Original subtitles

RuPaul: Previously on RuPaul's Drag Race...

Each of you needs to turn your partner

into your drag doppelganger.

-Little mini Tina. -[laughs]

Olivia Lux and Denali.

I think I would have gotten more Olivia Lux

if you'd come around the corner in that curly hair.

Like, I feel like that's your trademark.

Denali, we know you as this queen

that came from the figure skating world,

and I think you portrayed that really well.

Symone and Utica.

You are both so different,

but you're showing how you don't have to be a caricature,

and that's why it worked well.

Con-drag-ulations.

You're the winners of this week's challenge.

Olivia Lux, shantay you stay.

[sobs]

Denali, sashay away.

-Oh, Utica. -Ooh, child.

-Oh, my goodness. -You're still here!

We're back in the werkroom,

and Denali, one of my closest friends in this competition,

has sashayed away.

We saw each other together in the top four,

and it sucks.

This is so crazy,

because not only do you have to lip sync against your sister,

but you have to lip sync against your sister in her drag.

And now she left you a whole mirror to clean.

[all laugh]

I got the most criticism about my branding,

so it was very difficult

standing on the stage with Denali as my partner.

Ooh.

Am I not doing a good job?

Stick to drag. No cleaning for you.

I'm shaken by the fact that Denali is gone,

but I know that this is a competition

and it has to keep moving forward.

Somebody had to go.

I'm very happy that it's not me,

because I feel like I still have a lot more to do here.

First off, Miss Symone and Miss Utica.

-Con-drag-ulations. -Thank you.

Good job, ladies.

Your first challenge, no?

My first challenge! I won something!

I'm a winner of something. Aah!

And now is my time to really put my metal to the metal

and just cling-clang to the top.

The fact that we all had to name someone to go home--

The dreaded question.

I'm gonna say Olivia.

I have to say Olivia.

I would have to say Olivia.

Olivia's look did not translate.

Olivia and Denali seemed like the weakest

out of everyone on this stage.

Just my opinion.

It's one of those things

where I just don't take things personally.

I moved to New York with that motto

"It's just drag," and I know you girls,

so I know it comes from a place of love.

Olivia is a very sweet girl.

I love her to death. That's why we were sisters.

But be the diva you are.

There's no way you're gonna sit here and tell me

that after four bitches say your name on the main stage

you're cool, calm, and collective.

Hell, no. No way.

How are you feeling, because you were named, too?

Your name was thrown in the ring.

I'd have to say Kandy.

Gottmik looks a little more like a Tina Burner style brand.

When my name was mentioned, it was her

really trying to save her own ass from drowning.

But it's scary, because you're like, oh,

are the judges

taking what the girls are saying into consideration?

Like, you know, Denali, you are right.

Kandy should go home. [all laugh]

I think so far this season

we've all, you know, done highs and lows

and in the middle and stuff like that, so...

How many wins do you have, Olivia?

Two.

You can be at the top of the game,

and, bitch, you can have a fucked-up week,

and you fall right down on your ass.

These bitches are fucking fierce,

and it's anyone's game now.

Ow!

My track record has been a little all over the place.

Everyone's seen me in the bottom lip sync.

Everyone's seen me go to the top.

At this point, ain't no choice.

I have to show the winner side of Kandy.

Aah!

♪ RuPaul's Drag Race ♪

RuPaul: The winner of RuPaul's Drag Race

receives a one-year supply

of Anastasia Beverly Hills cosmetics

and a cash prize of $100.000.

♪ RuPaul's Drag Race ♪

♪ May the best woman ♪

♪ Best woman win ♪

Oh, seven!

[cheering]

Walking in the werkroom today, I feel really great.

I won my third challenge, but I'm still on my toes.

We are not at the end, my darlings.

There are still other bitches around here.

Who's, like, shocked that they're here?

What kind of question is that?

I'm just saying, some of y'all

might have been surprised you made it this far.

I'm ready for it to be top four.

Let's just keep going, let's keep going.

Yeah, you'll have fun watching it.

It's gonna be-- [all laugh]

Shady!

You're right, it's gonna be real cute

when I sneak right by you, sis.

Real cute. Sss.

She gonna sneak by you

at the airport on the way home, baby.

But you know what? You do have $25.000.

25. I won 25.000?

-Like, two, comma-- -No.

2.500, baby.

Like, two, comma, five, zero, zero.

Yeah, that's 2.500.

It's 2.500, not 25--

Thousand.

I hope it's not a math problem today.

[alarm]

RuPaul: Ooh, girl!

She done already done had herses.

America's next drag superstar

needs to have a J-O-B if she wants to be the tea.

So how you gonna get all up in this gig, girl?

We're gonna have to go out in the real world and get a job.

Are we actually doing math?

[all laugh]

Let me pack my bags now.

Hello, hello, hello!

-Hey! -Hi!

What are you doing here?

My queens, America's next drag superstar

needs to be prepared for whatever pops up.

You're right.

Especially if it's the Pit Crew.

-Ooh! -Ooh!

Now, for today's mini-challenge,

we're playing a little game

we're calling Are You Smarter Than The Pit Crew?

[all laugh]

I love quizzes.

I'm thinking we're about to do

some, like, math problems, some geography.

Okay, the inner nerd is coming out.

Let's go.

[applause]

Here's how our game works.

Wearing nothing but their JJ Malibu underwear,

the Pit Crew will pop up with trivia questions.

You buzz in to answer,

and the queen with the most points wins.

Let's play Are You Smarter Than The Pit Crew?

[cheering]

First category is...

These are questions about the one and only Alyssa Edwards.

Bryce.

Alyssa doesn't get cute, she gets what?

[buzz] Tina?

-Drop dead gorgeous! -Correct.

I don't get cute, I get drop dead gorgeous.

Remember, these are questions so easy

the Pit Crew knows the answers.

All right, up next, drag up your life.

Alaska and Lineysha Sparx

were asked to drag up a child mannequin.

What did they name her?

[buzz] Oh, oh!

-Gottmik. -Lil' Poundcake.

Lil' Poundcake in the motherfucking house!

In the Season 9 episode Crew Better Work,

who did the queens drag up?

[buzz] Kandy.

The camera crew.

Okay, we'll take it.

And let's say hi to Wintergreen, who's still here.

Hi, Sarge. Looking good.

Go tuck yourself.

Because if you can't tuck yourself--well, forget it.

What was the original Untucked lounge called?

[buzz] Symone.

-Interior Illusions Lounge? -Bingo!

We would have also accepted Inferior Delusions Lounge.

True or false.

There was no Untucked in Season 1.

[buzz] Technically, there was no Untucked,

but backstage videos did come out online

a few years after the show aired.

Looks like Kandy's got another one.

Girls, you better get quick on those buttons.

I know my Drag Race trivia,

but when you put beautiful men in front of me,

like, everything goes out the window, honey.

All right, category is shit drag queens say.

-Ooh! -Okay.

Look over there! [buzz]

It is Jaida Essence Hall.

-That's correct. -Look over there!

Bam! [buzz]

Looks like Utica got one.

Which queen said that?

Uh--ooh, I had it.

Uh, uh...

Utica.

Bam, I got a freakin' chorizo!

Uh...uh... [buzzer]

Oh, damn it.

Queens, what's the right answer?

-Alexis Mateo! -Alexis Mateo!

Bam!

Again, these are questions so easy

even the Pit Crew know the answer.

Final category is that sounds like math.

[laughs]

Addition and subtraction.

You can handle that, can't you?

If I have a dozen foot-long sausages

and I stuff eight of them into my mouth,

how many sausages do I have left?

[buzz]

Oh, it looks like Kandy there has got the answer.

Four.

That's right.

-Yay! -Right!

[ding, ding]

Oh, dear. That sound means time is up.

-Aw! -Aw!

The winner of today's mini-challenge is...

Kandy Muse! [cheering]

You've won a $2.500 gift card from JJ Malibu.

-Oh! -Werk.

Aah! I won $25.000, because I'm the smart queen.

[laughs]

Thanks Pit Crew! Bye-ee!

-Bye-ee! -Bye-ee!

Ladykins, sometimes a drag queen

has to pour herself into her work.

Literally. For this week's maxi-challenge,

you'll be using all of your natural effervescence

to create and brand your own soft drink.

-Oh! -Yes!

You need to name the soda, come up with a flavor,

design the can,

and produce and star in a 45-second commercial

that makes your soda pop, darling.

-Ooh! -Ooh!

Plus, you get to write a catchy jingle.

-Oh! -Okay, that's cute.

And remember, this challenge

is about understanding what your brand is

and how to convey that to the audience.

Last week, getting read specifically for branding,

and then being told this week is branding,

child, we'll see.

Racers, start your engines, and may the best drag queen pop!

[pop]

[all laugh]

Okay, what is my slogan?

This week for the maxi-challenge,

we get to create our own soda.

We gotta design the can, we get to write a jingle,

we get to film a commercial.

And I think at the end, I'm gonna be, like,

"Buy two cans, get a gold tooth free."

-Oh, cute! -Mm-hmm.

She's giving us deals.

She's giving us deals, darling!

-Hell, yes. -For my soda can--

shocker--

I'm going with a little burning theme.

Frank comes in, okay?

He's running late, as per usual, because Frank's, like--

-Who's Frank? -He's my husband, Frank.

Because the narrative's, like,

tired of always being on a schedule?

Who's the narrator?

Me, but, like, off-screen.

-Okay, okay, okay. -Yeah.

And then, you know, tired of the same boring life?

Just, like, honey, maybe after dinner

we could have some adult time.

Oh, Frank, you know that's not until Saturday.

Funny face.

Child, Tina is going on and on about this commercial.

Flames coming out, hair down, costume change,

and then we're at church,

and I actually fuck the priest.

Let me tell you,

Tina Burner has a full-on trilogy movie situation.

You think you're gonna be able to do that in the 45 seconds?

Yeah. I love to story-tell.

Even if it's a mini-series, you know what I'm saying?

What is that?

It's supposed to be, like, a can on the table,

like, a spinning table.

I thought it was a very inappropriate drawing.

What? Oh.

-Be perfect. -How's yours going?

I'm, like, feeling pretty confident.

It's selling a hangover remedy,

but it's also hyper-focusing,

and makes you feel and look absolutely perfect,

which is, as we have come to realize

here at RuPaul's Drag Race, my favorite thing in the world.

I love you, Rosé, and I've loved getting to know you.

But you're going in, like, I'm a perfectionist,

and trying to not be a perfectionist,

but be-- ease on it.

But you went in as a perfectionist,

so aren't you really doing what you said you're doing,

but are you making fun of it?

Is it too perfect?

I just wanna make sure that my storyboard is clear,

because the way I'm gonna describe this

is a little bonkos.

Wait, you're going through with the licking thing?

I would love to be able to lick the can and have the flavor.

I think it's unsanitary and fun.

Yeah.

I think Utica is a nut. [laughs]

Especially after being her partner last week,

she's a creative force.

But I think she doesn't believe it sometimes,

and she falls into the trap of being, "Dah-dah-dah, I'm silly,

"be funny, dah-dah-dah,

and hoping you love me." [laughs]

And that's when she gets fucked.

I just hope they can get me a cow.

[laughs]

What are y'all thinking?

Like, being here made me kind of realize

that one thing I'm really good at

is, like, not caring and, like, not being embarrassed.

And I just, like, go with it.

And so I wanna make a soda

that makes you not care about you fucking up,

even if you still look insane.

[laughs]

So, like, it's, like, delusional.

-I love that. -Delusionally gorg.

Oh, werk.

-Are you gonna make that face? -Yeah.

Oh, oh, gorg. Yeah.

Coming in here,

if you asked me what my brand is,

it was my clown makeup, this exact eye shape,

the thin brow, the black lip.

It was very physical.

Now as I progress,

I wanted to show this making fun of myself thing,

because this competition showed me

I have a personality that can be a brand.

I'm, like, trying to do it out of order in a way,

because, like, I have to spill water and stuff,

so I'm, like, that has to go last.

I've never made a storyboard before.

I'm gonna pour water on myself and break shit,

so I'm, like, even though those are the first scenes,

those have to be shot last.

So I'm drawing them last,

and then other ones that are last, first.

And then the voiceovers have to be done first,

so that is a fifth scene that is drawn first,

and it's so confusing.

Wait, I have nine.

No.

Wait, I can't count! I've Xed out too many times.

Hold on, let me see. You do have nine.

What is that?

Mik has fully made her life harder than it should be.

Write down the order that the commercial goes,

and while you're doing it, that's when you go, okay,

I'm gonna do this one first.

Yeah, well, that is this color.

So that's eight scenes.

But then to edit is in brown.

[laughs]

Child, Mik is always lost.

Mik is fully gonna go on set,

and whatever happens, happens.

I can't figure this out.

Girl, I'm praying for you.

[alarm]

RuPaul: Ooh, girl!

She done already done had herses.

We've got a twist and a turn!

Baby, I have enough to do right now.

What else is there?

What is going on?

Hey, ladies!

[cheering and shouting]

I am the biggest Jaida Essence Hall fan!

I am fangirling my heart out right now.

How are y'all doing?

-Okay! -Wow!

First of all, congratulations to all of y'all

for making it to the seven.

Thank you!

My favorite challenge was our branding challenge,

but it was a really nerve-wracking challenge.

Are any of y'all scared right now?

-A little bit, yeah. -Little bit.

This is the part

where you really wanna make an impression on the judges,

and you really want people to know exactly who you are.

The challenges that I did the best at

were the challenges that I had the most fun in,

and you're gonna produce the best work when you do that.

-Right. -I love that.

I was wondering, is there anything

that you wish you would have done on your season?

I get in my head a lot,

and I don't know if y'all having that same issue.

But you have to remember, like,

you are responsible 100% for your journey on Drag Race.

Every single moment that I did not enjoy myself,

those literally were the moments that I did the worst.

If you internalize and tell yourself that you will do bad,

then you will do bad in the competition.

-Werk. -Could you feel it

that you were gonna make it to the end,

and did you know that you were gonna win?

When the girls were, like, well, who's going to the four?

And they were like,

"I don't know if I'll make it."

I'm, like, "Bitch, I came here to get in the four."

That's what I came here for.

Like, I came to make the finale.

It's literally just do the work, and that's it,

and it could happen.

One of you bitches in that werkroom

is literally the winner

of Season 13 of RuPaul's Drag Race.

Any of y'all can take this.

Getting this call from Jaida really, really inspires me,

and reminded me that I am enough.

I've just gotta fucking be myself and have fun.

If you commit to that, baby, what can go wrong?

Y'all get to work and have fun, and look over there!

[laughter and applause]

-Bye! -Bye, queen!

So stunning.

Hello, Tina Burner.

Hi, guys!

The time has come

to film my green screen commercial with Ross and Carson.

I love these two little bitches.

Tell us about your soda.

It's called Burnin' Up, and basically you drink it

and then it's gonna get real sexy.

It's almost like Viagra in a can.

-Good. -Your go-go juice.

Gets me going.

Your storyboards look like a ransom note.

I know, it's terrifying.

You have 30 minutes to make your 45-second commercial,

and you have the Pit Crew and you have props.

-So have at it. -Okay, and--

-Action. -Mm-hmm.

Honey, I'm home!

Oh, Frank, you were supposed to be home. Oh, fuck.

That's okay, one more time. Tina.

Action.

Honey, I'm home.

It's 6:16!

You were supposed to be home at quarter after!

-Great. I think you got that. -Move on.

I have to basically direct my own fucking commercial.

I have catchphrases, I have costume changes,

I have the Pit Crew doing lines.

My God, it's a man!

Oh, shit.

I mean, what I'm gonna get done in 45 seconds

-is gonna be a miracle. -And action.

Now it's not only Victoria that has a secret.

Cut. Is there a funnier way to say that?

Like, Victoria's not the only one with a secret?

-Yeah, I like that, too. -I think it's better, yeah.

Victoria's not the only one with a secret. Got it.

Now it's not only Victoria that has a secret. [laughs]

-Cut. -Stop.

Now Victoria's not the only one with a secret.

Only one. Sure.

Now it's not only Victoria--

Cut. Now Victoria's not the only one.

-Sorry. -It's okay.

Now it's not only Victoria that has a secret.

[laughs]

-Hello, Rosé! -Hello!

Tell us about your beverage.

So my beverage is called RoséAid.

It's a hangover cure,

but it makes you feel and look absolutely perfect in every way.

Great. I'll take a case.

Something the judges keep on telling me

is that I need to break free a little bit of the perfectionist.

And so I wanted to poke fun at myself,

but also show that I hear and listen to those critiques.

Is that a Jantasy official robe?

This is a Jantasy official robe.

This is what Rosé wears to bed.

Action.

[both laugh]

That's great.

-Got it. -Okay.

Drink RoséAid and be perfect like me now!

And really hit the "now."

Like, on infomercials, they say, "Order now!"

Drink RoséAid, and be perfect like me now!

-And burp. -[burp]

And wipe your mouth with your hand.

Nailed it.

My soda pop is called Liv(e).

I wanted to play off of my name.

A lot of people, like, ask me how am I so positive,

so this drink will make you positive.

You see the glass half full of Liv(e).

[laughs] I definitely wanna make sure

that my brand gets across this week,

because last week I got read, honey.

So I'm gonna have to really make sure

that I checkmark off all the boxes.

And action.

Cut.

What you're looking for it, really be looking.

Look confused, so when you find it and your smile comes,

-we get that you're happy. -Werk.

-Okay? -Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Make sure the face is varied.

And you're looking, and action.

Cut. Okay, here's the thing.

You have this smile that is amazing,

but I wanna not see your smile until you taste it.

Because there's gotta be a turn, right?

Yeah.

There's gotta be something that it changes in you.

And if you're smiling walking up to it,

-there's no change, all right? -Yeah, let's do it.

Good.

Ahh.

-Bigger. -Ahh! [laughs]

Really use that smile to sell this product.

I'm living!

I'm Olivia Lux in this moment.

[laughs]

You live and you learn.

You live and you learn!

Oh, my God, I am just a branding genius.

Whoo!

-Hi, Symone. -How y'all doing?

Tell me about your soda.

My soda's called Sweet Toof,

and it is for the uptight average person

who wants to let loose.

-So it makes stiffs loose. -Real loose.

The commercial's kind of like a metaphor for my journey here.

And, like, coming into it

really, like, wound up and tight,

but then, like, last week I learned

that I need to let loose and have fun.

-Action. -Is your blood sugar low?

[laughs]

Just one more just in case.

Is your blood sugar low?

-[laughs] -Can't do better than that.

-[laughs] -All right, next.

Werk.

Now, this drink ain't for the faint of heart, baby.

No, really. I had two cardiac arrests on the way here.

[laughs]

-Yeah? -That was good.

Maybe even a little more deadpan.

Say my line and then, no, really. Like that?

Like, the personality just goes away,

and you're just like, no, really.

-Oh, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. -Got it?

Now, this drink ain't for the faint of heart, baby.

No, really. I had two cardiac arrests on the way here.

-[laughs] -Perfect.

-Hello! -Hi, Utica.

So in my scene I wanna use Clara the cow.

Holy cow.

Because she gave me a surprise visit

in our psychic reading.

And action.

All right, he's feeding the cow.

I believe that's suckling.

I don't know if we got enough sadness.

Make the sad really big, and the happy really big.

-Okay. -Okay? Action!

Get the idea. Oh, I'll have some of this.

And...

[chuckles] Okay.

And now happy. Right to camera.

-Wildly happy. -Yes!

-And I think we got it. -Let's move on.

Yes, okay!

Now lick your tongue up

so I can see that your tongue's on it. Mm-hmm.

Mm, the old tongue bath.

-Ooh! -[laughs]

Okay!

Clean up on aisle one.

Oh, my gosh, did you get that?

Can we use that?

So this soda puts you in a trance.

It makes you feel like

you're feeling your fantasy at the club,

and it gives you your own VIP section in your mind.

-What's it called? -The K Special.

-"K" for "Kandy." -Okay.

-[laughs] Okay, cool. -Let's do it.

Get on the floor and pass out!

Are the cans there? Is the product there?

Oh, I think, yeah,

maybe the cans should be scattered on the floor.

That'd be very funny.

Recording the commercial

is harder than I thought it was gonna be,

because you think a 45-second commercial,

oh, I can get that done.

And then when you're actually there, it's a lot.

-Ready to go? -And action.

Uh, is the bus still running?

[both laugh]

I can get a good one.

Move! I gotta finish these last two scenes!

-Okay, next! -Okay!

I'm running back and forth, making sure my scene is there,

making sure I am licking this milk off of the floor.

I am all over the place.

We got it.

That's a wrap on Kandy.

Yay!

-Hi. -Wow, you look incredible.

So this character that I'm playing is literally me,

but, like, a slutty, girly version of me,

because that is what this character called for.

So get into it.

We're excited to hear about your soda.

It's called Gottmik's Gott-Sexxx Sex Juice.

-Oh. -Nice and simple.

So it basically makes you delusional,

so when you're doing something really, really bad,

you drink this soda

and you think you're so gorg and so sexy,

even though you still look awful.

All right, great. Hit it. First one.

So I just have to pretend to fart

and be embarrassed and pretend to fart and be sexy.

I think Carson should do the fart noise

so you know when you're farting.

Gosh, it's my big moment!

-Pblblblblblt. -Uh!

Do you need to say something before it?

Yeah, I should say, "Or this."

-Okay. -Say it real sexy.

Or this.

Pblblblblblt.

Uh!

[laughs]

And then we just need one sexy.

Carson, can you make this one sexy?

-I'm gonna try. -Okay.

So sexy.

Pblblblblblt.

Uh. Ooh!

[both laugh]

Cool. I think we got the farts.

Gottmik, I wanna make sure

we're getting across what this is.

So this product makes you feel like

the same stuff you always do

when you're uncoordinated and awful,

you feel like you're doing it classy.

-Sexy, yeah. -Sexy.

And it's not that.

Okay, I wanna make sure we push you to the finish line.

When he's like, "I don't get it,"

I'm like, "I'm filming it right now,

and I don't even think I get it either."

But when I explain it, it works.

So please just make sense.

Now I'm just gonna be drinking this water,

and I'm gonna spill it all over me.

What's the point of this?

It's just another mess-up.

Like, when old people are, like, drinking waters on infomercials,

and it's, like, spilling everywhere, they're like, oh!

-Okay. Action. -Is this you?

Or this?

[laughs]

And then what's this one?

-This one is the sexy version. -The sexy version. Okay, got it.

Sexy version.

Oh, oh, oh!

Oh!

So sexy, mm.

All right, that's time's up.

I don't even know if I got everything.

I don't really even know if it translates

the way I think it translates in my brain.

Let's do it, let's do it,

let's do it, let's do it, let's do it.

It's elimination day.

♪ Elimination day ♪

I'm really confident in my commercial.

I'm real excited to see it, too.

I think I could win this one, y'all.

How is everybody feeling about their commercial and their brand?

It's up to the judges to, like, see what they like.

It's their taste level at this point.

But I really had a lot of fun.

I felt really good about it.

I really feel like I found my groove this week.

I feel like I did what I was supposed to do.

I feel like I represented myself, so...

Girl, we're, like, how was everyone's commercials?

"So amazing. It was so fun."

"I'm the best commercial brander."

And I'm, like, what the fuck is wrong with us?

We're just, like, narcissists down.

So, wait, what is, like, your brand outside of Drag Race?

Like, what do you people know you back at home for?

Obviously mine's, you know, fire, red, orange, yellow,

but, like, spicy.

Well, to be fair, Tina Burner does not own flame.

[all laugh]

Rosé is a ferocious, hilarious, handsome woman.

Yes, handsome woman.

I brand myself in New York mostly as a comedian.

-Do you? -I do.

[all laugh] That's so funny!

That's a good one!

Thanks, Tina. Your jokes are landing, too.

What'd you say, baby?

Rosé tends to always say shit about me under her breath.

I'm giving you the opportunity to do it out loud, baby.

-[laughs] -When I say Rosé,

it is not followed by "comedy queen."

I want you to say it to my face, baby.

Oh, but your face is over there, mama.

I know, but I wanna hear it, at least.

I definitely think that I am funnier than Tina.

Tina, I think, is also a little sensitive

because she hasn't won anything,

and she's kind of just been doing the same thing

the whole time.

It's good, but kind of one-note.

[laughs]

Kandy, my love, what's your brand?

People see me as this, like, firecracker, loud bitch.

But then, like, it's interesting that everyone here

has also seen, like, the emotional side of me.

Because back at home also, because a big girl--

listen, my family has seen me go through it, baby.

Like, you know, when I was in the seventh grade

I got gay-bashed.

So I have the scar right here.

-Damn! -That's crazy.

-Damn, that's big. -Yeah.

What'd they do? What happened?

It was the last period of school and I was in gym class

and these three guys came from behind me,

tackled me to the ground, and I got my arm broken.

Yeah, that's a trauma, that's a trauma.

Growing up as a young kid and being gay-bashed

and having your arm broken

to the point where you need surgery,

that stays with you for a very long time.

I think that that's one of the reasons

why I took all that anger with me

throughout middle school, throughout high school,

because I was angry at the world.

I didn't understand

why I couldn't just be myself without people judging me,

or, like, you know, or coming for me.

And that's why even to this day, it's still sometimes a fight

to, like, pull myself back from attacking people,

or, like, not going off on people.

And even, like, with Tamisha,

when me and her had that whole argument,

I felt the need to defend myself.

I came here so guarded,

because queens usually have a preconceived notion of who I am.

And besides my drag house,

I don't really have a lot of drag queen friends.

But here in this competition,

I've grown to have some amazing sisters,

and I'm trying not to keep thinking

that everyone's always out to get me.

Girl, I have barely cried in the last year,

and here I cry every fucking day.

I told you this, I'm thrilled to have gotten to know you more,

but to have seen that there's such a softer side to you.

And it's so lovable.

I mean, it really, really opens you up, too.

I mean, I see so much of who you are

because of this competition, you know?

Thank you.

Kandy is great because she's able to take a step back

and look at the situation and herself and learn from it

and, like, apologize, and wanna have a conversation.

That's why I love Kandy,

because she is a force to be reckoned with,

and she has a personality, but she can have heart.

Thank you for sharing that with us, Kandy.

We love you so much.

-We're safe here, you know? -Yeah.

Especially if the judges say, "You're safe," so...

[all laugh]

So stupid.

You're safe.

You... You're giving me something.

Who, me or you?

-Which one. -No, you.

I feel like I'm about to cross a bridge,

and I have to answer a toll.

[all laugh]

-Not Rosé. -Yo!

No, have a little laugh, have a kiki, baby,

because in about 40 minutes,

good luck crossing that bridge, mama.

[all laugh]

[RuPaul laughs]

♪ Cover girl, put the bass in your walk ♪

♪ Head to toe, let your whole body talk ♪

And what?

Welcome to the main stage of RuPaul's Drag Race.

Michelle Visage.

Now, Michelle, do you pop out at parties?

Not since the surgery, no.

[laughs] Style superstar Carson Kressley.

Now, are you a fan of a six-pack?

Oh, you know, Ru, I never touch soda,

but a six-pack, absolutely.

[laughs] And the hilarious Ross Mathews.

What's your favorite soda?

Sarsaparilla.

How does it taste?

I don't know. It's my code word for vodka.

-Oh! Chug-a-lug. -[laughs]

This week we challenged our queens

to create their very own branded sodas,

and on the runway, category is Beast Couture.

Racers, start your engines,

and may the best drag queen win.

♪ Bring back my girls ♪

RuPaul: First up, Syracuse, Schenectady, Utica.

Carson: Oh, this must be by Diane von Fur-stenberg.

Michelle: I told you, waterproof mascara.

[all laugh]

Utica: I am flowing down the runway

giving you Maleficent realness.

I have this off-the-shoulder black fur, full train gown.

From the little horns on my head

to my long, luscious black hair,

I am just living for this look.

Ross: She's beast in show.

RuPaul: Kandy Muse.

You know, I know she's from the Bronx,

but tonight, she looks like she's from Bushwick.

Kandy: Baby, I am an alien

that just fell down from space, because my alien Judy got hurt,

so we looking for some help.

We have the same makeup on,

the same costume, different colors.

Michelle is a little confused

because that bitch don't like green.

But you know what? Mama, get into it.

Ross: You know, once you get famous,

all those hangers-on. [all laugh]

RuPaul: Tina Burner.

Carson: Tina! Bring me the scissors!

[all laugh]

Tina: I'm creepy as fuck.

I am that doll.

I've decided to take apart my furry creatures,

sew them together, and make my own fur suit.

This is some Silence of the Lambs bullshit, okay?

I have rubbed the lotion on my fur.

Michelle: New from the build-a-queen workshop.

[all laugh]

RuPaul: Symone.

Carson: Someone's out of hibernation.

Symone: I chose to be a foxy lady.

She got on her gold chains,

the bamboo earrings in her ears,

and I have these fur paws on,

but I still got my heels on. Don't play, honey.

She's not touching the ground.

Michelle: Ooh, take that, Foxy Brown!

RuPaul: Yes, honey, Foxy Brown is back in town!

Carson: What does the fox say?

RuPaul: Gottmik.

Ross: You guys, keep your eyes out for this one.

Gottmik: I am serving this weird, toothy,

campy monster cartoon thing.

Like, a scary puppet, and it is just so cute.

Everybody loves puppets.

Michelle: This dress has bite.

[all laugh]

RuPaul: Olivia Lux. Horton hears a whore!

Olivia: I am giving you

a monster coming out from under the bed.

I'm, like, tiptoeing around, because that's the thing.

Monsters, like, you don't know where they are.

Who knew being a beast could be so much fun?

Michelle: Where the wild things aren't.

RuPaul: Rosé.

Michelle: Coming to you live from Purgatory!

[all laugh]

Rosé: I am prowling down this runway, bitch.

I am giving you deep, dark mistress of the fucking woods.

Baby, we've got fur, we've got feathers.

She is like an evil little beast bitch,

and I'm living for it.

Ross: I love a queen who's well red.

RuPaul: She needs to up her SPF.

[all laugh]

Welcome, queens.

It's time to take a hard look at your soft drink commercials.

First up, Utica.

Are you sad?

Are you depressed?

Are you also sad?

Have we got a new soda can for you!

It's the Utican...

Which you can also lick.

[moo]

It's delicious.

It goes in your mouth.

Yummy. Yum.

Ingredients including sunshine, antidepressant,

and the blood of Christ.

[choir sings]

When you think you can't, Utican!

[slurp, slurp]

[all laugh]

All right, Utica, it's time for the judges' critiques.

You're a really creative person,

and that's always fun to be around.

The problem with the finished product is

I didn't exactly know what your soda did,

and I didn't know who you were.

Yeah. Your brand,

like the essence is kind of a quirky joy.

But I didn't see that until the very end of the ad,

when you were twirling around in that field.

And the rest just kind of fizzled for me.

Tonight for your beast mode, I think it's pretty.

I'm not blown away, but I think it's really pretty.

-Thank you, Utica. -Thank you so much.

All right, up next, Kandy Muse.

Hey, bitches, are you bored?

Oh, hell, yes, bitch!

Wanna really party?

The hell I do.

Try The K Special.

What's The K Special?

It's a brand-new drink

that tastes like a VIP section in a can.

Excuse me! I said, excuse me!

Can I get three of The K Specials straight up?

Cheers to being skinny!

The K Special contains only two calories,

carbonated H20, sugar, naturally artificial flavors.

Oh, bitch.

And warm milk. Ooh!

♪ The K Special's gonna have you lick ♪

♪ Buy this shit, get it quick ♪

[all laugh]

You know, I saw this a bunch of times when you were filming it,

and it's still funny when I watch it now.

You're just naturally funny, and you have a big personality

that kind of can sell anything.

Tonight on the runway, Kandy,

this is definitely... interesting.

It makes no sense.

[laughs]

You look ridiculous.

I know.

-I love it. -Thank you.

UFOMG.

Up next, Tina Burner.

Tired of always being on a schedule?

Honey, I'm home.

It's 6:16!

You were supposed to be home at quarter after!

Tired of the same boring life?

Maybe after dinner we can have some adult time?

You know that's not till Saturday!

Tired of always being the good girl?

Forgive me, father, for I have sinned.

I used a four-letter word. Damn!

Here, my child.

It's time to spice it up with Burnin' Up.

Mmm!

Now Wednesdays really are hump day.

Honey, are you horny?

Hell, yes!

Now I'm always on the naughty list.

Ooh!

Hell, yes!

Now Victoria's not the only one who has a secret.

[laughs]

Hell, yes!

♪ Spice it up with Burnin' Up ♪

All right, let's go to the judges.

I think this runway is fun.

And you know what I love most about it?

It's a surprise coming from you.

Because I think of you in one sort of way,

which means you're consistent,

but also I've kind of put you in a box.

What I love about you

is your full commitment to everything that you do.

But what I'm getting from you is a bit of predictability.

When I saw you in kind of the fifties housewife thing,

I was, like, oh, great, again.

And then even last week when you had Rosé in it,

it's just flat-lining for me.

You know, we get your brand

is, like, fire, and red, yellow, and orange,

but you've gotta keep tweaking that.

You know, whether it's a designer or a beverage,

they're always doing the new and improved version of the brand.

Because you don't wanna get complacent,

and that's why Cher, Madonna, all these people

have kept us guessing all these years.

Elevation, growth.

That's what I'm looking for.

All right, there's a fox in the henhouse.

Symone, let's take a look at your ad.

Are you a stick in the mud?

Do you take life too seriously?

Is your blood sugar low?

Well, baby, do I got a drink for you.

It's called Sweet Toof,

made to make you go from uptight to just right, baby.

I've made this with all my favorite things:

sugar, glucose,

high-fructose corn syrup,

gut rot, [laughs]

and a little bit of that stuff.

Uh.

Now, this drink ain't for the faint of heart, baby.

No, really. I had two cardiac arrests on the way here.

Whew.

And if you buy two, you get a gold toof for free.

You're gonna need it.

♪ Everybody got a Sweet Toof ♪

Ooh!

[all laugh] Werk.

♪ Everybody got a Sweet Toof ♪

[all laugh]

It's a branding challenge, and I can still see your logo,

which was the lips and the teeth.

Your whole ad was really cohesive.

With that kind of feeling, it was kind of like a Donna Summer,

streetwalker, kind of very seventies kind of vibe.

From the moment you gave your first line,

I knew, oh, gosh, she's got this.

I loved every second of it.

And then you came out here tonight,

and, like, my jaw was wide open.

That usually only happens in a men's room in a club.

This is you knowing who you are.

You do it with the utmost fashion, style, consciousness.

This is just breathtaking.

Thank you so much.

And I've said it once and I'll say it again.

Your best defense against financial ruin

is a side ponytail.

Hey. [all laugh]

-Thank you, Symone. -Thank you.

What you got, Gottmik?

Is this you?

Oh!

Or this?

Ow. That hurt.

Or this?

[farting]

Oh, oh! Oops.

Ugh.

With Gottmik's Gott-Sexxx Sex Juice,

things are about to get delusionally good.

Now you can look like this.

Oh! Oh!

Oh, sexy!

Or this.

Oh!

So sexy.

Or this.

[farting] Ooh!

So sexy!

Friendly warning.

Just because you drink Gottmik's Gott-Sexxx Sex Juice

and feel gorg doesn't mean you're not a fucking idiot.

Side effects may include...

♪ With Gottmik's Gott-Sexxx Sex Juice ♪

♪ You'll feel so gorg ♪

Ooh.

-Hey, Gottmik. -Hi.

Tonight on the runway,

you're giving us different makeup, different hair.

-I love it. -Thank you.

Because you could easily do what we know you for,

and you're not, and I like that.

The commercial, you were taking, like,

all these unsexy things,

like farting and, like, falling,

and then I drink the drink, making them sexy,

and, like, there just wasn't enough of that separation

between, like, the before and then the after.

Irony is hard to explain to people,

and you've really gotta spell it out.

Because that's what your commercial was all about.

-Yeah. -While we were shooting,

I asked, "Are you sure this is making sense,

like, what we're doing here?"

And you took a moment

and you said, "It is. I know it is," right?

And I think maybe it didn't so much.

Also, even if the commercial worked and it was funny,

I don't remember the name.

-Gottmik's Gott-Sexxx Sex Juice. -That's it, yeah.

It was a branding challenge, right?

And of all the sodas,

yours is the one name I can't remember.

Up next, Olivia Lux.

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of hap-penis.

What does it mean to live?

I've gotta find it!

Journeying through the treacherous Arctic,

the scorching desert terrain...

Is that...

Oh.

Oh!

From the sensuous sparkling waters

of the Fountain of Youth,

introducing a refreshing new beverage

that will make you smile and laugh

and forget about your problems.

For the gal that is missing out,

it's like alcohol, but better!

-Are you ready to Liv(e)? -Yes!

♪ Are you ready to Liv(e)? ♪

I'm living! [laughs]

This is gonna be the weirdest critique I've ever given,

but you just always look happy, and that's a problem.

Because your job in this commercial

was to be searching for something and sad,

drink it, and make that emotional turn.

And you were smiling too much before it,

so it just kind of felt, like, one note.

And the concept maybe wasn't strong enough,

and I think you're still trying

to maybe figure out what your brand is.

Tonight on the runway, I think this is wonderful.

I think this is very different for Olivia Lux,

and I just really like to see you

pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone.

Thank you, Olivia.

Thank you, Ru.

A rose by any other name is still a rose.

[all laugh]

Wet.

Pink.

Perfect.

[alarm buzzes] Wake up, girl,

because you're a nightmare.

Hi, I'm Rosé, and I'm full of myself...literally.

So when I get a hangover from hell,

I reach for an ice-cold can of RoséAid,

the pink, wine-flavored soft drink

that not only rehydrates,

it leaves me looking and feeling perfect!

I love being perfect!

And with new active ingredient criticism,

you'll be thinking perfectly, too.

Hi, is this giant, ruffling texture flattering?

No, it isn't.

And just like any sugary hangover cure,

RoséAid doubles as a sports drink!

Hey, come play!

I'm not playing that.

So what are you waiting for?

Drink RoséAid and be perfect like me now!

[burp]

♪ Be perfect now with RoséAid ♪

I feel like this should have been called Rose Visage.

I feel like this was aimed directly at me.

It was really funny, it was really smart.

Often when we're up here, you're so kind of stoic,

you almost feel standoffish.

But that shows us a playful side

-that I love to see. -Yeah.

And I think it's necessary to have that in life,

let alone in a competition.

You are a joy to work with on a set.

The commercial is textbook.

The branding, no-brainer.

Your name was in it. I remembered it right away.

I understood what it did right away.

-And it was funny. -Thank you.

This look on the runway, it's gorgeous.

It's kind of like if Bob Mackie were designing for, like,

a giant Shakespeare production in Vegas.

The way you technically executed the makeup is phenomenal.

We're getting to see something

that's different to the traditional pink hair

and "I'm trying to give you a fashion clown" moment.

I think this is really fun.

Thanks, Michelle.

The devil's in the details.

[all laugh]

Thank you, ladies. I think we've heard enough.

While you untuck in the werkroom,

the judges and I will deliberate.

Okay, now, just between us squirrel friends,

what do you think?

Utica.

Yes, Utican. Utican, but I'd rather you didn't.

[all laugh] Uti-can't.

-[laughs] -I love when she's quirky.

That's what we love about her.

But this one was so far gone

that none of it made sense to me.

She's got all this creativity going on,

but she just can't seem to harness it

to make herself advance in this competition.

Tonight on the runway, she looked nice,

but this is not anything we haven't seen before.

Yeah, I didn't mind the look.

It was the commercial I had the problem with.

At the end of the day,

I think, okay, whose soda do I wanna drink?

Not that one.

You can't drink it, you have to lick it.

Yeah, that was another thing.

You don't drink it, you lick the can?

Or suck an udder. [all laugh]

Kandy Muse.

I had so much fun watching Kandy Muse's The K Special.

She just was so funny.

I just thought, cohesively,

like, she told a great story with her commercial.

And then just her huge personality sells everything.

Tonight on the runway, y'all...

[all laugh]

Here we go.

Oh, come on, Michelle, say it. What?

I don't know if I even have the words.

First of all, where was beast?

-Where's the beast? -Where's the beast?

[all laugh]

She looked like an alien Weekend at Bernie's.

[all laugh]

Kandy Muse, the queen who fell to Earth.

Tina Burner.

I have been a fan of hers for a long time.

I've seen her working in New York for years,

and I think that's been a little bit of a detriment to her,

because she's comfortable in her lane.

She doesn't venture out of that comfort zone.

This was trying too hard and not succeeding.

She was trying to bang the "hell, yes" thing home,

but really, the name of the drink was Burnin' Up.

So by the end of the ad,

I didn't even remember what the name of the drink was.

I did like her runway tonight.

-I liked the scale. -Right.

Her makeup, however, not good enough for this.

I also never to see red, orange, and yellow together ever again.

No. [all laugh]

Symone.

-Y'all. -Right?

She just had such ease with her performance.

This is a young kid who knows what she wants

as far as branding, character.

Like, she takes pride in who she is, and I live for that.

The job of a pitch person

is to make the consumer feel that they want it.

I wanted that soda so bad.

I mean, after I saw the commercial,

I was singing the jingle.

Then her runway look, next to Tina,

I was, like, okay, that's kind of the campy version,

and then here we have this elevated version.

That's what we're looking for.

She's a BILF. She's the beast I'd like to ooh!

[all laugh] Gottmik.

The commercial didn't really work.

Terrible name. Gottmik's Gott-Sexxx Sex Juice.

I mean, there's about 17 too many words in that.

-Yeah, yeah. -The issue for me was

there wasn't a great enough juxtaposition

from the first part to the second part.

You drank the juice, and she was basically the same person

as she was before she drank it.

But her look tonight I really enjoyed.

It's easy to have a high standard for her.

Every week, she brings a great "lewk," as the kids say.

-[laughs] -This week was no exception.

Olivia Lux.

She had to sell this product, and she didn't get it done.

She needed to look like she was upset,

and then do that thousand-megawatt smile

and make us all feel warm.

She just didn't do her job in the commercial tonight.

Yeah, unfortunately, Olivia's drink felt like a generic brand.

You drink this, and then you feel good.

I'm like, yes, it's called sugar.

Or vodka. Or both is even better.

-Yeah. -She's wildly talented,

but she's just not quite sure who she is

or what her brand is yet.

The devil herself, Rosé.

Listen, she's already established

that she is the best actor probably in this group.

But in the commercial,

she felt like she was letting us in a little bit more.

-Yes. -Yeah.

It's like she was letting go a little bit,

and that's what you need to do as a performer.

If you're not enjoying yourself, it doesn't really work.

Tonight, it worked.

This runway look, it was beautifully done.

She commanded it.

It wasn't wearing her, she was wearing it.

It looked like a Cirque de So Gay outfit.

-[laughs] -Silence!

I've made my decision.

Mis chicas, por favor.

[all laugh]

Welcome back, queens.

I've made some decisions.

Kandy Muse.

You're naturally artificially funny.

[all laugh]

And you are safe.

Thank you.

You may step to the back of the stage.

Symone.

You outfoxed the competition.

Con-drag-ulations.

You're the winner of this week's challenge.

Thank you so much.

This is my fourth win!

I feel on top of the world.

I'm just so happy that I allowed myself to be seen.

There are no words.

You've won a cash tip of $5.000.

-Love that. -Werk, baby.

You may step to the back of the stage.

Thank you guys so much.

[laughs]

Rosé, you did one hell of a good job this week.

Con-drag-ulations.

You are also the winner of this week's challenge.

-Werk! -Oh, my God.

Yay. Thank you!

You've won a cash tip of $5.000.

Oh, my God! Thanks!

This is fucking awesome.

Being in a win on the same level as Symone

at this point in the competition?

Baby, that is exactly where I need to be.

Olivia Lux.

You are a bubbly queen,

but your soda pop left us a little flat.

You're safe.

Thank you.

Tina. The judges weren't burning up

for your soft drink.

Utica. In the challenge,

the judges thought Uti-can do better.

Gottmik. Your soda spot was hard to swallow.

Gottmik...

-you're safe. -Thank you.

You may join the other beasts.

Rawr, rawr.

Yes!

Tina Burner, Utica,

I'm sorry, my dears, but you are up for elimination.

I am honestly scared, but I am here to fight,

and I am here to just lay it all out on this stage,

because that's where I feel most at home.

Two queens stand before me.

Ladies, this is your last chance to impress me

and save yourself... from elimination!

The time has come... [thunder]

for you to lip sync...

[echoing] for your life!

Good luck, and don't fuck it up.

[trumpet plays]

♪ Whatcha gonna do with all that junk? ♪

♪ All that junk inside your trunk? ♪

♪ Imma get, get, get, get you drunk ♪

♪ Get you love drunk off my hump ♪

♪ My hump, my hump ♪

♪ My hump, my hump, my hump ♪

♪ My hump, my hump, my hump ♪

♪ My lovely little lumps ♪

♪ Check it out ♪

♪ She's got me spending ♪

♪ Oh, spending all your money on me, on--on me, on me ♪

♪ Whatcha gonna do with all that ass? ♪

♪ All that ass inside your jeans? ♪

♪ Imma make, make, make, make you scream ♪

♪ Make you scream, make you scream... ♪

I am burning up the stage.

You may not want these wildfires,

but they are what? Everywhere.

♪ I met a girl down at the disco ♪

♪ She said hey, hey, hey, yeah, let's go ♪

♪ I can be your baby, you could be my honey ♪

♪ Let's spend time, not money ♪

♪ And mix your milk with my coco puff ♪

♪ Milky, milky, right ♪

♪ They say I'm really sexy ♪

♪ The boys, they wanna sex me ♪

♪ They always standin' next to me ♪

♪ Always dancin' next to me ♪

♪ Trying to feel my hump, hump ♪

♪ Lookin' at my lump, lump ♪

♪ You can look, but you can't touch it ♪

♪ If you touch it, Imma start some drama ♪

♪ You don't want no drama ♪

♪ No, no drama, no, no, no, no drama ♪

♪ So don't pull on my hand, boy ♪

♪ You ain't my man, boy ♪

♪ I'm just trying to dance, boy, and move my hump ♪

♪ My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump ♪

♪ My hump, my hump, my hump ♪

♪ My lovely lady lumps ♪

♪ My lovely lady lumps ♪

♪ My lovely lady lumps ♪

♪ She's got me spending ♪

♪ Ooh, spending all your money on me, on--on me, on me ♪

[laughter and applause]

Ladies, I've made my decision.

Utica, shantay you stay.

Thank you so much, RuPaul.

You may join the other girls.

Thank you.

Tina, my dear, thank you

for letting the whole world feel the burn.

Now sashay away.

Thank you so much for the opportunity.

And who knows? Maybe I'll see you again.

Just with some better makeup.

[all laugh]

Thank you guys so much.

Miss Burner? No, I'm not doing that.

[all laugh]

Always remember, in case it burns,

it's probably gonorrhea.

[all laugh]

You know, of course I'm disappointed.

I think I had trouble in finding the balance

between too much or too little, I guess.

I'm happy to fight, and I'll continue to fight.

You have not seen the last

of Tina motherfucking Burner.

Sss!

[chuckles]

Deuces!

Con-drag-ulations, ladies.

And remember, if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?

Can I get an "amen" up in here?

-Amen! -Amen!

All right. Now let the music play!

♪ I'm a winner ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ I'm a winner ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

RuPaul: Next time on RuPaul's Drag Race...

We're throwing a nice girls roast.

Tonight we have the privilege

of roasting our amazing Miss Congeniality, Valentina.

Your angel needed an angel.

[all laugh]

Roo, roo, roo, roo!

You were my Don Rickles tonight.

We were howling over here.

It just never fully took off.

Red flag, alert, SOS.

Oh!

♪ I'm a winner ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ I'm a winner ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ I'm a winner ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ I'm a winner ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ Losers, weepers ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ Finders, keepers ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪

♪ Losers, weepers ♪

♪ I'm a winner, baby ♪