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1
00:00:01,500 --> 00:00:03,133
To me, the thing about
birthday parties
2
00:00:03,166 --> 00:00:05,966
is that the first and last
party you have
3
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:07,533
are actually quite similar.
4
00:00:07,566 --> 00:00:09,333
You know, you just
kind of sit there.
5
00:00:09,366 --> 00:00:12,400
You're the least excited
person at the party.
6
00:00:12,433 --> 00:00:15,300
You don't even really realize
that there is a party.
7
00:00:15,333 --> 00:00:17,166
You don't know
what's going on.
8
00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:18,333
Both birthday parties,
9
00:00:18,366 --> 00:00:20,233
people have to help you
blow out the candles.
10
00:00:20,266 --> 00:00:21,500
You can't do it.
11
00:00:21,533 --> 00:00:23,166
You don't even know
why you're doing it.
12
00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:25,966
What is this ritual?
What is going on?
13
00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:27,666
It's also the only two
birthday parties
14
00:00:27,700 --> 00:00:29,233
where other people
have to gather
15
00:00:29,266 --> 00:00:30,000
your friends together for you.
16
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,966
your friends together for you.
17
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:33,733
Sometimes they're
not even your friends.
18
00:00:33,766 --> 00:00:35,133
They make the judgment.
19
00:00:35,166 --> 00:00:37,466
They bring them in,
sit 'em down, and they tell you:
20
00:00:37,500 --> 00:00:40,000
"These are your friends.
21
00:00:40,033 --> 00:00:41,400
"Tell them
thank you for coming
22
00:00:41,433 --> 00:00:43,000
to my birthday party."
23
00:00:46,500 --> 00:00:49,200
WOMAN:
These are great!
Just great!
24
00:00:49,233 --> 00:00:50,200
Really great!
25
00:00:50,233 --> 00:00:51,966
Really,
really great!
26
00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:53,466
Don't you think so,
Elaine?
27
00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:54,866
Yeah.
28
00:00:54,900 --> 00:00:56,133
Really great.
29
00:00:56,166 --> 00:00:59,400
Oh, a coffee table book
about coffee tables.
30
00:00:59,433 --> 00:01:01,900
How did you come up
with this idea?
31
00:01:01,933 --> 00:01:02,933
It was there.
32
00:01:03,766 --> 00:01:04,900
Oh, look at this one.
33
00:01:04,933 --> 00:01:06,633
It's saying,
"I'm a coffee table.
34
00:01:06,666 --> 00:01:08,000
"Put some coffee on me.
35
00:01:08,033 --> 00:01:10,233
Oh, the hotter the better.
That's what I'm here for."
36
00:01:10,266 --> 00:01:13,700
Ah, you know, actually, I've
got some work I've gotta do.
37
00:01:13,733 --> 00:01:14,378
How about if the book came
with these little foldout legs
38
00:01:14,378 --> 00:01:16,733
How about if the book came
with these little foldout legs
39
00:01:16,766 --> 00:01:18,800
so the book itself
becomes a coffee table.
40
00:01:18,833 --> 00:01:21,533
Oh, that is
a great idea!
41
00:01:21,566 --> 00:01:23,266
Really,
really great!
42
00:01:24,833 --> 00:01:25,800
ELAINE:
"Ohh!
43
00:01:25,833 --> 00:01:27,400
"and that coffee table
is saying,
44
00:01:27,433 --> 00:01:30,366
put some coffee on me!"
45
00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:31,866
I'd like to put
some coffee on her.
46
00:01:31,900 --> 00:01:34,200
Hot, scalding coffee
right in her face.
47
00:01:34,233 --> 00:01:36,833
I swear! This is like
working with a contestant
48
00:01:36,866 --> 00:01:38,366
from The Price Is Right.
49
00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:40,366
[FAKE LAUGHING]
50
00:01:41,566 --> 00:01:43,400
Yeah, that's
real interesting. Elaine...
51
00:01:43,433 --> 00:01:44,378
listen, tell me if
you think this is funny.
52
00:01:44,378 --> 00:01:46,533
listen, tell me if
you think this is funny.
53
00:01:46,566 --> 00:01:49,500
"Men definitely hit the remote
more than women.
54
00:01:49,533 --> 00:01:50,900
"Men don't care
what's on TV.
55
00:01:50,933 --> 00:01:53,833
"Men only care
what else is on TV.
56
00:01:54,766 --> 00:01:56,200
"Women wanna see
what the show is
57
00:01:56,233 --> 00:01:57,633
"before they
change the channel
58
00:01:57,666 --> 00:01:59,066
because men hunt
and women nest."
59
00:01:59,100 --> 00:02:00,533
Yeah, it's funny.
60
00:02:00,566 --> 00:02:01,666
I don't know.
61
00:02:02,833 --> 00:02:05,000
You don't know?
Come on. That's gold!
62
00:02:05,033 --> 00:02:07,233
Well, I don't know
about gold.
63
00:02:07,266 --> 00:02:08,366
Oh, that's gold, baby.
64
00:02:09,766 --> 00:02:11,800
Baby? What?
Are you doing George now?
65
00:02:11,833 --> 00:02:14,133
Hey, I was saying "baby"
way before George.
66
00:02:14,166 --> 00:02:14,378
Well, I don't know. Don't ask me
any more questions about jokes.
67
00:02:14,378 --> 00:02:16,866
Well, I don't know. Don't ask me
any more questions about jokes.
68
00:02:16,900 --> 00:02:18,900
Jerry, it just puts
too much pressure on me.
69
00:02:18,933 --> 00:02:21,366
This guy Leonard Christian's
gonna be there tomorrow.
70
00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:22,466
Yeah?
Who's he?
71
00:02:22,500 --> 00:02:24,133
A writer from
Entertainment Weekly.
72
00:02:24,166 --> 00:02:25,833
I would like to have
a good show.
73
00:02:25,866 --> 00:02:28,333
Danke schoön,
my little dumplings.
74
00:02:28,366 --> 00:02:29,466
Hi.
75
00:02:29,500 --> 00:02:30,800
Hey, how 'bout
that Toby, huh?
76
00:02:30,833 --> 00:02:31,866
Yeah,
how about her?
77
00:02:31,900 --> 00:02:35,733
Ooh, she's a package
full of energy.
78
00:02:35,766 --> 00:02:38,133
Yeah, she's a package
full of something.
79
00:02:38,166 --> 00:02:39,566
And that something
is life.
80
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:42,233
You gotta meet this gal.
She's brimming with positivity.
81
00:02:42,266 --> 00:02:44,233
Oh, please.
82
00:02:44,266 --> 00:02:44,378
Hey, are you performing
tomorrow?
83
00:02:44,378 --> 00:02:46,200
Hey, are you performing
tomorrow?
84
00:02:46,233 --> 00:02:47,233
Yeah.
Great.
85
00:02:47,266 --> 00:02:48,866
I'm gonna bring Toby.
86
00:02:48,900 --> 00:02:51,633
You better laugh.
I'm being reviewed
by Leonard Christian.
87
00:02:51,666 --> 00:02:53,533
She's a great laugher.
Right, Elaine?
88
00:02:53,566 --> 00:02:55,400
Oh, yeah.
She's a great laugher, Jerry.
89
00:02:55,433 --> 00:02:59,366
"Ha-ha!
Really, really great!"
90
00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:00,833
Well, you wanna
sit with George?
91
00:03:00,866 --> 00:03:02,166
He's coming with Robin.
92
00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:04,800
The waitress
from the comedy club?
Yeah.
93
00:03:04,833 --> 00:03:06,966
What about her kid?
Is she bringing him too?
94
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:07,966
She's got a kid?
95
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,133
Yeah. You should see George
96
00:03:09,166 --> 00:03:10,733
get along with this kid.
97
00:03:10,766 --> 00:03:13,300
GEORGE:
Ow! What are you
doing under there?
98
00:03:13,333 --> 00:03:14,378
Hey, hey, stop that.
99
00:03:14,378 --> 00:03:14,466
Hey, hey, stop that.
100
00:03:14,500 --> 00:03:16,400
Don't eat that.
That's not food!
101
00:03:16,433 --> 00:03:18,133
He's sucking down
Equal packets.
102
00:03:18,166 --> 00:03:20,300
Do you think 25 kids
is too much?
103
00:03:20,333 --> 00:03:23,233
Twenty-five kids
for his birthday party?
104
00:03:23,266 --> 00:03:25,233
Don't put your tongue
on the floor!
105
00:03:25,266 --> 00:03:27,400
He's putting his tongue
on the floor.
106
00:03:27,433 --> 00:03:28,400
Here, here.
107
00:03:28,433 --> 00:03:30,566
Have some more
sugar packets.
108
00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:32,366
So what about
entertainment?
109
00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:33,466
Should I get Barney?
110
00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:34,866
BOY:
No Barney!
111
00:03:34,900 --> 00:03:36,400
Maybe a clown.
112
00:03:36,433 --> 00:03:37,666
How about Bozo?
113
00:03:37,700 --> 00:03:39,400
BOY:
Who's Bozo?
114
00:03:39,433 --> 00:03:40,966
Who's Bozo?
115
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:43,166
Bozo the Clown.
That's who Bozo is.
116
00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:44,378
When I was a kid, Bozo
the Clown was the clown.
117
00:03:44,378 --> 00:03:45,966
When I was a kid, Bozo
the Clown was the clown.
118
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,133
George...
119
00:03:47,166 --> 00:03:49,900
With the orange hair,
the ruffled clown shirt.
120
00:03:49,933 --> 00:03:50,900
George...
121
00:03:50,933 --> 00:03:52,000
A TV show.
Cartoons.
122
00:03:52,033 --> 00:03:53,666
George!
123
00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:55,533
Forget Bozo, George.
124
00:03:55,566 --> 00:03:56,633
Bozo's out.
125
00:03:56,666 --> 00:03:57,666
He's finished.
126
00:03:57,700 --> 00:03:59,800
It's over for Bozo.
127
00:03:59,833 --> 00:04:02,866
When I was a kid, we didn't
have these elaborate parties
128
00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:05,633
with catered food
and entertainment.
129
00:04:05,666 --> 00:04:07,533
I remember my seventh
birthday party.
130
00:04:07,566 --> 00:04:09,533
Blow out the candles!
Blow out the candles!
131
00:04:09,566 --> 00:04:11,533
I said blow out
the damn candles!
132
00:04:11,566 --> 00:04:13,533
Stop it, Frank!
You're killing him!
133
00:04:13,566 --> 00:04:14,378
Blow out the candles!
134
00:04:14,378 --> 00:04:15,866
Blow out the candles!
135
00:04:17,366 --> 00:04:20,500
Well, this time, you can
blow out the candles.
136
00:04:20,533 --> 00:04:21,800
No. I have asthma.
137
00:04:21,833 --> 00:04:24,066
Ow! Ben!
Ben!
138
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:28,200
Hi.
139
00:04:29,333 --> 00:04:30,500
Hi, Toby.
140
00:04:30,533 --> 00:04:31,733
How are you
doing today?
141
00:04:31,766 --> 00:04:33,266
Fine.
142
00:04:37,933 --> 00:04:38,900
How are you?
143
00:04:38,933 --> 00:04:40,166
Oh, I'm great.
144
00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:41,333
Just great.
145
00:04:41,366 --> 00:04:42,700
Really great.
146
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:44,378
Oh, hey, did you hear
about Bob Rosen?
147
00:04:44,378 --> 00:04:46,533
Oh, hey, did you hear
about Bob Rosen?
148
00:04:46,566 --> 00:04:48,033
No.
149
00:04:48,066 --> 00:04:50,500
He's going to Knopf. He is going
to be a vice president.
150
00:04:50,533 --> 00:04:52,000
Knopf? Really?
151
00:04:52,033 --> 00:04:53,233
Boy...
152
00:04:53,266 --> 00:04:55,500
that means there's
an opening here for...
153
00:04:55,533 --> 00:04:56,500
senior editor.
154
00:04:56,533 --> 00:04:59,033
Has Lippman, uh,
hired anyone?
155
00:04:59,066 --> 00:05:02,000
No. I hear he wants to
promote someone in-house.
156
00:05:02,033 --> 00:05:04,300
Really?
157
00:05:04,333 --> 00:05:05,866
Maybe it'll be you.
158
00:05:05,900 --> 00:05:07,800
Oh, well...
159
00:05:07,833 --> 00:05:09,233
You really deserve it.
160
00:05:09,266 --> 00:05:11,333
Oh, well...
161
00:05:11,366 --> 00:05:13,066
I mean, you have
experience, seniority.
162
00:05:13,100 --> 00:05:14,378
Lippman really
respects your opinion.
163
00:05:14,378 --> 00:05:15,300
Lippman really
respects your opinion.
164
00:05:15,333 --> 00:05:19,400
Well...
165
00:05:19,433 --> 00:05:20,900
Well, it could be you.
166
00:05:20,933 --> 00:05:21,900
No.
167
00:05:21,933 --> 00:05:23,200
No, really.
168
00:05:23,233 --> 00:05:24,966
Really?
You think so?
169
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:26,233
Sure.
170
00:05:26,266 --> 00:05:28,700
Boy, wouldn't that
be exciting?
171
00:05:28,733 --> 00:05:30,633
I mean, stranger things
have happened.
172
00:05:30,666 --> 00:05:32,633
Wow! Me, a senior editor!
173
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,300
I'd like that.
174
00:05:34,333 --> 00:05:36,400
You shouldn't
get your hopes up.
175
00:05:36,433 --> 00:05:37,533
Oh, well...
176
00:05:37,566 --> 00:05:38,700
It's a possibility.
177
00:05:38,733 --> 00:05:42,166
Like you said, stranger
things have happened.
178
00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:44,066
Thank you, Elaine.
Thank you.
179
00:05:49,666 --> 00:05:50,633
JERRY:
Hey, Ronnie.
180
00:05:50,666 --> 00:05:51,633
Hey.
181
00:05:51,666 --> 00:05:52,866
Can I have
a club soda?
182
00:05:53,500 --> 00:05:54,466
Going on tonight?
183
00:05:54,500 --> 00:05:55,466
Yeah. You?
Yeah.
184
00:05:55,500 --> 00:05:57,300
You know,
Leonard Christian's here.
185
00:05:57,333 --> 00:05:58,233
Yeah, I know.
186
00:05:58,266 --> 00:05:59,533
Can I ask you something?
187
00:05:59,566 --> 00:06:01,700
Are my nostrils
getting bigger?
188
00:06:04,100 --> 00:06:05,866
I don't think so.
189
00:06:05,900 --> 00:06:07,233
Are you sure?
Take a good look.
190
00:06:07,266 --> 00:06:08,500
They seem
a little bigger?
191
00:06:08,533 --> 00:06:10,066
I don't...
I don't know.
192
00:06:10,100 --> 00:06:12,566
Is it possible
for nostrils to expand?
193
00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:13,566
Oh, is this a bit?
194
00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:14,378
Hey, I don't do bits.
195
00:06:14,378 --> 00:06:15,400
Hey, I don't do bits.
196
00:06:15,433 --> 00:06:17,533
I'm a prop comic.
197
00:06:17,566 --> 00:06:19,466
Damn it. I can't
find my water gun.
198
00:06:19,500 --> 00:06:21,300
I can't go on
without my water gun.
199
00:06:21,333 --> 00:06:22,400
Hey, Jerry.
200
00:06:22,433 --> 00:06:23,400
Hey!
201
00:06:23,433 --> 00:06:24,733
Well, here's Toby.
Jerry.
202
00:06:24,766 --> 00:06:26,833
This is so exciting.
203
00:06:26,866 --> 00:06:27,833
Look.
204
00:06:27,866 --> 00:06:28,833
I have goose bumps.
205
00:06:28,866 --> 00:06:29,833
Touch.
206
00:06:29,866 --> 00:06:31,433
TOBY:
Touch them.
207
00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:33,166
Ahh! Ha-ha!
208
00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:34,300
Oh, hey.
209
00:06:34,333 --> 00:06:36,233
I've never been
to a comedy club before.
210
00:06:36,266 --> 00:06:37,733
Really?
211
00:06:37,766 --> 00:06:40,500
You know a lot of restaurants
are serving brewed decaf too.
212
00:06:40,533 --> 00:06:42,200
[LAUGHING]
213
00:06:42,233 --> 00:06:44,366
You are so funny!
214
00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:45,800
You'll have a good time,
I swear.
215
00:06:45,833 --> 00:06:48,033
He swears, like he thinks
I don't believe him.
216
00:06:48,066 --> 00:06:49,733
I believe you.
I believe you.
217
00:06:49,766 --> 00:06:51,000
Oh, he's so funny.
218
00:06:51,033 --> 00:06:52,000
What about me?
219
00:06:52,033 --> 00:06:54,733
What about you?
220
00:06:54,766 --> 00:06:55,866
I'm only kidding.
221
00:06:55,900 --> 00:06:57,200
You're funny too.
222
00:06:57,233 --> 00:06:58,666
I love to laugh.
223
00:06:58,700 --> 00:06:59,733
Good. Good.
224
00:06:59,766 --> 00:07:00,733
So you up next?
225
00:07:00,766 --> 00:07:02,133
Yeah. You guys
get a table.
226
00:07:02,166 --> 00:07:03,633
So you have good seats.
227
00:07:03,666 --> 00:07:05,200
We don't want some jerk
in front of us.
228
00:07:05,233 --> 00:07:07,533
It'll be, like, "Hey, big-head,
move outta the way.
229
00:07:07,566 --> 00:07:10,033
I didn't pay a cover charge
to stare at your bald spot."
230
00:07:11,900 --> 00:07:13,133
All right,
have a good show.
231
00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:14,378
Yeah.
232
00:07:14,378 --> 00:07:14,733
Yeah.
233
00:07:14,766 --> 00:07:17,066
Hey, we'll make sure
it's a great show.
234
00:07:17,100 --> 00:07:18,533
Okay, good.
I'll see ya later.
235
00:07:18,566 --> 00:07:19,666
Yeah.
236
00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:22,033
Oh, he's so great!
This is so great!
237
00:07:22,066 --> 00:07:23,400
I'm so excited!
238
00:07:26,033 --> 00:07:27,800
Men definitely
hit the remote button
239
00:07:27,833 --> 00:07:28,800
more than women.
240
00:07:28,833 --> 00:07:31,533
Oh, really!
That is so true!
241
00:07:31,566 --> 00:07:32,966
Yes, I... Yeah.
242
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:35,466
See, men don't care
what's on TV.
243
00:07:35,500 --> 00:07:37,866
Men only care
what else is on TV.
244
00:07:37,900 --> 00:07:39,700
Oh, yes, yes!
245
00:07:39,733 --> 00:07:41,166
TOBY:
Right on!
Right on!
246
00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:43,866
See, women, uh...
247
00:07:43,900 --> 00:07:44,378
Women really wanna see
what the show is
248
00:07:44,378 --> 00:07:45,666
Women really wanna see
what the show is
249
00:07:45,700 --> 00:07:47,200
before they
change the channel.
250
00:07:47,233 --> 00:07:49,033
TOBY:
Oh! That is so true!
251
00:07:49,066 --> 00:07:50,800
Yes! Yes!
252
00:07:50,833 --> 00:07:52,400
JERRY:
That's why...
253
00:07:52,433 --> 00:07:53,966
men hunt
and women nest.
254
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:57,866
Boo! Boo!
Sssss!
255
00:07:57,900 --> 00:08:00,733
TOBY:
Boo!
256
00:08:00,766 --> 00:08:02,500
Uh, yeah, anyway,
Yeah, all right.
257
00:08:02,533 --> 00:08:04,466
So, uh, anyway...
258
00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:05,566
What was I talking about?
259
00:08:10,166 --> 00:08:11,300
Hey.
260
00:08:11,333 --> 00:08:13,466
Wh-what's the deal?
What was going on there?
261
00:08:13,500 --> 00:08:14,378
I invite you down here.
262
00:08:14,378 --> 00:08:14,700
I invite you down here.
263
00:08:14,733 --> 00:08:16,733
I have an important show,
and she heckles me?
264
00:08:16,766 --> 00:08:18,166
Look, she didn't
mean anything.
265
00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:20,133
What's the matter with her?
Is she crazy?
266
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:22,200
She's just being
enthusiastic, that's all.
267
00:08:22,233 --> 00:08:24,200
Hey, what is wrong
with you?
268
00:08:24,233 --> 00:08:25,200
Me?
269
00:08:25,233 --> 00:08:26,800
Nothing's
wrong with me.
270
00:08:26,833 --> 00:08:29,300
You boo me!
You hiss!
271
00:08:29,333 --> 00:08:31,833
You didn't stop blathering
throughout the whole set.
272
00:08:31,866 --> 00:08:33,866
Oh, come on!
I thought you're a pro.
273
00:08:33,900 --> 00:08:35,166
That's part
of the show.
274
00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:37,700
No!
Not part of the show.
275
00:08:37,733 --> 00:08:40,000
Booing and hissing
are not part of the show.
276
00:08:40,033 --> 00:08:43,633
You boo puppets. You hiss
villains in silent movies.
277
00:08:43,666 --> 00:08:44,378
Well, that's the way
I express myself.
278
00:08:44,378 --> 00:08:46,066
Well, that's the way
I express myself.
279
00:08:46,100 --> 00:08:48,233
How will you make it
if you can't take it?
280
00:08:48,266 --> 00:08:49,533
Oh, I can take it.
281
00:08:49,566 --> 00:08:50,566
Let's go.
282
00:08:52,733 --> 00:08:53,933
Hey, man, good set.
283
00:08:59,766 --> 00:09:01,833
Bozo?
284
00:09:01,866 --> 00:09:03,400
No.
285
00:09:03,433 --> 00:09:04,700
B-O-Z-O.
286
00:09:04,733 --> 00:09:05,866
Sorry. I...
287
00:09:07,100 --> 00:09:09,000
You've never heard
of Bozo the Clown?
288
00:09:09,033 --> 00:09:10,566
No!
289
00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:12,466
How could you not know
who Bozo the Clown is?
290
00:09:12,500 --> 00:09:14,333
I don't know.
I just don't.
291
00:09:14,366 --> 00:09:14,378
How can you call
yourself a clown
292
00:09:14,378 --> 00:09:15,733
How can you call
yourself a clown
293
00:09:15,766 --> 00:09:17,866
and not know
who Bozo is?
294
00:09:17,900 --> 00:09:19,800
Hey, man, what are
you hassling me for?
295
00:09:19,833 --> 00:09:22,900
This is just a gig.
It's not my life.
296
00:09:22,933 --> 00:09:24,833
I don't know who Bozo is?
What, is he a clown?
297
00:09:24,866 --> 00:09:26,700
What, are you
kidding me?
298
00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:27,666
Well, what is he?
299
00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:29,366
Yes, he's a clown!
300
00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:32,233
What's the big deal?
There's millions of clowns.
301
00:09:33,066 --> 00:09:34,200
All right.
Just forget it.
302
00:09:34,233 --> 00:09:36,200
Me? You should
forget it.
303
00:09:36,233 --> 00:09:38,000
You're living
in the past, man.
304
00:09:38,033 --> 00:09:41,033
You're hung up on some
clown from the '60s, man!
305
00:09:41,066 --> 00:09:42,500
All right.
306
00:09:42,533 --> 00:09:43,833
Very good.
Very good.
307
00:09:43,866 --> 00:09:44,378
All right. Go fold your little
balloon animals, Eric.
308
00:09:44,378 --> 00:09:46,133
All right. Go fold your little
balloon animals, Eric.
309
00:09:46,166 --> 00:09:47,366
"Eric."
310
00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:49,800
Ha-ha. What kind of name
is that for a clown, huh?
311
00:09:49,833 --> 00:09:51,066
Excuse me.
312
00:09:51,100 --> 00:09:53,366
You must be
George.
313
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:55,333
I'm Robin's
mother.
314
00:09:55,366 --> 00:09:56,533
Ohh.
315
00:09:56,566 --> 00:09:59,166
You seem like such
a lovely young man.
316
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:02,033
Well, I do what I can.
317
00:10:02,066 --> 00:10:03,800
Hi, Ma.
How's everything?
318
00:10:03,833 --> 00:10:08,533
Oh, this is just
a wonderful party.
319
00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:10,166
The burgers should be ready
in a minute.
320
00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:11,633
Oh, great. Great.
321
00:10:11,666 --> 00:10:13,633
[SNIFFING]
322
00:10:13,666 --> 00:10:14,378
What's that smell?
323
00:10:14,378 --> 00:10:14,766
What's that smell?
324
00:10:16,066 --> 00:10:17,166
Smoke?
325
00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:19,100
Smoke...
326
00:10:19,766 --> 00:10:20,966
Everybody...
327
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:24,033
I think I smell
some smoke back here.
328
00:10:24,066 --> 00:10:25,033
Fire!
329
00:10:25,066 --> 00:10:27,066
[EVERYONE SCREAMING]
330
00:10:32,033 --> 00:10:33,666
It was an inferno in there!
An inferno!
331
00:10:33,700 --> 00:10:35,166
MAN:
There he is!
That's him!
332
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:39,633
WOMAN:
That's the coward
that left us to die!
333
00:10:39,666 --> 00:10:41,666
[YELLING]
334
00:10:49,506 --> 00:10:52,572
I was trying
to lead the way.
335
00:10:52,606 --> 00:10:53,972
We needed a leader.
336
00:10:54,006 --> 00:10:57,472
Someone to lead
the way to safety.
337
00:10:57,506 --> 00:11:00,339
But you yelled,
"Get out of my way."
338
00:11:01,072 --> 00:11:02,706
Because...
339
00:11:02,739 --> 00:11:04,472
Because...
340
00:11:04,506 --> 00:11:05,639
as the leader,
341
00:11:05,672 --> 00:11:07,306
if I die,
342
00:11:07,339 --> 00:11:08,639
then...
343
00:11:08,672 --> 00:11:10,639
all hope is lost!
344
00:11:10,672 --> 00:11:11,872
Who would lead?
345
00:11:11,906 --> 00:11:12,872
The clowns?
346
00:11:12,906 --> 00:11:13,601
Huh?
347
00:11:13,601 --> 00:11:14,806
Huh?
348
00:11:14,839 --> 00:11:15,972
Instead of
castigating me,
349
00:11:16,006 --> 00:11:17,406
you should all
be thanking me.
350
00:11:17,439 --> 00:11:20,139
What kind of a topsy-turvy
world do we live in where--
351
00:11:20,172 --> 00:11:22,339
Where heroes are
cast as villains,
352
00:11:22,372 --> 00:11:24,372
brave men
as cowards?
353
00:11:24,406 --> 00:11:26,972
But I saw you push
the women and children
354
00:11:27,006 --> 00:11:29,406
out of the way
in a mad panic.
355
00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:32,139
I saw you knock them down!
356
00:11:32,172 --> 00:11:35,672
And when you ran out,
you left everyone behind!
357
00:11:35,706 --> 00:11:37,239
Seemingly.
358
00:11:37,272 --> 00:11:38,306
Seemingly.
359
00:11:38,339 --> 00:11:39,572
To the untrained eye,
360
00:11:39,606 --> 00:11:41,039
I can fully understand
361
00:11:41,072 --> 00:11:42,339
how you got
that impression.
362
00:11:43,506 --> 00:11:43,601
What looked
like pushing,
363
00:11:43,601 --> 00:11:45,372
What looked
like pushing,
364
00:11:45,406 --> 00:11:47,839
what looked like
knocking down,
365
00:11:47,872 --> 00:11:49,306
was a safety
precaution.
366
00:11:49,339 --> 00:11:50,306
In a fire,
367
00:11:50,339 --> 00:11:51,572
you stay
close to the ground.
368
00:11:51,606 --> 00:11:52,572
Am I right?
369
00:11:52,606 --> 00:11:54,306
Well...
370
00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:56,072
And when I ran
out that door,
371
00:11:56,106 --> 00:11:59,172
I was not leaving
anyone behind!
372
00:11:59,206 --> 00:12:00,972
Quite the contrary.
373
00:12:01,006 --> 00:12:03,172
I risked my life,
374
00:12:03,206 --> 00:12:06,172
making sure
that exit was clear.
375
00:12:08,172 --> 00:12:09,739
Any other questions?
376
00:12:09,772 --> 00:12:12,306
How do you live
with yourself?
377
00:12:12,339 --> 00:12:13,572
It's not easy.
378
00:12:17,106 --> 00:12:19,006
So, she doesn't wanna
see me anymore.
379
00:12:22,572 --> 00:12:25,006
Did you knock
her over, too,
380
00:12:25,039 --> 00:12:26,439
or just the kids?
381
00:12:28,772 --> 00:12:31,872
No. Her too.
382
00:12:31,906 --> 00:12:33,672
And her mother.
383
00:12:33,706 --> 00:12:35,006
Really? Her mother?
384
00:12:35,039 --> 00:12:36,006
Yeah.
385
00:12:36,039 --> 00:12:39,539
I may have
stepped on her arm too.
386
00:12:39,572 --> 00:12:42,872
You probably couldn't see
because of the smoke.
387
00:12:42,906 --> 00:12:43,601
Yeah.
388
00:12:43,601 --> 00:12:44,206
Yeah.
389
00:12:44,239 --> 00:12:45,372
But it was
somebody's arm.
390
00:12:45,406 --> 00:12:46,372
Mmm.
391
00:12:46,406 --> 00:12:48,572
So you feel...
392
00:12:48,606 --> 00:12:50,539
"women and children first"
in this day and age
393
00:12:50,572 --> 00:12:52,906
is somewhat of
an antiquated notion.
394
00:12:54,039 --> 00:12:55,206
To some degree, yeah.
395
00:12:55,239 --> 00:12:56,539
So basically,
396
00:12:56,572 --> 00:12:58,806
it's every man,
woman, child and invalid
397
00:12:58,839 --> 00:12:59,872
for themselves.
398
00:13:01,206 --> 00:13:02,339
In a manner
of speaking.
399
00:13:02,372 --> 00:13:03,406
Yeah.
400
00:13:03,439 --> 00:13:05,206
Well, it's honest.
401
00:13:05,239 --> 00:13:06,506
She should be
commending me
402
00:13:06,539 --> 00:13:09,039
for treating everyone
like equals.
403
00:13:09,072 --> 00:13:12,572
Well, perhaps when she's
released from the burn center,
404
00:13:12,606 --> 00:13:13,601
she'll see things
differently.
405
00:13:13,601 --> 00:13:14,439
she'll see things
differently.
406
00:13:17,106 --> 00:13:18,106
Perhaps.
407
00:13:19,406 --> 00:13:22,206
So, what was the fire,
just some greasy hamburgers?
408
00:13:22,239 --> 00:13:23,472
Yeah.
409
00:13:23,506 --> 00:13:26,506
Eric, the clown, put it out
with his big shoe.
410
00:13:32,206 --> 00:13:33,906
By the way,
did you see this?
411
00:13:33,939 --> 00:13:35,972
No, what's that?
412
00:13:36,006 --> 00:13:38,806
The Leonard Christian
article about my show.
413
00:13:38,839 --> 00:13:40,306
Plus my gig in Miami
got canceled.
414
00:13:40,339 --> 00:13:41,972
I betcha it's because
of the article.
415
00:13:42,006 --> 00:13:43,306
Wow.
416
00:13:43,339 --> 00:13:43,601
He really does
a number on you.
417
00:13:43,601 --> 00:13:44,706
He really does
a number on you.
418
00:13:44,739 --> 00:13:48,139
"Seinfeld froze like a deer
in the headlights
419
00:13:48,172 --> 00:13:50,339
in the face of
incessant heckling."
420
00:13:50,372 --> 00:13:53,406
I should've let her have it.
I held back because of Kramer.
421
00:13:53,439 --> 00:13:55,172
You know what you
ought to do?
422
00:13:55,206 --> 00:13:57,306
You should go to her office
and heckle her.
423
00:13:57,339 --> 00:13:58,306
Yeah, right.
424
00:13:58,339 --> 00:13:59,506
Like all the comedians say,
425
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:01,906
"What if I came to your work
and heckled you?"
426
00:14:01,939 --> 00:14:03,239
Yeah, that'd be something.
427
00:14:03,272 --> 00:14:05,306
I'm not kidding.
You should do it.
428
00:14:05,339 --> 00:14:08,072
But wouldn't that be
the ultimate comedian's revenge?
429
00:14:08,106 --> 00:14:09,972
I've always had a fantasy
about doing that.
430
00:14:10,006 --> 00:14:12,006
Well, go ahead.
Do it.
431
00:14:12,039 --> 00:14:13,239
Why can't I?
432
00:14:13,272 --> 00:14:13,601
No reason.
433
00:14:13,601 --> 00:14:14,306
No reason.
434
00:14:14,339 --> 00:14:17,639
You know what?
I think I'll do that.
435
00:14:17,672 --> 00:14:18,872
She came down
to where I work.
436
00:14:18,906 --> 00:14:20,639
I'll go down
to where she works.
437
00:14:20,672 --> 00:14:22,306
This is unprecedented.
438
00:14:22,339 --> 00:14:23,606
There's no precedent,
baby.
439
00:14:26,872 --> 00:14:28,439
What, you're using
my "babies" now?
440
00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:35,006
Hey, nice shoes.
441
00:14:35,039 --> 00:14:36,706
What, do you wear
sandals to work?
442
00:14:36,739 --> 00:14:39,206
It's always nice to walk
in a room and get
the aroma of feet.
443
00:14:39,239 --> 00:14:41,672
That's real conducive
to the work atmosphere.
444
00:14:41,706 --> 00:14:43,472
I'm sure your coworkers
appreciate it.
445
00:14:43,506 --> 00:14:43,601
Hey, let's go eat
in Toby's office.
446
00:14:43,601 --> 00:14:45,839
Hey, let's go eat
in Toby's office.
447
00:14:45,872 --> 00:14:49,039
Great idea. We can
check on her bunions.
448
00:14:49,072 --> 00:14:52,406
You know, I have work
to do here. I'm very busy.
449
00:14:52,439 --> 00:14:53,872
Oh, is this
disruptive?
450
00:14:53,906 --> 00:14:56,406
You find it hard to work
with someone interrupting?
451
00:14:56,439 --> 00:14:59,206
Well, how'd you like it
if I called security?
452
00:14:59,239 --> 00:15:00,472
Security!
453
00:15:00,506 --> 00:15:02,972
I don't know how you'll
make it in this business
454
00:15:03,006 --> 00:15:04,072
if you can't take it.
455
00:15:04,106 --> 00:15:05,072
Oh!
456
00:15:05,106 --> 00:15:06,472
You gotta be tough.
457
00:15:06,506 --> 00:15:08,206
Boo! Boo!
Boo! Boo!
458
00:15:08,239 --> 00:15:09,206
You know--
459
00:15:09,239 --> 00:15:10,206
Hiss! Boo!
460
00:15:10,239 --> 00:15:11,372
All right.
That's it.
461
00:15:11,406 --> 00:15:12,972
Get out of my way!
462
00:15:13,006 --> 00:15:13,601
What's going on?
What's happening here?
463
00:15:13,601 --> 00:15:14,706
What's going on?
What's happening here?
464
00:15:14,739 --> 00:15:15,706
Toby!
465
00:15:15,739 --> 00:15:17,639
Sss! Boo!
466
00:15:17,672 --> 00:15:19,972
TOBY:
My pinkie toe!
467
00:15:20,006 --> 00:15:21,339
KRAMER:
Toby!
468
00:15:21,372 --> 00:15:22,372
Oh!
469
00:15:22,906 --> 00:15:23,906
Oh!
470
00:15:25,739 --> 00:15:27,872
KRAMER:
What did you go up there
to heckle her for?
471
00:15:27,906 --> 00:15:30,206
Because she came down
to the club and heckled me.
472
00:15:30,239 --> 00:15:31,906
I gave her a taste
of her own medicine.
473
00:15:31,939 --> 00:15:35,972
Oh, yeah! You gave her
a taste of medicine, all right.
474
00:15:36,006 --> 00:15:38,539
Well, I didn't want her
to have an accident.
475
00:15:38,572 --> 00:15:39,672
What accident?
476
00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:41,839
After he heckled Toby,
she got so upset,
477
00:15:41,872 --> 00:15:43,172
she ran out
of the building,
478
00:15:43,206 --> 00:15:43,601
and a street sweeper
ran over her foot
479
00:15:43,601 --> 00:15:45,239
and a street sweeper
ran over her foot
480
00:15:45,272 --> 00:15:46,539
and severed
her pinkie toe.
481
00:15:47,906 --> 00:15:49,372
That's
unbelievable!
482
00:15:49,406 --> 00:15:51,006
Yeah. Then after
the ambulance left,
483
00:15:51,039 --> 00:15:52,872
I found the toe.
484
00:15:52,906 --> 00:15:55,339
So I put it in a Cracker Jack
box, filled it with ice
485
00:15:55,372 --> 00:15:57,072
and took off
for the hospital.
486
00:15:57,106 --> 00:15:58,072
You ran?
487
00:15:58,106 --> 00:16:00,172
No. I jumped
on the bus.
488
00:16:00,206 --> 00:16:02,672
I told the driver, "I got a toe
here, buddy. Step on it."
489
00:16:04,039 --> 00:16:05,006
Holy cow!
490
00:16:05,039 --> 00:16:06,006
Yeah, yeah.
491
00:16:06,039 --> 00:16:07,539
Then, all of a sudden,
492
00:16:07,572 --> 00:16:10,006
this guy pulls out a gun.
493
00:16:10,039 --> 00:16:12,872
Well, I knew any delay's
gonna cost her her pinkie toe,
494
00:16:12,906 --> 00:16:13,601
So I got out of the seat
and started walking towards him.
495
00:16:13,601 --> 00:16:16,006
So I got out of the seat
and started walking towards him.
496
00:16:16,039 --> 00:16:19,206
He says, "Where do you think
you're going, Cracker Jack?"
497
00:16:19,239 --> 00:16:21,839
And I says, "Well, I got
a prize for you, buddy"
498
00:16:21,872 --> 00:16:23,872
Plah! Plah! Keeyah!
499
00:16:24,872 --> 00:16:26,072
Knocked him
out cold.
500
00:16:26,106 --> 00:16:27,372
How could you
do that?
501
00:16:27,406 --> 00:16:28,906
Yeah, then everybody
is screaming
502
00:16:28,939 --> 00:16:30,472
because the driver,
he's passed out
503
00:16:30,506 --> 00:16:31,806
because of all
the commotion.
504
00:16:31,839 --> 00:16:34,372
The bus is
out of control!
505
00:16:36,172 --> 00:16:38,339
So I grab him by the collar.
I take him out of the seat.
506
00:16:38,372 --> 00:16:41,272
I get behind the wheel.
Now I'm driving the bus.
507
00:16:43,006 --> 00:16:43,601
You're Batman.
508
00:16:43,601 --> 00:16:43,972
You're Batman.
509
00:16:44,006 --> 00:16:45,872
Yeah. Yeah.
I am Batman.
510
00:16:45,906 --> 00:16:47,472
Then the mugger,
he comes to,
511
00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:48,906
and he starts
choking me,
512
00:16:48,939 --> 00:16:50,972
So I'm fighting him off
with one hand,
513
00:16:51,006 --> 00:16:53,972
and I kept driving the bus
with the other, ya know?
514
00:16:54,006 --> 00:16:55,572
Then I managed
to open up the door,
515
00:16:55,606 --> 00:16:58,172
and I kicked him out
the door with my foot
516
00:16:58,206 --> 00:16:59,539
at the next stop.
517
00:16:59,572 --> 00:17:01,539
You kept making
all the stops?
518
00:17:07,372 --> 00:17:09,272
Well, people kept
ringing the bell!
519
00:17:12,739 --> 00:17:13,601
Well, what
about the toe?
520
00:17:13,601 --> 00:17:14,739
Well, what
about the toe?
521
00:17:14,772 --> 00:17:15,906
What happened
to the toe?
522
00:17:15,939 --> 00:17:17,906
Well, I am happy to say
523
00:17:17,939 --> 00:17:20,572
the little guy's back in place
at the end of the line.
524
00:17:23,239 --> 00:17:26,906
You did all this
for a pinkie toe?
525
00:17:26,939 --> 00:17:29,272
Well, it's a
valuable appendage.
526
00:17:33,506 --> 00:17:35,306
So Kramer
found the toe,
527
00:17:35,339 --> 00:17:37,239
and they
reattached it.
528
00:17:37,272 --> 00:17:38,739
Really?
529
00:17:38,772 --> 00:17:41,206
Yeah. Poor kid.
What an ordeal.
530
00:17:41,239 --> 00:17:43,601
Right. And you know how
extremely sensitive she is.
531
00:17:43,601 --> 00:17:43,872
Right. And you know how
extremely sensitive she is.
532
00:17:44,382 --> 00:17:46,048
She's gonna need
our full support.
533
00:17:46,082 --> 00:17:47,715
Yeah, right.
534
00:17:47,748 --> 00:17:48,882
Look who's here!
535
00:17:48,915 --> 00:17:50,648
Toby.
Hey, it's Toby.
536
00:17:50,682 --> 00:17:53,315
WOMAN:
How are you?
How are you feeling?
537
00:17:53,348 --> 00:17:55,115
Oh, I'll be okay.
538
00:17:55,148 --> 00:17:56,115
WOMAN:
Are you sure?
539
00:17:56,148 --> 00:17:57,282
I think so.
540
00:17:57,315 --> 00:18:00,115
Toby, what can I do?
Can I get you something?
541
00:18:00,148 --> 00:18:02,048
Oh, no. No, thank you.
542
00:18:02,082 --> 00:18:04,015
Toby, please let us help.
We're family.
543
00:18:04,048 --> 00:18:07,182
Oh, well, I could
use a cup of coffee.
544
00:18:08,382 --> 00:18:09,682
JERRY:
She got the promotion?
545
00:18:09,715 --> 00:18:11,048
Yep.
546
00:18:11,082 --> 00:18:12,048
Why?
547
00:18:12,082 --> 00:18:13,182
I'll tell you why.
548
00:18:13,215 --> 00:18:13,601
Because of her pinkie toe.
That's why.
549
00:18:13,601 --> 00:18:16,448
Because of her pinkie toe.
That's why.
550
00:18:16,482 --> 00:18:18,315
Because Lippman felt
so sorry for her,
551
00:18:18,348 --> 00:18:20,515
he didn't wanna
hurt her feelings.
552
00:18:20,548 --> 00:18:21,515
Too bad.
553
00:18:21,548 --> 00:18:23,482
Sure, the pinkie toe
is cute,
554
00:18:23,515 --> 00:18:25,282
but I mean,
what is it?
555
00:18:25,315 --> 00:18:27,848
It's useless.
It does nothing.
556
00:18:27,882 --> 00:18:31,115
It's got that little nail
that's just impossible to cut.
557
00:18:31,148 --> 00:18:32,182
What do we need it for?
558
00:18:32,215 --> 00:18:33,282
Because that's the one
559
00:18:33,315 --> 00:18:35,082
that goes "wee wee wee"
all the way home.
560
00:18:36,248 --> 00:18:37,348
You just shut the--
561
00:18:37,382 --> 00:18:39,048
Hey, Elaine.
Did you hear the good news?
562
00:18:39,082 --> 00:18:40,315
Toby got promoted.
563
00:18:40,348 --> 00:18:41,648
Yes, I heard,
Kramer.
564
00:18:41,682 --> 00:18:43,601
I work there,
remember?
565
00:18:43,601 --> 00:18:43,682
I work there,
remember?
566
00:18:43,715 --> 00:18:45,182
Yeah, and you know
what she told me?
567
00:18:45,215 --> 00:18:46,782
She said her first
order of business
568
00:18:46,815 --> 00:18:48,848
is to put my coffee table book
into the bookstores
569
00:18:48,882 --> 00:18:50,682
as soon as possible.
570
00:18:50,715 --> 00:18:52,482
Oh, wonderful!
571
00:18:52,515 --> 00:18:55,548
You know, throughout this whole
thing, she always kept smiling.
572
00:18:55,582 --> 00:18:58,248
Of course. She's deranged.
573
00:19:00,715 --> 00:19:01,882
I went down
to the magazine.
574
00:19:01,915 --> 00:19:03,682
I pleaded with him
to come see me again.
575
00:19:03,715 --> 00:19:06,615
He's coming tonight
and writing another article.
576
00:19:06,648 --> 00:19:09,048
I heard you went down
to somebody's office
577
00:19:09,082 --> 00:19:10,482
and heckled them?
578
00:19:10,515 --> 00:19:13,115
Damn right. We've been
lap dogs long enough.
579
00:19:13,148 --> 00:19:13,601
How could you do that?
Everybody's talking about it.
580
00:19:13,601 --> 00:19:15,782
How could you do that?
Everybody's talking about it.
581
00:19:15,815 --> 00:19:18,448
It's about time one of us
drew a line in the sand.
582
00:19:18,482 --> 00:19:19,448
Jerry,
583
00:19:19,482 --> 00:19:21,182
you're like Rosa Parks.
584
00:19:23,015 --> 00:19:24,948
You opened the door
for all of us.
585
00:19:24,982 --> 00:19:27,315
I can't wait till the next time
somebody heckles me.
586
00:19:27,348 --> 00:19:28,982
Yeah, well,
it won't be long.
587
00:19:29,015 --> 00:19:31,982
ANNOUNCER:
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome Jerry Seinfeld!
588
00:19:35,682 --> 00:19:37,048
Robin? Robin!
589
00:19:38,315 --> 00:19:39,982
George, what is it?
I'm working.
590
00:19:40,015 --> 00:19:40,982
Robin, listen to me.
591
00:19:41,015 --> 00:19:43,148
The most amazing
thing has happened.
592
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:43,601
Kramer has
opened my eyes.
593
00:19:43,601 --> 00:19:46,115
Kramer has
opened my eyes.
594
00:19:46,148 --> 00:19:47,482
I think
I've changed.
595
00:19:48,582 --> 00:19:50,382
What are you
talking about?
Okay.
596
00:19:50,415 --> 00:19:52,715
I mean, Bozo the Clown.
597
00:19:52,748 --> 00:19:56,382
I mean, does he really need
"the Clown" in his title
598
00:19:56,415 --> 00:19:58,615
as clown.
Bozo the Clown?
599
00:19:58,648 --> 00:20:02,315
Are we gonna confuse him
with Bozo the district attorney?
600
00:20:02,348 --> 00:20:05,382
Bozo the pope?
There's no other Bozo.
601
00:20:05,415 --> 00:20:07,715
You'll see. Things
will be different now
602
00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:11,048
if you'll just give me
one more chance.
603
00:20:11,082 --> 00:20:13,601
L-listen, I-I gotta
think about this.
604
00:20:13,601 --> 00:20:14,015
L-listen, I-I gotta
think about this.
605
00:20:14,048 --> 00:20:16,448
All right, but I'm
serious about this.
606
00:20:16,482 --> 00:20:18,748
All right.
Hand it over, man!
607
00:20:20,382 --> 00:20:22,548
That's why men hunt
and women nest.
608
00:20:22,582 --> 00:20:23,715
GEORGE:
He's got a gun!
609
00:20:23,748 --> 00:20:26,515
He's got a gun!
Get out of the way!
610
00:20:26,548 --> 00:20:28,548
[SCREAMING]
611
00:20:34,548 --> 00:20:36,682
George!
612
00:20:36,715 --> 00:20:39,482
This is Ronnie Kaye!
613
00:20:39,515 --> 00:20:40,648
The prop comic?
614
00:20:42,682 --> 00:20:43,601
Oh, hi. I--
615
00:20:43,601 --> 00:20:44,315
Oh, hi. I--
616
00:20:44,348 --> 00:20:45,348
I didn't
recognize you.
617
00:20:45,382 --> 00:20:47,548
What, did you...
You get a haircut?
618
00:20:47,582 --> 00:20:48,582
Nostrils.
619
00:20:50,548 --> 00:20:52,648
George,
620
00:20:52,682 --> 00:20:53,982
could I have a word?
621
00:20:54,015 --> 00:20:56,015
[♪]
622
00:21:03,709 --> 00:21:04,882
I was in a hotel the other day,
623
00:21:04,882 --> 00:21:07,415
and they have that fire map
on the back of the door.
624
00:21:07,415 --> 00:21:09,582
I'm flattered they think
I have it together enough
625
00:21:09,582 --> 00:21:12,182
to stand in a burning hotel
room memorizing directions.
626
00:21:12,215 --> 00:21:13,848
"Hey, I'll go left
by the stair,
627
00:21:13,882 --> 00:21:16,348
right by the candy machine."
628
00:21:16,382 --> 00:21:18,482
I'd probably get lost,
have to go back to the room,
629
00:21:18,515 --> 00:21:19,882
check the map again.
630
00:21:21,415 --> 00:21:23,715
And they always tell you,
no matter what you do,
631
00:21:23,748 --> 00:21:26,382
in a hotel fire,
do not panic.
632
00:21:26,415 --> 00:21:27,948
Hey, I've got
four minutes to live.
633
00:21:27,982 --> 00:21:29,515
I've never panicked
in my whole life.
634
00:21:29,548 --> 00:21:31,715
It's my option.
635
00:21:31,748 --> 00:21:32,011
Even if they find you,
you have a perfect excuse.
636
00:21:32,011 --> 00:21:34,182
Even if they find you,
you have a perfect excuse.
637
00:21:34,215 --> 00:21:36,815
"Gee, I heard they saved you
swinging from the shower curtain
638
00:21:36,848 --> 00:21:40,148
naked with the ice bucket
on your head. What happened?"
639
00:21:40,182 --> 00:21:41,148
"Well, I panicked."
640
00:21:41,182 --> 00:21:42,848
"That's understandable."
43720
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