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1
00:00:01,566 --> 00:00:04,033
The thing I admire most
about the Chinese
2
00:00:04,066 --> 00:00:06,700
is that they're hanging
in there with the chopsticks.
3
00:00:06,733 --> 00:00:08,033
Because, if you think about it,
4
00:00:08,066 --> 00:00:11,033
you know they've seen
the fork by now.
5
00:00:11,066 --> 00:00:12,533
I'm sure they've seen the spoon.
6
00:00:12,566 --> 00:00:16,300
They're going,
"Yah...they're okay.
7
00:00:16,333 --> 00:00:17,900
We're gonna stay
with the sticks."
8
00:00:19,433 --> 00:00:21,466
I mean, I don't know
how they missed it.
9
00:00:21,500 --> 00:00:24,333
Thousands of years ago,
a Chinese farmer gets up,
10
00:00:24,366 --> 00:00:26,000
has his breakfast
with the chopstick,
11
00:00:26,033 --> 00:00:29,200
goes out and works all day
in the field with a shovel.
12
00:00:30,233 --> 00:00:31,833
Hello?
13
00:00:31,866 --> 00:00:32,866
Shovel?
14
00:00:34,533 --> 00:00:36,366
Not going out there
plowing 40 acres
15
00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:37,866
with a couple of pool cues.
16
00:00:44,700 --> 00:00:46,333
Good shave today.
17
00:00:46,366 --> 00:00:48,233
Don't worry, Jerry,
I can manage these bags.
18
00:00:48,266 --> 00:00:49,900
Really, I'm fine.
19
00:00:49,933 --> 00:00:51,866
I think I'll let my side burns
grow in a little.
20
00:00:51,900 --> 00:00:53,366
Can we rest here a second?
21
00:00:54,433 --> 00:00:55,700
Yeah, I guess.
22
00:00:58,366 --> 00:00:59,500
So, how's Noreen?
23
00:00:59,533 --> 00:01:01,166
She got a new
boyfriend: Paul.
24
00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:03,000
Already?
That was fast.
25
00:01:03,033 --> 00:01:04,700
I assume he's not
a high talker?
26
00:01:04,733 --> 00:01:07,800
No, but he has
the worst habit.
27
00:01:07,833 --> 00:01:10,300
Whenever he answers the phone,
he won't put Noreen right on.
28
00:01:10,333 --> 00:01:10,415
You go through, like,
10 minutes of chitchat.
29
00:01:10,415 --> 00:01:12,500
You go through, like,
10 minutes of chitchat.
30
00:01:12,533 --> 00:01:13,500
A long talker.
31
00:01:13,533 --> 00:01:15,000
Yes.
32
00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:17,333
He is so boring
33
00:01:17,366 --> 00:01:19,800
that now, whenever he answers
the phone, I just hang up.
34
00:01:19,833 --> 00:01:21,033
All right, let's move it out.
35
00:01:24,833 --> 00:01:27,300
Hey, isn't that
George's father?
36
00:01:27,333 --> 00:01:28,633
ELAINE:
Oh, yeah, it is.
37
00:01:28,666 --> 00:01:29,966
Should we say hello?
38
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:32,300
I've never seen him
in Manhattan before. It's weird.
39
00:01:32,333 --> 00:01:34,466
It's so out of context.
40
00:01:34,500 --> 00:01:38,400
That man he's with...
Is he wearing a cape?
41
00:01:39,666 --> 00:01:40,415
I believe he is
wearing a cape.
42
00:01:40,415 --> 00:01:41,666
I believe he is
wearing a cape.
43
00:01:43,833 --> 00:01:47,133
Why is Mr. Costanza
with a man in a cape?
44
00:01:47,166 --> 00:01:50,666
Well, it is good cape
weather, cool, breezy.
45
00:01:50,700 --> 00:01:51,733
Why a cape?
46
00:01:51,766 --> 00:01:53,400
Who wears a cape?
47
00:01:53,433 --> 00:01:55,800
Where do you even
get a cape?
48
00:01:55,833 --> 00:01:57,666
You're right.
It is strange.
49
00:01:57,700 --> 00:02:00,633
In fact, let's cross to
the other side of the street.
50
00:02:00,666 --> 00:02:01,766
Cover me.
51
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:10,415
Just plop it
on the counter there.
52
00:02:10,415 --> 00:02:12,200
Just plop it
on the counter there.
53
00:02:14,933 --> 00:02:16,033
Oh, I got a message.
54
00:02:20,333 --> 00:02:22,066
GEORGE:
Hey. It's George.
55
00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:23,066
I got nothing to say.
56
00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:25,566
[BEEPS]
57
00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:27,800
That sounds urgent.
58
00:02:27,833 --> 00:02:28,833
Let me call him back.
59
00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:32,466
Hello?
60
00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:34,033
Who is this?
61
00:02:34,066 --> 00:02:35,533
Donna Chang?
62
00:02:35,566 --> 00:02:36,533
Oh, I'm sorry.
63
00:02:36,566 --> 00:02:38,366
I must have dialed
the wrong number.
64
00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:39,566
Donna Chang?
65
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:40,415
I should've talked.
I love Chinese women.
66
00:02:40,415 --> 00:02:41,466
I should've talked.
I love Chinese women.
67
00:02:41,500 --> 00:02:43,733
Isn't that a little racist?
68
00:02:43,766 --> 00:02:48,100
If I like their race,
how can that be racist?
69
00:02:50,900 --> 00:02:54,866
Hello? Is this
Donna Chang again?
70
00:02:54,900 --> 00:02:57,366
Yes, I am calling George.
71
00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:58,900
Oh, the lines are crossed.
72
00:02:58,933 --> 00:03:00,366
You're getting his calls.
73
00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:01,833
Well, what do you know?
74
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:04,400
So listen...
75
00:03:04,433 --> 00:03:06,333
I'm going through
this stuff like water.
76
00:03:08,733 --> 00:03:09,666
Who you talking to?
77
00:03:09,700 --> 00:03:10,415
He's on with
a Chinese woman.
78
00:03:10,415 --> 00:03:11,166
He's on with
a Chinese woman.
79
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:16,333
Ooh, ooh, I dig
Asian women.
80
00:03:16,366 --> 00:03:18,200
You got a comfort
problem there?
81
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,366
No, I think these
Jockeys shrunk.
82
00:03:22,700 --> 00:03:24,166
I thought you wore
silk underwear?
83
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:26,333
No... Well, you know,
I wore them for about a month,
84
00:03:26,366 --> 00:03:27,533
but I couldn't
stick with it.
85
00:03:27,566 --> 00:03:29,733
I need the secure
packaging of Jockeys.
86
00:03:31,866 --> 00:03:33,533
My boys need a house.
87
00:03:39,033 --> 00:03:40,415
That's nice.
88
00:03:40,415 --> 00:03:40,533
That's nice.
89
00:03:42,033 --> 00:03:44,000
Kramer, you know, if you
ever want to have kids,
90
00:03:44,033 --> 00:03:45,200
you shouldn't wear briefs.
91
00:03:45,233 --> 00:03:46,900
Boxers are better
for your sperm count.
92
00:03:46,933 --> 00:03:49,166
Sperm count?
93
00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:51,466
Well, how many sperm
should I have?
94
00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:52,500
A lot.
95
00:03:54,033 --> 00:03:55,866
JERRY:
I got a date.
96
00:03:55,900 --> 00:03:56,966
With the Chinese
woman?
97
00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:57,966
She knew who I was.
98
00:03:58,000 --> 00:03:59,833
She saw me
at a club one time.
99
00:03:59,866 --> 00:04:01,966
My first date ever
with the Pacific Rim.
100
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,633
I'm very excited.
101
00:04:03,666 --> 00:04:06,700
Jerry, you ever have
your sperm count checked?
102
00:04:06,733 --> 00:04:08,400
No, why should I?
I wear boxers.
103
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:11,800
You ever get
a woman pregnant?
104
00:04:11,833 --> 00:04:15,000
I'm sorry, Kramer, those records
are permanently sealed.
105
00:04:15,033 --> 00:04:18,800
What would you say if I told you
I never impregnated a woman.
106
00:04:18,833 --> 00:04:20,200
Really?
107
00:04:20,233 --> 00:04:23,000
You never slipped one fast past
the goalie in all these years?
108
00:04:25,166 --> 00:04:27,300
I'm surprised. You've slept
with a lot of women.
109
00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:28,333
A lot of women!
110
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:34,566
You think maybe I'm...depleted?
111
00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:37,233
I'm sure you're not
totally depleted.
112
00:04:37,266 --> 00:04:38,500
Yeah, but what if I am?
113
00:04:38,533 --> 00:04:40,333
I'm the last male Kramer.
114
00:04:40,366 --> 00:04:40,415
We're facing extinction.
115
00:04:40,415 --> 00:04:42,133
We're facing extinction.
116
00:04:42,166 --> 00:04:43,333
Go to a fertility clinic.
117
00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:44,666
Have your sperm count checked.
118
00:04:44,700 --> 00:04:47,566
Yeah, but then I'd have to--
Well, you know...
119
00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:50,400
Into a cup,
in the middle of the day.
120
00:04:50,433 --> 00:04:52,533
Does that conflict
with your regular schedule?
121
00:04:57,766 --> 00:04:59,900
All right, I'm gonna
try Noreen again.
122
00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:01,966
I am very excited
about this date.
123
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,833
We're going
to Hunan Balcony.
124
00:05:03,866 --> 00:05:06,966
She's Chinese, so you
suggest Chinese food?
125
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:08,333
She suggested it.
126
00:05:08,366 --> 00:05:09,900
I thought Chinese
don't eat Chinese.
127
00:05:09,933 --> 00:05:10,415
She's very
assimilated.
128
00:05:10,415 --> 00:05:11,500
She's very
assimilated.
129
00:05:13,266 --> 00:05:14,266
MAN'S VOICE:
Hello?
130
00:05:16,266 --> 00:05:17,366
Paul again?
131
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,000
You can't get one ring past him.
132
00:05:21,266 --> 00:05:23,533
Hey, hey, you don't
call me back?
133
00:05:23,566 --> 00:05:26,200
I tried. Your line's crossed
with a Chinese woman.
134
00:05:26,233 --> 00:05:27,366
Huh?
135
00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:31,466
George, we saw your father
on the street before.
136
00:05:31,500 --> 00:05:32,933
What's he doing
in the city today?
137
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:35,400
You didn't ask him?
138
00:05:39,066 --> 00:05:40,033
You didn't say hello?
139
00:05:40,066 --> 00:05:40,415
Well, he was
with someone.
140
00:05:40,415 --> 00:05:42,033
Well, he was
with someone.
141
00:05:42,066 --> 00:05:44,900
A man...in a cape.
142
00:05:46,733 --> 00:05:48,333
Why was he wearing a cape?
143
00:05:50,733 --> 00:05:52,433
Was my father wearing a cape?
144
00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:55,866
No. Jacket and tie,
no cape.
145
00:05:55,900 --> 00:05:58,033
Huh.
146
00:05:58,066 --> 00:05:59,233
Cape.
147
00:06:00,700 --> 00:06:04,333
What was a man with a cape
doing with my father?
148
00:06:04,366 --> 00:06:06,600
What was my father doing
with a man in a cape?
149
00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:10,233
Why a cape?
150
00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:20,500
The results of
your sperm test are in.
151
00:06:20,533 --> 00:06:22,333
Oh?
152
00:06:22,366 --> 00:06:24,833
Are you planning
to start a family?
153
00:06:24,866 --> 00:06:28,566
Yes, I would like to very much.
154
00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:30,666
I'm low, aren't I?
I can feel it.
155
00:06:30,700 --> 00:06:32,533
Yes, I'm afraid
you're a little low.
156
00:06:32,566 --> 00:06:34,366
Oh, man.
157
00:06:35,733 --> 00:06:36,700
It's over.
158
00:06:36,733 --> 00:06:37,900
The Kramer name is finished.
159
00:06:37,933 --> 00:06:39,300
I'm never
gonna procreate, huh?
160
00:06:39,333 --> 00:06:40,415
That's not necessarily true.
161
00:06:40,415 --> 00:06:40,800
That's not necessarily true.
162
00:06:40,833 --> 00:06:44,133
There are measures you can take
to improve your fertility.
163
00:06:44,166 --> 00:06:45,300
What? What? You tell me.
164
00:06:45,333 --> 00:06:46,966
I'll do anything.
C'mon, Doc, tell me.
165
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:50,166
First thing, you should
wear boxer shorts.
166
00:06:51,866 --> 00:06:52,833
All the time?
167
00:06:52,866 --> 00:06:54,300
All the time.
168
00:06:54,333 --> 00:06:56,500
You have to get off
Jockeys right away.
169
00:06:56,533 --> 00:06:58,400
But I've always
worn Jockeys.
170
00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:06,800
ELAINE:
Hi, Paul. It's Elaine calling.
171
00:07:06,833 --> 00:07:08,466
Yeah, I'm calling from
a car phone,
172
00:07:08,500 --> 00:07:09,966
So I don't really
have time to talk.
173
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:10,415
Is-- Is, uh, Noreen there?
174
00:07:10,415 --> 00:07:13,000
Is-- Is, uh, Noreen there?
175
00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:14,300
Oh, she's not?
Okay, great.
176
00:07:14,333 --> 00:07:16,166
Well, you can just
tell her I called, then--
177
00:07:18,700 --> 00:07:22,733
Well, yes, it has been
unseasonably cool lately.
178
00:07:25,433 --> 00:07:27,733
Okay, well, look, I'm pulling up
to the building now,
179
00:07:27,766 --> 00:07:28,866
so I'm gonna--
180
00:07:30,266 --> 00:07:32,766
Yeah, I do too.
181
00:07:34,266 --> 00:07:39,900
Um, look, Paul, the car seems
to be running out of gas.
182
00:07:39,933 --> 00:07:40,415
I'm gonna have to
get off the phone.
183
00:07:40,415 --> 00:07:43,266
I'm gonna have to
get off the phone.
184
00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:47,500
Let me know when everyone
has arrived, sir.
185
00:07:47,533 --> 00:07:48,933
Yes, I will.
186
00:07:51,100 --> 00:07:52,066
Do you mind?
187
00:07:52,100 --> 00:07:53,066
No, go ahead.
188
00:07:53,100 --> 00:07:54,600
I secondhand smoke
two packs a day.
189
00:07:56,333 --> 00:07:57,333
Jerry?
190
00:07:59,100 --> 00:08:00,066
Excuse me?
191
00:08:00,100 --> 00:08:02,066
Hi. Sorry
I'm late.
192
00:08:02,100 --> 00:08:03,633
Who are you?
193
00:08:03,666 --> 00:08:04,933
I'm Donna Chang.
194
00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:08,866
What do you mean?
195
00:08:08,900 --> 00:08:10,415
I mean I'm Donna Chang.
196
00:08:10,415 --> 00:08:11,200
I mean I'm Donna Chang.
197
00:08:11,233 --> 00:08:13,533
You're Donna Chang?
198
00:08:13,566 --> 00:08:16,033
Did you think I was Chinese?
199
00:08:16,066 --> 00:08:19,533
Oh, no, because of the Chang?
200
00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:21,900
Actually, the family name
wasn't originally Chang.
201
00:08:21,933 --> 00:08:23,133
I didn't think so.
202
00:08:23,166 --> 00:08:24,233
Used to be Changstein.
203
00:08:27,066 --> 00:08:28,466
ELAINE:
She's not Chinese?
204
00:08:28,500 --> 00:08:30,066
No, not Chinese.
205
00:08:31,166 --> 00:08:33,200
Not even Asian.
206
00:08:33,233 --> 00:08:34,300
So, what is she?
207
00:08:34,333 --> 00:08:36,100
Well, she's...like you.
208
00:08:38,233 --> 00:08:40,415
Oh, how disappointed
you must have been.
209
00:08:40,415 --> 00:08:40,900
Oh, how disappointed
you must have been.
210
00:08:42,066 --> 00:08:43,866
It's false
advertising, see?
211
00:08:43,900 --> 00:08:46,033
And the thing is,
I think she likes
212
00:08:46,066 --> 00:08:47,666
people thinking
she's Chinese.
213
00:08:47,700 --> 00:08:49,500
She suggests
Chinese food.
214
00:08:49,533 --> 00:08:51,900
She always introduces
herself as Donna Chang.
215
00:08:51,933 --> 00:08:53,900
So then why are you
seeing her again?
216
00:08:53,933 --> 00:08:56,233
Well, she is a woman.
217
00:08:56,266 --> 00:08:59,666
I spoke to Paul and Noreen.
They might be breaking up.
218
00:08:59,700 --> 00:09:01,000
Really?
219
00:09:01,033 --> 00:09:02,066
Well, maybe.
220
00:09:03,866 --> 00:09:06,366
Wouldn't it be funny if
Paul and Noreen broke up
221
00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:08,200
because you kept
hanging up on him?
222
00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:10,415
What do you mean?
223
00:09:10,415 --> 00:09:10,700
What do you mean?
224
00:09:10,733 --> 00:09:13,400
You know, if Paul thought
it was some guy hanging up
225
00:09:13,433 --> 00:09:15,533
because he was having
an affair with Noreen.
226
00:09:20,033 --> 00:09:21,333
Here, take
my Jockey shorts.
227
00:09:21,366 --> 00:09:22,433
Whoa!
Get outta here!
228
00:09:24,433 --> 00:09:27,300
You gotta help me. I have
to get off Jockey shorts.
229
00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:28,333
Low sperm count?
230
00:09:28,366 --> 00:09:29,966
Very low.
231
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,000
C'mon, Jerry,
take them.
232
00:09:31,033 --> 00:09:32,133
No, no, I don't
want them.
233
00:09:32,166 --> 00:09:33,466
Jerry, you gotta
help me.
234
00:09:33,500 --> 00:09:35,533
If I have one pair in
my house, I'll wear them!
235
00:09:35,566 --> 00:09:36,633
Look, I don't
want them.
236
00:09:36,666 --> 00:09:38,000
All it takes is one pair!
237
00:09:38,033 --> 00:09:40,415
I won't be able to sleep
if those are in the house.
238
00:09:40,415 --> 00:09:40,833
I won't be able to sleep
if those are in the house.
239
00:09:40,866 --> 00:09:41,833
These boxers!
240
00:09:41,866 --> 00:09:43,166
How do you wear
these things?
241
00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:45,800
They're bagging up.
they're rising here.
242
00:09:45,833 --> 00:09:47,533
And there's nothing
holding me in place.
243
00:09:47,566 --> 00:09:49,000
I'm flipping!
I'm flopping!
244
00:09:51,833 --> 00:09:53,466
What am I gonna do?
245
00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:55,666
Jerry, I'm going crazy
in these things.
246
00:10:02,700 --> 00:10:04,500
Well, I'm gonna
have to move now.
247
00:10:07,533 --> 00:10:09,500
FRANK:
You know what I like
about Manhattan?
248
00:10:09,533 --> 00:10:10,415
There's no mosquitoes.
249
00:10:10,415 --> 00:10:11,766
There's no mosquitoes.
250
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:13,700
Plenty of mosquitoes.
251
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:16,733
Queens is full of mosquitoes.
252
00:10:16,766 --> 00:10:17,900
So, Dad--
253
00:10:17,933 --> 00:10:20,366
Gnats, too,
if I'm not mistaken.
254
00:10:24,766 --> 00:10:26,733
Dad, I heard you were
in the city the other day.
255
00:10:26,766 --> 00:10:28,933
Your mother has to tell
you every move I make?
256
00:10:32,266 --> 00:10:33,733
Jerry and Elaine saw you.
257
00:10:33,766 --> 00:10:35,233
They didn't say hello?
258
00:10:35,266 --> 00:10:36,233
They were in a rush.
259
00:10:36,266 --> 00:10:38,666
They couldn't
just say hello?!
260
00:10:38,700 --> 00:10:39,833
Ahh, the hell with them.
261
00:10:42,166 --> 00:10:45,400
They said you were with some guy
who was wearing a cape.
262
00:10:45,433 --> 00:10:47,800
Elaine, I could see
not saying hello.
263
00:10:47,833 --> 00:10:49,700
She's very...
what's the word?
264
00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:50,733
Supercilious.
265
00:10:51,266 --> 00:10:52,233
So, Dad--
266
00:10:52,266 --> 00:10:55,233
How could Jerry
not say hello?!
267
00:10:59,233 --> 00:11:00,533
Did they uncross
the lines yet?
268
00:11:00,566 --> 00:11:02,033
No, they can't
find the problem.
269
00:11:02,066 --> 00:11:03,666
It's really
getting ridicurous.
270
00:11:25,233 --> 00:11:26,766
Did you say "ridicurous"?
271
00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:29,400
Ridiculous.
272
00:11:31,566 --> 00:11:35,533
I thought you said...
ridicurous.
273
00:11:39,033 --> 00:11:40,415
What are you
doing here?
274
00:11:40,415 --> 00:11:40,500
What are you
doing here?
275
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:41,533
Oh, I wanted to talk to you.
276
00:11:41,566 --> 00:11:43,166
Sorry, I didn't know
you had company.
277
00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:44,166
Oh, no, no.
278
00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:45,166
Hi, I'm George.
279
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:48,366
Oh! Hi,
I'm Donna Chang.
280
00:11:50,900 --> 00:11:53,033
I just spoke
to your mother before.
281
00:11:53,700 --> 00:11:54,733
You spoke to my mother?
282
00:11:54,766 --> 00:11:56,900
She was trying
to call you, but--
283
00:11:56,933 --> 00:11:58,900
The rines are crossed?
284
00:12:00,900 --> 00:12:02,866
Did you say "the rines
are crossed?"
285
00:12:03,533 --> 00:12:04,533
Did I?
286
00:12:06,700 --> 00:12:08,000
George, she's so sweet.
287
00:12:08,033 --> 00:12:09,500
We talked for an hour.
288
00:12:09,533 --> 00:12:10,415
Anyway, I'm really sorry.
289
00:12:10,415 --> 00:12:11,500
Anyway, I'm really sorry.
290
00:12:11,533 --> 00:12:12,700
Sorry?
Why sorry?
291
00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:14,133
What do you have
to be sorry about?
292
00:12:14,166 --> 00:12:17,166
Well, she told me she and your
father are getting divorced.
293
00:12:34,269 --> 00:12:35,236
ELAINE:
Boy, divorce.
294
00:12:35,269 --> 00:12:37,436
That's really too bad.
Yeah.
295
00:12:37,469 --> 00:12:40,069
It's a shame his parents didn't
get divorced 30 years ago.
296
00:12:41,569 --> 00:12:44,203
He could have been normal.
297
00:12:44,236 --> 00:12:46,136
GEORGE:
Oh, my God.
298
00:12:47,769 --> 00:12:49,536
You know what
I just realized?
299
00:12:49,569 --> 00:12:52,436
If they get divorced
and live in two separate places,
300
00:12:52,469 --> 00:12:54,703
that's twice as many visits.
301
00:12:54,736 --> 00:12:56,136
I never thought of that.
302
00:12:56,169 --> 00:12:58,636
Imagine if I have to see them
both on the same day.
303
00:12:58,669 --> 00:12:59,999
It's like running
a double marathon.
304
00:12:59,999 --> 00:13:01,469
It's like running
a double marathon.
305
00:13:01,503 --> 00:13:05,869
Hey, Georgie, did you have any
idea that anything was wrong?
306
00:13:05,903 --> 00:13:09,003
Have you ever spent
any time with these people?
307
00:13:11,236 --> 00:13:12,636
You know what this
has to do with?
308
00:13:12,669 --> 00:13:13,636
What?
309
00:13:13,669 --> 00:13:14,636
The man in the cape.
310
00:13:14,669 --> 00:13:16,503
I bet you he is
mixed up in this.
311
00:13:17,836 --> 00:13:19,869
I don't trust men in capes.
312
00:13:19,903 --> 00:13:21,703
You can't cast
aspersions on someone
313
00:13:21,736 --> 00:13:24,069
just because
they're wearing a cape.
314
00:13:24,103 --> 00:13:26,569
Superman wore a cape.
315
00:13:26,603 --> 00:13:28,969
And I'll be dammed
if I'm gonna stand here
316
00:13:29,003 --> 00:13:29,999
and let you say
something bad about him.
317
00:13:29,999 --> 00:13:31,369
and let you say
something bad about him.
318
00:13:31,403 --> 00:13:32,403
All right.
319
00:13:32,436 --> 00:13:34,169
Superman's
the exception.
320
00:13:37,736 --> 00:13:38,936
Oh, hey, Elaine.
321
00:13:38,969 --> 00:13:40,869
I just heard Noreen
and Paul are breaking up.
322
00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:42,636
I want you to put in
a good word for me.
323
00:13:42,669 --> 00:13:44,269
I've always had
a thing for Noreen.
324
00:13:44,303 --> 00:13:45,769
No, Kramer,
you don't understand.
325
00:13:45,803 --> 00:13:47,203
This could be my fault.
326
00:13:47,236 --> 00:13:48,769
Well, if she's available now,
327
00:13:48,803 --> 00:13:51,136
I'm not gonna let her slip
through my fingers this time.
328
00:13:53,903 --> 00:13:56,436
Looks like you've adjusted
to the boxers.
329
00:13:56,469 --> 00:13:58,436
Well, I wouldn't
go as far as that.
330
00:13:58,469 --> 00:13:59,703
You went back to the Jockeys?
331
00:13:59,736 --> 00:13:59,999
Wrong again.
332
00:13:59,999 --> 00:14:00,736
Wrong again.
333
00:14:03,136 --> 00:14:04,136
Oh, no.
334
00:14:08,836 --> 00:14:10,936
What? What?
335
00:14:10,969 --> 00:14:13,869
Don't you see
what's going on here?
336
00:14:13,903 --> 00:14:16,436
No boxers,
no Jockeys.
337
00:14:16,469 --> 00:14:18,469
Ohhh.
338
00:14:20,103 --> 00:14:24,903
The only thing between him and
us is a thin layer of gabardine.
339
00:14:24,936 --> 00:14:26,569
Kramer, say it isn't so.
340
00:14:26,603 --> 00:14:27,603
Oh, it be so.
341
00:14:29,103 --> 00:14:29,999
I'm out there, Jerry, and I'm
loving every minute of it!
342
00:14:29,999 --> 00:14:32,269
I'm out there, Jerry, and I'm
loving every minute of it!
343
00:14:37,269 --> 00:14:39,236
Don't you need
a little help?
344
00:14:39,269 --> 00:14:40,736
Surprisingly, no.
345
00:14:40,769 --> 00:14:42,769
I'm free.
I'm unfettered.
346
00:14:45,503 --> 00:14:48,436
I feel like a naked, innocent
boy roaming the countryside.
347
00:14:51,436 --> 00:14:53,569
So you guys are trying
to work it out? That's great.
348
00:14:53,603 --> 00:14:55,136
Yeah, well,
we're trying.
349
00:14:55,169 --> 00:14:58,069
He just went insane
there for a while.
350
00:14:58,103 --> 00:14:59,736
He went insane?
351
00:14:59,769 --> 00:14:59,999
Believe it or not, Paul was
convinced I was having an affair
352
00:14:59,999 --> 00:15:03,936
Believe it or not, Paul was
convinced I was having an affair
353
00:15:03,969 --> 00:15:05,903
because somebody
kept calling and hanging up
354
00:15:05,936 --> 00:15:08,036
whenever he answered.
355
00:15:08,069 --> 00:15:12,703
What kind of sick person calls
and hangs up over and over?
356
00:15:12,736 --> 00:15:16,936
Well...I don't know about sick.
357
00:15:16,969 --> 00:15:21,603
I mean, maybe it was somebody
who didn't want to talk
358
00:15:21,636 --> 00:15:24,203
to whoever was answering,
because whoever was answering
359
00:15:24,236 --> 00:15:27,869
was always making boring
chitchat and was completely
360
00:15:27,903 --> 00:15:29,999
oblivious to the fact
that the person who was calling
361
00:15:29,999 --> 00:15:30,736
oblivious to the fact
that the person who was calling
362
00:15:30,769 --> 00:15:32,603
didn't want to speak to them.
363
00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:41,269
I can't believe
that was you.
364
00:15:41,303 --> 00:15:43,636
I'm really sorry,
Noreen.
365
00:15:43,669 --> 00:15:46,969
So, you thought
he was boring?
366
00:15:47,003 --> 00:15:49,336
Hey, Noreen,
don't go by me.
367
00:15:53,003 --> 00:15:55,136
JERRY:
What are you
doing to this woman?
368
00:15:55,169 --> 00:15:57,469
This is the second relationship
you've ruined for her
369
00:15:57,503 --> 00:15:59,703
in a few weeks.
370
00:15:59,736 --> 00:15:59,999
I know.
371
00:15:59,999 --> 00:16:00,969
I know.
372
00:16:01,003 --> 00:16:03,136
You ruin her relationship
with the high talker.
373
00:16:03,169 --> 00:16:04,803
I got confused.
374
00:16:04,836 --> 00:16:06,636
They sound
exactly the same.
375
00:16:06,669 --> 00:16:08,203
So she breaks up with him,
376
00:16:08,236 --> 00:16:10,703
somehow picks up
the pieces of her life.
377
00:16:10,736 --> 00:16:14,669
Miraculously, meets a new guy.
You bust that up.
378
00:16:16,403 --> 00:16:19,069
And then,
just as their reconciling,
379
00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:22,736
you announce to the world:
"He's boring."
380
00:16:24,736 --> 00:16:26,769
I didn't know
she'd take it so seriously.
381
00:16:26,803 --> 00:16:29,303
Apparently, you have tremendous
influence over this woman.
382
00:16:29,336 --> 00:16:29,999
Anything you say, she does.
383
00:16:29,999 --> 00:16:30,969
Anything you say, she does.
384
00:16:31,003 --> 00:16:32,236
[BUZZ]
385
00:16:33,503 --> 00:16:34,536
Yeah.
386
00:16:34,569 --> 00:16:35,636
DONNA:
It's Donna Chang.
387
00:16:35,669 --> 00:16:36,769
Come on up.
388
00:16:36,803 --> 00:16:39,269
I guess I just
didn't realize it.
389
00:16:39,303 --> 00:16:42,603
Well, let's look back at your
history with this woman, okay?
390
00:16:42,636 --> 00:16:43,969
Okay.
391
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:47,403
First, you encouraged her
to join the Army.
392
00:16:49,636 --> 00:16:50,936
She did.
393
00:16:50,969 --> 00:16:52,769
She was lost.
394
00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:56,103
Then you suggest
she goes AWOL.
395
00:16:56,136 --> 00:16:58,869
She did.
396
00:16:58,903 --> 00:16:59,999
Well, she didn't seem
to be having so much fun.
397
00:16:59,999 --> 00:17:01,603
Well, she didn't seem
to be having so much fun.
398
00:17:01,636 --> 00:17:04,603
You better never tell this woman
to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge.
399
00:17:04,636 --> 00:17:06,303
If I have this much
influence over her,
400
00:17:06,336 --> 00:17:07,903
why don't I just
call her and tell her
401
00:17:07,936 --> 00:17:09,736
to get back together
with him. That's all.
402
00:17:09,769 --> 00:17:10,736
Hey.
403
00:17:10,769 --> 00:17:13,236
Miss Changstein!
This is Elaine.
404
00:17:13,269 --> 00:17:15,069
Hi, how are you?
Hello.
405
00:17:15,103 --> 00:17:16,469
Guess what?
406
00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:19,069
Mrs. Costanza called me.
They're not getting divorced.
407
00:17:19,103 --> 00:17:20,236
Why?
What happened?
408
00:17:20,269 --> 00:17:22,236
Well, she was trying to call
George last night.
409
00:17:22,269 --> 00:17:25,069
She got me. We spoke
for an hour, and she
changed her mind.
410
00:17:25,103 --> 00:17:26,903
Wow, that's amazing.
411
00:17:26,936 --> 00:17:27,903
She wants to meet me.
412
00:17:27,936 --> 00:17:29,236
She invited me over
for dinner.
413
00:17:29,269 --> 00:17:29,999
She said you
should come too.
414
00:17:29,999 --> 00:17:30,569
She said you
should come too.
415
00:17:30,603 --> 00:17:31,903
Tonight?
Yeah.
416
00:17:31,936 --> 00:17:33,736
I just remembered.
I'm gonna have to cancel
417
00:17:33,769 --> 00:17:35,103
my acupuncture class.
418
00:17:44,103 --> 00:17:46,403
All right, let me
just say one thing.
419
00:17:46,436 --> 00:17:48,703
There is no way that this
is gonna happen, you hear me?
420
00:17:48,736 --> 00:17:51,236
No way! Because if you think
I'm going to two Thanksgivings,
421
00:17:51,269 --> 00:17:53,203
you're out of your mind!
422
00:17:53,236 --> 00:17:54,703
We're not getting divorced.
423
00:17:54,736 --> 00:17:56,536
Your mother changed her mind.
424
00:17:56,569 --> 00:17:59,869
You did? That's good.
That's very good.
425
00:17:59,903 --> 00:17:59,999
I'm very glad
to hear that.
426
00:17:59,999 --> 00:18:01,536
I'm very glad
to hear that.
427
00:18:01,569 --> 00:18:02,536
We worked it out.
428
00:18:02,569 --> 00:18:03,903
So let me ask you a question.
429
00:18:03,936 --> 00:18:05,769
Who was the man in the cape?
430
00:18:05,803 --> 00:18:06,869
He was my lawyer.
431
00:18:06,903 --> 00:18:09,203
Your lawyer wears a cape?
432
00:18:09,236 --> 00:18:11,036
Yeah.
So what?
433
00:18:11,069 --> 00:18:12,436
Who wears a cape?
434
00:18:12,469 --> 00:18:14,036
He's very independent.
435
00:18:14,069 --> 00:18:15,303
Doesn't follow the trends.
436
00:18:16,269 --> 00:18:18,703
He looks ridiculous
in that thing.
437
00:18:18,736 --> 00:18:20,203
You have no eye for fashion!
438
00:18:20,236 --> 00:18:21,769
I have no
eye for fashion?!
439
00:18:21,803 --> 00:18:23,736
All right, come on.
440
00:18:25,469 --> 00:18:26,536
Let's not fight.
441
00:18:26,569 --> 00:18:28,403
All right, all right.
442
00:18:28,436 --> 00:18:29,769
Georgie's right.
443
00:18:31,669 --> 00:18:33,636
So, what made you
change your mind?
444
00:18:33,669 --> 00:18:36,936
It was that
Chinese woman.
445
00:18:38,836 --> 00:18:40,636
I'm curious, what did
you tell Mrs. Costanza
446
00:18:40,669 --> 00:18:41,803
that changed her mind?
447
00:18:41,836 --> 00:18:44,736
Mentioned a few bits
of wisdom from Confucius.
448
00:18:44,769 --> 00:18:47,803
Confucius, huh?
Yeah.
449
00:18:47,836 --> 00:18:49,836
You know,
you're not Chinese.
450
00:18:54,903 --> 00:18:56,369
Hey, I heard the good news.
451
00:18:56,403 --> 00:18:59,969
Jerry, how come you didn't
say hello to me the other day?
452
00:19:00,003 --> 00:19:01,969
Oh, Elaine was in a rush.
453
00:19:02,003 --> 00:19:03,336
I knew it was Elaine!
454
00:19:04,669 --> 00:19:06,369
You must be Estelle.
455
00:19:06,403 --> 00:19:08,136
Yes.
Who are you?
456
00:19:08,169 --> 00:19:09,469
I'm Donna Chang.
457
00:19:09,503 --> 00:19:11,836
You're not Chinese.
458
00:19:12,969 --> 00:19:15,769
[PHONE RINGING]
459
00:19:15,803 --> 00:19:17,103
Yello.
460
00:19:17,136 --> 00:19:18,103
Paul?
461
00:19:18,136 --> 00:19:19,103
Elaine.
462
00:19:19,136 --> 00:19:21,269
Kramer?
463
00:19:21,303 --> 00:19:22,336
Yeah.
464
00:19:24,803 --> 00:19:26,103
What are you doing there?
465
00:19:26,136 --> 00:19:27,869
Well, isn't it obvious?
466
00:19:27,903 --> 00:19:29,999
Ugh. Is Noreen there?
467
00:19:29,999 --> 00:19:30,969
Ugh. Is Noreen there?
468
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,203
Yes, she is.
469
00:19:33,236 --> 00:19:35,936
Well, can I talk to her?
470
00:19:35,969 --> 00:19:38,436
Oh, why?
Am I too boring?
471
00:19:38,469 --> 00:19:40,936
All right, would you
just put her on?
472
00:19:40,969 --> 00:19:43,036
Well, I feel it would
be best you didn't talk
473
00:19:43,069 --> 00:19:44,369
to Noreen for a while.
474
00:19:44,403 --> 00:19:45,436
You feel?
475
00:19:45,469 --> 00:19:46,436
That's right.
476
00:19:46,469 --> 00:19:49,103
She and I have had
a very long talk.
477
00:19:49,136 --> 00:19:51,869
And I was appalled to learn
of the destructive influence
478
00:19:51,903 --> 00:19:56,069
you've had over her life
these many years.
479
00:19:56,103 --> 00:19:57,403
What, are you insane?
480
00:19:57,436 --> 00:19:59,999
From now on, I'll be calling
the shots around here.
481
00:19:59,999 --> 00:20:00,136
From now on, I'll be calling
the shots around here.
482
00:20:00,169 --> 00:20:02,636
Oh-ho-ho! And what are you
gonna tell her?
483
00:20:02,669 --> 00:20:06,736
Well, I've encouraged her
to go back into the Army.
484
00:20:06,769 --> 00:20:08,903
There she'll get
the structure and discipline
485
00:20:08,936 --> 00:20:10,403
she needs right now.
486
00:20:10,436 --> 00:20:12,736
And she'll havequalified officers
487
00:20:12,769 --> 00:20:14,803
telling her what to do.
488
00:20:14,836 --> 00:20:18,403
Kramer, you have got
to let me talk to her.
489
00:20:18,436 --> 00:20:19,603
Can't help you, kid.
490
00:20:20,769 --> 00:20:22,569
You're not Chinese?
491
00:20:22,603 --> 00:20:23,569
No.
492
00:20:23,603 --> 00:20:25,303
I thought
you were Chinese.
493
00:20:25,336 --> 00:20:26,403
I'm from Long Island.
494
00:20:26,436 --> 00:20:28,236
Long Island?
495
00:20:28,269 --> 00:20:29,999
I thought I was getting
advice from a Chinese woman.
496
00:20:29,999 --> 00:20:31,569
I thought I was getting
advice from a Chinese woman.
497
00:20:31,603 --> 00:20:32,736
I'm sorry.
498
00:20:32,769 --> 00:20:37,203
Well, then...
That changes everything.
499
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,203
What?
500
00:20:38,236 --> 00:20:39,736
She's not Chinese.
501
00:20:39,769 --> 00:20:41,603
I was duped!
502
00:20:42,569 --> 00:20:44,103
So what? She still
gave you advice.
503
00:20:44,136 --> 00:20:46,036
What's the difference
if she's not Chinese?
504
00:20:46,069 --> 00:20:49,869
I'm not taking advice
from some girl from Long Island!
505
00:20:49,903 --> 00:20:51,769
Wait a minute. Now,
you're getting a divorce
506
00:20:51,803 --> 00:20:53,203
because she's from Long Island?
507
00:20:53,236 --> 00:20:55,636
You want a divorce,
you got one!
508
00:20:58,069 --> 00:20:59,999
You know, you might wanna think
about changing your name.
509
00:20:59,999 --> 00:21:01,869
You know, you might wanna think
about changing your name.
510
00:21:01,903 --> 00:21:03,703
So ever since she started
dating Kramer,
511
00:21:03,736 --> 00:21:04,703
she won't even talk to me.
512
00:21:04,736 --> 00:21:05,903
Well, Noreen listened to you
513
00:21:05,936 --> 00:21:07,936
like George's mother
listened to the Chinese.
514
00:21:09,269 --> 00:21:11,403
You know, everybody
listens to the Chinese.
515
00:21:11,436 --> 00:21:12,736
Look at the fortune cookie.
516
00:21:12,769 --> 00:21:15,103
You couldn't get away with that
in any other restaurant.
517
00:21:15,136 --> 00:21:18,869
Yeah, no one's reading any
rolled up messages in a knish.
518
00:21:18,903 --> 00:21:20,736
Well, it had to happen.
519
00:21:20,769 --> 00:21:21,803
I knew it.
520
00:21:21,836 --> 00:21:22,936
I predicted it.
521
00:21:24,336 --> 00:21:25,636
I saw both of them today.
522
00:21:25,669 --> 00:21:27,069
What a disaster.
523
00:21:28,169 --> 00:21:29,636
I'm running
all over Queens.
524
00:21:29,669 --> 00:21:29,999
First, I saw my mother.
We had lunch together.
525
00:21:29,999 --> 00:21:31,903
First, I saw my mother.
We had lunch together.
526
00:21:31,936 --> 00:21:33,803
I never had lunch
with my mother before.
527
00:21:33,836 --> 00:21:35,136
It's like a date.
528
00:21:35,169 --> 00:21:37,469
Then we drive down to
Q Gardens. Tons of traffic.
529
00:21:37,503 --> 00:21:40,369
I see my father.
We played Clue.
530
00:21:40,403 --> 00:21:41,803
All day with this.
531
00:21:41,836 --> 00:21:43,869
KRAMER:
Hey, Jerry, guess what!
532
00:21:43,903 --> 00:21:46,469
The Kramer name might live on!
533
00:21:46,503 --> 00:21:50,136
Noreen's late!
She's late!
534
00:21:50,169 --> 00:21:52,169
[♪]
535
00:22:16,669 --> 00:22:18,203
Who are you?
536
00:22:18,236 --> 00:22:19,969
I'm Frank Costanza's lawyer.
537
00:22:20,003 --> 00:22:22,003
[♪]
37609
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