Original subtitles

[heavy breathing]

Downloaded from YTS.MX

[upbeat jazz music]

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

- [Pawel] It is not porn,

it is art.

- [Shannon] It's fun, you know.

Just a bit of fun.

- [Brad] Making people's fantasies real,

by allowing them to escape

from their boring lives through art.

- [Katya] As for me,

it is job.

- [Darren] It's exciting, you know, really,

what's the word?

Glamorous.

- Well, it's about money, obviously.

One billion pounds a year to be exact.

That's how much this industry brings into the UK economy.

You won't hear the politicians

bandying that figure about, will you?

Yeah, sex sells.

I mean,

there's a lot of money to be made

and Liquid Dreams is taking a fair old chunk of it.

- [Interviewer] How much is that?

- Well, I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.

Now, we make about about a dozen films a year,

all here in our local studio.

You'll see all that later.

I've been doing this for 18 years now and I mean,

a lot has changed.

Back then it was all VHS.

You know, we'd sell to the distributor,

they'd sell on to the man on the street

or the sex shops, simple.

But now, now you've got the internet, haven't you?

Anybody with a webcam can be a porn star,

and the amount of content out there.

It's unbelievable.

Unbelievable.

You've got millions of photos, movies,

live streaming sites, and a lot of it free.

So how do we compete with that, and still make money?

[phone ringing]

Quality.

Quality. As my dad used to say,

you offer 'em quality, and they'll come running.

- [Janine] Hello?

- He was a gravedigger, but you know,

the principle's still the same.

So yeah, we make high-quality films,

and the punters just love 'em.

- [Janine] Barry?

- Yeah, what is it Janine?

- That was the bank.

- This is Janine.

Janine's in charge of production.

I don't like to get involved in the day-to-day stuff.

You know, step back, keep an eye on the bigger picture.

- There's a problem with a check.

- We don't have problems, Janine, we have issues.

- Sorry, Barry.

There's an issue with a check.

- Look, we'll talk about it when I'm finished here, alright?

Where was I?

Oh yeah, high-quality films.

[acoustic guitar music]

This is the nerve center of our internet operations.

Pay-per-view on our entire back catalog.

Huge part of the business.

[sexual moaning on video]

Huge.

And this is where we store all the stock.

Thousands of units going all over the place.

Our films are watched all over the world.

You name it, Wales...

Guys, it's alright guys. Not immigration, not immigration, yeah?

Nice bunch of guys, came to us straight off the boat.

Well, back of a lorry actually.

Alright, let's see what's flying off the shelves.

Ah, yes.

One of our all-time classics, this one.

Swept the board at the awards ceremonies a few years ago,

so it was always gonna be a good seller.

Must have shifted thousands of units of this one.

Another good one.

A bit of a niche market, but steady sales.

Ah, "Tranny Granny's Naughty Boys," yeah.

Gotta be honest, not as popular as we'd hoped.

We were slightly ahead of the curve on that one.

But, as I say,

make it quality and the customer will buy.

Build it, and they will come.

Literally.

Because we want "The Seven Holes of Rome"

to sell in the quality end of the market,

we're doing things a little bit differently.

We're lucky enough to be working

with a world-famous arthouse filmmaker,

Pawel Jankowski.

He's writing and directing the film.

- So, I have made many researches into Ancient Rome.

Whole atmosphere of film will be very Roman.

- We want it to be

as authentic as possible, Pawel,

I mean within budget, obviously.

- I have made some little changes to story.

- [Barry Voiceover] We're very excited

to have Pawel on board.

He's won many awards for his work.

You probably already know "The Weeping Sea",

which won the Golden Boar at the Minsk Biennale in '92.

[eerie music]

[speaking in French, dubbed in Belarusian]

And because of a few visa problems in America,

he's based in this country now.

So we're very honored that Pawel's decided

to make the move into the adult entertainment industry,

with Liquid Dream Productions.

It's gonna be amazing.

- And for Emperor Cumonus we have?

- We've got Jason Silver.

He should be here any moment, actually.

Pawel, he's very excited to be meeting you.

- And for Empress Clitora?

- [Barry Voiceover] Because Pawel's signed up,

we're able to work with a bigger budget.

So, you know, this could be the film

that really makes the crossover into the mainstream.

We could be talking cinematic distribution all over Europe,

not just in the porn theaters,

and that's worth millions.

- Shannon said she can't come this afternoon.

She's got a waxing appointment.

- Oh, well that's a shame, Pawel.

But I mean, you're gonna love her.

She's a great performer, er, actress, you know, very versatile.

Did you see that DVD I gave you?

- Oh yes, it was very interesting.

- Well, I've worked a lot with Shannon,

and I've gotta say,

I'm gonna throw it out there.

I thought "Anal Amazons 3"

was her finest work, yeah.

Yeah.

- As for slave girls?

- We've got some beautiful girls.

We've got Katya, she's been with us on a few projects now.

Great performer.

And Lien is a new artist that we've just taken on.

- She is English?

- Well no, she's Chinese actually,

but you know, it's the big thing at the moment.

It's like the new Eastern European.

- But there were no Chinese slave girls in Rome.

- Oh I'm sure there were one or two, Pawel.

- No, there were none.

Romans never conquered Han empire.

- Oh well I'm sure Lien will bring

some of her other talents to the role.

- She's cheaper than the other girls.

- All right Janine, that's a production issue.

I'm sure Lien'll bring,

she'll be a great addition to the team.

- But there were no Chinese slave girls in Rome.

- Here he is, the big man, how are you doing?

- How are you doing?

- This is Pawel Jankowski,

he's gonna be directing you next Wednesday.

- Hi Jason.

- Have a seat.

- [Jason Voiceover] I suppose I'm just one of those people

who loves their job.

I wake up in the morning and I jump out of bed.

[upbeat jazz music]

Yeah, I'd say me mates are jealous.

Who wouldn't be?

I get paid to have sex with beautiful women, and they don't.

Not everyone can do this job.

It takes skill.

You have to be able to like, act,

and have sex at the same time.

It's not just about having a 10-inch cock.

There's a lot of work involved.

- [Interviewer] What kind of work is that?

- You have to be able to perform on camera,

every time.

You have to be able to get hard on demand,

and you have to be able to cum on demand.

It's as simple as that,

with bright lights on you,

and cameras rolling, and like 20 people watching you.

But I was in the Navy, so I'm used to that.

- [Interviewer] How long do you think

you'll stay in the industry?

- As long as I can.

Some of us are just born with talent.

- So Pawel, you said you wanted to go through

characterization ideas with Jason.

Would now be a good time?

- Yes.

- Fine with me.

- So,

maybe before I tell you, whom I think is emperor,

you tell me whom you think is emperor.

- So Jason, who do you think the emperor is?

- Oh, I get you.

Well, he's an emperor, isn't he?

- Yes.

That's good, but what sort of man is he?

- He's a man with a big dick?

- I think what Pawel's trying to get to Jason,

is what ideas have you got

for what sort of a character the emperor is.

You know, is he a good person, is he a bad person?

You know, the arty stuff.

- Now I get you.

Yeah, I did have some thoughts about the character.

Like what kind of person he is.

- Yeah.

Excellent.

- I was thinking, right.

I think he's the kind of person that would like teabagging.

- Yeah well, Jason, I think that's,

that's a very good idea.

I think we can probably work that into the film,

can't we, Pawel?

- Yeah sure, that gives much depth to character.

- Yeah, well Jason, I think that's all we need you for.

See you next Wednesday.

- Great, really nice to meet you.

- No, pleasure was all mine.

- Bye.

- See you Jason.

Well, I think that went well.

You wanted to talk to Shannon about her characterization?

- Or maybe with my fucking pussycat,

we could discuss characterization.

[jazz trumpet music]

- [Barry Voiceover] Yes, it's the calm before the storm.

A very stressful time.

I pull the whole thing together, you know.

I hire the cast, the crew, the director,

all massive outlay.

I'm signing checks left, right, and center.

And then you suddenly think,

will I ever see this money again?

And will the film be a success?

So yeah, it's a stressful time.

So I always tend to burn the midnight oil the night before.

- Can I go now, please?

I've got to pick the kids up from swimming at eight o'clock.

- Oh yeah, of course Janine.

I'm very big on family.

Make sure you're in at 5:00 a.m. to open up, though.

- [Janine] Yes, Barry.

Goodnight.

- Goodnight.

She's a good producer, Janine.

She don't talk much, but you know, that can be useful.

Been with me ever since I lost the carpet shop.

She was a secretary back then.

I've got to say she has taken to producing

like a duck to water.

- [Interviewer] So you haven't always worked

in adult entertainment?

- No, this is just one of my businesses.

I mainly do import and export now,

but in my time I've done it all.

Double-glazing, right through to used cars.

I just sort of fell into this really.

A mate of mine owned Liquid Dreams at the time,

and he was making a fortune,

but rushed off his feet.

Couldn't keep up with the demand.

Asked if I could help him out, so I did.

At the end of the day, it's just a business,

selling a product.

- [Interviewer] Is your friend

still involved in the company?

- No, sadly no.

A couple of months after I started working with him,

he had a tragic accident with a golf club.

Sadly passed.

But luckily he did leave

his half of the business in his will to me,

so we were able to continue,

which was a blessing.

[flamenco guitar music]

- I'm sorry no, he's not in the office yet.

I can't answer that, I'm sorry.

- Janine, where are the togas?

- In the store room.

- Thanks.

Hi.

- No, I'm sure it can't have bounced.

No.

Well it just wouldn't happen.

- The talent's arrived.

- It's illegal to smoke in the office.

Look, I'll get him to ring you as soon as he comes in.

- Yup. Yup.

Thank you.

I'll put the talent in the green room.

If the phone rings, answer it.

[phone ringing]

Please help yourself to tea and coffee, ladies.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

- Enjoy it? Yeah.

Yeah, I love it.

Proper nympho me.

I'd have shagged my boyfriend to death by now,

if I wasn't having sex at work.

- [Interviewer] Does your boyfriend

have a problem with your career?

- No, no, he loves it.

He loves coming to set when I'm filming.

He was gonna come today, actually,

but there's no wheelchair ramp here.

- [Interviewer] Are you excited about filming?

- Oh yeah, yeah.

I've got quite a few scenes, which is always good.

Working with Jason, he's always a lot of fun.

And he keeps himself clean, not like some of the other guys.

- No, just for few months.

Before that I was working as waitress in restaurant,

but money here is better.

And here is also less of,

how you say it, exploitation.

- [Interviewer] How long do you think you'll work in porn?

- As for me, I just want to save some money

to buy apartment in Lithuania.

So I think maybe few more months,

and then I will go home to see my children.

For two years, I haven't seen them.

- Hi all!

- [Katya] I have here a photograph of them.

- Darling, how are you?

You look great.

- Oh, thanks babe.

Yeah, I had my tits done again.

You all right?

- Oh don't, nightmare week at the theater.

- [Brad Voiceover] I mean, it's a cliche of course,

but acting is my life.

I live and breathe theater.

I first started acting seriously at about 18 months.

Then I joined the National Youth Theatre.

After that it was a short hop to drama school,

and I haven't looked back.

When you have a gift,

I feel you should share that gift with the world.

[techno music]

To be or not to be.

That is the question.

- [Brad Voiceover] So, I got together with some friends,

and we founded the Theatre Dramatique de Bermondsey.

And arrows of outrageous fortune.

- [Brad Voiceover] We focus on the great dramatists,

Shakespeare, Ibsen, Chekhov.

But we deconstruct them.

It's very radical in the French tradition,

hence the name of the theater.

But then these were very radical playwrights for their time.

To die.

- [Brad Voiceover] And the audience reacts very well to it.

They really enjoy us challenging

the theatrical tradition and as well, challenging them.

- [Interviewer] And does working in pornography

have an impact on your career in the theater?

- Well, you know, it pays the bills.

I mean, yes, yes.

Without it, TDDB wouldn't be able to continue

to make its contribution to theater.

I mean, the state of the arts funding

in this country is ridiculous.

Like, they fund any piece of crap

with a celebrity attached to it.

When it comes to real art, valuable art,

the kind of art our theater gives to the people of London,

they won't give us a penny.

It's absurd.

- [Interviewer] But coming back

to the question for a moment,

does acting in pornographic films

affect your work in theater?

- Yes, yes, of course it does.

Every role I take on in an adult film,

it gives back to me and my development as an actor.

I also think it's that little bit extra

I give in an adult film.

I think directors really appreciate that.

Yes, it's exactly what I thought, love.

It's the engine, alright?

You're gonna need a new one.

It's gonna cost you about a grand.

- I don't know if I can afford that.

Is there any other way I can pay?

- Well, why don't you go into my office

and I'll see what I can do.

- [Interviewer] How do you feel

about working with Pawel Jankowski?

- I'm excited.

I'm very excited, yes.

I'm a huge fan.

I've seen all his films.

"Sophie's Decision," "The Weeping Sea," "Commandments."

I've seen them all like a thousand times.

Just fantastic.

I mean,

obviously he went quiet for a while

after the arrest in the US and all that.

But God, this,

this must be his first film in about 20 years.

And for me to be a part of that is just, incredible.

Another thing is we've both had very similar artistic

journeys to where we are today.

So yeah, I think we'll work well together

and you never know what could come from that.

- [Janine] I've been ringing him every five minutes.

- Yeah, well tell him he either pays up, or we break his legs.

- [Pawel] I don't need this. I lived through communism!

Pawel, good to see you.

- Finally, where fucking were you?

- As I'm sure Janine explained, I had a family emergency.

Why don't we step into my office,

and get things kicked off?

- Barry?

- I have like 4,000 things to discuss with you

before I can shoot one frame.

- Barry, Barry, I need to talk to you.

There's been some large amounts of cash taken out,

which I haven't got the paperwork for.

- Two coffees, Janine. - Jimmy's been asking

questions about the lighting and there's that-

- Oh yeah, Roger, the cameraman.

My mates are always saying it.

Roger, the cameraman.

I get it all the time on set, too.

It's the money.

End of.

Normally I'd be doing

nature documentaries for the BBC,

but they don't always need you.

So I like to do a bit of work for Barry now and again.

Besides, it makes a change

from shooting eagle owls or whatever.

A bit more exciting, this.

Isn't it, Nathan?

Nathan and I do quite a lot of work

on the nature documentaries.

It was me who got him the job with Barry.

You enjoy the change as well, don't you Nathan?

You record one owl, you've got them all, haven't you?

And we hate monotony, don't we Nathan?

Rolling stones, we are.

- So, Sir Ian turns to this young upstart,

and says, darling,

what do you think the 'S' in 'RSC' stands for?

Sondheim?

[Brad laughing]

Of course, we all just died laughing.

- I ain't ever going there again, it was just horrible.

- What happened?

- She ruined it, took half my lady-garden off.

- There, I never had a problem.

They're always careful.

Was she trainee?

- Don't know, she must've been blind.

I had to end up getting a Bollywood, have it all off.

Them diamantes aren't cheap.

- Darling, you didn't!

- But they want us to have a Hollywood for this movie, yeah?

With the landing strip.

- What else can I do?

I'm not going around with nothing down there.

I'd look like Barbie.

- Does Barbie have vagina?

- A Bollywood's not very Roman now, is it?

- Isn't it?

- Pawel's a real stickler for authenticity.

You can see it in his old period films.

- Perhaps you can remove some of the diamantes.

I think I have in my bag some tweezers.

- Hi everyone, can we have you on set please?

- We're still in Makeup.

- I'm not in the first scene.

- Oh no, we're not shooting anything yet.

Pawel just wants a word with everyone.

- Oh, so we

finally get to meet the maestro?

Darling, you'd better tell him about your pussy.

- Didn't they have diamantes in Rome then?

- Thanks guys.

- Can you get a picture of me and Pawel together?

- [Interviewer] How long have you been working

for Liquid Dream Productions?

- Me? - [Interviewer] Yeah.

- About six months.

I phoned up the office one day,

to see if they had any jobs,

I said I'd work for free,

and then Barry got me to start the next day.

Although Janine did actually start paying me

a couple of weeks ago.

- Barry wants you to wash his car

while they're waiting to shoot.

- No rest for the wicked.

- So I started to think,

how will story fit in with decline in power of Senate?

And how will Emperor Cumonus behave because of this?

- I have a question.

- Yes, Brad.

- Hi Pawel.

- Hi, it's pronounced P-A-V-E-W.

- Sorry, sorry, I'm so sorry.

So Pawel, is this going to be a more Brechtian production?

Because the set is so bare, and there's no props.

- Are you for real?

- Although, as the majority of the cast don't actually have names,

it's harking back to the tradition of the morality play.

So, I mean, I am Centurion.

Who am I?

What does this name mean for me?

- There is bare set because

I have been given no fucking money to create art.

And your character is called Centurion

because he is a centurion.

- Such a simple interpretation.

I love it, I totally agree.

- Iesus Christos.

- Well, thank you Brad.

Pawel, can we wrap things up?

- Well, I have some more informations

I want to give actors.

- Yeah, but time is money,

and I think after half an hour,

everybody's got the gist

of where you're coming from artistically.

If we can get ready

for the first scene, everyone, please?

- Did you see it in his eyes, so intense.

- I had a word with Pawel about the slave girl scene,

it's all sorted.

- Cool.

I just thought a spitroast

would be a bit more, you know, classy.

- Yeah yeah, I'm totally with you. That's what it needs--

- Hello?

Hello?

Could I speak to Lien please?

I'm afraid I don't understand.

Do you speak English?

Do you speak English?

- [Barry] Any luck?

- No, all I got was someone speaking Arabic or something.

- Shit.

- Have you got another number for her?

- No.

It's no good. We're going to have to get someone else.

- I don't know if I can, Barry.

It's all a bit last notice.

- Where is second slave girl?

- No need to panic, Pawel.

We're just trying to track Lien down now.

- I want to start scene now.

Jesus, first you tell me I have Chinese slave girl,

then I do not, what the hell must I do?

- Everything will be fine, Pawel.

- Bullshit, find her!

You, runner,

you need to find slave girl.

- Okay.

- Where does she live, Barry?

- There's no point sending Darren to find her. By the time--

- Where does she live?

- Look, you look after the artsy stuff, Pawel,

and leave the rest to me, alright?

- Find her.

I want to start the shooting in one hour.

- Walker's Court, Soho.

Halfway down, there's a pink neon sign

saying, "Models Upstairs."

Second floor, ask for Lien.

- [Interviewer] Do you think

you'll find it difficult to find Lien?

- Yeah, to be honest, I'm not really sure I can.

I don't know London very well.

Could I borrow some money for the Tube?

- Hey, where is Barry?

I have Lien.

- Oh yeah, he's just right through there mate.

Hi.

- Hi.

- [Pimp] Lien!

- I mean, he just doesn't understand that I won't do panto.

I just won't do it.

God.

I think I need a new agent.

- What's panto?

- [Jason] So who else have you worked for?

- I have made some films for Narcissus Productions.

- Oh yeah. I did a few with them when I started out.

You might have seen me in some of them.

They liked me 'cause I'm so big.

- [Katya] Oh I see.

- You'd have seen me in "Muffy the Vampire Shagger"

Then I did "Space Orgy 1", "Space Orgy 2"

and "Space Orgy 4", but not "Space Orgy 3".

And I did "Netball Sluts" for Narcissus, too.

- I have not seen those films.

- Everybody, Lien is finally here.

Now, it's her first time on film,

so you're gonna have to show her the ropes.

- [Brad] Barry, don't worry, we'll look after her.

Come on, come with me.

It's absolutely fine, take a seat.

So, it's your first time on film?

Are you mainly theater like me?

- Now, Lien's uncle is gonna be with us during the shoot.

He's only here to keep an eye on Lien.

He won't be getting involved on set.

- Her uncle doesn't look very Chinese.

- Maybe her auntie married into the gypsies.

- Can I have everybody's passport

by the end of the day, please?

I just need to photocopy them

for proof of eligibility to work.

Thank you.

- Ah Pawel, great news.

Lien's just arrived.

- Finally I can shoot fucking movie.

I want Cumonus, and Slave Girl 1 and 2

on set now for rehearsal, fast.

- Please wouldn't go amiss.

- Come on, darling.

He's an artist.

- So Jason, when you say,

"the greatest fruit that Gaul has to offer,"

you must to pull off dress of Katya.

- Right.

- Now, what Cumonus says in this line

is that he can conquer Gaul again.

When he takes slave girl, he becomes Julius Caesar.

Slave girl is metaphor for whole country, is that clear?

- Yeah, totally.

And then it's straight into the blowjob?

- Yes, but camera must see metaphorical level of blowjob,

otherwise scene falls apart.

- And the oral's on the table, Pawel.

- Yes, and it's pronounced P-A-V-E-W.

- We're going to need more light.

- [Darren Voiceover] Why do I do it?

It's my dream.

I want to be where Jason is.

- [Interviewer] Some people might say

it's quite an unusual dream.

- Well,

you know my dad was a porn star,

in the eighties and nineties.

Jake Long?

"Bus Shelter Sluts"..."Off the Rim"...

They were massive films, and dad was the star.

You could sort of say I'm carrying on the family tradition!

[soft rock music]

- Alright, darlin'! I'm here to fix your washing machine.

- But my husband's not in.

- That's alright.

- Can my friend watch?

- Oh, yeah!

- He wasn't one of those dads that, you know,

kicked a football around with me

or took me to the cinema or whatever.

Or ever came to see me.

I mean, I guess he was just busy with work, you know,

and his wife,

and his other kids,

but he always sent me a video of every film he was in.

So I did get to see a lot of him.

I was the only kid in my foster home

whose dad was on the telly.

I was dead proud of that.

- [Interviewer] And now you want to follow in his footsteps?

- Can you blame me?

It's an amazing life.

Having sex with beautiful women, and getting paid for it.

As soon as I got out of care,

I came straight down to London so I could get started.

- [Interviewer] Is your father happy

about your career choice?

- Well,

he died of a heroin overdose when I was about 12,

but I'm sure he'd be dead proud if he did know.

- [Interviewer] And how does your mother feel about it?

- Oh, she stopped writing back a few years ago.

- [Interviewer] What would you be doing

if you weren't working in pornography?

- Not much.

See, I'm from Carlisle,

and there aren't many jobs up there.

If I'd stayed, I'd probably be working in a chip shop.

- [Interviewer] Are you in a relationship?

- No, not at the moment.

I'm so focused on my career,

that I never really had time for a girlfriend.

- [Interviewer] And have you appeared

in front of the camera yet?

- No, not yet.

Still working my way up from the bottom.

But Barry's promised me he'll let me

have a walk-on part soon,

or even let me be a stunt cock,

which would just be amazing.

Oh,

a stunt cock is the person

you get to finish the scene if the lead can't,

because that's actually,

that's what it's about.

If you're a bloke, in porn,

that's it.

That's what you're paid for, and if you can't do that...well,

you're in the wrong job.

- [Interviewer] How long do you think it will take you?

- Well, that's usually up to the director.

I mean, sometimes they want you to last over an hour.

Sometimes they want it like that.

- [Interviewer] I meant, how long will it take you

to become a porn star?

- Oh, sorry.

Depends.

It's about luck really, isn't it?

I mean I'm 21, I've got the stamina.

I go to the gym.

I work here, so I can learn from the stars like Jason.

And then, hopefully, one day I'll get my break.

- [Interviewer] Do you think you'll be-

- [Pawel] I need fucking runner now!

- It is too dark.

I want more light on slave girl.

Jesus fucking Christ, I need more light!

- Bloody hell, I'm not Superman.

- Thank you.

First positions, everyone.

- We're turning. Board in.

"The Seven Holes of Rome", Scene One.

- And...action!

- I've never seen a slave girl like you before.

- Janine, have we got any vegans in this time?

Only there wasn't any hummus at Aldi.

- [Janine] No, no vegans.

And just one vegetarian.

- Ooh, that makes a change.

I've got some nice pork pies in.

- [Interviewer] And what's your role in the company?

- Me? Oh, I'm just a general dogsbody.

- [Barry] I don't want the cops sniffing around,

so just torch it, yeah?

Call you later.

Hello, mum.

- Hello, son.

How's it going out there?

- Yeah, not bad, not bad.

I just gotta make a few phone calls.

- All right, see you in a bit.

- [Interviewer] How long have you been working

for Liquid Dreams?

- 18 years, come June.

I used to be the fluffer when Barry first started out.

He was a bit short-staffed, so I used to help out.

Mind you, there's not much call for it these days,

what with that Viagra.

So I just do the lunches.

Suits me.

Barry don't pay me, but I like to help out.

And I'll be a stunt hole when they need one.

Some of the girls don't always keep themselves nice.

- [Interviewer] What does that entail?

Oh, usually anal.

Prawn mayonnaise is alright, isn't it?

- [Janine] Fine.

[sexual moaning, slapping]

- [Jason] Who's the caesar?

- What about last year, when I was in

"Black Girls are Pink on the Inside"?

You definitely took a photocopy then.

- Barry doesn't like to hang on to too much paperwork.

He might have thrown it away.

Thanks, darling.

- Don't you feel exploited?

- A little, but it was not so bad.

- I just don't think, however good the money was,

I don't think I could bring myself to do that.

Thank you.

I mean, I'm a trained actor after all.

- All you have to do is just stand and smile.

You show jewelry to camera,

and then presenter describes jewelry,

and then many people phone in and buy them.

- Yeah but I just know how theater actors

especially feel about doing stuff like that.

- And last week they let me keep the necklace.

Zirconium was really large.

- Wages of sin, darling.

[local radio traffic bulletin]

- Lien,

I need to take your passport for photocopying.

Passport.

- No passport.

- Oh, right.

- What you want?

- I need to see Lien's passport.

- Why?

- I need to take a photocopy with the work permit.

- No.

- But we do it for everyone.

We photocopy for anyone that works for us,

otherwise there's problems with the immigration authorities.

- Immigration?

- Yes.

- Okay, I get passport from car.

- Thank you.

- What color is permit?

- It depends on the type. Usually green.

- Green?

Okay,

I will come back.

- Everybody, I want to rehearse next scene in five minutes.

Five minutes.

- Jesus, he's a slave-driver.

- Could we have Jason, Brad and Shannon on set please?

Thank you very much.

- [Shannon] At least someone's polite around here.

- Jason?

I was wondering if I could maybe talk to you.

- Not a good time,

I gotta focus on this next scene.

- No, I mean after we wrap tonight.

'cause I'm, well,

I want to be a performer like you,

and I just want to get some advice from you really,

if that's okay.

- No problem.

What's your name again?

- Darren. Darren Long.

I worked on "Fire in the Hole" as well,

but maybe you don't remember.

- Well, you know what it's like.

- So I'll see you later on?

- No worries.

- Thanks.

Thanks so much.

So they're gonna take a mold of it,

and make a rubber one, full size.

Exactly the same,

even down to the veins.

It'll have me signature on it,

and they're gonna put a photo of me on the box.

The women'll love it.

The authentic Jason Silver experience.

The bloke reckons they'll sell thousands.

- How much are they paying?

- Katya, from you I need more.

This is most dramatic part of story for

Slave Girl Number 1.

- We haven't got that far yet.

They're bound to fly off the shelves.

- Jesus Christ, what are you doing?

- Deep penetration shot.

Need the best angle.

- You almost kill me.

- Pawel, what's my motivation here?

What's Centurion trying to express

by getting sucked off?

- Read fucking script!

I need runner, I need coffee!

- Why don't we take five?

- That is good idea. [cursing in Polish]

- Brad, I'll make sure you get one when they come out,

like a souvenir.

- Thanks Jason, that'd be great.

- [Barry] Yeah, and do it properly this time,

'cause they can identify the body from the dental records.

Yeah.

I'll call you back later, I've got to go.

- Barry, Barry?

Unfortunately, he's been on set all morning.

I haven't been able to get hold of him.

Yeah, yeah, I will tell him you called. Again.

Yeah.

I dunno when he can call you back, I'm afraid.

He's, hello?

Hello?

- I have passport of Lien.

- Oh, right, lovely.

I'll just take a copy.

Is this supposed to be a work permit?

- Yes, is fine.

- But I can't accept this.

- What is problem?

- Well it's not a real permit!

- Is.

- It isn't.

- Yes, is.

- Barry.

Can you come out here please? We've got a problem.

- [Barry] We don't have problems, Janine.

- Well, we've got an issue then.

- Ah, Edon. Good to see you.

Yeah.

Is Lien enjoying the shoot?

- Yes, she like very much.

- Well, what can I do you for?

- It's Lien's permit. It's not real.

- You sure you're reading the dates right, Janine?

- It hasn't got any dates, it's not a real permit.

- Well, that's definitely a production issue, Janine.

Coffee'd be nice.

- So no problem.

- Well, it is a problem.

We can't employ people that haven't got a right

to work in this country, it's against the law.

We could get fined up to 10,000 pounds

or they close us down.

- Is not problem.

- Is not problem.

No.

I'll just make a copy.

- [speaking in Albanian]

[Katya moaning]

- [Jason] Oh, yeah.

Have a bit of that!

- [Katya] Harder, harder.

- Where is Centurion? Spit-roast should start by now.

Where is Centurion?

We need Centurion, where is he?

Well, go find him! - Okay, okay.

Brad, you're on.

- I only take my cue from the director, thank you.

- Hail, Caesar!

- [Jason] Oh, I've lost wood.

- [Katya] I must piss.

- Cut! Somebody get me aspirin!

- Yeah, I'm really pleased with today's shoot.

It's going even better than I predicted.

- [Interviewer] So you're not aware of any problems?

Any issues with the shoot?

- Of course, there's gonna be issues.

I mean there's bound to be issues, but you know,

that's the same in any business.

- [Interviewer] You're not worried about

the delays in shooting today?

- Well, there was a delay while we waited for Lien to arrive

and we are having to re-shoot

part of the spit-roast scene, but, no, I'm not worried.

- [Interviewer] Will this add to production costs?

- No, as long as we finish shooting by 11:59 on Friday.

- [Interviewer] Why not?

- Well everybody's paid for a three day shoot.

So we could shoot for 72 hours straight,

and it wouldn't cost me any more money.

So as long as we wrap before Saturday, no issue.

- [Interviewer] Is that legal?

- [Barry] Maybe not for you lot in TV!

[Barry laughing]

Yeah, so I'm pleased.

Very pleased indeed.

- I'm so drained.

You know? Like,

I feel like I give a part of my soul away to each character,

but that's art.

- Don't you like the shagging, then?

- [Darren] Hi Jason. - Yes.

- Oh yeah, Dan.

- Darren.

- Yeah.

- Are you still free to talk to me?

- So long as it's quick. Got a busy evening,

you know how it is.

- Yeah.

- So what do you want to know?

- Well, I just wanted your advice really,

about working in the industry.

- What's the dream?

- I want to be you.

I mean, I want to be where you are,

a performer, the best in the business.

- You don't want much then.

- I know, it's stupid.

I could never be as good as you,

but even to be half as good would be amazing.

- Listen, kid,

it takes a lot of talent to succeed in this industry.

And some things you just can't learn.

It's just what God gave you.

I've got 10 inches.

What have you got?

- Well, I can act okay.

- No, I mean, how big's your cock?

- Oh,

well it's about nine inches.

- Thick?

- Yeah, I suppose so.

- You'd better show me.

- Oh, I haven't got any photos on my phone.

I can, I mean I can-

- Just get it out.

- Okay. Yeah, sure.

- And it gets longer when it's hard?

- Yeah, about half as long again.

- It's not very thick, though.

- It's okay, right?

- Okay.

There's a lot of blokes out there with okay.

- It's getting shorter now.

- [Interviewer] How are you feeling?

- Yeah, yeah, not too bad.

A bit tired.

- [Interviewer] Are you upset by what Jason said?

- A bit,

I suppose, but he was just being honest.

You know, he's been in this business a long time,

I mean, he's one of the big names, Jason Silver.

It's like Ron Jeremy or Ben Dover, you know.

Just a legend so,

yeah, he knows what he's talking about.

- [Interviewer] Does this mean your dream is over?

- I don't know. I mean I'll have to

think my way around this and look at me other options.

- [Interviewer] What are your other options?

- Well,

there's gay porn.

I have heard that quite a few straight blokes do it,

you know, gay for pay.

Money's good.

Maybe you don't have to have a huge cock if you like, take.

I mean, I've never done that before,

but I could give it a go.

I'm sure you get used to it.

[club dance music]

- It's the best place to wind down after a hard day on set.

Catch up with me mates,

have a laugh, set the world to rights.

Round here, they all know who I am,

but they don't make a big thing of it.

It's nice to have a break from the fame sometimes.

So have you watched the DVD?

- Yeah.

- I got an award for that one.

Best male performer, 2008.

Did you like it then?

- No.

My boyfriend did though.

3.40 please.

Cheers.

- [Interviewer] Does the fame ever get to you?

- Sometimes, yeah.

But this is where I can escape to,

you know, a man's home is his castle.

- [Woman] Tea won't be long, son.

- Thanks, mom.

- [Interviewer] Has your career ever had

a negative effect on your relationships?

- No.

That's not why my wife left me.

- [Interviewer] Do you have any children?

- Yeah, two.

Me boy's eight, and me little girl's five.

They're great.

Every weekend I see 'em, they have something new to tell me.

Kids are amazing.

- [Interviewer] How would you feel

if they decided to work in porn films?

- They're a bit young.

- [Interviewer] I meant when they're adults.

- Oh right.

Well, if my boy decides he wants to do porn, I'll be happy.

It's a good career.

And he takes after his dad in the trouser department,

so he'll have no worries about that.

But me little girl?

No.

I mean, I know women make more money

than men in the industry,

but at the end of the day, if you're a woman in porn,

you're just an object, aren't you?

And I've kept all my reviews as well.

It's a good thing to have, you know?

Memories and that.

Mom takes this down the bingo with her to show off, don't you?

- Well I'm a proud mother, aren't I?

- She looks at this more than I do, don't you?

- Show 'em your reviews, love.

- Here we go, "Space Orgy 1", three stars.

"Open All Hours", just saw that one.

Eight out of ten, pretty good.

Here's one of me all-time best,

"Zookeepers Take it From Behind"

Where am I mentioned?

Oh yeah.

Jason Silver, in the cast list.

Not bad, eh?

- Upset me?

How can this upset me more?

- All right Janine, make a note.

We'll send Darren out to Starbucks or something.

- Finally, thank you.

Who has instant coffee on film shoot? Jesus.

- Right, now we're all ready for today's shoot, yeah?

- Yes, if I can make these people to act.

- Now, tomorrow. Final day,

big finale: the orgy scene.

Is there anything else we're gonna need for that?

- Well, I have been having some new ideas.

I think we need some more actors.

- Pawel, we're already stretched over budget as it is,

I'm not gonna be able to give you

any more actors, I'm afraid.

- But if we don't have to pay them?

- I admire your thinking Pawel,

but we're not gonna find anybody

who is willing to do it for free.

- Children.

- What do you mean?

- We could have children in film.

You do not pay children, you give them candy.

- That's true.

- It's also illegal.

- So what would they be doing, exactly?

Well, they will be in swimming pool with Emperor Cumonus.

- In the final orgy scene?

- Yes, they will be minnows,

as Emperor Tiberius had.

I want to make historical connection with Tiberius.

Will Cumonus die also in same way?

Will Centurion kill him?

- Well these are interesting questions, Pawel,

but we've got to consider the cost.

I mean swimming costumes.

How many kids you talking about?

- Maybe ten, not many.

And they will be naked,

so we do not need for them swimming costumes.

- Brilliant! Sounds like a fantastic idea.

- You're not allowed to have children in porn films.

- That's more of a production issue, Janine.

Look, can you get us a couple of coffees, love?

And can you send Darren in?

I want to get him cracking on this straight away.

- [Interviewer] Aren't you worried

that you are stepping into dangerous territory by filming children?

- Dangerous territory?

No. I mean, that kid who did "Home Alone",

he was pretty young when he did that.

- [Interviewer] But "Home Alone" wasn't a porn film.

- I think we will disagree about this.

Anyway, the children will be 10, 11 years old.

They will be old enough to understand

exactly what is happening.

- [Interviewer] What are you doing here

this morning, Darren?

- Well, I'm trying to get models for the shoot tomorrow.

- [Interviewer] What kind of models are you looking for?

- Pawel told me he wants a mix of boys and girls,

between the ages of 10 and 12, he said.

- [Interviewer] So you're hoping

to find models in the school?

- Yep.

Although,

they'll still be in classes now, won't they?

I guess I'll have to wait till break time.

- [Interviewer] Are you concerned about the fact

that the children will be appearing in a pornographic film?

- Yes.

I asked Barry if it was legal.

- [Interviewer] And what did he say?

- He didn't really say anything,

but Pawel told me that if I didn't do this, he'd sack me,

and I'd never work in the industry ever again.

- [Interviewer] Do you think that you're going to be able

to find children willing to be in the film?

- I'm not really sure.

Barry gave me these flyers to hand out.

Maybe it will work.

- [Interviewer] Have you had to do

anything like this before?

- No, not really.

I mean,

I suppose it's all good experience for, you know,

working in the industry.

Hi, do you want to be in a film?

- Sod off, pedo.

- Can I help you?

You're late for assembly, Becky.

- Hi, yes.

We're from a film production company

and we are looking for models, I mean, actors,

to be in our film.

- This is a school, why are you looking here?

- We need models between the ages of 10 and 12.

- Then you should apply formally

through the head teacher's office in writing.

- Well I was just told to hand out these flyers

to the kids in the playground.

- May I see one of those?

- Yeah.

We just want to film the kids.

- I'm calling the police.

- Look, it's not how it looks, okay?

The kids won't be having sex.

- Yes, police please.

- I think it's time to go back to the studio now.

- Come back here!

You're not going anywhere.

- I'm afraid it's no use threatening me.

I'm just the producer. - Janine.

- Darren, how'd it go?

- Oh, good.

Empty-handed, you got rid of all the flyers, then?

- Yeah. Yeah.

- Well done, son!

[Pawel shouting]

We should have a good crowd for tomorrow then.

You'd better go and see what Pawel wants.

He's a nice kid, but he's not cut out for this business.

- [Katya] Good morning.

- Morning.

- You want cup of tea?

- No, I'm all right. Thanks, love.

- What is wrong with this city?

Delays on the Tube again.

It would have been quicker to walk. Jesus.

- You want cup of tea?

- Is there coffee?

- There is instant.

- I would rather die.

Tea it is.

I'm in such a mood from the Tube!

We have an anal scene tonight, don't we?

- Yeah.

- Right, okay.

Is that single or double penetration?

- Single. Jason ain't in that scene.

- Thank goodness! I can't stand double.

I always feel like it's really hard to give it your all

when someone else's legs are in your performance space.

Plus, very few directors can actually

block a DP scene convincingly,

although I think Pawel will do an incredible job.

- [Darren] Hey, guys.

- Hi, sweetheart.

- Are we going in now? I've only just arrived.

- No, no, you're cool.

It's just the rehearsal for the girl-on-girl scene.

Can we have Katya and Shannon on set, please?

- Thank you, darling.

- [Shannon] How heavy do you want me to go on your nipples?

[Katya muffled]

- What would I be doing if I didn't work in porn?

- Probably something with the RSC.

Maybe TV.

"Silent Witness"?

"Silent Witness".

- I would work in office.

Maybe.

Back in Lithuania I would work in power station.

- I don't know.

I don't want another job.

[speaking in Mandarin Chinese]

- She say good make massage.

Very cheap.

- I don't know.

- [Interviewer] How do your family feel

about your career choice?

- Well, Barry's stepdad, he wants me to retire.

He says at my age I should be taking things easy.

But I enjoy it, so why not?

- [Interviewer] What do you think you would be doing

if you didn't work in the adult entertainment industry?

- I don't know.

I'd probably be working on a checkout,

but that's no kind of life, is it?

I'd be ashamed to tell the grandkids

that I worked in a supermarket.

Hello love, are you alright?

- Yeah.

Are you okay to stunt hole?

- Of course I am, who is it?

- It's Katya.

It's for the closeup.

- Oh, no problem, I'll be in in a minute.

Janine, I'm just going on set.

I'll warm them sausage rolls up in a minute.

[nature documentary on TV in background]

- Daddy loves you, too.

Can't wait to see you at the weekend.

I miss you too, sweetheart.

Can you put Mommy back on?

So I'll pick them up on Saturday.

About nine.

I've already given you this month's money.

Well what's it gone on?

And were all those clothes for the kids?

[quiz show on TV in background]

We'll talk about this later.

- Can we have Jason, Shannon, Brad and Katya on set please?

- Can you put for me in fridge one Scottish egg?

- No problem, love. Of course I will.

- Thank you.

- Here we go again.

- Finally, slave girl lying on table,

and fade out.

- And then the money shot's the last part of the scene?

- No, last thing is slave girl lying on table.

She is ravaged like homeland.

Beauty is destroyed.

- So when's the money shot?

- I actually haven't had mine yet, either.

- There is no money shot.

- What?

- There is no money shot.

- Great rehearsal guys, I think.

Pawel, what's all this about no money shot?

Are you trying to give me another heart attack?

- There will be no ejaculating in this scene.

- What a joker!

Look, I'll tell you what everybody, why don't you all take five,

and I'll discuss things with Pawel?

Pawel old son, you had me going for a minute.

No money shot.

- I am not having you going.

- But this is porn, Pawel.

There's always a money shot.

- It is not porn, it is art.

Anyway there are many money shots in the film,

but not in this scene.

It does not work with complex narrative I have written.

- Well, I'm sure it does Pawel.

We've got to think of the audience here.

- I am director, and I do not want ejaculating.

- And I've got a lot of money invested in this film.

- You don't like it?

- No Pawel, no I don't.

- Then you will find new fucking director.

I will leave and I will take EU funding with me.

- Any news?

- No, they're still in Barry's office.

- Thank God we get paid by the day.

- Kid, you're gonna need to sort out the gents.

- Why?

- The toilet's blocked, it's leaking all over the floor.

- Can I have everybody back on set, please?

- Are we having a money shot or not?

- For artistic reasons Pawel and I have agreed

there is to be no money shot in this particular scene.

- This is the weirdest film I've ever worked on.

- However, I would like everybody

to stay a little later tonight.

- Why do I have to stay behind?

- Will you pay extra?

- Well, I just want to get a cum shot,

you know, for emergencies.

- Of course.

- Best wait until Pawel's left, though.

Keep it on the down low.

- Darling, what do you want me to call you,

bitch or slut? I forget your preference.

- As for me, I think slut is better.

- Slut? - Slut.

- Slut, okay.

[upbeat music]

- [Interviewer] Katya, how do you feel today went?

- It was normal.

- Oh no, I just wrapped.

I had another scene to do, so-

It was nothing, just some BBC costume drama.

Yeah, a complete yawn!

- [Interviewer] How do you think filming went today, Jason?

- Yeah, I thought I was pretty good.

I've just seen some of the playback.

I think it could be the best performance of me career.

Barry's already talking about awards.

- [Interviewer] What are you going to do now?

- Going down the pub to celebrate, usual crowd.

There'll be some mischief tonight, I'll tell ya.

- [Interviewer] Are you filming tomorrow as well?

- Yeah, I know some blokes in the business

can't go out on the sauce the night before a shoot.

But I've never had any problem performing.

I'll be there tomorrow, bright and early, and hard.

Night!

- I thought that'd fit really well with the film.

Pawel might want to do a closeup

if I'm doing a handjob or something.

- Darling, do you take sugar in your tea? I don't remember.

- Yes please, one.

As for me, I think they are pretty.

I like palm trees.

- Can I have everybody's attention please?

I've got some tragic news.

There's no easy way to put this.

Jason's dead.

- What?

- Oh my God!

- Yeah, he bled to death last night at the pub.

- Was he stabbed?

Who would stab Jason?

- No, no, nothing like that.

He caught his cock...his penis...

in his fly when he was having a wee

and he severed an artery.

They found him on the floor of the gents,

got him into the back of the ambulance.

But it was too late, he'd lost too much blood.

The doctors said it was the size that killed him.

If he'd had a smaller penis, who knows? He might have survived.

[Shannon crying]

- Jason Silver, dead.

I don't believe it.

- You know his real name was Alan?

- So, is film over?

- I don't know, Katya.

I mean, at this point, I'm trying to hold things together

'cause I know it's what Jason would have wanted.

- Definitely.

- Absolutely.

I mean the show must go on.

- Now look, we're not going to be able to do much shooting,

so you might as well all take an early lunch.

But be back by one, yeah?

- It's unbelievable.

He was here yesterday.

Now he's gone.

- I gave him blowjob. Now he's dead.

- [Shannon] Hello, puppy!

- [Interviewer] Are you worried about the future

of the film now that Jason is dead?

- No, I'm sad that he's gone.

I miss working with him,

but I'm sure we'll carry on.

Barry'll sort something out.

- [Interviewer] How are you gonna pass the time

before you're due back on set?

- I've come to meet Tony at work,

see if we can sneak in a quickie on his break.

I'm so horny! [laughing]

- [Man] Alright, Shannon?

- Hi Dean, you alright?

- Are you seeing Tony?

- Yeah.

- I'll let him know you're here.

- Thanks, love.

Tony doesn't actually work in the slaughterhouse.

He's in Accounts Payable.

- [Interviewer] How long have you been together?

- Almost two years.

- [Interviewer] How did you meet?

- He sent me fan mail, can you believe it?

At first I thought he was one of them saddos.

You know, loves my work.

But he wrote me a really sweet letter,

and he sent me a poem.

So I wrote back, and the rest is, as they say...

- [Interviewer] Where do you see the relationship going?

- Well...marriage, I hope.

I just can't imagine being with anyone else.

He's so clever.

And supportive, and he loves my work,

but he's looking to the future.

He wants me to go back and finish my education,

which is something I thought I'd never do.

Porn just got in the way.

But yeah, he wants me to go back to college.

- [Interviewer] And is that what you want?

- One day, yeah.

I love my job, but I can't keep doing it forever.

People aren't gonna pay to see it

when it's down by my knees, are they?

- Well, we're all very upset obviously.

Jason was like one of the family,

and we are a family here.

You know, a family who has sex with each other.

- [Interviewer] Can you continue making the film now?

- To be honest, I don't know.

I'm waiting now to speak to Pawel about it,

but you know, I think, you know,

as I said to the cast and crew just now,

I think that's what Jason would have wanted.

He would have wanted us to continue.

I mean he was devoted to this industry.

- Pawel will be here in a minute.

- All right, Janine.

Send him in when he gets here.

- Yeah.

- Oh Janine, can you give Jason's mum a call?

- Yeah.

- I spoke to her just now, she seemed a little upset.

And I did explain that it is in his contract.

He only gets paid at the end of filming.

So you're gonna have to smooth that over.

Worst comes to worst,

send her some M&S vouchers or something.

- Yeah, of course.

- Well, unfortunately, a contract's a contract.

I mean, even at this sad, sad time.

Pawel, there you are, take a seat.

I broke the tragic news to Pawel this morning,

and he was of course devastated.

- How am I going to finish my fucking movie?

- There's a lot of support from the cast to continue, Pawel.

- Barry?

- Yeah.

- The crew are wondering

if we're going to be shooting anything today

or can they go home?

- If they want to get paid, they'll stay.

- But how can we continue without Emperor Cumonus?

There's no lead actor.

- Well why don't we shoot some more scenes with Brad?

- No no no, whole story is about emperor.

We cannot make story about Centurion, whole film will die.

- [Darren] Pawel?

- When will you say it correct,

it's pronounced P-A-V-E-W!

We will shoot with new Cumonus.

- You're giving me an ulcer here.

- We will re-shoot, there isn't other way.

- But the money just isn't there for a re-shoot.

- But I can-

- Why the fuck still are you here?

This is a private meeting.

- What we need to do, is just get another actor.

We can sort the rest out in the edit.

- Yeah.

- I'll do it.

I'll play the emperor.

- You are too young, and you're not actor.

- He makes a fair point, Darren.

I mean, if we were to employ an inexperienced actor,

the film would suffer, artistically.

- I'll work for free.

- Now let's not be too hasty here, Pawel.

I mean, I've had my eye on young Darren here for a while

as someone with potential.

- I prefer to walk away from my film,

than have peasant in it.

- Well Pawel, that is of course your decision,

but it would be a shame to walk away

from your director's fee as well, wouldn't it?

- I want him to make screen test, with one slave girl, now.

If it isn't good, he will not be in my film.

- Fair enough. Darren?

Great, let's get cracking then.

- A bit nervous, yeah.

- [Interviewer] What does this opportunity mean to you?

- Oh, it means everything.

I've waited all my life for this,

and I finally get the chance to prove myself.

- Just treat it the same as any of the other scenes

you've done with Jason.

- [Darren] I know my dad would be really proud.

- [Interviewer] Did you know you'd be doing

your screen test with Lien?

- No, I'm really pleased.

But I like all the girls, obviously.

- Finally, I have actors.

Now we must do this quickly.

- [Barry] Just lay down on the table, love.

Lien's ready when you are, Pawel.

- Camera turning.

- [Roger] Turning.

- Runner.

- Yes?

- I want you to fuck her now.

- Do you want any, er, foreplay?

- No, just fuck her.

- Okay.

- Right now.

Hurry up, fuck her already.

[uplifting organ music]

- Yeah, yeah I mean I'm very pleased, very pleased indeed.

I mean it was a great screen test,

and Pawel's very pleased too.

- [Interviewer] So you can finish the film?

- Absolutely.

- [Interviewer] Is that going to mean

a lot of extra work for the cast and crew?

- No, you see, that's why we pay 'em by the day,

and not the hour.

So we're gonna be filming till, I don't know, 11:59 tonight,

but we'll get it all done.

- [Interviewer] Aren't there going to be continuity problems

with two people playing one character?

- No, I've got one of the best editors in the business.

You will not be able to see the join.

[sexual bumping]

- I mean my accountant says I can offset it against my tax,

so I don't actually lose much.

- I'll have to look into that.

I could save myself a lot of money.

- [Pawel] And...cue emperor!

- Centurion, how dare you defile my wife?

- How was that for you darling?

- Yeah, good.

You did well, darling.

- Really? Thanks.

- Well done son, I knew you had it in you.

- It was just the rehearsal.

- The real thing'll be fine, don't worry about it.

- Where the fuck are my children?

I want to shoot orgy scene right after.

- Relax Pawel, they're not due till two.

- If they will not come, I will be killing some runners.

- [Interviewer] How is filming going this afternoon?

- Really, really well, yeah.

We're just about to shoot my first scene.

- [Interviewer] Are you nervous?

- You know what, no, not really.

I mean, I've been training for this for years.

So it's a dream come true.

- [Interviewer] What's going to happen

after you finish shooting this film?

- Well, I won't be going back to Carlisle.

- [Barry] You're joking!

- No, hopefully I'll get another film,

even if it's just a small part.

He's in a hurry.

- [Interviewer] So no plans to work

in a fish and chip shop?

- No, no.

You know, I feel like I've turned a corner.

My life's where I want it to be.

- [Interviewer] What kind of money can you expect to earn

from working in porn films?

- It all depends.

If I work a lot, I could earn a decent living.

I mean, some performers go into directing, producing,

which could be a big earner.

- [Interviewer] Do you feel-

[door banging open]

- [Officer] Police! Nobody move!

- Everybody put your hands in the air.

[screaming]

- Put the gun down, sir.

- No, you are Immigration, I kill you!

- Sir, we're not Immigration.

We're with the Met Pedophile Unit.

- Still, I kill you!

- Calm down, what's your name?

- Get back, I kill you all!

- I'm too young to die, I haven't even played Lear yet!

- [Pimp] Get back!

- [Officer] Secure that weapon!

- [Officer] Get that camera off!

- But we're with the BBC- - Get it off, now!

[banjo music]

- Yeah, I'm a bit disappointed to be honest with you.

I mean, I really thought I was gonna be living the dream.

- [Interviewer] What happened to you after the police raid?

- Well, we were all arrested and questioned.

They let most people go after a few hours,

but they kept me in overnight.

But then after a while they let me off with a caution,

so it all turned out good in the end.

- [Interviewer] Why did you come back to Carlisle?

- Well, with Barry gone,

there was no way of anyone getting any money for the shoot,

so I were broke pretty quick.

I couldn't pay my rent,

so I had to come back up here.

- [Interviewer] Will you get another film

in the porn industry?

- Maybe.

But I'm not that bothered, to be honest with you.

- [Interviewer] But it's been your dream

since you were very little, hasn't it?

- Yeah but, you know how things change.

I'm sort of happy where I am.

- [Interviewer] But isn't this exactly

what you didn't want to be doing with your life?

- What, working here you mean?

Yeah but,

it's only temporary.

I mean, we won't be here long.

Although Edon is in prison,

I still owe his gang two grand to buy Lien off them,

but as soon as I've paid the rest of that,

we'll be out of here, you know.

We'll get a little place,

somewhere in the country, just the two of us,

start a family.

It's what I've always wanted, really.

[Regrets, Secrets by Marcus O'Neill]

Night, boss.

I have no

Regrets

I have no

Secrets

I have no

Regrets

I have no

Secrets anymore

- [Interviewer] Graeme, what was going through your mind

when you pushed the light onto the pimp and saved the day?

- Oh, that foreign bloke was in the way,

I just wanted to go out the fire exit for a fag.

- [Interviewer] So you didn't intend to-

- Well I wanted to get him out of the way,

he was waving that fake gun around,

and I just wanted him out the way.

- [Interviewer] You know it was a real gun?

And have the cast and crew been quite grateful to you

for saving their lives?

- One of those porn girls gave me her number I suppose,

but I'm not really interested.

- [Interviewer] So a porn star gave you her phone number

and you're not, you're not going to follow that up?

- No, I'm not into all that.

- [Interviewer] And what's your next career move?

Are you gonna stay with the adult film industry,

or has this changed your opinion of working in porn?

- I'll just do whatever, you know,

whatever job comes along.

It doesn't really matter.

I don't really pay any attention,

I just flip the light on,

flip the light off.

It's very simple.

I have no

regrets

I have no

Secrets

I have no

Regrets

I have no

Secrets anymore