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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,966
And, you know, these
pest control companies.
2
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:05,533
They call themselves
exterminators,
3
00:00:05,566 --> 00:00:06,700
but they can't really do it.
4
00:00:06,733 --> 00:00:08,200
The best they can do
is get the bugs
5
00:00:08,233 --> 00:00:10,733
to go to somebody else's house.
6
00:00:10,766 --> 00:00:12,066
They just relocate them.
7
00:00:12,100 --> 00:00:13,300
You know what I mean?
8
00:00:13,333 --> 00:00:15,900
They're bug realtors
is what they are.
9
00:00:15,933 --> 00:00:17,366
Uh, I think you'll
be happy here.
10
00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:19,966
There's a lot of crumbs,
not much light.
11
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,633
They usually sleep
through the night.
12
00:00:21,666 --> 00:00:23,866
You'll really have your run
the place most of the time.
13
00:00:23,900 --> 00:00:26,033
Nobody really cares
about killing insects.
14
00:00:26,066 --> 00:00:27,833
Even the animal rights
people don't care.
15
00:00:27,866 --> 00:00:30,000
You could probably walk into
an animal rights organization
16
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:30,400
You could probably walk into
an animal rights organization
17
00:00:30,433 --> 00:00:32,633
meeting and hear a speech
like "The only way to stop
18
00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:35,500
"the cruelty of the scientific
testing on animals--
19
00:00:35,533 --> 00:00:37,400
"ahh, got him--
20
00:00:37,433 --> 00:00:40,033
is to boycott these companies."
21
00:00:47,255 --> 00:00:48,389
Anyway, it's funny.
22
00:00:48,422 --> 00:00:50,955
Paula and I actually met
because of Elaine.
23
00:00:50,989 --> 00:00:53,022
Elaine is in my drawing class
at the New School.
24
00:00:53,055 --> 00:00:54,555
I went down there
one day to see--
25
00:00:54,589 --> 00:00:56,022
The nude model.
26
00:00:56,055 --> 00:00:58,855
If Elaine wanted
to go get some coffee.
27
00:00:58,889 --> 00:01:01,355
You know, I once went out
with a nude model.
28
00:01:01,389 --> 00:01:03,855
Never let me see her naked.
29
00:01:03,889 --> 00:01:07,289
Hundreds of people see her naked
every week, except me.
30
00:01:07,322 --> 00:01:09,355
Needless to say,
it was quite vexing.
31
00:01:09,389 --> 00:01:11,389
[LAUGHING]
32
00:01:12,255 --> 00:01:13,222
Are you through?
33
00:01:13,255 --> 00:01:14,255
Yeah.
34
00:01:15,822 --> 00:01:17,589
So anyway, I started
to compliment Elaine
35
00:01:17,622 --> 00:01:20,522
on her sketches, and it
turns out they're Paula's.
36
00:01:20,555 --> 00:01:23,189
George, I just
like to doodle.
37
00:01:23,222 --> 00:01:25,522
Oh, dropped
my napkin.
38
00:01:25,555 --> 00:01:26,522
Jerry.
39
00:01:26,555 --> 00:01:27,889
What?
What are you doing?
40
00:01:27,922 --> 00:01:28,889
What?
41
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:30,589
She had those nuts
in her mouth.
42
00:01:30,622 --> 00:01:31,822
She just spit them out.
43
00:01:33,722 --> 00:01:34,689
[SPITS]
44
00:01:34,722 --> 00:01:35,722
Ugh!
45
00:01:36,722 --> 00:01:37,955
Ugh!
46
00:01:37,989 --> 00:01:39,555
You ate these?
47
00:01:39,589 --> 00:01:41,522
Y-you sucked
on these
48
00:01:41,555 --> 00:01:42,167
and then put them
on the plate?
49
00:01:42,167 --> 00:01:42,922
and then put them
on the plate?
50
00:01:42,955 --> 00:01:44,722
I didn't know you were
gonna eat them.
51
00:01:44,755 --> 00:01:45,755
Still.
52
00:01:46,822 --> 00:01:49,622
I'm sorry you
find me so repulsive.
53
00:01:49,655 --> 00:01:50,889
No. No, I don't.
54
00:01:50,922 --> 00:01:52,855
I mean,
don't be silly.
55
00:01:52,889 --> 00:01:54,089
Yeah.
It's just...
56
00:01:54,122 --> 00:01:55,722
Well. Ahem.
57
00:01:55,755 --> 00:01:58,555
If you'll excuse me,
I think I'll just go
to the ladies' room.
58
00:01:58,589 --> 00:02:00,289
I'll join you.
59
00:02:01,422 --> 00:02:03,789
Oh, man, did you see that?
60
00:02:03,822 --> 00:02:06,555
I ate discarded food.
61
00:02:06,589 --> 00:02:08,022
Well, I've done that.
62
00:02:08,055 --> 00:02:10,289
Yeah, but with you,
it's intentional.
63
00:02:10,322 --> 00:02:11,555
Haven't you kissed her?
64
00:02:11,589 --> 00:02:12,167
Yeah, but this
is different.
65
00:02:12,167 --> 00:02:13,222
Yeah, but this
is different.
66
00:02:13,255 --> 00:02:15,889
This is like, you know,
semi-digested foodstuff.
67
00:02:15,922 --> 00:02:17,389
You know, next stop
is the stomach.
68
00:02:17,422 --> 00:02:18,722
And you can
take it from there.
69
00:02:20,155 --> 00:02:21,289
Ah, excuse me
one second.
70
00:02:21,322 --> 00:02:22,789
Yeah, that's it.
71
00:02:23,955 --> 00:02:25,789
Yeah, that's gonna
make a big difference.
72
00:02:25,822 --> 00:02:27,222
Hey, this is dating.
73
00:02:27,255 --> 00:02:28,889
You can't leave
anything to chance.
74
00:02:28,922 --> 00:02:30,089
You think Shelly's upset
75
00:02:30,122 --> 00:02:31,955
that I made such a big deal
about the pecans?
76
00:02:31,989 --> 00:02:33,455
[CLEARS THROAT]
77
00:02:33,489 --> 00:02:34,522
Yeah.
78
00:02:34,555 --> 00:02:35,522
Thanks.
79
00:02:35,555 --> 00:02:37,189
No problem.
80
00:02:37,222 --> 00:02:39,289
Well, Jerry, I guess
we should get going.
81
00:02:40,222 --> 00:02:41,355
Oh, boy.
82
00:02:41,389 --> 00:02:42,167
Well, it was very nice
meeting you, Shelly.
83
00:02:42,167 --> 00:02:44,022
Well, it was very nice
meeting you, Shelly.
84
00:02:44,055 --> 00:02:45,589
And Jerry, be careful.
85
00:02:45,622 --> 00:02:47,455
There's a lot
of nuts out there.
86
00:02:50,755 --> 00:02:52,222
Alrighty. Do you
have everything?
87
00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:53,289
Oh, can you
grab my purse.
88
00:02:53,322 --> 00:02:54,455
Yeah.
89
00:03:05,289 --> 00:03:06,789
Yeah. So?
90
00:03:06,822 --> 00:03:08,055
Don't you see
what this is?
91
00:03:08,089 --> 00:03:09,055
Yeah, it's a doodle.
92
00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:11,389
Yeah. A doodle of me.
93
00:03:11,422 --> 00:03:12,167
Look at the size
of the nose, the ears.
94
00:03:12,167 --> 00:03:13,022
Look at the size
of the nose, the ears.
95
00:03:13,055 --> 00:03:14,889
All my features
are distorted.
96
00:03:14,922 --> 00:03:17,355
Oh, it's an affectionate
caricature.
97
00:03:17,389 --> 00:03:20,389
I'm grotesque.
98
00:03:20,422 --> 00:03:21,889
I look like a troll.
99
00:03:21,922 --> 00:03:23,355
It's just a drawing.
100
00:03:23,389 --> 00:03:25,089
Don't you see
what this says?
101
00:03:25,122 --> 00:03:26,889
How could you
possibly like somebody
102
00:03:26,922 --> 00:03:28,589
if you think
they look like this?
103
00:03:29,889 --> 00:03:30,889
[ANGRILY]:
Hello!
104
00:03:32,889 --> 00:03:34,222
What is with him?
105
00:03:34,255 --> 00:03:35,255
Usual.
Huh.
106
00:03:36,289 --> 00:03:37,689
So you know what?
107
00:03:37,722 --> 00:03:41,422
My friend Judy recommended
me for a job at Viking Press.
108
00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:42,167
Hey, good for you.
109
00:03:42,167 --> 00:03:42,422
Hey, good for you.
110
00:03:42,455 --> 00:03:44,055
Yeah. But get this.
111
00:03:44,089 --> 00:03:46,022
Viking has a deal
with the Plaza Hotel.
112
00:03:46,055 --> 00:03:48,855
They've got a two-bedroom suite
there for out-of-town clients.
113
00:03:48,889 --> 00:03:51,022
So guess what I did?
114
00:03:51,055 --> 00:03:52,455
Oh, come on.
115
00:03:52,489 --> 00:03:54,022
You told them you're
from out of town
116
00:03:54,055 --> 00:03:55,622
just so you could
stay in a hotel room?
117
00:03:55,655 --> 00:03:58,955
I know, I know, Jerry.
But it's the Plaza.
118
00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:00,022
I've never stayed there.
119
00:04:00,055 --> 00:04:01,455
It'll be like
a little vacation.
120
00:04:01,489 --> 00:04:03,289
Well, be sure to catch
a Broadway show
121
00:04:03,322 --> 00:04:05,855
while you're in town.
[LAUGHS]
122
00:04:05,889 --> 00:04:08,389
Oh, listen. I used your
parents' address in Florida.
123
00:04:08,422 --> 00:04:10,589
Oh. They're coming into town
tomorrow, by the way.
124
00:04:10,622 --> 00:04:12,167
Hey. What's this?
125
00:04:12,167 --> 00:04:13,189
Hey. What's this?
126
00:04:13,222 --> 00:04:14,522
Don't ask.
127
00:04:14,555 --> 00:04:16,722
What is it?
A drawing of Mr. Magoo?
128
00:04:19,255 --> 00:04:21,189
No, it's George.
129
00:04:21,222 --> 00:04:24,222
[LAUGHING]
130
00:04:26,389 --> 00:04:27,355
It is!
131
00:04:27,389 --> 00:04:29,155
[LAUGHING]
132
00:04:30,155 --> 00:04:32,789
Are you enjoying
yourself?
133
00:04:32,822 --> 00:04:33,789
I'm sorry.
134
00:04:33,822 --> 00:04:35,222
You see?
You see?
135
00:04:35,255 --> 00:04:37,855
Listen...when is your
next drawing class?
136
00:04:37,889 --> 00:04:38,922
Tomorrow.
137
00:04:38,955 --> 00:04:40,455
All right. I want you
to do me a favor.
138
00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:41,455
What?
139
00:04:41,489 --> 00:04:42,167
I want you to find out
if she likes me.
140
00:04:42,167 --> 00:04:43,889
I want you to find out
if she likes me.
141
00:04:43,922 --> 00:04:45,055
Find out if
she likes you?
142
00:04:45,089 --> 00:04:46,389
What are you,
in high school?
143
00:04:46,422 --> 00:04:48,089
George, come on.
144
00:04:48,122 --> 00:04:50,055
Can't you just, like,
talk to her yourself?
145
00:04:50,089 --> 00:04:51,755
But then she's gonna
know that I like her
146
00:04:51,789 --> 00:04:53,455
more than she likes me.
147
00:04:53,489 --> 00:04:55,955
You know, my parents are coming
in, and I've gotta clean up.
148
00:04:55,989 --> 00:04:58,089
So if you and Potsie
are done scheming...
149
00:05:04,989 --> 00:05:06,922
Well, they're in.
150
00:05:06,955 --> 00:05:07,922
What's in?
151
00:05:07,955 --> 00:05:10,089
The Mackinaw peaches,
Jerry.
152
00:05:10,122 --> 00:05:12,167
The Mackinaw peaches!
JERRY:
Ah.
153
00:05:12,167 --> 00:05:13,922
The Mackinaw peaches!
JERRY:
Ah.
154
00:05:13,955 --> 00:05:15,855
Right. The one's
from Oregon
155
00:05:15,889 --> 00:05:18,789
that are only ripe
for two weeks a year.
156
00:05:18,822 --> 00:05:20,522
Yeah. Yeah, I split
a case with Newman.
157
00:05:20,555 --> 00:05:21,922
I wait all year for this.
158
00:05:21,955 --> 00:05:25,255
Oh. This is
fantastic. Mm.
159
00:05:25,289 --> 00:05:27,222
Makes your
taste buds come alive.
160
00:05:27,255 --> 00:05:28,955
It's like having
a circus in your mouth.
161
00:05:29,789 --> 00:05:30,755
Take a taste.
162
00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:31,755
I don't want to.
163
00:05:31,789 --> 00:05:32,755
Just take a taste.
164
00:05:32,789 --> 00:05:34,089
I don't want to.
Come on, jus--
165
00:05:34,122 --> 00:05:37,122
I don't want it!
You don't want it!
166
00:05:37,155 --> 00:05:39,122
I am not gonna
taste your peach.
167
00:05:39,155 --> 00:05:40,589
I ate someone's
pecan last night.
168
00:05:40,622 --> 00:05:41,889
I'm not gonna
eat your peach.
169
00:05:41,922 --> 00:05:42,167
Jerry, this is
a miracle of nature
170
00:05:42,167 --> 00:05:43,889
Jerry, this is
a miracle of nature
171
00:05:43,922 --> 00:05:46,022
that exists
for a brief period.
172
00:05:46,055 --> 00:05:48,589
It's like
the aurora borealis.
173
00:05:49,622 --> 00:05:52,789
Mmm. Mmm.
Yeah.
174
00:05:52,822 --> 00:05:53,789
Holy cow, what is this?
175
00:05:53,822 --> 00:05:54,789
What?
176
00:05:54,822 --> 00:05:56,722
I think I got
flea bites.
177
00:05:56,755 --> 00:05:57,755
Flea bites?
178
00:05:57,789 --> 00:05:58,755
Yeah. Look at this.
179
00:05:58,789 --> 00:06:00,589
My ankle's all bitten up.
180
00:06:01,555 --> 00:06:02,722
You got a dog?
181
00:06:04,822 --> 00:06:05,822
No.
182
00:06:07,222 --> 00:06:09,055
Well, that is
strange.
183
00:06:09,089 --> 00:06:10,922
How can I have fleas?
184
00:06:10,955 --> 00:06:12,167
Don't sweat it, buddy.
185
00:06:12,167 --> 00:06:12,255
Don't sweat it, buddy.
186
00:06:12,289 --> 00:06:13,889
I used to have fleas.
187
00:06:13,922 --> 00:06:15,089
What did you do
about them?
188
00:06:15,122 --> 00:06:16,322
What do you mean?
189
00:06:17,289 --> 00:06:18,789
Hey, Jerry!
Hey!
190
00:06:18,822 --> 00:06:20,722
How you doing?
Kramer.
191
00:06:20,755 --> 00:06:22,722
Hi, Jerry.
192
00:06:22,755 --> 00:06:23,722
What's wrong?
193
00:06:23,755 --> 00:06:24,889
Nothing.
194
00:06:24,922 --> 00:06:27,189
Jerry, I'm your mother.
Now, what is it?
195
00:06:27,222 --> 00:06:30,389
Mom, Dad...I have fleas.
196
00:06:32,455 --> 00:06:33,689
ELAINE:
Hey, Paula.
197
00:06:33,722 --> 00:06:35,889
I hear you've been
going out with
George Costanza.
198
00:06:35,922 --> 00:06:37,355
How did you know?
199
00:06:37,389 --> 00:06:39,522
Everybody knows.
200
00:06:39,555 --> 00:06:41,022
You know, George
told me he thinks
201
00:06:41,055 --> 00:06:42,167
you're totally cute
and everything.
202
00:06:42,167 --> 00:06:42,689
you're totally cute
and everything.
203
00:06:42,722 --> 00:06:45,255
He said that?
Yep.
204
00:06:45,289 --> 00:06:46,455
Do you like George?
205
00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:48,455
Yeah. He's cool.
206
00:06:50,222 --> 00:06:55,755
No, I mean...do you like him
or do you "like him" like him?
207
00:06:55,789 --> 00:06:57,222
"Like" like.
208
00:06:57,255 --> 00:06:59,389
Looks aren't that
important to me, you know?
209
00:06:59,422 --> 00:07:02,055
Ms. Benes...
are you chewing gum?
210
00:07:07,289 --> 00:07:08,722
I'm sorry.
211
00:07:16,289 --> 00:07:18,955
Yep. They're in your
bedroom too, Mr. Seinfeld.
212
00:07:18,989 --> 00:07:22,122
You got a full-blown
outbreak of fleas
on your hands.
213
00:07:22,155 --> 00:07:23,622
I don't get it.
How did this happen?
214
00:07:23,655 --> 00:07:25,189
I don't have a dog.
215
00:07:25,222 --> 00:07:27,455
I don't explain them,
Mr. Seinfeld.
216
00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:30,022
I just exterminate them.
217
00:07:30,055 --> 00:07:31,889
I don't
understand this.
218
00:07:31,922 --> 00:07:33,455
I'm gonna have to
seal the place up
219
00:07:33,489 --> 00:07:34,589
for 48 hours and fog it.
220
00:07:34,622 --> 00:07:36,222
That's the only way
to get rid of them.
221
00:07:36,255 --> 00:07:38,055
Nobody can be in here
for 48 hours?
222
00:07:38,089 --> 00:07:39,455
I got my parents
in town.
223
00:07:39,489 --> 00:07:42,167
Well, unless you
wanna kill them...
224
00:07:42,167 --> 00:07:42,955
Well, unless you
wanna kill them...
225
00:07:42,989 --> 00:07:45,222
they can't stay in here.
226
00:07:45,255 --> 00:07:47,455
This stuff is pretty toxic.
227
00:07:47,489 --> 00:07:49,122
I'll go get my stuff.
It's in the truck.
228
00:07:49,155 --> 00:07:50,155
Okay.
229
00:07:52,955 --> 00:07:53,955
How you doing?
Hi.
230
00:07:54,922 --> 00:07:55,922
Bug guy.
231
00:07:56,955 --> 00:07:58,522
Why do you have
a bug guy?
232
00:07:58,555 --> 00:07:59,622
I have fleas.
233
00:07:59,655 --> 00:08:02,255
Ugh! Fleas?
234
00:08:02,289 --> 00:08:03,255
How did you get fleas?
235
00:08:03,289 --> 00:08:04,422
I don't know.
236
00:08:04,455 --> 00:08:05,789
But everyone's
gotta clear out
237
00:08:05,822 --> 00:08:07,189
of the apartment
for two days.
238
00:08:07,222 --> 00:08:09,189
I don't know what
I'm gonna do
with my parents.
239
00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:10,755
They'll never let me
pay for a hotel.
240
00:08:10,789 --> 00:08:12,167
And if they go someplace
on their own,
241
00:08:12,167 --> 00:08:12,389
And if they go someplace
on their own,
242
00:08:12,422 --> 00:08:13,889
I'm sure it'll be
some awful dump.
243
00:08:13,922 --> 00:08:16,055
Wait a second. Have you
checked into the Plaza yet?
244
00:08:16,089 --> 00:08:17,722
No.
245
00:08:17,755 --> 00:08:18,722
Oh, no.
246
00:08:18,755 --> 00:08:19,789
Come on,
come on, come on.
247
00:08:19,822 --> 00:08:22,589
No, no, no, no, no!
Come on! Come on!
248
00:08:22,622 --> 00:08:23,889
All right!
249
00:08:23,922 --> 00:08:25,255
Good.
250
00:08:25,289 --> 00:08:27,355
[BUZZ]
251
00:08:27,389 --> 00:08:28,422
Yeah?
252
00:08:28,455 --> 00:08:29,755
GEORGE:
Yeah.
Good.
253
00:08:29,789 --> 00:08:30,755
Well, what about you?
254
00:08:30,789 --> 00:08:32,189
Where are you gonna stay?
255
00:08:32,222 --> 00:08:33,755
I don't know.
I'm gonna ask Shelly.
256
00:08:33,789 --> 00:08:37,689
But she still might be
upset about the masticated
pecan incident.
257
00:08:37,722 --> 00:08:40,622
Hey, I found out from
Paula. She likes George.
258
00:08:40,655 --> 00:08:42,055
I bet he'll
be relieved.
259
00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:42,167
Yeah. When he's dead,
he'll be relieved.
260
00:08:42,167 --> 00:08:43,922
Yeah. When he's dead,
he'll be relieved.
261
00:08:45,389 --> 00:08:46,522
Oh, by the way, Viking Press
262
00:08:46,555 --> 00:08:48,022
sent a Fed Ex for you
to my parents.
263
00:08:48,055 --> 00:08:49,355
They brought it with them.
264
00:08:49,389 --> 00:08:51,422
Yeah, that's just
some stuff about the company.
265
00:08:53,922 --> 00:08:55,289
Hey. Hey, did you
talk to Paula?
266
00:08:55,322 --> 00:08:56,689
Yeah.
267
00:08:56,722 --> 00:08:57,722
So, what did she say?
268
00:08:57,755 --> 00:09:00,722
She likes you.
269
00:09:00,755 --> 00:09:02,022
She said she liked me.
270
00:09:02,055 --> 00:09:03,389
You're kidding?
She said that?
271
00:09:03,422 --> 00:09:04,389
Yeah.
272
00:09:04,422 --> 00:09:05,555
Those were her exact words?
273
00:09:05,589 --> 00:09:06,855
"I like George."
274
00:09:06,889 --> 00:09:07,855
Yep.
275
00:09:07,889 --> 00:09:08,855
Ha-ha!
276
00:09:08,889 --> 00:09:09,855
How do you like that?
277
00:09:09,889 --> 00:09:11,055
Jerry, How do you
like that?
278
00:09:11,089 --> 00:09:12,167
You see. I get myself
into a tizzy.
279
00:09:12,167 --> 00:09:12,955
You see. I get myself
into a tizzy.
280
00:09:12,989 --> 00:09:15,089
I'm all worked up.
And for what?
281
00:09:15,122 --> 00:09:16,355
For nothing.
282
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,555
She said looks weren't even
that important to her.
283
00:09:18,589 --> 00:09:20,055
You see--
What?
284
00:09:24,122 --> 00:09:25,989
Uh-oh.
285
00:09:27,255 --> 00:09:28,689
She said--
286
00:09:28,722 --> 00:09:31,922
She said looks aren't
that important to her?
287
00:09:31,955 --> 00:09:34,422
Let me rephrase that.
288
00:09:34,455 --> 00:09:36,355
She thinks I'm ugly.
289
00:09:36,389 --> 00:09:37,389
I knew it.
290
00:09:39,322 --> 00:09:41,522
Well, see, the thing of it is.
You know, there's a lot
291
00:09:41,555 --> 00:09:42,167
of ugly people out there walking
around, but they don't know
292
00:09:42,167 --> 00:09:44,089
of ugly people out there walking
around, but they don't know
293
00:09:44,122 --> 00:09:46,989
they're ugly, because
nobody actually tells them.
294
00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:50,855
So, what's your point?
295
00:09:50,889 --> 00:09:52,189
I don't know.
Okay.
296
00:09:52,222 --> 00:09:57,022
The point, George,
is she likes you.
297
00:09:57,055 --> 00:09:58,355
Oh, so what.
298
00:09:58,389 --> 00:10:01,122
I'd rather she hate me
and thought I was good-looking.
299
00:10:01,155 --> 00:10:03,122
Then at least I could get
somebody else.
300
00:10:05,122 --> 00:10:06,789
What is this?
Why am I itching?
301
00:10:06,822 --> 00:10:08,322
That would be
the fleas.
302
00:10:12,589 --> 00:10:15,555
Hey.
Hey, how do you
like this? Ha-ha.
303
00:10:17,155 --> 00:10:19,922
Oh, my God.
Morty, let's go.
304
00:10:19,955 --> 00:10:22,289
This is too nice.
305
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:25,122
Hey. This is the kind
of room Sinatra stays in.
306
00:10:25,155 --> 00:10:26,522
Hey.
307
00:10:26,555 --> 00:10:28,955
Look, macadamia nuts.
308
00:10:28,989 --> 00:10:30,555
Macadamia nuts?
309
00:10:30,589 --> 00:10:31,955
Yeah, you know
what these cost?
310
00:10:31,989 --> 00:10:33,222
They're like
80 cents a nut.
311
00:10:34,155 --> 00:10:35,855
Jerry, are you sure
this is all right?
312
00:10:35,889 --> 00:10:37,355
Yeah, it's all
taken care of.
313
00:10:37,389 --> 00:10:40,555
MORTY:
Hey! They got
a phone in the john here!
314
00:10:44,155 --> 00:10:45,122
Judy?
315
00:10:45,155 --> 00:10:46,422
Hey!
316
00:10:46,455 --> 00:10:48,855
Hi. Thank you so much for
recommending me to Viking Press.
317
00:10:48,889 --> 00:10:50,222
It is my pleasure.
318
00:10:50,255 --> 00:10:52,722
Just make sure
you give that manuscript
a good read.
319
00:10:52,755 --> 00:10:54,022
Manuscript?
320
00:10:54,055 --> 00:10:56,455
Yeah, I'm sure they FedExed
you a manuscript.
321
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:57,922
They want to see
that you can read
322
00:10:57,955 --> 00:11:00,422
an unpublished work
and give insightful
criticism.
323
00:11:00,455 --> 00:11:01,689
Oh.
324
00:11:01,722 --> 00:11:03,089
Read it twice
if you have to.
325
00:11:03,122 --> 00:11:06,122
This is a big step
in your career.
326
00:11:06,155 --> 00:11:07,689
Yeah. I gotta go.
327
00:11:07,722 --> 00:11:08,689
Hey, what about
lunch?
328
00:11:08,722 --> 00:11:09,722
I gotta go.
329
00:11:11,955 --> 00:11:12,167
Thank God I found you.
330
00:11:12,167 --> 00:11:13,389
Thank God I found you.
331
00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:14,389
Oh, hey!
332
00:11:14,422 --> 00:11:15,689
Do you still have
that FedEx?
333
00:11:15,722 --> 00:11:17,289
Yeah, I got it.
It's in the apartment.
334
00:11:17,322 --> 00:11:19,289
But we can't go in there.
It's being fumigated.
335
00:11:19,322 --> 00:11:20,389
No, I'll take
my chances.
336
00:11:20,422 --> 00:11:21,422
Come on.
Come on.
337
00:11:23,255 --> 00:11:24,255
JERRY:
You see.
338
00:11:24,289 --> 00:11:26,722
Jerry, I need
that FedEx right now.
339
00:11:26,755 --> 00:11:28,255
I told you
to take it.
340
00:11:28,289 --> 00:11:31,222
I didn't know that it was
a manuscript that I had to read.
341
00:11:31,255 --> 00:11:32,389
Well, you can't
go in there.
342
00:11:32,422 --> 00:11:34,655
It's like a gas
chamber in there.
343
00:11:35,555 --> 00:11:37,555
Hey.
344
00:11:37,589 --> 00:11:39,689
I left a Mackinaw peach
in your refrigerator.
345
00:11:39,722 --> 00:11:42,167
Kramer, they're fumigating.
There's toxic gas in there.
346
00:11:42,167 --> 00:11:42,789
Kramer, they're fumigating.
There's toxic gas in there.
347
00:11:42,822 --> 00:11:45,222
Toxic gas?
348
00:11:45,255 --> 00:11:47,255
Oh, you'll be fine.
You were there a few minutes?
349
00:11:47,289 --> 00:11:49,522
An hour and a half!
350
00:11:49,555 --> 00:11:52,089
I was reading a manuscript.
I just couldn't put it down.
351
00:11:52,122 --> 00:11:53,122
My manuscript?
352
00:11:53,155 --> 00:11:54,255
How do you feel?
353
00:11:54,289 --> 00:11:57,389
Now that you mention it,
a little woozy.
354
00:11:57,422 --> 00:12:00,089
Kramer, you've got to
go back in there
and grab my manuscript.
355
00:12:00,122 --> 00:12:01,255
I'm not going
back in there.
356
00:12:01,289 --> 00:12:02,922
All right.
Well, then, where is it?
357
00:12:02,955 --> 00:12:05,555
Well, I left it
on the coffee table.
358
00:12:05,589 --> 00:12:06,855
What are
you doing?
359
00:12:06,889 --> 00:12:07,889
I'm going in.
360
00:12:08,922 --> 00:12:10,522
Didn't you see
the sign on the door?
361
00:12:10,555 --> 00:12:12,167
Well, I thought it was
so your parents
wouldn't walk in
362
00:12:12,167 --> 00:12:12,855
Well, I thought it was
so your parents
wouldn't walk in
363
00:12:12,889 --> 00:12:14,055
while you were
with a girl.
364
00:12:16,722 --> 00:12:19,122
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
365
00:12:40,255 --> 00:12:41,789
[GASPS FOR AIR]
366
00:12:42,655 --> 00:12:44,422
It's not on
any table, Kramer.
367
00:12:44,455 --> 00:12:45,589
Where is it?
368
00:12:45,622 --> 00:12:46,622
Well, I don't know.
369
00:12:46,655 --> 00:12:48,289
I was in the bathroom,
the kitchen.
370
00:12:48,322 --> 00:12:50,589
Okay.
Bathroom, kitchen.
371
00:12:50,622 --> 00:12:51,622
Could you get me
a soda?
372
00:12:54,089 --> 00:12:55,589
Jerry...I had
some milk.
373
00:12:55,622 --> 00:12:57,189
I made a sandwich.
374
00:12:57,222 --> 00:12:59,389
I gotta get out
of the building.
375
00:13:16,822 --> 00:13:17,955
[GASPS FOR AIR]
376
00:13:17,989 --> 00:13:20,422
I couldn't find
it anywhere.
377
00:13:20,455 --> 00:13:22,189
How did you get fleas, anyway?
378
00:13:22,222 --> 00:13:23,422
I don't know.
379
00:13:23,455 --> 00:13:25,089
Who could have been
in my apartment?
380
00:13:25,122 --> 00:13:26,922
I looked everywhere.
Even under the couch.
381
00:13:26,955 --> 00:13:29,355
But all I could find were
these stupid Chunky wrappers--
382
00:13:29,389 --> 00:13:30,589
Wait a second.
Wait a second.
383
00:13:30,622 --> 00:13:32,022
Did you say
Chunky wrappers?
384
00:13:32,055 --> 00:13:33,322
Yeah.
Let me see those.
385
00:13:36,722 --> 00:13:41,755
Oh, I know the chunky
that left these Chunkys.
386
00:13:41,789 --> 00:13:42,167
Newman!
387
00:13:42,167 --> 00:13:42,789
Newman!
388
00:13:44,289 --> 00:13:45,455
Got him!
389
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:51,747
[BANGING ON DOOR]
390
00:13:51,781 --> 00:13:53,014
JERRY:
Newman!
391
00:13:53,047 --> 00:13:55,014
Open the door, Newman!
I know you're in there!
392
00:13:57,247 --> 00:13:58,281
Hello, Jerry.
393
00:13:59,914 --> 00:14:01,547
What a pleasant
surprise.
394
00:14:01,581 --> 00:14:03,214
There's nothing
pleasant about it.
395
00:14:03,247 --> 00:14:04,314
Let's just
cut the crap.
396
00:14:04,347 --> 00:14:05,247
You gave me fleas.
397
00:14:05,281 --> 00:14:06,981
I know it,
and you know it.
398
00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:07,981
Fleas?
399
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:09,647
[LAUGHING]
400
00:14:09,681 --> 00:14:11,314
That's preposterous.
401
00:14:11,347 --> 00:14:13,981
How could I give you fleas?
402
00:14:14,014 --> 00:14:15,181
Now, if you don't mind--
403
00:14:15,214 --> 00:14:17,414
Oh, but I do.
404
00:14:17,447 --> 00:14:18,161
There's probably fleas
crawling all over your
little snack bar.
405
00:14:18,161 --> 00:14:20,614
There's probably fleas
crawling all over your
little snack bar.
406
00:14:24,881 --> 00:14:27,147
So you have fleas.
407
00:14:27,181 --> 00:14:30,014
Maybe you keep your house
in a state of disrepair.
408
00:14:30,047 --> 00:14:32,381
Maybe you live
in squalor.
409
00:14:32,414 --> 00:14:36,014
You know, Newman...
the thing about fleas
410
00:14:36,047 --> 00:14:38,881
is that they irritate
the skin...
411
00:14:38,914 --> 00:14:41,414
and they start to
itch.
412
00:14:41,447 --> 00:14:43,714
Oh, maybe you can hold out
five seconds or 10.
413
00:14:43,747 --> 00:14:47,147
Maybe 15 or 20.
[STRAINED BREATHING]
414
00:14:47,181 --> 00:14:48,161
But after awhile...
[COUGHS]
415
00:14:48,161 --> 00:14:49,047
But after awhile...
[COUGHS]
416
00:14:49,081 --> 00:14:50,981
...no matter how much
willpower
417
00:14:51,014 --> 00:14:53,147
a person may have,
it won't matter.
418
00:14:53,181 --> 00:14:57,547
Because they're crawling--
Crawling on your skin.
419
00:14:57,581 --> 00:15:00,381
Up your legs,
up your spine,
up your back.
420
00:15:00,414 --> 00:15:01,681
All right!
I've got them!
421
00:15:01,714 --> 00:15:04,047
I'm ripe with fleas!
422
00:15:07,014 --> 00:15:08,514
Ooh. Oh. Oh,
that feels good.
423
00:15:08,547 --> 00:15:11,081
Hey, this guy charges
100 bucks an hour,
424
00:15:11,114 --> 00:15:13,981
but I'm telling you,
he's worth every penny. Oh!
425
00:15:14,014 --> 00:15:15,314
I'm next.
426
00:15:15,347 --> 00:15:16,514
Hey, Leo, get this.
427
00:15:16,547 --> 00:15:18,161
I'm watching
four movies at once.
428
00:15:18,161 --> 00:15:18,981
I'm watching
four movies at once.
429
00:15:19,014 --> 00:15:21,081
Pay-per-view.
430
00:15:21,114 --> 00:15:23,047
I love these nuts.
431
00:15:23,081 --> 00:15:25,747
This champagne's
gone flat.
432
00:15:27,447 --> 00:15:28,747
Nana.
433
00:15:28,781 --> 00:15:29,981
[LAUGHS]
434
00:15:30,014 --> 00:15:32,747
Let the chambermaid
clean it up.
435
00:15:34,781 --> 00:15:36,081
Hello.
436
00:15:36,114 --> 00:15:37,114
What's
the matter?
437
00:15:38,581 --> 00:15:39,581
Well, I spoke to Elaine--
438
00:15:39,614 --> 00:15:41,381
Hey, look.
No shave.
439
00:15:41,414 --> 00:15:43,914
No. Why should that make
any difference to you?
440
00:15:43,947 --> 00:15:44,914
It doesn't.
441
00:15:44,947 --> 00:15:45,981
Of course not.
442
00:15:46,014 --> 00:15:47,414
You don't care
what I look like.
443
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:48,161
That's right.
I don't.
444
00:15:48,161 --> 00:15:49,314
That's right.
I don't.
445
00:15:49,347 --> 00:15:50,981
I suppose I could
just pull this out
446
00:15:51,014 --> 00:15:53,514
and walk around like this,
and you wouldn't care.
447
00:15:53,547 --> 00:15:54,514
Not a whit.
448
00:15:54,547 --> 00:15:56,347
Mm. Mm-hmm.
449
00:15:56,381 --> 00:15:58,047
I suppose we could
go to Lincoln Center,
450
00:15:58,081 --> 00:15:59,547
and I could wear
sneakers and jeans
451
00:15:59,581 --> 00:16:00,681
and that would be fine too.
452
00:16:00,714 --> 00:16:02,414
You could wear
sweatpants.
453
00:16:02,447 --> 00:16:03,647
I could?
454
00:16:03,681 --> 00:16:08,347
You could drape yourself
in velvet for all I care.
455
00:16:10,114 --> 00:16:11,114
Velvet?
456
00:16:14,381 --> 00:16:15,914
ELAINE:
Did you read the whole thing?
457
00:16:15,947 --> 00:16:16,914
Oh, yeah.
458
00:16:16,947 --> 00:16:18,161
Yeah. So, what's it about?
459
00:16:18,161 --> 00:16:18,514
Yeah. So, what's it about?
460
00:16:18,547 --> 00:16:21,047
Well, it's--
It's a story
461
00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:23,881
about love,
deception, greed,
462
00:16:23,914 --> 00:16:27,847
lust and...unbridled
enthusiasm.
463
00:16:27,881 --> 00:16:30,314
Unbridled enthusiasm?
464
00:16:30,347 --> 00:16:32,747
Well, that's what led to
Billy Mumphrey's downfall.
465
00:16:32,781 --> 00:16:34,147
Oh, boy.
466
00:16:34,181 --> 00:16:38,214
You see, Elaine, Billy
was a simple country boy.
467
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:42,247
You might say, a cockeyed
optimist who got himself
468
00:16:42,281 --> 00:16:45,047
mixed up in the high-stakes
game of world diplomacy
469
00:16:45,081 --> 00:16:46,614
and international intrigue.
470
00:16:47,747 --> 00:16:48,161
Oh, my God.
471
00:16:48,161 --> 00:16:48,747
Oh, my God.
472
00:16:48,781 --> 00:16:50,014
Well, here we go.
473
00:16:50,047 --> 00:16:51,714
Could I have a Scotch
on the rocks?
474
00:16:52,914 --> 00:16:53,881
May I?
475
00:16:53,914 --> 00:16:55,414
Yeah, go ahead.
All right.
476
00:16:56,447 --> 00:16:58,014
What is this?
477
00:16:58,047 --> 00:16:59,414
What? What do
you mean?
478
00:16:59,447 --> 00:17:01,247
I can't taste this.
479
00:17:01,281 --> 00:17:02,747
What are you
talking about?
480
00:17:02,781 --> 00:17:04,847
This food.
It has no taste.
481
00:17:04,881 --> 00:17:07,514
Nothing.
I'm getting nothing!
482
00:17:09,947 --> 00:17:12,547
It must be the toxic gas
from the fumigation.
483
00:17:12,581 --> 00:17:14,381
What?
484
00:17:21,047 --> 00:17:23,014
JERRY:
Hey, thanks for
letting me stay here.
485
00:17:23,047 --> 00:17:24,681
Well, I don't keep
pecans in the house,
486
00:17:24,714 --> 00:17:26,514
so I didn't think
there would be a problem.
487
00:17:26,547 --> 00:17:27,514
[CHUCKLES]
488
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:28,547
Oh, damn.
489
00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:29,681
What's the matter?
490
00:17:29,714 --> 00:17:31,147
I forgot my toothbrush.
491
00:17:31,181 --> 00:17:32,347
Oh, no problem.
492
00:17:33,281 --> 00:17:34,581
You can use mine.
493
00:17:35,247 --> 00:17:36,914
Yours?
494
00:17:36,947 --> 00:17:38,647
You know what?
I think I'll brush later.
495
00:17:38,681 --> 00:17:39,681
Brush now.
496
00:17:44,281 --> 00:17:45,281
Sure.
497
00:17:55,614 --> 00:17:57,981
Newman. Newman, let me have
a bite of your Mackinaw.
498
00:17:58,014 --> 00:17:59,247
What for?
You got your own.
499
00:17:59,281 --> 00:18:00,947
Oh, Come on. Come on.
I need to taste it.
500
00:18:04,781 --> 00:18:05,881
Nothing.
501
00:18:05,914 --> 00:18:07,481
I can't evening taste
the Mackinaw.
502
00:18:07,514 --> 00:18:08,547
Well, that's a shame.
503
00:18:08,581 --> 00:18:11,147
Wait all year and
I can't even taste it.
504
00:18:11,181 --> 00:18:12,314
You can't taste them?
505
00:18:12,347 --> 00:18:13,347
Why waste them?
506
00:18:13,381 --> 00:18:14,681
Why not give them all to me?
507
00:18:16,847 --> 00:18:18,161
ELAINE:
It's a story about
508
00:18:18,161 --> 00:18:18,214
ELAINE:
It's a story about
509
00:18:18,247 --> 00:18:21,881
love...deception...
510
00:18:21,914 --> 00:18:24,314
greed...lust...
511
00:18:24,347 --> 00:18:28,114
and...unbridled
enthusiasm.
512
00:18:29,614 --> 00:18:32,214
Unbridled enthusiasm?
513
00:18:32,247 --> 00:18:34,581
Yeah, yeah.
That's right.
514
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:36,481
That's...what led to,
uh...
515
00:18:36,514 --> 00:18:37,747
[CLEARS THROAT]
516
00:18:37,781 --> 00:18:40,514
Billy Mumphrey's
downfall.
517
00:18:40,547 --> 00:18:42,781
Hmm. Interesting take.
518
00:18:44,047 --> 00:18:46,381
So you believe that had
he not been so enthusiastic,
519
00:18:46,414 --> 00:18:48,161
he could have
averted disaster.
520
00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:48,914
he could have
averted disaster.
521
00:18:48,947 --> 00:18:51,414
Y-Yes. Yes.
522
00:18:51,447 --> 00:18:52,647
That's right.
523
00:18:52,681 --> 00:18:56,981
You see, Billy Mumphrey
was a simple country boy.
524
00:18:57,014 --> 00:19:01,981
Some might say a cockeyed
optimist who got caught up
525
00:19:02,014 --> 00:19:04,747
in the dirty game
of world diplomacy
526
00:19:04,781 --> 00:19:06,881
and international intrigue.
527
00:19:06,914 --> 00:19:10,814
So it was more a question
of attitude than politics?
528
00:19:10,847 --> 00:19:12,214
Yes. Yes,
Mr. Mandel.
529
00:19:16,714 --> 00:19:18,161
Hey! Under Siege
is on again.
530
00:19:18,161 --> 00:19:18,381
Hey! Under Siege
is on again.
531
00:19:18,414 --> 00:19:19,714
Who's up for it?
532
00:19:21,347 --> 00:19:23,847
No more nuts.
533
00:19:23,881 --> 00:19:24,881
[GROANS]
534
00:19:35,347 --> 00:19:37,814
Oh, my God.
535
00:19:37,847 --> 00:19:41,514
What the hell
is this?
536
00:19:41,547 --> 00:19:43,247
Don't tell me.
537
00:19:43,281 --> 00:19:44,281
Velvet?
538
00:19:45,747 --> 00:19:46,947
It's the real deal.
539
00:19:48,181 --> 00:19:50,414
She's seen you in this thing?
540
00:19:50,447 --> 00:19:51,414
That's right.
541
00:19:51,447 --> 00:19:52,714
We just had sex.
542
00:19:55,547 --> 00:19:57,714
You know, Jerry...
I've been searching
543
00:19:57,747 --> 00:20:00,047
for someone
a long time.
544
00:20:00,081 --> 00:20:02,514
Well, the search is over.
545
00:20:02,547 --> 00:20:05,681
And now the search for
the right psychiatrist begins.
546
00:20:05,714 --> 00:20:07,547
[SNAPS]
547
00:20:07,581 --> 00:20:09,314
So, uh, what's with
the suitcase?
548
00:20:09,347 --> 00:20:11,314
Uh, she threw me out.
549
00:20:11,347 --> 00:20:12,381
Why?
550
00:20:12,414 --> 00:20:14,414
I wouldn't use
her toothbrush.
551
00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:16,147
So where you staying?
552
00:20:16,181 --> 00:20:18,161
Well, I guess I'm stuck
with the Velvet Fog.
553
00:20:18,161 --> 00:20:18,581
Well, I guess I'm stuck
with the Velvet Fog.
554
00:20:21,447 --> 00:20:22,581
MR. MANDEL:
Three hours of
555
00:20:22,614 --> 00:20:26,081
massage time,
12 in-room movies,
556
00:20:26,114 --> 00:20:29,847
including several
adult features,
557
00:20:29,881 --> 00:20:35,047
five shoeshines
and $400 worth of snacks.
558
00:20:35,081 --> 00:20:37,381
Not to mention
the damage to the room.
559
00:20:37,414 --> 00:20:38,914
Mr. Mandel,
you don't understand.
560
00:20:38,947 --> 00:20:41,247
My friend had fleas.
561
00:20:41,281 --> 00:20:44,814
I ran into the gas.
It could have killed me.
562
00:20:44,847 --> 00:20:46,914
My-- My other friend
couldn't taste his peaches.
563
00:20:46,947 --> 00:20:48,161
They're only good
for two weeks.
564
00:20:48,161 --> 00:20:48,647
They're only good
for two weeks.
565
00:20:48,681 --> 00:20:53,814
I think you've
read one too many
Billy Mumphrey stories.
566
00:20:53,847 --> 00:20:55,214
Good day, Ms. Benes.
567
00:20:55,247 --> 00:20:56,347
Okay.
Good day.
568
00:21:05,781 --> 00:21:06,747
Hi, George.
569
00:21:06,781 --> 00:21:09,114
Hi.
This is fantastic.
570
00:21:10,881 --> 00:21:12,347
Have you ever had
a Mackinaw peach?
571
00:21:12,381 --> 00:21:13,381
Oh, yeah, I love those.
572
00:21:13,414 --> 00:21:15,781
Well, too bad.
It's all done.
573
00:21:23,447 --> 00:21:24,714
[GAGS]
574
00:21:33,114 --> 00:21:34,214
Yes.
575
00:21:34,247 --> 00:21:36,314
Yes, it's back.
I can taste again.
576
00:21:36,347 --> 00:21:37,714
What's the date today?
Uh, 15th.
577
00:21:37,747 --> 00:21:39,381
15th! Yes. Last day
for the Mackinaws.
578
00:21:39,414 --> 00:21:40,447
I can still make it.
579
00:21:42,014 --> 00:21:43,614
Wait. Newman.
Newman, what--
580
00:21:44,614 --> 00:21:47,047
Sorry. Last one.
581
00:21:47,081 --> 00:21:48,161
But if you want
to suck the pit.
582
00:21:48,161 --> 00:21:48,881
But if you want
to suck the pit.
583
00:21:48,914 --> 00:21:51,014
[LAUGHING]
584
00:21:51,047 --> 00:21:52,581
[MOCK LAUGHING]
585
00:21:52,614 --> 00:21:55,481
Look...Beauford,
it's the mailman.
586
00:21:55,514 --> 00:21:56,547
[BARKING]
587
00:21:56,581 --> 00:21:58,547
You remember
the mailman, don't you?
588
00:21:58,581 --> 00:21:59,747
Kramer!
Kramer, don't!
589
00:22:00,247 --> 00:22:01,514
Get him!
590
00:22:03,381 --> 00:22:05,381
[♪]
591
00:22:15,792 --> 00:22:17,792
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
592
00:22:23,725 --> 00:22:25,525
Hello?
Is anybody her--
593
00:22:29,325 --> 00:22:30,792
Oh.
594
00:22:32,158 --> 00:22:33,125
They said they were
595
00:22:33,158 --> 00:22:34,692
sending over an Asian woman.
596
00:22:34,725 --> 00:22:36,358
Oh, my God.
597
00:22:38,892 --> 00:22:40,892
[♪]
40227
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