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1
00:00:01,733 --> 00:00:03,900
The love seat is an interesting
little item there.
2
00:00:03,933 --> 00:00:06,533
I guess some guy thought, "If we
can't get them to sit closer,
3
00:00:06,566 --> 00:00:08,200
why not just shorten
the furniture?"
4
00:00:08,233 --> 00:00:11,533
My other favorite
furniture brand is the La-Z-Boy.
5
00:00:11,566 --> 00:00:14,000
This is very flattering
to the prospective customer,
6
00:00:14,033 --> 00:00:15,500
isn't it?
7
00:00:15,533 --> 00:00:17,866
Why don't we just call it
"the half-conscious dead beat
8
00:00:17,900 --> 00:00:21,400
with no job, home all day,
eating Cheetos
9
00:00:21,433 --> 00:00:23,833
and watching TV" recliner.
10
00:00:23,866 --> 00:00:26,733
And it goes back so far,
that thing.
11
00:00:26,766 --> 00:00:29,900
I mean, go to bed already.
It's over. You're wiped.
12
00:00:35,733 --> 00:00:37,900
JERRY:
So she got you
to join a book club?
13
00:00:37,933 --> 00:00:39,233
I got a feeling
I'm gonna be
14
00:00:39,266 --> 00:00:42,400
much smarter than you
pretty soon.
15
00:00:42,433 --> 00:00:44,033
Well, I think
that statement alone
16
00:00:44,066 --> 00:00:47,233
reflects your burgeoning
intelligence.
17
00:00:47,266 --> 00:00:48,400
Hey, what about
this one?
18
00:00:48,433 --> 00:00:49,733
No, I don't like
that one.
19
00:00:49,766 --> 00:00:50,966
So, what's your first book?
20
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:53,366
Breakfast at Tiffany's.
90 pages.
21
00:00:55,700 --> 00:00:56,833
It's kind of old, isn't it?
22
00:00:56,866 --> 00:00:59,066
They wanted to read
a Truman Capote book.
23
00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:00,833
Oh, sure.
Truman Capote.
24
00:01:00,866 --> 00:01:02,500
Yeah, he's a great writer.
Oh, yeah.
25
00:01:02,533 --> 00:01:02,699
Did you ever
read anything by him?
26
00:01:02,699 --> 00:01:04,000
Did you ever
read anything by him?
27
00:01:04,033 --> 00:01:05,000
No, you?
28
00:01:05,033 --> 00:01:06,433
Nah.
29
00:01:07,533 --> 00:01:09,500
Oh, what about
this one?
30
00:01:09,533 --> 00:01:11,400
Look at this.
This is it.
31
00:01:11,433 --> 00:01:14,300
This is what
I'm looking for.
32
00:01:14,333 --> 00:01:15,733
Oh, yeah.
33
00:01:17,033 --> 00:01:18,300
ELAINE:
Hey, what's going on?
34
00:01:18,333 --> 00:01:19,300
New couch,
baby.
35
00:01:19,333 --> 00:01:21,466
New couch?
Why?
36
00:01:21,500 --> 00:01:22,566
I love this couch.
37
00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:24,233
You know what
the best part about it is?
38
00:01:24,266 --> 00:01:26,766
It doesn't fold out,
so no one can sleep over.
39
00:01:29,666 --> 00:01:30,633
Hello.
40
00:01:30,666 --> 00:01:32,699
Hello.
41
00:01:32,699 --> 00:01:33,300
Hello.
42
00:01:33,333 --> 00:01:35,666
Oh, let me
get the door for you.
43
00:01:37,833 --> 00:01:40,033
Ooh, be careful,
be careful.
44
00:01:40,066 --> 00:01:41,133
Wait till
you see it.
45
00:01:41,166 --> 00:01:42,200
It's perfect.
46
00:01:42,233 --> 00:01:43,633
The guy told me
it's one of a kind.
47
00:01:43,666 --> 00:01:45,200
They stopped
making it.
48
00:01:45,233 --> 00:01:46,866
What are you doing
with your old couch?
49
00:01:46,900 --> 00:01:48,533
Nothing, the moving guys
are taking it.
50
00:01:48,566 --> 00:01:50,400
Why, you want it?
Yeah, I'll take it.
51
00:01:50,433 --> 00:01:52,566
Oh, I'm sure they can
deliver it to your apartment.
52
00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:55,100
Yes, they can.
53
00:01:56,100 --> 00:01:57,066
Hey, couch
is coming?
54
00:01:57,100 --> 00:01:58,066
It's here.
55
00:01:58,100 --> 00:01:59,400
All right,
yeah.
56
00:01:59,433 --> 00:02:01,166
You know, I'm excited
about this, Jerry.
57
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:02,699
In a way I feel like
I'm getting a new couch.
58
00:02:02,699 --> 00:02:03,066
In a way I feel like
I'm getting a new couch.
59
00:02:03,100 --> 00:02:04,766
Yeah, so do I.
60
00:02:05,933 --> 00:02:07,300
Ooh, you remember
Poppie?
61
00:02:07,333 --> 00:02:09,300
Oh, you mean
from Poppie's Restaurant?
62
00:02:09,333 --> 00:02:11,900
Yeah, yeah. Anyway, uh, we're
going into business together.
63
00:02:11,933 --> 00:02:13,700
You remember that idea
I had a few years ago
64
00:02:13,733 --> 00:02:15,900
about the pizza place
where you make your own pizza?
65
00:02:15,933 --> 00:02:17,066
Yeah.
What was that again?
66
00:02:17,100 --> 00:02:18,066
It's a pizza place
67
00:02:18,100 --> 00:02:19,833
where you make
your own pie.
68
00:02:19,866 --> 00:02:22,333
We give you the dough,
the sauce, the cheese.
69
00:02:22,366 --> 00:02:26,700
You pound it, slap it.
You flip it up into the air,
70
00:02:26,733 --> 00:02:30,533
put your toppings on,
and you slide it into oven.
71
00:02:30,566 --> 00:02:32,333
Sounds good, huh?
72
00:02:32,366 --> 00:02:32,699
[SOUTHERN ACCENT]
Ooh, I can't wait
to get me a fella
73
00:02:32,699 --> 00:02:34,566
[SOUTHERN ACCENT]
Ooh, I can't wait
to get me a fella
74
00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:35,700
and make my own pie.
75
00:02:36,766 --> 00:02:38,666
What made you resurrect
that old idea?
76
00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:41,033
Well, I happened to be
eating at Poppie's
77
00:02:41,066 --> 00:02:42,966
when I told him
the old idea,
78
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:45,633
and his eyes...
just lit up.
79
00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:46,966
You know, he wants
to back it.
80
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,233
I heard Poppie's
was good.
81
00:02:48,266 --> 00:02:50,400
Let's go.
I'm not going there.
82
00:02:50,433 --> 00:02:52,300
Didn't he get busted
by the board of health?
83
00:02:52,333 --> 00:02:54,033
Well, that was
in the past, Jerry.
84
00:02:54,066 --> 00:02:56,233
As it happens,
New York magazine
85
00:02:56,266 --> 00:02:57,833
just judged
his kitchen
86
00:02:57,866 --> 00:02:59,500
to be one of the cleanest
in the city.
87
00:02:59,533 --> 00:03:00,500
They got a duck there--
88
00:03:00,533 --> 00:03:02,699
You think you died
and went to heaven.
89
00:03:02,699 --> 00:03:02,700
You think you died
and went to heaven.
90
00:03:02,733 --> 00:03:04,866
Ooh, I love duck.
91
00:03:04,900 --> 00:03:06,000
Come on, come on.
92
00:03:06,033 --> 00:03:07,866
Well, you gotta order it
two days in advance.
93
00:03:07,900 --> 00:03:09,166
You know,
I'm gonna call him.
94
00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:10,633
I'm gonna order
the duck for you.
95
00:03:10,666 --> 00:03:11,933
Oh, Kramer--
96
00:03:17,566 --> 00:03:18,700
Right there,
guys.
97
00:03:18,733 --> 00:03:20,166
That's perfect.
98
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,166
Huh?
99
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:23,000
What do you think,
Lainie?
100
00:03:23,033 --> 00:03:24,000
Well,
I don't know.
101
00:03:24,033 --> 00:03:25,166
I'll have to
sit on it.
102
00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:27,400
Oh no, I don't want
anyone sitting on it.
103
00:03:27,866 --> 00:03:29,966
Sign here.
104
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:31,066
Excuse me.
105
00:03:31,100 --> 00:03:32,699
Um, I was wondering
if it would be possible
106
00:03:32,699 --> 00:03:33,333
Um, I was wondering
if it would be possible
107
00:03:33,366 --> 00:03:34,800
if you could deliver
the old couch
108
00:03:34,833 --> 00:03:36,533
to my apartment.
It's not very far.
109
00:03:36,566 --> 00:03:38,500
Sure.
Okay.
110
00:03:38,533 --> 00:03:40,800
You, uh-- You got room
in the truck for me?
111
00:03:40,833 --> 00:03:42,533
Uh, heh, heh.
112
00:03:42,566 --> 00:03:44,066
Yeah, I think we can
squeeze you in.
113
00:03:44,100 --> 00:03:46,033
Oh, goody.
Okay.
114
00:03:46,066 --> 00:03:47,166
Well, uh...
115
00:03:48,333 --> 00:03:50,666
I'll see you chumps later.
116
00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:54,300
Did you offer those guys
a drink?
117
00:03:54,333 --> 00:03:56,300
Uh, no.
Should I have?
118
00:03:56,333 --> 00:03:57,666
What kind
of a person are you?
119
00:03:57,700 --> 00:03:59,500
I don't know.
120
00:04:00,766 --> 00:04:02,666
GEORGE:
Okay. Breakfast at Tiffany's.
121
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,966
So, he puts
the couch down,
122
00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,366
and just as he's
about to leave,
123
00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:24,666
he says,
"Do you date moving men?"
124
00:04:24,700 --> 00:04:26,633
Uh-huh.
125
00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:27,900
You wanna know
what I said?
126
00:04:27,933 --> 00:04:29,466
Oh, I can't wait.
127
00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:31,533
"I do now."
128
00:04:32,533 --> 00:04:32,699
Clever.
Is that something?
129
00:04:32,699 --> 00:04:34,000
Clever.
Is that something?
130
00:04:34,033 --> 00:04:35,133
Yes.
Is that something?
131
00:04:35,166 --> 00:04:37,033
You're something.
132
00:04:38,500 --> 00:04:40,533
So, anyway, when they were
in my house before--
133
00:04:40,566 --> 00:04:41,666
Yeah?
134
00:04:41,700 --> 00:04:43,800
--I didn't offer them
anything to drink.
135
00:04:43,833 --> 00:04:46,700
Well, they're real men, Jerry.
They get sweaty.
136
00:04:46,733 --> 00:04:48,400
So anyone sweaty
comes into your house
137
00:04:48,433 --> 00:04:49,533
has to be offered
a drink?
138
00:04:49,566 --> 00:04:51,166
Yes.
139
00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:53,166
Well, would you
apologize for me.
140
00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:54,466
Mm-hm.
141
00:04:54,500 --> 00:04:55,900
Hello.
142
00:04:55,933 --> 00:04:58,133
Jerry, so good
to see you again.
143
00:04:58,166 --> 00:05:02,066
Hello...Poppie.
144
00:05:02,100 --> 00:05:02,699
This is Elaine.
145
00:05:02,699 --> 00:05:03,133
This is Elaine.
146
00:05:03,166 --> 00:05:04,966
Nice to meet you,
Poppie.
147
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,400
Let me show you
to your table, huh?
148
00:05:06,433 --> 00:05:07,533
Okay.
149
00:05:07,566 --> 00:05:10,800
Your duck is a-cookin'
as we speak.
150
00:05:10,833 --> 00:05:14,833
It is so succulent,
so succulent.
151
00:05:14,866 --> 00:05:17,666
Well, Kramer told us all about
your business venture together.
152
00:05:17,700 --> 00:05:20,700
Your friend and I are gonna
make a lot of money, huh?
153
00:05:20,733 --> 00:05:21,866
Ha, ha.
154
00:05:21,900 --> 00:05:25,300
Of course, I already have
a lot of money.
155
00:05:25,333 --> 00:05:27,233
Poppie does very well.
156
00:05:27,266 --> 00:05:28,566
Very well.
157
00:05:30,366 --> 00:05:32,699
Well, your mother must be
very proud of you.
158
00:05:32,699 --> 00:05:33,500
Well, your mother must be
very proud of you.
159
00:05:35,733 --> 00:05:39,566
My mother was taken
from my house
160
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:42,000
by the communists
in the middle of the night
161
00:05:42,033 --> 00:05:44,500
when I was 10 years old.
162
00:05:44,533 --> 00:05:47,333
She was sent
to a slave labor camp,
163
00:05:47,366 --> 00:05:50,533
where she labored
for 12 years.
164
00:05:50,566 --> 00:05:53,466
Finally,
they released her,
165
00:05:53,500 --> 00:05:55,533
and she was
on a boat to America
166
00:05:55,566 --> 00:05:57,533
to reunite with us.
167
00:05:57,566 --> 00:06:00,066
But she was served
some bad fish,
168
00:06:00,100 --> 00:06:02,699
and she died
on the high seas.
169
00:06:02,699 --> 00:06:03,766
and she died
on the high seas.
170
00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:10,233
So, what's good
tonight?
171
00:06:22,900 --> 00:06:24,333
Boy, I'm really
looking forward
172
00:06:24,366 --> 00:06:25,400
to this duck.
173
00:06:25,433 --> 00:06:26,400
I've never had food
174
00:06:26,433 --> 00:06:28,466
ordered in advance before.
175
00:06:28,500 --> 00:06:29,666
Meh, I could have stayed home
176
00:06:29,700 --> 00:06:31,166
and ordered a pizza
from Pokeno's.
177
00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:32,699
Pokeno's?
178
00:06:32,699 --> 00:06:33,033
Pokeno's?
179
00:06:33,066 --> 00:06:35,333
Oh, no, you should never
order pizza from Pokeno's.
180
00:06:35,366 --> 00:06:36,333
Why not?
181
00:06:36,366 --> 00:06:37,733
Because the owner
182
00:06:37,766 --> 00:06:38,866
contributes a lot of money
183
00:06:38,900 --> 00:06:40,833
to those fanatical
anti-abortion groups.
184
00:06:40,866 --> 00:06:42,166
So you won't eat the pizza?
185
00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:43,200
Uh-uh, no way.
186
00:06:43,233 --> 00:06:44,800
Really?
Yeah.
187
00:06:44,833 --> 00:06:49,166
Well, what if, uh,
Poppie felt the same way?
188
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,700
Well, I...
189
00:06:50,733 --> 00:06:52,133
I guess I wouldn't
eat here then.
190
00:06:52,166 --> 00:06:53,666
Really?
191
00:06:53,700 --> 00:06:55,300
Yeah, that's right.
192
00:06:55,333 --> 00:06:57,233
Well, perhaps
we should inquire.
193
00:06:58,500 --> 00:06:59,666
Poppie!
194
00:06:59,700 --> 00:07:00,833
Oh, Poppie.
195
00:07:00,866 --> 00:07:02,699
Could I have
a word?
196
00:07:02,699 --> 00:07:02,966
Could I have
a word?
197
00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:03,966
Yes, Jerry.
198
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,233
I just checked
your duck.
199
00:07:05,266 --> 00:07:07,133
It is more succulent
than even I had hoped.
200
00:07:07,166 --> 00:07:08,133
Oh.
201
00:07:08,166 --> 00:07:09,900
Poppie, I was just curious.
202
00:07:09,933 --> 00:07:11,966
Where do you stand
on the abortion issue?
203
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:15,300
When my mother was abducted
by the communists,
204
00:07:15,333 --> 00:07:16,633
she was with a child.
205
00:07:16,666 --> 00:07:18,233
Oh, boy.
But the communists,
206
00:07:18,266 --> 00:07:20,133
they put an end to that.
207
00:07:20,166 --> 00:07:22,633
So on this issue,
there is no debate.
208
00:07:22,666 --> 00:07:25,466
And no intelligent person
can think differently.
209
00:07:25,500 --> 00:07:30,000
Well, Poppie,
I think differently.
210
00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:31,900
And what gives you
the right to do that?
211
00:07:31,933 --> 00:07:32,699
The Supreme Court
gives me the right to do that.
212
00:07:32,699 --> 00:07:36,466
The Supreme Court
gives me the right to do that.
213
00:07:36,500 --> 00:07:37,566
Let's go, Jerry, come on.
214
00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:40,833
I heard that.
Let's go, Henry.
215
00:07:40,866 --> 00:07:41,833
We just got here.
216
00:07:41,866 --> 00:07:43,566
I'm with you,
Poppie.
217
00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:45,066
Let's go.
218
00:07:45,100 --> 00:07:46,900
And I am not
coming back.
219
00:07:46,933 --> 00:07:48,533
You're not welcome!
220
00:07:53,433 --> 00:07:55,733
Well, I'm certainly glad
I brought it up.
221
00:07:58,100 --> 00:07:59,733
JERRY:
Well, you should have seen it.
222
00:07:59,766 --> 00:08:02,133
It us quite a scene
over there.
223
00:08:02,166 --> 00:08:02,699
I'm sorry
I missed it.
224
00:08:02,699 --> 00:08:03,133
I'm sorry
I missed it.
225
00:08:03,166 --> 00:08:04,800
Oh, you really
missed something.
226
00:08:04,833 --> 00:08:07,166
And I have to say,
227
00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:09,500
it was pretty much
all my fault.
228
00:08:09,866 --> 00:08:11,100
[LAUGHS]
229
00:08:12,066 --> 00:08:13,233
So, how's the book coming?
230
00:08:16,566 --> 00:08:17,800
I said, how's the book coming?
231
00:08:17,833 --> 00:08:19,700
Oh, pretty good.
232
00:08:19,733 --> 00:08:21,533
So, what's it about?
233
00:08:21,566 --> 00:08:23,866
Well, it's about
Holly Golightly.
234
00:08:23,900 --> 00:08:24,866
Holly Golightly?
235
00:08:24,900 --> 00:08:26,033
She's quite a character.
236
00:08:26,066 --> 00:08:27,800
Yeah. You haven't read a page,
have you?
237
00:08:27,833 --> 00:08:29,033
No.
Yeah.
238
00:08:29,066 --> 00:08:30,366
Big surprise.
239
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:31,533
I couldn't.
240
00:08:31,566 --> 00:08:32,699
You know,
if it's not about sports,
241
00:08:32,699 --> 00:08:33,033
You know,
if it's not about sports,
242
00:08:33,066 --> 00:08:34,866
I find it very hard
to concentrate.
243
00:08:36,033 --> 00:08:37,400
You're not very bright,
are you?
244
00:08:39,100 --> 00:08:41,200
No, I'm not.
245
00:08:41,233 --> 00:08:43,633
I would like to be,
but I'm not.
246
00:08:43,666 --> 00:08:44,700
Well, what
am I gonna do?
247
00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:46,366
The book club meets
in a few days.
248
00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:48,566
Why don't you rent the movie.
249
00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:51,866
Why don't I rent the movie.
250
00:08:51,900 --> 00:08:53,500
You see,
this is when I like you.
251
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:54,833
All right,
now I'm relieved.
252
00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:58,700
So...
253
00:08:58,733 --> 00:09:00,700
How was the dinner
last night?
254
00:09:02,033 --> 00:09:02,699
Oh, well...
255
00:09:02,699 --> 00:09:03,066
Oh, well...
256
00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:05,866
Did you enjoy the duck?
257
00:09:05,900 --> 00:09:08,333
Oh, Elaine,
I was just asking
258
00:09:08,366 --> 00:09:09,533
how dinner went
last night.
259
00:09:09,566 --> 00:09:11,800
Oh, well...
260
00:09:11,833 --> 00:09:13,466
All right,
what did you do to Poppie?
261
00:09:13,500 --> 00:09:14,566
Nothing.
262
00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:16,366
Well, he's in the hospital,
263
00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:18,233
and the cook said says
you put him there.
264
00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:20,066
What's wrong with him?
265
00:09:20,100 --> 00:09:21,333
I don't know.
266
00:09:21,366 --> 00:09:23,333
I'm gonna go
and visit him later.
267
00:09:23,366 --> 00:09:26,533
It would be nice
if you got him something.
268
00:09:27,833 --> 00:09:28,866
[KNOCKS TABLE]
269
00:09:30,766 --> 00:09:32,133
We should
get him something.
270
00:09:32,166 --> 00:09:32,699
Yeah,
you're right.
271
00:09:32,699 --> 00:09:34,266
Yeah,
you're right.
272
00:09:36,833 --> 00:09:38,566
Do you know
that I have been using
273
00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:41,466
the same bottle
of shampoo for a year,
274
00:09:41,500 --> 00:09:43,400
and I shampoo every day.
275
00:09:45,566 --> 00:09:47,366
So, what do you think
of my conversation?
276
00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:48,566
Not much.
277
00:09:53,366 --> 00:09:54,666
I-I would have
invited you up,
278
00:09:54,700 --> 00:09:57,333
but I, uh-- I don't
have any furniture.
279
00:09:58,333 --> 00:09:59,733
You don't have
any furniture?
280
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:02,000
No, I hate furniture.
I can't look at it.
281
00:10:06,166 --> 00:10:07,533
Oh, I can
understand that.
282
00:10:10,666 --> 00:10:12,000
I'm a pretty good
date, huh?
283
00:10:12,033 --> 00:10:14,166
Yeah.
No heavy lifting.
284
00:10:23,833 --> 00:10:25,966
KRAMER:
Anyway, Jerry and Elaine
felt very badly
285
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,200
about what happened to you,
286
00:10:27,233 --> 00:10:28,600
and they wanted you
to have this.
287
00:10:31,266 --> 00:10:32,699
What's this?
288
00:10:32,699 --> 00:10:33,033
What's this?
289
00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:37,333
A bottle of wine
and five-alarm chili.
290
00:10:37,366 --> 00:10:38,966
They're trying
to kill Poppie?
291
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,533
Why?
292
00:10:40,566 --> 00:10:43,066
Well, don't they know I have
a gastrointestinal disorder.
293
00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:46,800
If I would have any of this,
I would die.
294
00:10:46,833 --> 00:10:48,866
Then Poppie
is no good to anyone.
295
00:10:48,900 --> 00:10:52,666
This is a sick,
sick joke on Poppie.
296
00:10:52,700 --> 00:10:56,000
How could you be friends
with those two?
297
00:10:56,033 --> 00:10:58,466
Well, we're not
very close.
298
00:10:58,500 --> 00:11:00,000
They owe me
for those ducks.
299
00:11:00,033 --> 00:11:01,133
Yeah.
300
00:11:01,166 --> 00:11:02,699
They're flown in
from Newfoundland.
301
00:11:02,699 --> 00:11:02,866
They're flown in
from Newfoundland.
302
00:11:02,900 --> 00:11:04,500
Oh, they got
good ducks there, huh?
303
00:11:04,533 --> 00:11:06,233
Oh, very good ducks.
304
00:11:08,033 --> 00:11:09,033
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
305
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,533
I'm in love!
306
00:11:12,566 --> 00:11:13,533
Whoa.
307
00:11:13,566 --> 00:11:16,533
This is it, Jerry.
This is it!
308
00:11:16,566 --> 00:11:18,366
He is such
an incredible person.
309
00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:21,366
He's real. He's honest.
He's unpretentious.
310
00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:24,200
Oh, I'm really lucky.
311
00:11:24,233 --> 00:11:26,566
Did you tell him I was sorry
I didn't offer him the drink?
312
00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:28,533
No, I forgot.
313
00:11:28,566 --> 00:11:31,733
The best part is, he doesn't
play games, you know?
314
00:11:31,766 --> 00:11:32,699
There are no games.
315
00:11:32,699 --> 00:11:33,366
There are no games.
316
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:34,500
No games?
317
00:11:34,533 --> 00:11:36,733
What is the point of dating
without games?
318
00:11:36,766 --> 00:11:39,033
How do you know if you're
winning or losing?
319
00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:41,666
Well, all I know is,
he doesn't like games,
320
00:11:41,700 --> 00:11:42,966
and he doesn't
play games.
321
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:45,300
You know, he has too much
character and integrity.
322
00:11:45,333 --> 00:11:46,400
Uh-huh.
323
00:11:46,433 --> 00:11:49,866
And what is his stand
on abortion?
324
00:11:54,533 --> 00:11:56,033
What?
325
00:11:57,600 --> 00:12:01,233
What is his stand...
on abortion?
326
00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:08,366
Well, I'm sure he's pro-choice.
327
00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:09,500
How do you know?
328
00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:13,500
Because he...
329
00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:15,233
Well...
330
00:12:15,266 --> 00:12:17,266
He's just
so good-looking.
331
00:12:18,833 --> 00:12:20,166
Well, you should
probably ask.
332
00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:21,733
Because if he's gonna
be coming over
333
00:12:21,766 --> 00:12:26,566
with those Pokeno's pizzas,
it could be trouble.
334
00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:31,800
GEORGE:
I'd like to rent
Breakfast At Tiffany's.
335
00:12:31,833 --> 00:12:32,699
Uh, this is out.
Someone has it.
336
00:12:32,699 --> 00:12:34,333
Uh, this is out.
Someone has it.
337
00:12:34,366 --> 00:12:35,466
Out?
Oh, no.
338
00:12:35,500 --> 00:12:37,033
I've been
to four other places.
339
00:12:37,066 --> 00:12:38,633
You're the only ones
that have had it.
340
00:12:38,666 --> 00:12:40,200
I could put it
on reserve for you
341
00:12:40,233 --> 00:12:41,200
if you'd like.
342
00:12:41,233 --> 00:12:42,466
Maybe we could call them
343
00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:45,000
and ask them to return it.
344
00:12:45,033 --> 00:12:48,300
Oh, sorry.
We can't do that.
345
00:12:48,333 --> 00:12:50,033
Well, maybe they're
done with it.
346
00:12:50,066 --> 00:12:51,366
I could go pick it up.
347
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:52,533
I don't think so.
348
00:12:52,566 --> 00:12:54,500
It doesn't work that way.
349
00:12:56,900 --> 00:12:59,033
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
350
00:13:10,542 --> 00:13:12,342
[INTERCOM BUZZES]
351
00:13:12,375 --> 00:13:13,442
MAN [ON INTERCOM]:
Yes?
352
00:13:14,442 --> 00:13:18,442
Um, excuse me,
are you Joel Temple?
353
00:13:19,575 --> 00:13:21,375
Yes.
354
00:13:21,408 --> 00:13:24,975
Uh... Yes.
Uh, you don't know me.
355
00:13:25,008 --> 00:13:27,408
Uh, my name
is George Costanza.
356
00:13:27,442 --> 00:13:30,108
Did you happen to rent
Breakfast At Tiffany's?
357
00:13:33,608 --> 00:13:34,875
Hey.
Hey, what's happening?
358
00:13:34,908 --> 00:13:36,842
Yeah, well, you know,
Poppie's over my place.
359
00:13:36,875 --> 00:13:38,246
You know, tonight's
the big night.
360
00:13:38,246 --> 00:13:38,342
You know, tonight's
the big night.
361
00:13:38,375 --> 00:13:40,642
I'm gonna make the first
test pizza at the restaurant.
362
00:13:40,675 --> 00:13:42,508
Oh, hey, you got a regular
Manhattan Project
363
00:13:42,542 --> 00:13:44,342
going over there.
Yeah.
364
00:13:44,375 --> 00:13:45,742
Anyway,
he's about to leave.
365
00:13:45,775 --> 00:13:46,875
He wants
the duck money.
366
00:13:46,908 --> 00:13:49,042
Oh, okay. Hi, Poppie.
367
00:13:49,075 --> 00:13:50,042
Hello.
368
00:13:50,075 --> 00:13:51,175
I'm sorry
about the gift.
369
00:13:51,208 --> 00:13:52,742
I didn't know
about your condition.
370
00:13:52,775 --> 00:13:54,042
That's fine.
371
00:13:54,075 --> 00:13:55,642
If you just give me
my duck money,
372
00:13:55,675 --> 00:13:56,675
I'll be on my way.
373
00:13:56,708 --> 00:13:58,442
Okay, I'll get it.
374
00:13:59,542 --> 00:14:00,875
Why don't you
sit down, Poppie.
375
00:14:00,908 --> 00:14:02,675
You're still
recuperating.
376
00:14:08,342 --> 00:14:10,875
Ah.
377
00:14:10,908 --> 00:14:11,908
Oh, you tired,
Poppie?
378
00:14:13,408 --> 00:14:14,708
No.
379
00:14:14,742 --> 00:14:16,175
Hey, Poppie.
380
00:14:16,208 --> 00:14:18,408
You really think people wanna
make they're own pizza?
381
00:14:18,442 --> 00:14:22,175
Kramer, did I ever tell you
about my mother?
382
00:14:23,408 --> 00:14:24,508
My mother--
383
00:14:24,542 --> 00:14:26,342
Here you go.
384
00:14:26,375 --> 00:14:28,508
Anyway, I'm, uh,
sorry again about the--
385
00:14:30,042 --> 00:14:31,808
The...
The what?
386
00:14:31,842 --> 00:14:33,542
The...
387
00:14:34,375 --> 00:14:35,342
Okay, Poppie.
The...
388
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:36,342
The...
389
00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:38,075
So, so long,
huh?
390
00:14:38,108 --> 00:14:38,246
I'll see you
tonight.
391
00:14:38,246 --> 00:14:39,075
I'll see you
tonight.
392
00:14:39,108 --> 00:14:40,108
All right.
393
00:14:41,042 --> 00:14:43,675
Kra-- Kramer,
w-what is this?
394
00:14:43,708 --> 00:14:44,675
What is what?
395
00:14:44,708 --> 00:14:46,975
This puddle on my sofa.
What puddle?
396
00:14:47,008 --> 00:14:48,508
Th-that puddle!
397
00:14:51,775 --> 00:14:52,875
I don't know.
398
00:14:54,042 --> 00:14:55,075
Is it?
399
00:14:56,275 --> 00:14:57,608
Could it?
400
00:14:58,908 --> 00:15:00,242
Could-- Could
he have...?
401
00:15:01,042 --> 00:15:03,142
It is!
402
00:15:03,175 --> 00:15:05,842
Poppie peed
on my sofa!
403
00:15:07,375 --> 00:15:08,246
You sure?
404
00:15:08,246 --> 00:15:08,342
You sure?
405
00:15:08,375 --> 00:15:09,742
Well,
what is it then?
406
00:15:13,875 --> 00:15:14,975
My new sofa!
407
00:15:15,008 --> 00:15:16,708
Poppie peed
on my new sofa!
408
00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:19,242
I'm sure
it'll come out.
409
00:15:19,275 --> 00:15:20,642
I don't care
if it comes out,
410
00:15:20,675 --> 00:15:22,542
I can't
sit on that anymore.
411
00:15:22,575 --> 00:15:23,842
You're making
too much of it.
412
00:15:23,875 --> 00:15:25,542
Yeah, you're right.
413
00:15:25,575 --> 00:15:27,075
Just a natural
human function.
414
00:15:27,108 --> 00:15:29,542
Happens to be on my sofa...
415
00:15:29,575 --> 00:15:32,175
instead of the toilet,
where it would normally be.
416
00:15:32,542 --> 00:15:34,075
Right.
417
00:15:34,108 --> 00:15:37,608
GEORGE:
Well, anyway the book club
meets tomorrow, Mr. Temple.
418
00:15:38,675 --> 00:15:42,542
Well, I was gonna
watch it with my daughter.
419
00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:44,208
She likes Audrey Hepburn
very much.
420
00:15:44,242 --> 00:15:46,442
Yeah, she was
a delicate flower.
421
00:15:49,242 --> 00:15:51,242
Why didn't you just
read the book?
422
00:15:53,575 --> 00:15:55,242
Well, as I say,
the, uh, pinkeye
423
00:15:55,275 --> 00:15:57,742
made my vision
quite blurry.
424
00:15:57,775 --> 00:15:59,408
Remy.
425
00:15:59,442 --> 00:16:03,242
Uh, this is George.
426
00:16:03,275 --> 00:16:04,908
Would you mind
if he watched
427
00:16:04,942 --> 00:16:06,342
Breakfast at Tiffany's
with us?
428
00:16:11,542 --> 00:16:12,508
CARL:
Hi.
429
00:16:12,542 --> 00:16:14,575
Hi.
430
00:16:14,608 --> 00:16:15,575
I missed you.
431
00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:16,742
Oh, I missed you.
432
00:16:16,775 --> 00:16:17,742
I don't remember
433
00:16:17,775 --> 00:16:19,008
the last time
I felt this way.
434
00:16:19,042 --> 00:16:20,508
Me either.
435
00:16:20,542 --> 00:16:21,875
I think about you
all the time.
436
00:16:21,908 --> 00:16:23,642
You do?
Do you think about me?
437
00:16:23,675 --> 00:16:25,242
Oh, yeah,
all the time.
438
00:16:25,275 --> 00:16:27,075
All the time.
439
00:16:27,108 --> 00:16:29,975
Although...recently
I've been thinking
440
00:16:30,008 --> 00:16:31,808
about this friend
of mine.
441
00:16:31,842 --> 00:16:33,375
What friend?
442
00:16:33,408 --> 00:16:35,542
Oh, just this woman.
443
00:16:35,575 --> 00:16:36,508
She got impregnated
444
00:16:36,542 --> 00:16:38,246
by her troglodytic
half-brother
445
00:16:38,246 --> 00:16:39,475
by her troglodytic
half-brother
446
00:16:39,508 --> 00:16:41,375
and decided
to have an abortion.
447
00:16:45,908 --> 00:16:47,875
You know, someday
we're gonna get
448
00:16:47,908 --> 00:16:49,375
enough people
in the Supreme Court
449
00:16:49,408 --> 00:16:50,908
to change that law.
450
00:16:57,742 --> 00:16:59,908
So anything to,
uh, nosh?
451
00:17:05,042 --> 00:17:06,042
What did you want?
452
00:17:07,408 --> 00:17:08,246
Popcorn.
453
00:17:08,246 --> 00:17:09,008
Popcorn.
454
00:17:09,042 --> 00:17:10,308
Popcorn?
455
00:17:10,342 --> 00:17:12,575
Where do you think
you are?
456
00:17:12,608 --> 00:17:14,575
Well, a lot of people
keep popcorn in the house.
457
00:17:14,608 --> 00:17:15,942
Well, we don't.
458
00:17:20,008 --> 00:17:22,342
You might wanna try it.
459
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:24,208
Makes the movie more enjoyable,
that's all.
460
00:17:24,242 --> 00:17:25,508
Here's some
nuts.
461
00:17:25,542 --> 00:17:27,208
Oh, nuts!
Excellent.
462
00:17:28,775 --> 00:17:29,842
You know
what I love?
463
00:17:29,875 --> 00:17:32,008
How there's two nuts
named after people.
464
00:17:32,042 --> 00:17:34,342
Hazel and filbert.
465
00:17:36,708 --> 00:17:38,246
Can we watch
the movie now, Daddy?
466
00:17:38,246 --> 00:17:38,875
Can we watch
the movie now, Daddy?
467
00:17:39,842 --> 00:17:41,175
Hey, let's turn off
the lights,
468
00:17:41,208 --> 00:17:43,342
get some real
movie atmosphere.
469
00:17:43,375 --> 00:17:44,908
The lights
are fine.
470
00:17:48,208 --> 00:17:49,842
KRAMER:
See, everybody can do this.
471
00:17:49,875 --> 00:17:51,375
Yeah.
472
00:17:51,408 --> 00:17:53,408
No, no,
use your wrist.
473
00:17:53,442 --> 00:17:54,808
It's all
in the wrist.
474
00:17:54,842 --> 00:17:55,808
Oh, yeah.
Whoa!
475
00:17:55,842 --> 00:17:56,842
Not too high!
476
00:17:56,875 --> 00:17:57,842
Aha, yeah.
477
00:17:57,875 --> 00:17:59,642
Very good.
That's very good.
478
00:17:59,675 --> 00:18:00,908
All right.
479
00:18:00,942 --> 00:18:03,342
Sauce on here.
480
00:18:03,375 --> 00:18:05,342
[MUMBLES IN ITALIAN]
481
00:18:07,508 --> 00:18:08,246
Some cheese.
482
00:18:08,246 --> 00:18:08,542
Some cheese.
483
00:18:08,575 --> 00:18:10,475
Not too much.
484
00:18:10,508 --> 00:18:13,475
And...cucumbers.
485
00:18:13,508 --> 00:18:15,342
Wait a second.
What is that?
486
00:18:15,375 --> 00:18:17,175
It's cucumbers.
No, no, no.
487
00:18:17,208 --> 00:18:18,975
You can't put
cucumbers on pizza.
488
00:18:19,008 --> 00:18:20,708
Well, why not?
I like cucumbers.
489
00:18:20,742 --> 00:18:21,708
That's not a pizza.
490
00:18:21,742 --> 00:18:23,308
It'll taste terrible.
491
00:18:23,342 --> 00:18:25,542
Yeah, but that's the idea.
You make your own pie.
492
00:18:25,575 --> 00:18:28,242
Yes, but we cannot
give the people
493
00:18:28,275 --> 00:18:31,342
the right to choose
any topping they want.
494
00:18:31,375 --> 00:18:33,575
Now, on this issue,
there can be no debate.
495
00:18:33,608 --> 00:18:35,042
What gives you the right
to tell me
496
00:18:35,075 --> 00:18:36,042
how I would make my pie?
497
00:18:36,075 --> 00:18:37,508
Because it's a pizza!
498
00:18:37,542 --> 00:18:38,246
It's not a pizza till it
comes out of the oven.
499
00:18:38,246 --> 00:18:39,975
It's not a pizza till it
comes out of the oven.
500
00:18:40,008 --> 00:18:41,308
It's a pizza the moment
501
00:18:41,342 --> 00:18:42,842
you put your fists
in the dough.
502
00:18:42,875 --> 00:18:43,808
No, it isn't.
503
00:18:43,842 --> 00:18:44,842
Yes, it is.
504
00:18:44,875 --> 00:18:48,675
["MOON RIVER" PLAYS
ON TELEVISION]
505
00:18:53,708 --> 00:18:54,708
I'm home.
506
00:18:54,742 --> 00:18:56,342
Hey, honey.
Hi, Mom.
507
00:18:56,375 --> 00:18:57,642
Hi, baby.
508
00:18:57,675 --> 00:18:58,675
Hello.
509
00:19:02,608 --> 00:19:03,808
Breakfastat Tiffany's?
510
00:19:03,842 --> 00:19:05,075
Yeah.
511
00:19:05,108 --> 00:19:06,742
Well, I just came
back from Angela's.
512
00:19:06,775 --> 00:19:08,246
It's not looking
very good for Duncan.
513
00:19:08,246 --> 00:19:08,408
It's not looking
very good for Duncan.
514
00:19:08,442 --> 00:19:10,175
Oh, that's
too bad.
515
00:19:10,208 --> 00:19:12,342
Yeah, the doctor thinks
it's just a matter of time.
516
00:19:12,375 --> 00:19:13,375
GEORGE:
Ahem.
517
00:19:16,442 --> 00:19:17,408
Joe...
518
00:19:17,442 --> 00:19:18,675
Could you?
519
00:19:19,442 --> 00:19:20,508
Poor guy.
520
00:19:20,542 --> 00:19:22,308
I hate to see him
suffer like this.
521
00:19:22,342 --> 00:19:23,308
Yeah.
522
00:19:23,342 --> 00:19:24,575
I'm-- I'm sorry.
523
00:19:24,608 --> 00:19:26,175
I hate to be
one of those people,
524
00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:28,708
but we're right in the middle
of this thing.
525
00:19:28,742 --> 00:19:30,542
I can't hear.
526
00:19:30,575 --> 00:19:31,908
Who are you?
527
00:19:33,408 --> 00:19:35,175
This is
George Costanza.
528
00:19:35,208 --> 00:19:38,008
It's just very hard to follow
with all the talking.
529
00:19:39,742 --> 00:19:41,575
I'll pause it,
okay?
530
00:19:44,342 --> 00:19:45,508
Any more
grape juice?
531
00:19:49,608 --> 00:19:51,175
Who is this guy?
532
00:19:51,208 --> 00:19:52,708
He's in some
book club.
533
00:19:52,742 --> 00:19:54,242
And what's
he doing here?
534
00:19:54,275 --> 00:19:55,842
Cheating on his test.
535
00:19:58,075 --> 00:19:59,675
[HUMMING "MOON RIVER"]
536
00:19:59,708 --> 00:20:01,175
So, uh, are we
watching the movie,
537
00:20:01,208 --> 00:20:02,242
or are we
still talking?
538
00:20:04,708 --> 00:20:07,008
Okay, come on,
let's go.
539
00:20:07,042 --> 00:20:08,246
What?
540
00:20:08,246 --> 00:20:08,842
What?
541
00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,042
Come on,
you took my seat.
542
00:20:10,075 --> 00:20:11,975
It's not your seat.
543
00:20:12,008 --> 00:20:14,475
I was-- I was
sitting there, come on.
544
00:20:14,508 --> 00:20:16,408
You didn't save it.
545
00:20:18,042 --> 00:20:19,008
I had the arm.
546
00:20:19,042 --> 00:20:20,008
Joe?
547
00:20:20,042 --> 00:20:21,508
What's the difference?
548
00:20:21,542 --> 00:20:22,908
Well, I was
very comfortable.
549
00:20:22,942 --> 00:20:24,542
I've got
my nuts here.
550
00:20:24,575 --> 00:20:25,842
It's my couch.
551
00:20:27,408 --> 00:20:29,175
All right, come on,
come on, scootch over.
552
00:20:29,208 --> 00:20:30,675
Wait.
553
00:20:30,708 --> 00:20:32,342
Daddy,
make him move!
554
00:20:32,375 --> 00:20:33,442
Oh!
555
00:20:36,442 --> 00:20:38,246
Look!
Look what you did!
556
00:20:38,246 --> 00:20:38,675
Look!
Look what you did!
557
00:20:38,708 --> 00:20:40,408
You got grape juice
all over our couch.
558
00:20:40,442 --> 00:20:43,508
You ruined our couch!
559
00:20:43,542 --> 00:20:45,042
Joe.
560
00:20:49,375 --> 00:20:50,475
Oh, my God.
561
00:20:50,508 --> 00:20:53,342
You see?
562
00:20:53,375 --> 00:20:55,142
So, are you gonna get
a new couch?
563
00:20:55,175 --> 00:20:56,808
Well, I guess
I have no choice.
564
00:20:56,842 --> 00:20:58,908
What-- Do you want
your old couch back?
565
00:20:58,942 --> 00:21:00,042
I was hoping you'd offer.
566
00:21:02,675 --> 00:21:03,708
Yeah?
567
00:21:03,742 --> 00:21:04,708
CARL:
It's the movers.
568
00:21:04,742 --> 00:21:05,708
Okay.
569
00:21:05,742 --> 00:21:06,842
Who's that?
570
00:21:06,875 --> 00:21:08,246
Your boyfriend,
he's taking it out.
571
00:21:08,246 --> 00:21:08,475
Your boyfriend,
he's taking it out.
572
00:21:08,508 --> 00:21:09,742
No, he's not
my boyfriend.
573
00:21:09,775 --> 00:21:11,308
Why?
574
00:21:11,342 --> 00:21:12,675
Take a guess.
575
00:21:13,842 --> 00:21:14,808
Oh, really.
576
00:21:14,842 --> 00:21:16,675
Uh-huh.
Ha, ha, ha.
577
00:21:18,242 --> 00:21:19,542
Hi.
Hi.
578
00:21:19,575 --> 00:21:20,808
Hey, Carl,
I also need you
579
00:21:20,842 --> 00:21:21,808
to go to Elaine's
580
00:21:21,842 --> 00:21:23,208
and bring
my old couch back.
581
00:21:23,242 --> 00:21:24,542
Today?
Could you?
582
00:21:24,575 --> 00:21:25,808
Sure.
583
00:21:25,842 --> 00:21:27,308
What are you doing
with this couch?
584
00:21:27,342 --> 00:21:28,342
George
is taking it.
585
00:21:29,842 --> 00:21:32,675
Did you tell him
it was peed on?
586
00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:33,742
He said
he doesn't care.
587
00:21:33,775 --> 00:21:35,742
He'll just
turn the cushion over.
588
00:21:37,242 --> 00:21:38,246
CARL:
I'm sorry you feel
that way, Elaine.
589
00:21:38,246 --> 00:21:39,142
CARL:
I'm sorry you feel
that way, Elaine.
590
00:21:39,175 --> 00:21:41,075
Yeah, me too.
591
00:21:41,108 --> 00:21:42,508
It's just too bad.
592
00:21:42,542 --> 00:21:44,142
Yeah, it is.
593
00:21:44,175 --> 00:21:46,708
Well, I better
get this couch
594
00:21:46,742 --> 00:21:48,042
back to Jerry's.
595
00:21:48,075 --> 00:21:50,208
Can I offer you
anything to drink?
596
00:21:50,242 --> 00:21:51,975
Yeah, sure.
597
00:21:52,008 --> 00:21:54,242
Oh, all I've got
is grape juice.
598
00:21:54,275 --> 00:21:55,375
Throw it.
599
00:21:56,442 --> 00:21:57,408
[GLASS SHATTERS]
600
00:21:57,442 --> 00:21:58,575
The couch!
601
00:22:09,954 --> 00:22:11,354
She didn't want
the constraints
602
00:22:11,388 --> 00:22:12,421
of any relationship.
603
00:22:12,454 --> 00:22:14,254
That's why she got rid
of the cat.
604
00:22:14,288 --> 00:22:16,054
The most important thing
in Holly's life
605
00:22:16,088 --> 00:22:19,021
was her independence.
606
00:22:19,054 --> 00:22:20,688
Well,
not really.
607
00:22:20,721 --> 00:22:22,054
After all, she did
get together
608
00:22:22,088 --> 00:22:23,088
with George Peppard.
609
00:22:26,921 --> 00:22:27,921
I mean, Fred.
610
00:22:29,288 --> 00:22:31,688
George,
Fred's gay.
40434
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