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1
00:01:01,328 --> 00:01:03,888
Well, come on in,
if you're coming.
2
00:01:05,166 --> 00:01:08,478
Lord, Reverend Trimble sure
knows how to preach a funeral.
3
00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:12,482
If it's one thing I love, it's
a well-preached funeral.
4
00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:14,551
Over here.
5
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:16,786
Yeah, Esther, you
would love a funeral.
6
00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:18,988
That's just your speed. Amen.
7
00:01:19,012 --> 00:01:21,358
You got to give
credit to Ruth Ann.
8
00:01:21,382 --> 00:01:23,927
She sure put Junior
Cooper away in style.
9
00:01:23,951 --> 00:01:25,595
It was the kind of funeral
10
00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:28,698
you see advertised in
The Mortician's Digest.
11
00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:31,634
What do you know about
The Mortician's Digest?
12
00:01:31,658 --> 00:01:33,858
She posed for the centerfold.
13
00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:42,020
Say, listen, let's talk
about something else.
14
00:01:43,070 --> 00:01:44,448
Poor Junior.
15
00:01:44,472 --> 00:01:45,682
Mm, mm, mm.
16
00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:47,750
I can't get over
how he went so fast.
17
00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:48,918
Hm.
18
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,088
Just up and died out
of the clear blue sky.
19
00:01:51,112 --> 00:01:52,389
Yes, he did.
20
00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:53,890
And for no particular reason.
21
00:01:53,914 --> 00:01:55,358
It's a shame.
22
00:01:55,382 --> 00:01:56,859
Amen.
23
00:01:56,883 --> 00:01:58,928
Hey, listen, maybe
you all didn't hear me.
24
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:01,831
I said let's talk about
something cheerful.
25
00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:04,067
We just can't sit around
like nothing happened.
26
00:02:04,091 --> 00:02:06,336
Junior Cooper was
our friend. Right.
27
00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:07,471
And I feel the loss.
28
00:02:07,495 --> 00:02:08,572
I do, too. Yeah.
29
00:02:08,596 --> 00:02:10,640
I feel the loss
more than all of you.
30
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:14,944
He died owing me $9.47.
31
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:18,415
Say, anybody know
what Junior died of?
32
00:02:18,439 --> 00:02:19,516
Nobody knows.
33
00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:21,784
He was always sort
of a hypochondriac.
34
00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:25,489
You mean an alcohol-iac.
35
00:02:25,513 --> 00:02:28,057
Someone told me
Junior's liver went out.
36
00:02:28,081 --> 00:02:30,327
And as much as he used to drink,
37
00:02:30,351 --> 00:02:33,430
I don't blame his
liver for leaving.
38
00:02:33,454 --> 00:02:36,032
Say, how you supposed
to take care of your liver?
39
00:02:36,056 --> 00:02:38,067
I'll tell you the way
I take care of mine.
40
00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:40,792
I flour it and fry it, then
smother it in onions.
41
00:02:43,531 --> 00:02:46,443
I been having trouble
hearing out of my left ear.
42
00:02:46,467 --> 00:02:48,445
I wonder what that's a sign of?
43
00:02:48,469 --> 00:02:51,548
That's a sign of earwax, Bubba.
44
00:02:51,572 --> 00:02:55,051
And I suggest you use Q-tips.
45
00:02:55,075 --> 00:02:56,819
Hey, listen, I don't
wanna hear no more
46
00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:58,788
about dying and sickness.
47
00:02:58,812 --> 00:03:01,258
I'm having me a glass of Ripple.
48
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:04,027
I'll have a taste.
49
00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:05,728
Just what we need
to cheer us up.
50
00:03:05,752 --> 00:03:07,364
You mean to tear you up.
51
00:03:07,388 --> 00:03:10,066
You all should be ashamed.
52
00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:12,669
How can you drink
right after a funeral?
53
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:13,958
Like this.
54
00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:18,741
Give me another
one of them, Grady.
55
00:03:18,765 --> 00:03:21,778
Fred Sanford, you just
left the house of the Lord.
56
00:03:21,802 --> 00:03:23,669
And now I'm in my house.
57
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:28,652
All of y'all ought
to be ashamed.
58
00:03:28,676 --> 00:03:30,987
Drinking like a school of fish.
59
00:03:31,011 --> 00:03:34,457
My Bible says, "Be
not drunk with wine."
60
00:03:34,481 --> 00:03:36,281
What it say about Scotch?
61
00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:41,498
That's what I wanna know.
62
00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:42,666
Listen.
63
00:03:42,690 --> 00:03:45,034
Hey, Esther, why don't
you go someplace else?
64
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:48,059
Why don't you go ugly up
somebody else's house?
65
00:03:51,332 --> 00:03:53,765
Who you calling ugly, sucker?
66
00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:58,815
You.
67
00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:01,384
I could throw some tracing
paper over your head
68
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:03,842
and draw me a moose face.
69
00:04:06,347 --> 00:04:08,692
Hey, Pop. Aunt
Esther. Everybody.
70
00:04:08,716 --> 00:04:09,859
Hey, Lamont.
71
00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:10,993
How was the funeral?
72
00:04:11,017 --> 00:04:12,529
Beautiful, Lamont.
73
00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:15,632
And Reverend Trimble
preached a beautiful eulogy.
74
00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:19,536
I didn't believe a word
of it, but it was beautiful.
75
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:21,838
And Junior sure looked
natural laying there, didn't he?
76
00:04:21,862 --> 00:04:23,573
How he look natural,
he didn't raise up
77
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:26,610
and say nothing about my $9.47?
78
00:04:26,634 --> 00:04:28,878
I can't understand how come
79
00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:30,880
it's always the good
people that have to go?
80
00:04:30,904 --> 00:04:33,617
And at the tender age of 64.
81
00:04:33,641 --> 00:04:36,152
Only 64.
82
00:04:36,176 --> 00:04:39,389
Say that's two years
younger than you, Fred.
83
00:04:39,413 --> 00:04:41,858
Ain't nobody asked you
how old the man was.
84
00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:43,960
Let's talk about something else.
85
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:45,828
Yeah, you all need to
talk about something else.
86
00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:47,397
You're just
depressing yourselves.
87
00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:49,666
If you did something
meaningful with your lives,
88
00:04:49,690 --> 00:04:51,368
you wouldn't have
time to sit around here
89
00:04:51,392 --> 00:04:52,535
and worry about dying.
90
00:04:52,559 --> 00:04:54,504
Meaningful like what? Like work.
91
00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:56,339
Work? That's right.
92
00:04:56,363 --> 00:04:58,808
That'll kill you.
93
00:04:58,832 --> 00:05:00,176
That's right.
94
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:02,245
This good friend of
mine, Willard Ross...
95
00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:03,546
Willie Ross? Yeah.
96
00:05:03,570 --> 00:05:05,782
Worked his self to death.
97
00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,284
He was mixing some cement
98
00:05:07,308 --> 00:05:09,686
and he had a heart
attack and died.
99
00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:11,454
He fell right into the bucket
100
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:14,023
and the cement hardened
and they had to chip it away
101
00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:16,125
before they could bury him.
102
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:18,795
It was just his time to go.
103
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:21,331
The Lord put him
here to lay cement,
104
00:05:21,355 --> 00:05:25,134
and when the Lord figured his
cement-laying days was over,
105
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:28,237
he called him home.
106
00:05:28,261 --> 00:05:29,972
The Lord could have
gave him a break
107
00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:31,574
and let him live
a little bit longer,
108
00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:33,638
get some of that
Social Security money.
109
00:05:35,268 --> 00:05:37,480
That's blasphemy, Fred Sanford,
110
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:40,784
and I'm not gonna be
guilty by association.
111
00:05:40,808 --> 00:05:41,851
Good.
112
00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:44,987
I don't wanna associate
with you anyway.
113
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:46,956
Look, Aunt Esther,
you don't have to leave.
114
00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:48,792
That's all right, Lamont.
115
00:05:48,816 --> 00:05:51,628
I was just waiting to
say hello to you anyway.
116
00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:53,496
Besides, I have
to go to a funeral.
117
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:56,399
A funeral? You just left one.
118
00:05:56,423 --> 00:05:59,157
This one is hers,
can't you tell?
119
00:06:01,729 --> 00:06:05,942
Go on and laugh, but you
won't be laughing on the last day
120
00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:09,446
when you stand before
the Lord in judgment.
121
00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:10,847
"Behold!
122
00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:14,050
There will be weeping
and gnashing of teeth."
123
00:06:14,074 --> 00:06:15,752
Esther, if you don't
get out of here,
124
00:06:15,776 --> 00:06:18,988
there's gonna be some weeping
and some smashing of teeth.
125
00:06:19,012 --> 00:06:20,923
Heathen!
126
00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:23,560
All of you are a
bunch of heathens!
127
00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:26,763
I won't have to be abiding
with you all in heaven.
128
00:06:26,787 --> 00:06:29,120
All of you going to hell!
129
00:06:30,357 --> 00:06:31,601
Bat!
130
00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:33,302
Let's drink to the bat leaving.
131
00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:35,572
I'll drink to that.
132
00:06:35,596 --> 00:06:37,640
Hey, look, why don't
guys stop all this drinking?
133
00:06:37,664 --> 00:06:39,208
You're only gonna make
yourselves depressed.
134
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:40,577
Now why don't you do something
135
00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:42,111
to pick up your
spirits, all right?
136
00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:45,014
You know, for once
Lamont was right.
137
00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:47,316
Let's talk about
something pleasant...
138
00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:50,953
while we pick up our spirits.
139
00:06:50,977 --> 00:06:52,955
Yeah.
140
00:06:52,979 --> 00:06:55,425
That's right because life is
too short to always be worrying
141
00:06:55,449 --> 00:06:57,394
about the whereabouts
of the Grim Reaper.
142
00:06:57,418 --> 00:06:59,729
We ain't here long
enough to enjoy ourselves.
143
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:01,798
Grady, when's the last
time you had a date?
144
00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:03,400
Last night.
145
00:07:03,424 --> 00:07:07,336
Remember you and me sat
right here and watched Star Trek.
146
00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:10,139
No, Grady, I mean
a date with a woman.
147
00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:12,275
Oh, that kind.
148
00:07:12,299 --> 00:07:13,943
See that, you don't
even remember.
149
00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:15,712
Why can't we have us a party?
150
00:07:15,736 --> 00:07:17,313
I got the place.
151
00:07:17,337 --> 00:07:18,415
I got the taste.
152
00:07:18,439 --> 00:07:20,049
All we gotta do is
round up some girls
153
00:07:20,073 --> 00:07:21,651
and then we can
have our own party.
154
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:24,120
Hot dog, a frog! I know
just the women we want.
155
00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:26,155
Who? The Butt Sisters.
156
00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:27,457
Oh, man, not them!
157
00:07:27,481 --> 00:07:28,525
Not the Butt Sisters.
158
00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:31,561
Hell no, not the Butt Sisters.
159
00:07:31,585 --> 00:07:33,530
Anybody but the Butt Sisters.
160
00:07:33,554 --> 00:07:37,767
We wanna have a
party, not a sideshow.
161
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,936
Well, who do you wanna invite?
162
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,404
Well, I don't know.
163
00:07:41,428 --> 00:07:43,740
You know, somebody
with some oomph.
164
00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:46,175
You know, like that guy on
the radio, uh, Wolfman Jack.
165
00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:47,610
Hey, look here, baby.
166
00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:49,211
Yeah, we got you here...
167
00:07:49,235 --> 00:07:51,681
We're gonna have somebody
here make your liver quiver
168
00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:53,716
and put some
glide in your stride.
169
00:07:53,740 --> 00:07:56,553
Yeah, and put some
cut in your strut.
170
00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:57,887
Yeah, baby.
171
00:07:57,911 --> 00:07:59,422
Any y'all know
anybody like that?
172
00:07:59,446 --> 00:08:02,325
I think I know somebody
who would be right up our alley.
173
00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:04,226
Who? Fast Fanny.
174
00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:06,062
She works as a topless waitress
175
00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:08,397
at the bowling
alley down the block.
176
00:08:08,421 --> 00:08:09,899
You know her?
177
00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:10,934
Well, I sort of know her.
178
00:08:10,958 --> 00:08:12,535
And I figure she
owes me a favor.
179
00:08:12,559 --> 00:08:15,137
She spilled a drink in my
lap once and I still tipped her.
180
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,272
Yeah?
181
00:08:16,296 --> 00:08:17,340
Well, look, Grady,
182
00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:19,008
do you think you
could get Fast Fanny
183
00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:21,210
to bring some of her friends
over here to our party?
184
00:08:21,234 --> 00:08:22,545
Well, it's worth a try.
185
00:08:22,569 --> 00:08:25,281
I'll run right on over there
now and see what I can do.
186
00:08:25,305 --> 00:08:28,117
Yeah. You do that,
Grady, and you fellas,
187
00:08:28,141 --> 00:08:30,152
I'm gonna straighten
around the house up here.
188
00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:32,522
And you guys, go
home and take a bath
189
00:08:32,546 --> 00:08:35,424
and change and put
on some fresh socks.
190
00:08:35,448 --> 00:08:37,494
And look here, one more thing.
191
00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:39,718
Change your drawers.
192
00:08:44,992 --> 00:08:47,570
♪ That's all they
serve At night ♪
193
00:08:47,594 --> 00:08:49,873
♪ Back in Nagasaki Where
the fellers chew tobaccy ♪
194
00:08:49,897 --> 00:08:52,208
♪ And the women
do the wacky woo ♪
195
00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:54,443
♪ Fujiyama, grab your momma ♪
196
00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:57,079
♪ Wrap your troubles
In a dream, boy ♪
197
00:08:57,103 --> 00:08:59,849
♪ North and South Dakota
Wake up in the morning ♪♪
198
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,250
How's your lunch, son?
199
00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:03,853
Fine, Pop. Hey, I'm glad to
see you're in a good mood, man,
200
00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:04,854
and you're not
depressed anymore.
201
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:06,789
Oh, no, I'm taking your advice.
202
00:09:06,813 --> 00:09:08,858
I'm doing something
meaningful with my life.
203
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:10,192
Really? You gonna do some work?
204
00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:13,530
No. I figure you
only go around once.
205
00:09:13,554 --> 00:09:17,133
And you gotta grab
all the gusto you can.
206
00:09:17,157 --> 00:09:21,404
So from now on, I'm
gonna be a gusto-grabber.
207
00:09:21,428 --> 00:09:24,541
Oh, really? What kind of
gusto you plan on grabbing?
208
00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:28,244
Any kind I get my grabbers on.
209
00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:29,746
What about your arthritis?
210
00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:33,182
Better to grab with, my son.
211
00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:34,817
What about your heart?
212
00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:36,719
Well, as long as my
grabber is grabbing,
213
00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:40,256
my ticker will be ticking.
214
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:42,058
Just gonna be
fun, fun, fun, huh?
215
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:44,360
Right. Fun, fun, fun, son.
216
00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:46,763
Bring on the wine,
women and the song.
217
00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:49,298
Pop, at your age, you
can't afford to do that.
218
00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:50,700
Why not?
219
00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:52,735
Because if you have too
much wine and women,
220
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:55,905
the song is gonna be
"Nearer My God to Thee."
221
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:57,306
You don't know what
you're talking about.
222
00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:58,374
All right.
223
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,210
Listen, you enjoy your lunch.
224
00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:02,478
I'll get that.
225
00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:12,689
♪ Oo-ooh Ay-aay ♪
226
00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:15,324
I'm coming. I'm coming.
227
00:10:15,348 --> 00:10:17,015
Hey, Grady, that was fast.
228
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,997
And Fast Fanny's fast.
229
00:10:21,021 --> 00:10:22,465
Yeah, Fred.
230
00:10:22,489 --> 00:10:24,968
Fanny had a few minutes,
so she came right on over.
231
00:10:24,992 --> 00:10:26,769
Fred, I'd like for you
to meet Fast Fanny
232
00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,705
and Fanny, meet Fred Sanford.
233
00:10:28,729 --> 00:10:29,872
Hello, Mr. Sanford.
234
00:10:29,896 --> 00:10:31,407
Uh, don't be too formal.
235
00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:34,510
Just call me Freddy,
like in Ready Freddy.
236
00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:36,545
Hey, hey, Fanny, I'm
glad you were free.
237
00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:38,903
Well, I'm not exactly
free, but I'm reasonable.
238
00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:45,221
I told you she was fast.
239
00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:46,756
Yeah, she sure is.
240
00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:48,524
Fanny, come over
here and sit down.
241
00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:50,292
Oh, all right.
242
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:52,895
Uh, look, I guess,
uh, uh, Shady Grady
243
00:10:52,919 --> 00:10:54,931
told you about the party
we planning on tonight.
244
00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:56,198
Yes, he did.
245
00:10:56,222 --> 00:10:58,567
But first let's get an
understanding established.
246
00:10:58,591 --> 00:10:59,802
Yeah, by all means.
247
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:02,505
Are all the men at this
party about your age?
248
00:11:02,529 --> 00:11:04,140
Yeah, why?
249
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:05,775
Well, because me
and my girlfriends
250
00:11:05,799 --> 00:11:08,845
don't wanna be responsible
for any heart attacks.
251
00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:10,312
Oh, you don't have to worry
252
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:11,748
about nothing like
that happening.
253
00:11:11,772 --> 00:11:14,450
And another thing, if you
want this party to move,
254
00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:16,385
I mean really take off,
255
00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:19,388
just make sure there's
plenty to eat, plenty to drink
256
00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:22,125
and a lot of good music.
257
00:11:22,149 --> 00:11:25,261
Yeah, well, we plan to
boogie-woogie all night long.
258
00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:26,863
Yeah. We just let our hair down
259
00:11:26,887 --> 00:11:28,798
and let everybody
go with themselves.
260
00:11:28,822 --> 00:11:33,324
Yeah. And my
destination is in sight.
261
00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:37,996
You're cute.
262
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,945
How many of my friends
do you want me to bring?
263
00:11:42,969 --> 00:11:45,314
Oh, let me see. Uh,
there's Shady Grady.
264
00:11:45,338 --> 00:11:46,582
That's me.
265
00:11:46,606 --> 00:11:49,052
And there's, uh...
There's Slick Skillet
266
00:11:49,076 --> 00:11:51,020
and there's, uh, Big Boy Bubba
267
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:53,856
and Lucky Leroy and... and...
268
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:55,491
About four of them.
269
00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:57,682
Okay. And, uh, which one is he?
270
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:02,699
Oh, that's Left-out Lamont.
271
00:12:02,723 --> 00:12:05,034
You see, he... He
won't be at the party.
272
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,070
Oh, that's too bad.
He's kind of cute.
273
00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:09,534
Yeah, you ain't seen him
when he gets up in the morning.
274
00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:13,242
Say, uh, Fred, I gotta get Fanny
275
00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:15,544
back over to the
bowling alley now.
276
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:16,813
Hey, thanks a lot there, Grady.
277
00:12:16,837 --> 00:12:18,214
And thanks, Fanny.
278
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:21,184
And Fanny...? Uh, Fanny...?
279
00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:22,819
What's your last name?
280
00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:28,157
Fast, faster and
out of sight. Yeah!
281
00:12:28,181 --> 00:12:30,459
Pop, you're not really gonna
have that party here, are you?
282
00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:32,494
I mean, I know you're
not gonna have it here.
283
00:12:32,518 --> 00:12:34,097
Oh, no? Well, you just watch.
284
00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:35,798
This is just the beginning.
285
00:12:35,822 --> 00:12:40,236
See, I intend to party
lightly, slightly, politely,
286
00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:44,640
and, if possible, all nightly.
287
00:12:44,664 --> 00:12:46,042
Excuse me.
288
00:12:57,277 --> 00:13:01,724
Hey, Poppa... Oh, no.
289
00:13:01,748 --> 00:13:04,093
Hey, Pop!
290
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:05,261
Pop!
291
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:06,562
What?
292
00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:09,799
What is all of this
junk doing down here?
293
00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:14,904
What do you expect to
find in a junkyard, dummy?
294
00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:17,339
I'm talking about
all this party junk.
295
00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:20,276
It looks like you're
planning on having an orgy.
296
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:23,012
I don't believe this,
man. I just don't believe it.
297
00:13:23,036 --> 00:13:24,836
You don't believe what?
298
00:13:57,037 --> 00:13:58,647
What have you got on?
299
00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:03,552
It's a Superfly suit.
What does it look like?
300
00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:06,422
It looks like you got
on a floral arrangement
301
00:14:06,446 --> 00:14:07,924
from Junior Cooper's funeral.
302
00:14:07,948 --> 00:14:08,925
Well, who asked you?
303
00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:10,492
Where'd you get that
thing from anyway?
304
00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:13,162
This ain't no thing and
I got it down the street
305
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:17,700
at a going-back-to-jail sale.
306
00:14:17,724 --> 00:14:19,535
It only cost me six bucks
307
00:14:19,559 --> 00:14:23,272
and the guy who sold
it to me got six months.
308
00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:25,708
You know, you really
act silly for an old man.
309
00:14:25,732 --> 00:14:27,310
Why don't you
try acting your age
310
00:14:27,334 --> 00:14:28,777
instead of your shoe size?
311
00:14:28,801 --> 00:14:32,915
You keep talking to me like
that and you'll feel my shoe size.
312
00:14:32,939 --> 00:14:34,583
I don't wanna hear
nothing you gotta say
313
00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:36,819
and you're not gonna talk
me out of giving this party.
314
00:14:36,843 --> 00:14:38,654
Yeah, well, I'm not just
gonna stand around here
315
00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:40,489
and watch you make
a fool out of yourself.
316
00:14:40,513 --> 00:14:43,192
I shouldn't even let you have
this party in the house anyway.
317
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:46,428
Let me have it?
Are you a fool, fool?
318
00:14:46,452 --> 00:14:49,598
Whose name is on
the deed to this house?
319
00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:50,933
Yours.
320
00:14:50,957 --> 00:14:53,269
Whose name is on all
three of the mortgages?
321
00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:54,503
Yours.
322
00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:55,938
Well, then whose house is it?
323
00:14:55,962 --> 00:14:58,807
The finance company's.
324
00:14:58,831 --> 00:15:00,409
Well, you know
what I'm talking about.
325
00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:03,012
This is my house.
And this is my party.
326
00:15:03,036 --> 00:15:05,014
And if you don't
wanna stay at the party,
327
00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:06,815
you could find you
somewhere else to go tonight
328
00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:11,220
because we gonna
boogie-woogie here all night long.
329
00:15:13,813 --> 00:15:15,791
The door. Would
you get that for me?
330
00:15:18,184 --> 00:15:20,484
I wish you could see
how ridiculous you look.
331
00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:23,699
Oh, no. Oh, yeah.
332
00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:26,903
Let's get it on.
Let's get it together.
333
00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:28,837
Hey, look at Fred's suit.
334
00:15:28,861 --> 00:15:30,301
Man, you look clean!
335
00:15:32,899 --> 00:15:35,311
Good goobully-woo.
336
00:15:35,335 --> 00:15:37,780
I hope them girls
don't scare easy, Fred,
337
00:15:37,804 --> 00:15:41,217
because that suit's a monster.
338
00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:44,453
Say, Fred, that's one of
them Superman suits, ain't it?
339
00:15:44,477 --> 00:15:48,357
Superfly, Bubba. Superfly.
340
00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:50,659
Say, where are all the girls?
341
00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:52,461
Don't be impatient.
They ain't here yet.
342
00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:54,130
Yeah, I figured
we'd need a little time
343
00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:56,565
to get ourselves together
before they arrive.
344
00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:59,068
And I got just the
thing to get us together.
345
00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:00,269
Ooh, yeah.
346
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,038
I can stand that.
Yeah, how about that?
347
00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:03,406
All right. Yes, indeed.
348
00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:06,775
I'm ready for this.
Yes, sir. Mm-hm.
349
00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:08,644
I think it's only right
350
00:16:08,668 --> 00:16:10,646
we should drink
to Junior Cooper.
351
00:16:10,670 --> 00:16:12,248
You know one thing?
352
00:16:12,272 --> 00:16:14,516
That's true, because
if Junior hadn't died,
353
00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:16,185
we wouldn't be here
having all this fun.
354
00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:17,619
Right.
355
00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:20,856
I knew Junior Cooper was
gonna be good for something.
356
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:22,491
To Junior Cooper!
357
00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:24,327
To Junior Cooper!
358
00:16:24,351 --> 00:16:27,063
Why don't you grab yourself
a drink and join the party.
359
00:16:27,087 --> 00:16:28,864
Uh, no thanks, Grady.
360
00:16:28,888 --> 00:16:31,300
You guys go ahead.
Just count me out.
361
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:32,801
You party-pooper.
362
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:35,504
Why don't you take your
wet blanket someplace else?
363
00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:43,612
Listen.
364
00:16:43,636 --> 00:16:45,103
Hey...
365
00:16:47,073 --> 00:16:48,484
Hey, hey, hey!
366
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:51,287
You all remember how we
used to do the Lindy Hop?
367
00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:53,189
Who? I invented it.
368
00:16:53,213 --> 00:16:54,890
Watch this.
369
00:16:54,914 --> 00:16:56,993
Go ahead.
370
00:16:57,017 --> 00:16:58,861
Go, go, go, Leroy.
371
00:16:58,885 --> 00:17:00,929
Go on, Leroy, ha, ha!
372
00:17:00,953 --> 00:17:02,764
Yeah! Yeah!
373
00:17:02,788 --> 00:17:03,888
Yeah!
374
00:17:06,059 --> 00:17:09,205
Uh, hello, brother,
can I speak to Fanny?
375
00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:11,240
Yeah, Fast Fanny.
376
00:17:11,264 --> 00:17:12,975
Hello, Fast Fanny?
377
00:17:12,999 --> 00:17:14,776
Uh, this is Lamont Sanford.
378
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:16,312
Yeah, Left-out Lamont.
379
00:17:16,336 --> 00:17:17,813
Listen, you're
supposed to be coming
380
00:17:17,837 --> 00:17:19,648
to a party at my
Pop's house tonight.
381
00:17:19,672 --> 00:17:21,583
Oh, no, no, no. They're
still having a party.
382
00:17:21,607 --> 00:17:23,986
It's just that, it'll
be a little late, see,
383
00:17:24,010 --> 00:17:25,388
because the liquor got delayed.
384
00:17:31,484 --> 00:17:32,594
Yeah, well, listen, uh...
385
00:17:32,618 --> 00:17:34,196
I'm gonna come over
to the bowling alley
386
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:35,898
and walk you and
the ladies over here
387
00:17:35,922 --> 00:17:37,599
so you won't get
mugged on the way.
388
00:17:37,623 --> 00:17:40,336
Yeah, well, I think
I'm sweet too. Bye.
389
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:43,439
Hey, listen, any of you
guys remember Wham?
390
00:17:43,463 --> 00:17:45,007
Yeah. Yeah!
391
00:17:45,031 --> 00:17:46,175
Let's do Wham.
392
00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:47,376
Okay.
393
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,145
♪ Wham be-vop to boom vam ♪
394
00:17:49,169 --> 00:17:51,380
♪ I can swing it I been down ♪
395
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:53,916
♪ Wham re-bop to boom bam ♪
396
00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:56,385
♪ I'm gonna get some
bootie Yes, I am ♪
397
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:58,787
♪ Wham be-bop to boom bam ♪
398
00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:01,323
♪ I can do the Suzie-Q ♪
399
00:18:01,347 --> 00:18:03,759
♪ Wham be-bop to boom bam ♪
400
00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:06,429
♪ If I can do it so can you ♪
401
00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:08,931
♪ Folks say Swing won't stay ♪
402
00:18:08,955 --> 00:18:11,434
♪ And it's dying out ♪
403
00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:13,802
♪ I don't want you in my crew ♪
404
00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:15,971
♪ You don't know what
You're talking about ♪♪
405
00:18:15,995 --> 00:18:18,407
Wait a minute! Wait
a minute. Hold it!
406
00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:21,377
Hold it. Phew.
407
00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:22,911
I better take it easy.
408
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:25,603
I don't wanna be all whammed
out when the girls get here.
409
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:30,652
Yeah, I'm kind of tired myself.
410
00:18:30,676 --> 00:18:32,955
My heart's going
like a racehorse,
411
00:18:32,979 --> 00:18:36,125
and we ain't even
got in the gate yet.
412
00:18:36,149 --> 00:18:39,061
Hey, hey, hey, what
is going on out here?
413
00:18:39,085 --> 00:18:40,896
I thought y'all
was having a party.
414
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,198
How come you're so quiet?
415
00:18:42,222 --> 00:18:43,765
Ain't nothing going on, son.
416
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,201
We just wanna rest up
417
00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:48,137
because we don't wanna be all
sweaty when the girls get here.
418
00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:49,638
Yeah, but you
can't have no party
419
00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:50,973
sitting around here like this.
420
00:18:50,997 --> 00:18:53,509
You've got to have drinks
and music and dancing.
421
00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:55,411
Come on. This is a party.
422
00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:56,479
Yeah, you're right, son.
423
00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:57,846
No one sits around here.
424
00:18:57,870 --> 00:18:59,848
Skillet, come on out here
and show me that soft-shoe
425
00:18:59,872 --> 00:19:01,283
that you supposed
to be famous for.
426
00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:03,719
Aw, you don't know about
that. That's before your time.
427
00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:05,020
Well, try me. Try you?
428
00:19:05,044 --> 00:19:07,723
Yes. Come on. This is
supposed to be a party.
429
00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:22,671
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
430
00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:23,872
Wait.
431
00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:25,307
Oh, now wait a minute, now.
432
00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:27,042
Don't tell me you're
getting tired already, Skillet.
433
00:19:27,066 --> 00:19:30,879
I'm not tired, I'm exhausted.
434
00:19:30,903 --> 00:19:32,615
You're getting older, Skillet.
435
00:19:32,639 --> 00:19:34,683
Let me at the young blood.
436
00:19:34,707 --> 00:19:36,252
Can you do the
Lindy Hop, Lamont?
437
00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:37,919
No, you gotta show
me that one, Leroy.
438
00:19:37,943 --> 00:19:39,721
I'll show it to you.
Come on, let's jump.
439
00:19:39,745 --> 00:19:41,323
Let's show him.
440
00:19:42,948 --> 00:19:44,426
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
441
00:19:44,450 --> 00:19:45,628
That ain't no Lindy Hop.
442
00:19:45,652 --> 00:19:46,695
Come on, Grady,
443
00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:48,297
let's show them
the way to do this.
444
00:19:48,321 --> 00:19:49,532
Yeah. Yeah.
445
00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:51,900
Say, Fred, remember
how we used to slow drag?
446
00:19:51,924 --> 00:19:53,257
Now wait a minute.
447
00:19:57,597 --> 00:19:59,675
I ain't gonna slow drag, Grady.
448
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:00,909
I ain't gonna do that.
449
00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:02,311
I'll wait till Fast
Fanny gets here.
450
00:20:02,335 --> 00:20:03,779
Now you have to
dance by yourself.
451
00:20:03,803 --> 00:20:05,314
No, no, that's all right.
452
00:20:05,338 --> 00:20:06,882
Okay. How about you, Bubba?
453
00:20:06,906 --> 00:20:10,052
Man, you must be
crazy. I'm Leroy's partner.
454
00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:20,162
That's it, yeah.
Whoa! That's it.
455
00:20:20,186 --> 00:20:22,198
We're supposed
to be having a party.
456
00:20:22,222 --> 00:20:24,300
Now let's have a party.
457
00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:25,867
Let me see these
glasses over here.
458
00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:27,236
You got two glasses? Thank you.
459
00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:29,572
This is supposed...
460
00:20:29,596 --> 00:20:32,908
♪ Gonna have some fun tonight ♪♪
461
00:20:32,932 --> 00:20:34,577
Well, here we are, ladies.
462
00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:37,213
Hey, sounds like they're
really getting down in there.
463
00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:39,348
Yeah, I don't think you
can get any more down
464
00:20:39,372 --> 00:20:41,016
than they are right now.
465
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,352
What are we waiting
for? Yeah, let's do it.
466
00:20:43,376 --> 00:20:44,820
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
467
00:20:44,844 --> 00:20:47,556
Let me just go in there
and see if all systems are go.
468
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:49,725
Oh. All right.
469
00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:51,793
Yeah, it's green
lights all the way.
470
00:20:56,256 --> 00:20:59,189
It's party time, ladies,
and here they are!
471
00:21:02,262 --> 00:21:04,940
Say, what is this, a joke?
472
00:21:04,964 --> 00:21:06,842
No, no, no, no.
473
00:21:06,866 --> 00:21:07,909
This ain't no joke.
474
00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:09,945
No, now you know
this ain't no joke.
475
00:21:09,969 --> 00:21:11,680
These are your party partners.
476
00:21:11,704 --> 00:21:13,882
Now over here you've
got Bad Boy Bubba.
477
00:21:13,906 --> 00:21:15,684
There's Lucky Leroy.
478
00:21:15,708 --> 00:21:17,853
Down there is Slick Skillet.
479
00:21:17,877 --> 00:21:20,322
And over here, you
got Shady Grady
480
00:21:20,346 --> 00:21:25,561
and here's the
ringleader, Ready Freddy.
481
00:21:25,585 --> 00:21:27,863
Ready for what? The bone-yard?
482
00:21:27,887 --> 00:21:30,366
Fanny, is this the good
time you promised us?
483
00:21:30,390 --> 00:21:31,833
Ain't this some stuff?
484
00:21:31,857 --> 00:21:35,404
Of all the jive turkeys,
these buzzards take the cake.
485
00:21:35,428 --> 00:21:37,506
They even drank
up all the liquor.
486
00:21:37,530 --> 00:21:39,941
I ain't never going to
another senior citizens' party
487
00:21:39,965 --> 00:21:41,277
in my life.
488
00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:42,944
Me, neither. Let's
get out of here.
489
00:21:51,511 --> 00:21:53,422
♪ The old gray dudes ♪
490
00:21:53,446 --> 00:21:55,591
♪ They ain't what
They used to be ♪
491
00:21:55,615 --> 00:21:57,459
♪ Ain't what they used to be ♪
492
00:21:58,518 --> 00:21:59,817
♪ Ain't what... ♪♪
493
00:22:29,816 --> 00:22:31,026
Morning, Pop.
494
00:22:32,084 --> 00:22:36,754
Ah! Don't fire that gun.
495
00:22:38,290 --> 00:22:41,337
Hey, man, I see you
regained consciousness.
496
00:22:41,361 --> 00:22:42,638
You know what I think?
497
00:22:42,662 --> 00:22:45,273
I think you grabbed for
a little bit too much gusto.
498
00:22:45,297 --> 00:22:46,408
Yeah, son.
499
00:22:46,432 --> 00:22:49,678
Ready Freddy gonna
be Sensible Sanford.
500
00:22:49,702 --> 00:22:51,046
I'm gonna take that...
501
00:22:51,070 --> 00:22:53,281
I'm gonna take that Superfly
suit down to the pawnshop
502
00:22:53,305 --> 00:22:55,351
and throw the ticket away.
503
00:22:55,375 --> 00:22:57,786
Now, that's the way I like
to hear my old man talk.
504
00:22:57,810 --> 00:23:00,255
Oh, I almost forgot, Pop.
This came for you in the mail.
505
00:23:00,279 --> 00:23:03,146
Read it for me, son. It
hurts me to focus my eyes.
506
00:23:06,051 --> 00:23:07,830
Hey, it's from Fast Fanny.
507
00:23:07,854 --> 00:23:10,466
This admits one to
the grand opening
508
00:23:10,490 --> 00:23:13,802
of the Magic Fingers
Massage Parlor.
509
00:23:13,826 --> 00:23:16,372
Hey, give me that.
510
00:23:16,396 --> 00:23:18,607
Magic Fingers.
511
00:23:18,631 --> 00:23:20,442
Jefferson and Crenshaw.
512
00:23:20,466 --> 00:23:21,543
Wait. Wait a minute, now.
513
00:23:21,567 --> 00:23:23,712
Don't tell me you're
going to a massage parlor.
514
00:23:23,736 --> 00:23:25,113
No, I'm going to the pawnshop,
515
00:23:25,137 --> 00:23:27,215
then I'm going to
the massage parlor.
516
00:23:27,239 --> 00:23:29,918
I thought you said you was
gonna be sensible, Pop?
517
00:23:29,942 --> 00:23:31,720
Well, what could be
more sensible than that?
518
00:23:31,744 --> 00:23:32,954
It's free, ain't it?
519
00:23:32,978 --> 00:23:34,623
Oh, man, look at you.
520
00:23:34,647 --> 00:23:36,291
You ain't in no
shape to go nowhere.
521
00:23:36,315 --> 00:23:38,582
Don't tell me what
to do. I'm grown.
522
00:23:41,754 --> 00:23:43,454
Oh!
523
00:23:48,428 --> 00:23:51,339
Hey, son, what's that...
What's that out there?
524
00:23:51,363 --> 00:23:53,008
Daylight.
525
00:23:53,032 --> 00:23:57,245
Oh... Here, son, you take
this suit to the pawnshop.
526
00:23:57,269 --> 00:23:59,709
I'm gonna get me some rest.
527
00:24:01,507 --> 00:24:03,051
Hey, hey, son.
528
00:24:03,075 --> 00:24:04,119
What?
529
00:24:04,143 --> 00:24:05,487
After you leave the pawnshop,
530
00:24:05,511 --> 00:24:07,890
stop by the massage parlor
531
00:24:07,914 --> 00:24:09,947
and see if they
make house calls.
532
00:24:27,767 --> 00:24:29,878
Sanford and Son
is recorded on tape
533
00:24:29,902 --> 00:24:32,202
before a live studio audience.
38658
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