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1
00:00:01,460 --> 00:00:03,694
Monkeys are really the end
of the line in the pet world.
2
00:00:03,727 --> 00:00:06,094
I think when you're at the
monkey level of pet ownership,
3
00:00:06,127 --> 00:00:08,425
have a kid. I mean, come on.
4
00:00:08,459 --> 00:00:10,459
I mean, you're so close.
5
00:00:11,925 --> 00:00:14,759
If you need a pet that can
roller skate and smoke cigars,
6
00:00:14,792 --> 00:00:16,592
it's time to think
about a family.
7
00:00:18,659 --> 00:00:21,759
Monkeys, of course, were the
first astronauts in the '60s,
8
00:00:21,792 --> 00:00:24,592
which, I'm sure, made perfect
sense in the monkey brain.
9
00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:27,425
"I feel that is the next
logical step for me
10
00:00:27,459 --> 00:00:28,759
"because I've been workin'
11
00:00:28,792 --> 00:00:30,000
"with the Italian guy
and the crank organ,
12
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:30,725
"with the Italian guy
and the crank organ,
13
00:00:30,759 --> 00:00:35,292
and I think I'm ready to handle
the maximum reentry G-forces."
14
00:00:41,159 --> 00:00:43,425
Take toilet paper,
for example.
15
00:00:43,459 --> 00:00:45,959
Do you realize
that toilet paper
16
00:00:45,992 --> 00:00:49,025
has not changed
in my lifetime?
17
00:00:49,059 --> 00:00:51,259
It's just paper
on a cardboard roll.
18
00:00:51,292 --> 00:00:52,592
That's it.
19
00:00:52,625 --> 00:00:54,225
And in 10,000 years,
20
00:00:54,259 --> 00:00:55,925
it will still be
exactly the same,
21
00:00:55,959 --> 00:00:59,059
because, really,
what else can they do?
22
00:00:59,092 --> 00:01:01,125
Yeah, that's true.
23
00:01:01,159 --> 00:01:03,759
There really has been
no development in toilet paper.
24
00:01:03,792 --> 00:01:06,059
And, I mean, everything else
has changed.
25
00:01:06,092 --> 00:01:06,328
[CHUCKLES]
26
00:01:06,328 --> 00:01:07,059
[CHUCKLES]
27
00:01:07,092 --> 00:01:09,259
But toilet paper
is exactly the same,
28
00:01:09,292 --> 00:01:11,625
and will be so
until we're dead.
29
00:01:11,659 --> 00:01:14,925
Yeah, you're right,
George.
30
00:01:14,959 --> 00:01:16,625
What else can they do?
31
00:01:16,659 --> 00:01:19,059
It's just paper
on a roll, that's it,
32
00:01:19,092 --> 00:01:21,625
and that's all
it will ever be.
33
00:01:21,659 --> 00:01:23,092
Wow.
34
00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:25,125
You find this interesting,
don't you?
35
00:01:25,159 --> 00:01:26,959
Yes.
36
00:01:26,992 --> 00:01:28,592
Yes, I do.
37
00:01:37,259 --> 00:01:39,792
Oh, thanks very much.
The soup was really good.
38
00:01:43,492 --> 00:01:45,292
What are ya
tellin' him for?
39
00:01:45,325 --> 00:01:46,759
What?
40
00:01:46,792 --> 00:01:49,559
He's the busboy. You think
he cares about the soup?
41
00:01:49,592 --> 00:01:52,259
Yeah, well, wouldn't he want
the soup to be good?
42
00:01:52,292 --> 00:01:55,859
Elaine, it's all this guy can do
to keep from killin' himself.
43
00:01:55,892 --> 00:01:57,759
Come on.
44
00:01:57,792 --> 00:02:00,025
You think he's back there,
talkin' to the chef, goin',
45
00:02:00,059 --> 00:02:01,759
"Hey, they like the soup!
46
00:02:01,792 --> 00:02:03,592
Keep it up!"
47
00:02:03,625 --> 00:02:05,292
Hey, isn't that
Alec Berg?
48
00:02:05,325 --> 00:02:06,328
Yep.
49
00:02:06,328 --> 00:02:06,359
Yep.
50
00:02:06,392 --> 00:02:07,725
Alec Berg.
51
00:02:07,759 --> 00:02:09,392
He's got a good
John Houseman name.
52
00:02:09,425 --> 00:02:10,425
Yeah.
53
00:02:10,459 --> 00:02:11,925
[SNOOTILY]
Alec Berg.
54
00:02:11,959 --> 00:02:14,192
Mr. Berg.
55
00:02:14,225 --> 00:02:16,792
I can't stand him.
He is so pretentious.
56
00:02:16,825 --> 00:02:17,792
John Houseman?
57
00:02:17,825 --> 00:02:18,792
No, Alec Berg.
58
00:02:18,825 --> 00:02:19,792
Elaine!
59
00:02:19,825 --> 00:02:20,792
Hi!
Hi.
60
00:02:20,825 --> 00:02:22,092
Jerry.
Hi, Alec.
61
00:02:22,125 --> 00:02:23,925
Hey, did you hear
about Gary Fogel?
Yeah.
62
00:02:23,959 --> 00:02:25,559
You gonna go
to the funeral on Friday?
63
00:02:25,592 --> 00:02:27,092
Yeah, yeah.
64
00:02:27,125 --> 00:02:29,092
Hey, did I see you on TV
at the Ranger game?
65
00:02:29,125 --> 00:02:31,059
Are those your seats,
right behind the glass?
66
00:02:31,092 --> 00:02:32,759
Those are them, yeah.
Season tickets.
67
00:02:32,792 --> 00:02:34,959
Uh, you know, unfortunately,
I can't go tonight.
68
00:02:34,992 --> 00:02:36,328
So they're available
if you'd like to use them.
69
00:02:36,328 --> 00:02:37,025
So they're available
if you'd like to use them.
70
00:02:37,059 --> 00:02:38,525
Oh, I'd love to.
Are you sure?
71
00:02:38,559 --> 00:02:40,259
Absolutely.
You just call my secretary.
72
00:02:40,292 --> 00:02:41,459
She'll arrange everything.
73
00:02:41,492 --> 00:02:43,025
Gee, thanks.
Thanks a lot.
74
00:02:43,059 --> 00:02:44,025
Ah, it's my pleasure.
75
00:02:44,059 --> 00:02:45,259
Be good.
Okay.
76
00:02:45,292 --> 00:02:48,592
You know, I actually might
not use them on Friday either,
77
00:02:48,625 --> 00:02:50,025
so...I'll let you know.
78
00:02:50,059 --> 00:02:51,559
All right.
Thanks again.
79
00:02:51,592 --> 00:02:53,059
Thank you very much.
80
00:02:53,092 --> 00:02:54,459
Really, thank you.
81
00:02:58,825 --> 00:03:00,525
JERRY:
Well, what about these nitwits
82
00:03:00,559 --> 00:03:03,392
that get on a plane
with nothin' to read?
83
00:03:03,425 --> 00:03:04,925
Ya know who
these people are?
Who?
84
00:03:04,959 --> 00:03:06,328
These are the people
that wanna talk to you.
85
00:03:06,328 --> 00:03:07,592
These are the people
that wanna talk to you.
86
00:03:07,625 --> 00:03:09,759
They've got nothing else to do,
why not disturb you?
87
00:03:09,792 --> 00:03:11,959
I will never understand people.
88
00:03:11,992 --> 00:03:13,625
They're the worst.
89
00:03:15,792 --> 00:03:18,225
♪ Something's up ♪
90
00:03:18,259 --> 00:03:19,425
[GASPS]
91
00:03:19,459 --> 00:03:23,592
♪ There's something
In the air ♪
92
00:03:23,625 --> 00:03:25,625
Well, what is with you?
93
00:03:25,659 --> 00:03:27,425
Well...
94
00:03:27,459 --> 00:03:28,959
I think this is it.
95
00:03:28,992 --> 00:03:30,959
What's it?
96
00:03:30,992 --> 00:03:32,892
I saw Siena again.
97
00:03:32,925 --> 00:03:33,925
Siena?
98
00:03:33,959 --> 00:03:35,925
Yeah, he's dating a crayon.
99
00:03:35,959 --> 00:03:36,328
[BOTH LAUGHING]
100
00:03:36,328 --> 00:03:37,892
[BOTH LAUGHING]
101
00:03:39,392 --> 00:03:42,759
We discussed toilet paper.
102
00:03:42,792 --> 00:03:43,792
Toilet paper?
103
00:03:43,825 --> 00:03:45,225
Yep, yep,
104
00:03:45,259 --> 00:03:47,792
I told her how toilet paper
hasn't changed in my lifetime
105
00:03:47,825 --> 00:03:50,359
and probably wouldn't change
for the next 50,000 years,
106
00:03:50,392 --> 00:03:51,925
and she was fascinated.
107
00:03:51,959 --> 00:03:53,725
Fascinated!
108
00:03:53,759 --> 00:03:54,925
What are you
talkin' about?
109
00:03:54,959 --> 00:03:55,925
Yeah.
110
00:03:55,959 --> 00:03:57,225
Toilet paper's
changed.
111
00:03:57,259 --> 00:03:58,225
It's softer.
112
00:03:58,259 --> 00:03:59,525
Softer.
More sheets per role.
113
00:03:59,559 --> 00:04:00,625
Sheets.
114
00:04:00,659 --> 00:04:02,225
A wide variety
of colors.
Colors.
115
00:04:02,259 --> 00:04:04,459
All right. Okay. Fine, fine.
116
00:04:04,492 --> 00:04:06,328
It's changed.
It's not really the point.
117
00:04:06,328 --> 00:04:06,559
It's changed.
It's not really the point.
118
00:04:06,592 --> 00:04:08,525
Anyway, uh...
119
00:04:08,559 --> 00:04:10,059
I'm thinkin'
of makin' a big move.
120
00:04:10,092 --> 00:04:11,359
What?
121
00:04:11,392 --> 00:04:14,959
I might...tell her
that I love her.
122
00:04:16,592 --> 00:04:18,225
Oh, my.
Ooh.
123
00:04:19,292 --> 00:04:21,259
I, uh-- I came
this close last night,
124
00:04:21,292 --> 00:04:23,525
and then I just--
I just chickened out.
125
00:04:23,559 --> 00:04:24,692
Well...
126
00:04:24,725 --> 00:04:26,625
that's a big move,
Georgie-boy.
127
00:04:26,659 --> 00:04:28,825
Are you confident in
the "I love you" return?
128
00:04:29,959 --> 00:04:30,892
Fifty-fifty.
129
00:04:32,459 --> 00:04:34,759
'Cause if you don't
get that return...
130
00:04:34,792 --> 00:04:36,328
that's a pretty big matzo ball
hangin' out there.
131
00:04:36,328 --> 00:04:38,659
that's a pretty big matzo ball
hangin' out there.
132
00:04:40,725 --> 00:04:43,192
Well... I've just
gotta say it once.
133
00:04:43,225 --> 00:04:44,525
Everybody else gets to say it.
134
00:04:44,559 --> 00:04:45,692
Wh-wh-why can't I say it?
135
00:04:45,725 --> 00:04:47,892
What?
You've never said it?
136
00:04:47,925 --> 00:04:49,825
Once, to a dog.
137
00:04:51,292 --> 00:04:55,725
He licked himself
and left the room.
138
00:04:55,759 --> 00:04:57,725
Well, so it wasn't a total loss.
139
00:04:58,892 --> 00:05:00,225
Hey.
140
00:05:00,259 --> 00:05:02,025
Hey! I forgot
to tell ya!
141
00:05:02,059 --> 00:05:04,692
I got tickets to the
Rangers/Devils playoff tonight.
142
00:05:04,725 --> 00:05:06,328
Oh, I'm there.
Monongahela!
143
00:05:06,328 --> 00:05:07,725
Oh, I'm there.
Monongahela!
144
00:05:07,759 --> 00:05:08,925
What about you, George?
145
00:05:08,959 --> 00:05:10,959
Uh-uh-uh-uh.
Can't do it. Can't do it.
146
00:05:10,992 --> 00:05:12,092
Sorry, got a date.
147
00:05:12,125 --> 00:05:13,259
So? So?
148
00:05:13,292 --> 00:05:15,792
No, no, no,
if you must know, I...
149
00:05:15,825 --> 00:05:17,625
I would rather
be with her than...
150
00:05:17,659 --> 00:05:18,859
Than go to the game.
151
00:05:18,892 --> 00:05:20,125
Ooh!
152
00:05:20,159 --> 00:05:22,292
Well, she must be a very
special lady, huh, George?
153
00:05:22,325 --> 00:05:23,392
Ha!
Yeah.
154
00:05:23,425 --> 00:05:25,092
Well, what do I do
with the extra ticket?
155
00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:27,692
Oh, hey! Can I bring
David Puddy?
156
00:05:27,725 --> 00:05:28,692
He's a big Devils fan.
157
00:05:28,725 --> 00:05:29,859
Sure, fine with me.
158
00:05:29,892 --> 00:05:30,959
Hey, by the way,
159
00:05:30,992 --> 00:05:33,425
if anybody wants
an inside tour of the zoo,
160
00:05:33,459 --> 00:05:35,559
Sienna works there as a trainer.
161
00:05:35,592 --> 00:05:36,328
So she works at the zoo?
162
00:05:36,328 --> 00:05:36,759
So she works at the zoo?
163
00:05:36,792 --> 00:05:37,925
Yeah, yeah.
164
00:05:37,959 --> 00:05:39,892
Yeah, like Dian Fossey, huh?
165
00:05:39,925 --> 00:05:41,392
You know,
she's the only person
166
00:05:41,425 --> 00:05:43,759
that's ever been accepted
into gorilla society.
167
00:05:43,792 --> 00:05:46,025
And you know,
once those gorillas accept you,
168
00:05:46,059 --> 00:05:47,892
you got it made
in the shade.
169
00:05:49,592 --> 00:05:52,592
ELAINE:
Hey, so how long
have you been a Devils fan?
170
00:05:52,625 --> 00:05:55,059
PUDDY:
Since I was a kid.
I'm from Jersey.
171
00:05:55,092 --> 00:05:59,125
Yeah? Well, we're gonna
kick your butts tonight.
172
00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:00,425
Ain't no way, man.
173
00:06:00,459 --> 00:06:01,559
Yes.
174
00:06:01,592 --> 00:06:02,759
We're primed.
175
00:06:02,792 --> 00:06:04,192
All right, you almost ready?
176
00:06:04,225 --> 00:06:06,328
'Cause Jerry and Kramer are
gonna be here any second.
177
00:06:06,328 --> 00:06:06,425
'Cause Jerry and Kramer are
gonna be here any second.
178
00:06:10,392 --> 00:06:11,792
What the--?
179
00:06:11,825 --> 00:06:12,925
So what do ya think?
180
00:06:12,959 --> 00:06:14,592
What is that?
181
00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:15,592
I painted my face.
182
00:06:16,392 --> 00:06:17,592
You painted your face?
183
00:06:17,625 --> 00:06:18,592
Yeah.
184
00:06:18,625 --> 00:06:19,959
Why?
185
00:06:19,992 --> 00:06:22,592
Oh, you know,
support the team.
186
00:06:24,125 --> 00:06:26,592
Well, ya can't walk around
like that.
187
00:06:26,625 --> 00:06:27,759
Why not?
188
00:06:27,792 --> 00:06:29,892
Because...
189
00:06:29,925 --> 00:06:31,625
it's insane?
190
00:06:31,659 --> 00:06:33,792
They gotta know you're there.
This is the playoffs.
191
00:06:33,825 --> 00:06:35,292
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
192
00:06:37,292 --> 00:06:38,659
Yah!
193
00:06:41,259 --> 00:06:42,225
Hey.
194
00:06:42,259 --> 00:06:43,925
Hi.
195
00:06:43,959 --> 00:06:46,125
Dave's, um...
196
00:06:46,159 --> 00:06:47,959
painted his face.
197
00:06:47,992 --> 00:06:49,392
Oh. Yeah, yeah,
that's cool.
198
00:06:49,425 --> 00:06:50,925
You gotta support
your team, huh?
199
00:06:50,959 --> 00:06:52,425
Okay, ready to go?
200
00:06:52,459 --> 00:06:54,025
Let's get it on!
201
00:06:54,059 --> 00:06:56,725
All right! Go, Devils!
Go, Devils!
202
00:06:56,759 --> 00:06:58,259
Let's go, Devils!
203
00:06:58,292 --> 00:07:00,559
Come on!
204
00:07:00,592 --> 00:07:02,825
[ORGAN PLAYING FESTIVE MELODY]
205
00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:06,328
You stink, Messier!
206
00:07:06,328 --> 00:07:07,925
You stink, Messier!
207
00:07:07,959 --> 00:07:10,359
We're gonna get you,
Messy Ass!
208
00:07:10,392 --> 00:07:11,792
Will you sit down?
209
00:07:11,825 --> 00:07:13,959
Hey, man, I'm just tryin'
to support the team.
210
00:07:13,992 --> 00:07:16,959
David, will you sit down? You're
disturbing everybody. Sit down.
211
00:07:16,992 --> 00:07:18,792
Oh, yeah. 'Cause
you're a Rangers fan,
212
00:07:18,825 --> 00:07:21,359
and you know I'm messin'
with their heads.
213
00:07:21,392 --> 00:07:22,425
Yeah! Let's go!
214
00:07:22,459 --> 00:07:23,425
[SIREN BLARING]
215
00:07:25,992 --> 00:07:27,792
ANNOUNCER [OVER RADIO]:
Devils' goal!
216
00:07:27,825 --> 00:07:30,925
Stephane Richer scores
from just inside the blue line.
217
00:07:30,959 --> 00:07:32,092
And the Devils take--
218
00:07:32,125 --> 00:07:33,792
[RADIO SILENCES]
219
00:07:33,825 --> 00:07:36,328
Well, you know I could
have actually gone to that.
220
00:07:36,328 --> 00:07:37,425
Well, you know I could
have actually gone to that.
221
00:07:37,459 --> 00:07:39,125
So why didn't you?
222
00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:41,525
Well, didn't wanna
break our date.
223
00:07:41,559 --> 00:07:44,259
Oh. Well...
224
00:07:45,959 --> 00:07:47,559
Because I...
225
00:07:50,159 --> 00:07:51,525
I love you.
226
00:07:51,559 --> 00:07:52,925
You know? I'm hungry.
227
00:07:52,959 --> 00:07:54,792
Let's get something to eat.
228
00:07:56,992 --> 00:07:58,092
[GUFFAWS]
229
00:07:58,125 --> 00:07:59,292
We took it to ya.
230
00:07:59,325 --> 00:08:01,259
You couldn't get it
outta your zone all night.
231
00:08:01,292 --> 00:08:03,425
We were aggressive.
We didn't let you penetrate!
232
00:08:03,459 --> 00:08:05,292
Yeah, all right.
That's enough outta you.
233
00:08:05,325 --> 00:08:06,328
There's still three more games
left in this series, my friend,
234
00:08:06,328 --> 00:08:08,425
There's still three more games
left in this series, my friend,
235
00:08:08,459 --> 00:08:10,092
and it's far from being over.
236
00:08:10,125 --> 00:08:12,425
Very far from being over.
Watch out!
237
00:08:13,459 --> 00:08:14,425
Hey, what are ya doin'?
238
00:08:14,459 --> 00:08:16,225
Watch where you're drivin', man!
239
00:08:17,292 --> 00:08:18,759
Don't mess
with the Devil, buddy!
240
00:08:18,792 --> 00:08:20,592
We're number one.
We beat anybody.
241
00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,459
We're the Devils!
242
00:08:22,492 --> 00:08:24,359
The Devils!
243
00:08:24,392 --> 00:08:25,759
[HISSES]
244
00:08:27,425 --> 00:08:29,059
El diablo.
245
00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:30,959
Dios mío...
246
00:08:30,992 --> 00:08:32,592
!¡El diablo!
247
00:08:33,892 --> 00:08:35,092
JERRY:
"I'm hungry.
248
00:08:35,125 --> 00:08:36,328
Let's get something to eat."
249
00:08:36,328 --> 00:08:39,492
Let's get something to eat."
250
00:08:41,559 --> 00:08:43,092
Yep.
251
00:08:45,892 --> 00:08:46,892
Big matzo ball.
252
00:08:46,925 --> 00:08:49,059
Huge matzo ball.
253
00:08:50,225 --> 00:08:53,425
Those damn "I love you" returns.
254
00:08:53,459 --> 00:08:55,259
Well, it's all over,
I slipped up.
255
00:08:55,292 --> 00:08:56,259
Oh, you don't know.
256
00:08:56,292 --> 00:08:58,192
You know how fast
these things deteriorate
257
00:08:58,225 --> 00:09:00,092
when there's an "I love you"
outta the bag?
258
00:09:00,125 --> 00:09:01,592
You can't have a relationship
259
00:09:01,625 --> 00:09:03,392
where one person says,
"I love you,"
260
00:09:03,425 --> 00:09:04,592
and the other one says,
261
00:09:04,625 --> 00:09:06,328
"I'm hungry.
Let's get something to eat."
262
00:09:06,328 --> 00:09:07,192
"I'm hungry.
Let's get something to eat."
263
00:09:07,225 --> 00:09:09,459
Unless you're married.
264
00:09:11,792 --> 00:09:14,559
I mean, now she thinks I'm one
of these guys that loves her.
265
00:09:14,592 --> 00:09:16,592
Nobody wants to be with somebody
that loves them.
266
00:09:16,625 --> 00:09:18,125
No, people hate that.
267
00:09:18,159 --> 00:09:19,792
You want somebody
who doesn't like ya.
268
00:09:19,825 --> 00:09:20,959
Ideally.
269
00:09:20,992 --> 00:09:23,059
Look, I am never saying
"I love you" again
270
00:09:23,092 --> 00:09:24,259
unless they say it first.
271
00:09:24,292 --> 00:09:25,259
Matzo ball soup.
272
00:09:25,292 --> 00:09:26,292
That would be me.
273
00:09:35,959 --> 00:09:36,328
Hey, Jerry?
274
00:09:36,328 --> 00:09:37,292
Hey, Jerry?
275
00:09:37,325 --> 00:09:38,759
You're a smart guy, right?
276
00:09:38,792 --> 00:09:40,592
No question about it.
All right.
277
00:09:40,625 --> 00:09:42,759
I was supposed to go
on this special tour today
278
00:09:42,792 --> 00:09:43,925
with George's girlfriend.
279
00:09:43,959 --> 00:09:45,559
At the zoo?
Yeah, but...
280
00:09:45,592 --> 00:09:47,259
before I met up with her,
281
00:09:47,292 --> 00:09:49,259
I stopped to look
at the monkeys,
282
00:09:49,292 --> 00:09:50,759
when all of a sudden,
283
00:09:50,792 --> 00:09:53,792
I am hit in the face
with a banana peel.
284
00:09:55,459 --> 00:09:56,725
I turn and look,
285
00:09:56,759 --> 00:10:00,792
and there is this monkey
really laughin' it up!
286
00:10:00,825 --> 00:10:03,792
Then someone tells me
that he did it.
287
00:10:03,825 --> 00:10:06,328
Well, I pick up
the banana peel,
288
00:10:06,328 --> 00:10:06,392
Well, I pick up
the banana peel,
289
00:10:06,425 --> 00:10:08,592
and I wait for that monkey
to turn around,
290
00:10:08,625 --> 00:10:11,025
and then I...whack...
291
00:10:11,059 --> 00:10:12,625
let him have it.
292
00:10:12,659 --> 00:10:15,225
Kramer, you threw a banana peel
at a monkey?
293
00:10:15,992 --> 00:10:18,259
Well, he started it!
294
00:10:19,592 --> 00:10:21,125
It's a monkey, Kramer.
295
00:10:21,159 --> 00:10:24,959
Well, he pushed my buttons.
I couldn't help it, Jerry!
296
00:10:24,992 --> 00:10:26,759
Well, I still think it's wrong.
297
00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:27,959
All right, all right, fine.
298
00:10:27,992 --> 00:10:29,892
Take the monkey's side,
all right, go ahead.
299
00:10:29,925 --> 00:10:31,925
I'm not takin' anyone's side!
300
00:10:31,959 --> 00:10:33,425
I know
what happened, Jerry.
301
00:10:34,292 --> 00:10:35,625
Oh!
302
00:10:35,659 --> 00:10:36,328
Did you call Alec Berg and thank
him for the hockey tickets?
303
00:10:36,328 --> 00:10:38,092
Did you call Alec Berg and thank
him for the hockey tickets?
304
00:10:38,125 --> 00:10:39,192
No.
305
00:10:39,225 --> 00:10:40,759
Oh, Jerry, what are you
waiting for?
306
00:10:40,792 --> 00:10:42,225
What am I gonna
call him for?
307
00:10:42,259 --> 00:10:44,225
I thanked him five times
when he gave them to me.
308
00:10:44,259 --> 00:10:46,359
No, no, no! You gotta call him
the next day.
309
00:10:46,392 --> 00:10:47,359
It's common courtesy.
310
00:10:47,392 --> 00:10:48,759
No, I don't believe in it.
311
00:10:48,792 --> 00:10:51,025
I'm takin' a stand against
all this over-thanking.
312
00:10:51,059 --> 00:10:53,725
Jerry, good manners
are the glue of society.
313
00:10:53,759 --> 00:10:56,059
Hey, if I knew I had to give him
8 million thank-yous,
314
00:10:56,092 --> 00:10:58,292
I wouldn't have taken
the tickets in the first place.
315
00:10:58,325 --> 00:10:59,592
You know what this
is gonna do?
316
00:10:59,625 --> 00:11:01,525
He's gonna be upset
because you didn't call,
317
00:11:01,559 --> 00:11:03,092
we won't get
Friday night tickets.
318
00:11:03,125 --> 00:11:04,259
Ah, you're outta your mind.
319
00:11:04,292 --> 00:11:05,525
Where are you going?
320
00:11:05,559 --> 00:11:06,328
I gotta get a suit cleaned.
I have a funeral on Friday.
321
00:11:06,328 --> 00:11:07,859
I gotta get a suit cleaned.
I have a funeral on Friday.
322
00:11:07,892 --> 00:11:08,959
Who died?
323
00:11:08,992 --> 00:11:11,225
Remember the guy
who pretended he had cancer
324
00:11:11,259 --> 00:11:13,459
so I would buy him the toupee?
325
00:11:14,459 --> 00:11:15,759
So he actually had it?
326
00:11:15,792 --> 00:11:17,225
No, car accident.
327
00:11:19,759 --> 00:11:22,292
He was trying to adjust
his toupee while he was driving,
328
00:11:22,325 --> 00:11:24,425
and he lost control of the car.
329
00:11:24,459 --> 00:11:26,725
[ORGAN PLAYING SOLEMN MELODY
330
00:11:27,659 --> 00:11:30,025
That poor priest.
331
00:11:30,059 --> 00:11:33,625
He was just visiting
from El Salvador.
332
00:11:33,659 --> 00:11:35,125
Now he's gone completely loco.
333
00:11:36,392 --> 00:11:38,592
The one Puddy screamed at
in the car?
334
00:11:38,625 --> 00:11:39,592
Yeah.
335
00:11:39,625 --> 00:11:42,625
He thinks he saw the devil.
336
00:11:42,659 --> 00:11:45,525
He won't leave his room
in the church basement.
337
00:11:45,559 --> 00:11:46,692
Well, that's what you get
338
00:11:46,725 --> 00:11:48,759
for gettin' mixed up
with a face painter.
339
00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:51,692
I mean, what compels
a seemingly normal human being
340
00:11:51,725 --> 00:11:52,925
to do something like that?
341
00:11:52,959 --> 00:11:55,159
[IMITATES PUDDY]
Gotta support the team.
342
00:11:56,559 --> 00:11:59,292
[WOMEN SOBBING]
343
00:12:08,125 --> 00:12:09,925
You know, I really hate
my clothes.
344
00:12:09,959 --> 00:12:11,259
Mmm.
345
00:12:11,292 --> 00:12:13,959
I open up my closet,
there's just nothing.
346
00:12:13,992 --> 00:12:15,892
Nothing.
I hate everything I have.
347
00:12:15,925 --> 00:12:17,025
I really hate it.
348
00:12:17,059 --> 00:12:19,625
[SOBBING CONTINUES]
349
00:12:26,792 --> 00:12:29,125
I mean at this point, it's...
350
00:12:29,159 --> 00:12:32,092
It's like I can wear something
three or four times, that's it.
351
00:12:32,125 --> 00:12:34,625
It's getting to be
a terrible problem for me.
352
00:12:34,659 --> 00:12:35,759
Mm-hmm.
353
00:12:37,992 --> 00:12:39,159
Hey, Alec.
354
00:12:43,559 --> 00:12:45,359
Did you see that?
355
00:12:45,392 --> 00:12:46,625
What kind of a hello
was that?
356
00:12:49,492 --> 00:12:51,359
MAN: Oh, Mr. Kramer.
KRAMER: Yes.
357
00:12:51,392 --> 00:12:52,359
Thanks for coming.
358
00:12:52,392 --> 00:12:53,959
So, uh...
359
00:12:53,992 --> 00:12:55,759
what did you wanna
see me about?
360
00:12:55,792 --> 00:12:59,259
Well, Mr. Kramer,
to get right to it...
361
00:12:59,292 --> 00:13:02,592
we're having a bit
of a problem with Barry.
362
00:13:04,259 --> 00:13:05,292
Barry?
363
00:13:05,325 --> 00:13:06,328
The chimpanzee.
364
00:13:06,328 --> 00:13:06,625
The chimpanzee.
365
00:13:07,759 --> 00:13:08,725
Oh. Well, uh...
366
00:13:08,759 --> 00:13:10,059
what's the problem?
367
00:13:10,092 --> 00:13:13,625
Well, he's not functioning
the way he normally does.
368
00:13:13,659 --> 00:13:15,059
He seems depressed.
369
00:13:15,092 --> 00:13:17,092
He's lost his appetite.
370
00:13:17,125 --> 00:13:21,259
He's even curtailed
his auto-erotic activities.
371
00:13:23,325 --> 00:13:25,525
And we think this is
directly related
372
00:13:25,559 --> 00:13:27,759
to the altercation he had
with you, the other day.
373
00:13:27,792 --> 00:13:29,625
So? So, what do you
want me to do?
374
00:13:29,659 --> 00:13:31,859
Well, frankly...
375
00:13:31,892 --> 00:13:34,259
we'd like you to apologize.
376
00:13:35,392 --> 00:13:36,328
Yeah, well, he started it.
377
00:13:36,328 --> 00:13:38,025
Yeah, well, he started it.
378
00:13:38,059 --> 00:13:40,792
Mr. Kramer,
he's an innocent primate.
379
00:13:40,825 --> 00:13:42,925
So am I!
380
00:13:44,159 --> 00:13:45,292
What about my feelings?
381
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:46,959
Don't my feelings
count for anything?
382
00:13:46,992 --> 00:13:49,259
Oh, only the poor
monkey's important.
383
00:13:49,292 --> 00:13:51,092
Everything has to be done
for the monkey.
384
00:13:53,492 --> 00:13:55,425
Look, I'm sorry. I, uh...
385
00:13:55,459 --> 00:13:58,092
Hey, uh,
that's okay, um...
386
00:13:58,125 --> 00:14:01,092
Well, I've got to go feed
the marmoset.
387
00:14:01,125 --> 00:14:02,925
You know,
George really likes you.
388
00:14:03,992 --> 00:14:05,425
I don't...
389
00:14:05,459 --> 00:14:06,328
Oh, she doesn't hear too well
out of her left ear.
390
00:14:06,328 --> 00:14:08,425
Oh, she doesn't hear too well
out of her left ear.
391
00:14:08,459 --> 00:14:09,892
Oh.
392
00:14:09,925 --> 00:14:12,892
JERRY:
I mean, do you think
it's possible
393
00:14:12,925 --> 00:14:14,592
that he's mad at me
because he didn't get
394
00:14:14,625 --> 00:14:15,759
the day-after thank-you?
395
00:14:15,792 --> 00:14:17,059
Wait a minute,
wait a minute.
396
00:14:17,092 --> 00:14:18,292
You were at
a funeral, right?
397
00:14:18,325 --> 00:14:19,592
Yeah.
398
00:14:19,625 --> 00:14:22,592
Well, people never give
a good hello at a funeral.
399
00:14:22,625 --> 00:14:24,492
I mean, they go like this.
400
00:14:26,892 --> 00:14:28,592
That's the biggest.
401
00:14:28,625 --> 00:14:30,559
Yeah, yeah, that's
kind of what he gave me.
402
00:14:30,592 --> 00:14:33,725
Yeah, they can't go,
"Hey, you look fabulous!"
403
00:14:33,759 --> 00:14:34,725
Hey.
404
00:14:34,759 --> 00:14:35,925
Hey.
405
00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:36,328
Well, I just spoke
to your girlfriend.
406
00:14:36,328 --> 00:14:38,259
Well, I just spoke
to your girlfriend.
407
00:14:38,292 --> 00:14:40,592
Girlfriend, yeah, right.
408
00:14:40,625 --> 00:14:42,925
Anyway, she asked me
to apologize to Barry.
409
00:14:42,959 --> 00:14:43,925
Barry?
410
00:14:43,959 --> 00:14:45,592
The monkey.
411
00:14:45,625 --> 00:14:46,925
Well?
412
00:14:46,959 --> 00:14:48,259
Nothin' doin'.
413
00:14:48,292 --> 00:14:49,759
Jerry, I didn't
do anything.
414
00:14:49,792 --> 00:14:52,125
It's the monkey that should
be apologizing to me.
415
00:14:52,159 --> 00:14:54,925
Yeah, well, I don't think
that's gonna happen.
416
00:14:54,959 --> 00:14:56,059
Well, I'm sorry.
417
00:14:57,425 --> 00:14:59,559
Well, George, I tried to put
the good word in for you
418
00:14:59,592 --> 00:15:01,425
with Sienna,
but I don't think she heard me.
419
00:15:01,459 --> 00:15:02,459
Ya know...left ear?
420
00:15:03,392 --> 00:15:04,759
What?
421
00:15:04,792 --> 00:15:06,259
Yeah, her boss told me
422
00:15:06,292 --> 00:15:06,328
that she can't hear very well
out of her left ear.
423
00:15:06,328 --> 00:15:08,759
that she can't hear very well
out of her left ear.
424
00:15:08,792 --> 00:15:10,059
What, you didn't know that?
425
00:15:11,225 --> 00:15:12,192
Oh, my God.
426
00:15:12,225 --> 00:15:13,125
What?
427
00:15:13,992 --> 00:15:16,259
She probably never heard it.
428
00:15:16,292 --> 00:15:17,959
Don't you see what this means?
429
00:15:17,992 --> 00:15:20,692
It-it-it's like the whole thing
never happened.
430
00:15:20,725 --> 00:15:23,692
It's like when Superman reversed
the rotation of the Earth
431
00:15:23,725 --> 00:15:25,959
to save Lois Lane!
432
00:15:26,992 --> 00:15:29,125
Well, are you
gonna say it again?
433
00:15:31,125 --> 00:15:33,225
That's the question, Jimmy.
434
00:15:43,525 --> 00:15:44,525
I'm gonna do it.
435
00:15:44,558 --> 00:15:45,858
What?
436
00:15:45,892 --> 00:15:47,358
After what you
just went through.
437
00:15:47,392 --> 00:15:49,225
I thought you said
you'd never say it again.
438
00:15:49,258 --> 00:15:51,292
I'd like to say it
once to someone
439
00:15:51,325 --> 00:15:52,925
that can actually
hear it!
440
00:15:54,258 --> 00:15:55,858
GEORGE:
Yeah!
441
00:15:55,892 --> 00:15:57,192
What? What's goin' on?
442
00:15:57,225 --> 00:15:59,025
Oh, he's gonna talk
into her other ear.
443
00:15:59,058 --> 00:16:00,458
Oh.
444
00:16:00,492 --> 00:16:02,958
All right, well, listen,
I almost forgot to ask you.
445
00:16:02,992 --> 00:16:04,225
What happened at the funeral?
446
00:16:04,258 --> 00:16:05,492
Now, did you talk to Alec Berg?
447
00:16:06,492 --> 00:16:06,936
Yeah, yeah, I saw him.
448
00:16:06,936 --> 00:16:07,858
Yeah, yeah, I saw him.
449
00:16:07,892 --> 00:16:10,358
So he's gonna give you
the hockey tickets, huh?
450
00:16:10,392 --> 00:16:11,992
Uh, not exactly.
451
00:16:12,025 --> 00:16:13,358
He's mad, isn't he?
452
00:16:13,392 --> 00:16:14,525
See, I knew it. Huh?
453
00:16:14,558 --> 00:16:16,692
I don't know if he's mad.
454
00:16:16,725 --> 00:16:18,492
All right, what happened
when you saw him?
455
00:16:18,525 --> 00:16:20,658
Well, I didn't really
get a good hello.
456
00:16:20,692 --> 00:16:22,192
But, see, I was at a funeral.
Ah-ha.
457
00:16:22,225 --> 00:16:24,058
See, so I don't know
if I got a funeral hello,
458
00:16:24,092 --> 00:16:26,792
or he was mad 'cause he didn't
get his day-after thank-you.
459
00:16:26,825 --> 00:16:29,025
See, I told ya, Jerry,
I told ya!
460
00:16:29,058 --> 00:16:30,025
What do ya want me to do?
461
00:16:30,058 --> 00:16:31,858
I want you to get on this phone
462
00:16:31,892 --> 00:16:34,958
and give him his thank-you.
463
00:16:34,992 --> 00:16:36,025
No.
464
00:16:36,058 --> 00:16:36,936
No, I can't.
465
00:16:36,936 --> 00:16:37,192
No, I can't.
466
00:16:37,225 --> 00:16:40,192
Jerry, this is the way
society functions.
467
00:16:40,225 --> 00:16:41,692
Aren't you a part
of society?
468
00:16:41,725 --> 00:16:43,858
Because if you don't wanna
be a part of society,
469
00:16:43,892 --> 00:16:45,525
why don't you just
get in your car
470
00:16:45,558 --> 00:16:48,325
and move to the East Side!
471
00:16:51,325 --> 00:16:54,225
Look, we got five hours
before the game.
472
00:16:54,258 --> 00:16:56,292
I am betting
it was a funeral hello.
473
00:16:56,325 --> 00:16:58,025
He knows we're here,
he knows the number,
474
00:16:58,058 --> 00:16:59,492
he knows we want to go.
475
00:16:59,525 --> 00:17:02,025
There's plenty of time for him
to call and give us the tickets.
476
00:17:02,058 --> 00:17:05,225
You stubborn, stupid, silly man!
477
00:17:07,658 --> 00:17:09,458
PUDDY:
Hey, great dip, you make this?
478
00:17:09,492 --> 00:17:10,825
No, it's from
the store.
479
00:17:10,858 --> 00:17:12,025
Oh.
480
00:17:12,058 --> 00:17:13,825
How come people don't have
dip for dinner?
481
00:17:13,858 --> 00:17:15,992
Why's it only a snack? Why can't
it be a meal, ya know?
482
00:17:17,658 --> 00:17:19,458
I don't understand
stuff like that.
483
00:17:19,492 --> 00:17:22,658
[CROWD CHEERING OVER TV]
484
00:17:26,392 --> 00:17:28,658
David...
485
00:17:28,692 --> 00:17:30,858
David, I think
we oughta talk.
486
00:17:30,892 --> 00:17:32,092
All right, that's cool.
487
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:42,192
David, I don't think we should
see each other anymore.
488
00:17:42,225 --> 00:17:44,358
You gotta be kiddin'.
How come?
489
00:17:46,358 --> 00:17:49,225
Well, you see, David...
490
00:17:49,258 --> 00:17:51,225
you're a face-painter.
491
00:17:51,258 --> 00:17:53,158
Yeah, that's right.
492
00:17:54,992 --> 00:17:56,825
Well...it's...
493
00:17:56,858 --> 00:17:58,658
It's not that
I don't like you,
494
00:17:58,692 --> 00:18:01,625
but, um...
well, to be perfectly honest,
495
00:18:01,658 --> 00:18:05,692
I'm just havin' some trouble
getting past the face-painting.
496
00:18:05,725 --> 00:18:06,936
Well, all right, so you don't
like the face-painting.
497
00:18:06,936 --> 00:18:08,358
Well, all right, so you don't
like the face-painting.
498
00:18:08,392 --> 00:18:09,758
I just won't paint
it anymore.
499
00:18:10,392 --> 00:18:11,725
Yeah, b--
500
00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:13,525
But you like
the face-painting.
501
00:18:13,558 --> 00:18:15,192
Well, I don't need
to do it,
502
00:18:15,225 --> 00:18:17,225
it's not like
a habit or anything.
503
00:18:17,258 --> 00:18:18,558
Oh.
504
00:18:18,592 --> 00:18:20,492
You mean you'd...
You'd stop it for me.
505
00:18:20,525 --> 00:18:21,425
Yeah, that's right.
506
00:18:25,358 --> 00:18:26,692
Oh.
507
00:18:26,725 --> 00:18:28,558
That's so...
508
00:18:28,592 --> 00:18:29,825
That's so sweet!
509
00:18:29,858 --> 00:18:31,525
Yeah. Come here.
510
00:18:34,092 --> 00:18:36,558
All right, I gotta go home
and get changed before the game.
511
00:18:36,592 --> 00:18:36,936
I'll be back, we'll make out.
512
00:18:36,936 --> 00:18:38,258
I'll be back, we'll make out.
513
00:18:51,758 --> 00:18:53,158
Sienna...
514
00:18:53,192 --> 00:18:55,025
I love you.
515
00:18:55,058 --> 00:18:57,225
Yeah, I know.
516
00:18:57,258 --> 00:18:58,392
I heard you the first time.
517
00:18:59,225 --> 00:19:00,858
Yeah.
518
00:19:00,892 --> 00:19:02,392
Just confirming.
519
00:19:07,725 --> 00:19:08,692
[PHONE RINGS]
520
00:19:08,725 --> 00:19:09,725
Hello?
521
00:19:09,758 --> 00:19:10,792
Oh, hi, Mom.
522
00:19:10,825 --> 00:19:12,658
No, I was expecting
somebody else.
523
00:19:12,692 --> 00:19:14,192
Listen, I'm sorry.
I can't talk now.
524
00:19:14,225 --> 00:19:16,392
I gotta keep the line clear,
I'll call you later.
525
00:19:16,425 --> 00:19:17,858
Yes, I know,
I have call-waiting,
526
00:19:17,892 --> 00:19:19,858
but I don't trust it
in an emergency. Goodbye.
527
00:19:22,392 --> 00:19:24,525
KRAMER:
Anyway, I, uh...
528
00:19:24,558 --> 00:19:26,292
I just wanna say
that I'm sorry.
529
00:19:26,325 --> 00:19:27,658
I, uh...
530
00:19:27,692 --> 00:19:30,392
I lost my temper,
and I probably shouldn't have.
531
00:19:30,425 --> 00:19:33,225
I took it out on you, and...
532
00:19:33,258 --> 00:19:35,525
Look, if I've caused you
any problems
533
00:19:35,558 --> 00:19:36,936
as a result of my behavior,
534
00:19:36,936 --> 00:19:37,392
as a result of my behavior,
535
00:19:37,425 --> 00:19:39,058
well, then, I'm sorry.
536
00:19:39,092 --> 00:19:41,525
I apologize.
537
00:19:41,558 --> 00:19:43,858
Even though you know, Barry,
between me and you,
538
00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:46,158
we both know
that you started it.
539
00:19:46,192 --> 00:19:47,658
I mean who's kidding who?
540
00:19:47,692 --> 00:19:50,225
But they tell me
that you're very upset,
541
00:19:50,258 --> 00:19:54,525
and God forbid I should disturb
the very important monkey.
542
00:19:54,558 --> 00:19:56,325
I'm just hoping
we can put this behind us.
543
00:19:56,358 --> 00:19:58,158
Let's just move on
with our lives, okay?
544
00:19:58,192 --> 00:19:59,492
So no hard feelings?
545
00:20:16,725 --> 00:20:18,225
What is that?
546
00:20:18,258 --> 00:20:19,725
That's the letter D.
547
00:20:21,858 --> 00:20:25,058
Why is the letter D
painted on your chest?
548
00:20:25,092 --> 00:20:27,392
At the game tonight,
me and these five other guys
549
00:20:27,425 --> 00:20:30,558
are going to take our shirts off
and spell out "Devils."
550
00:20:30,592 --> 00:20:32,392
But you said no more painting.
551
00:20:32,425 --> 00:20:34,158
No, I said no more
face painting.
552
00:20:34,192 --> 00:20:36,936
And, as you can see,
this is not my face.
553
00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:37,225
And, as you can see,
this is not my face.
554
00:20:37,258 --> 00:20:39,058
Yeah, that's right.
555
00:20:42,858 --> 00:20:44,725
Well, did he call?
556
00:20:46,558 --> 00:20:47,558
No.
557
00:20:47,592 --> 00:20:48,692
Oh, come on, Jerry.
558
00:20:48,725 --> 00:20:50,125
Come on!
This is stupid.
559
00:20:50,158 --> 00:20:51,525
It's 6:00!
It's all over.
560
00:20:51,558 --> 00:20:54,225
Just pick up the phone
and thank him!
561
00:20:54,258 --> 00:20:56,358
All right!
562
00:21:02,058 --> 00:21:05,192
Hello, Alec?
Hi, it's Jerry Seinfeld.
563
00:21:05,225 --> 00:21:06,936
You know, you've got
a great John Houseman name.
564
00:21:06,936 --> 00:21:07,292
You know, you've got
a great John Houseman name.
565
00:21:07,325 --> 00:21:09,025
[SNOOTILY]
Alec Berg.
566
00:21:09,058 --> 00:21:12,392
Did you hand in your assignment,
Mr. Berg?
567
00:21:12,425 --> 00:21:14,125
Uh, what can I do
for you, Jerry?
568
00:21:14,158 --> 00:21:17,992
Well, Alec, the reason I called
is I-I just wanted to, um....
569
00:21:18,025 --> 00:21:19,992
thank you for the tickets
from the other night.
570
00:21:20,025 --> 00:21:21,492
I wish you'd called me earlier.
571
00:21:21,525 --> 00:21:23,458
I could've given you
my tickets for tonight.
572
00:21:23,492 --> 00:21:24,858
You already gave
them away?
573
00:21:24,892 --> 00:21:27,492
Yeah. But you know what,I have got a friend, uh,
574
00:21:27,525 --> 00:21:29,192
he's got a couple of seats,if, uh...
575
00:21:29,225 --> 00:21:31,158
you don't mind nose-bleed,
they're yours.
576
00:21:31,192 --> 00:21:32,225
No, we just wanna go.
577
00:21:32,258 --> 00:21:33,892
There is one
little catch, though.
578
00:21:36,525 --> 00:21:36,936
[CROWD CHEERING]
579
00:21:36,936 --> 00:21:38,392
[CROWD CHEERING]
580
00:21:40,358 --> 00:21:41,658
Hey, great game, huh?
581
00:21:41,692 --> 00:21:43,225
Let's go, Devils!
582
00:21:47,058 --> 00:21:49,225
Let's go! Stand up!
583
00:21:49,258 --> 00:21:50,792
Come on! Do it!
Do it!
584
00:21:50,825 --> 00:21:51,992
Come on! D! D!
585
00:21:52,025 --> 00:21:53,058
E.
586
00:21:53,092 --> 00:21:54,058
V.
587
00:21:54,092 --> 00:21:55,125
I!
588
00:21:55,158 --> 00:21:56,058
L!
589
00:22:05,725 --> 00:22:07,725
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
590
00:22:15,825 --> 00:22:17,225
[SPEAKS SPANISH]
591
00:22:20,492 --> 00:22:21,725
Ajá, bueno.
592
00:22:32,025 --> 00:22:33,225
Hello, Father.
593
00:22:36,225 --> 00:22:38,358
!¡Ah!
594
00:22:38,392 --> 00:22:39,392
!¡La Madona!
595
00:22:41,058 --> 00:22:43,292
La Madre del Cristo.
596
00:22:43,325 --> 00:22:45,225
Yo estoy listo.
41074
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