --> 01:15:43,772
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm givin' up.
1171
01:15:43,806 --> 01:15:47,710
So, uh, you want me
to give you
a ride somewhere?
1172
01:15:47,743 --> 01:15:50,145
No. Thanks.
1173
01:15:50,145 --> 01:15:52,814
I'm just not ready.
1174
01:15:54,582 --> 01:15:57,252
Keith?
1175
01:15:57,286 --> 01:16:00,656
I can't face him. I--
1176
01:16:01,990 --> 01:16:07,230
He's already furious at me,
and now he'll be more furious.
1177
01:16:07,263 --> 01:16:11,200
I failed.
I won't bring him back,
1178
01:16:11,234 --> 01:16:15,338
and he won't get elected,
and it'll be my fault.
1179
01:16:18,474 --> 01:16:21,910
Uh, miss? Yeah.
Uh, we need a drink here.
1180
01:16:21,943 --> 01:16:24,380
♪ [ Stops ]
[ Applause ]
Miss?
1181
01:16:24,412 --> 01:16:26,581
What's her problem?
1182
01:16:26,614 --> 01:16:29,484
That happens to me a lot.
1183
01:16:29,517 --> 01:16:33,521
It does, huh?
Yeah. Where is that--
1184
01:16:33,555 --> 01:16:37,226
♪ [ Guitar, Orchestra:
Slow Tempo ]
1185
01:16:39,994 --> 01:16:43,332
Stand up.
Why?
1186
01:16:43,366 --> 01:16:45,533
Take that off.
Come on.
1187
01:16:45,567 --> 01:16:49,437
Come on. Just take it off.
Put my dad's on.
How ya doin'?
1188
01:16:49,472 --> 01:16:51,907
[ Sighs ]
Okay.
1189
01:16:51,940 --> 01:16:54,209
I look like an idiot.
1190
01:16:58,781 --> 01:17:02,917
Do you mind
if I say something?
Yeah. A lot.
1191
01:17:02,951 --> 01:17:06,955
I think a little change
in your appearance might
help your problem with women.
1192
01:17:06,988 --> 01:17:10,425
What problem with women?
1193
01:17:10,459 --> 01:17:13,995
Shut up. Okay.
1194
01:17:17,865 --> 01:17:20,001
[ Clears Throat ]
1195
01:17:20,035 --> 01:17:22,704
[ Chuckles ]
1196
01:17:22,738 --> 01:17:25,607
Just wait.
Come on.
1197
01:17:25,640 --> 01:17:29,878
Aw, for cryin' out loud.
1198
01:17:36,352 --> 01:17:40,655
Just... wait.
Just wait.
1199
01:17:48,531 --> 01:17:50,265
It's not bad.
1200
01:17:50,265 --> 01:17:53,535
Yeah?
1201
01:17:54,803 --> 01:17:58,306
Yeah.
[ Clears Throat ]
Yeah.
1202
01:17:58,341 --> 01:18:00,375
♪ [ Ends ]
Okay.
1203
01:18:00,408 --> 01:18:02,544
Here she comes.
1204
01:18:02,578 --> 01:18:07,482
Try it again.
Just smile. Don't leer.
[ Applause ]
1205
01:18:07,516 --> 01:18:09,952
♪ [ Conga: Lively ]
Miss?
1206
01:18:09,984 --> 01:18:15,490
Yes, sir?
Uh, vodka grapefruit
for the lady.
1207
01:18:15,524 --> 01:18:19,927
Sure.
I'm not even gonna ask
how you knew that.
1208
01:18:19,962 --> 01:18:22,398
Did you see that?
1209
01:18:22,431 --> 01:18:25,934
I bet if I went to
a restaurant right now,
they would seat me.
1210
01:18:25,968 --> 01:18:28,904
Have you been helped, sir?
1211
01:18:28,937 --> 01:18:32,508
Uh, yes, I have.
Thank you.
1212
01:18:32,540 --> 01:18:34,642
Wow!
1213
01:18:34,676 --> 01:18:38,013
I could get used to this.
Whew.
1214
01:18:38,045 --> 01:18:41,350
Whoo! Ooh!
1215
01:18:41,384 --> 01:18:43,551
Oh!
1216
01:18:44,887 --> 01:18:47,923
[ Laughs ]
1217
01:18:47,956 --> 01:18:52,093
[ Man ]
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
♪ Hup, hup, ooh
1218
01:18:52,127 --> 01:18:55,030
There they are.
Over there.
1219
01:18:57,565 --> 01:18:59,467
[ Laughing ]
Ooh!
1220
01:18:59,501 --> 01:19:02,470
Enjoying yourself,
Mother?
Ooh, I'm having a ball!
1221
01:19:02,504 --> 01:19:04,907
Look at you!
You cleaned up nice.
1222
01:19:04,939 --> 01:19:06,909
Come on, paparazzi.
Let's see what you got.
1223
01:19:06,942 --> 01:19:09,445
You wanna dance with me?
Sure. Can ya?
1224
01:19:09,477 --> 01:19:11,079
Yeah, I can hold my own.
1225
01:19:11,112 --> 01:19:15,518
Prove it!
Easy on the jacket,
cockroach.
1226
01:19:15,550 --> 01:19:18,421
Yes, sir.
Okay.
1227
01:19:18,454 --> 01:19:22,357
♪ Cantero, canamero
1228
01:19:29,664 --> 01:19:31,599
♪ Uh
1229
01:19:31,634 --> 01:19:35,037
Molly?
♪ Uh
1230
01:19:35,070 --> 01:19:37,705
Come on, Dad.
This is so embarrassing.
1231
01:19:37,739 --> 01:19:39,642
Bad mood, huh?
1232
01:19:39,674 --> 01:19:41,910
I don't want
to talk about it.
Okay. Let's dance.
1233
01:19:41,944 --> 01:19:44,779
No, Dad, please.
I have so many things
on my mind.
1234
01:19:44,812 --> 01:19:48,783
Molly, honey, look,
I think I've been pretty good
about this whole Keith thing.
1235
01:19:48,816 --> 01:19:51,954
I'm not going to lecture you
about love, commitment
and marriage,
1236
01:19:51,987 --> 01:19:54,055
because I've blown
every one of them.
1237
01:19:54,089 --> 01:19:58,660
Don't you want
to have some fun?
Did you ever think about that?
1238
01:19:58,694 --> 01:20:01,162
Are you gonna have fun on
the campaign trail with him,
1239
01:20:01,196 --> 01:20:05,567
smiling at some
sewage plant opening or going
to a $1,000-a-plate dinner...
1240
01:20:05,600 --> 01:20:08,504
where the wives
are wallpaper?
1241
01:20:08,536 --> 01:20:12,508
I just want you to have fun
for five minutes before
you settle for that.
1242
01:20:12,540 --> 01:20:15,978
And I want you to dance
with the old man.
1243
01:20:16,011 --> 01:20:19,582
Come on. You know
you can't resist it.
Oh.
1244
01:20:19,614 --> 01:20:21,917
You know what
I'm gonna give ya?
Uh-huh.
1245
01:20:21,950 --> 01:20:23,919
I'm gonna give ya--
♪ Ya-ta-ta-ta-ta
Right.
1246
01:20:23,952 --> 01:20:26,088
♪ Make that turn
and let's go ♪
1247
01:20:48,577 --> 01:20:54,549
I told you, Rowena.
They're at the Majestic. Molly
said she's bringing them back.
1248
01:20:54,583 --> 01:20:58,653
I don't know when.
Imminently.
1249
01:20:58,687 --> 01:21:03,258
She is not a lying slut!
And you should talk--
1250
01:21:03,291 --> 01:21:07,262
I believe they'll be back
momentarily. Yes, I do.
1251
01:21:07,294 --> 01:21:10,699
Yes-- I don't need
to listen to this!
1252
01:21:10,732 --> 01:21:14,669
There's no talking to her!
What is it with you two?
1253
01:21:14,703 --> 01:21:19,508
You're worse
than my patients.
1254
01:21:19,542 --> 01:21:22,777
They're not coming.
All right.
1255
01:21:22,810 --> 01:21:24,747
All righty!
1256
01:21:24,779 --> 01:21:27,149
We're going.
We're all going.
1257
01:21:27,182 --> 01:21:30,952
We're gonna round 'em up
and lasso 'em and drag 'em
back here like cattle.
1258
01:21:30,986 --> 01:21:33,155
Is that what you want?
Yeah!
1259
01:21:34,822 --> 01:21:36,958
♪ Gente del fuego
1260
01:21:38,561 --> 01:21:41,630
♪ Gente del fuego
1261
01:21:41,664 --> 01:21:45,133
Whoo!
♪ Gente del fuego
1262
01:21:45,167 --> 01:21:47,234
Sorry!
1263
01:21:48,736 --> 01:21:52,273
[ Chattering ]
♪ Gente del fuego
1264
01:21:53,709 --> 01:21:56,044
♪ Gente del fuego
1265
01:21:57,212 --> 01:21:59,714
♪ Gente del fuego
1266
01:22:10,826 --> 01:22:13,861
[ Man ]
Ya-hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
1267
01:22:13,896 --> 01:22:16,998
♪ [ Slow Tempo ]
1268
01:22:21,704 --> 01:22:26,340
[ Man ]
♪ River of days
Should we, uh--
1269
01:22:26,373 --> 01:22:29,578
♪ Ocean of night
Yeah.
1270
01:22:30,978 --> 01:22:35,584
♪ We drift away
1271
01:22:35,618 --> 01:22:41,355
♪ All of our lives
1272
01:22:41,388 --> 01:22:45,694
♪ Years I sailed
1273
01:22:45,728 --> 01:22:49,964
♪ Many miles from shore
1274
01:22:49,997 --> 01:22:52,768
♪ Until I looked
1275
01:22:52,801 --> 01:22:56,271
Ooh. Where'd
you learn this?
From a girl.
1276
01:22:56,303 --> 01:23:02,176
Oh?
All right. My sister.
1277
01:23:02,209 --> 01:23:05,713
Look, uh, big surprise.
1278
01:23:05,747 --> 01:23:10,318
I mean, women never really
went for me all that much.
1279
01:23:10,351 --> 01:23:15,022
Maybe it's your
chosen profession.
Nah.
1280
01:23:15,056 --> 01:23:18,926
I think it's the things
I say and do.
[ Laughs ]
1281
01:23:18,961 --> 01:23:22,865
Well, they're all
lookin' at ya now.
1282
01:23:22,897 --> 01:23:26,168
You could have any girl
in this place you want.
1283
01:23:26,201 --> 01:23:29,937
No, I can't.
Yeah, ya can.
1284
01:23:32,240 --> 01:23:35,243
No. I can't.
1285
01:23:38,113 --> 01:23:41,316
Oh. Joey.
1286
01:23:41,348 --> 01:23:43,686
Look, I know.
I'm not stupid.
1287
01:23:43,719 --> 01:23:46,755
It is not because
I don't think you're--
1288
01:23:46,789 --> 01:23:49,924
I mean, you really
are very, very--
1289
01:23:49,957 --> 01:23:53,361
Yeah, thanks.
You don't have to--
I do.
1290
01:23:53,394 --> 01:23:58,701
It's-- It's just, uh--
I'm married.
1291
01:23:58,733 --> 01:24:01,302
It's definitely a problem.
1292
01:24:01,335 --> 01:24:03,706
I mean, even if I wasn't,
Joey, I--
1293
01:24:03,738 --> 01:24:06,742
Our styles are like--
Completely.
1294
01:24:06,774 --> 01:24:08,711
Wrong.
1295
01:24:08,744 --> 01:24:12,413
We'd drive each other
just--
1296
01:24:12,447 --> 01:24:16,117
Loony Tunes?
1297
01:24:16,151 --> 01:24:20,087
It would never work.
It'd never work.
1298
01:24:20,121 --> 01:24:24,760
♪ And go free
1299
01:24:24,793 --> 01:24:30,799
♪ One shining moment
1300
01:24:30,833 --> 01:24:36,003
♪ The instant
I looked at your face ♪
1301
01:24:36,037 --> 01:24:39,808
♪ For one shining moment
1302
01:24:39,842 --> 01:24:44,713
♪ For a lifetime
along the way ♪
1303
01:24:44,747 --> 01:24:47,081
Oh, my goodness.
Huh?
1304
01:24:47,114 --> 01:24:49,116
What do you
call that?
Oh.
1305
01:24:49,150 --> 01:24:52,320
♪ One shining moment
1306
01:24:52,354 --> 01:24:56,725
The two-day itch?
1307
01:24:56,759 --> 01:25:01,764
As long as she's distracted,
why don't we take this
as our cue?
1308
01:25:01,796 --> 01:25:03,831
To run away?
Yeah.
1309
01:25:03,865 --> 01:25:07,002
We can't just ride
into the sunset.
Where would we live?
1310
01:25:07,034 --> 01:25:09,805
Venice, Newark.
I don't care.
1311
01:25:09,837 --> 01:25:12,875
Don't you think we should
at least say something
to our spouses?
1312
01:25:12,907 --> 01:25:15,109
Why?
We've come this far.
1313
01:25:15,142 --> 01:25:19,113
You want to be just
totally irresponsible?
Totally.
1314
01:25:19,146 --> 01:25:24,118
Unless you don't want--
No, no, no,
I just thought--
1315
01:25:24,151 --> 01:25:28,857
I was just thinking
that maybe we do sort of
owe them something.
1316
01:25:28,891 --> 01:25:32,260
You mean you owe Rowena
something?
No, no, sweetness.
1317
01:25:32,294 --> 01:25:36,865
I would never say anything
like that.
Good.
1318
01:25:36,899 --> 01:25:42,069
But it does seem like the
gentlemanly thing to do to tell
her it's over after 14 years.
1319
01:25:42,103 --> 01:25:46,508
Why? You were with me 12.
You went straight to Fiji
with her and never came back.
1320
01:25:46,540 --> 01:25:49,945
That was after I found Alan
luxuriating in my bathrobe.
1321
01:25:49,977 --> 01:25:51,914
I beg your pardon.
1322
01:25:51,946 --> 01:25:55,049
It was after I found one
of Rowena's bright red hairs
in my bed!
1323
01:25:55,083 --> 01:25:59,420
The bitch sheds
like a sheepdog.
Lilly. Lilly.
1324
01:25:59,453 --> 01:26:02,523
I know. Okay.
1325
01:26:05,026 --> 01:26:09,131
[ Sighs ]
But you could have left me
a friggin' note.
1326
01:26:09,163 --> 01:26:14,136
Goddamn it, Lillian.
All right. I'm sorry.
1327
01:26:14,168 --> 01:26:17,272
I think this is a subject
best left alone forever.
1328
01:26:17,305 --> 01:26:20,508
Spoken like
the guilty party.
Here we go, huh?
1329
01:26:20,541 --> 01:26:22,577
Never mind.
No, no, no, no.
1330
01:26:22,609 --> 01:26:24,947
You want to talk about it,
darling?
No.
1331
01:26:24,980 --> 01:26:27,049
Good.
1332
01:26:27,081 --> 01:26:30,853
Because I'm not the one
who went on Joan Rivers...
1333
01:26:30,886 --> 01:26:35,390
on national television
and told her that
"I finally found...
1334
01:26:35,423 --> 01:26:38,092
a real man in my life."
1335
01:26:38,125 --> 01:26:41,563
Don't you think you could
have served me the papers
before you did that?
1336
01:26:43,298 --> 01:26:47,870
And don't you think
it would have been
utterly fabulous...
1337
01:26:47,903 --> 01:26:53,240
if you had asked me for
a divorce before Rowena
printed the invitations?
1338
01:26:53,275 --> 01:26:57,312
I told you a thousand times
I had nothing to do with that.
1339
01:26:57,345 --> 01:27:00,382
You went
through with it!
So did you!
1340
01:27:00,414 --> 01:27:03,218
You want to go back?
Me? How about you?
1341
01:27:03,250 --> 01:27:06,188
You backpedal
a mile a minute!
Here we go.
1342
01:27:06,221 --> 01:27:09,124
You wanna go back to
that nipped and tucked
trophy wife of yours!
1343
01:27:09,156 --> 01:27:12,259
You're a witch, Lillian!
Am I? Am I a witch?
1344
01:27:12,293 --> 01:27:14,196
Yeah!
Take that, you shit!
1345
01:27:14,228 --> 01:27:16,263
Don't worry.
I've been through this
100 times.
1346
01:27:16,297 --> 01:27:18,433
There's nothing you can do.
1347
01:27:18,465 --> 01:27:20,467
I hate you.
You know what you are?
1348
01:27:20,502 --> 01:27:22,905
You are the high priestess
of hysteria!
1349
01:27:22,938 --> 01:27:25,139
How dare you?
I'm not hysterical!
1350
01:27:25,172 --> 01:27:27,641
You're hysterical.
Your veins are bulging!
I hope your sutures pop!
1351
01:27:27,674 --> 01:27:30,412
Come on, you two.
[ Together ]
Get outta here!
1352
01:27:30,445 --> 01:27:33,415
[ Dan ]
I hope your face shrivels up!
1353
01:27:33,448 --> 01:27:36,250
I hope your gonads
shrivel up and drop off
and make terrible noises!
1354
01:27:36,283 --> 01:27:39,888
What is this?
It's not, uh--
1355
01:27:39,922 --> 01:27:42,057
Okay, it is.
This is about a picture?
1356
01:27:42,089 --> 01:27:44,993
N-No.
What? Another picture
of my mother?
1357
01:27:45,027 --> 01:27:49,330
I was going to. I thought
about it, but I didn't.
[ Arguing Continues ]
1358
01:27:49,364 --> 01:27:52,266
Well, I don't believe you.
1359
01:27:52,300 --> 01:27:54,535
[ Arguing Continues ]
Molly?
1360
01:27:54,569 --> 01:27:58,140
You're demented, Lilly!
I thought you
were on my side!
1361
01:27:58,172 --> 01:28:01,408
I am on your side!
Me drag you?
You're nymphomaniacal!
1362
01:28:01,443 --> 01:28:06,313
You were the aggressor!
I know why! You wanted
to ruin my beautiful marriage!
1363
01:28:06,348 --> 01:28:09,918
Yeah, 'cause you wouldn't
trust anybody that wasn't
wavin' a Yale diploma!
1364
01:28:09,952 --> 01:28:12,120
If that's what you think,
then you don't know me!
1365
01:28:12,153 --> 01:28:14,923
[ Lilly ]
If you were half a man!
I am half a man!
1366
01:28:14,957 --> 01:28:17,459
The wrong half!
Oh, yeah?
1367
01:28:17,492 --> 01:28:20,527
I'm twice the man
you'll ever be!
I hate you!
1368
01:28:20,562 --> 01:28:26,233
You're a hard-boiled--
I'd like to hard-boil
your balls!
1369
01:28:33,041 --> 01:28:37,244
Alan, take me home.
1370
01:28:48,523 --> 01:28:53,061
Lillian, I just want you
to know I don't hold
this against you.
1371
01:28:53,094 --> 01:28:55,662
I can completely empathize.
1372
01:28:55,697 --> 01:28:59,700
I've been working constantly,
giving to everyone else but you.
1373
01:28:59,734 --> 01:29:03,305
I'm actually--
I'm grateful to you for...
1374
01:29:03,338 --> 01:29:07,509
reminding me how much
I value our marriage.
1375
01:29:07,542 --> 01:29:12,213
I want you to tell me
everything I did wrong
that led you to do this.
1376
01:29:12,247 --> 01:29:17,452
[ Alan Continues, Indistinct ]
Molly, I'm sorry
I was so short.
1377
01:29:17,485 --> 01:29:22,423
That's-- That's okay.
I never should have
hired him.
1378
01:29:22,457 --> 01:29:26,061
That was a pretty
desperate decision.
1379
01:29:26,094 --> 01:29:28,563
I know. I'm sorry.
1380
01:29:28,596 --> 01:29:33,367
[ Alan Continues,
Indistinct ]
And I forgive you.
1381
01:29:33,400 --> 01:29:37,371
You do?
Sure. He didn't
get any pictures.
1382
01:29:37,404 --> 01:29:42,010
I think this whole thing
is going to blow over
without a trace.
1383
01:29:43,277 --> 01:29:48,282
Or is it
something fundamental?
Is it something I can't change?
1384
01:29:48,315 --> 01:29:50,985
You think my head's too big
for my body? No.
But I mean--
1385
01:29:54,655 --> 01:29:57,525
I understand
if you want to leave me.
1386
01:29:57,559 --> 01:30:03,231
I do. I did get you
kind of unfairly
in the first place.
1387
01:30:03,264 --> 01:30:05,300
I was pretty ruthless
about it.
1388
01:30:05,333 --> 01:30:09,703
Oh, but I loved you so much.
1389
01:30:09,737 --> 01:30:15,476
And now that it's happened
to me, I have to face myself.
1390
01:30:15,510 --> 01:30:18,412
Maybe I deserve this.
1391
01:30:18,445 --> 01:30:20,582
Balls, Rowena.
Cut to the chase.
1392
01:30:20,615 --> 01:30:25,252
Are we back together?
Not if you keep
this shit up.
1393
01:30:27,488 --> 01:30:30,058
Well, I guess
we missed the plane.
1394
01:30:30,092 --> 01:30:33,528
It's all taken care of.
I got us on a flight
in the morning.
1395
01:30:33,561 --> 01:30:36,798
What happened, happened.
The present is now.
1396
01:30:36,830 --> 01:30:39,567
Uh-- I'm not going
to wallow, recriminate.
1397
01:30:39,601 --> 01:30:42,170
Because we're ventilating.
We're interfacing.
1398
01:30:42,204 --> 01:30:45,673
We're really building
from a new foundation.
1399
01:30:45,707 --> 01:30:48,509
Sometimes the inner child
just says, "Change me.
1400
01:30:48,543 --> 01:30:51,045
I've gone poo.
Change me."
1401
01:30:51,045 --> 01:30:54,348
Maybe your inner child
just wants to throw a toy.
1402
01:30:54,382 --> 01:30:56,517
Where's your room?
1403
01:30:56,551 --> 01:30:59,121
Uh, over there.
1404
01:30:59,153 --> 01:31:01,556
[ Sighs ]
1405
01:31:01,588 --> 01:31:05,592
We have a little time,
1406
01:31:05,627 --> 01:31:07,761
if you want to lie down?
1407
01:31:07,795 --> 01:31:10,798
Oh, um, uh--
[ Dogs Yipping ]
1408
01:31:10,831 --> 01:31:13,301
Alan wanted me
to walk his dogs.
1409
01:31:13,334 --> 01:31:16,270
So-- Yeah.
1410
01:31:16,304 --> 01:31:20,142
Okay. Well, I'm beat.
1411
01:31:20,175 --> 01:31:24,445
Okay, well,
I'm gonna walk the dogs, so--
1412
01:31:24,478 --> 01:31:27,881
[ Thunder Rumbling ]
1413
01:31:27,914 --> 01:31:30,185
[ Door Closes ]
1414
01:31:41,395 --> 01:31:43,464
Taxi?
1415
01:32:00,214 --> 01:32:01,916
[ Knocking ]
1416
01:32:01,949 --> 01:32:07,888
[ Sighs ]
No, Rowena. I do not want
to renew our wedding vows.
1417
01:32:09,224 --> 01:32:11,293
Dad, it's me.
1418
01:32:13,361 --> 01:32:15,462
Oh, hi, Molly.
1419
01:32:15,497 --> 01:32:17,665
Come on in.
1420
01:32:24,639 --> 01:32:26,808
Came to say good-bye, huh?
1421
01:32:26,841 --> 01:32:29,244
Yeah. Yeah.
1422
01:32:30,412 --> 01:32:32,579
How come you're not
working on your computer?
1423
01:32:32,613 --> 01:32:35,317
I like this old thing
better.
1424
01:32:35,350 --> 01:32:38,920
I always did
better work on this.
I thought before I typed.
1425
01:32:40,987 --> 01:32:46,560
Look, I, um,
I wanted to apologize...
1426
01:32:46,593 --> 01:32:49,197
for intruding on you and Mom
the way I did.
1427
01:32:49,231 --> 01:32:52,334
I never should have--
You did me a favor.
Really.
1428
01:32:52,366 --> 01:32:55,269
Well, it was
none of my business.
1429
01:32:55,303 --> 01:32:57,805
I should have let you--
Molly, you were right.
1430
01:32:57,838 --> 01:33:00,607
You're always right.
1431
01:33:00,642 --> 01:33:04,546
Don't you know you're the only
sane one in this entire circus?
1432
01:33:04,579 --> 01:33:08,283
Yeah, well, I--
1433
01:33:08,315 --> 01:33:12,920
I've been thinking a lot
about what you said about me.
1434
01:33:12,953 --> 01:33:15,723
[ Knocking ]
[ Rowena ]
The Matsons are here.
1435
01:33:15,757 --> 01:33:20,527
Just one moment, please,
Rowena! I'm sorry, honey.
Go ahead.
1436
01:33:20,562 --> 01:33:25,733
What you said
about not settling...
1437
01:33:25,767 --> 01:33:29,704
and about having
some fun before--
1438
01:33:29,737 --> 01:33:32,874
Daddy, I don't think
I've had very much fun.
1439
01:33:32,907 --> 01:33:35,410
No, Molly, honey,
don't listen to me.
1440
01:33:35,442 --> 01:33:39,012
You should never listen to me.
Don't you know that by now?
1441
01:33:39,045 --> 01:33:40,748
Look at me today.
1442
01:33:40,782 --> 01:33:45,952
I'm on the dance floor with
this woman who's out to destroy
me, thinking I'm having fun.
1443
01:33:45,987 --> 01:33:48,856
She's feeding me arsenic,
and I don't even know it.
1444
01:33:48,890 --> 01:33:51,225
Believe me, you don't want
to do what I did.
1445
01:33:51,225 --> 01:33:54,462
So you think it's better
to settle for something...
1446
01:33:54,495 --> 01:33:56,463
even though you know
in your heart it's--
1447
01:33:56,498 --> 01:33:59,467
Dan-- Oh.
1448
01:33:59,500 --> 01:34:02,304
Hello, Molly.
1449
01:34:02,336 --> 01:34:05,672
Uh, Dan, we're gonna
lose our reservation.
1450
01:34:10,778 --> 01:34:12,747
[ Sighs ]
1451
01:34:12,780 --> 01:34:16,418
Well, you don't want
to lose your reservation.
1452
01:34:24,926 --> 01:34:27,694
[ Sniffles ]
1453
01:34:28,995 --> 01:34:31,032
Mmm.
1454
01:34:37,003 --> 01:34:42,008
Are you okay?
Me? Oh, I'm perfect.
1455
01:34:42,043 --> 01:34:45,579
Everything here is fine.
1456
01:34:45,612 --> 01:34:47,882
We had a long talk
last night.
1457
01:34:47,915 --> 01:34:51,285
A long, long, long talk.
1458
01:34:51,285 --> 01:34:56,523
He's being a saint.
Really, I'm fabulous.
I'm terrific.
1459
01:34:56,558 --> 01:34:59,493
[ Hoarse Voice ]
Good morning, Molly.
Good morning.
1460
01:34:59,527 --> 01:35:03,497
Oh, honey,
how are you feeling?
Are we out of bagels?
1461
01:35:03,531 --> 01:35:06,634
I'll get you some.
Oh, no, don't bother!
1462
01:35:06,668 --> 01:35:09,371
Listen to you.
Feed the dogs.
1463
01:35:09,404 --> 01:35:11,071
We're communicating?
Oh, yes.
1464
01:35:11,105 --> 01:35:13,640
She's such a caretaker,
huh?
1465
01:35:13,675 --> 01:35:18,045
Now, come on.
Just stay open to the idea
of liver and kidney.
1466
01:35:18,078 --> 01:35:22,984
Don't close yourself off.
You can only imagine.
1467
01:35:23,016 --> 01:35:27,788
So how are you and Keith?
Did you do it?
None of your business.
1468
01:35:27,822 --> 01:35:33,395
In other words, no.
I'd like to try it just once
without my mom in the next room.
1469
01:35:33,428 --> 01:35:38,400
Oh, be that way.
Ooh, you're gonna
miss your flight.
1470
01:35:41,469 --> 01:35:44,939
[ Burps,
Clears Throat ]
Honey?
1471
01:35:44,972 --> 01:35:47,140
Oh, honey.
1472
01:35:47,173 --> 01:35:52,413
Do you want Mommy
to take you to the airport
in her big vulgar limo?
1473
01:35:54,549 --> 01:35:56,684
I cannot believe
you brought her.
1474
01:35:56,718 --> 01:36:00,588
She's depressed.
Have you ever seen her
wear black?
1475
01:36:00,621 --> 01:36:03,758
I thought we might
start to explore
the concept of privacy.
1476
01:36:03,790 --> 01:36:07,395
It's gonna be two more minutes.
Probably less. They're
gonna be boarding already.
1477
01:36:07,429 --> 01:36:12,799
We shouldn't have done this.
She wanted to say something
before I let you drag me out.
1478
01:36:12,833 --> 01:36:14,768
All right!
1479
01:36:14,801 --> 01:36:17,771
Did you know
about this?
No.
1480
01:36:17,804 --> 01:36:19,773
He's never seen me off anywhere
in my whole life.
1481
01:36:19,806 --> 01:36:24,446
But not with anger.
Anger is such
a cheap emotion.
1482
01:36:24,479 --> 01:36:26,514
I gotta go.
1483
01:36:26,548 --> 01:36:28,516
Mother, don't.
Lillian.
1484
01:36:28,550 --> 01:36:33,186
This is potentially
a backsliding situation.
You have a choice.
1485
01:36:33,219 --> 01:36:37,724
Dan, let's go.
She doesn't have exclusive
rights to our daughter.
1486
01:36:37,758 --> 01:36:39,626
Only morally and legally.
1487
01:36:39,661 --> 01:36:41,795
She's an adult.
She's free to reject you.
1488
01:36:41,828 --> 01:36:43,164
I'm not putting up
with this.
1489
01:36:43,196 --> 01:36:44,666
You had to ruin this
for me.
1490
01:36:44,698 --> 01:36:48,635
I couldn't possibly
have any fatherly interest.
I'm here to create a scene.
1491
01:36:48,670 --> 01:36:50,771
Absolutely.
That's right, Lillian.
1492
01:36:50,804 --> 01:36:52,739
The world revolves around you.
1493
01:36:52,774 --> 01:36:55,443
You clearly think so,
otherwise you wouldn't
be stalking me.
1494
01:36:55,477 --> 01:36:58,011
I wouldn't stalk you if--
That's it! Stop it!
1495
01:36:58,045 --> 01:37:00,046
You're both crazy.
1496
01:37:00,080 --> 01:37:04,050
Why don't you accept
that your marriage is over
and get on with your lives?
1497
01:37:04,084 --> 01:37:07,655
Stop infecting the rest of us
with your bad taste
and immaturity.
1498
01:37:07,688 --> 01:37:09,023
Oh, no.
1499
01:37:09,055 --> 01:37:11,926
Bad taste?
Immaturity, huh?
1500
01:37:11,959 --> 01:37:13,827
You should talk,
you little weenie.
1501
01:37:13,860 --> 01:37:15,629
You been married
two whole days?
1502
01:37:15,663 --> 01:37:18,064
This is what
we talked about.
Toxic parents.
1503
01:37:18,099 --> 01:37:21,936
See what she's married?
A pompous little ass.
Patronizing.
1504
01:37:21,969 --> 01:37:24,038
My parents knew how
to set an example.
1505
01:37:24,071 --> 01:37:26,172
Like your father
and those twinkie models?
1506
01:37:26,207 --> 01:37:28,009
Is that what's ahead
for my Molly?
1507
01:37:28,042 --> 01:37:30,578
You have the gall to tell me
I'm an unfit partner
for your daughter...
1508
01:37:30,612 --> 01:37:33,648
when your own marriage
was a joke?
1509
01:37:33,680 --> 01:37:35,916
I know how to be a husband.
1510
01:37:35,950 --> 01:37:38,785
Oh, do you?
1511
01:37:40,622 --> 01:37:43,189
Rowena.
1512
01:37:43,224 --> 01:37:45,560
You're shedding again.
1513
01:37:45,593 --> 01:37:48,129
Stop. You're
looking under rocks.
1514
01:37:48,162 --> 01:37:51,465
This is bullshit!
I, I-- I'm really angry!
Let's just go.
1515
01:37:51,465 --> 01:37:53,767
They're all certifiable.
1516
01:37:53,801 --> 01:37:57,171
So that's where
you were all night!
1517
01:37:57,203 --> 01:38:01,107
I, I-- I am not
gonna dignify this.
1518
01:38:01,141 --> 01:38:03,210
I'm not.
Since when do you
ever want to do it?
1519
01:38:03,243 --> 01:38:07,113
Molly, this is total poison.
You know me better than that.
1520
01:38:07,147 --> 01:38:11,918
I thought I did.
You! You're the one who
hasn't accounted for last night.
1521
01:38:11,952 --> 01:38:14,254
She was with me.
1522
01:38:17,691 --> 01:38:21,162
What are you doing here?
Look.
1523
01:38:21,194 --> 01:38:23,730
What? You want another
picture of my mother?
1524
01:38:23,765 --> 01:38:27,001
There she is.
Go for it.
No!
1525
01:38:27,034 --> 01:38:29,103
I-I want you.
1526
01:38:34,175 --> 01:38:36,077
Did you sleep with him?
1527
01:38:36,110 --> 01:38:39,080
This is the final
boarding call--
Molly--
1528
01:38:39,113 --> 01:38:43,817
for American Airlines,
Flight 395, service
to Los Angeles and Honolulu.
1529
01:38:43,850 --> 01:38:48,590
Mom, Dad, can I speak with you
for a moment, please?
1530
01:38:50,991 --> 01:38:52,859
Please.
1531
01:38:55,096 --> 01:38:57,098
Dan?
1532
01:38:58,666 --> 01:39:01,134
This is exactly
what I was afraid of.
1533
01:39:01,167 --> 01:39:03,537
Why did you
bring her here?
I--
1534
01:39:07,374 --> 01:39:10,744
I want you to do
something for me.
1535
01:39:10,778 --> 01:39:12,946
I want you to go
on my honeymoon.
1536
01:39:15,982 --> 01:39:20,221
Oh, look. You're never
gonna get over each other.
You know that.
1537
01:39:20,253 --> 01:39:23,825
So why don't you just fly
out of here and deal with it?
1538
01:39:25,259 --> 01:39:27,894
What do ya say?
1539
01:39:33,835 --> 01:39:38,706
Well, Lilly,
are you game?
1540
01:39:38,740 --> 01:39:41,908
Always.
♪ At last
1541
01:39:41,942 --> 01:39:44,278
Thanks, baby.
1542
01:39:44,310 --> 01:39:47,248
I love you both very much.
♪ My love has come along
1543
01:39:47,281 --> 01:39:51,218
We love you too, honey.
1544
01:39:51,252 --> 01:39:55,021
♪ My lonely days are over
1545
01:39:58,726 --> 01:40:01,095
♪ And life is like a song
What did you do?
1546
01:40:01,127 --> 01:40:05,866
Dan! Dan!
Oh, butt out.
1547
01:40:05,900 --> 01:40:08,001
You're gonna pay
for this!
1548
01:40:08,034 --> 01:40:10,937
Molly?
What are you doing?
1549
01:40:10,972 --> 01:40:14,875
Annulling your ass.
♪ The skies above are blue
1550
01:40:14,909 --> 01:40:18,145
Good!
My father was right!
[ Rowena Sobbing ]
1551
01:40:18,179 --> 01:40:20,982
Hey, Joey!
♪ Here we are in heaven
1552
01:40:21,014 --> 01:40:23,284
♪ In heaven
1553
01:40:23,316 --> 01:40:27,053
♪ For you are mine at last
1554
01:40:27,087 --> 01:40:29,355
[ Laughing Uproariously ]
1555
01:40:29,390 --> 01:40:33,728
Should never have bought
that third dog.
He's gonna pay for this.
1556
01:40:33,761 --> 01:40:39,099
Good. You got
your picture.
1557
01:40:39,133 --> 01:40:41,836
You got what you wanted.
1558
01:40:41,868 --> 01:40:46,940
So maybe you should
just take your film and--
1559
01:40:55,149 --> 01:40:57,383
[ Keith ] Wonderful.
I should have seen
this coming.
1560
01:40:57,418 --> 01:40:59,853
I'm glad I found out now.
1561
01:41:01,855 --> 01:41:04,058
This is my wife!
1562
01:41:05,291 --> 01:41:08,462
Oh, this is lovely.
Beautiful.
1563
01:41:08,494 --> 01:41:13,034
Oh, fine.
Good riddance!
♪ I found a dream
1564
01:41:13,066 --> 01:41:15,101
You're just like them!
1565
01:41:15,135 --> 01:41:17,839
♪ That I could speak to
Not yet.
1566
01:41:17,871 --> 01:41:20,708
Enjoy your life
as a photographer's
assistant!
1567
01:41:20,742 --> 01:41:23,878
Come on.
[ Keith ]
Crazy liberals.
1568
01:41:23,910 --> 01:41:25,912
♪ And here we are
♪ Here we are
1569
01:41:25,947 --> 01:41:30,184
♪ We are in heaven
♪ In heaven
1570
01:41:30,217 --> 01:41:34,487
♪ For you are mine
1571
01:41:34,520 --> 01:41:40,126
♪ At last
1572
01:42:08,354 --> 01:42:12,058
♪ I saw you last night
1573
01:42:12,093 --> 01:42:16,162
♪ And got that old feelin'
1574
01:42:17,398 --> 01:42:20,200
♪ When you came in sight
1575
01:42:20,234 --> 01:42:25,739
♪ I got that old feelin', dear
1576
01:42:26,539 --> 01:42:30,845
♪ The moment you danced by
1577
01:42:30,878 --> 01:42:34,248
♪ I felt the thrill
1578
01:42:35,148 --> 01:42:38,953
♪ And when you caught my eye
1579
01:42:38,985 --> 01:42:41,923
♪ My heart stood still
1580
01:42:41,956 --> 01:42:45,526
♪ Yes, once again I seem
1581
01:42:45,558 --> 01:42:51,131
♪ To feel that old yearnin'
1582
01:42:51,765 --> 01:42:55,535
♪ And I knew the spark of love
1583
01:42:55,568 --> 01:43:00,373
♪ Was still burnin'
1584
01:43:00,406 --> 01:43:05,146
♪ There'll be no new romance
for me ♪
1585
01:43:05,179 --> 01:43:08,515
♪ It's foolish to start
1586
01:43:08,548 --> 01:43:13,520
♪ But that old feelin'
1587
01:43:13,553 --> 01:43:16,390
♪ Is still in my heart
1588
01:43:16,422 --> 01:43:20,226
♪ Yes, I saw you last night
1589
01:43:20,260 --> 01:43:26,166
♪ And got that old feelin'
1590
01:43:26,199 --> 01:43:28,601
♪ When you came in sight
1591
01:43:28,634 --> 01:43:33,074
♪ Mama, I got that
old feelin', babe ♪
1592
01:43:33,106 --> 01:43:39,380
♪ Yes, the moment
you danced by ♪
1593
01:43:39,413 --> 01:43:42,516
♪ I felt a little thrill
1594
01:43:42,548 --> 01:43:46,387
♪ Yes, when you caught my eye
1595
01:43:46,420 --> 01:43:49,456
♪ Baby, my heart stood still
1596
01:43:49,490 --> 01:43:51,825
♪ Baby, baby, oh
1597
01:43:51,825 --> 01:43:54,896
♪ And once again I seem
1598
01:43:54,929 --> 01:44:00,334
♪ To feel that old yearnin'
1599
01:44:00,366 --> 01:44:03,870
♪ And I knew the spark of love
1600
01:44:03,905 --> 01:44:08,274
♪ Was still burnin'
1601
01:44:08,308 --> 01:44:13,279
♪ Yes, there'll be
no new romance for me ♪
1602
01:44:13,313 --> 01:44:16,350
♪ It's foolish to start
1603
01:44:16,383 --> 01:44:21,655
♪ For that old feelin', babe
1604
01:44:21,687 --> 01:44:26,292
♪ Is still in my heart
1605
01:44:30,364 --> 01:44:34,468
♪ Baby, it's still
in my heart ♪
1606
01:44:39,040 --> 01:44:41,475
♪ [ Conga: Lively ]
1607
01:44:50,484 --> 01:44:53,387
♪ Baila conmigo
1608
01:44:55,222 --> 01:44:58,392
♪ Baila al son de mis cimbales
1609
01:44:59,726 --> 01:45:04,298
♪ Baila al son de la conga
1610
01:45:20,346 --> 01:45:22,416
♪ Uh
119646
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