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1
00:00:01,933 --> 00:00:03,900
The Christmas tree
certainly seems to inspire
2
00:00:03,933 --> 00:00:06,033
a love-hate relationship.
3
00:00:06,066 --> 00:00:09,466
All that time is spent
selecting it and decorating it,
4
00:00:09,500 --> 00:00:10,866
and then a week after,
5
00:00:10,900 --> 00:00:12,700
it's just thrown somewhere.
6
00:00:12,733 --> 00:00:14,133
You see it by the side
of the road.
7
00:00:14,166 --> 00:00:15,633
Looks like a mob hit.
8
00:00:15,666 --> 00:00:17,633
Car slows down, the door opens,
9
00:00:17,666 --> 00:00:18,966
and this tree just rolls out.
10
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:19,900
Bo-bum-poom-boom.
11
00:00:21,500 --> 00:00:23,800
People snap outta
that Christmas spirit
12
00:00:23,833 --> 00:00:25,500
like it was a drunken stupor.
13
00:00:25,533 --> 00:00:27,166
They just wake up one morning
14
00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:30,000
and go, "Oh, my God! There's
a tree inside the house.
15
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:30,400
and go, "Oh, my God! There's
a tree inside the house.
16
00:00:30,433 --> 00:00:33,100
Just throw it anywhere!"
17
00:00:40,081 --> 00:00:42,281
Ready to go, Lois?
18
00:00:42,314 --> 00:00:45,181
Boy, you sure like to say
my name, don't you?
Yeah.
19
00:00:45,214 --> 00:00:46,181
Excuse me, Lois.
20
00:00:46,214 --> 00:00:47,714
Stand back, Lois.
21
00:00:47,748 --> 00:00:49,214
Jimmy's in trouble, Lois.
22
00:00:49,248 --> 00:00:50,514
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
23
00:00:50,548 --> 00:00:51,814
Oh, Mr. Meyer,
24
00:00:51,848 --> 00:00:53,114
this is my friend, Jerry--
25
00:00:53,148 --> 00:00:55,014
Jerry Seinfeld.
26
00:00:55,048 --> 00:00:56,581
Duncan Meyer.
27
00:00:57,581 --> 00:00:59,048
You two
know each other?
28
00:00:59,081 --> 00:01:00,514
Yeah.
29
00:01:00,548 --> 00:01:03,681
We, uh, went to high school
together, didn't we, Jerry?
30
00:01:03,714 --> 00:01:04,881
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
31
00:01:04,914 --> 00:01:05,118
Gee, I hope
you're not leaving now.
32
00:01:05,118 --> 00:01:07,314
Gee, I hope
you're not leaving now.
33
00:01:07,348 --> 00:01:09,548
We still have
a lot of work left to do.
34
00:01:09,581 --> 00:01:12,314
Would you be able to come
all the way downtown again
35
00:01:12,348 --> 00:01:13,948
in rush hour
and pick me up?
36
00:01:13,981 --> 00:01:17,381
Why, I'd have to be Superman
to do that, Lois.
37
00:01:19,014 --> 00:01:19,981
ELAINE:
No.
38
00:01:20,014 --> 00:01:21,348
No, no, no.
This is all wrong.
39
00:01:21,381 --> 00:01:22,614
Where's the chicken cashew?
40
00:01:22,648 --> 00:01:24,814
You no order
chicken cashew.
41
00:01:24,848 --> 00:01:27,314
No, I-- I didn't order
any of this.
42
00:01:27,348 --> 00:01:28,414
I'm not payin' for this.
43
00:01:29,048 --> 00:01:30,281
Fine, Benes.
44
00:01:30,314 --> 00:01:31,948
We're putting you
on our list.
45
00:01:31,981 --> 00:01:33,214
What list?
46
00:01:33,248 --> 00:01:34,648
The do-not-deliver list.
47
00:01:35,481 --> 00:01:37,014
Merry Christmas to you!
48
00:01:38,881 --> 00:01:39,848
[SCOFFS]
49
00:01:39,881 --> 00:01:41,348
Well, I guess we'll just go out.
50
00:01:41,381 --> 00:01:42,681
Yeah.
51
00:01:42,714 --> 00:01:44,948
What are you doin'
with the Daily Worker?
52
00:01:44,981 --> 00:01:47,014
Weird, Ned must have
left it here.
53
00:01:47,048 --> 00:01:48,848
Your boyfriend reads
the Daily Worker?
54
00:01:48,881 --> 00:01:49,848
What is he a communist?
55
00:01:50,681 --> 00:01:51,681
He reads everything.
56
00:01:51,714 --> 00:01:53,381
You know,
Ned's very well-read.
57
00:01:53,414 --> 00:01:57,481
Maybe he's just very well...Red.
58
00:02:00,581 --> 00:02:01,881
A communist?
59
00:02:01,914 --> 00:02:03,981
Don't you think he probably
would have told me?
60
00:02:04,014 --> 00:02:05,118
Well, does he wear bland,
drab, olive-colored clothing?
61
00:02:05,118 --> 00:02:07,314
Well, does he wear bland,
drab, olive-colored clothing?
62
00:02:07,914 --> 00:02:09,348
Yes.
63
00:02:09,381 --> 00:02:11,514
Yes, he does dress
a little drab.
64
00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:12,914
Ha-ha. He's a communist.
65
00:02:13,914 --> 00:02:14,881
Ah.
66
00:02:14,914 --> 00:02:17,114
Hey, look at this.
67
00:02:17,148 --> 00:02:21,981
"Exciting, uninhibited woman
seeks forward-thinking comrade.
68
00:02:22,014 --> 00:02:24,381
Appearance not important."
69
00:02:24,414 --> 00:02:25,814
"Appearance not important"?
70
00:02:25,848 --> 00:02:27,681
This is unbelievable.
71
00:02:27,714 --> 00:02:30,348
Finally, this is
an ideology I can embrace.
72
00:02:31,381 --> 00:02:32,348
Hey-o.
GEORGE: Hey-o.
73
00:02:32,381 --> 00:02:33,348
ELAINE:
Hey.
74
00:02:33,381 --> 00:02:34,614
Where's Lois?
75
00:02:34,648 --> 00:02:35,118
She couldn't make it.
76
00:02:35,118 --> 00:02:36,014
She couldn't make it.
77
00:02:36,048 --> 00:02:37,714
I can't believe
you're really going out
78
00:02:37,748 --> 00:02:38,714
with a woman named Lois.
79
00:02:38,748 --> 00:02:39,781
I know. Finally!
80
00:02:39,814 --> 00:02:41,948
But, George,
guess who her boss is.
81
00:02:41,981 --> 00:02:43,014
Duncan Meyer.
82
00:02:43,681 --> 00:02:44,781
Duncan Meyer?
83
00:02:44,814 --> 00:02:45,848
Who's he?
84
00:02:45,881 --> 00:02:47,148
Elaine, only one other person
85
00:02:47,181 --> 00:02:49,048
in the world knows
what I'm about to tell you,
86
00:02:49,081 --> 00:02:50,814
and that's George.
87
00:02:53,881 --> 00:02:55,214
When we were
in the ninth grade,
88
00:02:55,248 --> 00:02:57,314
they had us all line up
at one end of the schoolyard
89
00:02:57,348 --> 00:02:59,781
for this big race to see who was
gonna represent the school
90
00:02:59,814 --> 00:03:01,048
in this track meet.
Mm-hmm.
91
00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:02,614
I was the last one on the end.
92
00:03:02,648 --> 00:03:03,948
George was next to me.
93
00:03:03,981 --> 00:03:04,948
And Mr. Bevilaqua--
94
00:03:04,981 --> 00:03:05,118
What's that?
95
00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:06,114
What's that?
96
00:03:06,148 --> 00:03:07,981
Mr. Bevilaqua,
the gym teacher.
97
00:03:08,014 --> 00:03:08,981
Oh, of course, right.
98
00:03:09,014 --> 00:03:10,181
He was down
at the other end.
99
00:03:10,214 --> 00:03:12,448
So he yells out,
"Ready?
100
00:03:12,481 --> 00:03:13,448
"On your mark.
101
00:03:13,481 --> 00:03:15,381
Get set."
102
00:03:15,414 --> 00:03:18,548
And I was so keyed up,
I just took off!
103
00:03:18,581 --> 00:03:19,781
By the time he said "go,"
104
00:03:19,814 --> 00:03:21,281
I was 10 yards
ahead of everybody.
105
00:03:21,314 --> 00:03:22,381
Nooo.
Yes.
106
00:03:22,414 --> 00:03:24,214
I looked up,
I couldn't believe it.
107
00:03:24,248 --> 00:03:26,948
By the time the race was over
and I had won, I was shocked.
108
00:03:26,981 --> 00:03:28,948
Nobody had noticed
the head start.
109
00:03:28,981 --> 00:03:30,014
Really?
Yes.
110
00:03:30,048 --> 00:03:31,348
And I had won by so much,
111
00:03:31,381 --> 00:03:33,814
a myth began to grow
about my speed.
112
00:03:35,181 --> 00:03:37,448
Only Duncan suspected
something was amiss.
113
00:03:37,481 --> 00:03:39,714
He's hated me ever since.
114
00:03:39,748 --> 00:03:42,048
And now, he's back.
115
00:03:42,081 --> 00:03:43,981
Well, what happened
when you raced him again?
116
00:03:44,748 --> 00:03:46,248
I never did.
117
00:03:47,414 --> 00:03:48,681
In four years
of high school,
118
00:03:48,714 --> 00:03:50,048
I would never race
anyone again,
119
00:03:50,081 --> 00:03:51,281
not even to
the end of a block
120
00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:52,448
or to catch a bus.
121
00:03:52,481 --> 00:03:54,814
And so the legend grew.
122
00:03:54,848 --> 00:03:55,981
Everyone wanted me to race.
123
00:03:56,014 --> 00:03:57,514
They begged me.
124
00:03:57,548 --> 00:04:00,014
The track coach called
my parents, pleading,
125
00:04:00,048 --> 00:04:01,448
telling them
that it was a sin
126
00:04:01,481 --> 00:04:03,781
for me to waste
my God-given talent.
127
00:04:03,814 --> 00:04:05,118
But I answered
him in the same way
128
00:04:05,118 --> 00:04:05,181
But I answered
him in the same way
129
00:04:05,214 --> 00:04:06,881
I answered everyone.
130
00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:09,514
I choose not to run.
131
00:04:11,481 --> 00:04:14,014
So now Duncan is back?
132
00:04:14,048 --> 00:04:15,181
He's back.
133
00:04:15,214 --> 00:04:16,181
[BANGS BOTTLE ON TABLE]
134
00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:17,914
As I knew he would be
some day.
135
00:04:19,548 --> 00:04:21,181
[BANGS CUP ON TABLE]
136
00:04:21,214 --> 00:04:22,181
[EXHALES]
137
00:04:22,214 --> 00:04:24,248
Man, that's some tart cider.
138
00:04:28,714 --> 00:04:30,148
Hi.
Hi.
139
00:04:30,181 --> 00:04:31,714
Sorry I missed
the Chinese food.
140
00:04:31,748 --> 00:04:33,514
Oh, so am I.
[SIGHS]
141
00:04:33,548 --> 00:04:35,118
How's, uh, Duncan?
142
00:04:35,118 --> 00:04:35,548
How's, uh, Duncan?
143
00:04:36,248 --> 00:04:37,814
He's okay.
144
00:04:38,514 --> 00:04:39,514
He say anything?
145
00:04:40,581 --> 00:04:41,914
About what?
146
00:04:42,881 --> 00:04:44,014
Oh, nothin'
in particular.
147
00:04:45,814 --> 00:04:47,981
Why did you cheat
in that race?
148
00:04:48,014 --> 00:04:48,981
I did not cheat.
149
00:04:49,014 --> 00:04:50,381
He said that you got
a head start.
150
00:04:50,414 --> 00:04:53,014
Oh, he's just jealous
'cause he came in second.
151
00:04:53,048 --> 00:04:54,014
Really?
152
00:04:54,048 --> 00:04:55,014
Yeah.
153
00:04:56,181 --> 00:04:59,281
So you were the fastest kid
in school?
154
00:04:59,314 --> 00:05:02,348
Faster than
a speeding bullet, Lois.
155
00:05:04,714 --> 00:05:05,118
ELAINE:
So how was work?
156
00:05:05,118 --> 00:05:05,781
ELAINE:
So how was work?
157
00:05:05,814 --> 00:05:08,248
Another day?
Another...dollar?
158
00:05:09,814 --> 00:05:10,848
I guess.
159
00:05:10,881 --> 00:05:12,514
Yeah, well,
nothin' wrong with that.
160
00:05:12,548 --> 00:05:15,281
Gotta make those big bucks.
161
00:05:15,314 --> 00:05:17,114
Money, money, money,
money, money, money.
162
00:05:17,148 --> 00:05:18,714
[GIGGLES]
163
00:05:18,748 --> 00:05:20,148
Are you a communist?
164
00:05:21,414 --> 00:05:23,114
[CLEARS THROAT]
165
00:05:23,148 --> 00:05:24,681
Yes, as a matter
of fact, I am.
166
00:05:24,714 --> 00:05:25,681
[GASPS]
167
00:05:25,714 --> 00:05:27,381
Ohhh! Whoa!
168
00:05:27,414 --> 00:05:29,048
A commie.
169
00:05:29,081 --> 00:05:30,614
Wow. Gee, man.
170
00:05:30,648 --> 00:05:32,481
It must be a bummer
for you guys, what,
171
00:05:32,514 --> 00:05:34,781
with the fall of the Soviet
empire and everything.
172
00:05:34,814 --> 00:05:35,118
Well, yeah. Well,
we still got China, Cuba.
173
00:05:35,118 --> 00:05:37,514
Well, yeah. Well,
we still got China, Cuba.
174
00:05:37,548 --> 00:05:38,948
Yeah, but...
175
00:05:38,981 --> 00:05:39,948
[SCOFFS]
176
00:05:39,981 --> 00:05:40,914
...come on.
177
00:05:42,148 --> 00:05:44,648
I know,
it's not the same.
178
00:05:44,681 --> 00:05:46,681
Well, you had a good run.
I mean, what was it?
179
00:05:46,714 --> 00:05:49,281
Seventy-five,
80 years wreaking havoc,
180
00:05:49,314 --> 00:05:50,514
making everybody nervous?
181
00:05:51,681 --> 00:05:53,448
Yeah, we had a good run.
182
00:05:53,481 --> 00:05:54,981
Well, so enjoy yourself.
183
00:05:56,181 --> 00:05:57,814
[LAUGHS]
184
00:05:59,548 --> 00:06:01,014
GEORGE:
So you lied to her?
185
00:06:01,048 --> 00:06:02,848
I couldn't tell her
the truth.
186
00:06:02,881 --> 00:06:04,881
I don't know what's gonna
happen between us.
187
00:06:04,914 --> 00:06:05,118
What if we have
a bad breakup?
188
00:06:05,118 --> 00:06:06,348
What if we have
a bad breakup?
189
00:06:06,381 --> 00:06:07,648
She'll go straight
to Duncan,
190
00:06:07,681 --> 00:06:09,048
and I want him
to go to his grave
191
00:06:09,081 --> 00:06:11,548
never being certain
that I got that head start.
192
00:06:12,248 --> 00:06:13,648
Well...
193
00:06:13,681 --> 00:06:16,448
I'm dating a communist.
194
00:06:16,481 --> 00:06:17,648
Wow.
195
00:06:17,681 --> 00:06:19,214
A communist.
That's somethin'.
196
00:06:19,248 --> 00:06:20,848
Yeah, that's
pretty cool, isn't it?
197
00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:21,848
Hey, did I tell ya?
198
00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:22,948
I called one of those girls
199
00:06:22,981 --> 00:06:24,714
from the personal ads
in the Daily Worker?
200
00:06:24,748 --> 00:06:25,714
Oh.
201
00:06:25,748 --> 00:06:28,314
The Daily Worker has personals?
202
00:06:28,348 --> 00:06:32,048
Yeah. And they say that
appearance is not important.
203
00:06:32,081 --> 00:06:33,214
Yours or hers?
204
00:06:34,514 --> 00:06:35,118
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!
205
00:06:35,118 --> 00:06:36,814
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!
206
00:06:36,848 --> 00:06:39,114
Merry Christmas,
everyone!
207
00:06:39,148 --> 00:06:40,448
Merry Christmas!
208
00:06:40,481 --> 00:06:42,714
Wow, look at you.
So you got the job!
209
00:06:42,748 --> 00:06:44,781
Yeah, you're lookin'
at the new Santa
210
00:06:44,814 --> 00:06:46,481
at Coleman's Department Store.
211
00:06:46,514 --> 00:06:49,014
Oh! Congratulations!
GEORGE: Way to go, there!
212
00:06:49,048 --> 00:06:50,881
Yeah, yeah.
Isn't it great?
213
00:06:50,914 --> 00:06:52,681
Hey, Mickey!
[LAUGHING]
Look at Mickey.
214
00:06:52,714 --> 00:06:54,681
How are ya?
Yeah.
215
00:06:54,714 --> 00:06:56,014
Get your beard on.
We're late.
216
00:06:56,048 --> 00:06:57,181
Ooh. Tshhh!
217
00:06:57,214 --> 00:06:58,348
On, Prancer!
218
00:06:58,381 --> 00:06:59,348
On, Dasher!
219
00:06:59,381 --> 00:07:00,481
On, Donna!
220
00:07:00,514 --> 00:07:01,514
It's not Donna.
221
00:07:01,548 --> 00:07:02,514
It's Donner.
222
00:07:02,548 --> 00:07:03,648
It's Donna.
Yeah, right.
223
00:07:03,681 --> 00:07:05,048
On, Prancer.
On, Dancer.
224
00:07:05,081 --> 00:07:05,118
On, Ethel.
On, Harriet.
225
00:07:05,118 --> 00:07:06,448
On, Ethel.
On, Harriet.
226
00:07:06,481 --> 00:07:07,714
[PHONE RINGS, DOOR CLOSES]
227
00:07:10,181 --> 00:07:11,214
Hello.
228
00:07:11,248 --> 00:07:13,214
Oh, hi, Lois.
229
00:07:13,248 --> 00:07:14,681
He wants to get together?
230
00:07:14,714 --> 00:07:16,348
What for?
231
00:07:16,381 --> 00:07:17,681
Uh, I don't know about that.
232
00:07:17,714 --> 00:07:19,514
I'll have to think about it.
233
00:07:19,548 --> 00:07:20,648
I'll let you know.
234
00:07:20,681 --> 00:07:22,048
Okay. Bye.
235
00:07:22,081 --> 00:07:23,048
What's up?
236
00:07:23,081 --> 00:07:24,281
Duncan wants to get together
237
00:07:24,314 --> 00:07:25,781
with me and her for lunch
tomorrow.
238
00:07:25,814 --> 00:07:27,848
He's gonna try to get me
to admit I got a head start.
239
00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:29,148
I don't think
she believes me.
240
00:07:29,181 --> 00:07:30,981
And he wants to meet you?
241
00:07:31,014 --> 00:07:32,048
I'll tell you what?
242
00:07:32,081 --> 00:07:33,148
I'll show up.
243
00:07:33,181 --> 00:07:34,514
He doesn't know we're friends.
244
00:07:34,548 --> 00:07:35,118
I'll pretend I haven't seen you
since high school.
245
00:07:35,118 --> 00:07:36,648
I'll pretend I haven't seen you
since high school.
246
00:07:36,681 --> 00:07:37,648
I'll back up the story.
247
00:07:37,681 --> 00:07:38,648
That's not bad.
248
00:07:38,681 --> 00:07:39,648
Not bad?
249
00:07:39,681 --> 00:07:40,581
It's gorgeous.
250
00:07:45,381 --> 00:07:47,648
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho.
251
00:07:47,681 --> 00:07:49,648
Well, come on,
little princess,
252
00:07:49,681 --> 00:07:51,148
tell Santa what you want.
253
00:07:51,181 --> 00:07:52,181
Don't be shy.
254
00:07:52,214 --> 00:07:54,614
She doesn't
speak English.
Oh.
255
00:07:54,648 --> 00:07:57,448
Santa speaks the language
of all children.
256
00:07:57,481 --> 00:07:59,981
Uh, norche-worche-dorche-doo?
257
00:08:00,014 --> 00:08:02,848
Okamaka-miki-mooki?
258
00:08:02,881 --> 00:08:05,118
Abratcha-datcha-natcha-dooti?
259
00:08:05,118 --> 00:08:05,814
Abratcha-datcha-natcha-dooti?
260
00:08:07,548 --> 00:08:09,281
Hey, Mickey,
when do we get a break?
261
00:08:09,314 --> 00:08:10,314
My lap is killin' me.
262
00:08:10,348 --> 00:08:11,348
There is no break.
263
00:08:11,381 --> 00:08:13,148
This is like a sweat shop.
264
00:08:14,248 --> 00:08:15,214
[WHISPERING]
Kramer.
265
00:08:15,248 --> 00:08:16,714
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
266
00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:18,981
Aah!
267
00:08:22,148 --> 00:08:23,781
ADA:
There's a Natalie on line 2.
268
00:08:23,814 --> 00:08:24,981
Natalie?
269
00:08:25,014 --> 00:08:26,648
From the Daily Worker?
270
00:08:27,814 --> 00:08:28,814
Thank you.
271
00:08:32,148 --> 00:08:33,614
Hello.
272
00:08:33,648 --> 00:08:34,781
Yes, Natalie.
273
00:08:34,814 --> 00:08:35,118
Uh, well, yes,
this is a business office,
274
00:08:35,118 --> 00:08:37,681
Uh, well, yes,
this is a business office,
275
00:08:37,714 --> 00:08:40,948
but, uh, I'm not
a businessman per se.
276
00:08:40,981 --> 00:08:44,114
I'm-- I'm here working
for the people.
277
00:08:44,148 --> 00:08:46,214
Yes, I'm, uh--
I'm causing dissent,
278
00:08:46,248 --> 00:08:47,481
stirring the pot,
279
00:08:47,514 --> 00:08:49,714
getting people to question
the whole rotten system.
280
00:08:54,314 --> 00:08:55,281
Elaine.
281
00:08:55,314 --> 00:08:56,348
Arlene.
282
00:08:56,381 --> 00:08:58,148
Hi.
Hello.
283
00:08:58,181 --> 00:08:59,648
Doin' a little Christmas
shopping?
284
00:08:59,681 --> 00:09:00,681
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah?
285
00:09:00,714 --> 00:09:02,214
Oh! This is Ned.
286
00:09:02,248 --> 00:09:03,214
He's a communist.
287
00:09:03,248 --> 00:09:04,781
Oh, really?
288
00:09:04,814 --> 00:09:05,118
Yeah. Big communist.
289
00:09:05,118 --> 00:09:05,781
Yeah. Big communist.
290
00:09:05,814 --> 00:09:06,981
Big, big communist.
291
00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:08,114
Oh.
[CHUCKLES]
292
00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:09,781
Well, it's awfully nice
to see you.
293
00:09:09,814 --> 00:09:11,548
Yeah, we'll see you later.
Okey-dokey.
294
00:09:11,581 --> 00:09:12,881
Nice to meet you.
Bye-bye.
295
00:09:12,914 --> 00:09:14,648
Hey, listen,
as long as we're here,
296
00:09:14,681 --> 00:09:17,281
what do you say we do
a little shirt shopping?
297
00:09:17,314 --> 00:09:19,048
Out of the question.
298
00:09:19,081 --> 00:09:20,048
Oh.
299
00:09:20,081 --> 00:09:21,114
Kramer!
300
00:09:21,148 --> 00:09:22,848
Oh, hi, Elaine.
ELAINE: Hi.
301
00:09:22,881 --> 00:09:24,214
Hi, Mickey.
How are ya?
302
00:09:24,248 --> 00:09:25,614
This is--
This is Ned.
303
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,848
Oh, hey.
How are you
doin' there, buddy?
304
00:09:27,881 --> 00:09:29,181
Hey, you guys
stay here, okay?
305
00:09:29,214 --> 00:09:31,148
I'll be right back.
Right back.
306
00:09:31,181 --> 00:09:34,281
Eight hours of jingle-belling
and ho-ho-hoing.
307
00:09:34,314 --> 00:09:35,118
Boy, I am hoed out.
308
00:09:35,118 --> 00:09:36,181
Boy, I am hoed out.
309
00:09:36,214 --> 00:09:38,514
Anyone who works here
is a sap.
310
00:09:38,548 --> 00:09:39,614
Hey, watch it, pal!
311
00:09:39,648 --> 00:09:40,781
Whoa, whoa, easy.
312
00:09:40,814 --> 00:09:41,948
Come on, come on.
Huh!
313
00:09:41,981 --> 00:09:43,848
What's the matter
with you?
314
00:09:43,881 --> 00:09:45,514
You know the Santa's
at Bloomfields
315
00:09:45,548 --> 00:09:46,848
are makin' double
what you are?
316
00:09:46,881 --> 00:09:48,614
Double?
[SCOFFS]
317
00:09:48,648 --> 00:09:50,181
I bet the glue
from that beard itches.
318
00:09:50,214 --> 00:09:51,514
Oh, you've got that straight.
319
00:09:51,548 --> 00:09:54,114
So when you get a rash
all over your face in January,
320
00:09:54,148 --> 00:09:56,514
you think Coleman's will be
there with a medical plan?
321
00:09:56,548 --> 00:09:59,014
Look, you take that commie crap
out to the street.
322
00:09:59,048 --> 00:10:01,014
Kramer, I've got
some literature in my car
323
00:10:01,048 --> 00:10:02,948
that will change
your whole way of thinking.
324
00:10:02,981 --> 00:10:03,981
Talk to me, baby.
325
00:10:04,014 --> 00:10:05,118
Don't listen to him, Kramer.
326
00:10:05,118 --> 00:10:05,181
Don't listen to him, Kramer.
327
00:10:05,214 --> 00:10:06,448
You got a good job here!
328
00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:08,348
DUNCAN:
There's just no way
329
00:10:08,381 --> 00:10:11,281
you could have beaten me
by that much.
330
00:10:11,314 --> 00:10:13,148
I'd already beaten you
in junior high school
331
00:10:13,181 --> 00:10:14,348
three times.
332
00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:16,481
I didn't hit puberty
till the ninth grade.
333
00:10:16,514 --> 00:10:19,781
That's what gave me my speed.
334
00:10:19,814 --> 00:10:21,481
Besides, if I got
a head start,
335
00:10:21,514 --> 00:10:23,314
why didn't Mr. Bevilaqua
stop the race?
336
00:10:23,348 --> 00:10:25,114
That's what I've always
wondered about.
337
00:10:25,148 --> 00:10:26,048
Well, uh--
338
00:10:30,148 --> 00:10:32,781
Oh, my God!
339
00:10:32,814 --> 00:10:35,118
No! Oh, my God!
340
00:10:35,118 --> 00:10:36,648
No! Oh, my God!
341
00:10:36,681 --> 00:10:38,681
Jerry!
342
00:10:38,714 --> 00:10:40,481
I'm sorry, uh...
343
00:10:43,048 --> 00:10:44,514
George!
344
00:10:44,548 --> 00:10:46,214
George Costanza!
345
00:10:46,248 --> 00:10:49,948
Oh, George Costanza.
346
00:10:49,981 --> 00:10:50,948
Kennedy High.
347
00:10:50,981 --> 00:10:53,114
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
348
00:10:53,148 --> 00:10:54,981
This is unbelievable.
349
00:10:55,014 --> 00:10:56,548
Hi, George.
350
00:10:56,581 --> 00:10:59,048
Wh--? Oh, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
351
00:10:59,081 --> 00:11:00,948
Don't tell me.
Don't tell me.
352
00:11:00,981 --> 00:11:04,181
It starts with a...
353
00:11:04,214 --> 00:11:05,118
Duncan!
354
00:11:05,118 --> 00:11:05,181
Duncan!
355
00:11:05,214 --> 00:11:06,514
[BOTH LAUGH]
356
00:11:06,548 --> 00:11:08,548
Oh, wow. This is something.
357
00:11:08,581 --> 00:11:10,514
I haven't seen you guys in what?
Twenty years?
358
00:11:10,548 --> 00:11:11,514
Yeah. This is Lois.
359
00:11:11,548 --> 00:11:12,614
Hi, there.
Hello.
360
00:11:12,648 --> 00:11:14,848
[CHUCKLES]
361
00:11:14,881 --> 00:11:16,681
So, what have you been doin'
with yourself?
362
00:11:16,714 --> 00:11:18,214
Well, uh--
I'm a comedian.
363
00:11:18,248 --> 00:11:19,248
Uh-huh.
364
00:11:21,648 --> 00:11:22,681
Well, I, uh--
365
00:11:22,714 --> 00:11:24,181
I really wouldn't know
about that.
366
00:11:24,214 --> 00:11:25,514
I don't watch much TV.
367
00:11:25,548 --> 00:11:26,514
I like to read.
368
00:11:26,548 --> 00:11:28,281
Ah.
369
00:11:28,314 --> 00:11:30,881
You do a lot of that "Did you
ever notice" kinda stuff?
370
00:11:30,914 --> 00:11:32,814
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
371
00:11:35,514 --> 00:11:36,981
You know, it strikes me
a lot of guys
372
00:11:37,014 --> 00:11:38,181
are doin' that kind of humor.
373
00:11:38,214 --> 00:11:41,048
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
374
00:11:41,081 --> 00:11:43,314
Well, you really went
bald there, didn't you?
375
00:11:46,548 --> 00:11:47,848
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
376
00:11:47,881 --> 00:11:51,514
You used to really
have a thick...
377
00:11:51,548 --> 00:11:53,148
full head of hair.
378
00:11:53,181 --> 00:11:54,548
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
379
00:11:54,581 --> 00:11:56,214
Poof.
[CHUCKLES]
380
00:11:56,248 --> 00:11:58,214
Yeah, well, I guess
I started losin' it
381
00:11:58,248 --> 00:11:59,848
when I was about 28,
382
00:11:59,881 --> 00:12:01,881
right around the time
I made my first million.
383
00:12:01,914 --> 00:12:03,781
Oh.
Yeah.
384
00:12:03,814 --> 00:12:05,118
You know, it's true
what they say.
385
00:12:05,118 --> 00:12:05,214
You know, it's true
what they say.
386
00:12:05,248 --> 00:12:06,348
The first million
387
00:12:06,381 --> 00:12:08,048
[KNOCKING ON WOOD]
is the hardest one.
388
00:12:08,081 --> 00:12:09,614
Yeah, yeah.
What do you do?
389
00:12:09,648 --> 00:12:11,181
I'm an architect.
390
00:12:12,514 --> 00:12:14,481
Have you designed
any buildings in New York?
391
00:12:14,514 --> 00:12:17,481
Have you seen the new addition
to the Guggenheim?
392
00:12:18,081 --> 00:12:19,048
You did that?
393
00:12:19,081 --> 00:12:20,348
Yep, yep.
394
00:12:20,381 --> 00:12:22,681
Y'know, it didn't take
very long either.
395
00:12:22,714 --> 00:12:25,381
Well, you've really built
yourself up into something.
396
00:12:25,414 --> 00:12:28,448
Well, well, I, uh--
397
00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:29,981
I had a dream, Jerry.
Yeah.
398
00:12:30,014 --> 00:12:31,514
You know,
399
00:12:31,548 --> 00:12:33,481
one can't help but wonder
what brings you
400
00:12:33,514 --> 00:12:35,118
into a crummy little
coffee shop like this.
401
00:12:35,118 --> 00:12:35,914
into a crummy little
coffee shop like this.
402
00:12:37,181 --> 00:12:39,614
Well, I like to stay in touch
with the people.
403
00:12:39,648 --> 00:12:42,048
Ah-ha. You know, you got
a hole in your sneaker there.
404
00:12:42,081 --> 00:12:43,314
What is that? Canvas?
405
00:12:43,348 --> 00:12:45,281
Yeah, you know, my driver
is waiting outside.
406
00:12:45,314 --> 00:12:46,681
I really...should get running.
407
00:12:46,714 --> 00:12:48,514
Good to see you guys again.
Good to see you.
408
00:12:48,548 --> 00:12:50,348
George, George, George,
hang on a second.
409
00:12:50,381 --> 00:12:51,614
I haven't seen you
in so long.
410
00:12:51,648 --> 00:12:53,014
Uh-huh.
411
00:12:53,048 --> 00:12:54,848
I thought we might
reminisce a little more.
412
00:12:54,881 --> 00:12:57,481
Duncan and I were just talking
about the day of the big race.
413
00:12:57,514 --> 00:12:58,481
Oh, the big race!
414
00:12:58,514 --> 00:13:00,614
Yes, yes.
415
00:13:00,648 --> 00:13:02,548
You were there?
Oh, sure, sure.
416
00:13:02,581 --> 00:13:04,148
I certainly was.
417
00:13:04,181 --> 00:13:05,118
Yeah, I remember that day.
418
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:05,614
Yeah, I remember that day.
419
00:13:05,648 --> 00:13:07,481
Well, I'll never forget it
because that--
420
00:13:07,514 --> 00:13:09,814
That was the day
that I lost my virginity
421
00:13:09,848 --> 00:13:13,381
to Miss Stafford,
the voluptuous homeroom teacher.
422
00:13:13,414 --> 00:13:15,281
Miss Stafford?
Yes, yes.
423
00:13:15,314 --> 00:13:18,814
You know, I was in detention,
and she came up behind me
424
00:13:18,848 --> 00:13:20,381
while I was erasing
the blackboard.
425
00:13:20,414 --> 00:13:21,648
George.
426
00:13:21,681 --> 00:13:24,714
But I digress. Heh.
427
00:13:24,748 --> 00:13:25,714
Let me see now.
428
00:13:25,748 --> 00:13:26,814
As I remember,
429
00:13:26,848 --> 00:13:28,514
you were standing
at one end of the line,
430
00:13:28,548 --> 00:13:29,648
I was right next to you,
431
00:13:29,681 --> 00:13:31,681
and, uh, I remember that
we were even for, like,
432
00:13:31,714 --> 00:13:33,648
the first five yards,
and then baboom!
433
00:13:33,681 --> 00:13:34,648
You were gone.
434
00:13:34,681 --> 00:13:35,118
Did I get a head start?
435
00:13:35,118 --> 00:13:35,948
Did I get a head start?
436
00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:37,348
Head sta--
Oh, no.
437
00:13:37,381 --> 00:13:39,048
Absolutely not. No.
438
00:13:39,081 --> 00:13:41,181
You satisfied?
So you see?
439
00:13:41,214 --> 00:13:42,948
No. I'm still not
convinced,
440
00:13:42,981 --> 00:13:44,181
and I never will be.
441
00:13:44,214 --> 00:13:46,648
Why don't the two of you
just race again?
442
00:13:46,681 --> 00:13:47,981
That's a good idea.
443
00:13:48,014 --> 00:13:49,514
No, no, no, no.
444
00:13:49,548 --> 00:13:51,181
Another race,
out of the question.
445
00:13:51,214 --> 00:13:53,114
I know. You've been
saying that for 20 years
446
00:13:53,148 --> 00:13:54,614
because you know
you can't beat me.
447
00:13:54,648 --> 00:13:58,348
You couldn't beat me then,
and you can't beat me now.
448
00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:01,114
Race him, Jerry.
449
00:14:01,148 --> 00:14:02,081
Race him!
450
00:14:04,414 --> 00:14:05,118
All right.
451
00:14:05,118 --> 00:14:06,648
All right.
452
00:14:06,681 --> 00:14:08,048
I'll do it!
453
00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:09,481
The race is on.
454
00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:14,302
You're gonna race him?
455
00:14:14,335 --> 00:14:16,168
Yeah, and he's calling
all these people
456
00:14:16,202 --> 00:14:18,202
from high school
to come and watch.
457
00:14:20,502 --> 00:14:22,502
I knew this day would come.
458
00:14:22,535 --> 00:14:24,335
I can't do it.
I can't go through with it.
459
00:14:24,368 --> 00:14:26,902
I'm calling it off.
I can't let the legend die.
460
00:14:26,935 --> 00:14:29,235
It's like a kid finding out
there's no Santa Clause.
461
00:14:30,902 --> 00:14:34,868
"Each according to his ability
to each according to his means."
462
00:14:34,902 --> 00:14:36,402
What does that mean?
463
00:14:36,435 --> 00:14:38,235
Well, if you got means
and ability,
464
00:14:38,268 --> 00:14:40,068
that's a pretty good
combination.
465
00:14:40,102 --> 00:14:41,309
So what if I wanna
open up a delicatessen?
466
00:14:41,309 --> 00:14:42,368
So what if I wanna
open up a delicatessen?
467
00:14:42,402 --> 00:14:44,502
There are no delicatessens
under communism.
468
00:14:44,535 --> 00:14:46,135
Whoa. Why not?
469
00:14:46,168 --> 00:14:49,202
Well, because the meats are
divided into a class system.
470
00:14:49,235 --> 00:14:51,402
You got pastrami
and corned beef in one class,
471
00:14:51,435 --> 00:14:52,902
and salami and bologna
in another.
472
00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:53,902
That's not right.
473
00:14:53,935 --> 00:14:55,635
So you can't get
corned beef?
474
00:14:55,668 --> 00:14:56,702
Well, you know,
475
00:14:56,735 --> 00:15:00,268
if you're in
the politburo, maybe.
476
00:15:01,602 --> 00:15:02,902
Yeah, this is George Costanza.
477
00:15:02,935 --> 00:15:05,168
Any messages for me?
478
00:15:05,202 --> 00:15:09,302
Why does Mr. Steinbrenner
wanna see me in his office?
479
00:15:09,335 --> 00:15:10,935
Communist?
I'm not a communist.
480
00:15:12,735 --> 00:15:14,135
All right.
All right, all right!
481
00:15:14,168 --> 00:15:15,235
I'll be there.
482
00:15:15,268 --> 00:15:18,535
My secretary, Ada,
told Mr. Steinbrenner
483
00:15:18,568 --> 00:15:20,468
that I'm a communist!
Now, he wants to see me.
484
00:15:20,502 --> 00:15:23,035
So? You'll just explain to him
that you're not a communist.
485
00:15:23,068 --> 00:15:24,568
You just called the woman
for a date.
486
00:15:24,602 --> 00:15:25,902
[RINGS]
487
00:15:27,935 --> 00:15:29,702
Hello.
488
00:15:29,735 --> 00:15:31,702
Oh, hi, Duncan.
489
00:15:31,735 --> 00:15:33,668
No, 4:00 tomorrow--
490
00:15:33,702 --> 00:15:35,368
That is not going to work.
491
00:15:35,402 --> 00:15:37,335
Why? I'll tell you why.
492
00:15:38,435 --> 00:15:41,102
Because I choose not
to run!
493
00:15:42,535 --> 00:15:43,535
NED:
I'm sorry, Elaine.
494
00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:44,702
This shirt's too fancy.
495
00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:46,202
Just because
you're a communist,
496
00:15:46,235 --> 00:15:48,468
does that mean you can't
wear anything nice?
497
00:15:48,502 --> 00:15:50,035
You look like Trotsky.
498
00:15:50,068 --> 00:15:51,202
Good.
499
00:15:52,235 --> 00:15:53,702
Fine. You wanna be
a communist?
500
00:15:53,735 --> 00:15:55,235
Be a communist.
501
00:15:55,268 --> 00:15:57,535
Can't you at least look like
a successful communist?
502
00:15:57,568 --> 00:15:58,635
All right.
503
00:15:58,668 --> 00:15:59,868
I'll try it on.
504
00:15:59,902 --> 00:16:01,668
All right, I'm gonna
order Chinese food.
505
00:16:01,702 --> 00:16:03,502
You're ordering
from Hop Sing's, right?
506
00:16:03,535 --> 00:16:04,502
[GROANS]
507
00:16:04,535 --> 00:16:05,835
Does it have to be Hop Sing's?
508
00:16:05,868 --> 00:16:07,168
I kinda had a fight with him.
509
00:16:07,202 --> 00:16:10,635
Elaine, when my father
was blacklisted,
510
00:16:10,668 --> 00:16:11,309
he couldn't work for years.
511
00:16:11,309 --> 00:16:12,235
he couldn't work for years.
512
00:16:12,268 --> 00:16:15,202
He and his friends used to sit
in Hop Sing's every day,
513
00:16:15,235 --> 00:16:16,802
figuring out how to survive.
514
00:16:16,835 --> 00:16:18,735
Your father was blacklisted?
515
00:16:18,768 --> 00:16:20,235
Yes, he was.
And you know why?
516
00:16:20,268 --> 00:16:22,835
Because he was betrayed
by people he trusted.
517
00:16:22,868 --> 00:16:24,668
They named names.
518
00:16:24,702 --> 00:16:26,568
Okay. Okay.
519
00:16:31,702 --> 00:16:32,968
Um, yeah, hi.
520
00:16:33,002 --> 00:16:37,635
I'd like a delivery please
to 16 West 75th Street,
521
00:16:37,668 --> 00:16:39,035
apartment 2G.
522
00:16:39,068 --> 00:16:40,802
I know that address!
523
00:16:40,835 --> 00:16:41,309
You're Benes, right?!
524
00:16:41,309 --> 00:16:42,735
You're Benes, right?!
525
00:16:42,768 --> 00:16:44,235
You're on our list.
526
00:16:44,268 --> 00:16:46,135
No more deliveries!
527
00:16:46,168 --> 00:16:47,635
Uh-- No, no.
528
00:16:47,668 --> 00:16:48,668
D-- Uh--
529
00:16:48,702 --> 00:16:50,235
She doesn't
live here anymore.
530
00:16:50,268 --> 00:16:51,535
This is someone else.
531
00:16:51,568 --> 00:16:53,468
Oh, yeah?
What's the name?
532
00:16:53,502 --> 00:16:54,835
Why do you need a name?
533
00:16:54,868 --> 00:16:56,402
You already have the address.
534
00:16:56,435 --> 00:16:58,735
We need a name.
535
00:16:58,768 --> 00:17:00,335
Give us a name!
536
00:17:01,502 --> 00:17:03,335
Okay. Okay.
537
00:17:03,368 --> 00:17:05,002
Ned Isaacoff.
538
00:17:08,235 --> 00:17:09,902
I want a racing car, Santa.
539
00:17:09,935 --> 00:17:10,902
Ho-ho-ho-ho!
540
00:17:10,935 --> 00:17:11,309
A racing-car set!
541
00:17:11,309 --> 00:17:13,868
A racing-car set!
542
00:17:13,902 --> 00:17:15,568
[QUIETLY]
Listen, you don't want that.
543
00:17:15,602 --> 00:17:20,035
Those are assembled in Taiwan
by kids like you.
544
00:17:20,068 --> 00:17:21,235
And these Coleman pigs,
545
00:17:21,268 --> 00:17:22,902
they sell it
for triple the cost.
546
00:17:22,935 --> 00:17:24,902
But I want
a racing-car set.
547
00:17:24,935 --> 00:17:27,568
No, don't you see, kid?
You're being bamboozled.
548
00:17:27,602 --> 00:17:31,735
These capitalist fat cats
are inflating the profit margin
549
00:17:31,768 --> 00:17:34,068
and reducing
your total number of toys.
550
00:17:34,102 --> 00:17:36,068
Hey, this guy's a commie!
551
00:17:36,102 --> 00:17:37,235
Hey, kid, quiet!
552
00:17:37,268 --> 00:17:40,068
Heh. Where did a nice
little boy like you
553
00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:41,309
learn such a bad word
like that, huh?
554
00:17:41,309 --> 00:17:42,068
learn such a bad word
like that, huh?
555
00:17:42,102 --> 00:17:43,668
Commie! Commie!
556
00:17:43,702 --> 00:17:45,035
Traitor to our country!
557
00:17:46,602 --> 00:17:49,735
Santa is not
a commie.
558
00:17:49,768 --> 00:17:51,335
He just forgot
how his good friend
559
00:17:51,368 --> 00:17:52,402
stuck his neck out
for him
560
00:17:52,435 --> 00:17:54,702
to get him a good job
like this,
561
00:17:54,735 --> 00:17:56,368
didn't he, Santa?
562
00:17:56,402 --> 00:17:57,868
Is there a problem here?
563
00:17:57,902 --> 00:17:59,368
Whoa! Ho-ho-ho-ho!
564
00:17:59,402 --> 00:18:02,168
This guy's a commie,
and he's spreading propaganda!
565
00:18:02,202 --> 00:18:03,668
Oh, yeah?
566
00:18:03,702 --> 00:18:05,135
Well, that's enough, pinko.
567
00:18:05,168 --> 00:18:06,902
You're through!
The both of you!
568
00:18:06,935 --> 00:18:08,235
I got two kids
in college!
569
00:18:08,268 --> 00:18:09,235
Oh, you can't fire me.
570
00:18:09,268 --> 00:18:10,235
I'm Santa!
571
00:18:10,268 --> 00:18:11,235
Not anymore.
572
00:18:11,268 --> 00:18:11,309
Get your skinny ass
outta here!
573
00:18:11,309 --> 00:18:13,235
Get your skinny ass
outta here!
574
00:18:15,368 --> 00:18:16,735
Hi, how are ya?
575
00:18:18,368 --> 00:18:20,202
Fine.
576
00:18:20,235 --> 00:18:22,035
What's the matter?
577
00:18:22,068 --> 00:18:23,968
I just spoke to Duncan.
578
00:18:24,002 --> 00:18:27,235
He said, if you don't race,
he's going to fire me.
579
00:18:27,268 --> 00:18:29,368
What?
He can't do that.
580
00:18:29,402 --> 00:18:31,402
Yes, he can.
581
00:18:31,435 --> 00:18:35,035
He controls the means
of production.
582
00:18:35,068 --> 00:18:37,202
What are you gonna do, Jerry?
583
00:18:37,235 --> 00:18:38,668
Don't worry, Lois.
584
00:18:38,702 --> 00:18:41,035
I'll think of something.
585
00:18:44,668 --> 00:18:47,168
Ah-ha! I knew it was you.
586
00:18:47,202 --> 00:18:49,468
You tried to trick Hop Sing!
587
00:18:49,502 --> 00:18:51,902
You're on our list,
Elaine Benes!
588
00:18:51,935 --> 00:18:53,168
And now...
589
00:18:53,202 --> 00:18:56,502
you're on our list,
Ned Isaacoff.
590
00:18:57,835 --> 00:19:00,668
You got me blacklisted
at Hop Sing's?
591
00:19:02,168 --> 00:19:03,668
She named name.
592
00:19:12,168 --> 00:19:14,335
You, uh, wanted to see,
Mr. Steinbrenner?
593
00:19:14,368 --> 00:19:15,302
Yes, George, I did.
594
00:19:15,335 --> 00:19:16,302
Come in. Come in.
595
00:19:16,335 --> 00:19:17,902
George, the word
around the office
596
00:19:17,935 --> 00:19:19,035
is that you're a communist.
597
00:19:20,668 --> 00:19:23,902
What? A communist?
598
00:19:23,935 --> 00:19:26,968
I am a Yankee, sir,
first and foremost.
599
00:19:27,002 --> 00:19:29,502
You know, it struck me today
that a communist pipeline
600
00:19:29,535 --> 00:19:31,635
into the best reservoir
of Cuban baseball talent
601
00:19:31,668 --> 00:19:33,402
could be the greatest thing
ever to happen
602
00:19:33,435 --> 00:19:34,902
to this organization.
Sir?
603
00:19:34,935 --> 00:19:36,802
You could be invaluable
to this franchise.
604
00:19:36,835 --> 00:19:38,235
There's a southpaw down there
605
00:19:38,268 --> 00:19:39,735
nobody's been able
to get a look at.
606
00:19:39,768 --> 00:19:40,735
Something Rodriguez.
607
00:19:40,768 --> 00:19:41,309
I don't really know his name.
608
00:19:41,309 --> 00:19:41,968
I don't really know his name.
609
00:19:42,002 --> 00:19:43,802
You get yourself down
to Havana right away.
610
00:19:43,835 --> 00:19:45,168
Yes, sir.
611
00:19:45,202 --> 00:19:46,368
Yes, sir!
612
00:19:46,402 --> 00:19:48,135
Do my best.
Good.
613
00:19:48,168 --> 00:19:49,502
Merry Christmas, George.
614
00:19:49,535 --> 00:19:51,902
And bring me back some of
those cigars in the cedar boxes.
615
00:19:51,935 --> 00:19:54,068
The ones with the fancy rings.
I love fancy rings.
616
00:19:54,102 --> 00:19:56,168
They kinda distract you,
while you're smoking.
617
00:19:56,202 --> 00:19:57,302
The red and yellow are nice.
618
00:19:57,335 --> 00:19:59,135
Looks good against
the brown with a cigar.
619
00:19:59,168 --> 00:20:00,802
The maduro,
I like the maduro wrapper.
620
00:20:00,835 --> 00:20:02,568
The darker, the better.
That's what I say.
621
00:20:02,602 --> 00:20:03,835
The claro's good too.
622
00:20:03,868 --> 00:20:05,702
That's more of a pale brown.
A milky coffee.
623
00:20:05,735 --> 00:20:07,135
I find the ring size confusing.
624
00:20:07,168 --> 00:20:09,502
They have it in centimeters,
which I don't understand.
625
00:20:09,535 --> 00:20:11,068
Whoa, that was great!
626
00:20:11,102 --> 00:20:11,309
Nice job, Santa!
627
00:20:11,309 --> 00:20:12,235
Nice job, Santa!
628
00:20:12,268 --> 00:20:13,535
Yeah!
629
00:20:13,568 --> 00:20:15,735
I knew that commie stuff
was gonna get us in trouble.
630
00:20:15,768 --> 00:20:18,235
Yeah, well, I didn't realize
it was such a sensitive issue.
631
00:20:18,268 --> 00:20:21,402
Communism? You didn't realize
communism was a sensitive issue?
632
00:20:21,435 --> 00:20:23,302
What do you think's been
goin' on in the world
633
00:20:23,335 --> 00:20:24,568
for the past 50 years?
634
00:20:24,602 --> 00:20:26,068
Wake up and smell the coffee!
635
00:20:26,102 --> 00:20:28,035
I guess I screwed up!
636
00:20:28,068 --> 00:20:29,635
Oh, you sure did!
637
00:20:29,668 --> 00:20:30,602
Bigtime!
638
00:20:31,768 --> 00:20:33,902
[CHEERING, CLAPPING]
639
00:20:40,702 --> 00:20:41,309
How do you feel?
640
00:20:41,309 --> 00:20:42,335
How do you feel?
641
00:20:42,368 --> 00:20:43,868
I need a miracle.
642
00:20:45,602 --> 00:20:47,302
Now, you're gonna see
what kind of a liar
643
00:20:47,335 --> 00:20:48,702
you're mixed up with.
644
00:20:48,735 --> 00:20:51,202
Well, if he beats you,
I want a big raise.
645
00:20:51,235 --> 00:20:52,635
If he beats me,
646
00:20:52,668 --> 00:20:54,302
I'll not only
give you a raise,
647
00:20:54,335 --> 00:20:57,035
I'll send you to Hawaii
for two weeks.
648
00:20:57,068 --> 00:20:59,402
George, listen, I parked
in front of that restaurant.
649
00:20:59,435 --> 00:21:01,802
As soon as this race is over,
we gotta go to the airport.
650
00:21:01,835 --> 00:21:03,302
Okay, I'll be there.
All right.
651
00:21:03,335 --> 00:21:05,035
You ready, boys?
652
00:21:05,068 --> 00:21:06,368
Yeah, Mr. Bevilaqua.
653
00:21:06,402 --> 00:21:08,202
All right. This is the way
it's gonna work.
654
00:21:08,235 --> 00:21:09,302
You take your marks.
655
00:21:09,335 --> 00:21:11,309
I say, "Ready.
On your mark. Get set."
656
00:21:11,309 --> 00:21:12,502
I say, "Ready.
On your mark. Get set."
657
00:21:12,535 --> 00:21:14,202
And then fire. You got it?
658
00:21:14,235 --> 00:21:16,468
BOTH:
Yes, Mr. Bevilaqua.
659
00:21:16,502 --> 00:21:17,702
Come on, Jerry.
660
00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:19,235
Come on, Jerry.
661
00:21:21,702 --> 00:21:23,435
Ready?
662
00:21:24,102 --> 00:21:26,102
On your mark!
663
00:21:26,702 --> 00:21:27,668
[BOOM]
664
00:21:27,702 --> 00:21:29,435
[THEME FROM SUPERMAN PLAYING]
665
00:22:30,835 --> 00:22:32,702
[APPLAUSE & CHEERING FADE IN]
666
00:22:34,235 --> 00:22:36,535
So will you come
to Hawaii with me, Jerry?
667
00:22:36,568 --> 00:22:38,302
Maybe I will, Lois.
668
00:22:38,335 --> 00:22:39,902
Maybe I will.
669
00:22:50,902 --> 00:22:53,335
[♪]
670
00:22:54,665 --> 00:22:56,333
You wanted to see me,
el presidente?
671
00:22:56,367 --> 00:22:59,533
Sí, sí. Muévete. Come here.
672
00:22:59,567 --> 00:23:01,467
I understand you're
very interested
673
00:23:01,500 --> 00:23:02,733
in one of our players, huh?
674
00:23:02,767 --> 00:23:05,300
Oh-- Sí, sí.
675
00:23:05,333 --> 00:23:08,567
Ordinarily, I would not
grant such a request,
676
00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:10,233
but I have heard you are, uh--
677
00:23:10,267 --> 00:23:11,233
How you say?
678
00:23:11,267 --> 00:23:13,167
--communista simpatico, huh?
679
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:15,867
Muy simpatico. Muy, muy, muy.
680
00:23:15,900 --> 00:23:16,900
Well, good!
681
00:23:16,933 --> 00:23:18,400
Then you can have your pick.
682
00:23:18,433 --> 00:23:19,326
Oh, oh!
683
00:23:19,326 --> 00:23:19,400
Oh, oh!
684
00:23:19,433 --> 00:23:20,733
They will play for your Yankee!
685
00:23:20,767 --> 00:23:22,200
Oh, well.
[LAUGHS]
686
00:23:22,233 --> 00:23:24,400
Gracias, el comandante,gracias.
687
00:23:24,433 --> 00:23:25,567
Muy, muy. Heh, heh.
688
00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:27,867
And I would be honored
if you would be my guest
689
00:23:27,900 --> 00:23:30,367
for dinner tonight
at the presidential palace.
690
00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:31,900
There will be girls there.
Ohhh.
691
00:23:31,933 --> 00:23:33,533
And I hear some pretty
good food.
692
00:23:33,567 --> 00:23:35,500
Of course, the problem
with parties is,
693
00:23:35,533 --> 00:23:37,200
you invariably have to eat
standing up,
694
00:23:37,233 --> 00:23:38,533
which I don't care for.
695
00:23:38,567 --> 00:23:39,867
But on the other hand,
696
00:23:39,900 --> 00:23:41,867
I don't like to balance
a plate on my lap either.
697
00:23:41,900 --> 00:23:43,200
Once, when I was at a party,
698
00:23:43,233 --> 00:23:45,867
I put my plateon someone's piano.
699
00:23:45,900 --> 00:23:47,633
I assure you,
if I had not been a dictator,
700
00:23:47,667 --> 00:23:49,326
I would not have been able
to get away with that one!
701
00:23:49,326 --> 00:23:49,867
I would not have been able
to get away with that one!
47304
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